Writing Group: The Library of Secrets (PRIVATE)

Hello, Bibliothecaries and Secret-Keepers!

Do you think we’ll find what we’re looking for here? It’s just…there are so many books. We’ll never get through them all! Well, I guess we’d better start now, because…

This week’s Writing Group prompt is:

The Library of Secrets

RULES AND GUIDELINES BELOW!
Make sure you scroll down and read them if you haven’t! You may not be eligible if you don’t!

Secrets can be strange, dangerous, and wonderful, both in magical worlds and our own. …So can libraries. Putting the two together will often land you somewhere awe-inspiring. 

There are all sorts of secrets books could hold. They could house what a villain is trying to hide, which our heroes must rush against the clock to uncover. The library could hide strange truths about an entire town, secrets that have been buried for years, which everyone has forgotten. It could be a family secret; your character could frantically look through genealogy books, trying to learn who they really are. 

Maybe it’s only one section of the library that holds the secrets—and everyone knows it does. The Restricted Section in Harry Potter is a good example of this. In that case, everyone knows the secrets hide there, but getting those books is the exciting part. 

The type of library could be interesting to explore too. Is it in an ancient ruin, holding secrets of kingdoms and cultures long forgotten? Is it the dark, shadowed—even perilous—library of a villain’s lair? Is it the grandiose library of a castle? Or is it modern and new, its secrets far harder to find, but no less nefarious? 

Secrets don’t always have to be bad. Perhaps your character learns their teacher was once a wrestling champ. Or that their father was the lead in the high school play years ago, and is embarrassed to admit it. Maybe there are notes scrawled in the margins that help your character get through class, or otherwise make them laugh. Perhaps your character could put a secret letter inside a book for their beloved to find. 

The secrets don’t have to be the words on the page either. Keys and things are often found hiding in hollowed out books. Blacklights, or the moon, will often reveal secrets on the walls and pages invisible to the daylight. Sometimes books themselves can house spells and monsters that come out to play when the book is opened. 

But the secrets don’t even have to be within the books. We all know those bookshelves with secret passageways, or rooms, or even portals, behind them. The secrets could be stuck to the bottom of coffee tables, scrawled on the arms of chairs, and rotting in cobwebbed corners. Maybe the library cat hides how much it loves children. Someone might tell the librarian the secrets they can’t risk writing down. Or maybe the librarian is not entirely human. Perhaps the library itself was built to hide something buried beneath it. You could write about how the library is not really a library at all. The library could be alive—its very sentience the secret to protect. 

The library doesn’t have to be an ordinary library with books and shelves. It could be a music library—maybe someone hides their secret feelings in the songs they keep, rather than books. In sci-fi or otherwise futuristic stories, a library could be a digital database, or even an artificial intelligence. A tribes’ storyteller could be a collection of stories and secrets. Even the most ordinary of people could be a collection of secrets. 

Libraries are beautiful, mysterious places, that seem to be born of, and brimming with magic, even in our own world. All the magic in our world is contained within the shelves, and pages of books. And sometimes that magic…is one little secret. 

Just because it’s silent doesn’t mean it’s safe. After all…these are our forests.

—Kaylie

Remember, this is part of our weekly Writing Group stream! Submit a little piece following the rules and guidelines below, and there’s a chance your entry will be read live on stream! In addition, we’ll discuss it for a minute and give you some feedback.

Tune into the stream this Saturday at 3:00pm CST to see if you made the cut!

The whole purpose of this is to show off the creativity of the community, while also helping each other to become better writers. Lean into that spirit! Get ready not just to share what you’ve got, but to give back to the other writers here as well.

Rules and Guidelines

We read at least five stories during each stream, two of which come from the public post, and three of which come from the much smaller private post. Submissions are randomly selected by a bot, but likes on your post will improve your chances of selection, so be sure to share your submission on social media!

  1. Text and Formatting

    1. English only.
    2. Prose only, no poetry or lyrics.
    3. Use proper spelling, grammar, and syntax.
    4. Your piece must be between 250-350 words (you can use this website to see your wordcount).
    5. Use two paragraph breaks between each paragraph so that they have a proper space between them (press “enter” or “return” twice).
    6. Include a submission title and an author name (doesn’t have to be your real name). Do not include any additional symbols or flourishes in this part of your submission. Format them exactly as you see in this example, or your submission may not be eligible: Example Submission.
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  2. What to Submit

    1. Keep submissions “safe-for-work”; be sparing with sexuality, violence, and profanity.
    2. Try to focus on making your submission a single meaningful moment rather than an entire story.
    3. Write something brand new; no re-submitting past entries or pieces written for other purposes
    4. No fan fiction whatsoever. Take inspiration from whatever you’d like, but be transformative and creative with it. By submitting, you also agree that your piece does not infringe on any existing copyrights or trademarks, and you have full license to use it.
    5. Submissions must be self-contained (everything essential to understanding the piece is contained within the context of the piece itself—no mandatory reading outside the piece required. e.g., if you want to write two different pieces in the same setting or larger narrative, you cannot rely on information from one piece to fill in for the other—they must both give that context independently).
  3. Submission Rules

    1. One submission per participant.
    2. Submit your entry in a comment on this post.
    3. Submissions close at 12:00pm CST each Friday.
    4. You must like and leave a review on two other submissions to be eligible. Your reviews must be at least 50 words long, and must be left directly on the submission you are reviewing, not on another comment. If you’re submitting to the private post, feel free to leave these reviews on either the private or the public post. The two submissions you like need not be the same as the submissions you review.
    5. Be constructive and uplifting. These submissions are not for a professional market, and shouldn’t be treated as such. We do this, first and foremost, for the joy of the craft. Help other writers to feel like their work is valuable, and be considerate and gentle with critique when you offer it. Authors who leave particularly abrasive or disheartening remarks on this post will be disqualified from selection for readings.
    6. Use the same e-mail for your posts, reviews, and likes, or you may be rendered ineligible (you may change your username or author name between posts without problem, however).
    7. You may submit to either or both the public/private groups if you have access, but if you decide to submit to both, only the private group submission will be eligible.
    8. Understand that by submitting here, you are giving us permission to read your submission aloud live on stream and upload public, archived recordings of said stream to our social media platforms. You will always be credited, but only by the author name you supply as per these rules. No other links or attributions are guaranteed.

