Writing Group: Describe the Colour Purple (PRIVATE)

Mar 28, 2022

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in Community, Private Submissions, Writing Group

Hello, all you Wacky Waving Arm-Flailing Inflatable Tube People!

Do you have any favourite pranks and gags? Any go-to goofs and jokes? Do you sometimes make yourself laugh so hard you get light-headed? Then you’ve come to the right place, because…

This week’s Writing Group prompt is:

Describe the Colour Purple

RULES AND GUIDELINES BELOW!
Make sure you scroll down and read them if you haven’t! You may not be eligible if you don’t!

For this upcoming April Fool’s Day, we decided to go with a more silly prompt! One that is so vague it could literally be anything your goofy mind wants it to be!

You can describe what purple would taste like, for example. Is it crispy? Is it sweet and chewy? Dense? Maybe it’s even spicy? Maybe it tastes so good that you can’t stop eating it. Or maybe it tastes like all normal foods because you just like to put purple food colouring on everything you consume. Step aside, green eggs and ham! Purple pancakes and bacon are on the rise!

What about what it smells or feels like? It could be a gentle lavender scent on freshly pressed bedsheets! Or it could be a fluffy feeling as you whip your purple yams into mash! Grape scented shampoos, Catmint scented candles, or even just Amethyst Deceiver mushrooms on their own, there’s all kinds of scents and textures purple can have!

Purple can even sound like anything! Play a purple kazoo, or listen to a purple slinky folding on and on down a set of stairs! Smack some PlayDough, throw a rubber Sticky Hand against the wall, or shake your head with your Spring-Eyed Glasses on and listen to the weird sounds they make! Anything is possible!

So get out there and show us your silly side! If you want to write about the one time you were sure you actually met the One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying Purple People Eater and lived to tell the tale, by all means do it! If you want to write about the kaleidoscope toy you had that was all blues and purples and silvers and made you dizzy, go ahead!

*Silly glasses, playdough, slinkys, sticky hands, and kazoos not included

—Shawna

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Remember, this is part of our weekly Writing Group stream! Submit a little piece following the rules and guidelines below, and there’s a chance your entry will be read live on stream! In addition, we’ll discuss it for a minute and give you some feedback.

Tune into the stream this Saturday at 3:00pm CST to see if you made the cut!

The whole purpose of this is to show off the creativity of the community, while also helping each other to become better writers. Lean into that spirit! Get ready not just to share what you’ve got, but to give back to the other writers here as well.

Rules and Guidelines

We read at least four stories during each stream, two of which come from the public post, and two of which come from the much smaller private post. Submissions are randomly selected by a bot, but likes on your post will improve your chances of selection, so be sure to share your submission on social media!

Text and Formatting

English only.

Prose only, no poetry or lyrics.

Use proper spelling, grammar, and syntax.

Your piece must be between 250-350 words (you can use this website to see your wordcount).

Use two paragraph breaks between each paragraph so that they have a proper space between them (press “enter” or “return” twice).

Include a submission title and an author name (doesn’t have to be your real name). Do not include any additional symbols or flourishes in this part of your submission. Format them exactly as you see in this example, or your submission may not be eligible: Example Submission.

No additional text styling (such as italics or bold text). Do not use asterisks, hyphens, or any other symbol to indicate whether text should be bold, italic, or styled in any other way. CAPS are okay, though.

What to Submit

Keep submissions “safe-for-work”; be sparing with sexuality, violence, and profanity.

Try to focus on making your submission a single meaningful moment rather than an entire story.

Write something brand new; no re-submitting past entries or pieces written for other purposes

No fan fiction whatsoever. Take inspiration from whatever you’d like, but be transformative and creative with it. By submitting, you also agree that your piece does not infringe on any existing copyrights or trademarks, and you have full license to use it.

Submissions must be self-contained (everything essential to understanding the piece is contained within the context of the piece itself—no mandatory reading outside the piece required. e.g., if you want to write two different pieces in the same setting or larger narrative, you cannot rely on information from one piece to fill in for the other—they must both give that context independently).

Submission Rules

One submission per participant.

Submit your entry in a comment on this post.

Submissions close at 12:00pm CST each Friday.

You must like and leave a review on two other submissions to be eligible. Your reviews must be at least 50 words long, and must be left directly on the submission you are reviewing, not on another comment. If you’re submitting to the private post, feel free to leave these reviews on either the private or the public post. The two submissions you like need not be the same as the submissions you review.

Be constructive and uplifting. These submissions are not for a professional market, and shouldn’t be treated as such. We do this, first and foremost, for the joy of the craft. Help other writers to feel like their work is valuable, and be considerate and gentle with critique when you offer it. Authors who leave particularly abrasive or disheartening remarks on this post will be disqualified from selection for readings.

Use the same e-mail for your posts, reviews, and likes, or you may be rendered ineligible (you may change your username or author name between posts without problem, however).

You may submit to either or both the public/private groups if you have access, but if you decide to submit to both, only the private group submission will be eligible.

Understand that by submitting here, you are giving us permission to read your submission aloud live on stream and upload public, archived recordings of said stream to our social media platforms. You will always be credited, but only by the author name you supply as per these rules. No other links or attributions are guaranteed.

Comments on this post that aren’t submissions will be deleted, except for replies/reviews left on existing submissions.

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45 responses to “Writing Group: Describe the Colour Purple (PRIVATE)”

WolfsbaneX

April 2, 2022

“What’s Purple?”
By Hemming Sebastian Bane

The door swung open and a chemical smell mixed with the smell of Mama’s stew.

“Papa!”

I grabbed my cane and stood up. I heard him chuckle softly.

“Not now, Vaiva. I’m still in my work clothes. Let me change into something clean.”

“Okay, Papa!”

His heavy footfalls went towards the bedroom, and I heard him shut the door. With some sounds of shifting clothes, I heard the door open again and heard Papa’s footsteps approach the table where I stood. Using my cane, I found his chair and pulled it out for him. Wordlessly, he sat down, scooted up to the table, and patted my head. I almost tripped over myself as I returned to my chair.

Papa hummed in content. Then I heard metal against metal. Mama must be stirring the stew. I heard her fill up the bowls and set them in front of us. Immediately, I heard Papa’s wooden spoon leave the table and clatter into the bowl. He scarfed and slurped like a starving beast.

“Jokubas! We gotta say grace first!”

Papa’s bowl hit the table. “The rich man says grace before a meal; the working man says it at the beginning of every day.”

“Heptadeka preserve me…”

I heard more stew plop into Papa’s bowl.

“Wow, you’re hungry today, Papa!”

