Writing Group: Black Stone Heart (PRIVATE)

Hello, Goths and Geologists!

Emotions can be one heck of a roller coaster, can’t they? Things can get just so turbulent, so hard to deal with… that sometimes the emotions themselves just seem to shut off. I think now is the time to address the cold dark that has consumed you, because…

This week’s Writing Group prompt is:

Black Stone Heart

RULES AND GUIDELINES BELOW!
Make sure you scroll down and read them if you haven’t! You may not be eligible if you don’t!

Let’s have a little heart-to-heart, shall we? We’ve all had our dark days. The ones where everything feels pointless, hopeless, and empty. Our emotions become so much, so overwhelmingly heavy, that we lock them away and cover them with whatever chains, wires, and bandages we feel is necessary.

Perhaps you’re attending a funeral for a family member, but you don’t shed a single tear. You offer condolences to others, but it’s all empty words. While everyone else sulks solemnly or bawls their eyes out, you’re just there, silent and still, just waiting to go home. Maybe you’ve been dumped by your partner, and you can’t seem to bring yourself to cry over what should be a devastating heartbreak. Your friends offer all the TLC they can, but you feel like you don’t need it. You just stare blankly as your whole world falls apart. 

And it’s completely okay to be like this. Sometimes the pain isn’t nearly as big and strong as you thought it would be, or you’ve been through it so much that you’re used to it, or sometimes you just need to really process what’s going on around you. No matter what protections and barriers you’ve placed on your heart of stone, they have a breaking point. Whether that’s being filled to the breaking point, or handing someone the hammer and chisel, eventually that protective shell will be chipped away. 

When it finally does break, that big, beautiful ruby geode inside is going to glimmer and shine brighter than before, and you’ll finally be filled with the light you’ve been desperately missing. 

So what are you waiting for? It all starts with one little crack.

—Shawna

Remember, this is part of our weekly Writing Group stream! Submit a little piece following the rules and guidelines below, and there’s a chance your entry will be read live on stream! In addition, we’ll discuss it for a minute and give you some feedback.

Tune into the stream this Saturday at 3:00pm CST to see if you made the cut!

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We read at least four stories during each stream, two of which come from the public post, and two of which come from the much smaller private post. Submissions are randomly selected by a bot, but likes on your post will improve your chances of selection, so be sure to share your submission on social media!

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Comments

41 responses to “Writing Group: Black Stone Heart (PRIVATE)”

  1. Lunabear Avatar
    Lunabear

    Subjugation (A Song for: Luther)
    by Lunabear (CW: Violence)

    Marianna lay curled on the ground. From this distance, she didn’t appear to be breathing.

    Not his beloved. She couldn’t be–

    Luther turned murderous eyes towards the man he’d once called his friend. “What the hell did you do, Abraham?”

    “A necessary investment. You wouldn’t have come without proper incentive.”

    Abraham’s calm tone turned Luther’s stomach. His heart punched his ribs, and his blood chilled.

    “You bastard.”

    “I know my Father, and He has shown me a greater path than the one you walk.” He extended a hand. “Join me, Luther.”

    Marianna whimpered, and Luther breathed easier. “You’re sick.”

    “Quite the contrary; I am healed. No pain, no sickness. Life everlasting on this plane, in this vessel.” Abraham placed his palm flat against his chest.

    Luther rushed for Marianna, but Abraham blocked him.

    He was far too fast.

    “If you stand by my side, Luther, she can be saved, as well.” His face twisted. “If you don’t, she dies.”

    Luther swallowed. He watched Marianna stir and saw two punctures carved into the hollow of her collarbone.

    “Monster!”

    Luther’s fist shattered on contact with Abraham’s cheek. Abraham didn’t flinch. Unshed tears filled Luther’s eyes as he fell to his knees.

    “You understand, now. In case you don’t, bear witness.” Abraham lifted his top lip with one finger, revealing dangerously sharp fangs.

    “How can you still preach after all you’ve done?”

    Abraham was there, yanking back Luther’s head.

    “It is BECAUSE of what I am. I have found my retribution in death, and I have been given a new purpose with my second life.”

    Abraham’s cold hand trailed down Luther’s wet cheek. “I know your true feelings for me, Luther.”

    Frigid lips touched Luther’s. “I feel the same.”

    Luther’s breath stalled. What a fool he’d been.

    “Choose. Have us both or suffer beyond death.”

    “Marianna.” Luther’s voice cracked.

    “You are wise despite your weak faith. Call me Adam.”

    A breath shuddered from his lungs. “Adam.”

    A malicious chuckle. “You will be reborn, and you will thrive. This I promise you, my enlightened brother.”

    Before Luther’s next breath, fangs pierced his throat.

    1. Revisis Avatar
      Revisis

      *sharp intake of breath*

      This either feels like the climax of a first book, the destruction of status quo for the following books, or the prologe that sets up the problems for the coming series.

      Amazing work Luna. From the short interactions and describtions I can get a feeling for the relationship of these characters past and present.
      I can feel the pain and anger of Luther at the betrayel of a friend and yet he tries to argue in hope of his friend still being there.

      I hope Marianna actually got saved, and that Abraham didn’t just trick Luther into giving up.

      Great Job with the prompt Luna!

  2. jesse fisher Avatar
    jesse fisher

    A Hollow Heart
    By Jesse Fisher

    Legend spoke of an object that would turn any of those with evil in their heart immortal. Many have sought this power, only one came back from this search. It was a man who was seen as the most chairible and kindest in the financial sphere. Many had a negative reaction to this, how could a kind man have evil in his heart? Such a thing should not be possible, preachers began to say seeking such power proves this man to be a liar and the devil.

    People began to believe these takes of anyone wanting this object to be the devil. The man had learned of this, it would be hard to ignore given the discourse options.

    The first hundred years the man tried to keep the air clear of this but after fifty years he just stopped. During that time he used his money to eliminate all the debt of students, and lobbied the university to make the education system to be government sponsored.

