Writing Group: Season of the Witch (PRIVATE)

Hello, Hexen, Familiars and Satanic Dancers!

Why, you look lost, my dear! Come into my cottage! I’m just setting up a cauldron of, erm, soup! Don’t mind the cat, she does that sometimes, because…

This week’s Writing Group prompt is:

Season of the Witch

RULES AND GUIDELINES BELOW!
Make sure you scroll down and read them if you haven’t! You may not be eligible if you don’t!

It most certainly is! As October begins, so do the festivities within our writing. Now is the time to bring out your most witchy of characters and stories. Bring out the cauldrons, the brooms, the ramshackle huts with the spires and strangely smoking. Give us full moons, black cats, magic mirrors, and stolen children’s souls…

What is the season of the witch, and why is it named as such? Do witches grow stronger as the days grow shorter, the air colder? 

Perhaps Autumn isn’t the season of the witch; perhaps a kind flower witch grows stronger in the spring. You don’t have to write about a literal season either. Solstices and equinoxes could be times of power for your witches. The time between three and four am is said to be the “Witching Hour” when supernatural creatures are at their most powerful. Walpurgis Night could also be a very fitting direction to take this prompt. The night is named after the Christian Saint Walpurga who is said to have fought against witchcraft. But the night is also said to be a time when witches gather on the Brocken to hold a sabbath. Whether you are for or against witches, it’s certainly a time for them. 

The story of Hansel and Gretel was inspired by a real and terrible famine. Perhaps the season of the witch is not necessarily one in which magic is stronger, but instead one in which the fear and desperation of the world at large leaves children vulnerable to witches, or the terrible things their mothers might do to them themselves…

A witch doesn’t have to be a pointy-hatted, warty-nosed old lady. You could write about a good witch. Perhaps your story takes place in a fantasy world where male magic users are also referred to as witches too. 

You could take this prompt in a more comedic and/or cute direction too. Perhaps the season of the witch is like hunting season for deer…except for witches. Maybe it’s the season of a tv show in which a witch features prominently. You could write about a teenager going through her “witch phase.” Or perhaps it is the season when the baby familiars are born, and it is time for a young witch to pick out a baby raven, or frog, or cat.

When things go wrong, people start to look for someone to blame. There have been many times in history when witches have been the wolf that angry mobs have cried. When someone—particularly a woman—has unorthodox views, or is outspoken, or simply seems a little off, their town often comes with torches. Perhaps this is not a season of power for witches, but instead one of fear and unrest in which they are persecuted. 

In our modern day, even if someone is not directly accused of being an actual witch, they still could serve as scapegoat, and be accused of doing something they didn’t do. After all, witch hunts can be held when there is no actual witch…

Yes, very good choice. One of my favorite dishes on the menu. And, how would you like your witch seasoned?

—Kaylie

Remember, this is part of our weekly Writing Group stream! Submit a little piece following the rules and guidelines below, and there’s a chance your entry will be read live on stream! In addition, we’ll discuss it for a minute and give you some feedback.

Tune into the stream this Saturday at 3:00pm CST to see if you made the cut!

The whole purpose of this is to show off the creativity of the community, while also helping each other to become better writers. Lean into that spirit! Get ready not just to share what you’ve got, but to give back to the other writers here as well.

Rules and Guidelines

We read at least five stories during each stream, two of which come from the public post, and three of which come from the much smaller private post. Submissions are randomly selected by a bot, but likes on your post will improve your chances of selection, so be sure to share your submission on social media!

  1. Text and Formatting

    1. English only.
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    3. Use proper spelling, grammar, and syntax.
    4. Your piece must be between 250-350 words (you can use this website to see your wordcount).
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  2. What to Submit

    1. Keep submissions “safe-for-work”; be sparing with sexuality, violence, and profanity.
    2. Try to focus on making your submission a single meaningful moment rather than an entire story.
    3. Write something brand new; no re-submitting past entries or pieces written for other purposes
    4. No fan fiction whatsoever. Take inspiration from whatever you’d like, but be transformative and creative with it. By submitting, you also agree that your piece does not infringe on any existing copyrights or trademarks, and you have full license to use it.
    5. Submissions must be self-contained (everything essential to understanding the piece is contained within the context of the piece itself—no mandatory reading outside the piece required. e.g., if you want to write two different pieces in the same setting or larger narrative, you cannot rely on information from one piece to fill in for the other—they must both give that context independently).
  3. Submission Rules

