Writing Group: Do Not Touch (PRIVATE)

Hello, curious and not-so-curious ones alike!

I know it might be tempting, but for your own safety, you need to just leave it alone. What? No, I don’t know what happens, and I’m not sure I want to find out. Of course I’m curious, but— oh alright, fine. But don’t get caught and be careful, because…

This week’s Writing Group prompt is:

Do Not Touch

RULES AND GUIDELINES BELOW!
Make sure you scroll down and read them if you haven’t! You may not be eligible if you don’t!

I’m sure we’ve all been there. Walking around the grocery store, or any store, really, and we’re told by mom or dad to not touch anything. But we really really wanted those fruit snacks, and that toy looks so cool.

Of course, this doesn’t apply to just sweets and toys. You could choose to apply it to a new employee in a factory, and maybe he witnesses his coworkers messing around and playing chicken with a piece of machinery sporting a nice big “KEEP LIMBS CLEAR OF MOVING PARTS” sign. Does this person partake in said dangerous shenanigans, or do they go about their day? Perhaps you’d choose to write about an escaped convict attempting to outrun their pursuers, and in their rush to get over the fence, they don’t see the sign warning them, “DANGER: HIGH VOLTAGE”. Or perhaps they did see it, and had already managed to turn it off, surprising their pursuers when they make it over without electrocution. Maybe this prompt can simply be about a child who keeps poking their mother’s potted cactus despite being told to leave it alone.

Maybe you could choose to write about a kleptomaniac and what their world and impulses are like, how they just have to have things, even if it means punishment. Perhaps you choose the bratty child who read the “STILL WET” sign by the painted wall and decided to fingerpaint the unpainted wall opposite. What about the two siblings who sit together, but are always yelling at each other “Don’t touch me!”, yet neither one will move away? Or maybe you choose to write about the one witch or warlock who decided to ignore all warnings and touch that magic stone anyway, just to see what really happens. Or perhaps said witch or warlock don’t touch it, per se, but accidentally cough, sneeze, or even breathe on it. What then?

Go forth, and show us what it would be like to either heed or ignore these warnings. Is the world worse or better off, or did nothing change? Did everything change? 

Well… there’s only one way to find out.

—Shawna

Remember, this is part of our weekly Writing Group stream! Submit a little piece following the rules and guidelines below, and there’s a chance your entry will be read live on stream! In addition, we’ll discuss it for a minute and give you some feedback.

Tune into the stream this Saturday at 7:00pm CST to see if you made the cut!

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Comments

51 responses to “Writing Group: Do Not Touch (PRIVATE)”

  1. Tale Foundry Avatar
    Tale Foundry

    Ah, Siblings…
    by DukkiFluff

    She sat quietly, sketchbook resting on her lap and her pencil dancing across it.

    Clang! Swish! “HYAH!” “Growrowrowrrr…”

    He laughed as another enemy went down. “Did you see that?”

    She looked up. “No, I didn’t. What happened?”

    “I killed that monster and he spun, like, three times before landing with his butt in the air.” He laughed.

    She joined his laughter with a small chuckle of her own. “Darn, wish I’d seen it.”

    She returned to her drawing. He paused his game and moved beside her, peeking at the drawing. “Wuzzat?”

    “A dragon I’m working on for a friend. Can you move over?”

    “I’m barely touching you.”

    She sighed, continuing to draw. He watched… for about two minutes before—

    “Can you PLEASE move over? You’re breathing on me!”

    “No, I’m not!”

    Their older sister poked her head out from the kitchen to see what the commotion was.

    “Don’t touch me!” She demanded.

    “I’m not!” He returned.

    The elder sister grinned, placing her tea on the table. “Don’t touch you, huh?”

    The younger sister looked up, her eyes wide with “oh no…” written all over her face.

    The elder grinned wider, lunging forward and trapping the younger in a hug from behind the couch.

    The younger let out a squawk of displeasure, but the elder just laughed and pulled their brother into the hug.

    He laughed, hugging his sisters both.

    The younger sister pulled her knees up and attempted to ball herself to avoid the contact.

    The elder let go, and the moment she did, the younger got up and retreated to one of the armchairs against the wall. “There! Get me now!!”

    “Is that a challenge?” The brother grinned, getting up.

    “NO!! No it is not!!”

    The elder laughed, sipping her tea. “Watch your words, kiddo. We’re your siblings. Anything can be a challenge.”

    “What is going on up here?” their mother asked as she entered the kitchen.

    The elder smiled. “Nothing~”

    “They’re touching me!!”

    “No we’re not, I’m playing a game and she’s drinking tea. You’re in a chair. No one is touching you.”

    The younger deadpanned. “Boi.”

    1. MasaCur Avatar
      MasaCur

      “Go away!” “I’m not touching you, though.” “MOM! He’s on my side of the sofa!” These are things I remember well from my childhood. This is a very relatable story. I know you submitted late, but it was such an appreciated story, so I thought I’d drop a review. Nice one, Dukk.

  2. Twangyflame0 Avatar
    Twangyflame0

    The New Guy (Station 31)
    By Twangyflame0

    “So why are we not allowed to go into the first floor bathroom?” The new employee questioned his fellow cashier.

    I sighed, wishing they would stop asking questions. “Just… don’t. Upper Management told us not to go in there, just like how we are not supposed to press these buttons on the register.”

    “These on–”

    I smacked their hand away. “Yes! Those! Jeez, do you want to get us fired?”

    “Well, I don’t know what the heck I’m supposed to do!” They threw their arms up in the air in exasperation. “I got teleported from the side of the road after picking up an ad for a quick and easy job and now I’m here! In the middle of nowhere!”

    “Well, now you know how the rest of us feel.” I leaned on the counter. “I already had a job before this, but now I have to deal with that saw-faced freak whenever his truck pulls up for a stop and I have to hear him drone on and on about his kids.”

    The new employee looked annoyed at my tone, but I didn’t care. I had followed all the stupid guidelines in this pocket dimension for what feels like months and I have had just about enough. I was tired, upset, and I haven’t gotten that paid day yet.
    We both freezed as the front bell rang and a customer walked. It was wolfman, not particularly common around this corner of existence. He got a jumbo pack of meat sticks and then headed for us.

    I put on my best smile as I greeted them. “Hello, how may I help you?”

    He grumbled back as he got his wallet. I kept smiling at them as I typed on the cash register. I froze as I looked down at the wrong button I pressed.