    Many took this as a way to force his values into the education system, however those that once had no option before. Through this more people got jobs worth their time and technology advanced.

    It took four hundred years for the man to just become a myth, which fit the man’s personality. Even in the dark times that followed he would reappear to build it back better. His money was nearly infinite and no one asked why.

    It was not until he wanted to leave the world that he fully told how he came back when he did all those selfless things.

    “It was said you must have evil in your heart to use this.” The man pulled out a nearly vantablack rock in the comically shape of a heart. “It was never said you must be evil. The evil in my heart was I killed my family before I went for this. By the time of my birth my family would have just taken over the world without immortality. That was my evil.”

    1. Revisis Avatar
      Revisis

      This feels like a very modern myth. Interesting take on the prompt, making the heart of stone a mental state/determination instead of a physical condition.

      The story feels like it would appear as Worldbuilding in some Urban Science Fantasy novel, with the Man appearing only as a vague figure due to him being too powerfull to interact with the characters.

      A very interesting take on the prompt Toa!

  3. WolfsbaneX Avatar
    WolfsbaneX

    “Further Down the Rabbit Hole” (Drakenheim: Athnona’s Mission) (CW: human trafficking imagery, neglect, mention of bodily fluids)
    By Hemming Sebastian Bane

    Athnona watched her mark from the corner of the freight elevator. He was calm despite the squeaks and squeals of the ancient lift, a tail of cigarette smoke lazily coiling around his head. The grates on each side filtered in artificial light that was only interrupted as they passed basement floor after basement floor. If this wasn’t the belly of the beast, Athnona didn’t want to know what was.

    The elevator stopped suddenly, and the mark approached the grate. With a grunt and flourish, the man opened the rattling grate, offering Athnona to exit before him. Athnona smiled cordially and stepped out. The smell of sweat, urine and feces hung like a miasma in the air.

    “Such a gentleman,” she said, suppressing her disgust.

    The man threw his cigarette on the ground and stamped it out. “Madam, you flatter me. Anyway, if you’ll follow me.”

    The man walked briskly through the corridor. Athnona matched his stride. It’d be best not to arouse suspicion right now. As they walked, chain link doors came up on their left and right. Athnona had to bite the inside of her mouth not to cry. In the first cell was what appeared to be an emaciated six-year-old.

    “Don’t let them fool you, my lovely,” the mark said. “These creatures are very tricky. That one’s looked like that ever since we’ve had it.”

    Athnona hid her concern the best she could. Her eyes could penetrate the Mien and see the disheveled ragged scales and the swollen water-filled gut of the dragon beneath. He could have been more than sixty years old. A child in dragon terms.

    “This is our branch holding facility,” he continued. “Think of it like an adoption center associated with a larger animal shelter. Fresh water, three meals. So. What are you looking for? A servant? Arm candy? A bound familiar?”

    Athnona’s stomach turned. How dare they. Dragons were meant to be gods. Dragons were meant to be kings. Dragons were not meant to be chattel. Athnona buried her indignance with purpose. She was here to set them free no matter the consequences.

    1. jesse fisher Avatar
      jesse fisher

      Truly black hearted people, granted some type of this to defend people from angry dragons is not a bad thing. This however is nearly as bad as fighting rings. How rough would it be to keep them with out seeing their bones.

      Still great piece and love to know how this ends.

    2. RVMPLSTLTSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLTSKN

      Tag back!

      I like the promise at the end if this scene. There’s implications that she’ll attempt to free the broodmother rather than the infants, which could be dangerous, yes.

      I’m not sure what the Mien is. An illusion? The idea of a magical animal breeder is a fun one, but this feels more akin to a slaver (hence the content warning, I guess).

      Good work!

  4. Calliope Rannis Avatar
    Calliope Rannis

    A Dance of Red And Black (Nyx’s Story)
    By Calliope Rannis

    Nyx first saw her on the outskirts of the grand ball. A red haired halfling with a sweet freckled face, big brown eyes and a pretty red dress. She was clearly overwhelmed.

    “Hey.” The halfling almost jumped, quickly turning to look at her. “First time? I understand the worries.”

    She swallowed. “Oh, thank you. I’m just fine though, really…”

    Nyx lowered her voice. “No, genuinely, I understand,” she said as she privately gave her a glimpse of her fangs. “I was new once, just like you.”

    She seemed to relax. She smiled, and Nyx could see the girl’s own fangs. “How did you know?”

    Nyx smiled back. “Pretty easy really. But that’s not important,” she continued, stepping intimately close. “Names are important though. What’s yours?”

    The poor girl blushed. “Um, Annie…”

    “Well then Annie,” Nyx grinned, offering her hand. “Will you have this dance with me?”

    The dance had been good. Annie had to go off for ‘a couple of errands’ after that, but Nyx kept tabs on her.

    She managed to catch her in the corridors beyond the ball, grabbing onto her hand and assertively pulling her away. Nyx had offered her the chance for a ‘proper goodbye’ before the ball ended, and Annie had happily followed.

    It didn’t take long to find the place. A small, secluded storeroom. Nyx held the door open for Annie, beckoning her through.

    As the door closed behind her, the halfling looked around. “So, erm, what do we do n-”

    Her speech cut off into a pained gasp, as a black blade erupted from her chest.

    She coughed, blood flying from her mouth. “W-w-wha?”

    Nyx sighed. “You know, I was really hoping I could have made a friend today.” Her free hand reached downwards, and plucked out a small wooden case from between the halfling’s breasts. “But you just had to take something that wasn’t yours.”

    Then Nyx pulled her blade back out, and let the body fall.

    She’d have to get a servant to dispose of this. Again.

    She couldn’t wait for this damn ball to be over.

    She missed Louise…

    1. I like the title for this one. It works in multiple ways lol. I really like how… kind Nyx is in this one. Not quite Louise level but definitely at least somewhat of a less predatory side when she’s talking to someone else. You could feel Nyx’s empathy here and it was such an adorable interaction.