    1. One submission per participant.
    2. Submit your entry in a comment on this post.
    3. Submissions close at 12:00pm CST each Friday.
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    5. Be constructive and uplifting. These submissions are not for a professional market, and shouldn’t be treated as such. We do this, first and foremost, for the joy of the craft. Help other writers to feel like their work is valuable, and be considerate and gentle with critique when you offer it. Authors who leave particularly abrasive or disheartening remarks on this post will be disqualified from selection for readings.
    6. Use the same e-mail for your posts, reviews, and likes, or you may be rendered ineligible (you may change your username or author name between posts without problem, however).
    7. You may submit to either or both the public/private groups if you have access, but if you decide to submit to both, only the private group submission will be eligible.
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Comments on this post that aren’t submissions will be deleted, except for replies/reviews left on existing submissions.


Comments

38 responses to “Writing Group: Season of the Witch (PRIVATE)”

  1. vellichorian Avatar
    vellichorian

    Modern Witchhunt
    By vellichorian

    Claudia leaned her forehead against the glass. Before the fog from her breath could obscure her view, she noticed protesters gathering with signs on the lawn outside her dorm. She groaned and closed the blinds. She could handle the crude comments from Internet trolls, but this? This was taking things too far. How did they find out where she lived? Maybe if she stayed at Sophie’s apartment for a few days, they’d get bored, and the whole situation would blow over.

    Last week, she had thought the video was funny. Ironic, even. A little nod to Mother Nature. A little promotion of girl power. She guessed it was probably the WWHD (What Would Hecate Do) bracelet that pushed it over the edge. The Conservatives for a Better Campus group probably took that as a dig on their religious soapbox.

    Slamming her drawers hard enough to knock over glass bottles on top of the dresser, she crammed some essentials into her backpack. She changed into a grey hoodie and black sweats—just like half of the other girls in her dorm wore. She started for the door but paused just before turning the handle. She could hear noise from the crowd outside. There must be more people now. How would she sneak past them? If they knew where she lived, they might recognize her leaving. Or worse, someone might have gotten into the building.

    Thankfully, the hallway was empty when she left. Claudia wrapped her sleeve around her hand and pulled the fire alarm. The bell screeched, and irritated students joined her in the hallway. She ducked into the flow of people evacuating the building and followed them past picketers whose signs read, “Burn her!” and “Witch B Gone!”

    It still didn’t add up. This was too large a response to one stupid viral video. Was there someone else orchestrating the whole thing? Someone who had a personal problem with her? She would still go to Sophie’s, but first, she would work a detection spell to figure out who was responsible. Then they’d learn what real witchcraft was like.

    1. MelodyLuna7 Avatar
      MelodyLuna7

      I really liked the modern take on a witch hunt! Claudia is in this predicament because of a viral video she created. A ‘What Would Hecate Do’ bracelet, which is probably symbolic of some civil rights or social justice movement she supports. Protesting outside her dorm with signs instead of torches and pitchforks. I also really liked the mystery hinted at in the end and the last line, “Then they’d learn what real witchcraft was like,” was just threatening enough to convey her anger well.

      I have just one critique, and that is I wish we were able to learn what the contents were of the video she filmed. It took me a while to get invested in her escape because I didn’t know what the cause of it was. In fact, I was a little unsure if she was actually a witch or if ‘witch’ was a metaphor until close to the end.

      Other than that, I found it to be a fun piece. Great job!

  2. jesse fisher Avatar
    jesse fisher

    Magic Season
    by Jesse Fisher

    “Why are you so chipper today?” The sun kissed woman asked, looking at the person across the table. This companion was almost bursting with a glee that would have creeped out others.

    “It is time.”

    The woman just raised an eyebrow at this. The list of related ‘time’ things ranged, personal to the more objective stuff. Said objective stuff was more the stars and moon a lining so the other person could know what to wear for the next month. Then the first day of fall happens and the next ‘phase’ starts up. That explains the orange around the house.

    With a way of this person’s hand a light moved from the top of their head down to their feet leading to a broom that was sweeping the house to fly to them.

    “Oh that time.” The woman replied, going back to the breakfast that she was eating before asking.

    “Opálení, I miss when you used to freak out over this.” The magic user said glumly.

    “Zwitter, after like five years most of the stuff you do is just not as freaky.”

    “Oh,” Zwitter let go of their broom and almost changed out of the skirt and outfit. “I was thinking about asking you if you wanted to join me this year.”