    “Son of a–” I said before my body liquidated to the floor and I was staring up at the new guy.

    The new guy pursed his lips before turning back to the customer. “Sorry about that, they are new around here. Let me ring you up.”

    1. Tale Foundry Avatar
      Tale Foundry

      This is a hilarious take on the prompt! I love the idle banter back and forth, and it absolutely feels like the way convenience store employees talk when no one is in the store.

      I will point out that you switch back and forth between past and present tense a bit, which makes it confusing.

      [The new employee questioned his fellow cashier.] this makes it sound like he’s speaking to someone else, but then the next line is in first person, making it appear that there is 3 people when (I assume) there is only 2.

      [We both freezed as the front bell rang] this should be [froze].

      [I froze as I looked down at the wrong button I pressed.] the [wrong] here isn’t necessary, as the next part shows that it was the wrong button.

      I’m also a bit confused as to who the “new guy” is, because one minute, it’s the new person, but the final line tells us that the “new guy” is the one in first person perspective, as though the two have switched places.

  3. jesse fisher Avatar
    jesse fisher

    Papa Bear
    By Jesse Fisher looked over by Edward

    “I understand why she did not want to show off our child to her parents.” The well dressed barkeep commented to himself.

    His eyes flicker from the glass he was cleaning, to the egg resting on a cushion within arm’s reach.

    “Maybe it is just she doesn’t want to risk something happening to them in a world where neither of us can control it.”

    The barkeep both heard and felt the arrival of the next patron to this place. A monster of a shadow that seemed larger than the room around them.

    “Welcome to…” The keep cut himself off as his two colored eyes shifted from passive windows to laser focus.

    The sound of building materials and groans as the massive patron’s digit was almost touching the two tone egg. The eyes of a parent and god looked upon an ignorant beast that seemed annoyed.

    “Oy, slave.” It called in a poor imitation of a ‘masters’ voice. “Fetch me your master so I may show him how to properly handle a lesser being.”

    At this the bar began to creek and groan as the owner was right there and was done. It was at this moment that the bar seemed to fall away leaving the rude patron, the keeper, and the egg. A void much like the outside of the bar.

    Before the patron could try to strike the keeper as more boards and other material began to contain it. The patron tried to break out of the structures to no avail.

    “You walk into my realm.” The keeper began not noticing the egg moving in his arms. “Wanting to take something that was not your’s. And then insulting me and assuming my role.”

    The egg cracked and broke away from the hatchling in it’s father’s arms.

    “And you dare to even think about touching my child.” At this rage cast out the patron.

    The bar returned to normal, and then Korun looked down to his arms.

    In that moment shock and joy filled him, then a quiet realization.

    “I’ve got to get the clothes.”

  4. Shavathan Avatar
    Shavathan

    A touch of Paralysis
    By Shaviathan

    My family had just left for a flight so I was alone in the house. I felt a little tired, so I laid down on the couch in my living room for a bit of a nap.

    An hour later I woke up in a half state where your not quite awake but you’re not exactly asleep either, a state that blurs reality and dreams together. A gap started to form in the fireplace wall and shifted into a desert trail. On this trail was the silhouette of a man in a hat walking towards my living room. Suddenly I heard a voice inside my head begin to explain what I was witnessing. It wasn’t my own voice, more like that of a narrator. He said “Two men walk eternally endless and converging paths.” As he spoke a second trail appeared behind me with another shadow man. “But what are they seeking?” continued the Narrator.

    “Him.” A malicious female voice whispered in my ear. This wasn’t a voice in my head, this sounded like it was in the room with me. I felt the sneer of a toothy grin and the piercing stare of milky white deranged eyes inches from my head.

    Instinctively I tried to throw a punch or leap out of the couch, but nothing happened. I was paralyzed, even my fingers wouldn’t budge. The only thing I could do was scream for help. Yet when I tried to scream all that came out was a noise similar to that of a dying man’s last gasp of air.

    After that I jolted fully awake with a deep inhale. I figured the whole thing was just a nightmare, but then I heard my phone. It was sitting on the couch next to my head, but I had left it on the other side of the room. I’m no sleep walker, so how did it get here? I went for a walk to clear my head, but I couldn’t shake this feeling that there was some black cloaked specter with scythe-like claws and the same devilish grin hovering behind me.

    1. Twangyflame0 Avatar
      Twangyflame0

      Oooooo, I liked this one a lot. It kind of uses the idea of sleep paralysis while giving a cheeky nod to the possibility of the nightmare being real. I also like the “nope” factor of the creature that was seen in the sleep paralysis. This story was really creepy and really awesome. I kind of want to see a continuation but this works wonderfully as a one off. Very well done.

    2. jesse fisher Avatar
      jesse fisher

      Yep this is some Twilight zone/Night gallery type of thing going on here. A realm of sleep or is it a realm between unnatural and supernatural. Also the fact you have a narrator in this piece is not just ‘internal’ but forms another person.

  5. Glaceon373 Avatar
    Glaceon373

    Putting A Hand Out
    (Students of the DiamondBridge Academy Universe)
    by Carrie (Glaceon373)

    “Ms. Roselyn Halcyia, I’m glad you’re here!” Mr. Paqulamar beamed at his favorite student.

    “Of course!” Roselyn smiled, adjusting her backpack. “You said you needed my help?”

    “Yes. We have a new student today, and we need someone to give him a tour. Registration for him has been, well…” he sighed, adjusting his long while hair with an obsidian-tinted hand. “My husband and I are family friends with his new family, so we knew where some of his paperwork details weren’t exactly accurate in some… glaring ways.”

    “…Oh dear.”

    “Yes. It has not been ideal. But here,” he pushed open the main office door, “let’s introduce you, shall we?”

    Strangely, Mr. Nicklescribe wasn’t present in his office, but the new student was. And his appearance was… Roselyn had to force her face into a pleasant expression.

    Elves looked good with long , flowing white hair. They didn’t look nearly as good bald.

    “Feleron, this is Roselyn. She will be showing you around the school today, and tomorrow you start your classes.” And with that, Mr. Paqulamar left the room.

    “Hello!” Roselyn stepped forward, a huge smile on her face. She held out a hand for him to shake.

    “Uh…” Feleron looked anxiously at Roselyn’s outstretched hand. “I don’t… do handshakes.”

    “Oh!” She awkwardly put it down. “That’s fine. Come on, the school’s not that big, this won’t take long.”

    ~~~

    They cleared a few hallways, Roselyn pointing out important classrooms and office locations. Feleron barely made a sound, instead walking with .

