Writing Group: I Swore an Oath (PRIVATE)

Hello, Oath Takers and Deal Breakers.

Do you know what you’re doing? This isn’t something to be taken lightly. Once you say those words, you can’t take them back. And words can be light as thread or heavy as chains. If you’re absolutely sure, then place one hand over your heart, because…

This week’s Writing Group prompt is:

I Swore an Oath

RULES AND GUIDELINES BELOW!
Make sure you scroll down and read them if you haven’t! You may not be eligible if you don’t!

A lot of people will tell you that an oath is just a really strong, really important promise. They’re not wrong, but… they’re not entirely correct either. An oath is something much more binding, spoken word pertaining to something sacred, or at least thought highly important.

Whether that thing is sacred to everyone, a group, or even an individual is up to you. It can be a knight swearing an oath to protect an entire kingdom, or swearing to protect the next in line for the kingdom’s throne. It can be a guardian who’s sworn to protect some child with magic that no one knows about. Perhaps a newly appointed Druid has just fulfilled the vows she was required to see through in order to join a higher council. Or even just two children who don’t entirely know what the word “oath” means, but swearing nonetheless to be friends forever.

And what happens when oaths are broken? Well, it depends on what was promised. After all, not all oaths are good ones. Your life was saved, and so you’ve sworn to this savior that you’re forever in their debt, but you didn’t realize just what that meant this savior would make you do. Or maybe some witch has sworn to dark forces to do their dirty work in ways they can’t, but she fails to carry out an order for whatever reason. What happens to her power? Her mind? Maybe even her very existence? Consequences can be anything from being banned from the tree house for ten minutes to having one’s soul collected.

It really all depends on who made what oath, to whom the oath is sworn to, and the intentions behind it, whether known to the oath taker or not.

So get your sacred artifacts and make your deals, but do be careful. Breaking an oath can have… unpredictable consequences.

—Shawna

Remember, this is part of our weekly Writing Group stream! Submit a little piece following the rules and guidelines below, and there’s a chance your entry will be read live on stream! In addition, we’ll discuss it for a minute and give you some feedback.

Tune into the stream this Saturday at 7:00pm CST to see if you made the cut!

The whole purpose of this is to show off the creativity of the community, while also helping each other to become better writers. Lean into that spirit, and get ready to help each other improve their confidence in their writing, as well as their skill with their craft!

Rules and Guidelines

We read at least four stories during each stream, two of which come from the public post, and two of which come from the much smaller private post. Submissions are randomly selected by a bot, but likes on your post will improve your chances of selection, so be sure to share your submission on social media!

  1. Text and Formatting

    1. English only.
    2. Prose only, no poetry or lyrics.
    3. Use proper spelling, grammar, and syntax.
    4. Your piece must be between 250-350 words (you can use this website to see your wordcount).
    5. Include a submission title and an author name (doesn’t have to be your real name). Do not include any additional symbols or flourishes in this part of your submission. Format them exactly as you see in this example, or your submission may not be eligible: Example Submission.
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  2. What to Submit

    1. Keep submissions “safe-for-work”; be sparing with sexuality, violence, and profanity.
    2. Try to focus on making your submission a single meaningful moment rather than an entire story.
    3. Write something brand new (no re-submitting past entries or pieces written for other purposes
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  3. Submission Rules

    1. One submission per participant.
    2. Submit your entry in a comment on this post.
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Comments on this post that aren’t submissions will be deleted, except for replies/reviews left on existing submissions.


Comments

40 responses to “Writing Group: I Swore an Oath (PRIVATE)”

  1. WolfsbaneX Avatar
    WolfsbaneX

    “The Legacy Oath”
    By Hemming Sebastian Bane

    I never signed up for this crazy alchemy stuff. But if I wanted to get into the family business, I need the Lanciocchis’ and the Maruaries’ approval. So, I gotta do what they say. But they both brought their daughters and a buncha candles to the warehouse. I didn’ like where this is going. But to be a proper Divy, I gotta do it.

    The Lanciocchi daughter, a gorgeous undine with sea-green skin, approached first. She nodded at me and then the Maruary girl came over. Smokin’ hot troll babe. We just stood and took each other in before getting into a triangle with candles at the points. Then, the ritual began.

    “Oh, sky above,” Maruary bellowed, “Bear testament to the renewal of oaths!”

    “Oh, earth below,” Lanciocchi said. “Awaken, and hear our words!”

    “Oh sea afar,” I said. “Acknowledge us not. This oath was forged of stars and stones, of hosts and worms, of aether and bones.”

    Then Lanciocchi took the knife out, a brass weapon with a wicked hook. Yeah, the one you picked up. She took that and drew the edge against her palms in the shape of an X.

    “Hear us, sky!” Lanciocchi cried. “Our fearful cries and screams of anguish.”

    Then, she squeezed some blood into a crystal jar and passed the blade to me. I could tell by the look in her eyes she was enjoying this. Spooked me a little. But there was no time to be scared. I had to do it. Otherwise, I’d be out. So, I did the same.

    “Taste of us, earth!” I said. “Our blood and sweat, ephemeral.”

    I added my blood to the jar and quickly passed it to Maruary. It felt like she took forever taking it. But she took it and did the same, too. Lanciocchi passed her a clear liquid.

    “Feel us, sea!” Maruary said. “Embrace your children, oh mother!”

    She added her blood and the liquid to the jar. Suddenly, the mixture went black. The ritual was successful. Dunno what it did, don’ care as long as it doesn’t get in my way.

