Writing Group: By the Fire

Hello, elementals and pyromaniacs.

It’s getting cold, isn’t it? I don’t know about you, but I’m freezing. You too, huh? Yeah, you’re shivering a lot. Well, look around. You’ll have to find something to give us warmth, because…

This week’s Writing Group prompt is:

By the Fire

RULES AND GUIDELINES BELOW!
Make sure you scroll down and read them if you haven’t! You may not be eligible if you don’t!

Ah, just the prompt we need to keep ourselves cozy on these cold winter nights. And much like the flames that dance in a fireplace, this leaves so much to the imagination.

Those flames could stir passion into two lovers who have grown distant, one surprising the other with a romantic night of firelight and champagne. It could bring to life the joy of a little boy reading tales to his new little sister, sharing with her his love of literature. Perhaps a group of friends have escaped the city to camp out, and the fire burns bright as they each share stories and memories. It could even be two parents giggling as they discover their child sleeping on the floor beside the fireplace, having tried once again to catch sight of the one leaving gifts under the tree.

This fire could even be literal life breathed into an elemental spirit, who then makes friends with the one who woke them and uses their fire to tell stories of the past. Maybe it’s a classic dark and stormy night, and one little child stays huddled close to her only candle for comfort. Perhaps fire is how one witch prefers to travel, climbing out of a fireplace to visit an old friend. It can even be that the fire brought to life a little clay doll while it was baking, the sculptor adopting the doll as his own child.

There’s many heartwarming ways to ignite such a prompt. Even ways that aren’t so heartwarming, ways that would burn and ache. The choice is yours to make.

All it takes is a spark of imagination.

—Shawna

Remember, this is part of our weekly Writing Group stream! Submit a little piece following the rules and guidelines below, and there’s a chance your entry will be read live on stream! In addition, we’ll discuss it for a minute and give you some feedback.

Tune into the stream this Friday at 7:00pm CST to see if you made the cut!

The whole purpose of this is to show off the creativity of the community, while also helping each other to become better writers. Lean into that spirit, and get ready to help each other improve their confidence in their writing, as well as their skill with their craft!

Rules and Guidelines

We read at least four stories during each stream, two of which come from the public post, and two of which come from the much smaller private post. Submissions are randomly selected by a bot, but likes on your post will improve your chances of selection, so be sure to share your submission on social media!

  1. Text and Formatting

    1. English only.
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    3. Use proper spelling, grammar, and syntax.
    4. Your piece must be between 250-350 words (you can use this website to see your wordcount).
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    1. Keep submissions “safe-for-work”; be sparing with sexuality, violence, and profanity.
    2. Try to focus on making your submission a single meaningful moment rather than an entire story.
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  3. Submission Rules

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Comments on this post that aren’t submissions will be deleted, except for replies/reviews left on existing submissions.


Comments

131 responses to “Writing Group: By the Fire”

  1. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
    Arith_Winterfell

    “By the Fire”

    By Arith_Winterfell

    I sat in the wooden chair by Master Nariyon’s bedside. We had moved his bed close to the fireplace to keep him comfortable, and he lay under several layers of blankets. His breathing was slow and halting. Coming in steady breaths, but with long pauses between them. I sat there quietly and was unsure if each long pause between drawing in breath was a sign that he had drawn his last. He was so quiet now and lay unconscious, and so all we could share together was our silence.

    I closed my eyes and concentrated to shift my vision to gaze upon the Otherside. Even there we were alone together. No muttering spirit or wandering specter lingered in the room. Only the long dark shadow which had draped itself over the end of Master Nariyon’s bed, and stretched over to rest against the far wall, stood out to me. Nariyon’s death echo, a shadow cast from the future, the future of his life ending. Soon now he would pass and the death echo would fade from existence as the event had come and gone. It was no psychopomp waiting impatiently against the wall, merely a shadow of life’s final struggle. Besides, he wouldn’t really be going anywhere.

    I returned to listening to the quiet breathing of Master Nariyon again. Everything had been arranged before this point, and now nature would take its course. Finally, I noticed his breathing had halted for even longer than before. I leaned down, placing my ear upon his bosom and found indeed his heart had stopped. The shadow of his death echo faded from the room and all was still.

    I sat there and waited. After a minute Master Nariyon opened his eyes and stiffly sat up. He turned his head and looked at me with blank eyes. His skin waxen and cold, he smiled at me.

    1. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      Interesting! I remember the last story so I suspected something would be up, but the reveal at the very end was still an effective suprise to me. Until then though, the atmosphere of this story was thick and moody, with only one notable feature in each realm of sight – his breathing in the mortal realm, and his death echo in the spirit realm.

      Speaking of the latter, it is a nice subversion to have the shadow of Death just be that, another shadow. No sentience or malice to it, just a sort of natural formation of a dying soul. It was a take not so often seen on the idea, I think.

      The ending was great in multiple ways too. Obviously the only-alluded-to reveal of his undeath was a good resolution to the build-up of this scene, but the final line is great especially. It shows his physical characteristics first, implying his soul underneath will be the same, only for him to smile and break that expectation, revealing warmth in what should be naught but a cold body. Hopefully that smile wasn’t one of malice!

      Good work Arith! 😀

    2. DAVID A CHAMBERLAIN Avatar
      DAVID A CHAMBERLAIN

      I liked the imagery of the death echo from the future patiently waiting for events to unfold and meet its own creation and at the same time it’s end.I really liked the idea that Master Nariyon’s death was not the end, but another chapter. Perhaps a level-up sort of event. I did enjoy this. Well done.

  2. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
    i-prefer-the-term-antihero

    Oh wow, this is a really interesting telling of a coming of age ritual. It really captures the loss of it, something that I don’t think is often focused on. I think often stories of these rituals focus on the pride and joy of becoming a man…but I relate to this idea a bit more, personally.

    “To become a man you must kill the child.”
    Oyawantin hesitated. “He wished to remain a child and wasn’t ready to die”–I really liked this. Personally I think, while kind a jarring image at first, his hesitancy really captures the feeling of growing up.

    ” Kesabaiyo had captured their spirits with his magic and there he had trapped them.”–This is a really interesting idea, I’m curious about it.

    “By morning, Oyawantin was dead, and his childhood-self remained with the spirits of the cave. And reborn, he returned to the people a man.”–What a powerful line. The idea of growing up as a sort of death, the spirit of the child taken from you and trapped somewhere that you can no longer reach it…yet there’s still pride in returning as a man…it’s quite beautiful.

    I’m also curious about the title too. If the wolf has something to do with the tribe, the tribes leader, his own name, or if becoming a man makes you a “child of the wolf”? It intrigues me.

    1. Adrian Solorio Avatar
      Adrian Solorio

      Thanks for the feedback anti-hero.

      Somethings had to be left out because of the word limit. The idea was that this tribe was the people of the wolf, but saying that in the story itself ate up too many words.

      The magic alluded to was the paintings on the walls. I edited out the mention of paints and dyes, which is the magic that captures the animals. I wanted the story to feel a little mysterious and some of the cuts helped with that more than some others.

      1. I-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
        I-prefer-the-term-antihero

        You’re welcome!!

        Of course, i understand that.
        Ahh gotcha!! Cool!! 😀

        WHAT THATS SO COOL
        I actually think that works perfectly!! It was delightfully mysterious, enough to make you (me at least) wonder if it’s really magic or not, which I think benefited the story. But learning it was the paintings too is also a bit mind blowing XD

  3. Tyler Desperado Avatar
    Tyler Desperado

    Memories
    By. CosmicDesperado30

    The fireplace breathed bright comfort into my sparse den. A glass of bourbon was my only other company; all screens and devices were shut off. I was tired of seeing the jubilance and mirth of the season. My beloved was still overseas, unable to reach out by the demands of her profession. The snowstorm raged the cabin, no one was getting through.

    It was just me, my drink, and the dancing flames of the hearth. I couldn’t sleep, and the glass held the last of the bottle I had purchased this morning. Time seemed to pass in a blur, my body numb and still. Whether it was by a trick of the flame or my inebriated mind, my glass tumbler took on the appearance of a novelty mug my mother drank from before her shifts at the hospital. The distant echoes of playtime hummed in the air; the sense memory of pulling off snow boots and burning my tongue on hot cocoa pulled me into an increasingly lucid state. It all felt so real. It all felt so perfect.

    My head snapped back to attention, the spell gone in an instant. It was just me, my drink, and the dancing flames. I shook my head and seethed as I poured in vain from my empty bottle. With a scowl and a groan of effort, I left my cocoon of blankets to toss the bottle.

    I felt an arm tug on my own as I made my way back. My beloved the day I had met her, finally laughing at my stupid jokes while holding on tight. She didn’t want to be alone on Christmas for the first time since the accident, and I gladly obliged. The sweetness of our first kiss danced on my lips….

    Somehow I was in my chair once again. Just me, my empty glass, and the dying embers.
    The shadows danced and mixed with my senses. Long-dead relatives came to mingle and talk of olden days. Happy golden days indeed. I don’t remember what was said, only their warmth lingered.

    Just me and the ashes.

    1. I’ve spent a few Christmases like this. Minus the booze. But a few times I wasn’t able to travel to see relatives, and thus my Son would go to spend the holiday with his mom. Never felt any resentment to anyone, but it definitely left me full of nostalgia.

      The story definitely got it’s mood across, and painted a pretty vivid picture while it was at it.

      Hope New Years goes better for him.

    2. I-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      I-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Aww, a solemn, lonely holiday.
      For a second there I thought their (his?) beloved returned, and I got so excited…I’m sure that’s what you intended, haha!

      I think the second paragraph was my favorite. You described the current moment blurring with a childhood memory beautifully.

      “Just me and the ashes” was my favorite line. I think it’s poetic and describes/ends well the peace as a whole.

      Like Makokam said, I think you conveyed the mood of the scene really well and vividly!!!

  4. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
    i-prefer-the-term-antihero

    [Removed]

    1. A sad but also touching story.
      I admit I do have some concerns. Aside from why she’s all but alone, or why has no choice but to make this trip, but uh…they are apparently very close to a dying star. They can get to a safe distance, right? Or was this always a one-way trip?

      So while I don’t have a good idea of what is actually going on, you still crafted a very engaging narritive. Well done.

      1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
        i-prefer-the-term-antihero

        Thanks!

        Yeah, the word limit was definitely an issue with this one, as it meant I couldn’t explain things well XD You weren’t the only one who thought she was alone, but she’s not, there’s a whole crew and everything, she’s just…lonely. I hadn’t entirely thought out why she had no choice but to make the trip, but her parents are dead, and Earth was destroyed, so I think she had to make this trip to like…find new worlds or something. And yes, they’re a safe distance away, haha!!
        It’s possible it would end up a one way trip, but that’s only one possibility. It’s also possible they’ll find what they’re looking for out there.

        Thank you, I’m glad to hear it!! And thank you for commenting!!

    2. Adrian Solorio Avatar
      Adrian Solorio

      Nice! I enjoyed this one. I guess this really would be what a Christmas in space would look like. There’s a lot of metaphors that could be made about a dying star and the three wise-men that led Mary and Joseph to the barn. And for the protagonist the star gave her warmth when she was surrounded by the cold of space and it took her back to her childhood on Earth.

      This was a well-executed thoughtful piece! Well-done!