“We worked really hard today. We spent all day dying silk purple.” I heard him start slurping again.

“Papa, what’s purple?”

The house fell silent. Did… did I say something wrong? Papa pushed his bowl away.

“Well, purple’s this color fancy folks like. It’s pretty and it lets people know they’re important.”

Papa’s bowl slid back to him and he started eating again.

“Maybe someday I can have something purple.”

The supper went on without another word. A week passed and Papa came home tired as always, but there was a lightness in his step. Instead of going to the bedroom, he approached me and fumbled with something.

“Vaiva, let me see your cane.”

After the sound of tying cloth, he handed it back to me.

“There you are, my dear. There’s your purple.”

Reply
Lunabear

April 2, 2022

Around and Around It Goes, When and Where It Ends…
by Lunabear (CW/TW: violence, blood, death)

Caruso chased his beloved Desiree through the bustling streets of Rome. Her short yellow strands splayed and swirled in the wind.

He left angry shouts and heated scowls behind as she darted down a shadowed alley. She backed against the wall, an intermix of love and fear culminating in her eyes.

Caruso took her face in his hands and gently kissed her lips. Next, he rested his nose against the base of her throat. Even though he knew what the smell signified, he inhaled deeply of the lavender oil coating her skin.

“Does your betrothed cause you such pleasure?” Caruso teased shakily.

Desiree helplessly entwined her arms around his neck, trembling as he kissed her collarbone.

“We do not speak of him, my dearest. You know this.” She was breathless from his touch.

Tears trickled from them both.

Caruso’s eyes emanated amethyst, and the same color webbed through the veins of his face and neck.

“I’m sorry, my beloved.” Caruso slammed his hand into Desiree’s chest. Twice. Thrice.

Desiree screamed through the agony, but she still found reason to smile. “I’ll wait for you,” she rasped with her dying breath.

“I’ll find you again. And again. I promise.”

The bloody knife thunked into the dirt.

The gathered mob behind him turned vicious at the heinous sight. He was bound and dragged away, surely to his death, for murdering the high priest’s promised one.

“We’ll stop it next time!” he swore with all of his being.

*****

Megan bolted out of bed, sweat cascading from her pores. No matter how much she cleaned and scrubbed–and even when she sweated–the scent of lavender menaced her. Her every waking hour. Her sleep, her memories.

Megan could still feel her beloved’s blood on her fingers, the weight of the knife in her hand. She shambled to the window, looking out over the bustling night streets from her high rise. She pushed it open and sighed from the relieving breeze.

Somewhere, Megan’s love was out there, and she had to find them.

This life, this cycle, they would stop it. She wasn’t strong enough for another.

Reply
1. Barney
  
  April 2, 2022
  
  Yesssss, I’m a sucker for lovers finding each other through multiple lives! (Especially when their relationship is complicated!) This piece gives me many questions and almost no answers; if it’s a one-shot, I think that’s the way to go. It’s about the *moments,* the sensory experiences. But if it’s part of a bigger story, I definitely want to know all the things! Most especially, WHY?
  
  Reply
Rattus

April 1, 2022

Indescribable (Illusions of Heroes)
by Gerrit (Rattus)

“Looks like you have a visitor.” Niri’s voice pulled Emrys’s attention to the door. Standing in the doorframe, travel cloak soaked from the pouring rain, stood Serennia.

Emrys rose from his chair, mouth slightly agape, desperately searching for any words that might convey his feelings. Only one word was able to break through the silence.

“Ren.”

Niri stood from her seat, tapping her hand against the table a couple of times. “I’ll leave you two alone.” Without another word she walked past Serennia and out the door, closing it behind her.

The two former lovers were left alone in the room, with nothing more than a table and a hundred unspoken emotions between them.

“What are you doing here?” Emrys asked.

“I figured you’d be happier to see me.” Serennia dropped the hood of her cloak, and her face was even more beautiful than Emrys remembered.

“I am happy, I just…after everything that happened I didn’t think you would want to see me again.”

“I didn’t, at the time.” She took a few steps towards him, rounding the table towards him. “But the more I thought about it, the more I thought about you, the more I realized that I couldn’t stay away.”

“Ren, you deserve better. I hurt you. And I can’t promise it won’t happen again.”

Her hand went to her arm, where Emrys’s blade had cut her. “I’ve been through worse. Besides, I know it wasn’t really you who did it. It was your body, but not your mind. Not your heart.”

She was mere inches from him now, her arms resting on his shoulders, hands clasped behind his back.

“How can you still feel this way about me?”

“How can you explain colour to a blind person? Some things are just indescribable, Emrys. All I know is that I love you, and you’re just gonna have to accept that.”

She smiled, that playful smile that he had missed so much.

Without another thought he pulled her in, and their lips killed the distance between them.

Reply
jesse fisher

April 1, 2022

War of the colors
By Jesse Fisher

The blue robot stared at the screen in front of him, even as he looked it over and it reflected off of his visor. The words were clear and the meaning understood.

“But how?”

His silver gray hands hovered over the keys ready to go until something came to his mind and multiple ideas flowed.

“Are we going with the HEX CODE?”

“No RGB is the best one!”

“Maybe HTML, that would allow us to further break it down.”

“HSL is also good.”

“Pantone might be more in line as that is physical.”

Indecision locked him up, the line of code began to fight with itself. Which process was best to use to execute the request. As such the multiple lines of codes began to pick holes in each other’s positions.

Days go by, the monitor had long gone into sleep mode as the bot remained trapped in a statue of a statue. Lines of code seemed to move behind his visor as if a newsfeed played beyond.

—

The land was once peaceful, and then the armies of color began to fight with a passion that only self righteous people could.

The Hex Horde was the most massive among them all, axes raised in a war cry as they charged. The Kingdoms of Royal Grand Blades and High Thaumaturgy Magical League joined to defend from the horde. Pantonians and Highland Source League fell to the horde in the first days of the war.

This was to be the last fight, the armies set up and began to fight. Then the earthquake shook their world.

—

The blue robot shook himself as he woke up the screen.

“Screw it purple aint worth it.”

Reply
1. MasaCur
  
  April 1, 2022
  
  I’m actually amused by the concept of your robot trying to decide which code to use to express purple, even going so far as to…dream? Visually represent the various code models in a war with one another. And then finally just decide it’s not important enough to spend processing power on. The end gave me a good laugh. Thanks for the story, Toa.
  
  Reply
Glaceon373

March 30, 2022

An Art Lesson
by Carrie (Glaceon373)

Imagine red. Now imagine blue. Now imagine dumping them into a bucket and stirring it with a stick.