    Opálení looked at them chewing her food. With a shrug she nodded.

    “I’m fine with it but after this is over for the year you are going to wear nothing but bright colors until it is spring.”

    “But…”

    “No buts Zwitter, if I’m going to give up my wardrobe for a season then so are you.”

    “Fine.”

  3. MelodyLuna7 Avatar
    MelodyLuna7

    Ash and Dust and Nothing (Ashcairn, of the Shaded Realm)
    By Mel

    You can DM me on Discord for the details!

    1. jesse fisher Avatar
      jesse fisher

      Well damn, that was a trip. Going with the metaphor of fall being the meaning for death, and it going to a vampire death. I can see Nyla’s trauma from that. Really the whole mood was so on point and I must say this universe is just so nice. I do think the call back to other phases might put off others, but me. I think it was a good choice of call backs.

    2. vellichorian Avatar
      vellichorian

      I absolutely love the sensory descriptions you used — the dry leaf crumbling like ash and sticks poking through clothing. It increased my empathy of Nyla’s intense emotions. Even though witches are generally portrayed as villains, I was angry at whatever caused Yasmin’s death. I want to read more of the story, for sure!

    3. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Oooh, a new character this week!! Neat!!

      I really love the grounded and tactile nature of this piece. I really feel like I’m there in the woods with her, crunching leaves in my hand.
      “she could feel the dried leaves poking sharply through her skirt.” is probably my favorite line in this regard. It really is something you’d feel kneeling in dead leaves, and it’s so simple but so grounding.

      It’s also interesting how it’s specifically the end of autumn. There is certainly a sense of sorrow, loss, and death to that time that neither the colorful beginning of autumn, nor the snowfall of winter, contains.

      “Delicately, slowly, so that they would remain whole. Perhaps they were the last unbroken things in the world. Nyla picked up another between her thumb and forefinger.
      Crnch.”
      –I love how this part is not just the physical scene, but also a great picture of her mindset. They aren’t really the last unbroken things in the world, but Nyla is in such a fragile place right now, searching for anything that won’t break, that it feels like it. And then…she herself breaks them.
      I also love that you remove the “u” in crunch. It feels much more like the actual sound.

      “This is how she died. This is how WE die. Into ash and dust and nothing.
      The image of her lover’s final moments was forever burned into her mind. When Nyla closed her eyes, Yasmin’s expression of terror and agony haunted her.”
      –A great segue. The first time the line is said it seems like just a setting detail, and you wonder why she’s so upset, and then this adds a whole new element to the piece. It’s not the season, it’s the fact that it’s a reminder of her lover’s death.

      “If a witch cries in the forest, who is left to hear the sound?”
      –Love this

      “Even the leaves seemed to cling to their branches, holding tight so that their drifting wouldn’t disturb her.”
      –Such a cool image

      “When Nyla stood back up, a brown stake rested in her hands.
      From ash and dust and nothing.”
      –I love how the repeated line changes with each repetition. That from ash and dust and nothing revenge is born. It’s a really powerful and well crafted place to end the piece!!

      As for my critiques:

      “This is how she died. This is how WE die. Into ash and dust and nothing.”
      –Is this supposed to be inside her head? I know it can be hard to convey that without italics, but I think something like “This how she died, she thought. This is how WE die.” would be quite helpful. As is, the “we” doesn’t quite work in the narration for me because it’s not in first person, and implies the 3rd person narrator is a witch.

      “A vampire buried in her throat. Her face sunken and sallow. Yasmin collapsing into her arms as she withered away into ash…”
      –I became quite confused at this part. I think part of it is the phrasing. The vampire being “buried” in her throat kinda takes a second to parse, then I’m not sure who’s face is sunken and sallow, the vampire’s or yasmine’s….
      I thought the vampires were the ones who turned to ash when they died…but is it all witches? I also think I assumed that the other witches would be on good terms with the vampires, because they’d know they’re just a special kind of witch…but it looks like that’s not the case.
      This probably wouldn’t be as confusing to others, but having heard a bit about your world I got confused.

      Great piece!! I was really hoping to see you submit for this prompt!!

  4. The long night
    By Blinky

    Logan sharpened his axe as he watched a moonless night batter the last vestiges of daylight into a long sleep. He wouldn’t see it again for some days. If he ever saw it again.

    He peered into the woods beyond his makeshift camp. In the past few months, the animals of his forest grew restless. The days grew cold, and fires no longer held the warmth they should.

