Writing Group: In the Secret Places

Aug 16, 2021

—

Hello, Loners and Escapees!

Hey, I know you wander off sometimes. No one can find you when you do. I’m curious… where do you go? Is it like some sort of hideout? I have those too, places I go to get away from it all. Do you trust me? If you do, I’d like to see this place sometime, because…

This week’s Writing Group prompt is:

In the Secret Places

RULES AND GUIDELINES BELOW!
Make sure you scroll down and read them if you haven’t! You may not be eligible if you don’t!

Secrets, secrets. Everyone has them. Secret things, secret hobbies, secret thoughts. But this is something a little different. This is something much more easily found.

Maybe the secret place you chose to write about is some corner of the mind. Someone has finally made a tool that can successfully unlock some dark and hidden area of the human brain, see how it works, how it functions with the other parts. Map it, learn to manage it, maybe even use it for certain experiments and such. Perhaps this person has finally learned how to map and process memories so that they may finally be catalogued accurately. Or perhaps you choose to write about a home invasion, and how the intruders can’t find their target due to a saferoom hidden behind a bookcase or under a desk. Perhaps it’s not a room at all, but instead an entire safehouse where the target has relocated to. Some place unknown, and completely off the grid so they can’t be followed. This secret place of safety could even just be a panel in the closet that opens where the children can hide in case of danger when their parents are unavailable to help or protect them.

Secret places don’t even have to be just in the home, however. They can be easily accessible to anyone, yet feel untouched. Perhaps you choose to take a walk along a section of beach you always visit for some quiet time, or a cliff edge you like to perch yourself on, overlooking the sea. Sure, anyone can come to these places. But it’s still your own little hideaway, your secret little oasis away from the world. Maybe you want to venture with the child who keeps going out to play in the backyard, but unbeknownst to their parents, they have a little cubby under the porch where they are keeping a secret pet, like a raccoon, or a bird with a broken wing. They know they should leave it alone, but how can they when the animal is so cute and all alone?

These secret places could even be whole other worlds and planes that take extensive means to get to. Rituals, sacrifices, spells and summonings. This door isn’t one opened easily, and maybe it’s even questionable to open it at all. But without opening that door, you’ll never see the secrets hidden on the other side.

So tell us about your secret place. Your own little hideaway just for you.

We promise we won’t tell a soul.

—Shawna

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Remember, this is part of our weekly Writing Group stream! Submit a little piece following the rules and guidelines below, and there’s a chance your entry will be read live on stream! In addition, we’ll discuss it for a minute and give you some feedback.

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Submit your entry in a comment on this post.

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Comments

70 responses to “Writing Group: In the Secret Places”

Nick

August 22, 2021

Caving Surprise

by NictheGreat

“Come on you two slowpokes,” said Nick as he moved through the deep green thick forest, light on his feet. “Hold on Nick we’re coming!” said Velda. “Come on Sam let’s go!” she said, “Alright I’m coming!” said Sam tiredly struggling to keep up “Come on guys, hurry up!” echoed Nick’s voice through the forest. It was a bright sunny day with a nice cool breeze.

After three minutes of running through the forest…” We’re here, this is it “said Nick cheerfully. “Alright Nick, what did you desperately want us to get out of our seats from playing D&D to see?” said Velda triggered. “Yeah Nick,” said Sam out of breath “what did you want to look at?” “This! “said Nick. He then pointed to a plain green leafed bush. “This is it,” said Velda. “This is what you wanted to show us, Nick. A regular plain bush?!” she said angrily “Yeah Nick what the heck man” said Sam also upset. “I know what you are thinking, Nick it’s just a bush it’s nothing special, and your right but if pull these back you’ll see…” Nick then pulled back the bushes and revealed a large hole going into a large turquoise cave with pockets of medium lighting. “A masterpiece,” said Velda and Sam in astonishment. “Nick this is beautiful,” said Velda amazed. “Yeah, but why are we staring let go in and get a closer look,” said Nick as he slides down the crevasse of the cave. The other two then followed in pursuit.

The three of them then start walking through the damp cool cave. But after walking for two minutes, Velda’s ears perked up. “What’s wrong Velda?” Nick asked, “I hear voices,” she said. She then started running where the voices were coming from. Nick and Sam ran right behind her following the sound of the voices. When they caught up with Velda they stumbled upon a secret enemy campsite guarding an ancient artifact.

“Well, there’s something you don’t see every day,” said Sam. “What do we do?,” asked Velda “We need a distraction,” said Nick. “Okay, so how do pull it off?” asked Velda “We need to make a loud noise to move them away from the artifact”. Once when Velda was about to make assumptions, Sam then slipped on a wet rock and fell five feet, from where they were standing, to the ground below.

“Well, I guess that worked” Nick said.

The two then jumped from their hiding and landed safely on the ground.

“You villains are done here!”

Reply
Qurtan

August 22, 2021

The Broken Door

By Qurtan

Standing by a broken door in an empty warehouse isn’t the ideal weekend, but here I am, waiting for Jimmy. Where was he? I tighten my grip on the key he gave me. The key to a useless door. Damn hi… What was that? No one else should be here.

“Jimmy, is that you?” no answer. Maybe this place isn’t so secret after all. I turn to listen, my heart pounding, but hear nothing. Maybe it’s just a ca…

“Liiiam!” someone yells

Shocked I turn to run, but trip fall instead. That’s when I hear a familiar laugh. Jimmy.

He walks over to me from the shadows holding out his hand.

“You okay?”

“Warning next time!” I say as I take his hand glaring at him

“Not my fault your so jumpy.” he says as he pulls out his key from his coat.

“I wouldn’t be if you were punctual.” He ignores me and chuckles walking to the door.

“Brought the key I forged you?” he asked turning to me.

I reluctantly fish out it of my pocket. He nods pulling a small knife from his coat. What’s he doing? He takes a deep breath and cuts his thumb, and blood drips from it. He rubs it on his key, then hands me the knife. My hand shaking I take it.

“Do I really…”

“Lee, this is a rare experience and I want you to have it, but I can’t bring you. You have to bring yourself, so please, do.”

This place must be real special to him, and he’s willing to share it with me even “forged” me a key. I sigh and put the knife to my thumb. Damn that hurt.
Jim smiles and walks back to the door and puts his key in. The blood on it starts, glowing. This is it. It turns and the door opens to a bright warm light.

“See you on the other side” and he was gone.

Stunned I look to the bloody key in my hand, and slowly put it in the door.

Reply
ArkansanDragoness

August 22, 2021

“Buried Secrets” by Magan (Legends of Dra’cora)

Spearmint squirmed his way into the narrow crevice of the cave, trying not to fray the guideline around his waist. The young rabbit scout saw the orange glow up ahead, felt the heat against his fur. He pushed forward, ignoring the discomfort. That giant fire snail had to be in here somewhere…

He peeked around the corner and saw it. The shell was large as a boulder and the body thick as a small tree. Its body glowed the colors of lava, and the shell was encrusted with gemstones and volcanic glass. Scattered around the lair were items that had been stuck to it, mostly metal and other fire-resistant materials. The source of the heat was a lava pool the snail had created.

Spearmint sighed in annoyance. That meant eggs, and more of the crop-destroying menaces plaguing his village.

He waited, as the creature oozed its way out through a larger tunnel, leaving a trail of flaming slime. Once it left, he rushed into the room, quickly finding the nest. There was a mixed assortment of elements in this clutch, judging by egg colors.

The rabbit scrambled for something to smash them with–and paused.