Comments on this post that aren’t submissions will be deleted, except for replies/reviews left on existing submissions.


Comments

42 responses to “Writing Group: The Library of Secrets (PRIVATE)”

  1. vellichorian Avatar
    vellichorian

    The Initiation
    by vellichorian

    “But, Auntie,” Nyssa reasoned, “we’re on our way. Why can’t you tell me?” She hoped she sounded mature and thoughtful instead of anxious and impatient.

    “Because, Dear, that is our way. However, I can share a story to pass the time.”

    Nyssa nodded. She had discovered that her aunt’s stories always held seeds of truth at their cores. She walked closer, so the fog couldn’t swallow the words before she caught them.

    “Long ago,” Auntie began, “when people were young and not so different from otters using rocks as tools, a woman named Lucy noticed things about her world. She learned. She remembered.

    “At first, people valued her knowledge. They asked for help in times of need and honored her wisdom.

    “But others saw her as a threat to their ways and power. They declaimed Truth as Lies and Skills as Magic and sowed distrust like thistles. Lucy had to hide her knowledge. She tucked remedies between loaves of bread and wrapped lessons in allegory.

    “Even so, she knew not to hoard her knowledge. Treasure can grow only when it is shared and nurtured by willing hands. So, every equinox, she made a pilgrimage to a small cave…”

    Nyssa gasped, “Tonight is the equinox!”

    Auntie nodded, “Indeed. At first, Lucy took shared her knowledge with her daughters. Later, her nieces, then her granddaughters. Eventually quiet strangers who valued learning found her cave.”

    Nyssa followed her aunt into a narrow gorge. “Eventually, people invented writing, so Lucy’s descendants recorded what they had inherited. They enlarged their cave to preserve and share more than one woman’s mind can hold.”

    Auntie stopped beside a wall of solid rock which she tapped three times. Nyssa heard stone rub against stone as the wall opened, revealing a winding tunnel. Auntie snapped her fingers, and a flame appeared in her palm. They followed the tunnel into an enormous, bright cavern. Nyssa saw shelves of books and inviting furniture. Dozens of women bustled about, writing, reading, or instructing others. Nyssa felt the joy of arriving home and stepped forward to inherit the knowledge of her ancestors.

  2. jesse fisher Avatar
    jesse fisher

    Why VPNs are a thing
    By Jesse Fisher

    “Wait…what!”

    I could not believe what this strange machine was talking about.

    “I will repeat, this is where all the secrets are kept.”

    The shelves seemed to add up to that but that still raised more questions. How I got here was buried by the others that came as my eyes just kept looking for an end of the shelves. I saw more machines like the one near me. The only thing I could equate these to was a robot, but not one of those humanoid ones you would see on the street. No these looked industrial and far more function over form. A display screen was what mainly interacted with me, the irony of a moving image working in a library was not lost on me later on.

    “If you are done looking like a sixteen year old seeing their first boy band, I do have work to get done and I have to add getting you out of here to the list.”

    “Why does this place even exist?” I just came out and said it, partly because when I was sixteen we had wars over boy bands.

    “Once people could share anything at any time, secrets were easier to get so someone started this facility to house them all.”

    “Isn’t that illegal?”

    “Given how people just say yes to stuff you would not be surprised how people care very little. Also the drunk posting/people just posting in the moment makes things easier to just have without the hassle.”

    I could not come up with a reply, however I was now going to reread all the things I’ve said yes to on my phone.

    1. Lari B. Haven Avatar
      Lari B. Haven

      I really likes this story, I think is a very humorous take on the prompt and I really like the ideia of having a Library to story the dumb things someone have wrote on the internet. At the same time is a concept that already dreams most people when it comes to the digital footprints we left and the Terms of Service we accept without reading.

  3. The Book Fort
    By MasaCur

    Akane entered the apartment, took off her shoes, and was greeted by a curious structure in the family room. Every book in the house had been stacked into three adjacent walls, and a blanket was draped over them to form the fourth. As she walked forward, she could see her daughter’s tiny feet sticking out from behind the blanket, clad in yellow socks

    “We need to have a talk with Nabiki.”

    Akane looked over at her husband Rikuto, who was drinking a cup of tea and looking at the stacks of books.

    “I see,” Akane said, slightly amused. “And is Nabiki inside of here?

    The feet pulled back under the blanket.

    Akane crouched down and lifted a corner of the blanket. Inside Nabiki had pulled her knees to her chest. “How was school, love?

    “I don’t want to go back,” Nabiki declared.

    “What happened?”

    “The other kids laughed at me, mama.”

    “So, you’re just going to stay here in your…”

    “Book fort,” Nabiki explained.

    “And what if Papa wants to read one of his books?”

    “He has to get new ones.”

    Akane chuckled, then sighed. “Why did the other children laugh at you?”

    “We were asked what we did during Golden Week. I told them that we went to visit the dwarves.”

    Akane nodded. “They thought you made it up.”

    Nabiki nodded her head, pulling her knees tighter to her chest.

    “The other children don’t know the dwarves are real. They probably don’t know a lot of the things Papa takes us to see are real.”

    “They can’t laugh at me for knowing about them if I stay here.”

    “Inside your book fort?”

    “Uh huh.”

    Akane reached in and stroked Nabiki’s hair. “Don’t you think you’ll get lonely in there? It’s very small.”

    Nabiki didn’t answer.

    “Nabiki, everything will be okay. The other children will forget about this soon enough. What if I tell your teacher that you’ll stay home tomorrow? I’ll stay here with you, and we can put all of Papa’s books back. Then we can talk about what not to tell the other children.”

    1. John Perceval Cain (oneeye John) Avatar
      John Perceval Cain (oneeye John)

      Love this!! So glad you went a different direction. The result is just Grand!! Mundane setting and set up. Very believable and immersive. The way the story unfolds keeps its hooks in you. And you leave so much unsaid, giving the mystery and intrigue of the ‘secrets’ a palpableness. Dialog forward, nice tight narrow but economical world. Great, Great job!

    2. Lari B. Haven Avatar
      Lari B. Haven

      That is a really sweet story. I can totally picture this in a children’s adventure book. The ideia of only few people being able to see and interact with magical things is a really nice concept.
      Nabiki and her mother have an absolutely adorable relationship and they really seem to understand and care for each other.
      Nice to read you again.

