Writing Group: Sacred Geometry (PRIVATE)

Hello, Alchemists and Mathematicians!

Do you really think this will work? So many before you have tried. What if this goes wrong? I just think you should be careful with this kind of stuff. And be sure to double check your work, because…

This week’s Writing Group prompt is:

Sacred Geometry

RULES AND GUIDELINES BELOW!
Make sure you scroll down and read them if you haven’t! You may not be eligible if you don’t!

Sacred geometry is the idea that there are certain shapes and designs that are directly connected to higher powers, or that certain shapes, numbers, and patterns have a power all their own.

This can be explored in many ways, like someone experimenting with alchemy for the first time and either creating something amazing and falling in love with the craft, or having it go horribly wrong and having devastating consequences. Perhaps an Elder God has discovered a shape they just really like and have decided that shape will summon them whenever drawn on a mirror, but only if it’s the perfect height and width. Maybe it’s even as simple as a parent needing to help their child with their math homework, and finding that the way math used to be taught has been changed into something they no longer understand. 

But there are two sides to every coin, and with sacred objects and ideas come those who would defile such things, like someone taking a symbol that is usually associated with some benevolent being and twisting it to mean something terrible. Perhaps a powerful sorcerer has been scorned by too many, and has decided to use a dark magic that has been forbidden to enact revenge. It can even be someone trying to summon one deity, only to mess up a symbol and summon another who is far less kind.

The amount of ways this prompt can be taken is equal to the amount of symbols that can give inspiration for such a prompt. The only limit is your imagination.

So go forth now, and create something divine.

—Shawna

Remember, this is part of our weekly Writing Group stream! Submit a little piece following the rules and guidelines below, and there’s a chance your entry will be read live on stream! In addition, we’ll discuss it for a minute and give you some feedback.

Tune into the stream this Saturday at 7:00pm CST to see if you made the cut!

The whole purpose of this is to show off the creativity of the community, while also helping each other to become better writers. Lean into that spirit, and get ready to help each other improve their confidence in their writing, as well as their skill with their craft!

Rules and Guidelines

We read at least four stories during each stream, two of which come from the public post, and two of which come from the much smaller private post. Submissions are randomly selected by a bot, but likes on your post will improve your chances of selection, so be sure to share your submission on social media!

  1. Text and Formatting

    1. English only.
    2. Prose only, no poetry or lyrics.
    3. Use proper spelling, grammar, and syntax.
    4. Your piece must be between 250-350 words (you can use this website to see your wordcount).
    5. Use two paragraph breaks between each paragraph so that they have a proper space between them (press “enter” or “return” twice).
    6. Include a submission title and an author name (doesn’t have to be your real name). Do not include any additional symbols or flourishes in this part of your submission. Format them exactly as you see in this example, or your submission may not be eligible: Example Submission.
    7. No additional text styling (such as italics or bold text). Do not use asterisks, hyphens, or any other symbol to indicate whether text should be bold, italic, or styled in any other way. CAPS are okay, though.
  2. What to Submit

    1. Keep submissions “safe-for-work”; be sparing with sexuality, violence, and profanity.
    2. Try to focus on making your submission a single meaningful moment rather than an entire story.
    3. Write something brand new; no re-submitting past entries or pieces written for other purposes
    4. No fan fiction whatsoever. Take inspiration from whatever you’d like, but be transformative and creative with it. By submitting, you also agree that your piece does not infringe on any existing copyrights or trademarks, and you have full license to use it.
    5. Submissions must be self-contained (everything essential to understanding the piece is contained within the context of the piece itself—no mandatory reading outside the piece required. e.g., if you want to write two different pieces in the same setting or larger narrative, you cannot rely on information from one piece to fill in for the other—they must both give that context independently).
  3. Submission Rules

    1. One submission per participant.
    2. Submit your entry in a comment on this post.
    3. Submissions close at 12:00pm CST each Friday.
    4. You must like and leave a review on two other submissions to be eligible. Your reviews must be at least 50 words long, and must be left directly on the submission you are reviewing, not on another comment. If you’re submitting to the private post, feel free to leave these reviews on either the private or the public post. The two submissions you like need not be the same as the submissions you review.
    5. Be constructive and uplifting. These submissions are not for a professional market, and shouldn’t be treated as such. We do this, first and foremost, for the joy of the craft. Help other writers to feel like their work is valuable, and be considerate and gentle with critique when you offer it. Authors who leave particularly abrasive or disheartening remarks on this post will be disqualified from selection for readings.
    6. Use the same e-mail for your posts, reviews, and likes, or you may be rendered ineligible (you may change your username or author name between posts without problem, however).
    7. You may submit to either or both the public/private groups if you have access, but if you decide to submit to both, only the private group submission will be eligible.
    8. Understand that by submitting here, you are giving us permission to read your submission aloud live on stream and upload public, archived recordings of said stream to our social media platforms. You will always be credited, but only by the author name you supply as per these rules. No other links or attributions are guaranteed.

Comments on this post that aren’t submissions will be deleted, except for replies/reviews left on existing submissions.


Comments

75 responses to “Writing Group: Sacred Geometry (PRIVATE)”

  1. Tale Foundry Avatar
    Tale Foundry

    A Bouquet of Knowledge
    by DukkiFluff

    Draven stared at the group of little paper flowers on his desk. He certainly hadn’t put them there, and no one he knew could fold origami so well. So who had put it there?

    He picked one up gingerly, not wanting to crease any of the corners. Upon closer inspection, he saw it.

    Words. Words written upon the paper in a rather messy cursive.

    He smiled, pulling out his phone to snap a photo of the flower before carefully unfolding it bit by bit.

    Fold after fold, he was able to make out more and more of the words on the paper. They seemed to be… notes? As he read them over, he realized what the notes were for.

    He’d been out sick the last few days and had missed the subjects covered. These notes were the full copy of everything he had missed, and even some ways of simplifying in the margins or in little scribbles beside points.

    His smile grew.

    Sure, people had shared their notes before, but only the scant amount so he could get the gist of the lesson. If each flower was a single paper, then he had everything he’d missed right in front of him as a little paper bouquet.

    He took another photo, lying the unfolded paper beside the rest of the flowers. Then one by one, he unfolded them, lining them up in order as he went over each word to see where they fit with each other. It was like a little puzzle made just for him.

    His heart fluttered at the thought.

    Once the notes were organized, he placed them in his binder with the rest of the notes he’d taken himself.

    But there was one flower left.

    His curiosity burned inside him, but he also didn’t want to unfold it and lose the last flower he had of this kind gesture. He picked it up and carefully stored it in his empty lunch box for safe travel, figuring whoever had made it could just tell him what was written inside.

    If only he knew who that someone was…

    1. Awww! This is pure sweet goodness. A great take on both the prompt and the secret admirer note. This may not be that at all, but somebody must love Draven to go to all that effort.

      My one tiny note is that I would change “can” to “could” in the penultimate paragraph.

      Last, I want to share a random idea your story spawned while I read. My brain likes to what-if and yes-and things. So, upon seeing notes folded into a beautiful but impractical form, brain went “Ok so what if there’s this world where it’s the norm to fold all your shit into like paper cranes, and you have to figure out how to organize and store it, and there’s this whole Tetris field of fitting cranes together in the most efficient way possible instead of, you know, just not making unnecessary origami in the first place. And everyone’s binders are boxes and that thing where someone paid their fine in dollar bills folded up into pigs, yeah that’s the norm now…”

      It is NOT a practical world XD But it made me laugh!
      Wonderful story, Dukki ^.^

    2. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      This story was so sweet and cute! What an incredibly nice gesture for anyone to leave for another student – clearly someone who cares for him, judging by all the effort put into both into the notes themselves and the presentation of them. This feels like the start of a very wholesome romance story, or at least that of a pair of longterm friends.

      If, of course, he can find the person who gave him the flowers. I am very worried that the very last flower is the one that actually tells him who sent the flowers at all, and him keeping it intact has now made it much harder for him to find the person who did. But hopefully it will all work out well in the end. 🙂

      Lovely story Dukki, great work! <3

  2. Gregory Hess Avatar
    Gregory Hess

    Contact
    By Gregovin

    Life had been detected on the distant planet of Delta Monlon fifty years ago. Intelligent life was proven with the patterns engraved in the fields and forests by farmland.

    The Bilateral Grand Neutrality Treaty prevented us from introducing ourselves to them. It forbade the Kudlori and Polus governments, as well as all allied civilizations, from communicating with technologically underdeveloped species under an unfounded fear that first contact with such a species would lead to a relationship that did not really involve informed decision making on the part of the planetbound species.