He stared down at the sword in his paws in confusion. This wasn’t a beastfolk blade, nor from any demigods he recognized, and it was ancient, from before the Dragonslayer Wars…

He carefully looked around, seeing more such artifacts, and realizing that this was no snail-made lair or even a natural cave, but a massive Great Hall masterfully carved from the surrounding stone. The walls were covered with images of strange, stout bi-peds with long fur covering their heads and faces, and depicted daily life of fighting, feasting, and mining. Not apes, but what were they?

Studying the nest more closely, he realized it was a shattered throne…

Spearmint shook himself awake, smashing the snail eggs–only to stop at the last one. No snail egg, it was a rock, shaped like a sleeping baby elephant.

A newborn earth elemental!

He carefully tucked it into his satchel, tying the sword to his back.

He would return later.

Reply
Starfle

August 20, 2021

The Library

By Starfle

It was midnight when Cyd, like always, slipped out of his front door without his family’s knowledge. He cast a last look back at his grandfather’s room, from which he could still hear his snoring. He chuckled to himself and slid through the front door, careful not to let it slam behind him.

“Never let yourself be caught by the humans,” Said his Grandfather. “They see us as nothing more than vermin, and they will squash you in an instant!” And he was right, as he usually was, but Cyd just couldn’t help himself. And so he would often sneak out like this, when his family was asleep, and go to his favorite place.

He flew into the street, careful to keep out of sight of the street lamps and the humans as he approached the towering building that stood across from his home. Carefully now, he snuck inside, fluttering through a window the humans tended to leave open. The smell of paper old and new and the warm glow of candle light greeted him as he landed on a tall shelf stacked with what the humans called “books.” This was his sanctuary. His own little corner of the world. His secret garden, so to speak.

Aha! Right on cue, a bespectacled human girl walked through the door, greeting the old man at the counter with a small wave. She ordered something called a “coffee” (some bitter thing the humans drink, said his grandfather) and wandered between the shelves, perusing the vast collection of books. Cyd couldn’t help but hover over her shoulder, anxiously waiting as she pulled one from its spot. He struggled for a moment to read the title… “Frankenstein”? Odd title, but he trusted her taste.

The girl sat in her favorite spot by the window and opened her book, not noticing as he settled on a shelf above her to peek over her shoulder. This was his paradise… A treasure only he knew about.

“Do you come here often?”

Reply
1. Tamela Redfin
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  Though I don’t know what Cyd is, I picture him as a bug creature. Am I right? Love the set up, very simple, but super well written. Also, that last line is terrific.
  
  Reply
  1. Starfle
    
    August 21, 2021
    
    Cyd is a moth, yes!
    
    Reply
Chopstick

August 20, 2021

Where Dreams Come to Die
By Chopstick

Nightmares chase me, even after I awaken. I am haunted by the most foul creatures roaming the night; I woke up in bed, greeted by darkness that was merely challenged by the moonlight shimmering through. Bony arms came up from under my bed, thick slime dripped from the monstrous jaws raised high above me. Frightened as I was, I ran away; out the door, into the forest. My feet had begun to bleed from the rough terrain, but one could not falter, for the monsters might catch me.

Eventually I got to an open field, with a great oak in the centre. I was surrounded. Monsters started dripping into view from all sides, each one more hideous and terrifying than the previous. The moon was full tonight, and her illumination acted as a spotlight to this cruel spectacle. I sat down and closed my eyes, ready to meet my fate, as suddenly, I felt a calming hand on my shoulder. I opened one eye to look up, and saw there was this beautiful woman, dressed fully in white, standing over me.

‘Do not be afraid, my name is Luna.’

I stood up at her sign, and looked around. Somehow, there were no monsters to be seen. Befuddled I stood there, while Luna smirked.

‘Come, do you see that tree?’ She pointed towards the great oak.

I nodded.

‘It is a very special tree, one whose existence is only known to you and me. How about we go there?’

I followed her to the oak. Even in the dark, it was a magnificent tree. A ladder hung down, and as we climbed up to the highest peak. The first beams of sunlight came through. Luna smiled again.

‘If the nightmares come looking for you, remember this place. For a nightmare is nothing but a dream, and when the morning comes, all dreams must perish. So remember where this oak does lie, as it’s the place where dreams come to die.’

Now I come here every night; because no matter what the darkness will send, all nights must come to an end.

Reply
1. Mango Gravy
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  I really enjoyed the rhyming in this. It really serves to lighten up the tone and make this story a lot more optimistic than the first two paragraphs might imply. I also like how you added contrast here. The darkness of the nightmare set in the first paragraph, then the full moon illuminating the oak tree in the second paragraph so that the arrival of Luna amid all this terror immediately frames her as almost deific. The establishment of a safe space within the nightmare is really well done here. I like it.
  
  Reply
  1. Chopstick
    
    August 21, 2021
    
    Thanks!
    
    Reply
Tamela Redfin

August 19, 2021

Hidden Depths

By Tamela Redfin

Feldspar Augen turned off the switch and I was asked to leave shortly after. Or maybe it had been longer. I still was just shocked as Radon Cecilia and Sapphira had been.

Time passed and Radon Cecilia appeared to disappear. Sure, the little bugger could literally turn invisible, but that wasn’t it. We’d be able to spot those rings at least, right?

Maybe my supervisor Phrosporus Max would have more advice to give me, if he wasn’t busy in Adler. Well, a call never hurts.

The dial tone rang in my ears, but somehow the stars aligned and he picked up. As I spoke, I wandered the desert wasteland. “Hello Phrosorus Cameron, what makes you call me today?”

“It’s about the cyphas you and Sulfur Cora asked me to research. There’s one… I can’t seem to forget.”

“Don’t ever talk about cypha like that. They are very forgettable creatures. The plaything you outgrow. What’s gotten into you?”

“I… I don’t know sir.” I sighed. But then I heard whispering and what sounded like crying. “I’ll call you back.” I snuck closer, following nothing but my ears. I had to ignore the winds of the desert.

“You have to believe me, Cecilia. It’s not your fault.” Was that one of the cyphas that tied me up?

She spoke through broken sobs. “It is my fault, Travis! Sapphira should have never been punished like that.”

“Cecilia, you’re the bravest cypha we know. Facing the humans head on?” A girl cypha replied.

“But it’s not worth it to get Sapphira hurt like that. She’s just a kid.” Cecilia sobbed.

“And she survived. Don’t let those stupid humans control our lives. Here, eat this root, it will help you relax.” Wait, cyphas did this? But that’s not in line with what I learned. Cyphas were barbarians who sometimes fought to the death and lived in complete solitude. Had the humans, no, not this bunch.

Maybe cyphas had always been this polite. At least to their own kind. I still needed to look into it.

Reply
1. Deathlyrage
  
  August 19, 2021
  
  I think it has to do with how I’m used to reading my own stuff, but I had to reread it a few times to understand the flow of the story.
  I like the distinction between the groups that are being introduced here though. The “Cyphas” all have what would be considered typical names, where as the humans have signifiers such as “Sulfur”, “Radon”, etc, which took me a little bit to distinguish (this is the fault of my brain, as I have ADHD and have trouble reading so I have to reread at least 3-4 times to understand something…this is normal for me, heh).
  I am a little confused about the distinction between Cecilia and Radon Cecilia, are they two different persons? If so then I think I messed up understanding something. ;o
  
  Good story though! [:
  <3
  
  Reply
2. Starfle
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  This is very interesting! You’re giving us a lot of information while being careful not to infodump! Great work!
  