That’s purple, right? At first, yes. But not really. There’s something I need to acknowledge.

You see, purple isn’t real.

Don’t freak out! I understand that was a bold statement, but let me finish.

The wavelengths of visible light only make up a small piece of the entire light spectrum, yes? Common knowledge, don’t need to go into detail…? Good, I’m not one for science talk. I majored in art, not physics.

Anyways, red light is on one end of the visible spectrum and violet light is on the other. Not magenta, not burgundy, nor any of the reddy purples. Those aren’t on the visible light spectrum, so how can we see them?

Simple: our brains make them up, blending short and long frequencies together.

Weird, right? But isn’t it fascinating? That we can make up colors, I mean? Apologies, I wasn’t a neuroscience major either. I understand I’m not talking about things I’m an expert in, but I think it’s important.

There are shades of purple that are not real. But does that stop us from enjoying purple? Does that stop purple from being in advertising everywhere, being a lovely addition to our flower collections—heck, being the names of many flowers?

We love purple, and some parts of purple are just something our brains made up.

Did we do the same for our stories, our myths and legends? Or maybe our anxieties, as we struggle to let them go? The doubts we hold about whether or not our loved ones truly love us back? Our ungrounded worries and fears?

… I’ll stop now. I wasn’t a philosophy major either.

I’ve rambled long enough. No homework, but you can turn in a piece made with just shades of purple by next class for extra credit. I just wanted to talk about my favorite color for a bit today.

And yes, before you ask, it is my favorite color, which is also why it’s the color of my hair. Class dismissed!

Reply
1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero
  
  March 30, 2022
  
  Aww, this is delightful, Carrie!!
  I was grinning the whole first half, and then I almost started tearing up at the end. I love how you combined fluffiness and some more real transcendent ideas. It’s very cool.
  
  Is all this true? I remember learning stuff like this in physics–(like the fact that white light is all the frequencies on the visible spectrum)–but I can’t remember if I learned this about purple exactly XD But if it is, it’s not just a story about an art lesson, but an *actual* art lesson!! Which is really neat and meta!!
  
  “Imagine red. Now imagine blue. Now imagine dumping them into a bucket and stirring it with a stick.”
  –A great opener with this prompt!
  
  “You see, purple isn’t real”
  –When I hit this line I honestly thought the piece was going to go in a conspiracy direction XD
  
  I absolutely adore the whole section from “There are shades of purple that are not real.” to “I wasn’t a philosophy major either.”
  When you were talking about us enjoying purple I was already going “aww that’s a really lovely idea, actually” and my brain was starting to go to a deeper place, and then you *actually* took it to a deeper place, which I think is just really cool. This is definitely the type of transcendence I love.
  Just because something isn’t strictly “real” doesn’t mean it can’t effect us, or isn’t important.
  And what is real anyways? 😉
  
  I also love the “I wasn’t a X major” thing throughout the piece. It’s a neat little voice/humorous through-line.
  
  The end is really delightful too. I love the narrator’s voice/personality. And the second person is neat. Honestly at first I was wondering if this was you just writing as yourself teaching us XD But once I got to the end I was like “Yup, this is exactly like how art teachers are.”
  
  Wonderful job!!
  
  Reply
2. Barney
  
  March 30, 2022
  
  I really like this! A monologue feels like the perfect format to answer this particular prompt. You managed to put so much character into the speaker without a shred of action or description (other than that purple hair at the end); I’m impressed! This is a character I would love to get to know if they were real.
  
  Funny side note, I found myself reading parts of this in Talebot’s voice, and then the podcaster Travis McElroy.
  
  Reply
3. RVMPLSTLTSKN
  
  March 31, 2022
  
  Tagback!
  
  It took me a while to grasp it, but this piece has a really neat structure! Tying it all together into her hair is a nice touch.
  
  I think, for critique, changing the “art major” bit to ‘artist’ or ‘art teacher’ might tighten the tale up a bit.
  
  Good work!
  
  Reply
i-prefer-the-term-antihero

March 29, 2022

[Removed]

Reply
1. Glaceon373
  
  March 30, 2022
  
  Kaylie, what a surprisingly serious take on a very silly prompt. Even if it’s a tiger talking to a wolf king. I really like how you made the atmosphere of this piece. There are no visual descriptors of the setting, but I still got a very clear mental image of a mainly-natural zone with a great view of the sky and a slight hint of a pleasant breeze. Maybe that’s from the word “Refuge” alone, but since I don’t know much of Savion’s place in your world, I’m just making up something pretty to fit the pretty dialogue. This is a lovely piece, Kaylie. Great job!
  
  Reply
2. Barney
  
  March 30, 2022
  
  This piece is positively poetic! I’ve got a mental collection of people trying to describe colors, and now this is part of that collection. There’s a point in The Giver where the protagonist is trying to wrap his mind around the color red, and there were moments of your piece where the character was experiencing similar questions and overwhelm.
  
  Purple descriptions aside, I thought you did a great job giving us bits of information about the characters in short sentences, just a few words here and there. I always appreciate that skill 🙂
  
  Reply
3. Marx
  
  March 30, 2022
  
  Oooo loving the Jungle Book vibes here. And I swear that’s LITERALLY my thought process with this question. Just that it should be easy, then the realization that it isn’t, and then gradually more and more flowery language as I try to describe it.
  
  And that’s without a tiger patiently waiting for the answer with a canon of snark prepared to fire.
  
  As always, the more I see of this world, the more intrigued I am to see more.
  
  Reply
4. RVMPLSTLTSKN
  
  March 31, 2022
  
  Tagback!
  
  Savion is really a nervous wreck waiting to explode, isn’t he? He seems to have not quite grasped his position, but at the same time, knows his place. Is this an effect of the body changes (a sort of manifested dysmorphia?)?
  
  I really like the ending line. Dalchren seems less like an antagonist and more like a straightman to a joke in this piece and it works really well.
  
  Great job!
  
  Reply
5. MasaCur
  
  April 1, 2022
  
  This was really lovely. The poetry of things that are purple, the way it feels emotionally. I was entranced by how one legitimately tries to convey a color, made even more difficult when trying to think of how to explain it to an animal that is color blind. I love how all this imagery flashes through Savion’s mind, who is probably also baffled by this; I’m not sure how long he’s been human for at this point, but he obviously had never seen colors until he was transformed. This was a great read, Anti.
  
  Reply
6. Rattus
  
  April 1, 2022
  
  This was beautiful! I don’t know who Dachren is but I definitely want to see more of him! (And not just because he’s one of my favourite animals, of course not) This piece was a lot more serious than I expected, but I like that you still managed to work in a couple more lighthearted moments to help relieve the tension. The description you used of the colour purple was absolutely beautiful. This piece was very well done!
  