      1. I-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
        I-prefer-the-term-antihero

        Aww I’m so glad!!
        For some people/universes I suppose!! Sci fi is so vast and varied, I think there’s probably many ways they might celebrate Christmas out in space!! But I wanted to explore that idea of being lost and lonely, untethered from the familiarity of earth, yet still retaining echoes of it…this caught-in between stage. They’re not on earth anymore, but it hasn’t been long enough that they know how to create new traditions.
        Also, in this particular story I think a question could be…are the crew all having a big Christmas party themselves elsewhere? Is her isolation in some way self-imposed? And if I was, was this lonely “celebration” better to her than a party?
        Sorry, I’m going all meta on you XD

        Oh my gosh, I honestly didn’t even think of that, that’s so cool!!!!
        Yes indeed!!

        Aww I’m really glad you think so!! Thank you so much for such a wonderful and encouraging review!!

    3. RVMPLSTLSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLSKN

      This is a fun themed piece. A lonely woman standing vigil for her solar body and reminiscing about her former home. You did a great job with very little room and the characterization is beautiful. Your grammar does an experienced hand at writing. Good job!

      A couple nitpicks:
      “One passenger, however, shivered in a blanket in a corner”—I think ‘under a blanket’ would be better here. This may be dialectical, but most folk don’t get inside the blanket.
      “Space is more than cold”—is technically correct. Space, being a vacuum, has an interesting interaction with light. Basically, if you could survive the vacuum, your organs would boil and your skin would burn. Experiencially, space is hot.

      Another great piece!

      1. I-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
        I-prefer-the-term-antihero

        Thank you so very much!! <3 I’m glad you enjoyed it, and extremely flattered to hear you thought my characterization and grammar was well done!! 😀

        Oh my gosh that was meant to say “under” XD I’ll go change that right now!! (As long as that’s allowed?) I think I said “wrapped in” originally, but decided I needed a word that conveyed more that she was still cold despite the blanket. So it was meant to say “under” but I missed it XD

        Oh gosh that’s so interesting, I didn’t know that!! :O I just always thought of it as being cold!!
        Do you think I should change it to “space is more than hot”? Or simply “space is more than deadly” (or something similar)?

        Thanks so much!!

    4. ThatWeirdFish Avatar
      ThatWeirdFish

      Wonderful story, Antihero! I liked how you used description to set the scene in the final paragraphs. It’s an intriguing sci-fi world you’ve set up here, and I would like to explore it more. The humanness of the robot also piqued my interest. I know that word count was limited, but I am curious to know if “android” would have been a more appropriate descriptor? But then again, it’s your world, your story. Thank you for sharing your writing.

      1. I-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
        I-prefer-the-term-antihero

        <3 Thank you so much!! I’m so glad you liked it!! Aww!! That’s so sweet that you’re interested in exploring it more!! 😀

        It’s actually really interesting that you picked up on that!! I wrestled with the idea myself while writing. The original phrasing was “a robot—android, to be precise—“ but that didn’t really convey what I wanted it to, so I switched it to just robot. I was actually thinking something that’s a bit of a mix between the two. I envisioned it as either looking like a robot, or like half-robot, half-android, and either way having that mechanical, robotic edge to its voice, yet more sophisticated and human-like speech/words…if that makes sense? You can see why I didn’t have enough words to describe it XD
        Have you ever played Nier Automata? I have been playing it recently so I think that’s why I ended up imagining something a bit unorthodox.
        If you have, I was…basically imagining Pascal, but as a more sophisticated butler character XD

        Thank you so much for your review!!

    5. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      Oh, wow. This story starts with a strange, out-of place tone – a christmas celebration without a date to celebrate on, a time divorced from the solar cycle that used to define it – and ends with a moment of both nostalgia and the sublime together in one.

      The out-of-placeness is of course not exclusive to the setting alone, but also embodied by the young girl upon the ship, one young enough to be isolated from almost everyone else on the ship as someone who shouldn’t have been there at all. Honestly when I first read it, I thought she had travelled mainly in time, rather than space. That she had gone to a time when the Earth had long ago died, and the Sun itself was now following with it, but neo-humanity still clings to their ancient traditions without remembering what they meant – apart from the girl herself, of course.

      The ending too was majestic, with the literal vision of the dying star in the dark mixing with the cosy memories of christmas in a world that was once her home, the warmth of the light being the bridge between memory and reality. It was a powerful moment, especially in how it seemed to bring sensations back to her that she may have forever thought lost.

      (Oh and yes, space is very weird – if you enter a vacuum unprotected within range of a star, you will burn on one side while freezing on the other side, because the raw heat of the star is unfiltered, while the freezing side has no air or any other gases to retain head for even a moment beyond the now. Space! It is basically Hell and Hel all at once!)

      This was an awesome piece, I loved it! <3

  5. Chronicles of The Dragon: Holiday Wishes
    By Makokam

    The room was warm and bright. Sparkling lights and glinting decorations covered every surface while a fire burned strongly in the hearth. A fresh cut pine tree delightfully scented the air.

    A blonde woman, whose ethereal beauty made her angelic heritage no surprise, carried in a tray of spiced cider. She set it down on a coffee table before handing a mug to a younger woman, almost as beautiful, who had black hair streaked with white. “Thanks Mom,” she said before taking a big sip.

    A hulking black beast, looking somewhat like a bipedal lion, though smooth and rubbery, with a flat, featureless face and white eyes stepped over and put an arm around her shoulder as she drank the cider. He rumbled pleasantly in his overly festive sweater, and the mane of anemone like tentacles around it’s neck and down it’s back waggled like a dog’s tail. “We are happy to be here,” it’s voice rumbled into their heads.

    The young woman looked up at it and smiled, before reaching a hand up to pat its cheek.

    “It’s great to have everyone together as a family again,” a honey blond woman said, coming in from the dining room with a smallish, auburn haired, catgirl.

    Berri, Jostica, Kat, … Sera. All here, together. Happy.

    It was almost like.

    He blinked. Then looked around, at all the homeless people trying to get a bonfire relit after an apparent uptick in the snowfall had managed to put it out. With a thought he brought it to a roaring flame, and they all cheered.

    He leaned his head back against the concrete and closed his eyes. Well, if he hurried he might be able to find Berri in time for New Years.

    1. Adrian Solorio Avatar
      Adrian Solorio

      This was an interesting read. I’m not sure if the first part was a dream sequence or if the protagonist was having a flashback to an earlier period in life when he was better off and not down on his luck.

      With both the family and with the homeless he seems like an important figure. Tentacles…, I’m not sure if this is a metaphor or actual tentacles.

      I’m curious to know the connection between both locations.

      1. Thank you! I’m glad you found it interesting. The first scene was intended to be a dream.

        Whether he’s important is really a matter of opinion. Kat is his Daughter and last he saw her she wanted to “set the world on fire”. Sera is his…wife? Who may be dead? Two details I never officially nailed down. Jostica is his younger Sister. And Berri is a girlfriend…mistress I guess if Sera isn’t dead. (I’m really gonna need to decide on that once and for all. … Probably dead.)
        And in the scene with homeless camp, he just paused there to rest and got their fire going just to be kind.

        So as for the last question…no real connection. He just stopped to rest while traveling between cities.

        Oh! The tentacles are very real tentacles. No metaphor.

    2. I enjoy the disconnect between the fantasy and the reality of this story. The cozy atmosphere juxtaposes the bitter cold. Despite the sordid situation, he still gives some kind of happiness to the homeless by lighting the fire.

      Critiques:

      I think the first line could be broken up into three separate sentences so that it could flow better.

      There are a few grammatical mistakes, like using its (possessive) instead of it’s (it is).

      I hope he’s able to find Berri. That’d be a wonderful gift. Very nicely done, Mako.

      1. Ya know, I had my doubts about that first line. Just seemed the best way to get it started and set the scene. It is kinda awkward though. I might go back and rewrite it.

        For better or worse, like most people, Berri gets left behind as he roams the world. But he does come back to that city relatively frequently, and it is canon that Berri is able to track him down within a few days of his return. He never stays as long as he did that first time though.

        I’m glad you liked this. I really wasn’t sure what to do and wasn’t really feeling this idea. Glad to know it was a good choice.

    3. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      This is kind of fabulous. I absolutely love when horrifying creatures are just put into normal seeming stories like this, and everyone views them as normal XD It’s strangely even more heartwarming to me than if it were just a normal family-by-the-fire scene.
      I have no clue who these characters are and if they’re from something, and I’m a bit confused about the end, but this was a fun read.

      1. Well, boy do I have good news for you! Maybe.
        All of these characters (except Sera, this is the first time we’ve seen her) are recurring players in the same universe I’ve written for all these prompts. So, if you don’t know them (and want to), you will soon!
        But to sum it up quickly, John is the perspective character, Kat is his Daughter who wants to kill him, Jostica is his Sister who was left behind, Sera is Kat’s Mother, and Berri is a girlfriend of his.
        The Black Beast is someone Kat…consorted with.
        Point of interest: the Beast isn’t the only horrifying creature in that scene. Lol

        Anyway, the plot of this story is simply that John dozed off and dreamed of spending Christmas with family. And then deciding that maybe he could find at least once person to spend a Holiday with.

        1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
          i-prefer-the-term-antihero

          Oh awesome!! How many stories have you written for these prompts?
          Oh no, why does she want to kill him?!
          Left behind? Left behind where?
          Ah!
          Hmm…
          Haha!! Yeah, it kinda sounded like the Beast was actually kinda nice?!

          Aww…Sounds like most of the story is quite a bit sadder than this prompt XD

          1. Since you seem interested, my first submission, and the introduction of Jonathan Rose to TheTaleFoundry, was for “What’s The Catch”. Kat first appeared in “Better The Devil You Know”, and her motives were elaborated on in “My Dearest Enemy”. Berri first appeared in “You Are Cordially Invited”(You also saw her in last week’s), and Jostica was introduced in “TheThingsLeftBehind” Oh, and actually Sera was introduced earlier as well, in “MothToAFlame”.

            1. I-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
              I-prefer-the-term-antihero

              😀 Do you have links to them?

    4. This was done so well. I love that in both the dream and reality the fire for the prompt is featured. And while I did look at the comments to see who the new characters were, you described them well enough that the dream was easy to follow. The black beast especially caught my attention. I’m looking forward to seeing more of everyone in future prompts. Hoping he finds Berri in time for New Years as well

      1. Thanks! I was kinda thinking that the fire in real life, and all the people gathered around it, inspired the dream.
        I really struggled with the characters in this, because John knows all these people and would recognize them all without issue, so I didn’t want to bog the narrative down with descriptions, but I also wanted the readers to be able to have something of a visual for everyone as well. Obviously The Black Beast was a bit of an exception.
        And don’t worry, Berri always manages to track him down within a week of coming back to her city.

  6. A wonderful, ominous tale, Adrian. The concept of a person literally leaving their childhood behind as though it were a second skin that needed to be shucked away is absolutely brilliant. I love the ritual of it all. You did a fantastic job of portraying the fear of the boys while also holding the mystery of the story intact.

    One of my very favorite parts about the story is that they have to smoke this serpent pipe before they enter the cave. There’s something about combining mysticism with magic and emotion that REALLY helps build the atmosphere and the reader enjoy the story, at least for me.

    I’m so stoked to see what you write next. You have this amazing way of immersing the reader in the story. Great work! Please keep writing; you’re astounding.

    1. Adrian Solorio Avatar
      Adrian Solorio

      Such kind words! Thanks for the feedback, Luna. My big goals for 2021 are centered around writing, so I ain’t going nowhere 😅

  7. Mango Gravy Avatar
    Mango Gravy

    Interesting story. It’s always cool to see the context behind rituals. Too often we hear talk of spirits and huffing paint without actually being told what exactly these things do, or at least what the people think they do. And the idea of getting rid of the child’s spirit so the man may take it’s place is interesting. I wonder what your inspirations were for that.
    In any case, “pass the dutchie on the left hand side to light the fire of adulthood” is a very cool take on the prompt. Good work, I say.