  We can tell at the very least that The Cyphas are either a lower class or an enemy faction. Perhaps they and the humans are at war? Whatever’s happening, The Cyphas are certainly more intelligent and caring than they’re given credit for. This is very intriguing, and I’d love to read more of your work in the future!
  
  Reply
  1. Tamela Redfin
    
    August 20, 2021
    
    I keep forgetting to explain what they are. I blame the idea this is part of a much larger universe I’ve mapped out. There, it will be fully explained.
    
    Lore dump time!
    
    Cyphas are human-like creatures who have light grey skin, long claws, can see the dark, have thicker skin, and live in solitude or in small groups (usually family units).
    The human president, Sulfur Cora, wants cyphas to become humans, so she trapped them in the desert (the land called Snos) and has humans being taught cyphas are barbaric loners who need to “be fixed.” Sulfur Cora herself knows very little about cyphas. But why learn about something when you can crush it under your jackboots? I don’t feel the same malice in Cameron however…
    
    Reply
Arith_Winterfell

August 19, 2021

“Secret Places of the Heart”

By Arith_Winterfell

I stood next to Alethia. If I strained my hearing, I could almost hear her heartbeat. We looked out over the afterglow of the sunset’s end. I knew the night’s work would begin soon. The hunt, and there were other tasks laid out by Master Telcane. Still, I lingered by her side. I loved her. Yes. And yet, nothing was said between us. I felt that she must share these feelings. But—

“The sunset is beautiful, isn’t it?” she asked softly.

I cocked my head slightly in thought, then answered, “It is. As are you.”

I turned toward her, and we locked eyes. I was careful not to use my powers, even accidentally. I could easily compel her, but that would defeat the point. I wanted her to love me, of her own free will. To love me as I am, even though I am still of heart, and dead of flesh.

She simply turned away, back to the dimming glow of the sunset with merely a coy smile as a response.

“My relationship with you is something special. Something I have with no one else,” I began.

She smiled again saying, “There’s a lot of work ahead of you I know. You should go, and I should rest.”

We linger here at the sunset’s end. I with the fullness of the night ahead of me, and her with a night full of slumber. We hold together in that moment in time. She is of the day, and I of the night. Here in the slipping moments between those two times, we can linger together.

Now. Now I should say it! But before I can speak, she already seems to know, and simply silences me with her finger upon my lips.

“Go. The night calls to you,” she adds with a smile.

I can’t help but return her smile with my fanged grin as I turn and leave. Tomorrow perhaps. Tomorrow waits for me, with all the secrets of the heart.

Reply
1. Makokam
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  This was a fun story.
  
  Despite giving us a little hint of what their lives are like outside of this, it wasn’t enough to make me interested in it. So all I’m interested in is what’s going on between them.
  Is he an assassin? Will he be feeding the homeless? A maid or butler? I dunno and I dont really care. For better or worse.
  I like that though. It doesn’t distract me from the scene.
  
  Reply
2. Starfle
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  Aaaaaaaaah I’m REALLY ROOTING FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER TO CONFESS THEIR LOVE! This is absolutely sweet! From what I can gather, the protagonist is a vampire? Or at the very least a creature of the night. I like how you drop hints towards that without spoon feeding it to the reader. It’s very clever! Nevertheless, I’m rooting for these two VERY hard! You do a VERY good job of making me want to see them kiss!
  
  Reply
ThatWeirdFish

August 18, 2021

The Mind Theif (Repost from Private)
By ThatWeirdFish

My refuge was the woods of my mind. They were silent but overflowing with life. Ancient trees with branches draped with moss. Curling ferns with fronds outstretched to worship the golden sun above. I retreated there often, the one place no one can touch me. Hurt me in word or deed. My sacred place.

Then one day, I returned to find that the woods had disappeared. All the trees and ferns were erased as if they never grew there. What was left was the grass. Sickly, brittle grass covered the land in a carpet of ashen yellow. And the sun. It hung limply as a dull orb in the sky, as listless as my spirit.

I knew the cause of the devastation. I knew it could have been avoided if I had just held back. Not… shared my secret woods with her. Yet, it was so wonderful to finally not be alone, to have someone walking alongside me beneath those trees. One who knew the secret paths I could not see. A companion who seemed to genuinely love everything about me.

But, too late, I noticed the withering. I should have recognized the signs in her. How her twisted compliments pushed me down, and how she mocked me with her bitter smile. Despite that, I kept inviting her back in. I was addicted to the high of her mind interwoven with mine. And then, without a word, she vanished, taking the last scraps of green with her.

I had fallen for her deception.

She was a vampire I should have seen from a mile away.

And yet, how could one have resisted such a light-filled smile?

Reply
Deathlyrage

August 18, 2021

“A Concealed Funeral”
By Deathlyrage

“Why do we have to haul this…thing all the way out here?” Zulitrea’s eyes walk up and down the body bag yearning for a cut of flesh to sate her appetite.

Prodding at the ground with a shovel in hand, Thestris glances back at Zulitrea. “Don’t even think about it,” he says, steadily placing the bag on the ground, then relinquishing his grip from its handle.

Zulitrea scowls tossing down her shovel. “Why in all of the hell’s did I have to attend this half-assed, haphazard funeral?” She jostles against the body bag disregarding the necessity for its careful handling.

“Zulitrea Anashkii Mrelith” Thestris exclaims. His words bellow around in the forest, bouncing off of the trees, and frightening the delicate personalities of the plant life. Aware of his blunder he slaps his left cheek, leaving on it a visibly bright handprint. He reels in his vocal range, whilst addressing her with the sternness of their village elders. “A day’s walk, that is it. A simple day’s walk!” His attention turns towards the writhing in the body bag. “Ancestors be damned,” he chagrins.

“It’s coming back isn’t it?” She releases her grip from the bag, shuffling over to where her shovel was tossed.

Thestris nods, tightening his grip on the shovel’s handle, and leaning in towards where the writhing is most active.

He thrusts the shovel as though it were a spear, and straight into the center mass of the bag. A piercing screech comes forth, echoing with such intensity that the trees begin to whirl. The lustrous plant life around them recede in an attempt to shield themselves from its animosity.

“Aim for its head” Thestris yells.

Zulitrea’s eyes sharpen themselves against the whirlwind of sound, honing in on the things head. In one movement she pounces upwards, angling the shovel at its head and pushing it in with both feet.

Thestris unclasps his hands, finding it difficult to straighten his fingers. “Th-that’s why you’re here…why we’re here,” he says, exasperated.

“I-I’m sorry”. Zulitrea glances around them, noticing the damage done to the plant life. “I’m sorry…”

Reply
1. Tamela Redfin
  
  August 19, 2021
  
  Very good. It tells a lot about the characters. Not to chuckled at “Aim for its head.” Though nitpick, its not it’s.
  
  Reply
2. Marx
  
  August 19, 2021
  
  Zombies have no sense of manners, do they? Or at least I read it as a zombie lol. This was an interesting story. The personalities of the characters were clear in their banter and it makes the reader curious about the rest of the world. Especially the plant life. You did a great job at making sure the importance of the flora was pointed out. Very well done!
  
  Reply
Makokam

August 18, 2021

Chronicles of The Dragon: Serendipity
By: Makokam

The tower on the north east corner of the church was damaged. It was a small hole, but it was big enough for a person to climb into, revealing the hollow interior.

That someone had stuffed with blankets.

Kat found it by chance, while waiting out a sudden downpour. Curiosity made her climb in. A lack of any place better to go made her stay.

The next morning she woke to the sound of someone climbing into the tower; a girl in a berry-like hat and a dirty oversized coat.