  Reply
DesOttsel

March 29, 2022

Purple-Tinted Glasses
by Gage Jarman

Purple is, well, it’s purply. It’s cool. It brings to mind royalty and excellence, except when it’s lighter. A pastel purple, that’s garish and not the wonderful purple we desire. This isn’t convincing enough. Well, not many animals are purple. Mollusks and fish and cnidarians, but worms are simply splendid….

Oh right, I guess you haven’t seen any of that. Do not worry, enlightenment will come. Why don’t I just show you. It will take but a moment. I suppose it’ll actually be longer. Several minutes, hours, days is probably more apt, but I will show you the glory of purple if you are compliant. Relax. Everything is ok. I only have to, hrrng, place these restraints on your person to protect you from yourself. I assure you, you are safe. I have done this many times, most of them successfully I might add…. What, no. We’ve come too far. I nearly have the equipment in place. No, stop, stop your struggling. It might make the procedure go awry, and neither of us would like that. They need a host and purple shall be their vessel. You wanted to see didn’t you, and you shall, through their glorious purple eyes. Oh, you are a lucky man indeed. Purple is a blessing. Once they take root, you will realize how right I was. I can hardly contain myself. What jubilation we shall have….

Stop it!… Hhhhhh, my apologies, that was unbecoming, but a vessel must not cry, no no no. You really are souring the mood, but this gag should help alleviate that…. There we are. Oh come now, this is something to celebrate. However, you may feel a bite or two or twelve, do not mind it. The purple do not always find the right places to attach at first, but that is a small price to pay. Don’t you think? Of course you do. Now, we just have to remove the eyelids. Shhh stay very still. We wouldn’t want to damage those wonderful orbs beneath. Your rebirth is at hand. What a wonderful purple existence it will be.

Reply
1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero
  
  March 30, 2022
  
  Oooh this is a neat one, Des!!
  
  The beginning made me think this was going to be a silly piece, and I love how you slowly drew it into a darker and darker place. It was extremely effective!! And the narrator’s voice is superb. How they describe these terrible things in more funny io light ways is fantastic.
  
  Knowing what’s coming, it’s interesting when I hit the line “Why don’t I just show you.” It’s such a great first step into the darkness, because at first it seems like a magician about to show you a trick, or a curator excited about a piece in a museum, rather than a mad scientist about to *do* something to you.
  
  “It will take but a moment. I suppose it’ll actually be longer. Several minutes, hours, days is probably more apt, but I will show you the glory of purple if you are compliant.”
  –I really love this. I love how you used the “it will take but a moment” cliche and then you turned it on its head. And “the glory of purple” is way too fun a phrase XD
  
  ” I only have to, hrrng, place these restraints on your person to protect you from yourself.”
  –And here’s where the slowly blossoming badness becomes more overt. Love it. I love the narrator’s tone, and how they try to spin everything for the positive/harmless.
  
  ” I have done this many times, most of them successfully I might add”
  –This is too funny XD A perfect blend of funny and “oh no”
  
  “They need a host and purple shall be their vessel.”
  –I was so intrigued when I hit this part. This is such a cool and fun idea
  
  ” Stop it!… Hhhhhh, my apologies, that was unbecoming, but a vessel must not cry, no no no. ”
  –This is fun. Though I also really have no clue what happened here…
  
  “but this gag should help alleviate that….”
  –Nice way to keep escalating the situation, and keep in line with the narrator trying to spin everything for “your” good.
  
  “Now, we just have to remove the eyelids.”
  –And here’s where the this-is-very-bad-but-also-rather-silly goes into some true horror. Just like in the rest of the piece, the progression to this place is fantastically done.
  
  ” Your rebirth is at hand. What a wonderful purple existence it will be.”
  –Amazing last line with this prompt XD
  
  My one question/critique would be…what made you decide to make this all one paragraph? I would guess that it’s to make everything feel very flowy, one thing flowing into the next, and perhaps to add a stream-of-consciousness vibe to it? And it does do that… though I think the story would be just as potent–perhaps even more so–if it was split up into paragraphs.
  
  Wonderful job!! Love the use of the prompt!!
  
  Reply
  1. DesOttsel
    
    March 30, 2022
    
    Ok, so the hhhhh is them sighing to regain composure and the victim is the vessel, so they blew up at the panicking blind person and needed to recenter because one can’t damage a useful vessel.
    
    I’m not sure why I chose to do one paragraph and only ellipses when the victim is interrupting them and he’s pausing, but not actually showing the victim. It just felt right. I thought about breaking it up several times, but the block of text just felt more unsettling and natural, so I went with my intuition even though I’m not sure why and my brain is telling me to stop being stupid and break it up. So, I can’t tell ya. I’m glad that you liked it though. It was really fun to write.
    
    Reply
2. RVMPLSTLTSKN
  
  March 31, 2022
  
  Tagback!
  
  This is unsettling, to say the least. I’ve read a fair number of cultist descriptions and this is one of the more deranged examples I’ve come across.
  
  My one critique is the lack of paragraph breaks. Makes it more difficult to read. Having them could give you an extra sense of pacing as well.
  
  Good work!
  
  Reply
Calliope Rannis

March 29, 2022

Memories From Before The Fog (Mary’s Story)
By Calliope Rannis

“Have you seen many purple things?” Daisy had asked her once, during a long evening by the fire.

“…What?” Mary had replied, turning stiffly to face her goblin friend.

Daisy winced, aware of the subject’s delicate nature. “Sorry, I know that’s maybe a strange thing to ask you, but – well, I haven’t seen much of it. Any dye like that is extremely expensive, and my hometown didn’t have that kind of money…”

Mary relaxed a little, waiting for her friend to finish.

“…So I thought, Mary might have seen more, right? The purple dye is hard to find in the wild, but you lived there all your life, so – I was wondering.” Her hands were clenched tightly together, but her eyes remained hopefully curious.

She thought for a moment. Grey memories flowed through her, falling back into older visions of fading colour. Visions of a younger forest, full of flowers and trees and animals, before she was taken away from them. “I’ve seen a few, yes.”

“Oh?” Her friend’s face brightened. “What were they?”

The visions became clearer. “Flowers, mostly. Thistle, Lavender, Catmint…Foxglove, Wisteria…” As she spoke their names, a shimmering image of each flower formed within her hand, shining for a moment before fading into the next.

Daisy’s eyes went wide, a smile breaking across her face as she looked upon flowers she’d never had the chance to see before.

Mary looked upon those same illusionary flowers, and all she saw was grey.