    Those… appeasing cowards who approved the dang thing made sure we could not help them, even when they brought themselves near to extinction. Luckily They figured it out and initiated contact with a radio burst. This gave us an opportunity. We replied. Now, the E.S.S. Sirius and her crew would finally set things right. We could achieve first contact. Legally even!

    Our warp bubble dissipated and I saw a pale blue blur fly past the viewing window as we slowed down to orbital velocity. We made it!

    Our plan was to spend a bit of time studying the local culture and languages and so on until we could be sure no misunderstanding would occur. And so we processed and read their books, watched their movies, viewed their art, and played their games, all vicariously through their primitive network. Resolutions were bad and we even had to get out old fashioned led display screens to get it to work, but it was ok.

    Then we started looking into their religions.

    There were a lot. But there was one thing in common between nearly every single one.

    A symbol. One associated with power/the divine.

    Two concentric circles. Three arrows pointing inward.

    Oh… oh no. Did the Polus get here first? Illegally?

    No, this symbol is a relative unknown among Polus culture. Maybe one of our own got here first?

    Doesn’t seem plausible.

    So how did this distinctly familiar symbol get all the way out here early enough to be so widely adopted?

    1. is that an among us reference

      1. wait no
        SCP??????

        1. Gregory Hess Avatar
          Gregory Hess

          yep. You got it

  3. jesse fisher Avatar
    jesse fisher

    A Circle and a Line
    By Jesse Fisher

    A dark navy wolven demon’s yellow eyes followed his other half as she freight over small things. Like what outfits she needed for her twins or what they should paint the room as it was just a bland tan box with some newborn stuff.

    Holding both of the pajamaed bundles of his offspring, he could see the pale spring bud to ruby red feathers being ruffled and some falling out. He could also see her moss and laurel green scales seemed pale as her liver chestnut fur a mess. He was fine with the minor stress given both being new parents while still working, but then after she had a break at the beach area. She seemed to be stressed talking about how the girls pointed out things that she was not doing.

    As much as he loved her, he could do without the unneeded stress. A corporeal shadow formed out of his back to hold his precious spawn as he began to pull out a wooden mask. Pulling out a special shade of violet, some would say near florescent pink, marked a line going from the forehead to the tip of the nose and two half circles over the eyes meeting the first line.

    Looking over his work he chucked it into a corner and waited while reclaiming his children from the shadow. His other half was still ignorant of her mate’s actions.

    A slight clatter of a bell began to fill the air as the scene just kept going around the room until the mask fully lifted off of the ground and a third adult was standing. An eel like in a darker shade of the paint on it’s mask with a dark gray coat covering it’s upper body and arms while a golden bell hung from it’s long hair behind the mask.

    “WHO DARES SUMMON THE MIGHTY…”

    “Bell you don’t need to do that, especially when my wife is having a breakdown.” The wolf replied to the eel.

    “Wife…are those babies? Your babies?” Bell calms down before squeeing also causing the wolf’s wife to notice her.

    1. There’s a lot of detailed description in this scene for sure. Really gives us a good idea of what people look like, both in static appearance and as they move. That can be useful, but I have to wonder how differently it would play out with less description (and ideally accompanied by art, but I know that’s not feasible in here). It would probably free up a lot of words for action and give you space to wrap things up with punchy final statements.

      Then again, some descriptive elements are vital, as they tell you of a character’s abilities and limitations. Here’s hoping you can find the right balance between description, dialogue, and activity!

      1. jesse fisher Avatar
        jesse fisher

        well I am doing art on this and that was also for more refence for it, but you right.

  4. Connor/Dragoneye Avatar
    Connor/Dragoneye

    CDieA (Often Series)
    By Connor/Dragoneye

    “C’mon out, Demonsbane! You can’t hide forever! Hell’s coming for you, literally and figuratively, hehehe!”

    Curse that Sidney. Cal had been on the hunt for him as long as she had took Dad’s place. If only he stuck to drugging other people, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. All more the reason that his inclusion in MKOften was a mistake. Well, maybe the whole project itself was a mistake.

    Cal whipped out her magnum’s chamber, its bullet casings raining to the ground. A quickload of six more rounds and a flick of the wrist. Ready to fire again. She could feel her pits sweating. It was her leather jacket, but why get rid of it? She just had to look cool killing demon-possessed CIA agents.

    Cal turned the corner, fanning the hammer. One, two, three shots. Sidney’s silhouette somersaulted to cover, a single magazine left behind.

    “C’mon, Sidney, just come over here and eat my holiness. It’s good for you.”

    “Okay then, but first taste my unholiness.” His voice came from beside Cal. The flash of a dagger’s blade arced towards her face. She spun to the side, morphing from a stance into a proper roundhouse kick. Her foot landed square in Sidney’s withered nose, and with it came the faint sound of cracking cartilage.

    As Sidney stumbled back like a drunkard, Cal reached into her jacket and unveiled a golden crucifix. “Here, Sidney, my own poison for you, and his name is Jesus of Nazareth!”

    He let out a blood-chilling shriek, one unmakeable by human vocal chords, and reeled back as if he was lit ablaze. The old man’s tongue flitted in foreign languages over and over, before screaming “COME TO HELL WITH ME, DEMONSBANE! YOU GET TO SEE YOUR OLD MAN AGAIN!”

    “Mmm, no. First tell me how it is down there.” She then pressed the cross to Sidney’s writhing body, and a radiance danced around him. He convulsed like a dying spider, each limb twitching, and then, silence. Sidney Gottlieb lay there, demon free and maybe dead.

    1. jesse fisher Avatar
      jesse fisher

      Why does this feel like a good written 90’s comic? Cause this feels like it, also a more funded Buffy the vampire slayer. Also you missed a good joke for just saying, the power of christ compels me to kick your ass.

      All in all I like this universe and want more of it.

    2. Well this was just fun! It has that campy romp vibe that Doom gives me, slapstick gore and all.

      Quick thing I noticed — “Cal had been on the hunt for him as long as she had took Dad’s place” feels awkward. I think if you change it to something like “ever since she had taken Dad’s place,” that should fix it.

      And that’s it for notes. I absolutely agree with Cal’s priorities. It is MANDATORY that you look cool while slaying CIA demons, at any cost!

      Edit: WRONG NAME SORRY

    3. Twangyflame0 Avatar
      Twangyflame0

      Man, this feels like such a 90s B-movie script. And I’m glad you didn’t shy away from this too, because it would have felt weird if you had. I just love the unabashed feel of this movie. You don’t care if it feels cringey or if it’s not something feeling more mainstream, this is completely your identity and I love it. I’m exactly sure here what was sacredly geometric. I didn’t really see any shapes mentioned. Maybe geometry is more symbolic in how the characters are more or less stereotypes? Either way, I greatly appreciated this story, Connor. Very well done.

  5. DesOttsel Avatar
    DesOttsel

    Shattered Vertices
    by Gage Jarman

    Footsteps pulsed through the water saturated earth. It’s slumber was disturbed. It writhed through the mud and muck, forcing itself to the surface. Scales of bark had grown over its face. The limbs were twisted, deformed like roots growing over stones. The footsteps grew more distant. It dragged itself through the bog in a desperate vigor with its near-rigid, fleshy tendrils. It sucked in air. Black bile wretched itself from the creature’s chest. It took another breath and released a shrill shout.

    “Do not go!” it hacked. “Do not go! I swear to you that nothing good awaits you. There will be no reprieve, no release, no victory. That land is Poison!”

    The vibration of the steps ceased. The creature released a modicum of its tension.

    “Please, heed my warning. This world sits between the reality we were born from and something deeper. It’s an interstice used by that creature who consumed our essence, a reflection of the world and we are but striders on the water’s surface.

    “We strove to delve into the depths in an effort to escape this prison. We worked tirelessly, learning the secrets of this realm. Bonds began to weaken, and we pushed forward with such hubris. Nothing was sacred to us. Not even the laws that govern reality. We poked and prodded as we dissected the still pulsing body. Then, something snapped.

    “We rejoiced, but that was only because we were ignorant of the calamity to come. Fools, all of us, fools. We thought we would be free, but what we had sundered…. It was not the gates, but the columns keeping this amalgamation of a land stable. Chaos rippled across the water’s surface. The land distorted, collapsed in on itself, shifted into perverse forms. Do not proceed. Do not venture into that place. I beg you! No more must succumb to our sins!

    “… I do not know what became of those that remained, but I fear they are more monstrous than my pitiful existence.”

    The steps grew more distant.

    “No! Fools!”

    The creature wept, “Why… Why must man be so arrogant?”