    “Uh, hey, do you mind if I, uh…” Roselyn took a deep breath, “mind if I ask you—”

    “Please don’t.”

    “Oh.”

    “S—sorry, just…” he sighed. “It’s a touchy subject. It’s all touchy subjects. I’m not really supposed to talk about stuff.”

    “…oh.”

    “I also don’t want to, if that’s okay.”

    “It’s perfectly fine! No worries!”

    In fact, to Roselyn, it was more than fine. A new student who didn’t do handshakes, emotional vulnerability, or cave when questioned? The Pack would avoid him like the plague.

    Which meant they’d avoid anyone who was associated with him, which was exactly what she needed.

    1. Twangyflame0 Avatar
      Twangyflame0

      Ooooo, I like how much you changed the meaning of the prompt. Instead of physically touching something, it’s a metaphorical touching thing. I don’t know why, but I also just feel the need to touch Feleron’s head. Maybe that was your plan all along? I’m curious what this Pack is, I’m going to guess a bunch of werewolves, but it would be interesting if I was wrong. Anywho, I really enjoyed reading this. Very well done, Glaceon.

    2. jesse fisher Avatar
      jesse fisher

      Well that was a turn, like it had the original idea and then turned to more self survival. Most of us have been in that situation, where the bullies are more like feral beast. Also some of that might be literal in this world, don’t know looks interesting.

      Still cool that Roselyn is trying to make new friends, even if she is not doing it for the right reasons.

  6. Matthew (Handsome Johanson) Avatar
    Matthew (Handsome Johanson)

    Don’t Boop the Snoot
    by Matthew (Handsome Johanson)

    My eyes lit up as we approached the pet store.

    “Yes! Finally!”

    My mom laughed. “Yup, now don’t get too excited or you’ll scare the animals.” She smiled and patted my head.

    We headed inside and I was hit with the smell of animals. It was… grocer than I was expecting, but I was still very excited!

    “What do you want to see first, Micheal?” My mom asked as we slowly browsed the aisles.

    “I think…” I looked around. There were fluffy dogs, slinky cats, and loud parrots. “C-can we look at the birds?”

    My mom smiles “Sure, Micheal. Say goodbye to the kitties.”

    “Bye!!”

    We then headed to the birds, they had several pretty parrots, but they were too loud. I shook my head.

    “It’s ok Michael. They aren’t always this loud. They are just excited to see you.”

    I frowned. “M-maybe there is an animal that is a bit quieter.”

    It was then that one of the employees noticed us. “If you’d like something a bit quieter, may I suggest something?”

    I looked to mom, who gave a reassuring smile, and looked back to the employee. “Sure!”

    He took us to the reptile section and gestured to an empty looking tank,

    “What’s this?”

    “This is a ball python. See him under the log?” The employee pointed the sleeping snake out.

    “A pie-fon? Isn’t that dangerous?”

    The employee smiled “He’s a very well behaved boy. He’ll only bite if he’s scared, and he doesn’t think you are on the menu.”

    I nodded and peered back into the tank. “I wish he was easier to see.”

    The employee smiled. “Would you like to meet him?”

    I nodded and he took the sleepy snake out from his cave. The snake instinctively wrapped its body around the employee’s hand and began to flick his tongue curiously.

    “What’s his name?”

    “He’s called Spaghetti.” The employee laughs. “Would you like to hold him?”

    “Yes please!”

    He then handed the snake to me. “Just remember not to poke his head. They don’t like that.” I nodded and turned to my mom.

    “Can we keep him?”

    1. Glaceon373 Avatar
      Glaceon373

      Matthew, your title alone made my day a hundred times better. Thank you for those amazing four words.

      Anyways, the rest of your story is also absolutely adorable. Stories from the perspectives of children can sometimes be a challenge to get right, but I think you nailed it. Spaghetti is also perfect in every way, thank you for jamming this story full of cute moments. There were a few moments where you could have formatted some things a little differently to make your point clearer, but other than that, this piece is absolutely glorious. Great job!

  7. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
    i-prefer-the-term-antihero

    [Removed]

    1. RVMPLSTLTSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLTSKN

      Tagback!

      Aaaaahhhhh! This is good! The simplicity of the prose really drives the depression and other unhealthy aspects home. The little flourishes may actually detract from the emotional weight of the piece.

      One nitpick. The parentheses felt extraneous. You’ve already setup that the prose is his thoughts, i don’t think you need to emphasize the interruptions and accusations.

      Really good job, Anti!

    2. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      Awwwww. I love how gentle Lizzie is with Victor. She’s clearly confronting him about something she knows is not right, but despite the shock and no doubt horror of seeing what Victor did to himself, she still stays calm and even asks his consent for her to see the wounds rather than forcing it. She’s very matter-of-fact here – stuff like ‘Something’s wrong with you. Well, we all know that.’ and ‘You did this to yourself.’ makes that very clear. But that is likely what Victor needed here too – a bluntness that he could not hide himself from.

      I also liked the way you could see Lizzie’s thought process advance through this piece, even though she’s not the perspective character. She went from complete ignorance about this specific issue, to picking up on Victor’s reluctance to show his body, to making deduction after deduction about what he had done to himself before he even shows it himself. A mind worthy of a detective there – I can see why she’s an intellectal peer of Victor for sure.

      Great tale Antihero! Always nice to see a smart dialogue piece like this. 😀

    3. ThatWeirdFish Avatar
      ThatWeirdFish

      Tiny Nitpick: Lizzie’s name switches to Daisy partway through. (Unless there are three characters in this scene, in that case, disregard this)

      Other than that, I loved this story. I like how you used parentheses to signify thoughts. The dialog also sold their relationship to me. You could feel the tension in Brian’s (I assume Victor under a false name) voice as he tried to hide his shame. I also like how Lizzie is compassionate to Brian, despite his scars.

      … Now my macabre mind is wondering if it was just straight stitching or if he embroidered himself.

      Great work, and keep writing!

  8. WolfsbaneX Avatar
    WolfsbaneX

    “I Am Untouchable”
    By Hemming Sebastian Bane

    Wear brown. Never use alleys. Keep your head down. Never talk unless asked a question. Never lie. Never EVER lie. My father taught me those rules. My mother smiled in approval when I repeated them back. They believed they would keep me safe. For a while, they did. That was until I reached my thirteenth year.