      Which of course only made the ending that much worse. The question is if the box was Nyx’s or if it was stolen from someone else and Nyx still had to take care of business for the sake of loyalty. I’d assume it was Nyx’s though, which would make her take it pretty personally when she was so nice.

      And then there was that last line. I’m assuming this is the ball before the Louise thing happens, which makes it even worse because you just want to warn poor Nyx. I was curious where the blood on Nyx’s dress came from in that story though so that does answer that question lol.

    2. John Perceval Cain (oneeye John Avatar
      John Perceval Cain (oneeye John

      Nicely done. I found this enjoyable. Good mix of action, exposition and dialog. Paced well, keeps me moving along. Getting filled in with the rest of Nyx’s activities at the ball rounds out the return to Louise. While I see both the kill and the theft as cold-hearted, I’m having a hard time really getting the black stone heart-but that could be my limited view of Nyx’s Story world. Nyx clearly has the dhampir energy going on and it’s well done.

    3. Lunabear Avatar
      Lunabear

      So, our girl is LITERALLY stealing hearts. I see your game, Milady. This is really fantastic.

      I love the duality of the title and how it matches the black blade and the blood, but it can also be the manner of dress at the ball, then again it can also be the color of Nyx’s and Annie’s hair colors.

      A black-hearted killer with a sweet smile. What a combination! It is quite scary how one can acclimate to the act of murder. I honestly hope Louise can get back soon, too. Maybe it will keep Nyx from getting bored.

      I must confess that I don’t understand the purpose of her killing people. Is it to simply alleviate her boredom, or does Louise need potion ingredients? Either way, it’s very interesting take on the prompt.

      I am super excited to see what you post next. Thank you so very much for writing and sharing this one.

  5. Adrian Solorio Avatar
    Adrian Solorio

    Street Hard
    By Adrian Solorio

    Something about tonight was different, realized Caro. There was something in the air. Something nasty–and it wasn’t just the smell of urine or trash in the gutters. But then again, since she’d met Luisa, many things were different. The young woman wasn’t just her work partner, she was something more–almost like a daughter. Caro shook her head, and stubbed her cigarette on the missing person flyer posted to the wall. One of many. This one a schoolgirl’s. Which reminded her that she had to stop being soft. These streets ate the soft. If Caro didn’t look out for Luisa, the streets would eat her, too. “You got your protection?”

    “Right here.” Luisa patted her purse. “You?”

    “Of course, mijita. You don’t have to worry about me. I always carry my protection.”

    “Why’d you ask?”

    “I don’t know,” said Caro. “There’s something–I feel something–like a premonition. My abuela would have called it that. A premonition. Like–” The sound of an approaching car silenced her. The street was dark, and she squinted to make out whether it was a customer, or a cop. A white pick-up truck materialized from the dimness and stalked slowly down the street toward them.

    Luisa slid off the shadowed motel wall, leaving Caro, and stepped into the soft flickering glow of the streetlight. The truck drew up and stopped, its windows down, its engine idling.

    “Two for the price of one,” Luisa cooed, teasingly, to the driver. He was a young man, college-aged–maybe. His hair was fresh-cut and combed perfectly. He would have been handsome if not for the emptiness of his eyes. All the light and life were gone from his eyes, and only hate remained there.

    “Get in.” He sneered, and motioned Luisa to enter the truck, but she stood frozen. “Get in you wh–”

    “If you don’t drive away, “Caro shouted, “it’ll be a bullet in your head.” There was a click as she cocked the hammer of the revolver–her protection. It wasn’t until the truck had disappeared that she lowered the gun, and allowed Luisa to take it from her shaking hands.

    1. MasaCur Avatar
      MasaCur

      Oooh, intriguing. A night of a couple sex workers trying to survive a night of work. Caro, clearly the more experienced and jaded looking out for her new partner. This one felt gritty and almost film noir-ish, but with a much more modern setting. I really enjoyed reading this one, Adrian.

    2. Rattus Avatar
      Rattus

      This piece was really well done. The atmosphere was beautifully described, and the emotions in the piece came across really well. There was so little dialogue, but you honestly didn’t need any more. The environment and the actions of the characters carried so much weight in this piece. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing it!

  6. MasaCur Avatar
    MasaCur

    Some Serious Work
    By MasaCur (CW: Implied violence against a child)

    Thirteen watched the black SUV pull up in front of them and the rear gullwing door lift up. They lazily ashed out their cigarette on the sole of their shoe before entering.

    Rikke Farlund leaned back in her seat as Thirteen sat down beside her. She made a gesture, and the driver remotely closed the door, and eased into traffic.

    “Up for a job?” Rikke asked.

    Thirteen managed to click the seatbelt over them, and shrugged. “I’m always up for some work.”

    “Excellent,” she purred. She took a sip from her coffee cup, then grabbed a portfolio from the seatback pocket in front of her. After opening it, she handed Thirteen a few photos. “You know who Eli Flores is?”

    Thirteen shook their head. “Not really.” They looked at the photograph. Male, presumably human, late thirties, receding hairline.

    “Computer engineer. Got behind on some gambling debts. I’ve hired him to crack the California registries database to insert a few new immigrants.”

    The corners of Thirteen’s lips curled up. “The undocumented ones from… what world was that?”

    “Thesran, yes. Anyway, he’s getting cold feet. I need to send a message, get him focused back on the work at hand.”

    “You want him roughed up?”

    Rikke laughed. “No! I can get anyone to intimidate him, even cause him a little pain. If I’m calling on you, I want something more.”

    “His spouse or significant other then?”

    “Divorced, unfortunately. I was thinking more along the lines of his son.”

    Thirteen flipped to the second photograph. Boy, early teens, wearing a soccer uniform. He had the same eyes as his father. “How serious do you want it?”