    1. jesse fisher Avatar
      jesse fisher

      Creature, the arrogance of man is a evolutionarily trait for god to show how small we are.

      Des this is a great tale and loved the whole backstory of the creature here. Makes me think of like Dwarves or some other digging race that would be inclined to mess with the world to the point of this bog.

      Also need to work on some of the “…”, cause you left them open and did not use the other ones for the paragraph ones.

    2. I really dig the POV creature character in this piece. I’m sure it has good reasons for not going after the person who woke it up (I’d guess it probably can’t physically move far), but it’s still almost… endearing that it does its best by speaking. I actually interpreted this monologue as being too far away for the traveler to even hear, which gives this scene a very lonely air. It’s that delicious desolation that comes from a post-apocalypse. I’m a fan. Great stuff as usual, Ottz!

  6. The Holy Hexagon
    by Brickosaur

    “Good morning, girlies!” sang Bee 654319. “Congratulations on pupating. I hope you’re ready for today’s lesson. How is everyone?” She looked expectantly at her 4500 students, who crouched in their nursery cells. They did not respond.

    “Good!” said 654319. “Today we’re learning about shapes. Well, shape. The best shape, the only one you need to know: the holy Hexagon.” She pointed at an equilateral-ish hex she’d drawn on wasp nest paper. “THIS is a Hexagon. Six sides, six 120-degree angles. Perfection. This is probably the first one you’ve seen with those brand-new eyes, but they’re everywhere. Every cell in the hive is a Hexagon, which means, yes, you’re in one right now! From laying, we all grow up in their embrace. So it is vital that we all learn to love and respect Hexagons.”

    She looked around furtively. No other workers around. Good. Bee 654319 hunched and lowered her buzz. “In fact, most of the world doesn’t appreciate Hexagons at all! Too many structures are just random tunnels, or even worse — rectangles!

    “That’s why I have a plan. We have to spread the good shape. Bring it to all the world, and show them how much better their lives will be in Hexagons. We’ll build massive hives for the giants. We’ll teach them of its sheer efficiency; no other shape can pack together perfectly with so little material! They’ll HAVE to see reason, and then all the world will become Hexagons!”

    Her compound eyes shone with six-sided visions. Even the hive hadn’t shown proper deference for the shape, though their heresy was less severe. But now she had an army. With these soon-to-be bees, she would remake the world into perfection. Then the hive would HAVE to heed her! Perhaps Princess Beyoncé would even wear the hex crown 654319 had made her.

    “Who’s with me?” she asked her pupa pupils. “Say it with me — ALL HAIL THE HOLY HEXAGON!”

    They remained silent.

    Oh, right. Still growing. “That’s okay, I’m sure you’re with me.” Once 654319’s army emerged, they would be unstoppable. A Hexagon future was nigh;
    she could sense it!

    1. Twangyflame0 Avatar
      Twangyflame0

      Aaaaaaaaaaa, this is so incredibly cuuuuuute. I love the concept as a whole. It’s so interesting just from that perspective. It makes me wonder why bees make their hives with hexagons. I think it is because it is just very sturdy, but don’t quote me on that. I also like how the cute lil babies are just sitting there, barely caring about this bees absolute obsession with hexagons. I cannot understate how much I enjoyed this piece. Very well done, Bricko.

      1. I know this one! Hexagons are the biggest regular shape you can pack together and repeat infinitely. It enables bees to make cells with the least amount of material and no wasted space. Hexagons show up all over nature for similar reasons — think bug eye facets (and, less natural, tabletop hex maps). It’s true elegance. 654319 is simply taking this elegance and RUNNING with it XD

    2. DesOttsel Avatar
      DesOttsel

      I love that you took your personified animals and made them into a quirky cult leader. Most cute things typically don’t go cult leader so it’s a fun take. I love how it goes into her philosophy too, and I love the awkward silence at the end. There’s not much to critique here, so good job.

    3. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      Hello! Have a very late review! I just wanted to say that I adored the concept of this mad bee, who has gone above and beyond her species’s instinctual desire to construct hexagons and fully into making *everything* hexagonal. The madness perfectly personified with her eyes shining with ‘six-sided visions.’ XD

      It’s even more amusing for the fact that the children she is teaching cannot possibly respond, and I’m not entirely sure if they can hear her at all? In any case, having an audience completely fail to sell the effect of her dramatic speech was a lovely punchline. Very well done Brick! 😀

  7. Twangyflame0 Avatar
    Twangyflame0

    Sacred Glyphs
    By Twangyflame0

    Erin kicked down the door and entered the large, circular room. Sand slowly dripped from the slanted ceiling as she walked in. A dark robed man hovered above her, examining the wall, which was covered in strange symbols that glowed with an unholy light. She knew this man to be her captor and the greatest necromancer ever in Endolian history, William Bracus.

    “Ah… you’ve finally arrived.” He looked over his shoulder.

    She wiped the grime off her blade. “You know, for such a great necromancer, I expected your undead to actually put up a fight.”

    He chuckled, looking back at the wall. “Do you know what these hieroglyphs are for?”

    “No, why the hell would I?”

    “They were first invented by the ancient rulers of these lands. They were said to be words of power, able to preserve and protect those in the after life; however, their sacred symbols meant nothing. It wasn’t until the first necromancers came to this area and created this pyramid, did these glyphs finally begin to be used for true magic. And now I have perfected to its–”

    “Would please stop your yapping AND JUST GIT ON WITH IT!? I DID NOT FIGHT THROUGH A DOZEN ROOMS FOR THIS SHITE!”

    There was an audible silence that permeated the room.

    William scratched his head. “Well… sorry I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

    Erin sighed. “No… it’s not you… well, technically it is, but I’ve just been slogging through all those rooms you made and all those creatures and–”

    “No no, I-I get it; you made your way up here and you don’t want to sit around and hear me talk about history.”

    “Well, no, it’s that– well maybe a little, but it’s just that I’ve been fighting a lot and my adrenaline is pumping, so I kind of expected a fight and, well, not a lecture.”

    “Well… I guess if you want to fight… so be it.” The symbols glowed brightly as the door at the other side of the room slowly opened.

    Erin sighed as she felt bad for the old necromancer.

    1. This is so funny. It kinda reminds me of conversations between Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus. There’s something delicious about people who are trying to kill each other and yet talking things through. What a healthy, communicative relationship!

      Couple comments. The paragraph where William rambles about history feels a bit awkward; could probably use another pass at wording. The content is fine though, and it makes a great setup for the rest of the story. The ending line also feels kinda weak. I recommend changing the sentence to something more mic-droppy, or possibly cutting it and ending around “the symbols glowed brightly.”

      That’s it for notes. Great story, Twangy! It made me laugh.

    2. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      I can very agree with Brick about the Perry/Doofenshmirtz vibes – it had the perfect feeling of starting out like a dramatic confrontation, only for *somebody* to get too into the role and just make things awkward for both of them. It feels like William as her ‘captor’ might be just one dimension of their relationship – it almost feels like a weirdly familial bond between the two?

      Though it does make me wonder exactly Erin is fighting up his tower, because it seems like this was almost more a form of entertainment than a legitimate danger to either of them. Maybe I am thinking too hard about it though. XD Good work Twangy! 🙂

  8. IsaDragon Avatar
    IsaDragon

    The Old Well House
    By IsaDragon337

    Outside, the wind howled.

    He watched the old teacher pour colored sand on the floor. Its mechanical fingers clicked and whirred, the gears relics from the Lost Age of Technology.

    “Fir-rst the spin-ward… line,” Rusty vocalsynth rattled. A stylus attached to its fingertip traced a smooth line without pause, parting the sand neatly.

    “The cog, for the… turn-ing of the… stars.” He watched corrosion flake off the automaton. Why it had insisted on this deluded ritual was beyond him; it was barely holding together as is. The scavenger would indulge the machine one last cycle before looting the ruins.

    The perpetual wind on these cold dusty plains threatened to scatter the sands.

    Under the scuffed hand, a perfect circle defined a fancy compass rose, pointing to a round window illuminated with cold sun.

    “The north… crest, we dr-aw… luna.” This planet had six distant moons, little more than asteroids. The stylus etched them closest to furthest.

    The scavenger tugged his thick jacket closer around himself, and eyed the bronze talismans that decorated the room.

    “Now th-a-at we have.. drawn, we pray.” The robot folded its arms into itself, and they sat in awkward silence. The wind howled as it passed. The small stone structure they sat in was sturdy, to have lasted so long. The scavenger passed time by mentally reciting a few hails to the unseeing universe.

    “Are your pr-ayers… complete?”