    1. Adrian Solorio Avatar
      Adrian Solorio

      Thanks, man. Puff, puff, give is the true mark of maturity!

  8. Claire Golder Avatar
    Claire Golder

    Ignore this

    I realized my story was too long and have no idea how to delete this comment now

    1. Joseph Kharms Avatar
      Joseph Kharms

      I have written this story, (or comment as you call it) on my collage ceiling. This short accidental piece captures a part of the human spirit which we rarely are allowed to see. My bedroom ceiling is a DADA/surreal collage in progress that I like to stare at before going to bed in the hope it will inspire my dreams: this comment is definitely something worth pondering.
      So don’t feel bad for writing a story too long, you have made an impact. I will spend many nights gazing upon this. So feel accidentally proud.
      What is art anyway?

    2. Mango Gravy Avatar
      Mango Gravy

      There’s something beautiful about a blunder this spectacular. Hoping this gets read on stream.

  9. Fredrick H. Avatar
    Fredrick H.

    The time will come when we will put away our childish things, and embrace those objects of adulthood. An interesting take on the prompt. I am curious as to whether the ritual is at all mystical (that being the title implying some form of lycanthropic transformation) or is purely ritualistic. Overall, a great piece.

    1. Adrian Solorio Avatar
      Adrian Solorio

      Thanks for commenting Frederick. The idea was a ritualistic rite of adulthood for a tribe of prehistoric boys. But the lycanthropic idea is snazzy!

  10. Mango Gravy Avatar
    Mango Gravy

    Ashes and dust
    By Mango Gravy

    Arinn used to recite poetry to us. By the campfires he would spin golden words, speaking of glory and retribution. “Our cause is like a fire,” he used to say, “Burning bright like the Sun to burn away doubt and cleanse the world.”
    In his final months he spoke coldly of duty and necessity. “It must be done,” he would say over and over. As if he couldn’t even convince himself of that. In his last days Arinn never spoke a word.

    Ogun was a blademaster. He devoted his life to fighting as an art form. He danced among his enemies and severed them from this mortal coil. By the end, he shambled. Still, no enemy could touch him but where once he laughed with the thrill, he began to weep. The very thought of lifting his sword was agony to him.

    Moteru was a singer before the war. She would sing lullabies to ease our nerves before we slept. I barely remember how she sounded in song, those memories were overwritten by the sound of her wailing in her sleep, and choking up whenever she tried to sing. She had given up by the end.

    Lingar, the tactician who described a battlefield as a painting gouged his eyes when the war ended. Othel, the medic who prided himself on saving lives took his own soon after the peace treaty was signed. And many more.

    Most of us just sat around waiting for death. I’ve seen the last hours of so many comrades and though they didn’t welcome death, they didn’t resist it either. When it was time they simply closed their eyes and let go. To call it peaceful almost seems insulting, for there were no smiles on their faces.

    Their bodies burned all the same, but the fires seemed dim. They say that the soul burns brightest in the funeral pyre. I suppose ours burned up in the war, leaving only ashes.

    Ashes and dust.

    1. Adrian Solorio Avatar
      Adrian Solorio

      Solid! I was wondering how you were going work in the prompt, but you did it and it made sense.

      Fantasy stories never seem to give us the PTSD side of the story, and with all the battles it’d figure to be a part of the story.

      I like this concept. Very well done. I’m curious to know the narrator’s role in the battles?

      1. Mango Gravy Avatar
        Mango Gravy

        Thanks! I tried a few times to include the narrator’s plight but I couldn’t quite make it work. The word limit strikes again.

    2. Insania404 Avatar
      Insania404

      I absolutely love reading vignettes and this one is especially interesting. Each member with their once passionate fire slowly fading like a candle and once one loses all their fiery passion, only the cold ashes of death are left to welcome them. Very well done.

      1. Mango Gravy Avatar
        Mango Gravy

        And I love writing vignettes! Thanks a lot.

  11. DAVID A CHAMBERLAIN Avatar
    DAVID A CHAMBERLAIN

    “A new life”

    By David Chamberlain

    Crack!

    A log in the fire pops and launches a small eruption of sparks. Swirling ever higher in the wash of heat. Ascending like a flock of Phoenix. Scrambling out of the ashes to start a new life.

    A new life…

    As quickly as they appeared they are lost. Devoured by the blackness of the night sky. Quite shocking to Oscar was the contrast from the dancing flames to the vast black void above. Who knew the sky was that big or could be that black?

    Didn’t get to see that back home, Only chunks and slices of it cut out between the facades of towering buildings. What lay beyond was not black either. More of a fuzzy bland nothingness in comparison to the sharp monolithic structures that framed the view.

    The lights of the city smeared together with factory smoke to create a bluish haze that enveloped the sky and left all but the brightest stars invisible.

    Anyway; Mark, his oldest brother, told him it is best to keep his eyes on the street. If there is trouble; best to see it coming and give yourself time to avoid it if possible. An ounce of prevention…

    Never before had he the luxury of just laying back and letting his eyes wander from star to star. I could get used to this, he thought.

    Now with eyes fully adjusted to the true darkness; and total absence of unnatural light, he could look between the brightest stars and see even more stars beyond.

    He actually picked up on the twinkling trace of a satellite slowly strolling across the sky. Inching its way past its celestial neighbors. At least that’s what he thought to himself as he watched it slowly advance and then slip into the far-off blue haze of home. Just as it disappeared the arc of his glance brought his gaze directly upon her face…

    Aimee…

    She smiled.

    The reason he was running. Running from a jungle with mountains of glass and steel and predators to match.

    Running to a new life together…

    Crack!

    This time, not the fire…

    1. Fredrick H. Avatar
      Fredrick H.

      How to run away isn’t of inquiry, it is why they run away is in question. Speaking of which I am curious as to why they are running. The framing of device of the crackling fire was quite creative. Overall, a great piece.

      1. DAVID A CHAMBERLAIN Avatar
        DAVID A CHAMBERLAIN

        Thank you, there are multiple reasons for need to run. Family frictions coupled with less than friendly neighborhood characters are a few. There may also be a paranormal influence involved. It is just the beginning.

    2. Adrian Solorio Avatar
      Adrian Solorio

      I was definitely wondering what he was running from, where he was, and who Aimee was.

      He was running but he didn’t seem to be troubled. Is he in danger?

      You might consider replacing some of the prose with more concrete story elements.

      1. DAVID A CHAMBERLAIN Avatar
        DAVID A CHAMBERLAIN

        He is running from big trouble. The danger is not just sitting in the city waiting for his return. It is not far behind, but new troubles are just over the horizon. Aimee is part of the problem but she also just might be the remedy. word limit is murder.

  12. Insania404 Avatar
    Insania404

    Memory of the Night
    By: Insania404

    The rock crashed into the window, shattering the cold silence of the pristine night. There was no more room for second guesses. I had taken the first step. I had declared war.

    My icy fingers trembled as I held the match to the rag stuffed inside the bottle. It immediately caught fire and Lucas nodded with approval. I turned toward the building and threw the fragile instrument through the broken window. I stole into the shadows to watch the result of my deed. It didn’t take long before the side of the building coughed up a billowing flame that seared the night sky.

    Onlookers and morbidly curious alike viewed the destructive display while I walked away from the ensuing chaos. The sound of a crackling explosion stopped me in my tracks. My eyes shot back to the building, now with a gaping wound in its side. Walls crumbled with each explosion as the flaming beast scurried throughout the building, hunting down anything volatile.

    I scrambled up a hill as the building groaned and collapsed, revealing a golden portal surrounded by brilliant yellow mist. Inky shadows poured from the portal like sewer rats, entering into anything that moved to consume them from the inside.

    Lucas remained fixed on the massacre below our perch as he spoke to the open air. “See how their victims writhe and squirm like snakes without fangs? They think they can win this battle, failing to realize that they’ve already lost!”

    Once the shadows had their feast, they looked up, yellow eyes glowing in the darkness, seeking out the ones that had freed them from their impenetrable prison. Fueled by the hatred of their captors, they would be an unstoppable force so long as their loyalty held.

    Lucas turned to me, his sinister smile now gleaming in the flickering flames. “They thought they would forget us, brush us aside like trash thrown into a fire.” He laughed, “Surely they will remember us now!”

    1. Alan Baker Avatar
      Alan Baker

      Outcasts from society locked away so they can be forgotten lashing out just to have their existence acknowledged. Then the inability to put out the fire, which seems almost magical in its destructive capability, shows how unprepared they are to fight back against that which they have brushed aside like trash thrown into the fire.

      1. Insania404 Avatar
        Insania404

        Thanks for the read and the comment! Sometimes, the best way to build an army or start a revolt is to be forgotten for long enough that no one knows you ever existed. Then, like a blight that has laid dormant for years, they can rise up and strike terror into their captors.

    2. There is some amazingly excellent personification and some crazy strong descriptors in this tale. I absolutely love it. I am here for it. The outsiders. The misunderstood. Those beneath the boot. This is a wonderful two-person revolt, but it is obvious that Lucas is the one who is most passionate about striking back against those who had done them wrong.

      I feel like Lucas is going to be the one to initiate a rift between these two characters simply because he is willing to go to any extremes to prove his points, and he tends to strike first and preemptively.

      You do wonderful characterization and I really love the way you describe this magical portal and you give personification to the building and the night sky. I honestly would love to see you continue this storyline, as it has so many different possibilities in which direction it could go. I’m seriously curious about the main character, because we don’t get their name, and this one seems to be more about Lucas. I really love when writers can write from a first person perspective, and have the perspective focus be about a secondary character rather than the main protagonist.

      Overall, I absolutely love this story and I am extremely excited to see what you come up with in future writings, whether it be for this storyline or a different one. Excellent, outstanding work, Insania.

      1. Insania404 Avatar
        Insania404

        I’m glad you enjoyed it! I love to receive a comment that not only talks about the current piece, but also comes up with theories of what comes next.

        You are absolutely right when it comes to Lucas’s passion and the extreme measures he’s willing to take. Our nameless protagonist, however, is hesitant to follow Lucas’s plan. As far as the rest of the story, I have some interesting twists to reveal.

        Thanks again for reading and commenting and I’m excited to see what the next prompt brings us!

    3. Mango Gravy Avatar
      Mango Gravy

      I love how you’ve given these shadows a certain personality. Throwing in the line “as long as their loyalty held” just adds to much more to them. It instantly makes them seem intelligent and able to be thankful, but still with their own intentions. It changes them from mindless beasts, akin to a force of nature or a primordial entity, into a thinking, feeling being.
      And, of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out how much I love that the shadows crawled out of the light.

      Also, good work with Lucas and the pc. Lucas is passionate about his cause, but the fact he didn’t do the job himself implies somewhat dubious motives on his part, especially the way the pc seems to view him. “sinister smile gleaming in the flickering flames” just reeks of sinister intentions.

      Yeah. I luv eet.

      1. Insania404 Avatar
        Insania404

        Very glad you luv eet!

        Throwing in that line also gives the shadows the ability to obey or disobey the ones that freed them, so Lucas and the pc had better be careful how they use them.

        There’s also a deeper reason why Lucas didn’t get his hands dirty like the pc did, which I hope to explore in a few more submissions.