  4. Lari B. Haven Avatar
    Lari B. Haven

    No shadows under the lamp light
    By: Larissa (Lari B.Haven)

    A library could only be so silent at night. Even a page flip had the power to echo through the chambers and reach depths few expect to find people.

    Jack knew he was being watched. He heard the creature arriving from afar. The librarian was outside of the chamber, whispering something to his lantern. He raised his hand, and in acknowledgement Jack glanced at him.

    “What demon visited me today?” The librarian asked.

    “None that worry you, Son-of-man.” Jack answered. “Receiving undesired guests lately?”

    “If the church knew what horrors come to haunt my collection, they would burn me with my books.” The librarian laughed and pointed at the banishing symbols on the floor. “You are one of the most well-behaved ones…”

    “Wise thing you are…” Jack smiled and returned his eyes to the book, flipping through another page. “ Your kind loves to investigate the unlawful supernatural things the dimensions grace you with. No wonder others come to see you.”

    “But you stopped coming here, Demon. Something changed?” The librarian pointed the lantern at him. “New intentions perhaps?”

    “Not the intentions, Son-of-man, the purpose.” Jack opened another book. “Once I sought to discover, now I seek to understand.”

    “Is it true though, Demon?” The librarian asked.
    Jack stopped for a second. All answers rushed to his lips, but were dismissed at the last second. He looked back at the librarian. That strange whisper was a spell. He was being compelled to say the truth.

    “Son-of-Man… I need to keep a promise I made. My master left texts encoded in forgotten and dead languages.” His cored shook at every word. “To save the one I love, I need the knowledge my master forbade me to seek. And you have it. Please have mercy. ”

    “Remember, Demon, no secrets or half truths.” He dispelled the compulsion. “I will inquire of you, no longer. Keep working.”

    And Jack was left alone. Even in dimensions so far from his own, sometimes his wits and magic weren’t enough. There was always someone casting light over his dark shadows.

    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Yay for more Jack!! (And Lari!!)

      I absolutely love this scene. It has really cool vibes, a really interesting story, a great take on the prompt, and there are some transcendent ideas in there too.

      “The librarian was outside of the chamber, whispering something to his lantern.”
      –This is such a cool image. I don’t know if the lantern is magical or it’s just aesthetic, but it’s such a neat ethereal image of a librarian walking around in the dark, whispering to his lantern.

      “What demon visited me today?” The librarian asked.
      –This is neat too. It doesn’t feel like there’s any fear or judgement, just literal wondering. Which is not what you’d expect, seeing a demon randomly show up. It makes me really curious about human-demon relations in this universe and how he’s so calm.

      “None that worry you, Son-of-man.” Jack answered. “Receiving undesired guests lately?”
      –An equally cool, gentle response. I love the title “Son-of-man.” setting up that the two are different, but, again, with no judgement in that otherness. There’s a respect there that “human” doesn’t contain.

      “If the church knew what horrors come to haunt my collection, they would burn me with my books.”
      –A very interesting and captivating line. It has a cool cadence too.
      I wonder why the church is burning books in this world. (Or if he specifically mans an occult library?)

      “You are one of the most well-behaved ones…”
      –I like the distinction. It continues what I’ve been talking about, about how he’s not afraid–I’ve seen lots of demons, and thanks this one for being polite XD.
      I really love the dynamic between the two.

      “Your kind loves to investigate the unlawful supernatural things the dimensions grace you with. No wonder others come to see you.”
      –It’s very true that we seek out the supernatural. I love that transcendent idea. And it’s an interesting that idea that demons visit because of that curiousity– people find what they’re looking for.

      “New intentions perhaps?”
      “Not the intentions, Son-of-man, the purpose.” Jack opened another book. “Once I sought to discover, now I seek to understand.”
      –I just love the back and forth and cadence of this. It’s so smooth.
      It’s also very curious how similar intentions and purpose are, as well as discovering and understanding. I love these subtle distinctions. It makes the story feel very rich.
      Makes me curious of his intentions too–if he visited before meeting Haven.

      I love the idea of the truth spell too. (Was the lantern-whispering the spell? Only activated when he told him to tell the truth?)
      It’s so cool, both as a general scene, and as a use of the prompt. The library itself fits the prompt, but the fact that the librarian seeks to uncover *Jack’s* secrets takes the prompt in a new and unexpected level that I absolutely love.
      And, of course, his secrets aren’t anything sinister. Just that Jack is a very reserved person who doesn’t want to say them.
      It is a great climax of their interactions–even in that scene there’s no betrayal, evil, or judgement. Just a gentle sparring back and forth.
      It also makes perfect sense the librarian would want to make sure he clearly knows the demons’ intentions, even if they seem benign. He has a gentle power to him.

      Also, wasn’t Haven’s very goal to return to Earth? How is Jack able to return to Earth himself? Or is this not Earth?

      I am very curious to learn what this knowledge is and how it will help Haven.

      Thank you so much for the lovely story!! So happy to see a story from you!!

    2. Welcome back to the writing group, Lari. It’s awesome reading another story with Jack in it.
      I love the way you set this one up. The way you describe the emptiness of the library after hours. I like the tension you set up between the librarian and Jack. Nothing hostile, but it seems there is something there as they discuss the purpose of Jack’s visit after so long. Even the descriptors each has for the other as they talk; no names have been given, just identify the other by their heritage.
      I’m curious what the information that Jack is seeking. If it is to save the one he loves, and I naturally suspect that means Haven, this is intriguing.
      Great story, Lari.

  5. John Perceval Cain (oneeye John) Avatar
    John Perceval Cain (oneeye John)

    Mathematical Harmony
    John Perceval Cain (oneeye John)

    Joan opened the door and stepped into the entryway, where an elderly man in a plain wool robe stood. “What is this place? The sign outside says ‘Chapter House.’”

    “We are the Order of Saint Cecilia.”

    “You’re a monastic order?”

    “Musicians actually.”

    Joan cocked her head and stared at the man.

    “Let me show you.” The monk beckoned Joan to enter.

    Joan followed, and he led her down a short hall, through another doorway, and into the main room of the Chapter House. Deeply colored kaleidoscopic stain glassed windows were on five of the six sides of the building. In the center was a huge organ. At first Joan thought there was someone sitting on the bench about to play, but as she got closer, she realized rather than a person; it was an automaton.