She knew they were purple. She knew from Daisy’s reaction that their colour was right. She knew, because they had been conjured from her memories of colour, when her sight was bright and living.

But no matter how beautiful, how vivid those memories may be, she simply couldn’t make her darkened dead eyes see them in anything but blacks and greys. For her, colour was now secluded within her dreams.

Or they would be, if she could dream…

“Mary? You okay?” Daisy’s voice, worried once again.

Mary opened her eyes. “No. Not really.” She attempted a smile. “But you do make my days a little brighter.”

Reply
1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero
  
  March 29, 2022
  
  I do love me some Mary content!! I think I’m also finding I love me some Daisy content too XD They’re both just wonderful, and I love how they play off each other in this story.
  
  The title is neat. I like that the colorblindness+ is a “fog.” It’s a very fitting image.
  
  “Daisy winced, aware of the subject’s delicate nature.”
  –I’m curious what exactly she’s aware of here, and how it came up?
  
  “well, I haven’t seen much of it. Any dye like that is extremely expensive, and my hometown didn’t have that kind of money…”
  –While this story is a lot about Mary, I find this little character detail about Daisy really interesting too. It also shows Daisy’s character that she is curious and interested about the world and wants to see and experience things she never got to back home.
  
  “The purple dye is hard to find in the wild, but you lived there all your life, so”
  –‘There’ being “the wild” or ‘there’ being “a fancy mansion that might have fancy, purple, non-wild stuff”?
  I’m assuming you meant the former though at first my mind went to the latter.
  
  “She thought for a moment. Grey memories flowed through her, falling back into older visions of fading colour. Visions of a younger forest, full of flowers and trees and animals, before she was taken away from them. “I’ve seen a few, yes.””
  –A beautiful paragraph and a sad image.
  What a terrible thing it would be to have memories of color, and then have the rest of your memories in black and white.
  People like to say “it’s better to have loved and lost” but I think there are some cases in which it isn’t, and this would be one of them. Well, I suppose that’s up to Mary to decide. But I think it would be far more torturous to know what color is and not be able to see it later in life/undeath, rather than to never have known what it is.
  It’s also interesting how the forest is younger in those memories. She may have gotten to see the forest again later, but she wouldn’t see it in color, so the colorful image will always be forever young. She’ll never know today’s forest in the same way that she knew the young forest. The young forest trapped vivid and unchanging in memory.
  
  “The visions became clearer. “Flowers, mostly. Thistle, Lavender, Catmint…Foxglove, Wisteria…” As she spoke their names, a shimmering image of each flower formed within her hand, shining for a moment before fading into the next.”
  –Our sweet nature girl. I love when characters have really specific interests like this.
  I’m guessing the memories are both a source of joy and pain. It’s wonderful to be able to remember them, but, like the illusion, and like the flowers themselves, they each fade away into her mind, the memories dimming with time.
  I like the image of her creating little illusions too.
  Also
  Me: *reads “wisteria”*
  Me: *gives you a look, and we both know what it means*
  
  “Daisy’s eyes went wide, a smile breaking across her face as she looked upon flowers she’d never had the chance to see before.
  Mary looked upon those same illusionary flowers, and all she saw was grey.”
  –The first line is such a lovely image, and the second such a sad one. And are great both individually and as a contrast.
  Despite the fact that Mary can never see these flowers in color again, she is able to show them to someone who’s never seen them at *all* and that is lovely.
  
  The next two paragraphs are beautifully written, and heartbreaking.
  It’s so weird to think that she’s remembering them in color, and conjuring them from that, but can’t see what she conjures in color in front of her.
  I’m curious if she’s tried to *make* “her darkened dead eyes see…” and if so, what method’s she’s used…
  
  “For her, colour was now secluded within her dreams.
  Or they would be, if she could dream…”
  –My gosh what a powerful and horrifying line. That first line makes sense and feels wistful and longing, but the next feels like a knife coming out of nowhere.
  A life without color would be hard to bear…but a life without color *and* without dreams? No relief or escape? *Shudders*
  
  “Mary opened her eyes. “No. Not really.” She attempted a smile. “But you do make my days a little brighter.”
  –Wow, what an awesome response. And one that shows her character too.
  I wish I could be that honest when asked that question–both with others and myself.
  I also love that it’s not a purely negative response. She might have a torturous existence, but she can still see hope. It is neat that that’s the note the story ends on too, so we’re not left with total heartbreak.
  
  Wonderful story!!
  
  Reply
2. DesOttsel
  
  March 29, 2022
  
  Aww, this is so sweet and surprisingly listless. I love how you tie the images to an emotion. It’s very evocative and conveys the emotions so well. The descriptions also give off the illusion of time passing as she’s lost in thought. I don’t think I have anything to critique. This piece is pretty tight. I guess if I was to nitpick, “Daisy had asked her once” makes the story appear as though it takes place in the past, but the rest of the story reads as though it’s currently happening. I think if you placed the first line of dialogue, it would function better as a flash back, but since it’s after the dialogue and thus, during the story, it makes it a bit awkward, but that’s a pretty minor problem and I didn’t notice it on the first read. Great job
  
  Reply
3. Barney
  
  March 30, 2022
  
  Sooooo I misread the title at first and was so confused why there were no frogs
  
  But once I figured out my mistake I had a great time with this! Losing much of my sight would be devastating, and I hurt for Mary. It’s really cool that she’s still able to create colorful illusions, though, bring some brightness and joy to other people around her.
  
  It’s a bittersweet scene, written just such that it has a purple vibe to my synesthesia. Well done!
  
  Reply
  1. Calliope Rannis
    
    March 31, 2022
    
    Awww, that is a very cute misinterpretation of the title at least! And Mary does love nature in general, so frogs are not unlikely to be a topic for her at some point. XD
    
    Oh yeah, I am glad the loss of that sensation came across well. Sadly, it’s far from the only thing she has lost…
    
    And oh, I’m very happy that the story even feels purple to you! Thank you for your review! ^w^
    
    Reply
MasaCur

March 28, 2022

The Taste of Purple
By MasaCur

Miki wandered around Sakurami’s fourth floor, made up of labs for the science classes. She hadn’t spent much time up there.

One of the rooms had a bunch of students in it. In the far corner, a pink-haired girl was looking at a violet fluid in a test tube, a thermometer suspended in it.

Miki walked up to her. “Hi! Whatcha doing? I’m Miki, by the way.”

The girl glanced up at her, then grabbed a pair of folding safety goggles, and passed them to Miki.

“Oh, uh, thanks. But they don’t go with my hair,” Miki replied. She placed the goggles on the lab bench.