The girl noticed her halfway in and glowered at her. “This is my place.”

Kat ignited a ball of fire in her hand.

The berry girl shrunk back. “You can have it.” And backed out.

Kat snuffed the flames out and lay back down.

A moment later the girl poked her head back in. “I can show you a better place.”

Kat looked over at her. Nothing below her eyes was visible and she slowly sank lower until even her eyes were barely visible.

“There’s actual beds. And it’s warm. And they’ll give you food.”

“If it’s better why aren’t you there?”

She pulled herself higher. “People know to find me there.”

Kat sat up properly. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do any- watch your head.”

Kat flinched as her head bounced off one of the support beams, taking a chunk out of the wood, as she’d tried to stand.

“See? You’re too tall for here. It fits me fine though.”

Kat glared at the girl, who disappeared through the hole again. She swore under her breath for a moment before she heard the girl’s voice again.

“So… want me to show you? We could still make breakfast.”

Kat grimaced for a moment then said, “Show me.”

Reply
1. Jocelyn
  
  August 18, 2021
  
  I need a good book. You’re a tease LOL. I always leave these wishing I could see their whole world.
  
  Reply
  1. Makokam
    
    August 18, 2021
    
    Thank you. ^_^
    Writing a full blown book is the goal. I hope you’ll like that as much as these snapshots.
    
    Reply
2. i-prefer-the-term-antihero
  
  August 19, 2021
  
  “a girl in a berry like hat and a dirty over-sized coat.”
  –Is THAT why she’s called Berri?!
  I like that you managed to show us who it was without saying her name, thereby keeping it in-perspective.
  (Also, it’s a nitpick, but I think it’s “berry-like” and “oversized”)
  
  “The berry girl shrunk back. “You can have it.” And backed out.”
  –Aww, I can’t help but feel bad and sad for Berri here. This is the place she’s been living for presumably a while…but she can’t defend it. The moment someone shows they’re more powerful than her, she can’t fight, she has to give it up and live another day.
  I’m guessing this has probably happened before…
  Also, her reaction feels very cat-like too.
  
  “A moment later the girl poked her head back in. “I can show you a better place.”
  Kat looked over at her. Nothing below her eyes was visible and she slowly sank lower until even her eyes were barely visible.
  “There’s actual beds. And it’s warm. And they’ll give you food.”
  “If it’s better why aren’t you there?”
  She pulled herself higher. “People know to find me there.”
  –I like this interaction.
  
  Each Berri story I read I love her more. Her kindness and brightness comes through so strong. It seems she’s both trying to keep her place, but also help Kat out, even though she’s only just met her.
  Offering to have breakfast and stuff with her is cute too because it’s a very “mmkay, we’re friends now, right? We have breakfast together.” XD
  
  I’m not sure exactly the time period here, but it seems like it’s when Berri is homeless, before she met Jonathan? I’m guessing her and Kat go their separate ways and don’t learn who each other are for a long time, if ever….
  
  Great little scene!! I like the image of a Berri living in a church tower.
  
  Reply
  1. Makokam
    
    August 20, 2021
    
    “–Is THAT why she’s called Berri?!”
    ^_^
    
    “I like that you managed to show us who it was without saying her name, thereby keeping it in-perspective.”
    Thank you thank you. I was very pleased with that.
    
    “(Also, it’s a nitpick, but I think it’s “berry-like” and “oversized”)”
    … You’re probably right. I’ll change it.
    
    “Great little scene!! I like the image of a Berri living in a church tower.”
    Thank you again. The church mouse better look out or the church Berri will get it! lol
    
    I actually had a lot of fun coming up with her hidey-hole. I doubt I’ll revisit it, but it’s a fun image and maybe it’ll come up in passing sometime. Maybe another John&Berri Random Scene.
    
    Reply
3. Marx
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  Lol and then they had breakfast, and became best friends and lived happily ever after. I absolutely loved the banter here. I don’t think you’d need to know anything about the world to follow it, but knowing the characters just enhances it on the whole, which is always a good thing for these prompts.
  
  I think my favorite part is that I’m assuming Berri, is being helpful, but she could also just be trying to keep her place without having to fight the girl who can summon fire. Very fun story!
  
  Reply
  1. Makokam
    
    August 20, 2021
    
    Thanks to you I’m now going to title the expanded version of this “Best Friends For Never”
    
    Berri is absolutely trying to be helpful while also not trying to find a new hidey-hole. lol
    
    And i’m really happy to hear you think it works so well on it’s own. Like it’s supposed to. lol
    Maybe Benji was right and I really am getting better at these prompts.
    
    Reply
4. Timberwolf
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  I like this story. I may not know what it ties in to, as many shorts here seem to, but I think I’d call it cute? At any rate it’s fun interaction to read, but I feel like I’m missing a few pieces of information. Like I opened the book at page 122 instead of 1.
  
  Which isn’t a slight at the short. The short is a really nice read, I just feel like I’m missing out.
  
  Reply
  1. Makokam
    
    August 20, 2021
    
    You are not wrong. Every story I’ve written for TheTaleFoundry has been in the same universe with several repeat characters.
    
    However, none are directly connected or give any more of an introduction to the characters than here, so it’s as good a place to start as any.
    
    The two characters from this story have been in 5-8 other stories, so if you keep reading my stories you’re bound to run into them again. But it could be in an entirely different time and place.
    
    Glad you enjoyed this little snap shot of my world though, and thank you for commenting!
    
    Reply
Timberwolf

August 18, 2021

Hidden Truth
By Timberwolf

You walk home along the same route you always have when you spot something across the street that wasn’t there before. Even stranger is that no one else seems to notice it. An alleyway.

But this one is different. Moss and grass cover most of the ground and walls. As curiosity seemingly gets the better of you and you cross the street to get closer, you note the song of birds as the deafening roar of inner city traffic fades into nothing. You walk in before you can catch yourself.

The brick walls give way to natural rock. You feel the grass between your toes as at some point you lost your shoes. As you spin in place to take in the green smells, you stop when you notice a silhouette on the far side of the crevasse. She’s covered in darkness but you can still make out her slender form and long hair. She has pointy ears.

You tilt your head a little. So does she. You move a little to the left. As does she. You move closer. So does she. Every move you make she imitates perfectly without delay and without fail. Even the little ways you move or carry yourself. You inch closer and closer to her, and she to you. You should feel alarmed or uneasy, but the more you look at her, the more familiar she feels. You come closer and reach out. Just before your fingertips touch hers, the loud and sudden roar of a car horn distracts you.

As the car races past, you suddenly find yourself back on the opposite side of the street, shoes and all. The birds are gone. The smells are gone. The magic is gone. You look towards the alleyway, but it too is gone. Both buildings effortlessly meld into one another.

Was it just a daydream or was it real? It felt real, and if it was, were you cast out for intruding or was it an invitation?

What you do know is that in there was the first time you felt like you truly belonged…

Reply
1. Chopstick
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  Great story! I really love the smooth easing into the idyllic place, followed by the abrupt disconnection from it. It was very well executed. The sentences flow nicely and have a fitting length to them.
  
  Another great achievement is that the story feels complete, like nothing is missing; which is very impressive to achieve within 350 words!
  
  If I had to state one point for improvement, I would probably say that the word ‘you’ is used a lot; by nature of a word limit and the way the story is told, I don’t see how it could be avoided, though.
  
  Overall, lovely story, and I really enjoyed reading it!
  
  Reply
  1. Timberwolf
    
    August 20, 2021
    
    Thank you for the kind words!
    