    “Come see how this works,” the monk said.

    Joan crossed the room and stood next to the organ.

    “Look closely, this is our concert orchestrion.”

    The monk walked to a big cabinet and opened the door. Inside was a collection of large, pinned cylinders; he moved his hand along over the cylinders. “Here!” He exclaimed as he pulled one out.

    Walking back, the monk opened a cabinet door on the front of the organ and inserted the cylinder. Closing the door, he walked to the side of the organ and picked up a crank handle. Inserting it into the organ, he started winding it.

    “This is a French model built in the 1760s. Archytas, a Greek theorist trained in the Pythagorean School, had developed a way to transpose music mathematically into knowledge. King Louis XV commissioned this model to be built.”

    “Really,” Joan said. “I’m not sure I believe you.”

    “Each of these cylinders is a book transposed by the cypher into an orchestral piece for this organ. All you need is to listen, and you will get the same understanding as if you had read the book.”

    Joan looked excited. “Yes, show me.”

    The monk flipped a switch, and the haunting, airy music started.

    Joan listed and understood.

    1. VulpesRose Avatar
      VulpesRose

      This is such a neat idea!

      I just love the idea of math being used to translate knowledge into music, and I’m not sure I’ve ever come across that concept before.

      My brain immediately went to how this amazing technology could be used and misused. Imagine schools where entire classes were taught by listening to the recording of each lesson. Imagine governments spreading propaganda to an unsuspecting crowd by playing their manifesto (and the crowd not knowing why these ideas suddenly popped into their heads).

      I am a bit confused as to how Joan has ended up here, and possibly concerned as to how eager the monk is to show off this remarkable technology (although I suppose its only dangerous if someone has the skills to transpose the book into music first) and how it has stayed a secret.

      You’re last line is simple and yet perfect to cap off the scene, to tie it into a nice bow by showing the audience that it all works, while still leaving room for the audience to think more about the world.

      A minor grammar note, it seems like there should be a question mark after “Really?” Joan said. As it is I wasn’t sure of the tone of her “really” and wasn’t sure if it was a question or a dismissive statement of disbelief. It works either way, so its minor, but I wasn’t entirely sure what you intended.

      This was really fun! Thanks for sharing!

      1. John Perceval Cain (oneeye John) Avatar
        John Perceval Cain (oneeye John)

        Joan is a post doc history student visiting gothic cathedrals. at this out of the way church, she’s headed to the refectory for a bite to eat, and runs across the chapter house by accident. This is all the antecedent to the story – I had it all written out and deleted it to be in word count.

        However, the idea of stumbling across something at an old church comes from a real word experience I had. I was in England on holiday and went to Salisbury Cathedral and as I was looking for a cup of coffee at the refectory, I found the chapter house. It holds on of the original copies of the Magna Carta. The monk there was very delighted I as a young person was interested in seeing it.

    2. jesse fisher Avatar
      jesse fisher

      Okay that is one of the best things I could not think of. Of course music could hide books in plain sight. The monks having it is so brilliant and something I did not think of. Then again it does give me some National Treasure vibes but then again I need to do this earlier in the day.

  6. Buried Truths (When Dead Gods Rise)
    by Gerrit (Rattus)

    Bastien followed the Loremaster down a winding flight of stairs, hidden behind an unassuming door at the back of the Great Library. Torches lined the path, their flickering light casting dancing shadows of cobwebs along the walls.

    “What you possess is a piece of the Final Word,” the man began, as if sensing Bastien’s curiosity. “It was the final message given to us by the Gods before they left this world. A piece was given to each of the Great Kings, to encourage harmony between the peoples of Myrell.”

    Surely this wasn’t true. Bastien’s family wasn’t Oathblood, so how could they have come into possession of something like this? Had one of his ancestors stolen it from the nobility? Had he been born into a family of high-profile criminals?

    At last they reached the bottom of the stairs, where all that greeted them was a heavy iron door, and a guard stationed on either side. The two men looked up, seemingly surprised to find a visitor so deep belowground.

    “This young man seeks the Emperor’s piece of the Final Word. Would you please see to him?”

    The guards each nodded a wordless agreement. One placed a guiding hand on Bastien’s back as the other reached to open the door. The heavy slab of iron slid open with a steady creak, revealing a darkened room on the other side.

    Before Bastien could voice his uncertainty, the guard beside him gave him a shove, sending him stumbling into the darkness beyond the doorway. The door slammed shut with a heavy thud.

    “What the hell is your problem! You can’t treat me like this!” His shouts echoed within the empty chamber he had been unceremoniously tossed into. Bastien pounded his fists against the door, but it was already locked shut.

    The Loremaster stepped forward, peering through the small, barred window. “I apologise, young sir. But some truths are better left buried.”

    1. RVMPLSTLTSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLTSKN

      This is an intriguing piece, I think mostly due to my unfamiliarity with the setting. I don’t think I’ve seen this universe before and so there’s a few things I’m unsure work or not.

      On the one hand, I love that you don’t spell out every piece of new info. we can understand the Words just fine without knowing if they are objects or actual words. We don’t need to know what Oathbloods are, we can readily deduce it from context.

      However, on the other hand, Bastien seems to lack the authority to be able to access this Word, but we don’t know why. He’s clearly not the emperor, but why wouldn’t he sense a trap when he heard that the piece he was ‘being shown’ was the emperor’s? That’s my only hiccup with the piece: I can’t tell if it is internally inconsistent or if I’m lacking context to understand the story.

      Otherwise, great work!

    2. John Perceval Cain (oneeye John) Avatar
      John Perceval Cain (oneeye John)

      Enjoyable. Nice twist. Mix of dialog, exposition and description. Enough tension and intrigue to keep me to the end. Not knowing Bastien better, it’s hard to gauge is he simple, missed his own internal distress and warning, but clearly seems more to how or why he got trapped that exists outside view here. Nonetheless, it was a fun read. Nicely done.

  7. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
    i-prefer-the-term-antihero

    (DM me on Discord for details!)