    “When the light falters and the night creeps ever longer, along the pale wind those touched by the strange hunt.” His father, Luther, once told him when he was just a boy. His large hands squeezed Logan’s shoulders far too tight, but something about the old man’s disposition made him swallow the pain. “You ever hear the woods sing, run inside and lock the doors. Barricade them shut and permit no entry. Not even for me. Not until the day breaks over them trees.” Luther gave him a hard look. One he hardly recognized. “No witch may enter another’s home uninvited. Your mother protects us even now. Understand?”

    “Yes, sir.” Logan managed to choke out. Not the slightest idea why his father was so afraid, but holding that fear all the same.

    It had been some time since, but he never forgot that day. He never forgot the madness he now recognized in his father’s eyes. Eventually, the woods sang, and the pale winds came. He did as he was told and hated every bit of himself for it. Luther had it in his mind he’d take on a dozen covens himself. Just a man and an axe stood in front of his cabin. He died slow and terrible.

    Logan had lived a lifetime since, but those days stuck with him. Sitting on the other side of that door listening to them torture the old man. Logan’s heart was branded with that weakness. So, he sharpened his axe and waited for the singing. A single man against the witches of the long night stood no chance. A bitter witch at the height of his powers? That might be a different story.

    1. MasaCur Avatar
      MasaCur

      This was a chilling story. You set up a great revenge story, with the explanation of the witching season, and the father doing what he needed to protect his family, even though it would cost him his life. And not pleasantly either. It was horrific.
      And then I got to the end, and I realized Lucas took the measures to get revenge on the witch coven using their own methods, and becoming one of them. And it suddenly opened a new potential of what may happen. It was well done. Good job, Blinky.

      1. I appreciate your kind words. Thank you.

  5. Expanding the Nest (Illusions of Heroes)
    by Gerrit (Rattus)

    “Ruddreth belongs to the Sparrows now, understood?” Serennia leaned forward, hands planted firmly on the mayor’s desk.

    “If you think I’m going to hand this city over, you’re sorely mistaken. I’ve dealt with bigger threats than you. You don’t scare me.”

    “I highly doubt that.” Serennia stood up straight, a smirk turning the corner of her lips. With a flick of her wrist, a magical blade shot from her fingertips, slicing through the mayor’s chair a hair’s width from his neck.

    The mayor swallowed hard, sweat greasing his brow. Serennia kept her gaze locked with his, unyielding. She knew he would break. It was only a matter of when, and how much she would have to push him to get there.

    “What are you after? Do you want to depose me and turn this good city into some sort of criminal haven? A hub for you and your nefarious friends?”

    “You don’t seem to understand. You’ll stay in office, and the city will be none the wiser. As far as they’ll be concerned, nothing within the government will have changed. But you’ll answer to me, and nothing will go through this office without my approval.

    “As for making this city a so-called ‘criminal haven’,” Serennia continued, “I assure you nothing could be further from the truth. My Sparrows will be allowed to operate unhindered, of course. But I promise you that we will do what we can to eradicate crime from this city.”

    “You expect me to believe that? That you’re staging a coup for altruistic reasons? Forgive me if I’m sceptical that a bunch of known criminals are trying to do good.”

    “I never said my intentions were selfless. I have big plans for the Sparrows, and that involves both funding and resources. Something that only you can provide. And since I knew you wouldn’t do so out of the goodness of your heart, I decided to take matters into my own hands.”

    “And what exactly are these plans of yours?”

    Serennia smiled. “A puppet shouldn’t concern himself with the matters of those holding the strings.”

    1. Glaceon373 Avatar
      Glaceon373

      Go get ’em, Serennia! Rattus, I really like the emotions of this piece. Serennia is, not surprisingly, serene, with words that flow like honey, but in a way that she’s clearly got some tricks up her sleeves. I’m not personally familiar with the Sparrows, but I already like their vibe. I also really like your last line. It ties everything together very well. Overall, Rattus, a very fun read. Great job!

    2. MelodyLuna7 Avatar
      MelodyLuna7

      You established Serennia as an awesome person that you don’t want to mess with right within the first three paragraphs. I was rooting for her and on her side from the get-go. She’s cutthroat and ruthless and determined and I immediately adore her as a character.

      “You expect me to believe that? That you’re staging a coup for altruistic reasons? Forgive me if I’m sceptical that a bunch of known criminals are trying to do good.” I laughed at this line because his view is totally understandable.