    Your point is fair, reading it over again I find I could’ve left out a “you” here and there which might’ve even made it flow better. I suppose I wanted to get it out before the inspiration left me.
    
    Reply
2. Mango Gravy
  
  August 21, 2021
  
  Interesting decision to write this in the second person. I haven’t seen much written like this so the fact that this didn’t feel jarring is good. You managed to pull it off well enough that my immersion didn’t suffer.
  Speaking of immersion, this has really good descriptions. Really vivid. Makes it all the more painful when I get booted out of the fantasy and back into the mundane.
  Well done, I say.
  
  Reply
  1. Timberwolf
    
    August 21, 2021
    
    Thanks for the reply.
    
    The decision to write in the second person was mostly to try and suck the reader into the story. To share the bit of magic rather than just tell how it happens to someone else.
    
    I’m glad you think I managed to pull it off well enough.
    
    Reply
RVMPLSTLTSKN

August 17, 2021

The House at the End of the World
By RVMPLSTLTSKN (The Saga of The Deep One’s Wake)

“The World comes to the House.”

Charn heard this first when He came to the House. He heard it from Death’s own mouth. It was dire then, frightening to the child He was.

“The World comes to the House.”

He heard it again with each new child who arrived. War made orphans of many and filled the House with their sustenance. Over time, He decided it must be a form of black poem; gallows humor, perhaps. Admittance or surrender to inevitability and the basest of inhuman acts.

And then the sky opened up and It came to the House. That was the day Death left the House and all Death’s children. Save Charn. Charn stayed and waited for the World.

“The World comes to the House.”

Charn said it lastly as a promise. He told it to each corpse He carried; whispered it into the lungs of the dying, heard it echoed in their exhalations; gave the knowledge to His children, war orphaned each and all; spoke it to the Foreigners who come to His House, with their skins of grey shades. He told it to the Wolf when it came crawling to the House. The House could not accept the Wolf, so He told the same to the Hunter who killed it.

Father. An old man with a crooked, funny smile and the look of a man who does what needs doing. Charn never asked why he killed the Wolf and not the Interloper.

“The World comes to the House.”

He said this to the Wanderer when she came to the House (she asked to sleep and He let her in). He said to the Hopeful Warlord who pursued the Wanderer (he did not let Xer in). He said it too to Mother Fate, when she asked Him about His children.

When They met in that place where nothing living nor dead could go, Charn told the other gods again. It was the day that Mother Fate painted for Him and He said it with finality.

Reply
1. Timberwolf
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  I enjoy this story very much. I may understand very little of what it tries to tell me, but I think that’s what makes it so interesting to me. It almost reads like a long forgotten myth.
  
  Unfortunately I have little to speak of in the way of improvement for you on this particular story. It reads well, though the idea that drives it is perhaps lost on me.
  
  Reply
Mango Gravy

August 16, 2021

A Path yet Unbeaten
By Mango Gravy

There are many secret places in the world. Eighty six, to be exact. Through the Pathic Poems, these Secret Places are no secret at all. Everyone knows of the Tulgy Wood, or the Blurqoise Osis, and even the Frospy Mountain. But none have yet found them, for though the way is known, the path is unknowable.

“It says ‘turn east when you see the wigwig tree’,” Jack said, pointing at a tree that bent this way and that for no discernible reason. “Wigwig obviously means wiggly, and this is the wiggliest tree I’ve ever seen.”

“Don’t be mad,” Jock said, shying back, “but I saw a wigglier tree about mile back.”

“Why didn’t you say anything!”

“I thought wigwig meant… wig. As in hair. So I was looking for a willow tree.” Jock paused, bracing for a shower of insults, “I haven’t seen any willows. Incase you were wondering.”

Resisting the urge to throttle his companion, Jack thought back to the Poem of Tulgy Wood. Each of the Pathic Poems had lines that gave advice in the event that one became lost.

“‘Should you find the finding tough, listen for ties and call its bluff’,” Jack recited. He stood for a second, considering the sentence, before bursting into a rage, swinging his fists and tromping about as he yelled, “What in the bloody hell does that mean?”

Jock stepped away so he wouldn’t be caught in his friend’s frumious fit, and waited for Jack to calm down. He stared at the ground as he contudiously considered their conundrum. Solutions to the many problems posed by this Pathic Poem churned in his head, and in the minutes it took for the red to leave Jack’s face, Jock drew what he considered to be the most reasonable conclusion.

“I give up,” he said.

And so they did. Never again did they return to the Tulgy Wood. No frabjous day for the whiffling travelers, they remained bewused and mimsy, and this Secret Place had once again resisted prying eyes.

And the path had yet to be beaten.

Reply
1. Chopstick
  
  August 16, 2021
  
  I love the writing style! It gives this whimsical feeling which in turn makes me feel some nostalgia towards being a kid and going on a made-up adventure! Well done!
  
  Furthermore, I love the naming, the vagueness of wigwig for some reason seems like a plausible description, and it works out amazingly.
  
  Reply
  1. Mango Gravy
    
    August 17, 2021
    
    Thanks. I always enjoy writing my more whimsical stories, so I’m glad you enjoyed reading it.
    
    Reply
2. Makokam
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  Fun story.
  I like the idea that whatever the poem means is just… A mystery. I especially like the idea that when it was written it made perfect sense, but through time and…translation maybe? The meaning has been lost.
  Like, I fully believe that “wigwig” is just the name for a specific (type of) tree, not a riddle describing it. And nobody has called it a wigwig tree in thousands of years. Or something.
  
  Reply
Harshmellow99

August 16, 2021

The Hidden Things (reposted from private)
By Harshmellow99

The train started to move and Harold watched through the window as the station began to slip by. He wouldn’t be able to breathe until he’d left the city. His heart beat quickly and he felt butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. He was returning to his childhood home in the country, where he and his little friends that lived in the hidden places had made a lifetime of memories. Harold pushed up his glasses, clutching his sketchbook. Beaten and battered, a remnant of years long past. If one opened it, they’d find three names inside. They’d drawn in it as children. The human boy and the little folk had discovered the secrets of that old land. And there were so many wonderful secrets. When the news came all those years ago that his family would be moving to the city, Harold had broken down and wept. And when his parents had gone to town that day, his friends had come out and wept with him. Who knows what waited for him there now?

Harold’s head lulled against the train window as he began to sleep. Faded memories began to emerge hazily in his mind.

Memories of the flower gardens, the fresh country air. The snails that inhabited the garden. The frogs who basked in the pond, who’d given Harold and his little friends hardy good mornings every time they passed by.

The sound of the train coming to a stop woke him. When he looked outside, he didn’t see the city and its gray labyrinth. He saw nothing but fields of green and cottages dotted throughout. Twelve years since he’d been home. A smile widened on his long, pale face, and a faint little tear tickled his cheek. He was home.

Harold’s childhood home was an old stone cottage hidden in a nest of trees. He’d gone in to find it still as when he first left it.

So quiet.

Then there was a little rustle, and out from the pantry came a tiny, lanky, mop-haired man. He had tears in his eyes when the two saw each other.

Reply
1. Makokam
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  Well that was heartwarming.
  
  It sounds like his old home was sort of a secret place as well, as no one came to own it since. Perhaps the work of his little friends?
  
  Reply
  1. Harshmellow99
    
    August 20, 2021
    
    Thanks so much, Mako! But yeah, I’ve kicked around the idea that this house is some sort of hidden realm unto itself.
    