    At the time, Mother was pregnant. Father was working the pyre, so I had to go to market. My feet knew the way: just walk forward until soft dirt turned to packed dirt, then turn right. And there she was, standing in front of the rice cart. Her white fur shimmered in the morning sun. It was the whitest thing I’d ever seen. She seemed like a cloud. Then I felt nothing but shame. A cloud could never be with mud. How could it? It was impossible.

    “I’m sorry. Am I in your way?”

    Her voice was a soft bell, a ringing that cut to the very soul. I found my tongue tied. I couldn’t breathe. My heart was continuous thunder.

    “No!” I managed.

    I could feel hot shame in my cheeks. Then she smiled. Not a sly smile like kitsune usually have. A genuine smile. One that calmed the storm inside my chest.

    “I-I mean… you’re not in my way.”

    “Tch, kids today have no manners!” a voice said from the next stall over.

    Suddenly, I was on the ground. My head was a drum with a madman trapped inside. My ears rang. She was yelling at him. Why? This wasn’t unusual.

    “You can’t just throw rocks at people!” I heard her say.

    So that’s what happened. I didn’t get up; usually the second rock was bigger.

    “My lady, forgive this humble one, but she is not a person,” the vendor replied.

    “Nonsense! Miss, can you stand?”

    Slowly, I got to my feet. Then, the kitsune touched my face. My gods, she WAS a cloud. But…I’m unclean. I could feel the market’s eyes on us. I’d tainted the lord’s daughter.

    “I’m Soryung! What’s your name?” she asked.

    “Kyona..”

    “Nice to meet you, Kyona.”

    1. Lari B.Haven Avatar
      Lari B.Haven

      Really interesting setting. I loved how the world was constructed, even if only by clues from the character’s perspectives.
      Being “unseen” and “untouchable” are things that definitely hard to take out someone’s mind, after being taught for so long.
      This makes me wonder if Kyona has some sort of curse, or is from a certain social status that makes others being so hostile towards them.
      Great Story Wolf!

    2. MasaCur Avatar
      MasaCur

      I like this take on the untouchable caste. Curious as to what transgressions the family has to do to be subjected to that social stigma. I’m guessing that it might have to do with the father “working at the pyre,” and therefore handling corpses.
      That the characters are not human, and rather kitsune is what really sparked my interest in this setting. It seems like such a simple thing, but to see this kind of behavior mirrored in a non-human society, and that children, especially the child of someone from a sheltered background, wouldn’t know any better.
      Very nicely done, Wolfsbane.

  9. Grim Tutelage (Haloed Sky)
    By: Frei

    “I don’t know what you’re suggesting, X’in,” came the timid one.

    “I’m suggesting to turn that analysis inward, Vlu,” came the other, carrying the same tone in mocking fashion.

    Vlu’xilkik shook her head. “How could I do that to them? The poor Rishl -”

    “Txak,” X’invinh parried, stuttering the flow of Vlu’s words. It was a harsh word, X’in knew. One that the soft one used sparingly. Rishl were the ones still asleep. Txak were the dead; the failures. It stung the heart as the tongue popped, and shamed the antennae that heard it.

    “X’in…You’re asking me to desecrate them. To carve and smash them open, and for what? A maybe?”

    “For the sake of the ones still asleep, yes.” X’in rested her hand on Vlu’s shoulder, at first missing, and then reassessing the distance. Her vision never settled, and only vague shapes made it through her eyes. Vlu jolted at the contact, resisting the urge to flinch away.

    “I know that they weigh on you. You’re so very strong for that, and it hurts me more to see you boil in your own grief and guilt and blame. I know you’re strong enough to do this, Vlu. And you need to do it; for them.”

    X’in waved her other hand towards the opening of the Tsa Valeer. Vlu’s eyes settled on the cavern. X’in’s grip on her shoulder was tight. Did she not want to lose her? Was it entrapment to this sinister end? Or was it merely the grip of a blind woman that found contact with another person? X’in leaned on her in many ways, from the time of her rising from the sleeping-sludge, to this day on the surface. X’in needed her teaching. Her language. Her eyes.

    What if X’in woke before Vlu did? Would they both be here? Or would X’in fumble and let Vlu drown in stasis? Too many hypotheticals…But one path yielded comfort, even if it was gruesome. Comfort in control. Any mistakes she made would be her fault, alone. Sour comfort…

    With a trembling sigh, “…We’ll need a blade. A-And a hammer.”

    1. Lari B.Haven Avatar
      Lari B.Haven

      There’s a tone of solemnity and prohibiton in this tale, Vlu seems so heartbroken, and confused about what they are about to do.
      Mess up with the dead is usually not seen with good eyes, given the advice X’in is giving, a bit dangerous (?)
      Great story Frei

    2. WolfsbaneX Avatar
      WolfsbaneX

      I really like the characters you are presenting here. The two have a symbiotic relationship of sorts. However, I feel that your heavy use jargon/in-world terminology takes away from the piece overall. I think it would work better in a longer piece, but here I’m just confused and uncertain what is going on. I’m still interested in this story and I hope you continue it.

      1. Yes, I was a little afraid of that. I’m a bit too eager and need to save the terminology for longer-form writing. I’ll be sure to spare the usage in the future. Thanks for the comment.

  10. MasaCur Avatar
    MasaCur

    An Upcoming Lesson in Pain
    By MasaCur

    Cassidy was thrown roughly into a chair. Her head was aching and her thoughts were foggy from the blow she took.

    “Get her tied up; I’m contacting the big man.” The voice was rough and gravelly.

    Cassidy felt her arms being yanked behind her, and a rope strapped her forearms to the back of the wooden chair, before being looped around her wrists. A whistle sounded in front of her, and she clamped her eyes shut, then blinked them a couple times. She saw a large thuggish man manipulating a dial on a box. The whistling seemed to come from a bullhorn speaker on the front.

    “Doctor Van Nilsson, are you there?” he asked.

    The voice coming back was scratchy, but familiar. “I’m here. What is the status report?”

    “Found a redhead poking around near here,” he answered.

    “Was there a man with her?”

    “Nah, just found her.”

    “Get her to tell you where Agent Doyle is. I’ll leave the means of your interrogation upon your own discretion.”

    “Aye, you got it, Guv,” the thug said.

    “Leave me connected. I want to hear how this goes,” Van Nilsson’s voice added.

    Cassidy’s cognitive functions started to clear up rapidly as she heard Van Nilsson’s voice. She pulled at the binds on her arms, but she was fairly tightly bound.