    1. DesOttsel Avatar
      DesOttsel

      I know what you were going for with the voice, but I feel like parts of it could have been cut because they didn’t add a lot, like describing the knife, and instead be used to describe what is going on. I felt lost. He doesn’t know what the ritual is, but he knows the words and his role. Did the girls tell him that? What are their families’ roles? Why are they so influential to bar him from his family business?

      There’s just too much left unsaid for me that all the stuff used for flavor ended up being distracting.

  2. Cansas Wanderlust Avatar
    Cansas Wanderlust

    Blood Brother
    By Cansas Wanderlust

    The room was small—walls of mossy cobblestone. The air was wet and smelled of mud. Dakarai slowly regained consciousness. He tried to sit up and cursed when he discovered thick leather cuffs around his wrists, ankles, and chest, binding him to what felt like a metal table.

    “Damn.”

    He’d known the risk, but he couldn’t stand by while these monsters took his mother. He promised to come back to her while the gundulves were dragging him away. The look in her eyes would haunt him forever. Still, this was best. He’d gotten out of many tight spots since joining the Crimson Rangers. He was sure it was him they wanted anyway.

    The wooden door creaked open. A tall man appeared, white hair swaying as he shut the door.

    “Now this is a surprise,” Dakarai said. “To what do I owe the pleasure, great lord Malacom?”

    “Don’t flatter yourself,” Malacom said flatly. “I’m only interested in the knowledge you possess.”

    “If you wanted to know the best taverns, you only needed to ask.”

    The ranger chuckled but Malacom stayed neutral.
    .
    Dakarai sighed. “What do you want?”

    “You know what I want.”

    “Always so cryptic, Malacom,” Dakarai gave a playful smirk.

    A hint of annoyance flashed in Malacom’s blue eyes. “I want the location of the one called Stranger.”

    “Str-stran-ger. Odd name. Can’t say I know a stranger. Everyone I know is either a friend or an enemy. Now there is a boy who plays his lute for the street cats, and he is a strange fellow.”

    “I don’t have time for your games,” Malacom said, turning on his heel.

    A moment after Malacom left, a young woman entered. Beads of iron decorated her blood-red hair. Dakarai recognized her at once as the ulven shadow, Dale Lykrus.

    “Where is Stranger?” Her voice was sharp as a razor.

    Dakarai closed his eyes and whispered, “I’m sorry mama. I break my promise to you so that I can keep my promise to my blood brother.”

    The ranger opened his eyes, and said with a smile, “not a clue, my lady.”

    1. DesOttsel Avatar
      DesOttsel

      This is almost really good. Dakarai has a bunch of personality, and his moral dilemma is good. However, the other characters don’t play off of him. Malacom’s responses are pretty flat. I would have liked to see a little more emotion or animation in his responses instead of everything being so direct.

      If dialogue is a tennis match, Dakarai is practicing against a wall. Still a fun story though.

  3. Swearing Allegiance
    By MasaCur

    Cassidy Markham knocked on the door to Marcus Reid’s office.

    “Come in,” he called.

    Cassidy entered the office and stood at attention. “You called for me, guv?”

    Reid smiled, almost a smirk. “Well, I have the results from your field training. Your instructor informed me that you were among the best to ever attend the course in terms of marksmanship and physical conditioning.”

    Cassidy tried to keep her smile from breaking into a full-blown grin. “Thank you, guv.”

    “Your literacy was a little low. I’m sure Doyle can help you bring that up to speed. Your class work was still rated above average.”

    Cassidy nodded. “Understandable. Knowing my letters wasn’t that important when I was in the army. I will try my best.”

    “I’m sure you will, Markham. I’m sure you will.” He stood up from behind his desk and opened a drawer. From it he took a bible. “Time to make this official.”

    “Well, I did fill out all the paperwork. I mean, with Doyle’s help, of course.”

    “Yes, yes. Your paperwork is fine, Markham,” Reid replied. “You need to take your oath to the Crown.”

    Cassidy’s mouth slowly opened, fighting to find the words. “I took an oath when I joined the army.”

    “And this will be much the same thing, Markham. It’s mostly a formality.”

    Cassidy shook her head. “But I’m still technically bound by that oath, aren’t I?”

    Reid frowned. “You’re not in the army anymore. You were discharged when they found out you were a woman. This is a different service to the crown, and even if you meant it in your heart and soul, you did give the oath under a false name.”

    Cassidy sighed. “I suppose so, Guv.”

    “Now, let’s get this over with, and then toast your time with the Bureau.” He grabbed the bible and held it out to her. “Place your hand on the bible and repeat after me.”

    Cassidy reached forward, and laid her left hand on the bible. Her right hand rested on her chest above her heart.

    “I, state your name…”

    “I, Cassidy Rebecca Markham…”

    1. jesse fisher Avatar
      jesse fisher

      Casual historical sexism, love that touch Masa. Also like the fact we have a MC that has already broken an oath but not because they saw issue with the oath. Also felt like I was sitting in on the the whole conversation and Cassidy seems like such a sweet girl that will break your arms if you hurt her.

  4. Twangyflame0 Avatar
    Twangyflame0

    A Purpose
    By Twangyflame0

    She coughed up blood as the acrid smell of ash filled her nose. She pushed herself up with her sword, looking around her. The balefire blazed as the dead shambled about with tactical precision. This was a catastrophe the goddess wouldn’t, that she wouldn’t allow.

    She stared up at the creature before her. She had once heard that it was human, but she knew better than to allow those heresies to fester in her mind. She could make out the vaguely humanoid form by the bony carapace holding the creature’s slick, dark form. It was disgusting, something not of this plane, something that should be destroyed utterly in holy fire.