    “As serious as it gets.” Rikke levelled a piercing stare at Thirteen. “He’ll be forced to listen after that. He still has a daughter.”

    Thirteen shook their head. “Rikke, you are a cold hearted bitch.”

    “Is that a no?” Rikke asked, her tone playful, but with an undercurrent of malice.

    Thirteen passed the photographs back to Rikke. “I didn’t say that. A job is a job. As long as you pay me for it.”

    1. Glaceon373 Avatar
      Glaceon373

      Oooh, murder! The dialogue in this piece is wonderful, Masa. Both Thirteen and Rikke have unique yet strong voices, and I can hear them both clearly in my head. It can be tricky to write dialogue like this, but you’re making it look easy. The suspense here is also clear yet subtle, which makes the emotions of this piece very powerful. Overall, Masa, a very fun read. Great job!

    2. Lunabear Avatar
      Lunabear

      So, I love this, Mas. But you already knew that. It’s awesome to see more of Rikke! I can absolutely understand why she is the leader of a crime syndicate. She doesn’t mess around, not even when involving children. Perhaps especially when involving children?

      In that respect, LEAVE THAT BABY ALONE!

      Thirteen is an interesting character. They took are a bit cold-hearted, but they do show reservations about hurting the child. However, as they said, a job is a job. Scumbags got to eat, too.

      I love that you’re filling in her backstory. Her arc has absolutely been worth the wait, and I am chomping at the bit to read more. Thank you so very much for writing and sharing this one!

  7. Rattus Avatar
    Rattus

    Returning Home (Illusions of Heroes)
    by Gerrit (Rattus)

    Niri clutched at the pendant around her neck, her only keepsake from home. It felt like a lifetime ago now, since she boarded the boat and left the islands behind. She remembered the wind ruffling her hair, the spray cool against her skin. Remembered thinking that it was what freedom must feel like.

    She had looked out at the horizon with bated breath, as Emrys told her stories of the mainland. She wondered how many of them were true. How many stories of her own she would soon have.

    Now she found herself on a ship once more, hands holding the railing, wishing she had Emrys’s stories to distract her. She had her own stories now, sure. But they weren’t the kind to cheer one up on a long journey.

    The stone affixed to the necklace was smooth to the touch. A small piece of obsidian, passed down through the generations. It had been centuries since Miloa erupted, during the last Scourge. So long ago that it had passed from memory into legend. This piece had been salvaged during the first few days of peace thereafter.

    ‘Always remember that darkness has an end.’ Her father’s words, when he first pressed the necklace into her palm.

    She felt the wind rustling her clothing against her skin. It was strange, how this feeling once meant excited freedom, and now only reminded her of home. Memories of her family and friends flashed through her mind, and she wondered how much they had all changed in the years since she had seen them.

    The sky began to darken, brilliant blues fading into dull greys. The winds seemed to turn, as though the breeze itself refused to approach the islands.

    She gripped the pendant tighter, hoping it would keep her safe.

    The peak of Miloa pierced the skyline, spewing smoke and ash into the air above. Streaks of red cascaded down its sides, igniting trees and scorching the ground. She had been so excited to return home to her family, and now she only prayed they’d still be there to greet her.

    1. Glaceon373 Avatar
      Glaceon373

      I really like the descriptions here, Gerrit. The sense of wonder of being on a boat contrasts the emotions Niri is feeling, but you’ve made it work wonderfully. I also like the incorporation of the prompt–it’s both a physical black stone object and a metaphorical heart for Niri to find comfort in. I hope her family isn’t being burned to death by lava. Overall, Gerrit, a fun read. Great job!

    2. Adrian Solorio Avatar
      Adrian Solorio

      Hi Gerrit,

      This is a melancholy piece. Niri is returning home after a long time gone. It seems she’s returning at a bad time, as the volcano, Miloa, is erupting once again. I think it’s interesting that you included the black stone heart as a stone from an older eruption of the volcano. Her father gave it to her as a keepsake, it means a lot to her, but at the same time its cut from the very thing that has now put her family in danger. It’s a conflicting contrast…, which is always a good thing to have in a story. I really liked this line, ‘Always remember that darkness has an end.’ That’s a bit of universal truth there! Well done, thanks for sharing.

    3. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Me: Wow, this story is so, wholesome, calming and poetic. It’s very different from what he usually writes. Very soothing.
      Me: *gets to the end* NOPE I TAKE IT BACK
      XD

      I think this is a great piece. Despite being heavy on the expository/description side, it’s very engaging. Each paragraph isn’t simply describing the scenery, but rather how the pieces of her surroundings relate to her and her journey. Throughout the piece you feel like something is about to happen. You know the ship is going to arrive somewhere in the end.

      “She remembered the wind ruffling her hair, the spray cool against her skin. Remembered thinking that it was what freedom must feel like.”
      –Love the sensory detail. I can really feel this.

      ” She wondered how many of them were true. How many stories of her own she would soon have.
      Now she found herself on a ship once more, hands holding the railing, wishing she had Emrys’s stories to distract her. She had her own stories now, sure. But they weren’t the kind to cheer one up on a long journey.”
      –This is such a neat beautiful idea. Just that first sentence is beautiful, and an amazing summary of someone going out to find their own way, but you take it another level. They felt like grand stories of heroes and she hopes to be one of them…but the truth is her stories are real, and of hard times, and now the only legends can only distract.

      “It had been centuries since Miloa erupted, during the last Scourge.”
      –This is some cleverly hidden foreshadowing. (Though I almost think it would have been cooler if you’d said *first* erupted.)

      “‘Always remember that darkness has an end.’ Her father’s words, when he first pressed the necklace into her palm.”
      –Very simple, and perhaps–for your universe at least–too hopeful, but at the same time I really love this idea. It’s so pure and lovely. I hope it’s true for her.

      “It was strange, how this feeling once meant excited freedom, and now only reminded her of home”
      –A very neat idea that the feeling that once pulled her away from home now takes her back, and a neat theme in the piece.