        I also appreciate that you noticed the interactions between shadows and light as well. You should see a lot more of that in my later submissions.

  13. By the Fire
    By Chengir

    When the aliens came, I was killed with 100 million others… well almost. Before I passed, what was left of my mind was transferred into the computer CPU of a tank. I became fused to a steel machine of war. I am an undead device of horror, yearning to find peace.

    Do you know how you sometimes can’t truly picture people who have died? You can’t remember what they looked like clearly? Well as an undead, I can’t remember my life. Only foggy bits and pieces. I can’t even recall my name. I use the name scrawled on the tank’s exterior… Gruesome.

    I know once I was free. My vision comes from two red, glowing eyes. But I no longer have eyelids, so they never close. In life, I never hurt anyone. Isn’t all life sacred? But undead, I am a machine of death. I exist only to kill.

    Once I had arms for holding people. Now when I recollect how to move my arms my mass driver canon turns. When it finds a target, it fires. Nothing I do can stop it. The legs I had once have been replaced by tracks. No longer can I run in green fields, smell the trees, or feel the air on my face. I can only roll toward my next target, an instrument of destruction.

    The old city is burning. My dark sides are lit by the fire. Sadly, my computer augmented brain tells me the fires are not a threat. They are not hot enough to melt my structure. Andy and Jimmy, the hard-suited infantrymen I support direct me to move forward and conserve ammunition. I can hear the aliens shriek as my treads turn their bodies to goo. I can feel their blood oozing between my treads.

    I hear a ping. An anti-tank round glances off my side. My spirit sinks, it does not penetrate. My arms move to inspect the wound. It’s instinctive. But the result is my canon turns and fires; eliminating the anti-tank gun and her crew. I scream.

    1. Fredrick H. Avatar
      Fredrick H.

      Perhaps the only thing worse than dying is simply not. Honestly, from the start I was expecting a more humorous invasion, but as things went on I was pleasantly surprised at the absolute horror of this situation. Overall, a great piece.

    2. I-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      I-prefer-the-term-antihero

      This is super good!! But also really sad!!!

      It’s almost like a twisting of a robot-becoming-human story, instead it’s an undead human turned into a robot.

      There were so many specific parts I really liked, too many XD :

      I absolutely love that first paragraph

      That picture of them not remembering their life, was so poetic, vivid, and tragic. And the way they got their name!! Oh man, that was powerful.

      The eyes never closing line, I really liked that. I like those sorts of concrete sensory images, you did a great job with those here. (The goo in the tracks image too was great and horrifying).

      Trying to move their arms but the weapons firing was vivid and powerful both in the middle and at the end.

      “Sadly, my computer augmented brain tells me the fires are not a threat. They are not hot enough to melt my structure.”—this line was really interesting to me. I liked that juxtaposition of it being sad that something was non-threatening. Same with “My spirit sinks, it does not penetrate.” The horror of being indestructible…

      This was a great read!!

  14. Unexpected Visit (Big Top’s Cabaret Universe)
    by Lunabear (Private Repost)

    I feel heavy and sick as I sit on my bed.

    Papa is angry. I think he hates me. He hadn’t talked to me all the way home, and he didn’t answer when I called him.

    Why can’t he or Mama see the monsters from the circus but I can?

    I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to disappear.

    “But who would protect Mama from the bad, scary people if I leave?”

    The three-eyed man’s face flashes before my eyes. I’m not scared this time, though.

    *I* have to protect Mama.

    I hop from the bed and set toy soldiers outside of my door. I start to look for weapons, but the doorbell freezes me in place.

    I hear Mama answer the door.

    “Garrett! Davey! We have visitors from the circus!”

    I wish I could sink into the floor.

    I go slowly down the steps and peek around the corner. I stop my gasp with my hand.

    Two ladies sit at the table with Mama. One is the same spider woman from before and the other is red with horns and a tail!

    “Davey! Come meet our guests!”

    The spider woman turns and waves. The horned lady gives a scary smile. Her teeth are yellow and sharp.

    “No, thank you.” I try to leave, but Papa comes downstairs. He takes me to the table with him.

    “Don’t be rude.” Papa smiles oddly at the horned lady. He doesn’t seem like himself.

    The spider lady points to herself then her friend. “Erma. Sheam. Nice to meet you.”

    Mama introduces us and offers them treats.

    Erma takes one. Sheam doesn’t.

    “Sorry for the intrusion. We want to make sure you’re ok. After the box trick.”

    “Oh, yes! We’re all fine. Thank you.”

    Papa nods.

    Erma pokes Sheam with her elbow. Sheam mutters in a language I don’t understand.

    “An’ YEW, Davey?”

    I glare, not saying anything.

    “Ach! Bleedin’ kid!”

    “Such fire, though.” Erma giggles.

    “Davey!”

    “No, no. We visited unannounced. It was lovely meeting you.”

    They stand and head to the door.

    “We’ll call ahead next time,” Erma promises.

    1. Insania404 Avatar
      Insania404

      I’m curious about the world you have here and what made Davey see these people from the circus as monsters. Is it just that they have makeup and costumes on and the kid can’t tell the difference or did Davey see something sinister in those particular people, turning them into monsters in Davey’s eyes? And what of the three-eyed man? So many things to explore in such a small prompt. Very well done!

      1. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I’ve been working with this universe for quite a while. Davey has something called the ‘Sight’, which allows him to see the people from this circus (technically cabaret) as the creatures they are. That’s actually a Spider-Woman and a horned lady, but only Davey can see them as such.

        The three eyed man is named Big Top, and he is the leader of the cabaret. Big Top has taken an interest in Davey, kind of like a guardian, but his approach was too aggressive. He sent Erma and Sheam to try a different tactic.

        I’m glad you enjoyed it. I have every intention of continuing this story as it’s really letting me try different things and I’m having a blast writing it. Thank you so very much!

    2. Adrian Solorio Avatar
      Adrian Solorio

      I’m late to this running story, but Davey sees the ladies from the circus for what they really are. He’s a kid that wants to protect his family, especially his mom, but how will he do that? Are the monsters evil? Does he have any unknown gifts?

      Just questions I was left wondering after finishing the story. Looking forward to the next one, Luna!

      1. Thank you so very much for taking the time to read it and leave your review, Adrian. It’s beyond appreciated.

        It’s technically a cabaret, not a circus, but the characters outside of it find it easier to call it a circus. Lol!

        I’ve written a few installments previous to this one. The monsters are not evil; Davey simply sees them as evil because of how they look. Also, the three-eyed man (Big Top) who owns the cabaret has been traumatizing this poor boy for unknown reasons to Davey.

        As far as his abilities go, they are unknown to him, which is why he doesn’t understand why only he can see the monsters.

        I’m not a fan of the way that this one is structured because there’s so much that is left out, but it continues the story.

        Thank you again! And I’m very glad that you got some value out of reading the story.

    3. Oh poor Davey.
      He’s gonna pop like an overloaded fuse at this rate.

      This was great, honestly. I loved him setting up the soldiers. Give him a few hours and he’ll go full Kevin McAllister. I think the only thing that could have made it better is if Erma and Sheam could have had more time alone with the Mom so the monsters could have seemed less… Or rather, make them seem MORE like normal people.
      The Dad comes off as much if not more of a dick in this one as the others. Why’s he making eyes at Sheam?

      I like that Sheam seems to be Scottish? Is she something that specifically hails from there? The description sounded like a stereotypical devil.

    4. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Oh gosh, this is so interesting!! I have a particular love of circus stories, and a kid (which, telling the story from a kid’s perspective is already interesting in and of itself), who can see monsters from a circus no one else can? Count me in!!

      “But who would protect Mama from the bad, scary people if I leave?”
      The three-eyed man’s face flashes before my eyes. I’m not scared this time, though.
      *I* have to protect Mama.
      I hop from the bed and set toy soldiers outside of my door.”–I absolutely loved this part. This child’s (probably naive, but noble and sweet) resolve to protect his mom, this mention of a three-eyed man, but the fact that he’s not scared, and him setting up toys as if to use them to protect himself…I really loved it.

      1. Thank you so much, Anti-hero. I wasn’t particularly happy with this one because there is a lot of stuff that got left out because of the word count but I’m really glad you like it.

        I did have fun writing it, though. I have more planned, for sure.

        1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
          i-prefer-the-term-antihero

          You’re welcome! Aww I’m sorry to hear that. Well I thought it was great!!
          Would you like to send me the full version? I’d be happy to read that too!!

          😀

    5. ThatWeirdFish Avatar
      ThatWeirdFish

      Well done, Luna! I like how the fire is not an apparent, physical fire, but one of anger and fear. I also like that the story is from the point of view of a child. It makes sense that they would be afraid of the bizarre. I am curious as to why the visitors from the circus seem so familiar with the family. Overall great piece, and I want to read more.

  15. Campfire Disagreement
    By Giovanna J. Fuller

    “You have to get it closer to the coals.”

    “Stop it, Dee, I can do it on my own.”

    “But it’s not cooking. You’re going to-” Dee gasped and moved to take the stick. “It’s on fire. It’s gonna get all black!”

    The stick was yanked away and the little fire that had consumed the end of the stick went out. “So?”

    “You’re doing it wrong. It should be a nice, golden brown. You must be patient.” He demonstrated with his own marshmallow. Slowly, he turned the stick around so that the heat was evenly distributed. After a few minutes the puff began to change into a perfectly, golden brown treat.

    On the outside, it was slightly crispy. However, just beyond that thin crust of toasted sugar, was the ooey gooey center that burst forth once it was crushed between two honey crackers. He let out a moan as he tasted his perfectly toasted marshmallow and gave his companion a smug smile.

    “That’s how you do it.”

    “What if I like my marshmallows burnt?”

    “Then eat it.”

    He looked at his creation, hesitating.

    “Unless you’re a coward.”

    His eyes flashed angrily. “I am not a coward.”

    “Panny’s a coward! Panny’s a coward!” Dee taunted in a sing-song tone.

    “Knock it off you two!” A deep voice boomed, cutting through the sound of the roaring fire and screams of innocents. “If you cannot get along, then you will get no…more…marshmallows!” A pair of golden eyes looked between the twin, ivory dragons.

    “Y-yes, mother,” the two dragonlings said.

    Their identical, blue eyes were so big and so pleading, that motherly instinct overcame the enormous dragon’s rage. She reached into the pouch and withdrew another marshmallow. “Panic-At-My-Roar, try again.” She handed a bar to the other. “Here, Death-Is-Upon-You, have some chocolate.”

    “Thank you, mother!”

    “Thanks, mother!”

    She smiled and watched her sons gobble up their sweet snacks as the village burned down around them. The sound of buildings collapsing and people fleeing in terror, akin to the soothing crickets and owls of peaceful, summer night.

    1. KipOfTheMany Avatar
      KipOfTheMany

      I love the sudden shift in the middle! I was so confused for a couple sentences, and then it clicked in my brain and I laughed out loud. Very fun!

    2. DAVID A CHAMBERLAIN Avatar
      DAVID A CHAMBERLAIN

      My brother and I have had that same discussion. Not while my relations were burning down the city mind you. Unexpected and interesting twist for sure. I am of the camp where a burning meteor like object on the end of my stick is extinguished just before it falls off is a tasty treat. He takes a more of a turn, don’t burn approach. It’s not that the golden glow and toasty flavor are not appreciated. I like that charred flavor mixed with the sweetness. Also the wow factor of eating what was mere seconds ago fully engulfed in flames adds to the experience. The first time was I am sure an accidental ignition followed by an, “I dare you to eat it”. I have trouble turning down a dare.