    She held up her shield and pointed her sword at the horror. She began to chant the litanies she had been taught since her childhood. The words had been beaten into her, all disgrace annihilated, all her imperfection eradicated. She was a servant to the goddess and she would serve till death. She would not be made a mockery of.

    She screamed and charged forward, sword flashing with the light of the surrounding fires. She blocked a blast of dark magic with her shield. She dove forward. She only needed one chance to skewer this creature and in the name of the Goddess she shall!

    The warrior woman’s corpse shambled with the rest of the procession. Her body was hardy and good armor. She would break through the battleline once the useless corpses of peasants had been destroyed. She would skewer those that had prayed to her goddess and would do so at the flick of the wrist.

    The “horror” she had so adamantly hunted watched his dread legion with a cold visage. Slowly, he commanded his legion to rest for the day and to bury themselves in the ground. It was also better to travel at night.

    Once his congregation had completed their orders, he removed the mask that held his face. William Bracus looked out into the countryside and reminded himself of his quest for vengeance against the people of this land. All for his lost love…

    1. Ooof! That’s heartbreaking. The woman warrior not merely struck down, but to have her form twisted into what she opposed.
      I somehow suspected that William/Thanatos (I think. I swear I always have this problem when I remember what Death God name William takes on) was involved in this one. The action was pretty well written for this. You did a good job at defining the stakes for the woman warrior. I liked this, Twangy.

  5. jesse fisher Avatar
    jesse fisher

    A Day’s Work
    By Jesse Fisher

    The sound of a shuttering door punctuated by the clicking of the latch into the lock jamb. Jelly legs nearly gave out from under him after his journey started long before the sun cracked the darkness of the night.

    After waking from a near dreamless sleep he looked to his clock and wanted to roll over to the silence of the non-waking world. His mind prevented this and with a groan he got up and dressed. A backpack and jacket awaited the start of the next step of the routine. Checking the report would determine whether it was a bundle or just one layer type of day.

    Fifteen minutes of cycle travel and a change to the uniform in the pack, the real fun starts. Five hours of lifting and moving items begin to wear him down. Hour one was the roughest as it was the setup and he could not know if something had been misplaced or used up before he got there. That was a pain to deal with.

    Then hours two and three meant dealing with the heated items. Normally it would be fine, but one of the gloves was a size too small and it was not as well rated for this type of heat.

    Fourth and fifth hours were the easiest as cleanup was much quicker and least taxing. Just breaking down empty boxes and waste to take out. A break followed this with a moment’s reprieve from all the crazy of the past hours.

    Only an hour reminded before he could leave, and that gave him a bit of pep. This would be the outdoor potion and it was less than fun. His back ached as he moved to change back to this morning’s clothes.

    —-

    Here he slumped as he fell to his knees, dull pains came from most of his body. Before he just fell face first to the ground.

    “Damn my word being my promise.” He spoke aloud to a room as silent as day outside.

    1. RVMPLSTLSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLSKN

      “Jelly legs” or “Jellied legs” or “Jelly’s legs”? Something about that sentence seemed off.

      This piece struck me as vague, almost like there’s context missing. I understand he made a deal and regrets it, but that’s about it. I don’t understand the what if the piece, just why and how.

      That said, it’s well written. Aside from the one sentence noted, I didn’t see anything amiss. Good work!

      1. jesse fisher Avatar
        jesse fisher

        thanks, and ya context is more just how work has been for me.

  6. A Teacher In Search… (Collab with Matthew (Handsome Johanson))
    By Giovanna J. Fuller

    “Ssssssssssssigh…..” I slithered dejectedly across the green grass of the quad. My books and handy laser pointer left behind in my classroom, I was free to move. Unseen by the students cramming for finals. It was quite a strange sight to see a snake pull a bag of books along the ground. No one had quite gotten used to it.

    The year had been a disaster.

    I had started the semester with high hopes and, perhaps, a little too high of expectations. My first class, a senior class, had ended with all the students screaming, a few, fainting, and one chair being thrown at my head.

    Flattening out the upper half of my noodle body hadn’t helped at all. They had just called me a cobra and I was left with an empty room. All of them dropped my class.

    This happened to all four classes I had been assigned and that youthful vigor to fill the minds of young college students with fascinating facts about my scaled brethren had dulled to despair. I was a failure of a teacher. What was the point of taking this position if I couldn’t even do my job?

    “Sssssssssssigh….” I found a nice sunny patch of earth and curled up, resting my upturned snout on my coiled body.

    I was just as knowledgeable about herpetology as the large, fleshy, bipedal humans.

    I was just as eager to teach as a green professor.

    If only I had the chance to prove myself.

    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

    I turned my head in the direction of the dismayed cry. The distinct cry of someone overwhelmed with the burden of studying. A small sprout of hope rising in my chest.

    “Did ssssssomebody ssssay ‘aaaa?’”

    1. RVMPLSTLSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLSKN

      This is an adorable and hopeful piece. I find the decision to use a serpent instead a more mythic creature, such as a dragon or naga, interesting. It gives a particularly childlike feel to the piece, almost like lowering the stakes and making the character more grounded (pun unintended) in the real.

      I’m curious; why herpetology instead of herpepsychology?

      Good job, GJ!

  7. Matthew (Handsome Johanson) Avatar
    Matthew (Handsome Johanson)

    A new Tutor (Collab with GJ Fuller!)
    by Matthew (Handsome Johanson)

    It was a quiet cool day at the park.

    Green bushes swayed in the gentle breeze, old trees shown in vibrant colors of green and brown, and white puffy clouds shielded me from the bright yellow sun that illuminated the day. All of this lay in stark contrast to the eldritch storm of endless misery and torment that populated my mind.