      “A puppet shouldn’t concern himself with the matters of those holding the strings.” Such a great line and it does a great job of reinforcing her character.

      I have two critiques, but they’re nothing major.
      1.) In the second paragraph, I wished that there was a description of a physical reaction from the mayor so I could get a better sense of the scene.
      2.) “She knew he would break. It was only a matter of when, and how much she would have to push him to get there.” I think this would flow better without everything after “It was only a matter of when,” because the second part of that sentence is a bit redundant. You did an excellent job implying her willingness to push until he changed his mind that the readers don’t need it spelled out to them as well.

      This was a great piece! Good job Rat!

  6. MasaCur Avatar
    MasaCur

    Graduation
    By MasaCur

    Erykah paced along the backstage, looking over her notes. Nearby, Willow was playfully kicking her feet as she sat.

    “Erykah, you look like you’re going to blow an artery or something.” Willow said. “You really should relax.”

    “I can’t relax! This is a big deal!”

    “You just have to make one speech. I’m the master of ceremonies. You’ll be fine.” Willow pulled out a pocket watch. “Speaking of which, I’m on.”

    Erykah nodded and kept going over her notes, as her friend went on stage. As she recited what she wrote down, she heard Willow say her name.

    “I’d like you to welcome our top graduating student and my good friend, Erykah Toadbarrow.”

    Erykah winced at her last name. It was embarrassing. She should drop it. She walked meekly out on stage and adjusted the brim of her pointed hat.

    “Hello students and faculty of Stromrose Academy of Magic, and honored guests.” Her dusky green skin darkened with embarrassment. “You may have noticed, I’m an orc. That probably doesn’t seem so weird now, but I was literally in the first class with female orcs to be admitted to this school. And a week after I attended, no one seemed to notice. Not once have I been treated differently than any of the other witches and warlocks attending class here. So, imagine my surprise that I am now the first Orc to graduate top of my class, and I was all, ‘Oh yeah, I guess that’s a thing.’”

    Erykah was relieved that her comment was met with laughter.

    “I have made some great friends here over the past few years. It’s been great. And now we close this chapter of our lives, and move on to the next one. Many of us have been admitted to advanced magic academies. Others will turn to finding employment as hedge witches or magical supply, or something along those lines. But I wish this class of new witches and warlocks the best in forging their way into the world. This is a big step for us, and I, for one, look forward to it.”

    1. Glaceon373 Avatar
      Glaceon373

      Masa, what a cute piece! I know I’m not as familiar with these characters as other people here, but I still really like seeing them come up in stories. Erykah’s nerves before presenting on stage are very relatable. Plus the touch about how Erykah isn’t treated differently for being an orc was a nice inclusion. I feel like this story wants a thousand more words, and I think they’d be well-deserved. Overall, Masa, a very fun read. Great job!

    2. Awww, this is such an adorable story. I do love it when a prompt has a blend of the dark and twisted as well as the cute and wholesome.

      Good to know orc witches hate public speaking as much as I do! In all seriousness though, this is done so well and gives you all the information you need to know about this fantastical world even though everything that’s happening is so human.

      Great take on the prompt!

  7. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
    i-prefer-the-term-antihero

    [Dm me on discord for more information!]

    1. Lee Strangely Avatar
      Lee Strangely

      Nothing says Halloween more than telling a spooky tale during a dark fall night. It reminds me of the scene in the original Legend of Sleepy Hollow cartoon when Brom tells the story of the Headless Horseman. Very similar to the story, it plays with the use of legends and rumors. I like the element of having the story being spread by the very person it’s meant to refer to. It’s like if the devil didn’t really do most of the things he was blamed for, but leaned into the rumors, myths, and legends anyway to create a reputational and make himself appear more powerful than he is, even going as far as spreading a few of them himself. The descriptions also paint the perfect classic dark fall setting for Halloween themed stories and spooky tales in general. Great job!

    2. Skeleton Avatar
      Skeleton

      I’m glad that this Morgana is the witch variety and not the cat telling me to go to sleep. I miss the days of Arthurian tales, but romance changes with what people perceive to be ideal.

      Hand in hand with that thought, I really like how you twist the obviously exaggerated story into a logical lie. It reveals so much of the world you’ve built–that witches are not as powerful as we think they are in the ways of magic, but are weavers of social disruption–using deceit to get what they want. I love this idea, and I would like to know more about witches as a result! You back this up, too, with Mordred immediately assuming that it was Morgana who created the lie. It makes you wonder how old she is…

      The only real critique I have is a minor editing note:

      “It is said that, at this time of year, even the dead stir in their coffins, and a passing witch might just wake their slumbering corpses up.”