      And then the last paragraph is a great turn. It feels like almost a…soft turn? Like it’s not jarring, and once you get to it you realize it was there the whole time, yet it’s surprising, and had to read it twice because I was like “wait this isn’t metaphorical fire?” XD
      The last line is great. I especially love that the line “Memories of her family and friends flashed through her mind, and she wondered how much they had all changed in the years since she had seen them.” is a few paragraphs up, so the mirroring with the last line is there, but not side by side. When you read the above one it feels like a natural happy little thought, and then it turns to darkness and is all that much more ominous.

      Is the “black stone heart” the pendant?

      Lovely job!!

  8. Glaceon373 Avatar
    Glaceon373

    A Request of a Dragon
    by Carrie (Glaceon373)

    The dragon sniffed. The familiar scent of human filled their horde.

    Yes, yes! An intruder! It had been years since an armored idiot had dared try to steal treasure! The dragon took a deep breath, ready to deliver the traditional speech.

    Just as the knight entered the cave, the dragon boomed, “What business do you have here, mortal, that brings you to my great lair—”

    “I just want one rock.”

    The dragon froze. “Uh, pardon?”

    “Just one rock, please, Great Dragon?” The knight held up a piece of parchment. “It looks like this?”

    The dragon’s great maw lowered to the level of the knight, close enough to swallow the ill-fitting suit of armor whole. But the dragon hadn’t decided on eating the intruder just yet. They didn’t smell greedy or selfish.

    On the parchment was a drawing of a rock, but it seemed carved in a shape the dragon did not recognize. It seemed to have tubes sticking out of it, and there were arrows pointing at different parts of the drawing, labeled in human writing.

    “It’s just one rock, I know, but can I see it?” the knight asked. “It should’ve entered your horde about a year ago. It’s from the Lighton battlefield?”

    “Lighton? Oh, yes! I remember that scavenge, it was so dull—”

    “Can I at least borrow it? Please? It won’t leave your cave.”

    The dragon had never received a request like this. Obligation felt necessary, just out of curiosity. “Your request is granted, mortal. Lighton treasures are in that corner.”

    “Thank you!” The knight ran across the cave.

    The dragon watched carefully.

    After finding the rock, which hadn’t received any decorum, the knight ripped off her helmet, revealing a… child’s face?

    “Hey Dad,” she whispered to the rock. “At least, I hope this is you. Your heart, I mean…” She ran her hand along it. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you from the sorcerer’s attack. I really wish I could’ve…”

    There was a thunderous cough from the other side of the cave.

    “Uh, Great Dragon, are you okay?” the child asked.

    The dragon was weeping.

    1. MasaCur Avatar
      MasaCur

      Nooooo! Don’t make me cry, Carrie. This was such a sweet, cute little story, but also really hit the feels. I was not expecting that. The reveal that the knight is a child was unexpected, and that the stone is the heart of her father hit hard. You really set everything up all of it well. I really liked this.

    2. Adrian Solorio Avatar
      Adrian Solorio

      Ahhhhh, very nice, Carrie!

      I was thinking the knight was up to some trickery and was after the dragon’s black stone heart, but you totally went another direction. The dragon was really friendly, so it weeping at the end makes sense. The black stone heart also makes sense, of course a sorcerer would do something like that. This was a light-hearted read that made me smile. Thank you for sharing!

    3. Rattus Avatar
      Rattus

      This piece was beautiful! There were so many turns that I wasn’t expecting, but each one of them felt so satisfying. I love that it starts out as a knight on a quest for treasure, and then they just ask the dragon nicely for it. And the dragon seems like such a chill dude! But then at the end when it’s a child finding their dad’s heart? That was so sad and yet so heartwarming at the same time. Excellent job!

  9. Adrian Solorio Avatar
    Adrian Solorio

    Street Hard
    By Adrian Solorio

    Something about tonight was different, thought Caro. There was something in the air–something nasty–and it wasn’t just the smell of urine or trash in the gutters. But then again, since she’d met Luisa, many things were different. The young woman wasn’t just her work partner, she was something more–almost like a daughter. Caro shook her head, and stubbed her cigarette out on the missing person flyer pasted to the wall. One of many. This one a schoolgirl. This reminded her that she had to stop being soft. The streets ate the soft. If Caro didn’t look out for Luisa, the streets would eat her. “You have your protection?”

    “Right here.” Luisa patted her purse. “You?”

    “Of course, mijita. You don’t have to worry about me, I always carry my protection.”

    “Why’d you ask?”

    “I don’t know,” said Caro. “There’s something–I feel something, like a premonition, my grandma would have called it that. A premonition. Like–” The sound of an approaching car silenced her. The street was dark, and she squinted to make out whether it was a customer or a cop. A white pick-up truck materialized from the dimness and stalked slowly down the street toward them.

    Luisa slid off the shadowed motel wall, leaving Caro, and stepped into the soft flickering glow of the streetlight. The truck drew up and stopped, its windows down, its engine idling.

    “Two for the price of one,” Luisa cooed teasingly, to the driver. He was a young man, probably college-aged. His hair was fresh-cut and parted perfectly. He would have been handsome if not for the emptiness of his eyes. All the light and life were gone from his eyes, and only hate remained.

    “Get in whore.” He sneered and motioned Luisa to enter the truck, but she stood frozen. “Get in you–”

    “If you don’t drive away, it’ll be a bullet in your head,” Caro said. There was a click as she cocked the hammer of the revolver–her protection. It wasn’t until the truck had disappeared that she lowered the gun, and allowed Luisa to take it from her shaking hands.

  10. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
    i-prefer-the-term-antihero

    [Removed]

    1. RVMPLSTLTSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLTSKN

      Ah, the ol’ “spin the bottle and let Fate pick your lover” scene, good times were sometimes had. But rarely as I hear it.