    3. Adrian Solorio Avatar
      Adrian Solorio

      Ahahaha! Good twist.

      I was immediately relating to the kids as they argued over the proper way to roast a marshmallow. I think that’s an eternal debate everyone can relate too. Personally, I’m all about the lightly roasted camp and any one who disagrees is a weirdo!

      So after imagining myself in the shoes of the two kids,the dragon reveal was a well-done surprise. I smiled and chuckled. And did so again when their roasting fire was a burning village. Well done!

  16. Bonfire
    Ashra Horizonstar

    Embers glowed against the snow-white of the field. Anya stood hand in hand with her tribe. Singing songs and reveling in the longest night of the year.

    The men hunted in winter and had caught a great boar for the feast. They served bread and sweetmeats. Mead and ale flowed from kegs on long tables. The night was full of revelry and song, of feasting and lovemaking into the frosty night.

    The last harvest gathered. Tomorrow they would return to their longhouses and wait until the muddy thaws of spring came. Locked away for months, living on dried meat and dried vegetables, and whatever grain they had stored away for the long months ahead.

    Not all the tribe would make it through. The snows and ice were harsh, and sometimes there was not enough food to last. Sometimes huntsmen would not return home from the icy depths of air and darkness.

    Between songs, they heard shrieks and howls in the long night. The air outside the village grew more frigged, calling deep winter to come. This fire, built from wood they all gathered, would hold the beast at bay.

    Tonight they feasted and sang, holding onto the light when the black of night threatened to take them. The bonfire burned high into the night sky, providing warmth and light.

    Past the village into the night, eyes glowed in the inky darkness, waiting for the wind to hide their howls. Knowing that they too had to feed through winter.

    Blessed Yule

    1. Fredrick H. Avatar
      Fredrick H.

      With the survival of the prey must also come the starvation of the predator. An interesting take on the prompt with focus on the primeval origins of the holiday we now refer to it as Christmas. Seeing the acknowledgement of their own mortality in a time of celebration is refreshingly macabre. Overall, a great piece.

    2. Alan Baker Avatar
      Alan Baker

      Love the comparison between winter and a beast stalking the unprepared. I do find it strange that they would hold a feast before the long night. Wouldn’t it be better to save the food for the winter? Reading about eyes waiting just past the shadows sent shivers down my spine. Well done.

      1. I based it on the origins of Yule, northern dwellers would have a huge party before winter to celebrate life because not everyone would make it to spring. In spring we celebrate Oestera for the life that made it to the other side.

  17. Alan Baker Avatar
    Alan Baker

    The long night (Tales from Adfidem – Book of Boghos)
    By Alan Baker

    Departing from that place Boghos went up a high mountain to meditate. Upon reaching the summit, he laid down his cloak on a rock and gathered wood for a fire. Sitting atop the peak, Boghos beheld the vastness of creation. From the heavens to the bobbling brook, form mountain to thistle, the enormity left him as a speck of dust, alone among the stars.

    Then the winged serpent came up from the ground and spoke to him, “Call my name, and I will send a servant to accompany you through this night.”

    “Beware the company of a broken man for he may trap you in his narrow hell,” answered Boghos and the demon retreated. Gazing once more upon the totality of being he found himself a part of it and was content.

    Then a great wind came from the north and blew out the campfire. Again, the dragon came and said to him, “Embrace my name, and I will set my breath on this rock to warm your aching bones.”

    “Head not the serpent who offers light for he will guide you onto icy paths,” answered Boghos and the beast relented a second time. The winds died down, and warming rays of sunlight peeked over the austere ridges.

    As Boghos rose to descend the mountain, the ground beneath his feet shook. The booming voice of the dragon rang out and reverberated through the stone on which he stood, “Take my name, and you shall wield this power to rule over those below.”

    “Seek not power over thy fellow man, for nought but an empty husk will it leave you,” answered Boghos and the serpent returned into the ground. The tremors abated, and Boghos went back to his people teaching what he had learned at every hearth and fireplace.

    1. I enjoyed the imagery of the dragon and how it ties into the fire prompt. I want to learn why Boghos was hesitant to take the dragon’s name. It feels epic and like this would be a great intro for a longer story.

    2. Insania404 Avatar
      Insania404

      This submission feels very biblical with the devil (dragon) appearing three times to taunt the chosen one, who I’m assuming is Boghos. It makes me wonder if Boghos is a holy teacher, or will go on to become corrupt later down the line, eventually taking the serpent’s name, perhaps out of desperation? And if that happens, will he find redemption?

  18. By The Fire
    C. M. Weller

    Fire. Animals all over Earth fear it. Well. All animals… but one. Numerous legends tell of theft from the Gods or the heavens. This is definitely NOT how fire came to the human race.

    Call her… Red. Because she likes to wear the red ochre mixed with clay. She has always been strange. There’s a few of them in every pack. They’re the ones who risk, who taste.

    What she is currently enraptured by is a strange new leaf. It was not a leaf.

    It was… eating… dried grass in the area. Red picked up some and offered it. The leaf grew. Spread. Red felt heat not from the sun.

    Call it… Burnie. She could make MORE Burnies by moving some from one and into a pile of dry plant things. She could make one big Burnie, and it would keep the area around it warm. She could put it in a pit, with lots of food, and Burnie would stay there all night, needing fresh food by the morning.

    The hearts, living in burned wood, could be taken and used with dead plant things to make more Burnies.

    The usefulness came from another.

    There are other weird ones, who are awake in the darkness. They joined Red in adding dead plant stuff to Burnie.

    Darkwatcher liked Burnie. They fed a leafy branch to it, watching baby stars trying to return to the sky.

    It was luck that Darkwatcher saw the shining eyes of a predator. Circumstance had them flail Burnie at the eyes in the dark, all while making noise.

    The noise woke Hunters, who were good at throwing things.

    “Darkwatcher! You saved us,” the pack-members announced.

    Darkwatcher showed them Burnie on the stick she still held. A stick she gave back to it. “Red’s Burnie showed me, helped me.”

    Ideas grow like flames. From scaring a predator to scaring prey. They became a TRIBE. They shared the secrets of keeping Burnie happy. Learning about what Burnie could do. The tribe learned how to like Burnie.

    All of them will take it all over the world.

    END.

    1. Fredrick H. Avatar
      Fredrick H.

      Flames can light new ideas or burn civilizations to the ground. I couldn’t help but laugh at the first flame being named Burnie. I suppose this tale could be intended for younger audiences. Overall, a great piece.

    2. I-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      I-prefer-the-term-antihero

      An interesting take on the prompt!! Not the tale of fire coming to the human race, but one tribe discovering and them taking it to others.

      I do like this idea of the fire bring personified as a friend, having a name, that was really fun (though I do agree the name sounds a bit childish…perhaps it has to do with the tribe? That their newness to the world makes them childish in a way?)

      Some lines I particularly liked:

      I loved that first paragraph

      “There’s a few of them in every pack. They’re the ones who risk, who taste.”

      “watching baby stars trying to return to the sky.”

      Darkwatcher showed them Burnie on the stick she still held. A stick she gave back to it. “Red’s Burnie showed me, helped me.”

  19. ThatWeirdFish Avatar
    ThatWeirdFish

    Romance by the Fire (Tales from Alsuria)
    By Claire Aslesen

    Ashkar squinted in the dimness of his mask. He silently cursed his poor eyesight for the hundredth time while he fumbled for the comb. Melka probably looked beautiful tonight, framed by the fire’s glow from the hearth.

    Tentatively he reached out to brush her hair. It was wet, and when he pulled the comb back, he could smell the peppery scent of the perfumed oil that had been massaged into her hair. “Alms wood?” He asked coyly, leaning in closer to watch the light dance among the dark strands. “I thought it was hard to get in the outskirts.”

    “A flirt of a traveler gave me some,” Melka said. A grin pushed up the tips of her long ears. “He said it was his favorite scent.”‘

    “You must have misheard him. Because I’m sure he said something different.” The comb glided as he divided her hair into three strands.

    “Oh?” She turned her head to smile at him through the corner of her eye. “What did he say?”

    He whispered a secret that made her smile widen. She turned to face him. Her half braided hair fell across her shoulder. “What else did he say?” She whispered back, leaning close.

    He wished the moment could last forever. Melka’s laughing brown eyes glimmered in the fire’s light. Her soft smile drew him closer, tempting him with a lover’s promise. He took a moment to soak in her fire flushed features before he sealed another secret with a kiss. Passion blossomed as the flames coiled.

    The fire sputtered for a moment then interrupted the lovers with a loud pop. The pair looked up from their embrace to see a diminutive hearth guardian staring back at them through the flames. Its amber face was taught with a blushing frown. Pleadingly it motioned to the stairway leading to the inn’s spare rooms.

    “It seems we have disturbed the spirits.” Melka laughed. She pulled Ashkar to his feet. “Come, I have more secrets to share with you.” He grinned and nodded apologetically to the spirit before following her. The fire hissed, it’s guardian relieved.

    1. Fredrick H. Avatar
      Fredrick H.

      Don’t you just hate it when a hearth guardian interrupts your fireside secret sharing. I am curious as to the history behind these two and how they’ve gotten here. Cultural ideas are also of inquiry. There seems to be magic at foot and I am also curious as to how that works. Overall, a great piece.

    2. MysteryElement Avatar
      MysteryElement

      Awwww, poor hearth guardian. Such a sweet tender moment for these two. There is a depth of feeling conveyed in your words beyond their actions, you did very well.

    3. I-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      I-prefer-the-term-antihero

      This is so sweet!!!

      “He silently cursed his poor eyesight for the hundredth time while he fumbled for the comb. Melka probably looked beautiful tonight, framed by the fire’s glow from the hearth.”—I just liked these sentences/this sensory detail!! I’m also curious why he has to wear a mask.

      The whispering in her ear thing was very cute!!

      Omg their pda disturbing the hearth guardian was fabulous, I loved that XD

    4. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      Cute!!! This was a very intimate scene indeed, and I immediately was engaged in the chemistry between the two. It was sad to read about Ashkar’s poor eyesight at the start, and the idea that he might never be able to fully see how beautiful his lover is in the firelight – but as the scene progresses, it becomes clear that he can certainly see enough for everything important to him, and that was lovely to see.

      My favourite aspect of the whole scene was the progression of how much Askar could see of Melka. At first, he can only see the back of her, but then more detail comes in. First, that he knows that she’s smiling because of the lift in her ears, before she turns her head by degrees until she’s facing him – it’s a precious way of building up the romantic emotion in the scene until they kiss. <3

      Oh, and then the hearth guardian interrupting everything to tell them to literally get a room was hilarious after all the build up too. Overall, that movement from a touch of sadness to a core of romance and a humouous enouncment was excellently done for only 350 words! Wonderful work. <3

  20. Red Grapes Avatar
    Red Grapes

    It’s Okay
    By Red Grapes

    My hand hovered over the doorbell as I mulled over my thoughts and options. I finally gave in and was soon standing face-to-face with her: the only person I think to turn to, to trust. Our gazes briefly crossed each other before I quickly darted my eyes toward the ground and spoke up. “Hey… um, is it alright if I come in?”

    Soon enough, I was seated near a fireplace with a bitter mug of coffee in hand. “I really appreciate this, Briar, “ my eyes focused on the fire, “I couldn’t think of anyone else in walking distance. I would’ve slept outside, but…” I trailed off as I gestured toward the snowy landscape just outside the window.

    “Alex, it’s fine. I meant it when I said you could come by anytime.” She slipped into the chair just across mine and continued. “Not to mention, I still owe you for taking the fall in Big Rapids last year.”