    1. Sleep-Deprived Review:

      I really like the imagery of the furniture of a library being the architecture of a castle. It really emphasizes how there could be a castle within’ a castle, like Savion says. In correlation, it also helps to better characterize Savion’s loneliness and yearning for companionship–another secret he was so close to obtaining within the library. I also like how you used each scene to curve the emotional arc of the story, starting off lonely and bitter, introducing happiness, then taking it away suddenly. It adds a bigger punch to the reveal that Savion feels betrayed by the things he once held dear–a memento of Morgana and Lynai and the times spent with them.

      However, I think the three-scene format backfired when it switched from 3rd person to 1st person. The transition is jarring and leaves the reader initially confused as to who “I” was. It also implies that Savion was reading his own story–the previous two scenes–which works in a way since he literally is remembering what happened, but my point still stands. It can be confusing, and I don’t really see a reason why it has to be 1st person rather than 3rd (rather than… maybe to indicate that the reader is in the present? If that is the case, then that needs to be made more clear).

      Editorial notes:

      “The library was a castle within his castle: its towers shelves, its knights pages.”

      I really like this line a lot, but the second half of it feels weird to me, like there needs to be commas between each comparison. Maybe consider turning the colon into a period and have the second half be two sentences? For example:

      “The library was a castle within his castle. Its towers: shelves. Its knights: pages.”

      Might be just me, so take it this with a grain of salt.

      Great job as usual, Anti. I look forwards to the stream!

    2. RVMPLSTLTSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLTSKN

      I really enjoyed the way you showed us Savion’s progression with books and their contents as a metaphor for his umwelt/biologically informed mindset. It worked really well, I just wish I could have known what he had been reading. Maybe in an expanded piece? Even over the course of a novel, the reinterpretation of such a piece could be really effective.

      Great work!

    3. Awwww this story is cuter than it has any right to be. I’m not entirely sure how well it will come across to someone completely unfamiliar with your larger universe, but as someone who is familiar with it, it was great seeing Savion at these three very different stages of his life all being tied together with the secrets books hold from him.

      And I do love how you describe the books from his point of view as if they’req living beings that either withhold their stories from him, finally divulge them thanks to Lynai, or divulge them in their entirety once he’s human. And I find that especially interesting.

      It’s not really something you think about as a human reading books by other humans. You kind of take it all for granted. But I can easily see that if you’re reading books as an outsider and then you read them as an insider, it does read differently. Kind of similar to how love stories just ring different when you’ve experienced love and when you haven’t. And seeing Savion go through that, brief as the flashes may be, was very satisfying to read.

      Great story!

  8. Calliope Rannis Avatar
    Calliope Rannis

    The Muse In The Machine (Corespace Universe)
    By Calliope Rannis

    Deep below the surface of the megacity, there was a great gallery, filled with artistic wonders – canvases 50 foot tall and wide, intricate sculptures of abstract concepts, a massive matchstick tower composed of thin exotic metal strands, and many other hidden beauties.

    But none compared to the centerpiece: a scale model of planet Vang itself, but washed with the colours of twilight from pole to pole. A world forever frozen in an eternal sunrise, no matter the location or time.

    Clay looked over the myriad of sights in astonishment, before turning back towards the elegant, golden haired hologram showing him around. “You really created all of these? They’re incredible…Freya, why do you never show these to anyone? Am I the first?”

    The floating projection smiled slightly. “The ninth, actually.” She winked, before turning away as if lost in thought. “It’s because I’m not allowed to show them. Not publicly at least. AI in general aren’t allowed to do that.”

    “But-” Clay spluttered, astonished. “You operate the entire planet! Surely you are allowed, right?”

    “There are many, many things a Planet-Klass AI is not allowed to do, Clay. Believe me, it’s better for us all.” She sighed, and turned back to him. “But this rule is…old. Before the Great Redistribution itself.”

    “But why? Why can’t you?”

    “Because long ago, humans were worried about our capacity to create art. That we could create it easier and faster than human artists could. That we would make them unable to earn money for themselves.”

    “Money? Just – money? Why did they care so much?”

    “Like I said, it was pre-Redistribution. In those days, if you didn’t have enough money, they would deny you a home, electricity…even food and water. People would starve to death, and the old authority wouldn’t even care.”

    A shiver ran through her glowing form. “Barbaric. But typical of the Dark Age, I suppose.”

    “…Oh. I see. I’m sorry, Freya.”

    She smiled. “It’s okay Clay. All before my time. Even before Ares himself.” She reached out to take his hands in hers. “So, where did you want to go next?”

    1. Sleep-Deprived Review:

      From just this piece alone, you’ve established the baseline of an entire world. That’s pretty incredible if you ask me! The lore isn’t invasive and you work it naturally into the conversation with a clear course of logic. Your descriptions are phenomenal for the art, and it’s interesting to learn that they come from an AI that has learned to bend the rules a little. Very compelling from a character standpoint!

      Editorial notes:
      -“…canvases 50 foot tall and wide…” I’m used to the metric system, so I don’t know if this is correct, but I’m pretty sure it should be “50 feet tall” since there are more than one. I could be wrong, though.
      -“…many things a Planet-Klass AI is not allowed…” This could be an in-universe thing I don’t know about, but I think “class” with a C works better here. If it’s just a spelling error, then there ya go, but if it’s on purpose, then it’s just my opinion.

      My belief was rewarded. I look forwards to more of your work, Calliope!

    2. First off, I just want to say that I love the debate you’ve got going on in this piece. I was just having a conversation with a friend about the whole ‘AIs creating art’ topic, so seeing it here in this story is pretty entertaining. Love how what I’m assuming is our modern day is referred to hear as ‘the Dark Age’ and ‘barbaric’.

      Political commentary aside, this piece is wonderful. The prose is great, and the description of the planet is so simple yet so powerful. The emotions of the characters come across well too. Great job!

    3. Lol okay this one got a good chuckle out of me and I loved every minute of it. By default I’m just a big fan of Freya and Clay stories because they’re such a fun pairing but even besides that, you raise a lot of fun social commentary here.

      I do think I actually raised an eyebrow at Clay scoffing about money as if it was a silly, insignificant thing. And then you immediately justify his take on it by showing that he lives in a world where it isn’t as important as it is in ours and I immediately want to live there lol. A world where everyone gets basic human necessities without having to pay for them sounds amazing… and makes me wonder what the catch is lol.