    Reply
C. M. Weller

August 16, 2021

Discoveries in the Dark (A Tiefling Tale) [From Private]
C. M. Weller

There were many things Kormwind would rather do than sleep. The dreams that came to him were rarely, if ever, sweet. Lately, they had been of his father the Earl sitting in judgement of him whilst on the Blood Throne. There were others, like becoming an entire monster, or waking to find himself with all the monsters of the dark.

When Korwmind inevitably woke in the grey of the night, he could not settle again. Some of his bad dreams included Nani punishing him after she found him. Not that that stopped his wanderings.

Tonight, he was a little more lost than he should have been. Roaming through parts of the castle that had fallen to neglect or at least disuse. Trying doorknobs on the off chance he might find someone.

At this point, it was better to get in trouble for being where he shouldn’t be than to be lost in the grey forever. Little lordlings, no matter how demonic, should not be getting lost in their own castle.

Kormwind found a door that wasn’t locked. Nobody had left anything in here, except for what appeared to be a wardrobe against the far wall. This fascinated him, so he looked inside and found… ANOTHER door. Which lead to an overgrown wonderland.

The moonlight loaned it colour. Kormwind saw green bushes, and red and purple berries, and bright toadstools he knew he should never touch. And one solitary tree surviving against the odds.

Every last patch of soil in Whitekeep was maintained and tended and pressed to the work of feeding the people, even in the castle. Therefore this space was unknown to anyone but him. If he told Nani, Bothari, or even his parents… it would be taken away. Forbidden. Used, but never for him.

The city below and a window above told him where he was. Kormwind quietly left the secret door and its guardian wardrobe shut. Closed the door to the neglected room, and found a staircase that took him up to far more familiar hallways.

Just this once, he would be a SELFISH Tiefling, and keep this wilderness a secret.

Reply
1. Arith_Winterfell
  
  August 19, 2021
  
  This story is interesting for its two parts really. The earlier part of the story with its descriptions of dreams that haunt him, and the later part where he wanders, discovers the woodland area. The discovery of a wilderness beyond a Wardrobe actually reminded me a lot of C.S. Lewis’s “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” story from his Narnia collection. I wondered to myself it that had any influence upon the tale. Still it is neat to see Kormwind find a hidden place of peace and wilderness amidst all the difficulties that surround him. A good tale!
  
  Reply
  1. C. M. Weller
    
    August 20, 2021
    
    There is a little tip of the hat towards Narnia, but it’s mostly a place where nobody would look, and a place beyond that nobody would want. Everything in Kormwind’s life to date has been (more or less) strictly ordered and contained. Strictly regulated.
    
    No small shock that he’d fall in love with a scrubby patch of rubbish land that’s been forgotten by literally everyone. So more Secret Garden than Narnia.
    
    Reply
2. Makokam
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  Oh! Isn’t that INTERESTING.
  
  My first thought is that it was some balcony that was abandoned and went to seed… But somebody clearly went to a lot of effort to hide it. Probably even from the moment the castle was built, as nothing seems to have a clear line of sight on it.
  Fascinating.
  
  I just hope he doesn’t give the secret away by spending too much time there and people wondering where he is.
  
  Reply
Connor A.

August 16, 2021

Carving on the Roof (Sword Isles)
By Connor A.

Jen strained to hear if anyone was outside their room, then quietly slid out from under their thin blanket and tiptoed over to the window. They opened the modest chest sitting under it and moved their things aside to grab a small block of wood and a small knife. Looking out to make sure no one else was breaking the city curfew, they opened the window slowly as to not make any sound and crawled out.

Even the short climb up to the roof was long enough for Jen to start feeling the effects of the constant winter. Still, they sat down and began whittling.

“What are you doing?”

Jen jumped, but forced themself to not make a surprised sound as they tightened their grip around the wood and knife to avoid dropping them. They looked to where the voice came from and saw the cloaked figure of Oberon crouching next to them.

“C…” They began before holding up the wood. “Carving.”

“Would it not be wiser to do that where it is warm?”

“Knives are contraband, and the wind can get rid of the evidence.” Jen held up a strip of shaved wood before going back to whittling.

“What is so important about this that you would risk freezing to death?”

Jen used their head to point at the building across the street. “The woodworker is helping the doctor with prostheses, and I’m helping make the parts.” When they noticed Oberon’s confused look, they added, “False limbs. For people who need them.”

A chill ran down their back, but they managed to keep their hands steady as they worked. After a few seconds of silence, they heard shuffling followed by the feeling of a fur cloak being dropped over them.

“Be better prepared for the weather.” Oberon spoke.

Jen adjusted the cloak so it was over their shoulders and nodded before returning to their task.

“How do these…’prostheses’ work?”

Jen beamed at the question, then began explaining enthusiastically as they worked. As they did, the worries of the day joined the wood shavings in the wind.

Reply
1. Alex
  
  August 17, 2021
  
  This was a sweet piece. I like the little details you put in here, with knives being considered contraband and Jen having to help an overworked wood-cutter. It seems like such an every day thing (maybe not for her, but for the town) and so simple. Like a slice of life story. No monsters or dragons, just someone helping out.
  
  I like the conversation between Jen and Oberon. It plays right into the slice of life idea. It also helps to characterize Jen, who seem like someone who’s just trying their best to help out. I do like big concept stories with cosmic entities and magic and everything, but sometimes it’s just nice to watch something simpler, like someone carving prosthetics on the roof.
  
  Well done!
  
  Reply
  1. Connor A.
    
    August 18, 2021
    
    Thanks! As much as I like Oberon teaching Jen things, it was nice to flip that around with Oberon being the one asking questions. I also felt like Jen needed a reason for staying in Haven for as long as they did despite becoming more disillusioned with what they were taught; a sense of duty to people is definitely one way to do that.
    
    Reply
2. Marx
  
  August 19, 2021
  
  This is so adorable! I do truly enjoy reading about Jen and Oberon. They just have this very warm nature to their conversations. And the ending just made me smile. I think everyone should have a thing they do that they’re eager to talk at length about when asked. And the fact that it’s for a genuinely good reason was the cherry on the top. Lol I do fully agree with Oberon about being prepared for the weather though, even though if they had been prepared, we wouldn’t have gotten that cute part with Oberon offering the cloak. Great take on the prompt!
  
  Reply
  1. Connor A.
    
    August 20, 2021
    
    Thanks! Jen is honestly one of my favorite humans to write about because their optimism is infectious. I do plan on exploring their dynamic with other characters eventually, but I still love their parent-child dynamic with Oberon.
    
    Reply
Calliope Rannis

August 16, 2021

Into The Maw (Nyx’s Story)
By Calliope Rannis

Nyx had gotten to know the castle of the Lectara family rather well, in her year of employment with them. But one place she had never explored was the keep’s unused chapel.

So it was a surprise to her when the Lord’s chief of staff led her there, after returning from her latest and most significant task. She had expected to be taken to the throne room, even at this time of night. Not here.

The chapel was a substantial sight admittedly, an ostentatious room dedicated to…some moon god? It had more windows than anywhere else, allowing moonlight to fill the room. That light shone off a great moon engraving upon the floor in the centre of the room, and a small, circular silver-rimmed font just before it, filled with gleaming clear water.

Master Rathnodel glanced back at her, as if sensing her uncertainty. “Come along now, Ms Murnor. We are not here to gawk.” He approached the font, gesturing at Nyx to follow.

“My Lord considers your recent performance of your duties to be quite satisfactory. Perhaps even admirable, on occasion.” He said, removing one of his thin white gloves. “He believes that you are now ready for greater responsibility, now that you have, ah, proved yourself.”