    The weight of the situation had donned on me and had tore a deep hole into my mental state. I had only twenty-four hours left to study for the final exam of my Herpetology class. The test covered everything we had gone through in class, but nothing stuck. Facts about how certain reptiles reproduce, the interesting way some snakes give live birth, the intricacies of how poisonous frogs get poisonous, I could remember none of it.

    I sighed and carefully set my flashcards down. I took a few deep breaths.

    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

    When I had finished screaming, I picked up the flash cards and once again tried to cram in the information necessary to get a good grade.

    “Did ssssssomebody ssssay ‘aaaa?’”

    I turned and saw what looked like a, um, western hognose? No, those are called plains hognoses now. Wait, a plains hognose talked to me?

    I went to say something, but the slithery boy spoke first in a breathy voice. “Yes, I know. Isn’t it amazing that I’m talking? But we have more important matters to attend to, don’t we?”

    The snake seemed to gesture to my notes.

    “Y-yeah. I-I’ve got a test coming up…”

    The snake continued. “Aren’t you lucky, then? I’m a bit of an expert in Herpetology.”

    I laughed a bit. “Cause you are a snake?”

    “No, my doctoral thessiss wass on herpetology and herpetological presssservation tacticssss.”

    “O-oh. sorry”

    “Ssssssseriously, what doessss a sssnake gotta do to get sssome recognition around here?” The snake sighed and slithered to me.

    “Here’ssss the deal, I tutor you on Herpetology, and you do me a favor of my choossssing.”

    I considered it for a while, before shouting “yes!” and accepting the deal.

    What’s the worst that could happen?

    1. RVMPLSTLSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLSKN

      I’m a sucker for devilish deals. This is a stark contrast to GJ’s piece wherein Hognose is in a low place. Here he’s a snake in the grass with all the power. I like it.

      Some nitpicks:
      I didn’t realise it was a two-parter until I read it. GJ may need to adjust her title.
      “Donned” should be “dawned”; the character isn’t being worn psychically.
      The first word in a new piece of dialogue should be capitalized, e.g. “yes!” to “Yes!” despite being part of a greater sentence.
      When a character acts between speaking, it’s not necessary to break the paragraph. This is more of a judgment call though and I think in this case it was the right call to break it up.

      Great work, Handsome!

  8. Laribhaven Avatar
    Laribhaven

    Promises
    By: Larissa (Lari B. Haven)

    He still recalled vividly their last hurrah, drunkenly walking the boulevards of Paris after their graduation, talking about the things they wished to do back home.

    Stumbling in his own feet, Albert landed face first onto the pavement. They were so wasted that Leonard just dragged him to a marquee and laid him down on his lap until he felt well enough to get up.

    Albert was pitching some jokes at his own expense while Leonard attended his wounds. They laugh, but Leonard seemed to force himself to laugh.

    “Something it’s bothering you, isn’t it?” He lifted his head and looked into his friend’s eyes, capturing his nebulous thoughts.

    Leonard debated with himself for a minute, but couldn’t lie to his best friend:

    “I’m afraid, Albert. We’re making our oaths in a week. It will be real this time… What if I’m not a good enough doctor?”

    “You’re being a great doctor right now and I’m honored to be your patient.” Albert smirked.

    Leonard was not entertained.

    “We’re men. Our choices in the hospital ward will inevitably be final, Albert. I don’t want to mess up.”

    “All we do is final. Life is final.” Albert put his hands on Leonard’s shoulders and smiled. “If you trust in yourself that it will pay off, everything will be worth it.”

    Leonard looked away for a moment. Albert knew his colleague could put on a tough facade, but he was always insecure about himself.

    “If you ever feel you are uncertain about something, I will be there for you.” Albert held his friend’s hands together and proclaimed: “This is a promise, better yet, an oath above any other my friend. No choice will be hard enough for us to not take together.”

    Leonard was flustered but couldn’t say anything. All his anxieties washed away.

    They watched the silent streets getting ready for another morning. All the bohemians marched home while they kept in the moment, feeling something indistinguishable, but earnest.

    As they silently accepted that promise, the future seemed less scary.

    1. Insania404 Avatar
      Insania404

      This is a great take on the prompt! Swearing an oath that they will take their oaths together as friends for all time. I really like the relationship between the two friends. The dialog works to let the reader know that they have clearly been friends for a long time and that they know each other completely.

      I especially like that even though Albert is completely drunk, he’s still able to consol Leonard while he tends to his wounds. It’s really cool to see Leonard healing physical wounds while Albert heals the mental and emotional wounds of Leonard. It’s a really sweet scene.

  9. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
    i-prefer-the-term-antihero

    [Removed]

    1. Glaceon373 Avatar
      Glaceon373

      …wow. Just, wow. Very awesome story, very emotional, and…wow.
      In terms of writing things, I really like your usage of short sentences and paragraphs. The repetition, and the building on the repetition, also adds emphasis to your narrator’s emotions. This guy deserves all the hugs and support and warm cups of tea. Overall, Antihero, very emotional piece. Great job!

  10. IsaDragon Avatar
    IsaDragon

    She ate his heart, and his corpse still wanders. (North Cendralia Cultists)
    By IsaDragon

    Jackson sighed, watching glassy-blue cubes fall from the sky.

    He pushed up his sleeves, exposing thick black tendrils down his arms. He opened a battered flip phone, and let it ring.

    “Katarina, I’m going to be late to our date tonight.” Jackson eyed the mammoth cube crawling from the crater in front of him.

    “Wha—”

    “Not by long. 15 minutes.”