      I believe the only comma you need in this sentence is between coffins and… and. I know the others are to show the pacing of the sentence, but grammatically I believe they aren’t necessary. I think the line should be:

      “It is said that at this time of year even the dead stir in their coffins, and a passing witch might just wake their slumbering corpses up.”

      Great job! Keep it up, Anti!

    3. MelodyLuna7 Avatar
      MelodyLuna7

      The first paragraph did a great job setting the tone for the spooky vibes of this piece! “The season of decay” is such a great descriptor for the fall, I love it! And the ending interaction between Morgana and Mordred was amusing in just the right amount to contrast the rest of the piece.

      “A well-placed lie and a healthy dose of fear can make a witch more powerful than any season or full moon.” This was such a good line too, and what a great one to end the piece!

      I really loved the Halloween vibes of this piece! Just enough spookiness with an amusing ending to contrast it was a great way to give it a twist! I’m curious to know who Morgana and Mordred are (though I’m wondering if they’re related to King Arthur?). Great job Antihero!

    4. I really like this piece. The storyteller was done perfectly. The way they described everything was beautifully done. I also quite like the quote about lies and fear. The right lie can topple kingdoms. Really well done.

    5. I did wonder if Morgana was a version of THAT Morgana or just using the name. Mordred being there would suggest the former lol. I absolutely loved the story within a story. The wording worked perfectly. Everything from calling fall the season of decay and the full moon as an unblinking eye is just amazing.

      And it also tickles me that Morgana is just in the corner listening to a story I’m assuming she told herself. Especially since I’d assume embellishments and alterations were made since she told it. I can absolutely see the value of having people, children especially, believing that a witch is more powerful than they are. Or even that they have power over things that they don’t. It’s such a fun concept to play with.

      Great story!

  8. Lee Strangely Avatar
    Lee Strangely

    Wand Way Or Another
    by Lee Strangely

    Under the shadows of the thick dark clouds, the old church’s bell echoed across the foggy fields, reverberating past the gnarled trees and weathered tombstones. It called to the men below as they trudged through wet leaves and mud, with only their lanterns to see. Amory could hear their voices as they passed by. Occasionally she peeked out of the hole to check their progress.
    When it seemed safe, her attention returned to the coffin below. She was easily able to tear apart the rotten wood. Dozens of tiny creatures slithered and crawled away once they were exposed, their absence revealing the intended occupant. All but bones remained, still clutching at a wrinkly black book. Amory wrestled it out of its brittle grasp.

    Books like this one are known by many titles depending on their author. In common tongue, they are simply called Grimoires, an invaluable tool for younger, inexperienced witches such as herself. Unfortunately, such tomes are as hard to come by as willing teachers, if not harder. Most are often burned along with their captured authors, or buried with the few who went unnoticed up to their deaths.

    The sound of the mob soon grew too close for comfort. Instinctively, Amory reached for the side of her leg, only for her blood to run cold. Early on, the mob had caught her by surprise, leaving only enough time to grab her shoes. Her wand was left behind in the flight. You see, casting a spell without a wand is essentially firing a gun without a barrel: it’s unfocused, and volatile.

    Up above, the mob surrounded her. One man, who was either quite brave or dimwitted, approached. A loud snap came from the hole as he pointed his rifle down it. Instantly, everyone heard something akin to thunder, as a blinding blast shot up, knocking the man and several yards away. They all turned to the hole.

    “Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble,” Amory muttered, stepping out with the book in hand, “Something wicked this way comes…”

    Her other hand then pointed a skeletal arm in their direction, “IT’S HERE!”

    1. jesse fisher Avatar
      jesse fisher

      A good jump into the action and a neat story to boot. The ticking clock of the mob was very well used and nicely paid off at the end. Also liked how you explained the wand as the barrel of a gun, it paints a clear image and the skeletal hand was a nice follow up on that. I now want a series with Amory as the lead.

      All in all loved it.

  9. Glaceon373 Avatar
    Glaceon373

    Returning from the Grocery Store
    by Carrie (Glaceon373)

    “I’m home!” Bellona called from the threshold of the apartment. “I bought the lemons—”

    “Bellona, you have some explaining to do!”

    Uh oh. Bellona hung up her hat. “What’s up, Cammie?”