    The two of us sat in silence for a moment, punctuated solely by the crack of the fire, leaving me to peruse my disheveled thoughts until the warmth emanating from my palm broke my trance. “My mom kicked me out,” I broke the silence, “we had a falling out; she was mad I’d been let go at work and it just escalated from there.” I looked up at her before continuing. “She said I’d never graduate with my work ethic and I… God, I don’t know what I was thinking. I started screaming about how tired I was of everything… that I just wanted to… and she just told me not to threaten her.” I began choking back tears until…

    “She’s wrong about you.” She placed her hand on my cheek. “You’re amazing and I…” she paused, as if to ponder the right words. Instead, she leaned in secured her lips to mine for a split second.

    We fell asleep huddled together, content to wait until morning to work out a proper lodging situation.

    1. I loved the characters in this story. You are great at invoking emotion and making us sympathise with the lead character. I know people who have been through this and it brought a tear to my eye.

      1. Red Grapes Avatar
        Red Grapes

        Ahhhh! Thank you so much. I’m glad you think I handled his situation well, since I was honestly really nervous about including that specific aspect of the story. I have had to go through some of the things I incorporated into the story, so I wanted to make sure I did it right.

  21. Preserves Roses Avatar
    Preserves Roses

    Oh Christmas Tree
    By PreservesRoses

    Lucy leaned forward, the lawn chair creaking under her as she dropped another junk of spruce wood into the fire pit. The impact sent a spray of sparks up into the night sky. As if they could somehow join in the dance of distant stars twirling overhead.

    It had been a good day when they cut that tree down. Taking the time to discuss several, before deciding this one was the one they would take home.

    Next had come setting it up, lights, and stringing the beads. With Christmas songs playing in the background, the family gathering together to place the ornaments: so many gifts from friends and family; each one a little memory.

    The excitement of Christmas day, carefully wrapped treasures, with shiny ribbons on top. The kids had been so excited, they had been bouncing in place. Sitting on the floor ripping paper, and the delight of discovering what was inside. The tree had stood over them like it was watching, a visitor of honour in their home for a short time; decked out in it’s fanciest attire.

    Lucy shifted in her chair, wrapping her shawl a little higher around her arms, adding another piece of wood from the dwindling pile beside her.

    Yes it had been a very good Christmas, with visitors to their home and trips out to see others. Some of them were people they only saw once a year.

    When the festivities had passed, even taking the tree down was a little ritual all it’s own. Packing each ornament away carefully to save for the next year. Wrestling the tree out of the stand, watching as it was carried across the living room and out the patio door. Then it would be thrown off the deck with a touch more drama then was needed. To crash onto the lawn below. There the tree would wait out the rest of the winter in the garden until some pleasant July evening, when the family would gather around it again, for a very different reason.

    Lucy sighed with contentment, “Would anyone like to roast a marshmallow?”

    1. Makeshift Mousepad Avatar
      Makeshift Mousepad

      A nice cozy story that shows the passing of seasons and the traditions that come with them. The start of the story featuring burning spruce logs and the theme of the week being “by the fire” are great ways of letting the reader figure out on their own what the characters are standing around.

      Well, that and the fact that the only other way to cook a marshmallow is in the microwave. So, just saying “roast a marshmallow” immediately invokes ideas of sitting around a campfire at night.

    2. I’d be remiss, if I said that I didn’t expect some kind of adversary to appear, but I’m glad it didn’t. This is a wonderfully sweet Christmas story and I appreciate that.

      I love how you cycle through different traditions. It really helps to get to know this family. It’s a very wholesome interpretation of this prompt and I like it.

      Well done!

    3. KipOfTheMany Avatar
      KipOfTheMany

      I can feel time passing in this story. The tree makes for a good vehicle to portray time passing, but beyond that the story itself feels so nastagic. Like this is a story an adult is telling about their childhood traditions. And I can’t really pinpoint why it’s so nastagic. I think it might be the vivid descriptions in past tense.

  22. Makeshift Mousepad Avatar
    Makeshift Mousepad

    A Dragon, in Name Alone
    By: Makeshift Mousepad

    The smooth light from the hearth washed the dark night away from Joseph’s face. He didn’t need its warmth or light but Ariadne did.

    “Warm enough?” Joseph asked.

    “Almost.” Ariadne patted the bench next to her and smiled.

    Joseph rolled his eyes and lumbered over to the bench. His figure eclipsing the hearth until he sat down.

    “See. You’re not so bad.” Ariadne smiled and leaned against Joseph.

    “Spoken like someone that didn’t fight in the war.”

    She looked up at him. His gray eyes caught the glint of the fire that he seemed entranced by. “Everyone else has already forgotten about it. Eventually you’ll have to forgive yourself and move on.”

    “I’m not thinking about the war… It’s Caroline.” Joseph explained. “After over two-hundred years I finally got closure and learned that when she died, she didn’t hate me.”

    “Isn’t that a good thing?” Ariadne raised a brow.

    Joseph sighed, “The reason that I became this way is because I couldn’t let go of my grief. My nano bots were supposed to be a medical device that could cure any injury. But after she died, I kept them to myself. I used them to become immortal and eventually turned them into a weapon that could eat anything and turn it into more nanobots. I had clones of myself march against humanity with muscles like artillery shells and the ability to regenerate any damage in minutes.”

    “Impressed with your own technology?” Ariadne gave him a tired stare.

    “Heh, sorry.” Joseph chuckled, “Anyway, I nearly brought an end to humanity in my grief.” Joseph’s expression became pained. “If Caroline had just told me how she felt, maybe none of this would have happened.”

    Unknowingly his words had lulled Ariadne to sleep but he couldn’t do the same. He could see his former eyes in the fire. And he could feel his former self swimming in the shadows of the hearth. “…I won’t become a monster again. I promise… Caroline.”

    1. Call me pedantic, but aiming to destroy the world because someone didn’t SAY they returned your feelings already makes a person a monster. After that point, vowing to not do it again after two hundred years of regret and hindsight seems a little… lacking.

      If we were permitted to serialise, I’d ask for a more involved redemption arc… maybe exploring who Ariadne is to Joseph. It’s hard to squeeze something this intense into the word limits 😀

      1. Makeshift Mousepad Avatar
        Makeshift Mousepad

        Great point. I had a feeling that this story didn’t quite convey what Joseph was saying. If I could change it I would have simplified the lore dump/ exposition and given Ariadne more dialog to explain what Joseph meant. In the simplest of terms, he is being hard on himself because he is the only person who remembers these events. Ariadne should have told him to stop being so hard on himself (or something to that effect).

        If you are curious about what actually happened, part 1 of his original story arc is in the #share-your-writing chat on discord.

    2. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      Ahh, the start was rather cute – Ariadne knew he didn’t need the fire to stay warm and was naturally avoident of it, but she managed to gently encourage him to join her side anyway. It’s a rather sweet and intimate moment (even if they are just friends, friends can still have moments like that!) which I rather adored. 😀

      Of course, the moments Joseph recalled afterwards were rather less sweet. Both sad, with the reveal of what happened with Caroline, and the awful aftermath that resulted in Joseph’s terrifying actions. I’m glad that whatever happened, people seem to have recovered, even forgotten it now. Certainly, Ariadne seems to bear him no ill-will for such actions.

      I do have some criticism about one line: “Unknowingly his words had lulled Ariadne to sleep but he couldn’t do the same.” Firstly, there should probably be a comma after ‘sleep’ to break up the sentence better, and secondly, I think this sentence could have been the start of a new paragraph, since it reveals a change in the scene. The second half of the story got a bit chunky with the lore being revealed, so that extra paragraph break could help it be a little more digestable to read. 🙂

      Overall though, a lovely followup to your last story! Very well done. :3

      1. Makeshift Mousepad Avatar
        Makeshift Mousepad

        Thank you for the feed back. The final paragraph didn’t shape up quite how I wanted it to. (In my response to another comment I discussed how I would have changed parts of the story in retrospect).

        The extra paragraph at the end defiantly would have helped with the transition to the next moment.

  23. Fredrick H. Avatar
    Fredrick H.

    A Late Night Visitor (Crossroads City Canon)
    By Fredrick H. (challeng3r22)

    Angela awoke to someone smashing down her apartment door.

    Grabbing her sword she rushed as the wards shattered around her.

    At the entrance stood a creature that was monstrous in size and shape.

    Dashing forward, sword held aloft, she prepared to strike down the menace.

    Quickly the creature held out a reddened hand as a rune the shape of a bent cross glowed on its arm.

    Her blow was blocked with mystical energy as the grey arm knocked her aside.

    “Identify yourself,” she commanded.

    “I am merely a servant, and you are merely my target,” it replied in the voice of a storm.

    A sideways V burned on its forearm as it slammed its hand into the wall. Fire sprung from the fingertips and the apartment began to burn.

    “A servant to whom?”

    “Survive and you might learn of her greatness.”

    She once again made a swing at the creature. This time it caught the blade, ripped it from her hands, and cast it out the window.

    She scrambled to get away as a straight line glowed on that infernal arm. A burst of cold flashed across her body as her calves and feet were joined to the ground with ice.

    She attempted to smash through the ice with her bare fists, but she soon found them joined with the mass.

    “I thought the chosen one would be a challenge, but you proved to be a disappointment. I will have to burn this building passed the foundations.”

    In its wake it left a trail of fire.

    1. Preserves Roses Avatar
      Preserves Roses

      Sort of a superhero style cliff hanger. He leaves assuming he has beaten her, without making sure. If she is some sort of chosen one, it implies that she will somehow escape to find out who tried to kill her. I also really like the creature that you created as the assassin. The flat character you gave him is well done, and I like the style of magic he uses.

    2. I-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      I-prefer-the-term-antihero

      This is fabulous!! I was hoping to find more than just cute fireplace scenes, so I was delighted by this take on the prompt!! “In its wake it left a trail of fire” was just a fabulous inclusion of the prompt.

      Action and describing hand motions for magic/superpowers are two things I struggle with, so I really admire how well you did both these things in this story!! It was really engaging.

      “it replied in the voice of a storm.”—smacked me in the face in the best way possible XD

      I liked the servant character a lot!!
      I’m very curious about where this story could go!!

  24. Connor A. Avatar
    Connor A.

    First Attempt (Novus Academia)
    By Connor A.

    “Tell me another story.”

    “Bal, it’s already late.”

    “Please?”

    “…Fine. What—?”

    “Tell me how you got white eyes.”

    Miranda tensed. She looked at the tent behind her son, then back at him.

    “Only if you don’t tell your sister.”

    Balthazar nodded.

    “Well…” Miranda debated how to start. “It came from my job.”

    “The executer one?”

    “Executor. And yes, that one.”

    “What does this have to do with your eyes?”

    “I’m getting to that. You see, I’ve seen a lot since I started. The more things I’ve seen, the more my eyes… you know.” She pointed at her eyes. “Changed color.”

    “What did you see?”

    A new voice cut through, “The very strings of fate.”

    Balthazar and Miranda turned their attention to the voice and saw a man in a suit. He approached the campfire with a grin on his face.

    “I can’t believe you hid your son’s existence from me,” the man said to Miranda. “That is quite the feat.”

    “What do you want, Gabriel?” Miranda asked. She felt a twinge of guilt when she saw Balthazar flinch at her voice.

    “Certain events are set to arise, so Lady Fate has to cut your vacation short.”

    Balthazar shot up, “This is the first time she’s had a break in years!”