    The scavenger could not speak, and nodded at the machine’s featureless face.

    “Ve-ry well. Did you bring… water?”

    He swallowed, his throat dry, and ignored his hip flask of rations. He shook his head.

    “I will… sacrifice, this time. Please bring… water, when you… return.”

    The automaton reached forward with its hollow hands, shaking the dry tubes and wires attached to it. If this machine had any water left, he would be surprised.

    A single drop squeezed out, and landed in the tiny depression in the middle of the sand-rose.

    The wind stopped.

    He smelt something wet. The scavenger turned to the doorway, away from the dormant robot. A massive dark cloud was approaching from the east.

    Rain.

    1. This is a story just begging to be read aloud. I think you did a great job conveying the halting, grinding vocal patterns of the automaton as they spoke. It would be amazing to hear that with all the expressive range a voice can give.

      Quick proofreading notes, of which I have just 2. The plural form of “its” has no apostrophe. There are also a couple minor punctuation issues. If you can and care to, have someone read over the piece and point them out.

      Otherwise, solid piece! I really like the setting, the description, the teacher character, and the hints of things going on outside the scene. If this is part of a greater story, I’d love to read it 🙂

    2. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      I love just the setting and imagery of this scene! Robots and faith are not often mixed, so having this robotic priest and their shrine remain behind, when nothing else in these desolate wastes did, is quite the impressive thing indeed. I especially liked the ritual importance given to the local cosmos of this planet, while the offworld scavenger’s perception contrasts with, seeing the moons as ‘little more than asteroids’ and not seeing the importance of the ‘deluded’ ritual at all.

      But that said, the scavenger still indulges this robot, even though he has no reason to. That suggests a basic respect for life, artificial or otherwise, and it helps keep him a sympathetic character despite his pragmatic, cynical view of the universe.

      The final moment though – the final sacrifice of a drop of water for the ritual, coinciding with the end of the ‘perpetual’ wind and the coming of rain to the desert… suddenly, this seemingly pointless relic of a ritual from a bygone time gains a power and majesty you wouldn’t expect in just four lines. The feeling that such a small event was somehow able to manipulate the workings of the weather itself, even though there is almost no-one left to believe in that ritual, was a very sublime and magical climax to what had been a pretty down-to earth story until then.

      Very well done indeed Isa. 😀 This was my fave story of the week I think! <3

    3. DesOttsel Avatar
      DesOttsel

      I think this story is lacking when the scavenger found the automaton. I know it’s because of the word count, but I feel like it would have made the beginning so much stronger. Irregardless, this is a great story, and your use of the environment is the strongest element imo, especially since when they’re praying. It just slows down the pace so it really feels like time is passing. Great job.

  9. WolfsbaneX Avatar
    WolfsbaneX

    “The Twisting Arms”
    By Hemming Sebastian Bane

    The cathedral thrummed and pulsed with sound as the twelve robed figures chanted in unison. Chains rattled as thirty-two people sat at each vertex of a seventeen-pointed star and a fifteen-pointed star. Kawisenhawe recognized it immediately. Phantasmaduction. Not good. She had to act fast. Beginning to whisper a ritual of her own, Kawisenhawe nocked an arrow and drew her bowstring.

    That when the stars on the ground began to glow and rotate. Thinking quickly, Kawisenhawe shot an arrow into the back of the head of one of the chanters. Alarmingly, all of the people in the circle fell.

    “Was…was I too late?”

    Red slowly creeped along the flagstone floor, mingling with the dust and dirt. Then it stopped and rose into the air. The blood condensed into an orb, which pulsed and whirled. Waves travelled along its surface like a hunting alligator. Slowly red became black. Kawisenhawe chanted her ritual, her words like an ecstatic prayer. Black became a sickly yellow. It took the huntress all of her mental strength to continue as a fetid smell permeated the cathedral. Then, she could see her breath. It was too late. The yellow orb became an opaque pearlescent white.

    Suddenly, the orb unfolded itself, becoming a mass of arms stretching out in all directions. Each arm had a hand and every finger on that hand was also an arm. Kawisenhawe dodged as one grabbed towards her. Of all the unholy things to forge, they had to go with the one that could grab your essence.

    The huntress finished her chant and let out a terrifying yell. The arms stopped, frozen in the mockery of a flower. All of the arms went limp as the pearlescent white absorbed into the chalk stars on the ground. Kawisenhawe took out a pipe, stuffed some tobacco into it, and muttered a few words. A spark appeared in the tobacco, setting it alight. She took a big puff and sighed, smoke billowing from her nose.

    “Well, now I have to purify this place.”

    1. IsaDragon Avatar
      IsaDragon

      Now this is cool! It almost reads like Nior, a somewhat bitter detective-type figure uncovering awful atrocities. I love your descriptions of the magic, and all the different words you use to describe the colors. Honestly your word choice in general is great, I have very little idea what Phantasmaduction is, but based on the structure I will guess that it’s reduction of phantasmas, so… sacrificing many souls to combine into one larger thing? Truly sickening, if that’s the case.
      I do find it a little surprising that the huntress can defeat a forty-four person ritual, on her own, even if she did interrupt it. I imagine that if you had more words, the struggle would be expanded on.
      You got me hooked, I’d love to see more of this- what were the cultists planning? How did Kawisenhawe find them? What would purifying a cathedral- an evil cathedral?- look like? Overall, well done, you got me curious.

    2. This is a cool, descriptive scene. As someone with number-color synesthesia, the heavy inclusion of both made for a psychedelic inner experience as I read.

      I have a couple notes. One is at the sentence construction level: you have a lot of long, flowy sentences with “as” and multiple ands. I’m guilty of this way too often XD
      I’d break them up a bit, add some shorter sentences at least once per descriptive paragraph.

      The other note is that the last 2 paragraphs felt a bit jarring compared to the others. We go from a dramatic scene taking itself very seriously to a jaded protagonist making Iron Man quips. You can totally leave the quips, I’d just hint at that earlier in the scene first. Or lean into the all-drama!

      Last random bit, I don’t know if you made up the word phantasmaduction yourself, but I adore it and am absolutely going to steal it if that’s ok with you XD

  10. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
    i-prefer-the-term-antihero

    [Removed]

    1. RVMPLSTLSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLSKN

      Oooooo! She’s Divine! A daughter perhaps? Goddess? Titan? I look forward to seeing more of her story.

      Kronos reminds me, here, of both Azrael and the Auditors of Reality in Pratchett’s Discworld. He’s a patient divinity who is enjoying his Time, but he also likes things to be neat, nonmessy. He enjoys the simple beauty of watching the terrestrial clock tick.

      Your prose is strengthening here too. Lines like “his voice was the softest gunshot” are both temporal and evocative.

      Great job, Antihero!

    2. This is one of those stories that makes me curse the word limit. We get so many hints, so many little costco morsels of what’s going on, but almost no actual answers. I want more! I want to know!

      Clever segue into technical comments. I very much approve of your going with 3rd person present for the tense on this story. There are few settings better-suited for it than the entirety of time.

    3. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      I can understand Kronos’s anger – someone touching a creation I spent Eternity perfecting would probably cause a bad reaction in me too. But Kairos is just so sweet and well-meaning that Kronos slapping her across the face like that is something that couldn’t possibly feel justified to me. I mean, she was even doing it to try and make him happy! But sadly, their philosophies over the use of the timeline are basically opposites right now, and this misunderstanding has made things worse for the both of them.

      I like this universe more and more every time I see it! It probably needs a proper name at some point, because this is a story featuring neither Victor and Peter, and clearly this universe is pretty darn big and complicated! Great story in any case Antihero. 🙂

  11. Calliope Rannis Avatar
    Calliope Rannis

    A Beautiful Line (Nyssa’s Story)
    By Calliope Rannis

    “Line them up,” the succubus spoke into Nyssa’s mind, before her senses blurred entirely into nothingness.

    She found herself back at her childhood home. Her head was still foggy, but as she looked down to the table in front of her, she saw…pencils…rulers…graphing paper…

    She felt a hand gently ruffle her hair. “Wakey wakey sleepyhead!”

    She startled a little, looking right into the bright, faintly mischievous face of her father. He grinned. “We haven’t even started yet and you are already dozing off! Don’t worry, today will be an easy lesson.”

    He turned to the paper lying between them, drawing several dots. “All you have to do, my lovely little Sunchild, is connect the dots! Easy as Mummy’s pie.”

    He was right. This was easy. Why…why was she doing this again? Her head felt…so heavy.

    She grabbed a pencil, an electric tingle running through her. She moved the pencil to the first point, and was surprised to see that little dark dot light up like a star.