    “Earth is being invaded, and your concern is—”

    “I’m working on it.” He snapped the phone shut.

    Jackson adjusted his stance as the machine scuttled closer. He exhaled.

    Jackson could not fly. He could, as a full grown hound of death, ignore the rules of life. Like, say, maximum speed without damage to soft tissue. One of the blessings of being technically undead.

    He hit the invader like the broad side of a mountain, compressed to a person-sized point of devastation.

    When the invader slid to a stop, Jackson threw his head back and howled.

    A stilled heartbeat has a distinct sound to it. Since his adoption by the Great Hound, Guardian of the Catacombs Below, he had learned many types and flavors of silence. This one was a deeper shade of silence than the one he learned from his first foul rituals, when he first blackened and stilled his heart. This was a lack of noise he had learned when he chose The Queen, and she accepted.

    The sound of where-there-was-once-life ripped the hull plating like tissue paper.

    The silence echoed, and with it rose the shadows of fallen hounds, sworn in life, death, and after. His siblings, his ancestors, called to join the Hunt.

    From his perch atop his conquered cube, Jackson felt a solar bombardment hit Northside, and snorted. Etheric Masters, always so flashy. He squinted at the sky, where the atmosphere had turned sharp, shredding those ships that had started attempting to flee. He had no liking for Tech-mages, but they were efficient…when they weren’t invading hell.

    Finally he spotted a red, fleshy maw roaring challenge. He set off at a lope. It wouldn’t do to keep Katarina waiting, and… drat, he wrinkled his shirt.

    1. Insania404 Avatar
      Insania404

      I’m unfamiliar with this universe, but from what I can see, it’s quite a ride. We’ve got sentient cubes intent on destroying the planet being fended off by undead hound humans, tech mages, The Queen, the Great Hound, Guardian of the Catacombs Below, and Etheric Masters. I’m excited to learn the true nature of all these proper nouns!

      Even without knowing what’s going on entirely, I can see that Jackson has a lot of personality and I’m curious to learn more about his backstory. Based on the title, I assume that Katrina is responsible for Jackson’s less-than-alive state?

    2. Twangyflame0 Avatar
      Twangyflame0

      This is a really interesting piece. My only real criticism is the amount of exposition in the fight. It sort of took me out of the fight. Don’t get me wrong, the lore was interesting, I just personally feel that it would have been more interesting somewhere else. Other than that little nit-pick, I really like the idea of looking at this invasion and only caring about his date. It’s very relatable and grounds the character in the conflict. I chuckled at the last bit. I could practically hear him groan about his shirt. In the end, very well done, Isa.

  11. Insania404 Avatar
    Insania404

    The Weight of Immortality (From Grael’s Library)
    By: Insania404

    The heavy weight thumped down each and every stair, finally coming to rest at the bottom of the basement. No one knew what I had hidden down there, not that anyone would care.

    The Madness changed everyone it consumed. I saw it cloud the minds of what used to be my neighbors, warping them mentally and physically. I was equally warped into this monstrous shell, occupied by my cracked mind.

    My footsteps creaked down the old wooden stairs to where my latest victim rested. The body was bruised, but The Judge would still be pleased to receive it, so long as I kept it in one piece. I dared not make him angry.

    I felt myself changing every day. It started with the eyes, shedding my pathetic fleshy orbs for golden pearls that revealed more than reflected light ever could. I could see the Chosen and the Lost at a glance. I saw beyond the flesh, peering into the soul.

    I knew which ones The Judge wanted, though I tried to fight it at first. He assured me they were simply delusional corpses, clinging to a life they no longer held. This understanding does not fully ease my burden, but still I do the work. Such is the Contract.

    I bear it gladly and I would do it again, knowing that my family is being cared for by the Lifelight. The Judge reminds me of that fact daily. They will never be in pain again, for they are as immortal as the Wounds.

    I am but a shadow for now, but I will join them again in time. I am changing every day, growing stronger and stranger. Will they recognize me when I see them again, or have I already been forgotten?

    I carried the body to the circle. The Judge stood there, waiting for his executioner to begin the process yet again. I started to turn away, but memories burrowed into my brain, reminding me of what I could lose. I took the glass dagger into my shadowed claws and reluctantly marked the flesh.

    Such is the Contract.

    1. RVMPLSTLSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLSKN

      This is weird one, Insania. The character has a strong voice, but it feels filtered through the need to exposit. I think it could have been improved by less exposition (though I under the need for it) and by focusing on the character’s—the Executioner’s?—internal struggle with ethics and mores and the Madness itself.

      That said, this is an intriguing opening for the next arch. We seem to be getting two new characters right away—The Judge and the VPC—as well as a couple new aspects of the setting in the Wounds and Lifelight. I’m interEsted in how closely these relate to the Library itself.

      Good job. Can’t wait to see more.

  12. Glaceon373 Avatar
    Glaceon373

    Kindness at What Cost
    by Carrie (Glaceon373)

    “It’s fine, Sophia. I promise.” Gale looked at her with pleading eyes. “This is what I live for.”

    “So what?!” Sophia slammed her fist on the nearby table. “You’re tearing yourself apart!”

    “No, I’m not. Do you see their smiles? I made them feel better.” A smile danced across his face in the dim light of Sophia’s kitchen. It never reached his eyes.

    “Sure, but it’s all I’ve ever seen you do for years! All you do is help people! Remember the first time we met? You saved Poppy from a tree.”

    “I know. I’ve never forgotten.”