    Loud footsteps echoed from the kitchen. Cammie, Bellona’s usually-calm roommate, held a paring knife in one hand and her phone in the other. She pointed at the screen with the blade. “What. Is. THIS?!”

    Bellona took the phone gently.

    A social media post of security camera footage, tagged as a meme. A man in a messy plaid shirt and a woman in a pristine black dress and a nice hat crossed paths on a sidewalk. The man slapped the woman’s butt as she walked past. Then instead of the man there was a fish, flailing and suffocating on the concrete. The woman laughed as she walked away.

    “Is that you?!” Cammie yelled.

    “Yeah.” Bellona said, smoothing out her dress. “Why do you ask?”

    “I— you—how did you—” Cammie stuttered. “He just turned into a fish! And you laughed and walked away!”

    “Yeah? He deserved it. And it only lasted, like, thirty seconds.” Bellona moved into the kitchen and put the lemons where they went, right next to the rosemary.

    “No, I’m not arguing that, but—Bellona!” Cammie’s eyes flooded with crazed bewilderment. “People don’t just turn into fish! Did—did you do that?”

    “Do what?”

    “Do you turn that man into a fish?”

    Bellona turned towards her roommate. She let her occult jewelry catch the reflection of the kitchen lights. The tattoos on her wrists were on full display. “Yeah. I did. Don’t tell anyone though, the Witch Council might wipe your brain if you do. Again, I mean.”

    She turned away to pull something out of the fridge.

    “You—you—” Cammie held her head with the hand without a knife in it. “You’ve been a witch? This whole time?!”

    Bellona laughed. Arguably, cackled. She removed a small cauldron of now-chilled acid green liquid and put it on the counter. “I can’t believe it took you this long to notice. Now, how much lemon juice should I add to this seasoning?”

    1. Lee Strangely Avatar
      Lee Strangely

      I like this story. It’s lighthearted and quite fun. Though, the execution is kind of odd. It feels like it was written in two entirely different directions. Most of the beginning (perhaps due to my own expectations) felt like it was building up to an argument over why Bellona shouldn’t have exposed herself by using her powers in public, with the implication that Cammie was already aware of Bellona’s powers and/or even had similar powers herself. The rest of the story leaned in the direction that Cammie had just learned that Bellona was not as she seemed, and was now trying to make sense of everything. Despite this, I think both aspects of the story were written well, I only wish that it would’ve went with one or the other rather than both.

      One other thing… the ending for the most part is fine, though I think Cammie’s reaction to learning her memory has been wiped before and her friend is a witch seems to be played a little too, for lack of a better term, ‘weightless.’ I can understand why Bellona would react to all of this so nonchalantly, but for Cammie this is likely traumatizing. The whole thing doesn’t need to be very dark and serious, but even in a lighthearted story, some things should be given a little bit of weight due to either their subject matter or to just balance things out.

      Overall I think you did a good job, and I hope that I haven’t come across as too discouraging or rude in any way.

    2. This was such a fun piece! Both of the characters have a lot of personality that comes across really well in their dialogue and actions. I love the idea of her not realizing this whole time that her roommate has been a witch, and the implications that they’ve been through this before but Cammie got brain wiped afterwards. Lovely story, thank you for sharing!

    3. MelodyLuna7 Avatar
      MelodyLuna7

      I really liked the lighthearted and humorous tone of this piece! ““Bellona, you have some explaining to do!” Uh oh.” This interaction alone did a great job setting up the tone.

      “The man slapped the woman’s butt as she walked past. Then instead of the man there was a fish, flailing and suffocating on the concrete.” This is absolutely hilarious and amazing. And Cammie’s flabbergasted response to the video was great, as well as the casual “It was only thirty seconds!” comeback.

      “Again, I mean.” I laughed out loud at this comment, and it made me wonder how many times that poor woman got brain wiped.

      Great job! What a fun piece!

  10. Oh No, It’s Her Again
    By Marx (CW: Torture)

    The fear and hate in the air was palpable. You could feel it. You could see it. You could smell it. You could taste it. And you most definitely could hear it.

    “Burn the witch!”

    “Burn the witch!”

    The witch in question merely smiled from the stake. She could see the runes around her. They were the only reason she didn’t simply break her restraints. The hypocrisy didn’t escape her. But that wasn’t why she smiled.

    However, she was drawn from her revelry by a demand she hadn’t expected from the priest. She responded in kind. “Why would I repent? To who? Your God? Your God cares nothing for you or any of this. But mine… Oooooh… mine will be drawn to it, like…” She grinned even wider as a giggle escaped her strained lips. “…a moth to a flame.”