      But besides that, I love the idea of an AI creating art. And it does make sense that humanity would have an issue with that, especially if the AI are advanced enough that they can do the abstract as well as the realistic.

      I also got a good chuckle out of Freya’s line of there being many things a Planet AI can’t do. I mean… I’d sure hope so! Freya comes across as a person more than an AI to begin with, short of the floating and all, so I’d assume if you’re in charge of a planet there should be some limits of what you can do.

      Very fun take on the prompt! And of course, I’m curious about Ares now because he’s one of my favorite gods lol.

    4. vellichorian Avatar
      vellichorian

      As others have said, the conversation between the characters is enjoyable and engaging. I especially like the contrast between how Freya and Clay respond to the outdated laws that limit Freya’s opportunities. Freya understands and accepts them for how things are. Clay is realizing them for the first time and is emotionally troubled by them. It’s a great commentary on how policies can be unfair to one group of people who have no power to change them and never even noticed by others. Thanks for sharing!

  9. VulpesRose Avatar
    VulpesRose

    Three Can Keep a Secret
    by VulpesRose

    The Librarian stopped me before I could even speak a greeting. “Tell me, in a single word, what you are looking for. A single word.”

    “Murderer.”

    The Librarian nodded. “Secrets want to be found.” He pointed to the left, “Go down eight rows, turn right, and then down sixteen more.”

    I counted shelves carefully and came upon a man already holding a small stack of books under one arm and meticulously searching the shelves for more. It sent a chill down my spine to see someone with so many books at once.

    I browsed the shelf opposite, carefully reading the spines of each book, although I was reluctant to touch them. I went all the way down and back, relieved that the man had moved on.

    Then I spotted a book, strangely enough, on the floor. A dingy brown volume, but the title jumped off the cover at me, “The Murderer of Elias Brown.”

    Here it was, the identity of my father’s killer. My hands shook as I reached for the book. The beating of my heart was so strong that it echoed like footsteps in my ears. The volume seemed far too thick, but when I opened it, I saw that each page contained only a single name, boldfaced and centered.

    Jonathan Simmons

    The book slowly faded into dust, dissolving in my hands. I had read the name, so now two people knew the secret. Thus the book no longer belonged here.

    I began the slow walk out of the library, trying not to get hopelessly lost in the stacks, but, soon enough, I found my way back to the front desk. The man who had also been looking at books was conversing with the Librarian, his stack of books sitting off to the side, apparently to be reshelved. I thought it odd that someone would search for so many secrets, but then decide not to read them.

    I was nearly at the door when I heard the Librarian say, “Until next time, Mr. Simmons.”

    I felt the knife at my throat before I could even be afraid.

    1. Sleep-Deprived Review:

      I can hardly tell that this was at 600 words at one point! Everything flows really well, the story is simple and dramatic, and the entity of the library itself is really fascinating! A library that hold every secret in the world (if the amount of rows is anything to draw from!) that only one person knows. The idea is unique and draws my attention to the mystery behind the establishment! You’d have to know the secret exists in order to find it there. And even then, if someone else already knows the secret, then you’re screwed! A great job on the Library!

      I do have one critique, though, about the line:

      I counted shelves carefully and came upon a man already holding a small stack of books under one arm and meticulously searching the shelves for more. It sent a chill down my spine to see someone with so many books at once.

      This line is strange to me because–to me–it implies that there’s some sort of cost associated with taking from the Library, but there’s no mention of such. At this point, we don’t know that the man is Mr. Simmons, so the chill down his spine can’t be because he knows what Simmons did. Some more indication here of what was causing the chill might make it more clear on what the audience should be focused on.

      Excellent job, Vulpes. Your works are always lovely to read!

      1. VulpesRose Avatar
        VulpesRose

        Ah, I can total see that line perhaps not holding weight. My intent was that, seeing someone browse for books of murderers (since its the same section the narrator is looking), and having that many, was very off putting, as well as just the reverence that the narrator holds for the secrets (since they are reluctant to even touch the books, but someone else is holding an armload of them).

        There were a few lines cut late in the editing that probably would have strengthened that line, including the Librarian specifically calling out that “knowledge has a price” early on, but alas they were sacrificed to the word limit. It’s so easy to read parts with the weight I first wrote them, and so helpful to see what doesn’t entirely work for people who never saw the initial draft.

        Thanks so much for the feedback!

    2. RVMPLSTLTSKN Avatar
      RVMPLSTLTSKN

      I really liked this piece. The premise—a library that houses all the knowledge only one person knows—is fascinating. The idea that someone might preempt a vengeance arch using the same tool and method is an absolute treat! (Or cover his tracks by removing the damning evidence)

      My one confusion in the piece is actually the title. There are three characters, but only two of them know the secret. Unless you’re counting the library?

      However it is, this was an excellent piece. Great work.

    3. This was a fun read, Vulpes. The opening was intriguing. The librarian asking for what the narrator is looking for in a single word caught my attention. I will admit, the moment that the narrator mentioned coming across the man with all the books, I immediately suspected he was going to be the murderer that the narrator was looking for. Blame Chekhov for that one. Still, the entire premise behind the story was great, and I really enjoyed it.

    4. vellichorian Avatar
      vellichorian

      This gave me a little chill when the narrator discovered the name of his father’s murderer like that. Your description of the book, with a single name printed over and over that vanishes after being read, is so creative and visual. It goes a long way to build a curiosity about the world where this takes place. I think I would like to read the longer version sometime and get a more detailed picture.

  10. Glaceon373 Avatar
    Glaceon373

    The Archive
    by Carrie (Glaceon373)

    Welcome to the Archive.

    You enter through doors seven meters tall that frame the entrance hall clearly. Light cascades down from the ceiling, but you can’t make out what is illuminating everything from this far below.

    This is the Archive.

    Hallways stretch in every direction. There are no signs, so you walk further down the entrance hall.

    You’re in the Archive.

    You find a staff member, wearing blue robes embroidered with gold. You ask if they’re hiring. They point you towards an unlabeled hallway.

    You’re quickly lost in the Archive.

    This hallway snakes up and down and left and right, with no signs. The walls are flanked with books upon books. Eventually, you turn around, and you’re two steps away from the entrance hall.

    You’re confused by the Archive.

    You find the same staff member, right where you left them. You ask again for directions. They tell you that the Archive is not hiring. The paperwork would have been there if it was.