    “And since then, only selfless things. You made sure I could feed myself when I got fired. When I got dumped on Valentine’s Day, you comforted me without being creepy. You even paid for Poppy’s vet bills when she broke her leg. And I know you do this for other people, too. Henry and John’s broken air conditioner, the Sanderson’s missing cat—”

    “It’s the least I can do.” He never stopped smiling. His eyes never matched his expression.

    “It’s nowhere near the least you could do! You’ve done more than anyone ever should! Ever! When are you going to take a break for yourself? Or demand to be paid back for the thousands of dollars you’ve spent on me alone? Even a fraction of it?”

    “Serving others is serving the self.”

    “Who the heck told you that?”

    He raised his right arm. A chain-like green tattoo wrapped around his wrist.

    Sophia squinted at the bracelet. “…what?”

    “I promised I would serve the world.”

    “…for, like, ever? No breaks? Not even one self-care day?”

    “Selfish acts breach the pact.”

    “Oh…” Sophia puzzled through Gale’s words. “Maybe…let me do something? For you? Just once?”

    Gale laughed. “The pact forbids rewards.”

    “Gale…you’re gonna burn yourself out. Spiral into something really scary. Please, Gale, take a break, or something!”

    His phone buzzed. “Pardon me, Sophia, but apparently someone’s pipe burst across town. I’ll deliver you those cookies tomorrow morning.” He walked to the door.

    “Gale!” she called as it slammed behind him.

    1. L. L. Marco Avatar
      L. L. Marco

      Aw man :c Gale really d0es need a break. D0ing g00d f0r s0me0ne feels g00d but if it bec0mes everything y0u ever d0, i suspect y0u’ll eventually gr0w bitter t0 it. It seems Gale’s already begun that pr0cess, based 0n his smiling with0ut meaning. There’s g0t t0 be s0me way ar0und being that way 24/7.. wh0ever is p0werful en0ugh t0 bind that 0ath sh0uld kn0w this is h0w things are. >:c

      Y0u did a really g00d j0b with the v0ice 0f the characters. I wasn’t c0nfused wh0 was speaking because they each have their individual t0nes that are distinct en0ugh y0u w0uld never have t0 specify and I c0uld tell wh0 was wh0.

      The em0ti0ns c0me thr0ugh; I felt f0r Gale while I read this piece and I feel f0r S0phia t00, as she has t0 watch her friend sl0wly c0rr0de away fr0m kindness. 0verall, a g00d read! <3

    2. Twangyflame0 Avatar
      Twangyflame0

      Oooooooooo, I really enjoy this story. And what twisted punishment for this person. To be forced to help everyone in need that you can with no compensation. I wonder what kind of creature would have such a twisted imagination and motive to put this on Gale. I’m more curious if Gale did anything to deserve this treatment. I feel awful for Gale, and it must horrifying for Sophia to watch him smile as tears streak down his face. The image is so powerful in my mind and I love every minute of it. Very well done, Glaceon.

  13. L. L. Marco Avatar
    L. L. Marco

    The Queen’s Vow
    By L. L. Marco

    “We can’t let them get away with it!” one man screamed from the crowd. “If the monsters are brave enough to steal our queen, nothing is stopping them from killing everyone!”

    A cacophony of voices rang out in agreement.

    “You can’t lie to us anymore! Where is our queen?!”

    “Yeah! Let her speak if she lives!”

    The crowd festered into incoherent shouting. It had been months since anyone had seen their beloved ruler. The streets, once warmed by her presence, felt empty. Babies went unblessed by her kisses, children graduated without her praise. It was unthinkable. The heart of the kingdom had seemingly vanished overnight. And every day more rumors seeded themselves into the common folk. It had only been a matter of time before fear devoured them.

    Just as the crowd was about to evolve into a full blown mob at the palace’s entrance, a figure stepped out onto the balcony above them. Silence fell over the people as they stared, shocked, at the face at their beloved queen.

    “Citizens of Royal City, please, calm yourselves!” She paused. “I apologize. Illness has befallen me and I did not want to give the Belua nation reason to think us vulnerable. I’ve spent many nights feeling your fears. We must not allow the monsters into our minds; do not fall into the propaganda of beasts! Those rumors are weapons to make us scared and stupid. I’ve come before you to assure you I have not been taken. I will not fall to Belua. This is my vow to you!”

    The crowd erupted into cheering as the queen, coughing, fled back into her palace. The fire had been stifled. For now.

    “Quite a show,” a beast chortled from the shadows.

    The ‘queen’ stepped into her chambers, flesh oozing off her figure in thick chunks with each step. Some pieces clung like mold to their body. The shapeshifter reached up with its slender claws to peel it from their slimy white flesh. Finally. They were free of that wretched disguise.

    “We can’t let them grow wise,” they replied, “Not when we’re so close.”

    1. Glaceon373 Avatar
      Glaceon373

      Marco, this is a beautiful subversion of the prompt. The queen’s oath to protect Royal City was, in the end, a lie. The twist at the end was perfectly portrayed, and your dialogue was on point. Your piece also flowed smoothly from beginning to end. Overall, Marco, this is a great story and I would love to read more in this universe. Great job!

  14. ClockworkPigeonz Avatar
    ClockworkPigeonz

    “Oathbreaker”
    By: ClockworkPigeonz

    The heels of his boots clicked down the Great Hall to the tune of roaring wind and hushed breaths. Past the library where he had spent many an evening curled up with a book. Through the inner courtyard where beams of arcane light floated like fireflies.

    He paused once at his classroom, placed a hand open the doorframe and drew a shuddering breath. Then carefully, he pulled a knife from his pocket and pried his nameplate from the top of the door. Before continuing between the gathered rows of mages.

    Some pressed up against the walls with disgust in their eyes. Others stood silent with glassy gazes as if they couldn’t understand. Some reached out to squeeze his hand. Some spit in his path.