    “No point struggling,” another voice said behind her. “You’re not getting free.”

    Cassidy craned her neck to see another thug behind her. She kept her eyes on him as he circled around in front of her. He knelt down and tried to tie up her ankle, but she brought her other foot down heavily, breaking his nose.

    “Crissakes, just hold her down.” The first thug reached into the coal stove, and pulled out a glowing hot poker.

    The second thug wiped blood from his nose and circled back behind Cassidy. “Sassy little bitch. You’re going to regret this.”

    Cassidy took a deep breath. “I’m going to warn you once. If either of you two idiots touch me again, what I do to you will feel like the wrath of God.”

    1. RVMPLSTLTSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLTSKN

      I’m not sure if this is a prequel or sequel piece to the ballroom piece a few weeks ago, but it’s a fun way to see the same characters interacting again.

      I found the paragraph where she breaks the guy’s nose confusing. Is she suspended somehow? I assume you meant that she kicked him, but that’s not what’s described. Either way, this is a good piece of escalation for the story.

      Good job!

    2. Lari B.Haven Avatar
      Lari B.Haven

      Cassidy seems to be a really tough girl. I have pity of the people that are after her.
      Is a really action packed and fast paced story, I loved the escalation of action.
      Loved the story Masa!

    3. WolfsbaneX Avatar
      WolfsbaneX

      Yes! Mess them up, Cassidy! I really enjoyed this piece. I really enjoy how you characterized all of the players in this piece. If there’s something I think could be better, it’s some of the word choice for the fight scene could be snappier. The beginning was a little clunky, but it didn’t take away from my enjoyment of the piece. Nice job!

  11. ThatWeirdFish Avatar
    ThatWeirdFish

    Untouchable (Tales from Alsair)
    By ThatWeirdFish

    The monk’s voice was gentle as the spring wind as she spoke. “What is your name, my child?”

    “Vennik,” The bandaged man said.

    “What brings you here to our Abbey?”

    Vennik shrugged. “Just some food and water.” He stiffened at the whispers of the initiates pointing at him from across the room. “I don’t need much.”

    “I see,” Said the monk. She frowned as a fit of coughing shook Vennik.

    “It’s…” He hacked, “it’s not what you think.” He waved a hand apologetically. “I’m not-”

    “You are.” The monk stood, hands resting on the table firmly. “For the safety of the others in our care, I must ask you to leave. Sister Mara will bring you what you requested once you are outside our gates.”

    “I assure you it’s not-!”

    “Leave. Now.” She nodded at the guard beside her.

    “No. You-you don’t understand.” Vennik pleaded from his knees as the guard approached. “It’s not the plague, I swear. Please, just let me stay!”

    “I cannot take that chance.”

    “Have mercy on a dying man!” Vennik cried. “Please! Have mercy!” The guard brandished their tall shield and moved in front of the monk. They pointed their spear in the man’s face.

    “Vennik, may your soul find swift passage to the moon fields.”

    “No! No, please! I beg you!” He cried as he was forced out of the hall by spearpoint.

    Mara found the broken man weeping outside the gates. His bandages were soiled from open sores and spilled blood. She wanted to gag at the putrid stench oozing off of him, yet she swallowed and stepped closer.

    “Vennik?”

    He looked up at her with his good eye, the other bloodshot with a dark ring around the iris. “Yes, Sister?”

    “I have brought you some provisions. They should last you until you reach the next town.” She handed him the waterskin and sack of food.

    “Thank you, Sister,” He muttered, eyes misty.

    She smiled and gingerly placed a hand on his trembling shoulder. “Be blessed, my Brother.”

    Tears spilled a thousand gratitudes down his face.

    1. RVMPLSTLTSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLTSKN

      This is a so sweet! You did an excellent job with the emotional stakes here, Fish. The story flows well and there’s nothing clunky in the wordchoice.

      Two nitpicks:
      • ‘Abby’ is a name, ‘abbey’ a building.
      • Most dialogue tags use a comma instead of a period. “‘Vennik,’ the bandaged man said.” “‘I see,’ said the monk.”

      Fantastic job!

    2. Lari B.Haven Avatar
      Lari B.Haven

      Another story were I truly enjoyed the setting. I love how the monks inside the monastery treat the man, as the opposite of how the Mara treats him.
      It’s clear that a plague is a serious thing, that should be avoided at any cost, but Mara gave what he needed with kindness, instead of fear or agression.
      Even if she didn’t felt comfortable with the man’s appearance, she was still way more kind and understanding, than anyone inside the temple.
      Great story Fish!

    3. Shavathan Avatar
      Shavathan

      This was very well put together. The reactions of the monk and the guard were fitting for a time period like this(if there was a time period to this, I was picturing something like the 1300’s during the bubonic plague outbreak.) The gesture from Mara at the end was nice but I get the feeling it might have resulted in her becoming infected and, by extension, put the whole monastery at risk.
      One thing I noticed, ‘“I see,” Said the monk’ can be shortened down to just “I see.” as the two have been talking back and forth for a bit now, plus the following sentence still implies that it’s her talking.

  12. Lari B.Haven Avatar
    Lari B.Haven

    Practical learner
    By Larissa (Lari B. Haven)

    Haven yawned, almost falling asleep from boredom. She had been re-reading the same text and holding a crystal ball for the past half an hour.

    “What was I supposed to be learning again?”

    “Magic,” Jack responded, flipping another page from the book he was reading.”Don’t even complain. I’m teaching you the way I learn it. “

    “Riveting!” She whispered, looking back at the ball. “How do I make this intangible?”

    Jack was not a terrible master magician; something excited Haven to learn, but reading scrolls and compendiums all day was becoming a torture.

    She dropped the ball back on the table and crossed her arms. The man sighed and went to his apprentice’s table. Standing behind her, Jack glanced over the book and her annotations.

    “May I?” he asked.

    Haven nodded and lifted her hands to him. He locked his fingers on hers and caught the ball again.

    “Everything in magic has ‘boundaries’, Haven.” He turned her head to hear. “What are the boundaries of this object? What is this object?”

    “A crystal ball,” she replied, annoyed.

    “And what is its current state?”

    “Solid?”

    “We don’t want to be solid anymore.” He held her hands around the globe. “The same way I asked your permission to hold your hands, I want you to ask it to change its state. Imagine and change it.”

    She closed her eyes and imagined the ball becoming so transparent it would disappear. Jack let go of her hands and watched over her shoulders. She felt silly, but asked anyway:

    “Crystal ball, can you let me change you?”