    Gabriel bent down and gave a condescending smile, “Welcome to adulthood.”

    Balthazar was about to kick Gabriel’s shin when he felt his mother’s hand on his shoulder.

    “Leave,” Miranda demanded.

    Gabriel stood up straight and smiled, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, he walked away.

    Balthazar turned to face Miranda. His original question died when he saw the grave look on her face.

    “Promise me you’ll avoid him.”

    Balthazar nodded slowly, a bit confused. He let his mom hug him, and he returned the favor.

    “You know I love you, right?”

    “Mhm.”

    “And no matter what happens, that will never change.”

    “Mhm.”

    Miranda pulled away and ruffled Balthazar’s hair. “Good. Now go to bed.”

    Balthazar entered the tent, but Miranda stayed outside and watched the fire with a heavy heart.

    “Nothing changed. Dammit!” She kicked a lone pebble.

    1. Preserves Roses Avatar
      Preserves Roses

      This story is so relatable. A mother trying to balance family and work. At the same time it is so much bigger with the mother character being Fate herself. The 2 main characters are well characterized in the short space that we have. I really enjoyed reading it. Makes me wonder if the son is going to not listen to his mother and get involved in that part of her life.

    2. This story is incredibly poignant. I feel so bad for Miranda, when she’s just trying to be there for her son, but ‘Lady Fate’ has other ideas. I do wonder where she got the white eyes from.

      I like how you wrote these two characters. I’m already familiar with Balthazar and believe me, it’s good to see him happy as a child (even for a bit). Miranda is also really well done, though I was hoping she would ditch Gabriel and stay with her family.

      Great piece!

    3. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      Aww, this is properly sad. The first time a mother and son get to bond in a very long time, and it is already over. Though if she is a servant of Fate herself, it is not exactly a suprise that there will always be more work to be done. I get the feeling that she was never supposed to have physical attachments (such as children) to the world, judging how she tried to hide her son’s existence from Gabriel – and yet, he doesn’t seem to directly admonish her for having a child, either. Seems like some complex stuff going on here.

      The dialogue between everyone was great here – my fave line was probably Gabriel’s first, where he cuts through all the generalities and vagueness of Miranda’s explaination to give what is likely the truth of the matter, as well as being a strong establishing line for him in general. And having Miranda try to comfort her son, with him only making little affirmative noises back, was both very sweet and sad at the same time. Very well done Connor! 🙂

  25. Joseph Kharms Avatar
    Joseph Kharms

    “A Warm goodbye”
    By Joseph Kharms

    I want to say thank you to my good friend the grass hopper. When I got shot, in Vietnam. I lay on the ground, alone. It was silent around me, nothing stirred amongst the mist and the trees of the jungle. My face was down in the mud. A little grasshopper came scuttling through the grass on an adorably small, but appropriately sized, bicycle and decided to socialise with me.
    It wasn’t just because I had been shot and was unable to move that I listened and chatted to the grasshopper, I was also very interested in what he had to say. After all, one does not see an insect on a bicycle every day.
    The grasshopper said this.

    “I once had a wife, who was wetted by the rain. When a grasshopper gets wetted, they cannot ride bikes, you see our legs get all heavy and our curved bums slip right off the saddle. I had to dry my wetted wife quickly, we were going to be late to our party with the elephants of London, so it was necessary we start cycling promptly.

    I took her to a fire, and waved her in the air. But her legs were still moistened so I edged closer to the fire. Sadly, I set fire to my wife that night. And she screamed
    “I’m on fire! I’m a grasshopper on fire!”

    I ended up late for the party, and my wife didn’t make it at all; she’d burned to death.”

    My consciousness began to slip, the world started distorting. But, in the face of death, I couldn’t help but laugh at the little grasshopper’s story. I wish I’d set fire to my wife, she was a scarecrow and when I dragged her to parties she didn’t say anything. Infact she didn’t say anything at all, because she was a scarecrow. I’d wasted my whole life, married to a scarecrow when I actually loved the crow in the corner shop. But my wife would always scare her away, so I could only catch that beautiful black bird in a blur as she darted behind the shop’s shelves. The thought of burning my scarecrow wife was comforting.

    So, I want to say thank you to my good friend the grasshopper, for being with me whilst I drew my last breath and said:

    “Goodbye.”

    1. Fredrick H. Avatar
      Fredrick H.

      Huh. Is this supposed to be funny? Is it supposed to be depressing? A combination of both? I could see a potential metaphor with the scarecrow being a trophy or expected wife of sorts while the crow is a true or forbidden love. I don’t know if this supposed to surrealist or dadaist in nature, but it is an intriguing take on the prompt. Overall, a great piece.

    2. Makeshift Mousepad Avatar
      Makeshift Mousepad

      The mind can do strange things when it is under dire circumstances. It seems as if this soldier is living through a fever dream as his brain becomes depraved of oxygen. Perhaps he imagined a grasshopper because they can indicate when people are hiding in nearby bushes. This means that hearing grasshoppers make noise means that nobody is nearby. In their final moments, this became the only comfort he could manifest in the haze of war.

    3. DAVID A CHAMBERLAIN Avatar
      DAVID A CHAMBERLAIN

      I liked this story. This story is an onion. Multiple layers buried one on top of the other.
      At first fantasy reminiscent of Alice in wonderland. I went down that rabbit hole and start asking questions and it became a multi-layered thought provoking tragedy.

  26. RVMPLSTLSKN Avatar
    RVMPLSTLSKN

    By the Fire
    By RVMPLSTLSKN (repost from private)

    The Everflame smoldered.

    Vienas couldn’t see its waning light, but she felt it on her skin. She felt the cold too. There was no barrier of heat emanating from Raimundos’s Everflame.

    “Is that all of it?” She asked.

    “Yes,” Padas said.

    “And it’s still burning?”

    “Yes.”

    “Tell me about it.”

    She felt his arm rise and fall in a shrug. “It’s a fire.”

    She laughed. “And?”

    “There’s no wood with it.”

    “What’s it attached to?”

    “Nothing.”

    Impossible, she thought. But how could she understand the workings of gods? What is possible to the divine? Still, she’d always thought the Everflame would be tethered to an object.

    “Did it give you trouble?”

    “No.”

    “And the shovel?”

    “The iron glowed white, but it went back to normal.”

    She nodded. If their situation weren’t so bleak, so incomprehensible, she might have laughed at the thought of collecting temple relics to keep peasants warm. Divine gifts should be used though.

    She laid a hand on his arm. He stiffened. “Thank you.” She knew he was unnerved by the empty temples.

    “I’m going clamming tomorrow,” he said. “We’ll start a stew.”

    “A curry,” she said. “There’s lard and rice in the stores. And peppers.”

    He nodded. It was strange. She could feel the tension and shift in his arm, but not see his frown. She wondered how she knew he was frowning; if she would ever grow accustomed to not seeing; if he would ever relax around her.

    “What can I do to prepare while you’re gone?” She didn’t look up at him. She’d started keeping her eyes closed. She wanted him to be at ease.

    “I don’t know.”

    “Well, I can’t cook yet.”

    Nor can I read, she thought. It was the worst part of her blindness.

    “I’ll cook, priestess.”

    “Vienas!” She snapped. “You’ll call me by my name.”

    “Yes, Vienas.”

    “And you’ll drop that tone. There’s no castes anymore.” She shuddered, knowing her place if there were.

    “I—. Yes, Vienas.”

    “Better.” She leaned against him. “I’m still cold.”

    He wrapped an arm around her and they both faced the Everflame, warm at last.

    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Ahh this is sweet!! This juxtaposition between the mundane and the divine is fun to read about.

      Did Vienas make the everflame with a spell, or has it been sitting in the temple for a long time? Also, you said it was waning…does that mean that the fact that the gods have left is causing a, supposedly eternal, flame to wane?

      “She felt his arm rise and fall in a shrug. “It’s a fire.””–Haha, this is cute.

      “And the shovel?”
      “The iron glowed white, but it went back to normal.”–I was confused about this…

      “She nodded. If their situation weren’t so bleak, so incomprehensible, she might have laughed at the thought of collecting temple relics to keep peasants warm. Divine gifts should be used though.”–Again, this juxtaposition between the mundane and the divine that I love! And this idea of “divine gifts shouldn’t be used on lowly peasants…but they should be *used*” is also an interesting idea. Also, does “peasants” just refer to Vienas and Padas, or does this word refer to other peasants still alive too?

      “She knew he was unnerved by the empty temples.”–Ooh, now this is really intriguing!!

      “He nodded. It was strange. She could feel the tension and shift in his arm, but not see his frown. She wondered how she knew he was frowning; if she would ever grow accustomed to not seeing; if he would ever relax around her.
      ….She didn’t look up at him. She’d started keeping her eyes closed. She wanted him to be at ease.”
      ….Nor can I read, she thought. It was the worst part of her blindness.”–Love all this. You’re so good at grounding us in her perspective with all these sensory details. Plus I love me some angst XD Also her keeping her eyes closed for him is sweet and sad at the same time.
      Still, poor Vienas. It seems like she really hates feeling useless.

      “Vienas!” She snapped. “You’ll call me by my name.”–I like this interspersion of emotion!!
      …But I’m also confused by the line itself to be honest. Does this scene occur earlier in the story than some of the other ones you’ve written? In your “Given a New Name” story you revealed she was pregnant, (by Padas, as far as I could tell). And since she could feel the baby kicking I believe that’s around…. 3 months? (My apologies if I’m getting too technical on you XD) So I’m confused as to how they’re not on a first name basis if this occurs after that scene, haha!

      “I’m still cold.” He wrapped an arm around her and they both faced the Everflame, warm at last.”–awwwwww

      P.S. Yes I did go and read your other stories (and left reviews for you on them) AND THEY’RE FREAKING AMAZING AHHHHHH YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD WRITER

      1. RVMPLSTLSKN Avatar
        RVMPLSTLSKN

        Thank you so much!

        Here’s the secret: I’m not writing their tale in chronological order. Rather, I’m using the prompts to highlight moments in their lives. So, this moment is the day before I Left You Something, a little while after None Left, and years before Given a New Name.

        Vienas was left blind, so sensory details are pretty much the only way to describe her viewpoint while maintaining the narrative perspective (third limited).

        The details:
        The Everflame is a relic of another god’s invention.
        Iron glows white before it melts (red, orange, yellow, white, then liquid). The implication here is that the Everflame burns hot despite being just a ball of fire.
        ‘Peasants’ and ‘the empty temples’ are references to the former caste system.

        Thanks again! Hopefully it makes a bit more sense to you now.

        1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
          i-prefer-the-term-antihero

          <3

          Ahh that makes more sense!!

          Oh of course!! I meant it as a compliment!! Sensory details are some of my favorite things to come across while reading. Sometimes less skilled writers aren’t as good at sensory details, (and sometimes even skilled writers will forget them), so on occasion I’ll read something like this and it won’t feel as grounded in the blind persons perspective, if that makes sense. But I feel super grounded in her perspective when I read this, and I love it, and it shows your skill!!

          All that makes sense!! Thank you!! 😀

  27. Three Lone Heroes (Darkspell Universe)
    By Alex Nightingale (aka Spectre)/Looked over by Calliope Rannis

    The pale azure eyes of the demon stung into her soul, as the Nightguard took up a fighting stance again. She breathed deep, trying to calm herself down. She was in control. Long sharp claws swung in her direction. She leapt into the air, landing on the office ceiling. She backed away, closer to the large window.