Nyx quietly shuddered at the statement, as Rathnodel drew a quill from his pocket and continued. “Of course, such responsibilities will also come with due reward. But that is for you and Lord Lectara to discuss, not I.” With that, he pierced the tip of his middle finger with the quill, and let a single drop of blood fall into the shimmering font.

The stain expanded rapidly, turning the silver pool red within seconds. As it did, the moonlight within the room turned crimson too – and just beyond the font, the moon-engraving rumbled and split apart. Beyond, was a grand stone staircase, leading down into total darkness.

Nyx stared at the abyss before her, and glanced back towards Rathnodel.

His expression was nonchalant. He had done this before. “Go on then.” He said, gesturing forwards. “Do not keep our Lord waiting.”

Reply
1. Marx
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  Wow! You truly outdid yourself with the descriptions in this one! You painted quite the picture and I feel it drove the story forward. And the dialogue that was there felt like a bit of a tease as far as the lore goes, which I absolutely mean as a good thing. For example, you don’t say what Nyx did to prove herself but the reactions of both characters leads me to think it wasn’t a “good” thing lol. Love this take on the prompt!
  
  Reply
Lunabear

August 16, 2021

Quiet Contemplation
by Lunabear (Clatter Moon Universe)

The air after a rainstorm always quiets Monta’s tumultuous mind. It’s strong and earthy. Everything is washed clean away.

If only it were the same way for her Death Touch.

Monta passes the Dream N’ Scream ice cream parlor. Peeking from under her hood, she sees three of her friends, Alden, Galbria, and Piper, all laughing and enjoying scoops. Trivell must be on his own today.

More than anything, she wants to join them, but after Halloween, they’d begun avoiding her.

Well, it FEELS that way to her.
Whenever she asks about it, they give her no answers or say not to worry.

The more she attempts to think about why they might be disregarding her, she’s stonewalled by a headache.

After the disastrous masquerade party, she doesn’t blame them. Still, it rips a new hole in her chest each time.

Monta gives a soft sigh before slogging on.

People walk to and fro, umbrellas raised high to deflect the falling drops. If anyone greets her, she takes no notice.

The tree on Skelter’s Hill waves a solitary hello.

The walk up Sutter Boulevard is longer than she remembers. Monta hunches deeper into her drenched hoodie.

A monument to Clatter Moon’s two founders looms above her as the chapel comes into view.

Any respectable witch would bow and pay tribute in the place of worship, but Monta doesn’t feel worthy.

By the time she reaches the cemetery entrance, she’s soaked to the marrow.

She embraces the chill and how alive it makes her feel.

Monta wishes there were a headstone for Stella. Stella’s parents had been adamant about cremating her, however.

She suppresses a roiling in her stomach at Tyler’s wretched sobs over losing his love. She’ll never forget them as long as she lives.

Hunkering down in a far away corner, Monta listens to the language of the dead.

Nothing moves, but a pressure pushes against her back.

A strong gust of warm wind tickles her face despite the cold rain.

A disheartened smile graces her lips as she plucks tiny blades of grass.

They wither in her grasp.

Reply
1. Alex
  
  August 17, 2021
  
  Clatter Moon witches are back! I love this universe of yours and this town you’ve set it in. Partly because the teenage witches with different powers remind me a bit of the X-Men and I love those, but also because you write them really well. The style here is very introspective, another favorite of mine (I’m… a teeny bit biased).
  
  In all seriousness, you do a really good job at capturing Monta’s grief. I still remember the story from your Halloween submissions last year, but even if I didn’t, it is very clear that this is a person in mourning. Especially those last few lines… the prose in them is both beautiful and heartbreaking.
  
  Great piece!
  
  Reply
2. Deathlyrage
  
  August 18, 2021
  
  When I saw “Death Touch” my first thought was of the show “Pushing Daisies” (a delightfully fun show if you have not seen it. If you have, wonderful!).
  
  This piece portrays the feeling “somber” quite well.
  I have often felt this way in the past, so I honed in on that feeling immediately. I could see the dull-sorrow-laden expression on her face, and I could feel the gripping void that is eating away at her bit by bit.
  I wish I could give her a hug.
  
  I don’t think I have anything to critique about your writing, as I think it’s pretty wonderful.
  
  Great job!
  <3 <3
  
  Reply
3. Makokam
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  I read this and then promptly forgot you were going to post it.
  Derp.
  
  This story really has great visuals and emotion. Lacks some context, but it’s got more than enough to understand what’s going on. We don’t really need to know /exactly/ how she died to understand she feels responsible.
  
  I really hope she’s able to reconcile with her friends.
  
  Reply
Marx

August 16, 2021

Oh Great! Now There’s Two of Them!
By Marx

Daisy appreciated her friends. She really did. She loved how much they cared for her. It really helped her in the tough times. But she also just needed to be alone sometimes and wallow in her misery without someone trying to cheer her up. It made her even more appreciative when they finally allowed her this time to be with her own thoughts.

‘It’s nice to want things,’ A voice echoed in her mind.

Daisy froze. Her blood became ice. She couldn’t breathe. ‘J… Jasmine?’

‘The one and only,’ Daisy’s former friend puckishly answered back.

‘…Alex promised. He PROMISED he’d leave me alone!’

‘Oh, this is all me. After all, the last time I saw you, you were being tortured quite spectacularly. I’m just… checking up on you.’

Daisy shuddered. She didn’t want to think about this. She REALLY didn’t want to think about this. ‘Please… just leave me alone…’

‘Poor Daisy!’ Jasmine mocked, ‘Is that what you tell yourself? That you’re the victim? Did you forget that I was there when you met Alex? He’s a multi-millennia old demon. A chaotic force of nature. You were the one who antagonized HIM. You kicked a bear, thinking it was a chihuahua and got mauled. If he’d been human, you’d have just bullied him like everyone else.’

“And you would have let me!” Daisy screamed, “You didn’t care how horrible I was to people as long as I was nice to YOU! I killed so many for Alex and you’re only angry at me because I didn’t spare YOUR family. You only care about yourself!”

‘Said the coffee pot to the kettle… How black thou art…’

“Screw you.” Daisy sobbed, “At least I’m TRYING to be a better person.”

‘Only because you’d be alone if your new friends knew the real you.’

“This IS the real me!”

‘Right. Keep telling yourself that. It’s sure to stick. Eventually…’ Jasmine’s taunting laughter echoed in Daisy’s mind, ‘See you around, Mutt.’

Finally greeted once again with blissful silence, Daisy stopped holding back her tears.

“…this is the real me…” Daisy whispered almost silently.

Reply
1. Deathlyrage
  
  August 18, 2021
  
  Huh, I’m not sure if I should feel pity towards Daisy out of sympathy, or simply because she is a pitiable person.
  However my overall impression is that I don’t really like her all that much. I think that the relationship between her and Jasmine was displayed quite well, and it was easy to understand that she had a rocky relationship with Daisy because I read this part, “The one and only” in a snide voice. Jasmine definitely seems like someone I’d dislike from the outset, but when I compare her to Daisy I can definitely say that whilst I don’t like her all that much, it’s aeons more than I like Jasmine. Heh.
  
  Nice dialogue choices. The back and forth was great to read, and I could hear the emotional states they were in quite easily.
  
  [:
  <3
  
  Reply
  1. Marx
    
    August 21, 2021
    
    Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed the story. I will fully admit that I like playing around with characters that might not be the most likable and trying to make them compelling. I am glad that Daisy is the more likable of the two, as that was definitely the intention, from her being in such a sympathetic situation if nothing else.
    
    Reply
2. Connor A.
  