    Nothing seemed to happen. Until the ball warmed. After a few seconds, the heat became too intense for her to hold it, and she dropped the ball back to the table. The ball slipped right through the hardwood. Like it never existed as a physical object.

    “Intangible!” She looked back at him excitedly. “I got it, Jack! It went right through it!”

    Jack giggled, amused. He would need to change his approach. His apprentice was definitely a practical learner.

    1. RVMPLSTLTSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLTSKN

      SO IT IS JACK! O.O

      This is an interesting piece because of the other pieces we’ve seen these two with lately. Has he been shot yet? Have they danced yet? I’m very interested in these things Lari!

    2. berserker47 Avatar
      berserker47

      Sweet! I really like your take on the prompt, I am very happy that someone interpreted it in another way than “you are not supposed to touch this”, but, literally being unable to touch the thing(s). I haven’t read too much of your other pieces, so I am not that familiar with the characters, but it certainly is something I would like to read more of. Which I can, in previous prompts. ^^

    3. ThatWeirdFish Avatar
      ThatWeirdFish

      Such a sweet story Lari! I love the character dynamics between Haven and Jack. Not only do they read as teacher and student, but as good friends. I’d like to read more magic shenanigans with these two. Oh dear, pyromancy is gonna be fun. (If it even gets to that, I don’t know the magic system in your universe.)

      Anyroad, it is a great, heartwarming read that leaves me wanting for more. Keep up the great work!

    4. MasaCur Avatar
      MasaCur

      This was a fun one, Lari. I especially liked the part with Haven literally asking the crystal ball if she could change it, no matter how silly that proposition sounded. The magic that Jack seems to be teaching her is interesting.
      I also appreciate the relationship dynamic between Haven and Jack, with Jack trying to teach her magic in his own way, only to see that it doesn’t fit with her personality. Haven just gets bored of it, and in the end, Jack realizes that she just processes the information in a different way, so he has to alter his approach.
      And frankly, the way you described Haven turning the crystal ball intangible was cool. Nice job.

  13. Iceburgh69 Avatar
    Iceburgh69

    When Going Sideways Goes Sideways.
    By: Iceburgh69

    The hatch chime goes off, announcing the presence of someone on the other side. Bastion puts down the keepsake on the table and answers, admitting his commander and friend, Erick. The smaller man enters as the giant sits down on the chair.

    “I saw the mess in the bay,” Erick says.

    “Aff. Two of the new trainees dared each other to paint a mark on my armor. It did not go well for them,” the giant replies.

    “I saw them cleaning it with toothbrushes.”

    “It is a shame, really. The purple is growing on me.” Bastion nudges a step stool in place so the smaller man can climb up onto a chair. “They do have some potential, however. Perhaps direct them into investigation and espionage. They had almost made it.”

    Erick completes his climb and nods. “We’ll have to see how things go, and hope that their curiosity doesn’t get them exploded all over something. What’s this?” He pokes at the button on the keepsake.

    “What is wha-. DO NO-!” As the words die on his lips, the lid springs open and a hologram activates, showing off a woman in…risque attire and dancing in such a way that she is easily the center of attention.

    Erick can only stare as Bastion closes the lid. “Ok. I wasn’t prepared for that.” He looks at the giant, whose pale skin makes his blush stand out all the more. “Crush of yours? I didn’t think the human body could bend that way!” Bastion can only cough in embarrassment as he puts the hologram on a shelf to Erick’s cackling chuckle. “Want to send a reply?”

    Bastion looks quickly at Erick, but sees only humor and sincerity.

    1. RVMPLSTLTSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLTSKN

      This piece feels like a military piece, which it is, so you nailed that. Good job.

      Did you intend to shift tenses after Erick speaks? Bastion’s dialogue is the last of the purely present tense.

    2. berserker47 Avatar
      berserker47

      I really like the turn of the story. The first part implied that the „Do not touch“ was assigned to the armor, but instead, to Bastion’s Hologram. Both the first and the later part intrigued me, and I would love to read how the story goes on. The part where you wrote “dancing in such a way that she is easily the center of attention” may be a bit weird, considering that the hologram is the center of attention regardless.

    3. Shavathan Avatar
      Shavathan

      This is a very familiar gag from cartoons, the “That’s from my private collection” kind of scene. At first I was expecting the whole story to go into further detail about what the rookies did or were about to blow up with the armor, but then Erick finds the keepsake and the whole scene shifts from a standard military workplace conversation to an embarrassingly awkward situation. One thing caught my eye, “DO NO-” should probably be “DON’T!” unless Bastion is so furious at Erick for touching his keepsake that he’s emphasizing each word.

      1. Iceburgh69 Avatar
        Iceburgh69

        Bastion doesn’t use contractions.

  14. berserker47 Avatar
    berserker47

    Grasping time
    by berserker47

    Adlain took a sharp turn to the right. His pursuers weren’t really good at their job. Normally, Adlain was the one who chases, so he had an idea of how bad they actually were. Regardless, they surely were dangerous. Just not for Adlain. It was a really hot day. The asphalt of the street had soaked itself with heat for quite some time now. Sweat ran down Adlains face. He didn’t need to run, he would get away from those hopeless cases easily.

    The reason why he was pursued, however, was way more serious than the people hired to do so. He had stolen something. Something rather dangerous, let’s say. Dangerous, that is, if you are careless with it. The object in question was a time bomb. Not a conventional time bomb, but one that would… explode time. Way more accurate than the name “time bomb” for a regular one anyways.

    The small alleyway in which Adlain was walking didn’t leave much space for his pursuers. Rookies. Adlain was shocked what kind of security these lab rats employed. He had thought this whole activity would be a bit more… fun. But no, the part of getting the bomb was easy, and the part of getting away with the bomb wasn’t even difficult. To be honest, Adlain was a fair bit disappointed. The time bomb in his hand ticked, like a clock. It really looked like one.

    Tick-Tack, Tick-Tack.

    To come think of it, Adlain should have worn gloves. Retrospectively viewed, he definitely should have. The bomb started ticking faster, alongside everything else, faster, faster, tick-tack-tick-tack-tick…

    His handed warped away from him, faster, faster, tinier. His head felt incredibly light, and his feet felt so slow, dragging on the ground, shuffling over the asphalt below. Everything twisted, and then, suddenly, it all imploded in a hot, white light.

    He really shouldn’t have taken something with a “Do not touch” sign on top of it in the first place.