The girl narrowed her eyes, then grabbed the white board, and wrote furiously on it.

I’m recording the temperature of this solution, she wrote. It displays an amazing endothermic reaction to oxygen. .

“Oh! You poor dear. You must be deaf!” Miki exclaimed.

The girl frowned and wiped the board clean, then wrote on it again.

I’m not deaf. I have social mutism.

Miki gasped in surprise. “You’re a mutant? What’s your power?”

The girl glared at Miki. She was only drawn away when her phone beeped. She glanced at it, then wrote the temperature displayed on the thermometer.

Miki got bored. She saw a flask with more of the violet liquid in it.

“Making a new flavor of soft drink?” Miki asked. “Can I try?”

Without waiting, Miki popped the flask open, and took a sip of it. Then a swallow.

“What are you doing?” the girl screamed.

Everyone looked over at them.

“Oh my gosh! Me drinking this gave you the ability to speak!” Miki said with glee.

“You don’t know what’s in that!” the girl shouted. “It could have been poisonous!”

“It tastes like purple.”

The girl stared at Miki in disbelief.

“Purple isn’t a flavor; it’s a color!”

“No, it tastes like how purple looks.” Miki shook her head. “I thought you science types were smart.”

The girl clenched her jaw and glared at Miki. On the white board, in large letters, she wrote, Get out!

Reply
1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero
  
  March 29, 2022
  
  Aww this is really cute!!
  I vaguely saw you and Luna discussing Miki’s airheadedness earlier but I honestly wasn’t expecting it to be to *that* extent XD It’s a very fun story though, a very enjoyable read.
  
  By the fact that she’s referred to as “the girl” I’m guessing that the socially mute girl was probably created solely for this story, but I’d honestly love to see more of her. Social mutism is not something I see portrayed in stories often and it instantly makes me curious about her.
  
  ““Oh, uh, thanks. But they don’t go with my hair,”
  –“Sorry, eye safety doesn’t go with my hair” XD
  This is equal parts annoying and funny (~~like almost every line Miki has~~).
  
  “You’re a mutant? What’s your power?”
  –XD
  Out of curiosity…are there some form of mutants in the GB world?
  
  I really love how you did her drinking the liquid and the mute girl speaking. You did a great job of setting up a very fair reason for her to speak, and it also functioned as showing just how bad of a thing Miki did there. Anyone could yell at her, but a mute girl yelling at her shows just how bad it was for her to do that.
  They’re in science class…it’s actually far more likely to be poison than anything harmless.
  And “Oh my gosh! Me drinking this gave you the ability to speak!” is too funny.
  
  I saw you mention wanting to put the line “It tastes like purple!” in something, and was very curious how you’d get there. It was certainly a very fun line!
  “No, it tastes like how purple looks.” Miki shook her head. “I thought you science types were smart.” was also great.
  
  Honestly I’ve always thought grape flavoring was the taste of purple XD
  
  You know, it would be funny to see a continuation of this story where the liquid had some really hilarious side effects on her. Like it wasn’t poison but it really messed her up for a day or two.
  
  This is great!! Thanks for the fun read!!
  
  Reply
2. Barney
  
  March 30, 2022
  
  I would like to lick the science
  
  Reply
3. jesse fisher
  
  April 1, 2022
  
  Oh how I want this as something to see animated and just the look on the science girl’s face. I also see Miki is one of those characters that have the ability to just do as they like. Also I feel the power of her just by drinking one of those thing you should not do. Also purple has a flavor of random.
  
  Reply
Barney

March 28, 2022

Purple Purple Purple
by Barney the Dinosaur

Purple purple purple purple purple. Purple purple purple purple, purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple. Purple purple purple, purple purple purple purple purple purple purple, purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple. Purple purple purple purple.

Purple purple, purple purple purple purple purple purple purple. Purple, purple purple purple purple purple purple purple. Purple purple purple, purple purple purple purple purple, purple purple purple, purple purple purple purple purple purple purple, purple purple. Purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple, purple purple purple purple. Purple purple purple purple purple purple purple, purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple. Purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple.

Purple purple purple purple purple purple purple.

Purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple. Purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple:

“Purple purple, purple purple purple purple purple purple purple; purple purple purple purple purple purple purple. Purple purple purple purple, purple purple purple purple purple — purple, purple, purple purple. Purple purple purple purple purple, purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple.”

Purple purple purple: “Purple purple, purple purple purple purple purple purple purple. Purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple.”

Purple purple purple purple purple, purple purple purple purple purple purple.

Purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple. Purple purple, purple purple purple purple purple purple purple. Purple purple purple purple, purple purple purple purple purple purple purple, purple purple:

“Purple purple purple, purple purple? Purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple purple.”

Purple purple purple purple purple purple!

Purple Purple.

Reply
1. Marx
  
  March 28, 2022
  
  This is hilarious, and I hope beyond hope that it’s actually 351 words. But I am much to lazy to actually copy and paste to find out for sure. So I shall leave it at that lol.
  
  Reply
  1. Glaceon373
    
    March 30, 2022
    
    I did it, and it’s only 303 words, which does mean it is possible this gets read on stream. Which might be absolutely hilarious.
    
    Reply
2. DesOttsel
  
  March 29, 2022
  
  God damn it
  
  Reply
3. MasaCur
  
  April 1, 2022
  
  I, uh….what?
  
  Reply
Marx

March 28, 2022

Blame It On The Alcohol
By Marx

“Yurrrr sho prettyyyyy….”

Laila glared over to Matt, continuing the appearance of struggling to hold up his weight as she helped him home. “And you’re drunk. Matt… I’m so disappointed in you… You’re better than this.”

“…’ma teenager… ‘shupposed tah-du shtoopid tingsh…”

Laila’s eyes narrowed further as she saw that Matt had an aura of erratic swirling energy around him, and his own eyes were flashing between normal and solid black. “Everyone else gets to be stupid. You don’t.”

“Why…? Cuz… ‘m… speshul…?”

“Yes!” Laila growled back in frustration. Matt shouldn’t even have been able to get drunk in the first place. And even if he did, his powers had been mostly healing in nature to this point. He was like this because he WANTED to be. And she couldn’t stop the reckless, inadvertent spell without raising Heaven’s alarm, which would be very bad. “You have no idea the danger you’re in right now.”

“Speshul… heh… Just meens… everbuddy thnksh’m weird… und ‘m… lone all th’ time… I hate being special.”