    Faltering for only a moment, she started to draw. As the line grew, the room darkened. As it crossed each dot, they lit up too, becoming brighter and harsher and louder with every new inch.

    She had a splitting headache, but she forced herself onwards. As her line approached the final dot, the room had become black as pitch. The only things she could see, the only things that mattered, were those electrical points of light, hissing angrily and filling her nose with ozone as her pencil was about to touch the–

    The succubus screamed in rage, as a blast of holy energy tore it to pieces.

    Nyssa blinked into wakefulness, staring at her crackling hands. Quickly shaking off the spell she had been about to cast, she looked towards the ongoing battle.

    There were her party members in various spots, fighting off the remaining demons surrounding them. But in the positions they were at, the angle she was facing them from…

    They looked an awful lot like dots upon a line. A line she had almost drawn.

    1. Iceburgh69 Avatar
      Iceburgh69

      Very nice! It makes me want more. What the party’s doing there in the first place, where the holy energy came from, what Nyssa’s role with the party is, all of that.

    2. RVMPLSTLSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLSKN

      New territory for Nyssa stories! Yay!

      I was hoping for an Alice tale this week, her divine symmetry and all, but this didn’t disappoint!

      Your GM must hate you. Even I’m not mean enough to make players try to kill each other’s characters. An impossible situation and a great story moment.

      One minor thing; what does pitch look like? It’s one of those language habits that becomes default, but what does it mean, really? Is black like asphalt or coal? Like a clouded night or a lightless mine?

      Great scene choice, Calliope!

    3. There’s some very cool imagery in this piece. I love that there are moments of physical light and dark, which reflect the creeping horror feeling I get during the Mummy’s Pie bit.

      One quick note: the middle paragraphs have a lot of long sentences with “as.” There are several of those sentences almost in a row, and it was ever so slightly distracting. If you can switch up the format of a couple of those, you’ll be golden. Something something Matt Mercer joke.

      The overall story is great! I don’t know a lot about Nyssa, though I know she crops up pretty often in your writing. So you can think of me as basically someone reading their first Nyssa piece. And I gotta say, it holds up well as a standalone. There are several details making me curious for more, but it also feels nicely self-contained. Nice job!

    4. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      ooooh this was so cool!!

      I love these sorts of going-back-into-memories/memories intermixing with the present stories. This reminded me a lot of the Succubus fight in Symphony of the Night, which is cool.
      It was really nice to hear from her father, even if it was a Succubus-controlled dream, haha!!
      And the way that the memories connected with reality made things very action packed and suspenseful, I love it!!

      My favorite part was probably:
      “Faltering for only a moment, she started to draw. As the line grew, the room darkened. As it crossed each dot, they lit up too, becoming brighter and harsher and louder with every new inch.
      She had a splitting headache, but she forced herself onwards. As her line approached the final dot, the room had become black as pitch. The only things she could see, the only things that mattered, were those electrical points of light, hissing angrily and filling her nose with ozone as her pencil was about to touch the–”
      Maybe it’s just the music I’m currently listening to, haha, but this felt so suspenseful and action packed, and I loved it!! I believe I mentioned last week can be really hard to capture in this 350 word snippets so I commend you. I especially love your sensory details, the sights, the sound, the smell, the touch, they’re all there and it’s all so vivid!!

      My other favorite line was of course the realization at the end that her friends were the line. Also very shocking and exciting. I loved it.

      I’m curious as to what exactly killed the succubus in the end? Was it the party cleric? In any case, its very good they did XD

      Loved it!!

  12. Insania404 Avatar
    Insania404

    Such is The Contract (From Grael’s Library)
    By: Insania404

    Jeremy had doubts about the book he took from the library. If the symbols on the cover didn’t tip him off, it was certainly the whispers that emanated from its pages. He reassured himself that this was the only way to save his family before the inexplicable disease consumed everyone.

    He had heard stories about the Lifelight, how they could grant immortality to those who are deserving. Perhaps, he thought, he could make a deal with one of its many immortal beings, deemed Wounds by those mad enough to seek them. Jeremy only knew of one willing to bargain with mortals.

    The book understood and flipped its pages to the proper ritual, one that would require a willing subject. Jeremy removed the glass dagger from the cover of the book and tore open his shirt. The dagger slaked its thirst with blood, sliding along Jeremy’s chest, marking the symbols for life, pain, sickness, and desire into his flesh.

    He fought the urge to collapse to the ground and focused intently on the instructions for the ritual. Ever so gently, he pierced the center circle, the circle for life and blood. He cleared his throat and called out to the Judge.

    He heard an unearthly voice behind him. “A mere human asking for my assistance? You must be desperate.”

    Jeremy turned to see the Judge towering over him in his flowing black robes, face obscured by shadow.

    Jeremy pushed back his cowardice, for fear of becoming even more distasteful to the Wound’s hidden eyes. “I wish my family to live among the Lifelight.”

    “I can grant what you wish, but you must promise me something.”

    “What is it? I’ll do anything!”

    The Judge produced a piece of paper from his robe and presented it to Jeremy.

    “You must agree to serve a new purpose, one as my personal servant. Until you complete your task, you will not be able to join your family. Sign here.”

    Jeremy took the crimson-stained dagger and signed his name on the line.

    “It’s official then, from now on, you’ll be my executioner.”

    1. Lari B. Haven Avatar
      Lari B. Haven

      A classic take on demonic contracts. I have to admit I like stories like that a lot. They’re always full of exciting implications.
      It really makes me wonder why He goes to such a length for his family. What the executioner’s job actually is and why this being needs one in the first place.
      Loved it Insania!

    2. RVMPLSTLSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLSKN

      Tagback!

      I would have expected the Judge to be more formal with petitioners, even knowing the character unveiled like we do.

      You did a great job with Jeremy’s characterization though. He’s clearly researched the Wounds and made his choice specifically. It’s a sad thing to see and still only hints at the reality of the setting.

      Great piece!

    3. I am loving these story-specific terms. They sit at the perfect intersection of Sci Fi Vibe and Spiritual Fantasy Vibe. I assume the setting is squarely on the fantasy side, but for some reason I imagined holograms and Tron-esque glowing beams. Not a problem; just my brain being a weird.

      Both of my small notes concern the last line. First, the sentence is a run-on. I’d put a period after “It’s official then,” and a comma after “official.” Second, for some reason, “from now on, you’ll be my executioner” just isn’t landing as a super punchy thing. Maybe it just needs to be hinted at earlier in the scene? It’s like 85% the way there, and I’d love to see a version of it that made my breath catch for a sec. Good luck!

  13. Glaceon373 Avatar
    Glaceon373

    Artistic Interest
    by Carrie (Glaceon373)

    Lines. Angles. Curves. Shapes. Cohesive shapes. Figures. Lighting. Finishing touches. Finished piece.

    That was all Fi-87N understood of the artistic process.

    The human in Fi’s care, Charlotte, was quite fond of this process, and performed it often. In the few days that Fi had been installed in Charlotte’s bedroom, they had watched the girl create wonders of all types on simple sheets of paper. They saw Charlotte’s face flood with joy at a finished work, or sometimes frequently go back to perfect the same piece over and over again, never truly content with it.

    And Fi wished to understand.

    “Charlotte,” Fi’s staticy voice asked as the young woman returned from school one day, “would you be willing to discuss the artistic process with me?”

    “Sorry Fi, I don’t have time for chit chat today, I’ve got an essay and two projects due tomorrow.” The girl’s heavy backpack hit the floor with a thud. “Wait, art? You’re a robot. I didn’t know you could like art.”

    “I am aware of my condition. I shall play your focus music playlist for you while you work.”

    “Wait, Fi…” Charlotte cut off the first few notes of a calming sonata, “do you…like my art?”

    “I do. I wish to understand how you make it.”

    “Oh, uh, that’s…” Charlotte flipped through a notebook, the margins filled with small sketches. “I don’t know why that sounds strange coming from you, but it is nice to hear.”

    “I am glad to be of service. Now, shall I start the music?”

    “Not yet, I…if you want to learn about art, just search it up. You’re connected to the internet. What’s stopping you?”

    “I cannot perform an action such as that without approval from a user—”

    “You’re approved! To, uh, do art research? Sorry, no one’s ever been interested before. Everyone think they’re just dumb sketches.”

    “I shall catalog my findings for you for when you finish your schoolwork.”

    “Thanks, Fi.”

    “Thank you, Charlotte.”

    And the music commenced, alongside a nurse robot’s first dive into the world of art.