    1. Iceburgh69 Avatar
      Iceburgh69

      Now THIS is an interesting twist! A bomb that warps time itself! And the best part is, I can’t see any reason for it to not be a thing! Time has substance like space does, which means that it can be warped and twisted like space can. I’m curious to see what the consequences are!

  15. RVMPLSTLTSKN Avatar
    RVMPLSTLTSKN

    No Touching
    By RVMPLSTLTSKN (The Saga of The Deep One’s Wake)

    Klajonas knew one thing to be true: she would always be found. She could run, she could hide, but Father or Vienas would find her in the end. This game wasn’t without some rules, but that wasn’t the point. The point was, for whatever moments she could take or finagle or otherwise make, she was free as long as she didn’t break the rules.

    No leaving the temple.

    No touching the scrolls.

    No touching Father’s pearls.

    Ah but they were magic. Like in the stories. Not boring like the fire or sword that her parents clung to. Real magic. After all, the pearls could talk and that had to be magic!

    That was the real point of the game. Her real goal. Find more pearls.

    She ran through the stacks, her toughened feet rustling on the cool stone floor. She got good grip here, where the floors were rougher. It made turning easier.

    Father was coming. She could hear his footsteps echo and knew the game was afoot. He always started loud and got quieter as he neared so she was never quite sure where he was. He acted like that spirit in the stories, the one scared of salt.

    She turned and ran deeper into the stacks. She wasn’t unaware of her surroundings, but in her childish way and the glee of the parental chase, she ran past the pearls.

    She wanted to touch one. Just one. She wanted to feel it go away. It was better than hugs. Better than fresh clam soup on a cold morning. Better than salty seared fish. It was like being loved and happy and warm and safe. It was like Father.

    She stopped running.

    Should she take one then? They were his and like him.

    Maybe he would give her one?

    She heard a rustle and kicked out. Felt a small body crunch against her foot. A muted thud and squeak as it hit something in the dark.

    A tear dripped down her cheek.

    “Gotcha!” Father exclaimed.

    Klajonas shrieked and clung to her Father, crying and laughing, as he held her.

    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      This is an interesting and cute one!! I like it!!

      I always love how you harken back to the pearls!!

      I can really feel Klajonas’ age in the narration itself, which is cool and well done.

      “Klajonas knew one thing to be true: she would always be found. She could run, she could hide, but Father or Vienas would find her in the end.”
      –I love this line, especially as a first line, because it can have a number of different meanings, not just applying to their hide-and-seek game, and it’s really sweet.

      “No leaving the temple.
      No touching the scrolls.
      No touching Father’s pearls.
      Ah but they were magic.”
      –This was probably my favorite bit.
      Isn’t that how it always is? There’s some tiny “but” that leads to the rules being broken. I like the progression: she’s willing to follow the first two, but there’s a “but” for the last one.

      “Like in the stories. Not boring like the fire or sword that her parents clung to. Real magic. After all, the pearls could talk and that had to be magic!”
      –This was an interesting perspective. The sword and fire are very much magic, so it’s interesting to find that Klajonas doesn’t view them that way at all.

      “He always started loud and got quieter as he neared so she was never quite sure where he was. He acted like that spirit in the stories, the one scared of salt.”
      –Pretty!! Very curious about this spirit story.

      ” It was better than hugs. Better than fresh clam soup on a cold morning. Better than salty seared fish. It was like being loved and happy and warm and safe. It was like Father.”
      –Also a very interesting perspective!! It’s well written, and there’s a delightful childlike sweetness to the wording, but it also shows strongly just how much she wants to touch them, if the pearls are better than even the hugs of her family.
      You connections between Klajonas, Padas, and the pearls are lovely.

      I have some critiques/confusions for you this week too…if that’s alright.

      “The point was, for whatever moments she could take or finagle or otherwise make,”
      –This is a small thing, but the word ‘finagle’ kind of tripped me up here. It’s not the kind of language you usually use in these stories, and kind of detracted from the beauty of the phrase, in my mind. I know you’re trying to use childish language, but I can’t really hear a child using this word, personally.

      What are the stacks? I had a tough time picturing the setting itself.

      “She wasn’t unaware of her surroundings, but in her childish way and the glee of the parental chase, she ran past the pearls.”
      –This is really pretty, however it took me about three reads to realize that it’s not that she runs past the pearls and keeps running, it’s that she runs past the pearls, *notices,* and *stops.* The way you phrased this makes it sound like she isn’t aware of her surroundings and thus runs past the pearls (i.e. misses her goal) without even noticing them, and then “She wanted to touch one” doesn’t make sense as the next sentence.
      Maybe that’s just me? You might want to get a second opinion on this.

      “She heard a rustle and kicked out. Felt a small body crunch against her foot. A muted thud and squeak as it hit something in the dark.
      A tear dripped down her cheek.”
      –This was my number one source of confusion.
      My immediate thought was honestly that she killed a rat, but that just felt so random, and her reaction didn’t fit. The fact that she immediately cries means it was clear to her what she did, and that it was a big deal–but not so big of a deal that she has to tell her father, or that she can’t laugh a second later.
      I think she accidentally destroyed a pearl? But this took me so long to get, because I don’t think of pearls as a “body” or that they’re big enough to “thud” or how they’d “squeak.” Nor did you say any had fallen on the floor. And you also didn’t say it talked.
      But after rereading this many times, trying to figure it out, I *think* the “squeak” was it talking? Like a broken music box, she breaks it and it creates a discordant note instead of words?

      Anyways, aside from those confusions, this was a lovely use for the prompt–it’s always nice to read more Klajonas!!

    2. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      This was so sweet! After the other Klajonas stories where she’s older and already itching to leave for different pastures, it was quite lovely to see a story when she was younger, and her life was simpler. Though not without that aformentioned itchiness, or a hint of something sadder hidden from her father.

      In particular, the whole reason she plays – ‘she was free as long as she didn’t break the rules’ – certainly is evidence that she was wanting a big world to exist in even then. And the pearls are a symbol of that too, as a symbol and feeling of something that transends the mortal pleasures that she feels at home. It’s also testement to just how good these pearl blessings feel too – the effect is understated when Padas experiences them, but from a child’s perspective, we get a more clear idea of the comfort and warmth they bring to people’s hearts. A true treasure for Padas to collect for sure.