Laila felt herself being overcome with emotion as her eyes began to well up. She knew this was partially because of Matt’s magic chaotically responding to his own emotions, but she also knew it was because she hated seeing him in pain. “…I’M here for you. You… know that, right?”

Matt let out an awkwardly slurred laugh. “Course y’are… ‘my besshfrenn…”

“Which is why you need to listen to m-”

“…ven if yuu don’ like me… th’way I like yuu..”

Laila’s eyes shot wide, unable to stop the tears slowly falling down her cheeks. “Don’t you dare! I… Matt, I CAN’T. It’s not that I don’t-… We-… Dammit, Matt, this is too complicated a situation to explain to you while you’re like this!”

“…not compulcatered… I… like yuu… yuu dunn feel tha same… But… got… jealous… uff Caitlyn…”

“Caitlyn was a DEMON! She-” Laila came this close to punching Matt in the face. But she decided instead to be the adult here. He wasn’t ready for an explanation yet. And even if he was, it surely wasn’t happening tonight.

Reply
1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero
  
  March 28, 2022
  
  Aww, this is both really fun and sad at the same time. When I saw the title I was expecting a purely fluffy story, I was surprised that it ended up going to a much deeper place, but I like it.
  I don’t think I’ve often seen Matt explicitly expressing that he doesn’t like being “special,”–though it’s clear from other stories he doesn’t. It’s kind of nice that he’s able to express that, even if it is in a drunken stupor…
  
  Remind me who Laila is? Is she Matt’s angel friend?
  
  “Yurrrr sho prettyyyyy….”
  –Awesome first line XD
  
  “…’ma teenager… ‘shupposed tah-du shtoopid tingsh…”
  –You start to introduce the idea of him not wanting to be special well here. It flows really well.
  Before I finished the story I was actually going to comment that I didn’t realized Matt was a teenager (I thought early twenties) and that, despite the humor of the line, it’s sad and true that he really *is* just a kid, who should be doing stupid things, not have the literal weight of the world on his shoulders.
  
  “and his own eyes were flashing between normal and solid black.”
  –Curious about this.
  
  “Everyone else gets to be stupid. You don’t.”
  –…I don’t think that’s really fair, Laila. As far as I know, despite being a Horseman of the Apocalypse, he’s still human(?). It’s too much to ask him to not ever make mistakes…
  
  “Matt shouldn’t even have been able to get drunk in the first place. And even if he did, his powers had been mostly healing in nature to this point. He was like this because he WANTED to be. And she couldn’t stop the reckless, inadvertent spell without raising Heaven’s alarm, which would be very bad.”
  –This whole thing is just absolutely fascinating. Why shouldn’t he be able to get drunk? Are the healing powers supposed to prevent that, or something else? Why would it raise heaven’s alarm?
  It’s curious that his powers are healing in nature. I don’t think I’ve heard that before?
  It’s fascinating and a bit sad that he *wanted* to be. I’d venture to guess that he kinda got to his wit’s end and needed a break from reality for a while. Poor guy. Can’t blame him.
  
  “She knew this was partially because of Matt’s magic chaotically responding to his own emotions, but she also knew it was because she hated seeing him in pain”
  –Not sure what this means. Are you saying she got emotional because her magic is connected to his?
  
  The relationship stuff is really interesting. I think I missed the stories that’d give more context to it–this is the first I’m hearing of Matt having romantic(?) feelings for someone– but, even though I don’t have the context, I still really like it an interested in it.
  Why *can’t* they? Who’s Caitlin and how did he get jealous of her?
  
  I love his slurred speech. I can decide if I’d really enjoy reading it aloud, or if I should be scared about potentially having to do so XD But it certainly adds to the story while reading.
  
  Oh, one thing I’m not sure about though is…I wasn’t really able to find the prompt in the story? Which part was intended to relate to the prompt?
  
  Wonderful job!!
  
  Reply
  1. Marx
    
    March 28, 2022
    
    Let’s see here. First thing’s first. I went over and over Matt’s slurred dialogue, reading it outloud to make it as silly and yet understandable as possible, just in case it might be read aloud, in the spirit of April Fool’s Day lol. This was absolutely a conscious decision. I do agree that it does add to the story though.
    
    As for the story on it’s own, it’s meant to be confusing or at least more complex or overwhelming than a 350 word story should be. And that’s my take on the prompt. I will admit that its an abstract take but when I try to think of how I’d describe purple to someone who can’t/has never seen it, you could try to say something like it’s red and blue, but that doesn’t really work. You’d have to go emotional with it. How purple makes you feel. But that’s subjective. How purple makes you feel isn’t how purple makes me feel and it would become this entire confused cluster of emotions being described that still wouldn’t entirely get the point across.
    
    Like this story.
    
    Purposely emotionally overwhelming. Not to mention, I’ve never actually done a story with Matt in this time period(he IS in his early twenties in most of the stories I write) where he knows nothing. He doesn’t know why he has powers. He doesn’t know that Laila’s an angel. And he doesn’t know Laila’s existence is a sword of Damocles hovering around him.
    
    So let’s take it from the top. Laila was technically sent to kill Matt. He’s ridiculously powerful and at this point nobody knows why, so Heaven takes the Batman V Superman approach. If there’s even a 1% chance he’ll turn evil you have to take it as an absolute certainty. Heaven sends Laila, but Laila argues that he only uses that massive potentially world smashing power to heal animals, people, etc.
    
    That’s why she says he doesn’t get to be stupid. If Heaven happens to see him seeming even remotely corruptible, Laila has to bring the hammer down. Which is also why she can’t date him. Which is also why he can’t date Caitlyn(who’s only been on one story at this point, when Laila kills her, so you’re probably not alone in not knowing who she is lol)
    
    Also Matt’s half angel, and in my world, angels can’t get drunk. They’d just metabolize it out of their systems before it had any effect. Interestingly enough, fallen angels can get as drunk as they want.
    
    And with the aura, Matt doesn’t know how to use his magic at this point short of healing, which is instinctive for him. So drunk Matt is pretty much just chaotically swirling his emotions in magic form around himself and since Laila’s so close, she’s affected by it.
    
    I think that’s everything… But feel free to ask anything else if you’re curious lol.
    
    I was a bit worried that I put too much into the story and there’d be so many questions that it wouldn’t be entertaining to read, so I’m glad that part still got across.
    
    Reply
2. Calliope Rannis
  
  March 30, 2022
  
  Aww, this is a cute story! The teenager line was very helpful, it both made sense as something he would say while also helping me to place this scene as before any of the major plot reveals that gives Matt any actual understanding of the situation he is in. And it is neat to see more of both his and Lalia’s perspective, before the divine shit hits the fan.
  