  August 18, 2021
  
  Hi! I’m sad now! In all seriousness, this was an amazing piece. Daisy’s internal conflict with her own regret and desire to change alongside her external conflict with Jasmine and the idea that Daisy can’t change is really fascinating. You did a good job showcasing how Daisy’s regret and situation doesn’t change the fact that what she did was terrible.
  
  Reply
  1. Marx
    
    August 21, 2021
    
    Thank you so much! That was very much what I was going for. I did want to tackle, at least to an extent that it’s all good to want to change, but that doesn’t undo the past.
    
    Reply
3. Makokam
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  Oh this was a fun one. In a dark and horrible way.
  
  The whole Daisy & Jasmine thing has always caught my interest, even if I eternally cannot keep then straight. lol
  This honestly just makes me really curious about Jasmine and what she’s up to, and whether she’s staying with Alex out of spite/anger at Daisy….or if she just hasn’t had her conscious kick in. If she has one.
  
  Reply
  1. Marx
    
    August 21, 2021
    
    Lol well, to be fair, they do act rather differently depending on who they’re talking to and where they are in the timeline. So your confusion isn’t without merit considering you don’t get to read the story linearly.
    
    As for Jasmine, Alex made her his thrall so she’s quite literally stuck with him(though, if Daisy is guilty for kicking a bear, thinking it was a chihuahua, then Jasmine is guilty of trying to befriend the bear, knowing its starving, and being surprised she was eaten), it’s just that she can’t get back at Alex, so Daisy is more or less her outlet for her frustration.
    
    Reply
4. Calliope Rannis
  
  August 20, 2021
  
  Aah, Daisy. Always good at making me feel for her, despite the very fucked up and objectively nasty history she has been part of. I like how she was happy at the start to be left alone with her own thoughts, only to very quickly find that this just made her vulnerable to Jasmine talking to her telepathically instead. She truly cannot win, especially if Jasmine keeps on doing that just because she can.
  
  The ‘Alex promised’ bit reminds me of when Jasmine said a similar thing to Daisy, shortly before the latter went and murdered Jasmine’s whole family anyway. Yeah, *he* promised, but Jasmine never did.
  
  The ‘this is the real me’ refrain is a rather horribly sad thing to think about too. Because yeah, is it the real her? Is she becoming a better person for the ‘right’ reasons, or just because she’d be completely alone otherwise? And does the distinction matter at all, I suppose. Either way, it goes back to the immortality thing again – how long can Daisy keep up the ‘being a good person’ thing, in the face of eternity?
  
  Though again, she might not have to worry about that one either. In any case, great story Marx! ^w^
  
  Reply
Alex

August 16, 2021

Tap, Tap, Tap (Darkspell Universe)
By Alex Nightingale (aka Spectre)
(Proofread by Lunabear)

Rosie had nowhere else to run. This was her space, her hideout, her bunker against the darkness and the light of the jagged line in the sky.

The corridor was decked out with gold and opulent carpets. It was quiet, peaceful almost. A respite from what lay outside. She approached the door marked with her number and, with trembling hands, fumbled for her key, almost dropping it.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

She turned and froze. Nothing. Of course not. No one could invade her secret room. Just one more twist.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

She turned the key and slipped into her room. She shut the door, locked it and breathed a sigh of relief, leaning against it.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

It was in the corridor now. But she was safe. Rosie was safe.

Right?

She heard it scratch at the wood of other doors, as it moved ever closer to her room. She looked down at her feet. Her shadow! It could see her shadow!

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Frantically, she hastened through her room and shut off all the lamps.

“Off. Off. Off,” she muttered, as she flicked all the light switches and the room turned dark.

The only light now came through the window, where the jagged, glowing line still glared down. But not here. This was her room. Here, she slept and played and watched TV, before going to sleep at night. She was safe.

Tap. Tap.

There was a shadow under her door. Rosie backed away slowly. Something scratched at her door. The heavy wood began to splinter. Rot spread over the concrete walls.

Tap.

The shadow turned away. She breathed a monumental sigh of relief. She heard more scratching on other doors, as the thing kept searching. It tested every door and had passed her by, passed her fortress and moved on.

Her heart stopped, as a sudden thought struck her.

Was her door the only one that was locked?

Tap.

Something grabbed her by the ankle and yanked her to the floor. Before she could scream, she was dragged under the bed and into total darkness.

Reply
1. Deathlyrage
  
  August 18, 2021
  
  I don’t quite know what the thing is that she’s running from, and while a bit of mystery is definitely great, I think when it’s juxtaposed against the “light of the jagged line…” I feel I am missing something quite a bit.
  As well I understand that this is from an expanded universe you’ve created, and taking a snippet from that world and making it a self-contained short story is quite difficult. To that point I think you did quite well.
  
  I think that it was a fun choice to use a boogieman-like entity as the antagonist. It’s always interesting to see how people use things that would normally just be imaginary fears, and make them have a physical force in a story universe.
  
  Great job. [:
  <3
  
  Reply
2. Connor A.
  
  August 18, 2021
  
  This was a cool way of twisting the prompt. When I first heard of it I was expecting a lot of calmer pieces about escaping problems, so making a horror piece surrounding the idea of that secret place being breached was amazing, especially with your way of building tension in serious moments. Great job as always.
  
  Reply
3. i-prefer-the-term-antihero
  
  August 19, 2021
  
  YES
  I don’t know if you were thinking of me when you wrote this, but I feels like you were, after what I said last week XD
  
  “The corridor was decked out with gold and opulent carpets. It was quiet, peaceful almost. A respite from what lay outside. She approached the door marked with her number and, with trembling hands, fumbled for her key, almost dropping it.”
  –This was a great way to set up the scene. It tells us she’s in an apartment or hotel, perhaps a fancy one, it tells us that peace will be broken, and it tells us she’s scared/running from something before you get to the taps. The “almost” is great too.
  
  The taps are a risky move to use words on, but one I think works well. Definitely has that classic horror-movie, something’s-coming vibe, which works well to make the audience feels unsafe, as well as Rosie.
  It’s risky…but it’s also easy to see when scrolling, and thus it also draws me XD (Yours is usually towards the bottom, so when I read your stories, I scroll to the bottom and then go up until I find yours. When I saw the taps I was like “Please tell me this is Alex’s” XD)
  
  “But she was safe. Rosie was safe.”
  –I really like that you sorta substituted “secret” for “safe” and that you kept having her repeat how she thought she was safe, because it cements how she’s not safe at all, I think that *is* what it feels like when you’re in that situation…unfortunately.
  
  “She heard it scratch at the wood of other doors, as it moved ever closer to her room. She looked down at her feet. Her shadow! It could see her shadow!”
  –Nice and terrifying. The use of the fact that seeing her shadow revealed her feels very realistic and that makes it more scary.
  
  “This was her room. Here, she slept and played and watched TV, before going to sleep at night. She was safe.”
  –I love the progression. That it starts in her building/hallway, then her house, then her room, going from secret/safe place to *more* secret/safe place, only to find none of it is either.
  
  “There was a shadow under her door. Rosie backed away slowly. Something scratched at her door. The heavy wood began to splinter. Rot spread over the concrete walls.”
  –This was probably my favorite image. I really like the rot image especially. It turns this being from general horror to something more supernatural and/or magical, and accentuates that “coming for you” image as the rot spreads.
  
  The end is great too. It reminds me of that Doctor Who episode “Listen.” The (apparently) primal fear, of putting your feet over the bed and something grabbing your ankle.
  
  I love this!! Such a great twist on the prompt
  
  Reply