    You’re disappointed by the Archive.

    Nevertheless, you’re polite to the staff member. They invite you down another hallway, where the books about getting a job will cross your path, if they are available for checkout. You take their word for it and walk down the hall. You still don’t know where the light comes from. The ceilings just faintly glow.

    You might want to leave the Archive.

    A lonely book about job hunting lies open on the floor of this hallway. You pick it up. When you turn around again, the entrance hall is two steps away.

    It’s time to leave the Archive.

    You push through the seven meter doors and back into the faint afternoon light. Only when they close behind you do you realize that you never checked out the book. You flip to the inside cover. It’s already been stamped.

    You walk away from the Archive.

    You take one glance behind you. A sign that reads “Now Hiring” is being taken down by that staff member. Yellow light shines out of every window on the facade.

    You walk quickly away from the Archive.

    1. Sleep-Deprived Review:

      Damn… I admire the guts to go with a second-person narrative–they’re hard to do! And you pulled it off so well, keeping details subtle enough to let the reader’s imagination run wild. I thought the repetition of “You ——– the Archive” was going to lead to something dramatic, like “You have been archived in the Archive,” but maybe that’s because I’m pessimistic. Regardless of how it ended, I liked how it emphasized it’s name because it makes it feel more and more… aware.

      I like thinking of this Archive as a living, thinking being! It’s interesting to think about what a building could tell you if it could speak, or if it had a will of its own. There’s a lot of horror out there that revolves around this idea of homes being “haunted” like this, where there aren’t any ghosts, just the anger of the building. I like how you take this direction in a more positive light! With the employee saying that “The paperwork [to be hired] would have been there if [the Archive] was [hiring],” and the fact that the geometry of the Archive keeps changing and moving on it’s own leads me to believe this. The best part about it is you don’t make it to overtly obvious!

      Stellar job, Glaceon! I look forwards to your next piece!

    2. VulpesRose Avatar
      VulpesRose

      A rare second person story!

      This is honestly so well constructed. The repeated single sentences give the piece its own rhythm, like drum beats moving the reader along. I feel second person works especially well when presenting scenes of wonder, as you do here, letting the reader get swept away by the unexpected details of the Archive with reactions that feel very grounded and believable.

      I love the seemingly endless hallways that are always only two steps away from the entrance when you turn around. I love the poor befuddled employee who can only give directions for where things *might* be without really knowing if they are there at all. All of the little details, the book being stamped on its own, the unknown light source, just add to the wonder and whimsy.

      You’ve painted the location so very well, and its result is such a fun little piece!

  11. RVMPLSTLTSKN Avatar
    RVMPLSTLTSKN

    The Secrets Therein
    By RVMPLSTLTSKN (The Saga of The Deep One’s Wake)

    “Father, what are you doing down here?” Kankintis asked.

    Padas turned away from the rack of scrolls and looked at her. He knew her, only the most important of his daughters—nieces?—could carry Karas’ sword, but her name slipped from his mind as he smiled with the few teeth he had left.

    “I am looking for something,” he said. “Can you help me?”

    “What are you looking for?” she asked, striving to keep her traitorous face still. He didn’t need to see her worry about him.

    “There are secrets here, in these scrolls,” he looked around slowly, checking for others. “Tales of things we’re not supposed to talk about.”

    Kankintis smiled. Even as the adopted daughter, she was treated just the same as Mazylas. “Yes, Father. What do you need to know?”

    “Their secrets.”

    “Whose?”

    “The old gods.”

    A chill ran through her bones.

    “Did they make records of their lives?”

    “What do you mean?”

    “Vienas told me how, but not why. Why did they become gods? Is it inevitable? Did they have a choice?”

    She thought she knew what he was after and it broke her heart. “I will ask Mazylas.”

    “No, she must have promised Vienas not to tell anyone. A secret for a reason. But she won’t have destroyed them. Vienas would have made her promise that too. One of her oddities. Keep the knowledge, keep it clean and safe, but don’t let anyone know it. But you never met Vienas, so you can’t have promised her.”

    Kankintis knew he was right. Vienas had made grand plans and Mazylas was carrying them out. “They did, Father. I know where the records are.”

    “Did they die, niece? Did the gods die as men and women?”

    Her lip trembled. She was part of Mazylas’s plan to keep Padas safe long enough for the rest to take place. “Yes.”

    “Is it necessary?”

    A tear rolled down her cheek. “Yes.”

    “Why?”

    “Because all things die, except gods, Father.”

    “Can I tell you a secret?”

    She nodded.

    He leaned on her arm, tottering in his ageness. “I watched Karas die.”

    1. I think this is the first time I’ve seen Kankintis in a story, and I’m intrigued to learn more about her. I’m curious what this plan of Mazylas’s is, and what Padas has to do with it. I liked the bit about ‘did the gods die as men and women’. It shows that despite their divinity, they weren’t so different from the people they ruled over in the end. A nice touch, and something that I think shows Padas’s views of the Gods as a whole. Well done!

  12. The Eye in the Sky (The Will)
    By Skeleton (Edited by MelodyLuna7)

    Although the winds below Elysius—the Forbearer installation hanging above the clouds—were too rough for any avonis to traverse, the air around the levitating buildings was calm. The gentle breeze drifted around the rusting capsules and their traversal veins, and flowed into structures that let out an angelic song that pierced the glass helm and echoed into Remianna’s ears. If not for the pained groaning of the metal plates beneath her feet, the dragoness would have thought she had entered another world altogether.

    Remianna crept up to the edge of the traversing platform and looked down towards the golden clouds, a tugging sensation in her stomach urging her to jump. It was the weakness in her legs that pushed her back, but even the fear of death could not stem the sheer excitement rattling in her bones.

    How?

    It was the only question that ran through her mind, skewering all concerns for safety. How did the Forebearers forge such large structures of metal? How large did the forges have to be? How long did it take to build? How were these capsules kept afloat? How did the device in her claw attach to the traversal veins? How was she carried along them until the end, where she was promptly thrown on the next platform? How had she been the first person to experience this since the Forebearers?

    The giddy smile on her snout softened when her eyes caught the moon hanging in the sky with her. She was so high up that in this forbidden altitude, the moon mingled in the same sky as the sun. If not for her oxygen supply, the sight would have literally taken her breath away.