  It is also really sad though, to see how isolated and lonely Matt already feels as a ‘special’ person, even before he truly knows anything. It certainly makes Lalia sad to see it too, even if it’s also very awkward what with the Banned Romantic Feelings involved.
  I will say that I didn’t quite understand the line “She knew [her own emotional surge] was partially because of Matt’s magic chaotically responding to his own emotions”, perhaps because the way that sentence was phrased meant that I thought it was only Matt being affected by it, but to be fair I’m not sure of a better way to state it correctly either. XD
  
  Great story Marx, well done! ^w^
  
  Reply
3. jesse fisher
  
  April 1, 2022
  
  Well that is one ride there, props on your drunk speech. I also love how Laila understands Matt even if he is breaking words into nothing but groans. Plus the jealousy for another character in addition to the lonesomeness that Matt felt. All in all loved it.
  
  Reply
RVMPLSTLTSKN

March 28, 2022

Dye
By RVMPLSTLTSKN (The Saga of The Deep One’s Wake)

“Father, why does Vienas wear different colors than us?” Baby asked.

She was knee-deep in the surf, her tattered shift waterlogged and stained. Padas didn’t think much of the past, but today, his daughter deeper in the sea than she’d ever been, her questions turned his mind to the before-time. How to explain the castes to a child who had only ever experienced the freedom of animals?

“Her clothes were dyed. You’ll have some like hers one day, when you’re old enough.”

“What is dying?”

“It changes the colors of clothes. It makes them pretty, no?”

She nodded. “Too pretty for work.”

He chuckled, “You can’t run around naked.”

“Klajonas did.”

“He got sunburned, remember?”

“Is that how you dye clothes?”

“Part of it. The sun bleaches clothes, then you boil ingredients like a soup and throw cloth into it.”

“Into soup?!”

“Nasty soup, made of piss and snails.” She laughed while he fished around in the surf for a snail. It was the wrong kind. “You remember the red-mouthed snails?”

She nodded, “They live on the big rocks.”

They live by Juru’s temple, Padas thought.

“In the dye, they make the best purple,” he said.

“What’s purple?”

“The color on Vienas’ shroud.”

“Oh.”

“Raimundos taught us to use the snails. They almost died out until Juru taught us their seasons.”

“Who are they?”

“Raimundos was a great man. He made the Everflame.” The little lie was easier than the truth, just as Vienas had said.

“Our fire?”

“Yes.”

“Where does he live?”

“He lived here, in the city.”

“In our house?”

“No, in another house. One of the big ones.”

“Can I meet him?”

Padas regarded her, shaking his head. His gaze drifted to the sea. “He’s dead.”

In a solemn whisper, Baby asked, “Did the snails get him?”

Padas’ laughter echoed on the waves. “No, no, a much bigger fish did. That’s why we have to be careful with the sea. No more boats for us, the big fish might get us.”

“Yes, Father.”

They worked quietly, gathering clams and fish in tide pools.

“Did he know Klajonas?”

Reply
1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero
  
  March 28, 2022
  
  Oh my gosh, I absolutely love this!! You don’t often write fluff, but, if this story is any indication, you’re very good at it!!
  
  I remember the story where you say Klajonas was called “baby” at first, but I don’t believe you’ve ever done a story with Klajonas actually referred to that way in the story? It’s neat!
  
  Also overall I love Klajonas’ young mind. Her way of thinking is so delightful and they are able to play off each other so well in the story.
  
  I really like the images in that second paragraph. It’s really evocative and tells you the scene easily. I can feel what Klajonas is feeling much more easily when you talk about the sensory detail of her waterlogged clothes than simply “they waded into the water.” It also immediately sets up that Klajonas is currently thinking about things in a more physical sense, and Padas is thinking about more metaphysical things.
  
  “How to explain the castes to a child who had only ever experienced the freedom of animals?”
  –This is so fascinating. She lives in an entirely different world than her parents did, but there are still echoes of the world before, and he has to decide if he should explain them. There’s more freedom now, but there is plenty they’ve lost.
  
  “You’ll have some like hers one day, when you’re old enough.”
  –Why can’t they dye her clothes now?
  
  “What is dying?”
  –I like the double meaning here, not sure if it’s intentional though. (With the title, I thought at first the story as a whole might be a play on dye vs die).
  
  “He chuckled, “You can’t run around naked.”
  “Klajonas did.”
  “He got sunburned, remember?”
  “Is that how you dye clothes?”
  –Fantastic XD Also that segue from sunburning to bleaching is A++
  
  “They live by Juru’s temple, Padas thought.”
  –I like how you carry him thinking about the “before-time” throughout the piece.
  
  “Raimundos was a great man. He made the Everflame.” The little lie was easier than the truth, just as Vienas had said.”
  –Curious about what he’s lying about. The fact that he was a god, not a man?
  
  “In a solemn whisper, Baby asked, “Did the snails get him?”
  –Oh my gosh XD XD This is hilarious.
  Now I’m really wanting this story to be read, not just because I think it’s great, but because I really want to read that line how I’m imagining her saying it XD Imagining her whisper it seriously makes it even more funny.
  
  “No, no, a much bigger fish did”
  –This is really interesting, because it’s both Padas simplifying things, but it’s also kind of the “there’s always a bigger fish” reference. I wonder if that was intentional. But it’s kind of like this idea that the people of Sostine thought that the gods were the “biggest fish” so to speak…but there was something bigger.
  
  I love it!! Fantastic job!!
  
  Reply
2. DesOttsel
  
  March 29, 2022
  
  Oo, this is so somber for such a mundane scene about a father teaching her daughter. Her questions are innocent, but they force him to remember, and it feels as though there is so much under the surface, so much left unsaid by his short answers. The little lie hints at his hesitance more and his slight awkwardness at dealing with a child’s world view. I love it. The characters really come through in this piece.
  
  Reply
3. Glaceon373
  
  March 31, 2022
  
  I like the blend of emotions here, Rvmpl. It’s not easy to mix somber with childish playfulness, but I think you’ve nailed it. The duality of “They live on the big rocks” followed by “They live by Juru’s temple” is a great example of this. Us as readers see the big picture that Baby isn’t old enough to catch. A very interesting piece as always, Rvmpl! Great job!
  
  Reply
4. Rattus
  
  April 1, 2022
  
  It’s so nice to see a beautiful moment between Padas’ and his daughter. I don’t think I’ve seen them interact before, but I already love their relationship and want to see more of them. The dialogue in this piece was really playful and positive, and it flowed so naturally. Though there wasn’t a large amount of scene setting, the lines you did have pulled a lot of weight. Great job!
  
  Reply