    And some followed in his wake.

    The Headmasters were waiting for him when he finally reached the entrance, they stood- heads bowed, hoods drawn save for Father Zeke. The older mage stepped down from the raised dais and pulled Seiko into a warm embrace.

    Seiko could not help clinging to the man who had pulled him out of the ice and snow so long ago.

    He could not see through his tears as a crystalline sword was pushed into his hands. A kaleidoscope of colors rippled over its surface and the golden light of strong magic shown from within. As weightless as a feather and yet it was the heaviest burden he’d ever borne.

    Finally Zeke spoke, “My son, will you break your vow of peace and take this sword to protect your kindred from the darkness beyond our doors?”

    “I will.” His voice shook, the words like a hot coal on his tongue.

    “Do you understand that this means you can never return?”

    “I do.”

    “Then my son…this is goodbye.”

    The entrance doors were thrown open, letting in the biting cold. Snow dusted the flagstones as Zeke tearfully pulled him into one last rib-breaking hug. His final words to Seiko rang in his ears as he stepped out into the cold with three hundred mages at his heels.

    “I am so proud of you.”

    1. Glaceon373 Avatar
      Glaceon373

      Clockwork, this story is an elegant take on the prompt. The foreboding atmosphere you created in the first few paragraphs persists throughout the piece. The sadness and regret in the dialogue is very palpable. I hope Seiko gets to see his father again. Overall, Clockwork, very emotional story with impactful tone. Great job!

  15. DesOttsel Avatar
    DesOttsel

    The Final Words of A Broken Vow
    by Gage Jarman

    Kiera, you are to receive this letter upon my descent into the abyss where all come to rest. I am sorry. I am sorry for many things. I am not scared of my passing, but there is still so much to be done. This world needs a torch to burn out the blight, to guide it out of the coming dark.

    You know, when me and your mother had you, I swore I had never seen such a helpless thing in all my life, all puffy and pink; wet and cold, but you were something precious. I would give you a peaceful life. The one I never had.

    My father beat me with a wooden sword every day. I was always sore, always battered and bruised. I still loathe looking back on those days, but it made me strong. It made me humble. It made me acquainted with the dark. I doubt I ever would have opened my heart to your mother if this duality did not exist within me. Still, I could not save her.

    The night of her funeral, when the flowers spoke, after you fell asleep, I wandered into the forest. I let out all my wrath and anguish on any cursed beasts that lurked. I screamed into the moonless sky bathed in their blood and bile.

    My hope for the future vanished that night. I knew your peaceful existence had shattered in twain. I sacrificed the other half of you, but I couldn’t allow my daughter to exist in this world of hypocrisy. I have fought with every ounce of strength granted to me by The Twilight Maiden and my own will. I pray this selfish price was enough.

    You have suffered when you should not, but should my sacrifice be insufficient and the rot within the church escape to fester further, you must be strong. Learn to balance the dark as well as the light within you. No matter what anyone says, you are good. You are our child. Never forget that.

    I wish those halcyon days could have lasted.

    I love you, always.

    1. This was fairly touching. A last message to a daughter from her father; introspecting upon his own failings and hope for his daughter’s future. I’m curious about the actual setting, and would love to read more of this. But the lack of these details does nothing to detract from the piece. This was a good piece.

  16. RVMPLSTLSKN Avatar
    RVMPLSTLSKN

    Vows Unforsaken
    By RVMPLSTLSKN (The Saga of The Deep One’s Wake)

    Jabil-Tai, the eternal god-king of the south, was many things first: infant, young, warlord and shaman, but only one did Tai choose. Tai chose to be a shaman and that choice was the foundation of Tai’s identity. To be a shaman was to have great responsibility, to be strong of will, to have the strength to hold on to your freedom and dictate how you are accepted. When the dead are your daily routine, the experience of living flesh is wonderful.

    Shamans stood between the living and dead, between the mundane and divine, to be an arbiter of vows in the reality of chaos.

    Now to be a shaman was to be alone, for Tai alone remained. Tai’s people had gone and taken their spirits with them. They had left Tai during a battle of wills, like spirit’s erasure of identity, like a fire dying.

    Tai was all that was left, until others appeared. The first was a cunning-woman, who wasn’t quite a shaman, but neither was she simply a wife. Tai found her with a petulant child who called her ‘sorceress’ and ‘child-thief.’

    Tai felt the tug of duty at that, but even Tai couldn’t sooth the child’s aches, which flared up like a cauldron set alight.

    Tai instead set to the shaman’s other duty and protected them from the spirits of the woods and sky, tents, cairns and wells.

    All this is why Tai was alone in the night when a ghost finally arrived. It was a strong thing, but lamed and left forgotten. It was a crippled thing of pain and rebirth and unbirth. It had been a god and now was nothing more.

    Tai tried to commune with it.

    It lashed out.

    Tai held it, knowing the physical can’t harm the spiritual, but the reverse is untrue. Tai killed it in a way known only to shamans, for such is the nature of their wills. Tai bound it and broke it and remade it. It became a vessel for the shaman’s future and Tai named it Hope. For Tai, hope was all that they had left.

    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      This is BEAUTIFUL!!
      I started copying down my favorite lines, but quickly realized I was copying every line. No joke. This is so beautifully written, the whole way through.

      “was many things first: infant, young, warlord and shaman, but only one did Tai choose.”–This juxtaposition is powerful. It tells you so much about he is in such a simple way.
      “To be a shaman was… to have the strength to hold on to your freedom and dictate how you are accepted.”–This is also powerful. I feel like this is something most people would want, but to “dictate how you are accepted” is an extremely difficult thing to do. Knowing he can do this says a lot about him.
      “When the dead are your daily routine, the experience of living flesh is wonderful.”–Both cool and wonderfully creepy.