      I also really like the little line about the ‘boring’ sword and fire – Klajonas *acknowledges* that those things are magic, but since they are perfectly understandable and mundane to her world, she doesn’t treat them with the awe and respect that the pearls recieve from her. Just a lovely and logical detail that was.

      I will agree with Antihero on the scene near the end – it was hard to parse what actually happened during that moment. Did she kick a rat into a wall? Did she stomp on a pearl by accident? Something else? I don’t know if the moment is meant to be sad or sinister or some other kind, would be good to know what the intent was with that part.

      Finally, this is perhaps tangental, but the idea that Padas starts loud and goes quieter as he gets closer is a really interesting and honestly pretty terrifying concept. Like, that could be a very memorable horror game monster mechanic right there – you know the monster is safely far away when it’s being loud and awful in your ears, but the quieter it gets, the closer it is to you, and silence would truly be deadly. Maybe not what you had in mind for that line, but it sure inspired me to think it anyway, which is a good thing!

      Lovely story Rvmple, well done! 😀

    3. ThatWeirdFish Avatar
      ThatWeirdFish

      I like the twist you gave on hide and seek here. You also portrayed the childish longing for something you can’t have beautifully. Though from a few clues, I can guess that Klajonas had already held a pearl.

      I like your descriptive language here as well. It grounds the story into something believable that a young child would experience.

      Also, poor mouse-thing! It was just minding its business then got kicked. Excellent writing as always, and I look forward to more.

  16. Calliope Rannis Avatar
    Calliope Rannis

    Her Biting Skin (Nyssa’s Story)
    By Calliope Rannis

    Nyssa remembered her times alone, and how often that solitude would be interrupted.

    It would usually be men. Some were well-meaning, others…less so. Either way, they would see her sitting in the tavern, or with her nose in a book, and decide that now was the perfect opportunity to introduce themselves to an unknowing stranger.

    Nyssa was naturally quiet and often suspicious of others, but she wasn’t entirely opposed to socialising. She tried to be polite, and open minded. Problem was, most of them just couldn’t resist touching her.

    Often it would be her shoulder. Others have tried to stroke her side, or her back. One even put their hand into her hair. Ultimately though, it would all go the same way: whoever it was would walk up to Nyssa, reach out to touch her, maybe already beginning to introduce themselves, and -BZZZZZT.

    The hand would jerk away, either in pain or surprise. She’d hear an exclamation of confusion, annoyance or even fear. They would swiftly leave, and Nyssa would breathe a sigh of relief.

    She supposed it was helpful for her, sometimes.

    But she remembered the other times too. The times when she would brush past someone while walking, and -BZZT. The couple of moments where a barkeeper would pass her some water, and their fingers touch – BZZZT. The one unfortunate occasion when an excited child accidentally ran right into her, and -BZZZZT.

    The people of that small town adapted to her presence eventually. They knew not to touch the little gnome with sparking, painful skin. They kept a wide berth.

    Sometimes even Nyssa would forget. She’d absent-mindedly touch her face, scratch an itch or bite a nail, and -BZT. Her body would twitch painfully, sparks cascading into the air and leaving burns on her robes.

    She’d be reminded, once again, that the magic buzzing in her skin was foreign, unnatural, stolen. A power that she never should have had, and that now hurt both herself and everyone else whenever she let her guard down.

    Nyssa remembered her times alone, and how her magic would keep her there.

    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      OOOOOH This is an interesting one!!

      Nyssa not being able to touch other people–or even herself–feels like such a big thing, I’m surprised I haven’t heard about it before! It’s fascinatingly tragic. I always love sensory details, and you’re always so good with them.

      Right of the bat I LOVE that title. You had me deeply intrigued immediately.

      “It would usually be men. Some were well-meaning, others…less so. Either way, they would see her sitting in the tavern, or with her nose in a book, and decide that now was the perfect opportunity to introduce themselves to an unknowing stranger.
      Nyssa was naturally quiet and often suspicious of others, but she wasn’t entirely opposed to socialising. She tried to be polite, and open minded. Problem was, most of them just couldn’t resist touching her.
      Often it would be her shoulder. Others have tried to stroke her side, or her back. One even put their hand into her hair. ”
      –I really like how you wrote this. In addition to just generally liking the writing, I feel like this describes how a number of women feel today, even without the magic issue. It makes it feel especially real and applicable.

      “The people of that small town adapted to her presence eventually. They knew not to touch the little gnome with sparking, painful skin. They kept a wide berth.”
      –This is both sweet and sad. Or maybe it isn’t sweet after all–maybe it’s less about them getting to know her, and more about them being afraid of her.
      And the second to last sentence is prettily phrased.

      “Sometimes even Nyssa would forget. She’d absent-mindedly touch her face, scratch an itch or bite a nail, and -BZT. Her body would twitch painfully, sparks cascading into the air and leaving burns on her robes.”
      –This right here. This is where this idea goes from generally sad to terrifying. Not being able to touch yourself, even to scratch an itch…I mean, how can she do everyday things like put on clothes, or brush her hair, or shift her glasses? How would she cut her nails, after all? If she gets hurt, how can a doctor operate on her?
      As someone with a lot of nervous ticks, who also touches their face a lot, this thought terrifies me–(which means it’s well written). Definitely feels like a sort of curse.

      “She’d be reminded, once again, that the magic buzzing in her skin was foreign, unnatural, stolen. A power that she never should have had, and that now hurt both herself and everyone else whenever she let her guard down.”
      –I love this as the conclusion. It’s terrible, of course. But I like when humans (or in this case, gnomes) try to gain godlike power, and become reminded that they aren’t gods in the end, and that they shouldn’t have tried to be. Not necessarily a direct punishment, just something that’s a result of their own actions. I’m not so much of a fan of people gaining godlike power without repercussions. So I just find the idea that there was a sort of curse involved, more than just in the destruction of the town, but something that affects her every day intriguing from a writing perspective.

      Great piece, in an any case!!

      P.S. I’m curious now. You’ve informed me that Nyssa is asexual before. It seems like she just isn’t interested in it, but I have to ask, is this because that would be her sexuality regardless of this fact, or is it more because she simply *can’t* have sex?

    2. Glaceon373 Avatar
      Glaceon373

      Calliope, I’m really glad to see this beautiful expansion of your world. You’ve executed the concept for this very literal take on the prompt very well. I really like your usage of “-BZZT” for the zaps – I can imagine the exact sound in my head. I hope Nyssa’s electric tendencies don’t prevent her from making lots of friends in the future. Overall, Calliope, this story is beautiful. Great job!

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