      I’m a bit confused by the line: When it was the queen’s turn again, he decided he wasn’t fine.
      I’m not sure if there’s multiple he’s here, but I assume there is.

      I really enjoyed your use of parallelism in the descriptions. A group of humans. The temporal aspects of the game.

      Morgana seems a strange one. Very Dorian Gray, very Baron Sade. I’m wondering if there are any endearing qualities to her?

      Great job!

    2. Lol I think what I love the most about this story is as it builds, you find yourself asking more and more questions and they’re gradually answered.

      I’m also pretty sure this is my first Morgana story besides her opinions on flowers last week of course. But I was initially curious because you did a great job of contradicting things at the right times. They’re invited to play spin the bottle with the Queen?

      Okay…

      They’re supposedly upstanding citizens but aren’t described as such. To the extent that you’d question Morgana’s eagerness to kiss them. But the moment the guy fell out, I was pretty sure I knew where this was going lol.

      I also liked the wording of a kiss from her is enough to knock one cold. On the first read I read that as knock one OUT cold and I was happily nodding when I realized the ‘out’ wasn’t there. Yup, she definitely knocks them cold alright.

      From there it was just fun waiting for everyone to get with the program, especially with Savion there since it’s clear why he’s there lol.

      Great take on the prompt!

    3. WolfsbaneX Avatar
      WolfsbaneX

      Spin the bottle with Death… Well, there are worse ways to go. I really enjoyed this story. Morgana definitely comes off as a snobby type and the reveal of her cruel intent is great. I would have liked more suspense, but I understand with the word limit that’s hard to do. I do like that her victims are scummy people though. Nicely done!

    4. Rattus Avatar
      Rattus

      Ooo damn, this piece did not go where I was expecting. I was like ‘oh sweet, some people are playing spin the bottle’ and then they turned to stone and I thought ‘oh no, it’s her’ haha. The twist was great though, and I love her coy little line at the end. The emotions in this piece came across really well too. Great job!

  11. John Perceval Cain (oneeye John Avatar
    John Perceval Cain (oneeye John

    Black Stone Heart
    By John Perceval Cain (oneeye John)

    Izorpo strode up into the rocky prominence. Her black dress and cowl billowed in the wind like an ethereal aura, and she surveyed the battleground. It was a morass of humans, elves, demons and other creatures strewn about in various states of death and dying. Everywhere she gazed, it was a large seething and roiling mass looking like the muscled skin of some serpentine beast.

    Izorpo grinned, her pale skin and beautifully chiseled features appearing skeletal in that moment. She had time to prepare her ritual; she hated to be hurried in these things. As she laid out her implements, she thought back to the beginning of it all…

    Good failed her when the Duke’s soldiers stood by and watched as raiders had burned her hamlet and killed her mother and father as they attempted to defend their daughters.

    Good failed her again. When the soldiers finally attacked the raiders, their intent was to take the spoils. She and her younger sister. Her sister died at the soldiers’ hands as they raped them both.

    Good failed her the last time. When abandoned by the soldiers, she wandered to a convent, only to be refused entry. “She must be evil. Look what had befallen her.”

    The witches that finally rescued her, taught her ‘good’ was an illusion. They also taught her that only another type of evil could defeat evil.

    Izorpo studied hard and excelled at learning. She looked down at her makeshift altar. In the middle was her black-stone-heart, the necromantic relic which served as the focus and reservoir for life energy. Many novitiates never completed training and fewer still completed the creation of the relic.

    Izorpo completed training faster than anyone in the coven’s history and set out to hunt and bind the soldier who had raped and killed her sister. We ritually create a black-stone-heart when life, death, memory, and will of the caster unite with the blood and life force of the first kill.

    Izorpo savored the memory. Your first was always the best.

    1. jesse fisher Avatar
      jesse fisher

      Oh this was good, showing the evil Izorpo became due to more evil. For when the world had given up on you why not let that black stone heart guide to se see it filled. I love the rule of three here, also how everyone but the witches were worst then the last.

      Very good story, might want the content warning for those that have triggers.

  12. RVMPLSTLTSKN Avatar
    RVMPLSTLTSKN

    Heartbreak
    By RVMPLSTLTSKN (The Saga of The Deep One’s Wake)

    Klajonas sat, weaving sea rushes into a wide hat, toes in the waves. This was her favorite place in the city and it hadn’t changed much in her absence. A drowned building was in the cove, pillars holding a roof over a sinkhole. She thought now, seeing it with more experienced eyes, that it must be a temple.

    “Klajonas!”

    She turned. Mazylas was waddling her way, a child on her hip.

    “He has legs,” Klajonas said to her huffing sister.

    “If it keeps him home, I’ll keep him realising it,” Mazylas smiled. “What are you doing?”

    Klajonas lifted the hat.

    “It looks like Brolis’s.” Mazylas sat next to her and let the child go play.

    Klajonas grunted. It hurt her, to find out that Brolis had come looking for her and found her sister instead. She didn’t want to think about him now.

    “Whose temple is this?” She asked.

    “A forgotten god.”

    “By everyone but you and Vienas. I know she keeps that knowledge hidden away in the library.”

    “It was the sea god, the one Father worshipped.” Mazylas was clearly uncomfortable.

    The one who left us the pearls, Klajonas thought. Where else but here would there be more?

    “Did we ever touch the bottom?”

    “No, not even Father did.”

    “I don’t remember him trying.”

    “Are you alright?” Mazylas asked.

    “I’m fine.”

    “You seemed angry last night.”

    “Just tired.”

    “Was it Brolis? He can be abrasive sometimes, but he’s a good man.”

    Klajonas laughed harshly.

    “What?”

    “Nothing— No, don’t drink his brew.”

    Mazylas looked confused. “How do you know about that?”

    “Ask your husband.”

    “Klajonas…”

    She laid her work aside and stripped off her coat.

    Mazylas gasped. “Where did you? That scar.”

    She glanced down. The twisted flesh of her navel was a reminder of betrayal. “niekas.”