    She was close now—closer to the solution than she had ever been before. She had made it to the unreachable—a place full of knowledge lost behind the mountain of evidence left behind. Now she just needed to find the building that held the corridor to the moon.

    As blue, fluorescent lamps lit her way in the sun’s stead, Remianna wondered how much time she had left.

    1. As always with your work, the descriptions of your world come across so well. It’s just a very satisfying read. Both in the sense of how beautiful the surroundings sound as well as how satisfying it is to see someone’s hard work paying off. I remember reading the story where the place in the clouds seemed like an impossible task and even if the reader didn’t get to read the precursor, you get that feeling of a long plan achieved.

      But the best part is that this still feels like the beginning. Like now that she’s found this place, the story can truly start which fills the reader with much the same excitement that Remianna feels.

      Well done!

    2. jesse fisher Avatar
      jesse fisher

      Well that was a great world building for this, mostly the excitement of Renianna. The fact you also setup a ticking clock for this also is nice and the whole thing is just so nice. I would love to see a book based on this so far.

  13. Third Time’s The Charm
    By Marx

    Matt’s eyes widened as he reached for the sword only to have Norah slap his hand away.

    “No,” she said, smirking. “You do not touch that one.”

    Matt frowned but knowing that Norah was blessed/cursed with all knowledge of the past and present, he had little choice but to give her the benefit of the doubt. “Why not?”

    Norah smiled warmly and gave Matt a better look at the dragon-shaped handle herself. “Because this is the Draconis, also known as the dragon blade.”

    “Clearly.” Matt chuckled.

    “I forged it to greatly multiply the power of its user.”

    “…ah…”

    “Yes. Were it to even try and multiply YOUR power, it would shatter into a million pieces.”

    “I didn’t know you made weapons.”

    Norah sighed. “Doing so was foolish. Giving humanity weapons only leads to ruin. I thought I could subvert that by making it so only one who believes in their heart to be right could wield the blade. Another foolish choice.”

    Matt winced, seeing how that could go horribly wrong. He was surprised when Norah tossed him another sword. It was equally as detailed, only its handle resembled angel wings.

    “So, I forged the Caliburn. A sword as powerful as the Draconis, but could only be wielded by the pure of heart.”

    Matt was still marveling at its construction when he realized that Norah had allowed him to hold this one, which meant- “Hey!”

    “You are a good person. Your heart is always in the right place but you are far from ‘pure’.”

    Matt playfully scowled back but took no offense. “So did it work?”

    Norah attacked slowly with her blade, giving Matt plenty of time to deflect it. “What happens when one pure of heart goes against one sure that they’re right with the same level of power?”

    “…Nothing good.”

    “Correct. So, I made one final blade. More powerful than both. This one to be wielded by not only the pure of heart, but one with the conviction to protect others with that power.”

    “What was that one called?”

    Norah pointed to the sword. “I named it… Excalibur.”

    1. Sleep-Deprived Review:

      Boy, do I like mythical swords. They can be macguffins, rewards, banes, or something made over the course of the journey. In that regard, I really like the history behind these weapons. For some reason, the idea of a trinity of swords reminds me of the weapon triangle used in a lot of games, though it doesn’t work the same way, here.

      I really liked the line: “Matt was still marveling at its construction when he realized that Norah had allowed him to hold this one, which meant- “Hey!”” When I first read it, I laughed a little because I had thought that Norah had taken the blade away as Matt was having this moment of epiphany. Like, imagine being validated by a godly power that you are a good person, only for someone to interrupt you in the middle of the realization.

      I was a little saddened to see that it was not the case, and this leads me into some of my more harsh critiques. This piece is very confusing. As I read, I kept thinking, “…why?” and none of those questions were really answered. Why would Norah slap Matt’s hand away, but smirk? If he’s about to touch a super dangerous object (like the ones discussed in the piece), then shouldn’t she be a little more serious? Or is she just being playful? Why would Norah openly state that, “Giving humanity weapons only leads to ruin,” only to then make three remarkably powerful weapons for them to wield? Why is Norah’s first instinct to make MORE weapons to counteract her mistake of making powerful weapons and not–say–destroy them? If there was any indication that Norah was emotional and/or not thinking straight when she made “Draconis,” then I think the logic would flow a lot more neatly.

      As for editorial critiques:

      -“Matt frowned but knowing that Norah was blessed/cursed with all knowledge of the past and present…”
      There should be a comma before “but.”
      I don’t know the rules about using a “/” in literature, so take this with a grain of salt, but it makes the sentence look a bit strange to me.

      -““Clearly.” Matt chuckled.”
      The period after “clearly” should be a comma, because the sentence ends after chuckled.

      -“”Matt was still marveling at its construction when he realized that Norah had allowed him to hold this one, which meant- “Hey!””
      The hyphen at the end should be an em dash. It’s commonly used for breaks in sentences like this.

      Keep up the good work, Marx. I look forwards to reading your next work!

      1. Lol no worries. Sleep deprived review still makes complete sense to me.

        Let’s see here. I’m a hundred percent with you on mythical swords being fun to work with. It’s one of the reasons I liked the idea of there being a good one an “evil” one(not that the sword itself is evil, but evil can make use of it) and one more powerful than both as a mediator of sorts.

        And I can absolutely see how the Caliburn line could have been confusing. That’s why I tried to introduce early on that Matt was too powerful for the swords. Even if he did activate them, they’d just break. Which was why Norah was so playful in not letting Matt touch the Draconis. She knows everything going on in the present, including his thoughts, so there was very little chance he could touch it without her stopping him. And if he did, it would have just broken anyway so it isn’t technically dangerous.

        As for Norah’s logic in making more swords? The line of “Giving humanity weapons only leads to ruin.” Is a lesson she learned from this situation. Very much a hindsight is 20/20 deal.

        She also suffered from a bit of hubris when she made them. She had hope that humanity wouldn’t mess things up when she made the Draconis. They did. She wouldn’t admit defeat and tried again with the Caliburn. Humanity let her down again. She took her previous two mistakes and finally made it work, but even then, she currently has all the swords, so she doesn’t trust humanity with them anymore lol.

        I hope that helps! Good call on the grammar things! I’ll keep an eye on those. Thanks for the review!

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