      “The first was an cunning-woman, who wasn’t quite a shaman, but neither was she simply a wife. Tai found her with a petulant child who called her ‘sorceress’ and ‘child-thief.’”–Once again this says so much about their characters in as little words as possible and its quite awe inspiring. At the same time it also raises just as many questions, which I think is the perfect balance.

      “Tai felt the tug of duty at that, but even Tai couldn’t sooth the child’s aches, which flared up like a cauldron set alight.”–This was probably my favorite line.
      Either this or:
      “Tai held it, knowing the physical can’t harm the spiritual, but the reverse is untrue.”–I feel like this is pretty true in the real world too, honestly, and I just think it’s beautifully phrased.

      And the part about the ghost is of course amazingly written too. I like how it relates to your other story. It feels like Tai is a bit more gentle than the characters from the other story? I absolutely loved how it ended with Hope. That Tai ultimately turned this creature’s pitiful existence into something worthwhile.

      I only had one minor question, which was why you listed him as both ” infant,” and “young.” I’m assuming you had a reason for it, but it was odd to see that you didn’t pick one. Was the idea that he was an infant in god terms, but like a young man in appearance? That’s kinda how I ended up taking it.

      I’m definitely curious about Tai and who exactly he is in the grand scheme of things. As well as this woman and child. And what “It became a vessel for the shaman’s future” means exactly. Very intriguing story!!

      Thanks again for putting the universe by the title. It was super helpful this week.

    2. Insania404 Avatar
      Insania404

      Tagback Review!

      I see a lot of the previous stories about the mechanics of this universe’s spiritual world coming into play here. The spirit is clearly seeking out something to consume, so that it may become a god again, so that it could be worshipped again and made powerful.

      Tai did not just swear an oath, but they became the very embodiment of that oath, living as a protector for all, regardless of the life that they lead. Whether gentle, sorceress, or thief, it doesn’t keep them from performing their duty. Tai even gave the spirit a chance to commune with them.

      True to the design of the world, the spirit is not destroyed, but changed into something else. I’m curious as to whether this is a fable about the idea of hope, or if they actually bound a spirit for themselves and called it Hope. I assume it’s the latter, but I’m curious regardless.

      One nitpick. I believe you meant to write soothe the child’s aches rather than sooth. Other than that, it’s an excellent tale.

  17. “My Oath, my War”
    by Exce [Checked by Wvlf]

    A clear blue sky stretched as far as the eye could see, and the sun shone with the mellow warmth of spring. On blankets and cushions Excelsius lay, stretched out on the flat top of the hollow mountain.

    It was an odd conundrum that let him lounge there; despite living at the heart of a desert, it seldom got very hot, not even in summer. And Excelsius would be damned if he didn’t exploit that.

    As he was floating somewhere between waking and sleep, he heard steps on the ladder followed by the dull scraping of the stone lid that covered the shaft. When he cracked open one eye, he saw that it was the Arawin woman, Amrhysea. As far as he knew, the woman was mute, but when he languidly raised his hand to allow them to communicate telepathically, she accepted and sat down next to him.

    Her voice was gentle in his mind. >For someone who so often drenches himself in blood, you have quite the affinity for making yourself comfortableLuciel is worried about your mental state, and I’m worried for your life. Why do you pursue the Angels so obsessively in disregard for your self-preservation?To whom? Who holds such sway over you that you would risk so much.> Excelsius knew what she didn’t dare say. Was this just an excuse to justify his suicidal behavior?

    Excelsius sat up and raised his free hand. As if painted from glowing red ink, a shape came into being.

    A small ragged child with torn clothing and wild hair. Curled up next to him, it was heaving with silent sobs.

    “I swore it to him. To myself.”

    1. L. L. Marco Avatar
      L. L. Marco

      An interesting gaze int0 Excelsius’ st0ry. I like the idea 0f being able t0 c0mmunicate with the mute thr0ugh telepathy, th0ugh I w0nder what her mental v0ice s0unds like since she’s never used her real 0ne.

      The idea 0f a h0me inside a h0ll0w desert m0untain is pretty neat as well.

      There’s a few err0rs in the p0rti0n in which she’s speaking (‘making y0urself c0mf0rtableLuciel– as well as s0me lack 0f spacing after sentences). I als0 think that the last paragraph w0uld fl0w better if it read “a small ragged child with t0rn cl0thing and wild hair curled up next t0 him. It was heaving with silent s0bs.”

      0verall the st0ry is really nice and i’m intrigued as t0 what c0mes 0f this p00r man and his quest f0r the Angels. I h0pe the st0ry ends well f0r him, whatever that may l00k like. It never cr0ssed my mind t0 use this pr0mpt as a pr0mise t0 0nes self. Well d0ne!

    2. Insania404 Avatar
      Insania404

      So Excelsius doesn’t just have a deathwish. Instead, he’s fulfilling a promise in the only way he knows how; through bloodshed and rampage. This brings an interesting shade of the character to light. I haven’t read much about this character, so I’m unsure if this is a new development for the character.

      Who is the child and why is he so important to Excelsius? What did the Angels do to him that would warrant such an obsessive pursuit?

    3. jesse fisher Avatar
      jesse fisher

      Lovely seeing more of your universe. Also like the explanation from the ‘other’ half of our protagonists, you show he is not mindless. We get images of him as a monster that would kill everyone he meets. Or that is what I get from reading your universe.

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