    The water was cool around her ankles.

    “Klajonas, what are you doing?”

    “Swimming.”

    Horror blanched Mazylas’s face. “You’ll drown if you try to go that deep.”

    Klajonas grinned back at her. “You can ask Brolis, I’m not scared of drowning.” And with that promise of petty vengeance, she dove into the waves.

    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      It’s nice to see Klajonas and Mazylas reunited. I’m very curious about how it happened, but I’m sure that’ll be answered in another story.

      I like that first paragraph. I don’t know if I’m correct in thinking Klajonas disliked, or held resentment for Sostine, but it’s nice to see her remembering the good things about it after all this time, and that some things don’t change. However, those things that don’t change are also often easier to understand with more time and experience.
      I wonder if that’s symbolic? That a lot of things about her have changed since she left, but, especially back home, her family can still see the things that stayed the same?
      “pillars holding a roof over a sinkhole.”–this was a neat personification.
      I usually don’t think of Klajonas as doing domestic things, it’s also a super cute image of her weaving this hat.

      “She turned. Mazylas was waddling her way, a child on her hip.”
      –So cute.

      “Klajonas grunted. It hurt her, to find out that Brolis had come looking for her and found her sister instead. She didn’t want to think about him now.”
      –This is very interesting.

      I like the conversation about the temple. How Mazylas tries to brush it away by calling it forgotten, but Klajonas is like “No, I know *you* remember.” And then I like Klajonas’ realization that they’re the one that gave them the pearls–it makes sense to both us and her she’d feel fondness for his temple.
      I’m curious as to why Mazylas is uncomfortable to talk about it.

      And the end was cool. Having read the uh…later story, it was cool to see that foreshadowed, and that she pretty much planned it. I love that it’s called a “promise of petty vengeance.”
      Though I honestly didn’t realize that later story happens in Sostine. I thought it was back at Brolis’ house.

      Though for my critique…I must say…overall I found the dialogue in this piece very confusing. (More so than the other piece I had this complaint for).

      ““If it keeps him home, I’ll keep him realising it,”
      –What does this mean? Especially because legs are a theme with Klajonas (the original too), I’d think that reminding someone they have legs would push them *away* from home, not keep them home. …And she’s *not* making him realize he has legs…that was Klajonas’ point.

      “Was it Brolis? He can be abrasive sometimes, but he’s a good man.”
      –Earlier you said ” It hurt her, to find out that Brolis had come looking for her and found her sister instead. She didn’t want to think about him now.”…This seems to very clearly imply to me, that Brolis is searching for Klajonas and *not* finding her. And that Klajonas is either purposely avoiding him, or looking for him too and sad they keep missing each other. So I was super confused to find that…they were chatting with him last night.

      “Nothing— No, don’t drink his brew.”
      –I get why she might want to quick warn her while she has the chance, but the flow of this thought didn’t make sense to me. His brew had nothing to do with the conversation…and wasn’t an answer to Mazylas’ question either.

      And then Mazylas is like “How do you know about that?” which just confuses me more because…Klajonas warning her at least made sense but…it sounds like it either it wasn’t a warning, or she didn’t know Klajonas knew? And then, from my understanding, Klajonas and Brolis are married (or something adjacent), and Mazylas has just recently met him…why would Mazylas be confused that his *wife* wouldn’t know what’s in his brew? It’s way more confusing that *Mazylas* knows about it than Klajonas.

      And then Klajonas says ““Ask your husband.”….We know nothing about her husband, so it just adds further confusion as to why that’s a proper answer to her question, what he knows about it.

      …Unless I have it backwards? And *Mazylas* is married to Brolis?
      That would make the “How do you know about that?” “Ask your husband” make sense.
      It would also make more sense as to why he “found” her sister instead–ie he wanted to marry Klajonas, but when he couldn’t find her, married her sister instead. But the word “found” does not clearly imply marriage, so if that’s true, I really feel like that needs to be abundantly clear for the story to make sense.

      I guess the later story is working against my perception too, because when she said “you’re not worth it” I was under the impression that they’d been together for a while and she was deciding that Brolis wasn’t her beloved like the person the original Klajonas found–the wandering still meant more to her, and she wasn’t happy being married, so she took drastic measures to go back to being who she wanted to be.
      But *maybe* what was going on is that she was in love with her sister’s husband, and when she said “you’re not worth it” she was more saying it wasn’t worth the *pain* of pining for him all this time when he couldn’t be hers? Rather than that he wasn’t worth settling down for?

      Sorry for all the critiques. Despite the confusion, it was still a lovely and intriguing read!!

      1. RVMPLSTLTSKN Avatar
        RVMPLSTLTSKN

        Ok, I think I know where the confusion is stemming from.

        This story (https://thetalefoundry.com/2022/01/24/writing-group-this-earth-for-you-private/#comment-19980) is the one you’re referring to, but takes place three years prior to this scene.

        The scene that immediately precedes this week’s is from The Sinner And The Saint (https://thetalefoundry.com/2022/01/31/writing-group-the-sinner-and-the-saint-private/#comment-20083)

        Since I rarely explain things in story, Klajonas and Brolis were a couple, but not married. Brolis makes an addictive alcohol and when Klajonas left him, she sobered up. She returns to her family’s home after wandering to find Brolis had backtracked her to Sostine and married her sister (the boy in this story is their son). Her hurt is not from a desire to be with him so much as the pain that time of her brings her to remember. She’s obsessive about her freedom and individuality, finding a prison in a settled life and jailers in longterm relationships.

        “Keeping him realising it” should be “keeping him *from* realizing it.” Typo on my part :/

        Let me know if there’s anything else I need to explain here. It’s been a while since we’ve seen this pair interact or had Brolis mentioned, and this section of the story is not particularly filled out in general.