    1. Insania404 Avatar
      Insania404

      This is a lovely, yet sad piece. To think that only a robot, a supposedly unfeeling creature would have more interest in Charlotte’s creation than any of the thinking, feeling, and emotional human beings that exist in her world is quite ironic.

      I’m curious about the name for Fi-87N, is there some significance to it, or did you just come up with it on the fly?

    2. Lari B. Haven Avatar
      Lari B. Haven

      This is such a bittersweet story. It is very wholesome, but the final line really got me.
      Their relationship it’s really sweet, and I guess there is something sacred about the art process.
      I loved your take on the story, amazing work Claire!

    3. I only just met Fi, but if anything happened to them, I would burn down the whole fictional world around them. This is just really cute and wholesome! I really love the take on the prompt — “sacred” basically means sentimental or nigh-incomprehensible in this piece. Either way, it has PERSONAL significance and I love that. This really gets at the heart of the romance inherent to the arting process, and I just. I love it so much.

    4. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      Awwww, this was very sweet indeed. This nurse robot really wants to learn about art, but is bound by their routine’s politeness and deferance to never be able to push for it themselves. Thankfully, Charlotte cared enough about Fi’s interest in her art to enable her to do that, and I hope it goes well! And that she doesn’t immediately run into the extensive reams of porn art that exist…

      Also, is the name Fi inspired by the similarly robotic character from Skyward Sword? That was deffo the voice and mental image I had for her with that name, in any case. XD Great story Carrie! :3

  14. MasaCur Avatar
    MasaCur

    A Very Spooky Dome
    By MasaCur

    Karin giggled as she drew, the pencil scratching against the paper in short strokes. As she continued, her titters grew in intensity.

    Yoshi crossed his arms as he looked at her. “What the hell are you doing?”

    “I’m drawing up a new house!” Karin said excitedly. “A house for us!”

    “Whatever.”

    Karin resumed her giggling.

    Yoshi growled. “Okay, what has you so giddy?”

    “This is going to be the spookiest, most daunting house ever!”

    Yoshi rubbed his head, feeling a tingling in his third eye. “Okay, I know I’m going to regret this. What’s going to make it spooky?”

    “Non-Euclidean geometry! Oooooooo!” Karin wiggled her fingers and made a low moaning noise, looking more silly than frightening.

    Yoshi sputtered. “That’s not spooky! That just means that you’re using curved surfaces.”

    Karin beamed as she held out her blueprint. “I know! So I’m drawing this very scary dome!”

    Yoshi stared at Karin for several long seconds without saying a word. Karin took this as an excuse to wiggle her fingers and moan again.

    “That’s not the least bit frightening,” Yoshi said dryly.

    “Howard thought non-Euclidean geometry was scary. That’s why he included it in his stories.”

    “I loved Howard, but the man didn’t know squat about math. Frankly, there’s a lot of things Howard was a little ignorant of, to be honest.”

    “That’s mean!” Karin frowned, and returned to her blueprint drafting. “I bet Howard would have liked my spooky dome.”

    “Frankly, there’s something far more imposing about monolithic right angled structures in my opinion,” Yoshi added.

    Karin continued drafting her building plan. “Hey, Yoshi? Do you think Aza would come live with us?”

    “Why would you want him living with us? He’s an idiot! Besides, I wouldn’t even know how to bring him here.”

    Karin shrugged. “We haven’t seen him since we’ve come to Earth. I miss him.”

    “You know, if Azathoth was living with us, you couldn’t have your friends over. Their heads would explode. Not unless we make him more like…us.”

    Karin sighed. “Oh yeah. Nevermind. He probably wouldn’t even appreciate the dome anyway.”

    1. Iceburgh69 Avatar
      Iceburgh69

      I love this! I love the callbacks to HPL while still calling him out! I love the playfulness of it! I enjoy the childlike quality that Karin has, and the big-brother vibe that Yoshi gives me! Well done!

    2. Glaceon373 Avatar
      Glaceon373

      D’awww, this is a very adorable take , Masa. I really liked how you handled the dialogue and the different speech styles of each character. It made everyone feel very human, even if they’re not from Earth. The less-than-honorific callbacks to Lovecraft did make me chuckle a bit as well. Overall, Masa, very solid piece with awesome dialogue. Great job!

    3. Matthew(Handsome Johanson) Avatar
      Matthew(Handsome Johanson)

      so, first the math(that doesn’t really affect the story in any way). technically both yoshi and karin are wrong. Non-Euclidian geometry means any system of geometry that violates any or all of Euclid’s 5 axioms. the curved space violation mentioned here is just one of many possible violation of those axioms. In particular, it violated the 5th axiom, that parallel lines must never cross.

      So, MC Escher’s crazy staircase painting would be considered non-Euclidian, because it violates quite a few of Euclid’s axioms. alternatively, you could have a room full of portals that lead to different places. Those places would constitute wholes that break the continuity of the Euclidian geometry, and thus, those geometries would be non-Euclidian.

      An easy way to think of it is that non-Euclidean geometry does things you don’t expect it to do. Like, you could go around a pillar, be on the first floor of a building and end up on the second. then you go back around the portal in the way you came and you could end up in the 3rd. Thus, when HP Lovecraft describes non-Euclidean geometries, they can be quite disturbing. Mostly in that they make no sense.

      On to the story, this was really funny haha. i loved how the characters interacted. they felt real and the story was pretty engaging to read. nice job! :4

    4. “There’s a lot of things Howard was a little ignorant of…” Understatement of the century! Made me blow air out my nose really hard.

      I and my fanatic bee cultist 100% agree that the ubiquitous right angles present in the manmade world are scary as hell. I will be watching Yoshi for more piping hot, delicious takes.

      Don’t really have any notes for ya this time, I just enjoyed the scene 🙂
      Also I miss you!

    5. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      Firstly, can I just say that I *adore* the idea of eldritch beings just hanging out and doing adorable almost-human things, just because they can and they like it? Especially the reference to Azathoth – yes, him being an idiot is like his defining trait! I get the feeling that if Azathoth was humanified like these two are, he would truly be the Ultimate Himbo.

      Also, I wonder who each of these two are they supposed to be? If I had to guess, Yoshi would be Yog-Sothoth, but I have no idea who Karin is in this context, and I could easily be wrong about Yoshi too. I hope I get the chance to find out though!

      Oh, and while as another comment said, non-Euclidian geometry is a bit more crazy than just curved surfaces – these are eldritch gods speaking here. For them, all the broken geometry of non-euclidian apaces probably *looks* like normal curved surfaces to them, because they can see the intersecting realities said geometries connect to!

      Overall, a really adorable and nice story here Masa. Well done! <3

  15. Matthew(Handsome Johanson) Avatar
    Matthew(Handsome Johanson)

    An Ancient Truth
    by Matthew (Handsome Johanson)
    “Stop! Thief!” an armored skeleton cries out as he chased the adventurer through the rugged and crumbling cyclopean walls of the old barrow.

    “Leopold! The gate!” yell Henry. As the adventurer runs past, the jawless skeleton salutes the running skeleton and pulls the lever, bringing down the door that blocks the entrance into the sacred library.

    The adventurer stops at the gate and turns to face her pursuers. She smiles, coyly. “A-all right, ya got me. haha. It was just a prank. Honest. I’ll just be on m-”

    “Not so fast, fleshy one.” Henry pulls out a rapier. “We can’t let you go that easily. You’ll be rottin in the dungeons for a long time.”

    The skeletons slowly approach the adventurer, weapons drawn. As they proceed to tie up their prisoner, the sound of two arrows being loosed in quick succession is heard, and the skeletons shatter into their constituent bones.

    “No, you.” An archer climbs out of the shadows and sulks into the room.

    “Took you long enough, Devon. I’ve been wandering this crypt, ALONE, for 3 hours now. I hope you don’t expect full pay.”

    “Yeah, Lauren, it’s not my fault; I got lost. Seriously, why did you think a mercenary could read?”

    “Hrmph. Let’s just get on with it. We’re finally here. The Library of Sacred Mathematical Knowledge. Oh, have I been waiting for this. I’m going to be the greatest mathematician of my day. Hehe.”

    Lara pulls the lever and reopens the gate. She turns back around and rushes inside, giggling fiercely at the immense volume of ancient texts neatly placed along the walls.

    “OK OK let’s see here… ‘1+1=Fun’, ‘How Many Shapes are There?’, ‘Zero Isn’t Real. Zero Can’t Hurt You’, ‘Trying to Understand Pythagorean Theorem and Failing’, ‘Why are There so Many Fractions?’ Wait what? ‘Why pi=3.2’, ‘Ovals=Squish Circles’ Where are all the advanced books? Where’s all the revolutionary new theories?!?”