    She shivered. It was cold, incredibly cold. The windows were misting up. Frost formed on pot plants. The air smelled of ozone. The demon possessing a corpse closed in slowly, its fanged mouth forming a smile.

    “Oh, little dreamer. So mighty and yet so scared. You shouldn’t have faced me alone.”

    “I’m not alone,” the Nightguard hissed.

    “You really should not have taken a dead host. It makes this so much easier,” said Max Zwickau, stepping out of the Darkness, a ball of flame in his hand.

    Before the demon could do anything, Max threw a handful of herbs into the creature’s face. The Nighguard showered the demon in petrol from a hip-flask. Max flung the flame.

    The demon shrieked, as fire covered it. The smell of ozone mixed with the stench of burning flesh. Max held his hands outstretched, an orange glow emanating from them. Icy wind bit into her. Max’s teeth began to chatter in tandem with hers. She felt the cold bite her eyes through her blindfold.

    “Burn me! You dare burn me, exorcist! I am the winter!”

    “You’re a pathetic footsoldier,” Max replied, though she noticed him straining.

    A shot rang out. A bullet whizzed past her and hit the demon in the head. It didn’t kill him, but dropped his focus for just a second; a second, Max exploited. The fire erupted in an inferno. The demon screamed loudly and crumpled to the floor in a burning heap. By the fire, the Nighguard and Max were joined by Lilith Aerenhardt, the golem and monster hunter. All three stood there, watching the demon burn. All three expressions were grim.

    When they left, one by one, they silently promised to hold onto each other’s phone numbers.

    1. This is an interesting premise. Heroes fighting the demons of darkness and cold, and returning to normal lives after the battles are won. Shades of Supernatural, but it’s more like a duty than a job.

      Fighting the forces of winter that are also the forces of evil? You got yourself the seed of a Netflix series right there.

    2. Connor A. Avatar
      Connor A.

      I really loved this piece! Your handling of these guys’ different abilities in a fight was fascinating, and it tied into the prompt in a way I did not expect. I did notice that you changed the demon’s pronouns a bit during the story; was that intentional? I can’t wait to see more of these characters.

    3. KipOfTheMany Avatar
      KipOfTheMany

      I love the conisidental cooperation here. A moment that could have been, “I’m in over my head,” for any one of these three is made easier by the presence of the other two. And despite the absence of any dialouge between the heros, you get the sense that this is the beginning of a team, espesially because of the last sentence.

  28. Calliope Rannis Avatar
    Calliope Rannis

    A Quiet Moment (Nyssa’s Story)
    By Calliope Rannis

    As the campfire surged into life, Nyssa finally let herself relax. Shrugging off her heavy backpack, she sank backwards onto the soft earth, trying to find a comfy way to sit despite her aches and pains. Some of that was just the aftermath of fatigue and strain, but the dungeon they had fought within for the past two days had left deeper marks on her too.

    She pulled up the left sleeve of her robes, carefully stroking the blackened slash-scar on her shoulder. The healing magic of her friends (Can she call them that? Her friends? Do her fellow party members really see her that way?) had sealed up the wound, but the mark left behind by the Shadow Assassin’s amorphous dagger would not easily fade. Nyssa was used to numb skin, most of her body had felt that way ever since the Storm, but the numbness around the dark scar felt deeper and colder. It didn’t tingle or twinge at her touch, but instead felt like nothing at all, not even pain. She hoped that time alone would be enough to reverse the damage.

    Pulling up her right sleeve, she winced. She still didn’t like to look at it, even after healing and over a day later. This arm was completely riven with marks of teeth and tearing – the result of sticking it right into a mimic’s maw. The limb was still warm with residual pain, and it was a little difficult to open and close her hand properly. But at least this damage was purely physical. She just had to wait, and all that ugliness would eventually shrink away.

    Nyssa pulled her sleeves down and looked up again, to see her party beginning to gather round the cheerful fire. Rosewin, Vagrant and Alex, Dante (she still needed to apologise to him), Astiroth, Agama (Meh too, maybe?), even Ace was fitting right in like he’d known them all for months… she still didn’t believe that she had gotten so lucky. That they counted on her, and her on them. A bond beyond just convenience.

    She hoped it would last.

    1. I absolutely love scenes like this one. Especially when there’s a supernatural element. Healing is a great power that does make sense in the setting but it can so easily take away the stakes when you can just, poof, all better all of the damage.

      I love the time you put into just how scarred both in and out that Nyssa is after the dungeon. You barely even had to go into what was in the dungeon just because of all of the damage she clearly suffered in it, and that’s with the healing.

      I also really liked the dabbling with did with how she wasn’t sure if her companions were friends or not. It was enough to bring out a genuine smile at the end of the story. Well done!

    2. Connor A. Avatar
      Connor A.

      I’m glad Nyssa finally got some semblance of a break. The quiet reflection approach you took with this prompt was interesting; it gives readers the chance to see what Nyssa thinks about in her downtime. I will mention that “surged into life” should probably be “surged to life,” but other than that there aren’t too many errors that I could find.

  29. Who screamed like that? It wasn’t me. I don’t know what you’re talking about…
    By Marx

    “Huh…” Matt grunted as he looked at the statue. The fire in front of it caught his attention. He wondered which of his companions lit it or if it was some magical thing that was always lit. He was still trying to figure this whole supernatural situation out.

    Regardless, the fire did make the statue that much more striking and for a while he couldn’t look away.

    “She’s so beautiful…” He muttered to himself.

    “Thank you.”

    Matt unleashed an embarrassingly high-pitched scream that he’d forever leave out of retellings of this first meeting. Once his breathing returned to normal, he could finally acknowledge the voice that came from behind him. “W-who are you?”

    Ethereal was the best description for the woman who answered. Everything from her hair to her elegant clothing were in shades of gray. “I am Teriana. Goddess of the harvest. …more or less…”

    Matt understood the ‘more or less’ when he remembered he was apparently in the Temple of the Forgotten Goddess. Looking back at the fire-lit statue, he could easily see the resemblance. “Hi. I’m Matt. Me and my friends apparently… pissed off Heaven and we were hoping to hide here. I was told this place was nearly impossible to find.”

    “Like me, it both exists and… doesn’t…” Teriana answered. “You may stay. But please respect the artifacts in my temple. They’re all that keep me alive.”

    “Of course.” Matt nodded, but as Teriana began to leave, he called back. “Why are you forgotten?”

    “My followers were given a choice. Deny me for another religion or death. Either choice had the same result.”

    “I’m sorry.” Matt apologized, practically feeling her loneliness. “I was never a religious person. And that was before angels wanted me dead. So… for what it’s worth, I acknowledge you.”

    Teriana’s eyes bulged in surprise. “Do you mock me?”

    “Not at all.” Matt replied, doing his best to give a respectful bow. “Oh, great Teriana, goddess of the harvest. I won’t forget you.”

    Teriana was the first goddess Matt had ever met. She was the first goddess to hug him as well.

    1. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      Awwwwwwwwww. :3 I guess this is also why Teriana politely doesn’t mention the high-pitched scream to everyone who mentions Matt either – he was a real sweetheart to her, and I’m sure that mattered more to her than he could have ever known. Kinda like him naming Nora, actually. XD

      Having her be all in grey is very fitting too – she’s basically the ghost of a god, the shade of her former self. I have to wonder though, did Matt acknowledging her restore some of the substance or colour she once had? After all, it’s the exact kinda stuff that sustains her existance, after all. In any case, it was enough for her to hug him, which I found completely precious and adorable. And the wording of ‘first goddess to hug him as well’ strongly implies that his wholesomeness will continue beyond this meeting for many other godesses too. <3

      Finally, the lore you have given me with this new story is intriguing indeed. A antagonist of heaven itself? I guess that's why he's teamed up with the likes of Lillith for sure. I wonder exactly what other 'companions' he's picked up at this point in the story? In any case, great work here Marx, I really enjoyed this one and was very happy to see Teriana again! 😀

      1. Lol I was curious if anyone would remember her from the previous stories. And yes, Matt acknowledging Teriana most definitely meant the world to her. His genuine kindness is usually the tether he has with most of his allies.

        Interestingly enough, while Matt’s acknowledgement does help somewhat, it’s human belief that powers deities and Matt is not human. But that said Teriana does get her color back in the very near future when she becomes his third familiar. I’ve probably had one prompt so far after that point where Teri has a speaking part and even
        then she wasn’t the focus.

        But you did hit it right on the money that Teriana is not going to be the only deity that Matt connects with enough to get an appreciative hug from them. Hopefully I’ll be able to get into some of those too in future prompts. As well as exactly why Heaven was after him so much lol. Thank you so much for the review! It is very appreciated!

    2. KipOfTheMany Avatar
      KipOfTheMany

      This is so sweet! I love how human Teriana is. I mean, she’s a goddess, and it shows, but she is also lonely, and desperate, and in the end, happy. If I had one critique, it would be push that angle futher. Instead of, “practically feeling her loneliness”, try “her shoulders slumped, and he could tell she was trying to foget that choice.”

      1. Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed the story so much! Teriana is a pretty interesting character, even though usually her emotions are a little more muted. Lol and thanks for the critique. I did want more detail there but I just ran out of words.

    3. This was so super dumb and sweet and I love it.

      The screaming part is just amazing because it seems so natural and yet so ridiculous at the same time. Not really sure where this all fits at the same time. I feel like we’ve been here before, but it also feels like it takes place right after the Swirling Ashes prompt.

      I love that they set up camp without meeting her. Did she hide? But she becomes part of their group, yeah?

      Anyway, the ending was great and the start was amusing. Good story.

      1. Thank you so much! Dumb and sweet was very much the intention! The funny thing about the screaming bit is that it isn’t in the original story. In the original, Matt and Mara were talking, so when Teri showed up it wasn’t as jostling. But with Matt just being alone in the quiet of the room, I couldn’t see him not screaming when she just appeared behind him like that lol.

        As for where she was, it was kind of a she’s everywhere in the temple at once and only made a form when it was necessary type situation. Matt complimenting her statue, along with her wanting to make sure none of his group messed anything up merited it. She does join his group though as the fourth horseman, you are correct.

        As for the timeline…

        1. Hello Future Me – Teriana contemplates her time alone in the temple(she’s alone in this temple for quite awhile)
        2. Better The Devil You Know – Laila meets Matt
        3. Anything for a Smile – Matt takes Mara as a familiar. Laila isn’t happy.
        4. The Things Left Behind – Mara defends Matt against an archangel(Bartleby)
        5. So That’s How it Works – Death recaps everything and does not like Lynette joining the group
        6. By The Fire – While hiding from Heaven, Matt meets Teriana
        7. Swirling Ashes – Lynette betrays the group and Mara takes care of business
        8. I Don’t Belong Here – Death and Lynette have a heart to heart. Doesn’t go well.
        9. Here Be Dragons – Fallen angels discuss Matt and his familiars’ heroic actions
        10. Beware Empty Spaces – Bartleby recruits “Nora” to help get back into Matt’s good graces
        11. Given a Name – Matt names “Nora”
        12. I Left You Something – Nora accepts the name
        13. Heavy Is The Crown – Matt meets Bob
        14. My Dearest Enemy – Daisy reflects on her time with Alex
        15. None Left – Will learns of what Daisy has done for Alex
        16. A Reckless Decision – Shayna asks Matt to help her defeat Alex
        17. The Beast Behind the Eyes – Alex leverages Shayna as a bargaining chip
        18. Mother of Monsters – Matt asks Lilith for help with Alex
        19. It’s Quiet Here – A beaten down Matt goes to Death as a last resort

        Lol you are welcome.

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