    2. WolfsbaneX Avatar
      WolfsbaneX

      This was something else. I’m reminded of The Silt Verses by how you treat your gods here. Given that I’m somewhat familiar with your world, some of the implications of this story have me curious. However, I feel they would not have the same impact on a new reader. Regardless, I want to see where this goes. Nicely done!

  13. Revisis Avatar
    Revisis

    Divine Resuscitation
    by Exce, edited by Luna

    William found himself looking down at an unexpected and quiet child.

    “How can I help you?” He threw the child a bone.

    “T-The magic broke.” Its voice was steady, but with the high-pitch of youth. William furrowed his brow before going down in a squat. “What now? Tell me what you need me for.”
    The child took a deep breath, then gestured wildly as they spoke.
    “The magical spring under our village has gone out! The adults told me to get you.”

    For a moment, William’s expression was frozen as he processed the child’s words before jolting back upright.
    “Alright, show me the way.”

    Whilst he had expected to be led to the town, the child instead took a path down a grassy gorge until the two of them arrived in front of a cave. Next to the black opening lay a great round stone, as well as wooden stakes and ropes, evidently used to keep the cave sealed. A group of adult men turned as William approached, but he did not spare the time to address them. Instead he issued a command as he passed into the cave mouth.

    “Put the rock back in place. You’ll know if I wish to exit the cave.” He descended into the cave, heavy rock replacing packed earth. William had seen a few magical cores, springs, before, but the one in front of him now looked nothing of the sort.

    Instead of incandescent light, he was met by cold and black stone suspended in the center of a great cavern. It looked almost vulcanic. Taking a deep breath, William placed one hand on the cold smooth stone.
    Improvising, he sent questing tendrils of magic inside, feeling out what remained of the original energy.

    To his relief, it seemed the spring wasn’t broken and instead some whim of nature had blocked its natural regeneration.
    A borrowed spark of divine magic alighted in his eyes traveling through his arm into the stone.

    Unexpectedly, the petrified spring rapidly imploded, compacting denser and denser before the cave and William were flooded with a rush of chittering light.

    1. John Perceval Cain (oneeye John Avatar
      John Perceval Cain (oneeye John

      Grabbed my interest and kept my interest. While at first it seems mundanly magical, the details and steps William takes kept me hooked all the way till we get to the twist in the last paragraph. Pace varied along the route of the William and his encounter. Nice mix of dialog, some action and exposition. Good job.

  14. Impossible Things Are Happening Everyday
    By Marx

    Matt sighed, tapping his pen on the pad in front of him. These ‘interviews’ were very draining but if he couldn’t stop this army from growing in his name, the least he could do was get a good idea of who was in it and what they wanted.

    He activated the rune on the ceiling and beckoned the next one in.

    Matt raised an eyebrow when he saw her. She wasn’t human, but she wasn’t quite a demon either. She was most similar to a fallen angel. Something was off. Missing.

    “How may I serve you, Master?”

    “Please don’t call me that.” He said with a wince. “It’s Matt.”

    “As you wish, Matt.”

    He nodded approvingly and pointed towards the rune on the ceiling. “So, tell me your story.”

    She cringed slightly but quickly recovered. “I grew up in a very… tense household. Tense as in abusive. Every day was a new demeaning torture. I grew… desperate. I was offered a release. Revenge. Power. All it cost was… a fraction of my soul. A large fraction as it were.”

    Matt wrote something down with another nod.

    “It came with benefits.” Looking at her fingers, a blue energy danced between them. “I don’t age. I have an affinity for certain magicks. I’m very hard to kill.”

    Matt underlined the word ‘Horcrux?’ that he’d previously written.

    She looked up at the rune. “My kingdom fell as all eventually do, and since then, I’ve done horrible things. Unforgivable things. If my… soul were whole, then I could… feel remorse for those things. And finally meet Death’s embrace.”

    “It’s more of a handshake.” Matt said absentmindedly. “So… here’s my issue. That rune has been glowing slightly since you started talking. No direct lies, but… what are you hiding?”

    She sighed. “You’ve heard of me. I was… born as Ella… I tend to go by… Cindy, now…”

    Matt looked at what he just wrote and gave Cindy a curious look as it clicked. “You’re… Cinderella?”

    “…yes…”

    The rune dimmed and there was a very long pause before Matt finally said, “I have… so many questions.”

    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      ” but if he couldn’t stop this army from growing in his name, the least he could do was get a good idea of who was in it and what they wanted.”
      –If I had a nickel for every time someone formed an army in my name…
      XD
      I did very much enjoy seeing a “Matt’s army” story after you’ve been telling me about it.

      “He activated the rune on the ceiling and beckoned the next one in.”
      –I love this sort of mundane use of magic to be the “next please” light/bell XD

      “She wasn’t human, but she wasn’t quite a demon either. She was most similar to a fallen angel. Something was off. Missing.”
      –Curious

      Her description of her situation is also curious. (Though is clearer after finishing + our earlier conversations XD)
      The way she describes everything feels very much how people talk, which is neat. It’s also interesting that it’s not her whole soul, just a piece of it, and that’s what’s missing. And that she can’t feel remorse. I like that idea.

      “Matt underlined the word ‘Horcrux?’ that he’d previously written.”
      –Ha!
      How is it a horcrux though? Another being has her soul, right? Not an object?

      And finally meet Death’s embrace.”
      “It’s more of a handshake.”
      –XD This kills me.
      Matt: Oh no, she doesn’t do hugs

      “That rune has been glowing slightly since you started talking. No direct lies, but… what are you hiding?”
      –There you go again, doing a great job of telling us all, and only, the information we need to know about the world to properly understand the scene. I love that it’s not just a “next please” bell, but a lie detector too. That’s great. Also it’s cool it can detect lying vs hiding.

      And then the ending is of course great. I honestly was not expecting to see her so soon after our conversation, but it’s awesome that I could.
      I don’t know if I’m giving myself too much credit here, but I do have to wonder if our conversations inspired you to write this?

      Lovely story!!

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