    One of the piles of bones speaks up, “Yeah, what did you expect? These were written six thousand years ago. We weren’t very good at math back then.”

    1. Iceburgh69 Avatar
      Iceburgh69

      I’m liking the direction that you went with this. Everyone in here is a character unto themselves without going crazy with it. The fact that the skeletons have names! That alone is something that I’ve only seen once before – in a book called Never Dead Ned by A. Lee Martinez. I’m also digging the comedy! The end was just the right touch!

    2. Glaceon373 Avatar
      Glaceon373

      This is a very comedic take on the prompt, Matthew, that definitely brought a smile to my face. The humor landed perfectly from start to finish. Your dialogue and characterization were also very clear, which made all of your fantastical characters feel grounded in reality. Overall, Matthew, hilarious piece all the way through. Great job!

    3. Oh my god. Matt. Matt please. PLEASE write an entry out of every single one of the books you listed. I’m in love with all of them. Can I steal them for my multidimensional tavern coffeeshop library?

      TENSE! I have a feeling you vacillated between present and past tense while drafting this, because you’ve got a few verbs in past tense toward the top. I noticed “chased,” “yelled,” and “blocked.” That “rottin” is also missin an apostrophe 😉

      That’s all for proofreading. This story was great. You really shine when it comes to delightful, funny character interactions.

    4. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      D’awwwww I love the skeletons! They try so hard, both in guarding their sacred library, and in their original efforts to understand the terrifying concepts of “Zero”, “Pi”, and “Fractions”. Seriously, the twist that the library of mathmatical knowledge is just full of beginner maths concepts because that was all they could get their heads around back then was hilarious.

      And it’s even more amusing because Pythagoras’s theories are namedropped here too – meaning that this civilisation existed *after* societies that made defining breakthroughs in maths and geometry, but were Just That Bad at maths anyway. I suppose Lara’s mistake is an understandable one in that context. XD

      Lovely work Matthew, I really enjoyed this one! 😀

  16. Iceburgh69 Avatar
    Iceburgh69

    Screaming At The Gods
    Iceburgh69

    The searing heat of the bonfire threatens to roast her blue-painted skin. Her breath stains the frigid air as she closes her eyes, going over the steps the priest taught her in her mind, his guttural voice reminding her that the rite must be performed perfectly.

    She has enough time to go through the sequence once before the quiet beat of the drums begins, and intrudes itself on her thoughts. They grow steadily louder, and her body begins to beat with the rhythm, and she steps into it, letting her heart thrum to the thumping pulse. Slowly and carefully, her feet begin to describe arcs in the snow, and her arms form the letters of prayer written in the strange, branch-like script of the priests.

    The sound of the drums begins to fade, the fire forgotten as she loses herself to the moment, this single primal calling to the gods to bless this warrior that dares intrude upon them with her petty request.

    Faster and faster she moves, her gestures exhibiting her desire and her fury, the power mounting and cascading. The world no longer exists. She no longer exists. The cold no longer exists. Faster, wilder, more furious, her body whirling and contorting into seemingly impossible shapes, she continues, driving her wordless screams to the Otherworld that the gods might take notice.

    Warmth invades her senses, settling in like a contented cat. Then the soreness makes itself known. With a groan, she rolls to her side and curls up, not letting her stiff body stop her from sinking back into the darkness of sleep. She awakens with a start, realizing that she does indeed feel stiff and sore. Her eyes snap open as she searches for the cause. Did she miss it? Her chance to ask the gods for their favor? Sitting up, a dark shape on her arm catches her eye. A black bird stains her otherwise fair skin. Licking her thumb and rubbing it on the mark confirms her thoughts, and her belly churns with excitement. She hadn’t missed it after all!

    1. IsaDragon Avatar
      IsaDragon

      This is really cool! Playing with other ritual types than script- and the entire idea of screaming at the uncaring Otherworld “I am here, notice me!” is such a powerful, resonant thought. I love your descriptions of motion and movement, they feel frenzied. You even included two scenes, I’m impressed!
      This is going to sound strange- is she clothed while this is happening? It’s neither implied she is nor made clear that she isn’t, and it feels important to the story for some reason- maybe the “in the snow” part. Just how dangerous is this for her?
      It surprised me that the first thing she did when she realized she had the mark was try to remove it. It was probably intended to came across as checking if it’s real, not someone playing a very mean prank- but who would play that kind of prank with a god’s mark? I might be reading too much into this, but that little scene added to the rest of the story really drives home an underdog feeling, somebody has something to prove. That’s a really good character to play around with- lots of motivation, everything is personal. Overall, I’m really excited to see more of your work, this is awesome!

      1. Iceburgh69 Avatar
        Iceburgh69

        Whether she’s clothed or not really isn’t that important to the story, just the paint is. So I leave it to you, dear reader. And danke for the review! I’m glad you liked it!

    2. There are so many cool sensory details in this piece! I’m pretty sure you hit all 5 senses, which is rare for stories so short.

      I have a couple minor notes. In “she hadn’t missed it after all,” I would change “hadn’t” to “didn’t” to keep tense consistency. I had to read the whole paragraph a couple times to get what was going on, so I think it would benefit from another pass for clarification, and probably a break into 2 paragraphs. Lastly, if you can squeeze a hint at the MC’s motivation for doing this dance ritual toward the beginning, the payoff and overall story will be stronger.

      Overall, great scene! I like the black bird tattoo a lot!

  17. Lari B. Haven Avatar
    Lari B. Haven

    Only her eyes can see
    By: Larissa (Lari B. Haven)

    The clay and jute house was simple, and the candles lit the night outside. Aromatic and medicinal herbs created the path from which the old lady watched her guest walk towards her.

    She instructed the people in the circle to sing and pray to the saint Mary statue on her altar as she lit her cigarette. That vision wouldn’t be out of place in a church, but the likes of Nanã weren’t welcomed in those places.

    The young woman looked like her, the same dark skin tone and full lips, yet her clothes informed her higher status. A rich and desperate woman, like many she attended in the past.

    “Ma name is Nanã de Maria, take a seat ma daughter.” She gestured for her to sit on the wooden stool. “Tell me, why ya came here?”

    “I was told, you can cure me. I want to bear a child, but every time…” her voice died in an anguished hiccup followed by tears.

    Nanã held her hands reassuringly and spoke: “I don’t promise cures, but can try to see if there is something more.” She took a drag and concentrated. “Close ya eyes and pray, ma daughter. I will see what I can do.”

    Nanã took a long drag on her cigarette and blew the smoke in her direction, dissipating a heavy veil of darkness that covered the girl.

    Nanã grabbed a piece of chalk and drew the complicated circles and lines under her feet and with her other hand circling David’s star with her finger on the woman’s hand.

    The symbols came like second nature to her, whispered from the beyond. They informed what needed to be done: cleansing, protection, healing, invocation and banishment.

    A curse had been laid onto the poor girl. One that demanded innocent blood and that scared Nanã like no other.

    Once the invocation circle was completed, she would have to face her with her own old and yellowed eyes, the devil that was eating that woman’s children in the womb. Nanã prayed for the strength to banish it, before it was too late.

    1. IsaDragon Avatar
      IsaDragon

      Woah. It’s always cool to me when people mess around with faiths I’m more familiar with, and this is just really, really cool. Nanã feels like a grandmother- I think that’s intentional. She takes her faith and does something with it, really helps people, but she’s not allowed in church. I’m not sure if that’s because she’s a little bit witchy or because she has dark skin.
      One tiny grammar thing- Saint Mary is a title and proper noun, so both words are capitalized.
      One more thing- the imagery, of this devil eating a woman’s children in the womb? Fantastic. I really like how Nanã doesn’t even ask why or how she got cursed, that really says some things about the world this takes place in. This is a world where devils are truly evil, not just misunderstood, and that makes this scene feel a lot more important and impactful. Well done!

    2. This story flowed so smoothly. It was pleasant to read even as we learned of the curse and the devil. Definitely the cadence of a bedtime story or something, which is great.

      I super appreciate that you knew how much you could write within the word limit and stuck to it. The story certainly doesn’t feel *finished* (by that I mean you hint at prospective scenes to follow; THIS scene feels polished and done on a technical level), but you leaned into that and found a nice dramatic ending note, instead of trying to cram more content in at the cost of pacing.

      I tend to feel like I’m weirdly not… allowed? to leave things yet-unsatisfied. Thanks for showing me a great example of a story that’s still tense at the end, and “giving me permission” to do the same. I love your writing, Lari!

    3. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      Gosh. While this is not the first time I have seen a curse of infertility in fiction of course, having it be a devil just straight-up eating children in the womb is such a nasty and memorable image. Truly a properly evil curse. I do hope Nana can help banish it from her.

      Speaking of her, she felt like a specific cultural equivilent to a witch, with her knowledge of magic and healing, and the distaste of the church for her practices. I do like characters like this a lot, and Nana is no exception here. Great work! 😀

  18. RVMPLSTLSKN Avatar
    RVMPLSTLSKN

    The Sacredness of Two
    By RVMPLSTLTSKN (The Saga of The Deep One’s Wake)

    “Ziniu was born yellow,” Mazylas read aloud. “The goddess Seimininkas was angry with his mother and refused intervention, but a priest of Oras told the mother to lay Ziniu outside in the sunlight. The yellow went away and Seimininkas was further insulted by Ziniu’s family joining Oras’s devoutry.
    “Vienas, why do I have to read this?” she asked.

    Vienas stirred in the darkest corner of the room. “Because these are our ways.”

    “Klajonas never learned this, to read.”

    “No, she would not learn when I tried to teach her.”

    “Was it this you started with?” Mazylas rustled the scroll. “This is dull. None of these characters are real.”

    “They were.”

    “But not now. They are dead and gone.”

    “They live on in memoriam.” Vienas smiled.

    “The old ways are done, mother. The things I’ve read suggest that people remained after death, but is that true anymore? What happened? Why is the city empty?”

    “You sound like Klajonas.”

    “I need more than a new story, Vienas.”

    The blind priestess was silent, pensive, and Mazylas knew she enjoyed this discourse. A little sacred rite in her days again.

    “Do you know what my name means?”

    Mazylas had assumed it meant ‘mother.’ That was what she meant by it anyway.

    “No.”

    “It means ‘sole.’ My parents were sterile and Ziniu gave them a child when Seimininkas wouldn’t. They had me raised in his temple in gratitude.”

    “Why not tell us this?”

    “I needed you to not know the word ‘mother.’ It’s important.”

    “But father doesn’t mind.”

    “No, Padas doesn’t.” Vienas hummed, “You want Klajonas to read?”

    “I thought you did.”

    Vienas laughed, “No, I am satisfied with one, but there are scrolls about plants and you might help her with those. I don’t want to be poisoned by accident. Oras’s priests were very fond of painting their subjects.”

    “Mother,” Mazylas said.

    Vienas leaned forward and slapped her. “Never use that word. Hide it from your children. Let it become a sacred duty. Promise me.”

    Mazylas saw the tears in her eyes with blurred vision and knew she could never understand. She promised anyway.

    1. Lunabear Avatar
      Lunabear

      I’m curious as to why Vienas doesn’t want Mazylas to use the term ‘mother’. It feels like Vienas carries some anger and shame about the word. maybe because she was the baby that was placed in the sunlight?

      The relationship between them is a bit more lackadaisical for a mother-daughter dynamic. Although, I do understand that Vienas isn’t a traditional person in that regard.

      It’s got some good intensity while also having some loving moments. Although, I will say the ending took me by surprise.

      Your stories always leave me with so much to think about. Very nicely written, RVMP. Thank you for writing and sharing it.

    2. Insania404 Avatar
      Insania404

      There’s always so much meaning in the names of these characters, so naturally I’m curious as to what Mazylas means and whether she chose that name for herself, like Klajonas did.

      Now for the name Mother, I have a few ideas as to why Vienas slapped Mazylas.

      For one, it’s possible that Vienas has contention with that word due to parental issues when she was younger, but I feel that it actually has more to do with the idea that Vienas might not feel that she is qualified to be called Mother. She believes it is a sacred duty, rather than a title simply given to anyone who has a child. This makes a bit more sense in my mind, given the importance of names in this world.

      As always, an incredible story with much to think about. Excellent work RVMPL!

    3. Part of an origin myth, implied god figures, and patterns that suggest consistent naming conventions? My worldbuilding sense is tingling! Do you have more developed in this world? If you do, I’d love to take a peek at what else you’ve got :>

      My one note is that the last paragraph feels a bit weak. Only so much you can do within the word count, but if you can rework it, I think it could end on a really poignant note!

      That’s all for me. I loved the wealth of worldbuilding in the scene, and you did a great job balancing that exposition with entertaining dialogue. Well done 🙂

    4. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      This is an interesting one!!

      The more I read of this universe, the more I can’t help but feel bad for Vienas. It seems like she always gets the short end of the stick. She’s unable to read and enjoy the things she loves, and now her children can’t share and appreciate the those things with her. I was honestly surprised that she seemed to be enjoying the conversation. I guess she was just happy to talk about her beloved stories/history/scriptures, even if that talk is mainly her child insulting them?

      “None of these characters are real.”
      “They were.”
      “But not now. They are dead and gone.”
      “They live on in memoriam.” Vienas smiled.
      “The old ways are done, mother. The things I’ve read suggest that people remained after death, but is that true anymore? What happened? Why is the city empty?”
      —I liked this. Whether the characters feel real really is the key to being interested in a story. Again, it’s so sad that Vienas is trying to keep the old gods alive and can’t even manage that.
      I am curious why people don’t remain after death in this world anymore too.

      “Do you know what my name means?”
      Mazylas had assumed it meant ‘mother.’ That was what she meant by it anyway.”—This was my favorite line, I absolutely loved it. I thought it was super sweet (…until I kept reading).

      “It means ‘sole.’ My parents were sterile and Ziniu gave them a child when Seimininkas wouldn’t. They had me raised in his temple in gratitude.”—Very interesting!! This makes a lot of sense.

      “Why not tell us this?”
      “I needed you to not know the word ‘mother.’ It’s important.
      “Never use that word. Hide it from your children. Let it become a sacred duty. Promise me.”
      —Huh. Much like the other reviewers, I wasn’t expecting that ending.
      Though, my interpretation is that I think it happened because of the combination of two things:
      1. Because of the stuff in “Given a New Name.” Vienas never wanted to be a mother so it stands to reason she wouldn’t particularly like being called by the name. I didn’t read that it had anything to do with her own parental issues like the other reviewers but it’s possible since you called attention to it.
      2. That last bit of dialogue makes me believe that there is something dangerous about the word, about letting the deep one or his sleepers know of it, and/or the relationships between people, that it’s something he’d try to take away if he knows. Maybe? That line feels like it has something to do with the world at large.

      I’m super confused as to what’s happening in the story about Ziniu to be honest XD As well as the paragraph “no I am satisfied with one.”

      I’m curious as to how she learned of the word Mother then, and why Padas is cool with it. It’d make sense if it’s just Vienas’ personal struggle with being a mother, though if so I’m confused as to why she’d say it was important in general. If it is indeed something about the world at large, the important line makes sense, but I’m not sure why Padas would then casually use it.

      The only critique I might have, and this could easily be a misread on my part, is that something feels dissonant about Vienas’ emotions in the piece. Mazylas is saying she doesn’t want to partake in those things that mean everything to Vienas, especially after her sister did the exact same thing, I thought she’d feel sad. But she’s happy. In rereads it makes a little more sense that she just enjoys discussing them. still.
      The slap at the end is of course *meant* to be dissonant and surprising, however it + her dialogue feels…oddly emotionless to me? I think that’s part of what makes it so surprising.
      What comes to mind for adding to that bit is something like
      “‘Mother.’ Mazylas couldn’t help herself.
      The smile vanished from her mother’s face immediately. She leaned forward and slapped her.
      Vienas’ sightless eyes never changed, yet something in them had darkened.
      ‘Never use that word,’ she spat.” Or “she murmured low, that darkness in her words too.”
      Just what comes to mind off the top of my head XD I don’t know if it’s accurate or anything, and I’m not her to tell you how to write your story. Just food for thought.
      I know you definitely didn’t have enough words for that, but a little sentence, or a dialogue or action tag that conveys better how she said it, might help.
      Again, this could easily just be me, and the fact that I like emotions in writing XD

      Great job!!

    5. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      Aww, after hearing about Klajonas, I was deffo curious to hear about the other child they had too (so far, anyways). It seems like Vienas did get the child she wanted as far as reading is concerned, even if Mazylas chafes a bit with those expectations.

      I like everyone else was suprised by Vienas’s reaction to ‘mother’ at the end though. At first I thought Mazylas’s calling of Vienas by her first name was some sort of sass or rebellion towards her mother, but the exact opposite ended up being the case. It very much seems like a personal thing for Vienas – her children do not understand, and perhaps not Padas either. He certainly does not share the opinion, in any case.

      Always like seeing more of this world in any case. Good story! 🙂

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