    “As you wish, so shall it be…” The priest said with a clear remorse for what he must do as the wood below the witch was set aflame.

    The crowd erupted in spite and vindication as her screams began. One less witch to poison their village. One less temptation to poison their souls. But the celebration was short-lived. As her screaming turned to laughter and back into screams they began to realize the problem.

    Soon the only sound other than the raucous screaming and laughing was the fire crackling as it attempted to consume its prey.

    ‘Attempted’ being the core word.

    “While it clearly burns her, she heals too quickly. She will outlast the flames at this point,” said a calm voice in the crowd. “I would suggest funneling magic into the fire instead.”

    “Silence, fool!” said the priest. “We only use what magic is absolutely necessary. Lest we be no better than the witches themselves.”

    “I suppose it doesn’t matter, all things considered. I hunger.”

    The priest turned to the voice. “Who are you, stranger? And what know you of this witchcraft?”

    “You may call me Alexandros.” Easily waving away the runes, he smiled up at the burning witch, who smiled back. “Hello Sabrina. It’s been a while.”

    1. Skeleton Avatar
      Skeleton

      I mean, I don’t remember the episode of “Sabrina the teen-aged witch” where she’s put to the stake, but I’ll take your word for it!

      Jokes aside, I liked the way you wrote Sabrina to be cocky from the beginning of the piece. It really foreshadows that she knows something more than what she’s letting on, and that she may have a plan to escape in store. Additionally, I also liked the atmosphere of the piece. The sullen look on the priest’s face as a lost soul refuses repentance was a nice touch, and I liked it because it broke the stereotypical “angry priest at a witch burning” trope.

      Which is why I’m disappointed that he reverted to that immediately afterwards. You established him to be remorseful (an by extension, kind) for doing this, but then he turns around and snaps at a voice in the crowd. I feel it would have worked better if he were to stay as a kind priest doing the unfortunate dirty work necessary for the job. On the topic of dirty work, I’m confused by the presence of both the runes and Alexandros. The priest states that they don’t use better magic for killing witches “Lest we be no better than the witches themselves.”

      However, wouldn’t using magic still be the same as being a witch? Like, why use magic at all if you’re afraid of witches using magic? That would put them in the same boat, wouldn’t it? It leads me to ask: Why is she being burnt then? A conflict of gods? That would seem the most likely thing, considering her rant about the issue. If that’s the case, then wouldn’t she be burning because she’s a heretic, not for witchcraft? It makes more sense to me, since the priest is already using magic in the first place.

      Alexandros feels a bit out of place, too. I honestly expected that the priest would be far more disturbed by the fact that the witch is laughing while burning alive, being kept from death from her own powers. The introduction of Alexandros takes away the shock factor of this horrific act as you move away from the burning itself. I feel the ending would have worked better if Sabrina revealed she was laughing because she had already figured out a way to escape, and the priest had given her the keys to get away safely.

      Regardless, I still liked the piece. Keep up the effort!

      1. Thank you so much for the review. I do love how this works as a story but it hits me that it just… reads differently when you’re familiar with the characters. Interesting fact, Sabrina had no intention of escaping. She was going to stay on the stake and burn until they ran out of wood and then eagerly wait to see what other way they had to torture or attempt to kill her.

        Her relationship with Alex is one of pain. He enjoys her being in pain so she provides it for him. So her laughter was more because they don’t have the juice to kill her. All they can do is hurt her, which is what she wants anyway, especially since she knows Alex is there.

        That said, I do agree with you a bit on the Priest’s portrayal being somewhat inconsistent. But as for it not making sense to burn a witch while using magic, well lol that’s the point. They’re hypocrites. If you’re going to burn someone for using magic and yet you use magic to trap them, it doesn’t matter if you try to justify it by not using a lot, you’re still being a hypocrite.

        Also, another line that rings different if you know, is that when Alex feeds, he feeds on entire towns. So when he says he hungers and frees Sabrina, it basically means everyone on that village is a goner.

    2. MasaCur Avatar
      MasaCur

      Wait! “Why would I repent? To who? Your God? Your God cares nothing for you or any of this. But mine… Oooooh… mine will be drawn to it, like…” She grinned even wider as a giggle escaped her strained lips. “…a moth to a flame.”
      And then Alexandros shows up.
      Is Alexandros a representation of Sabrina’s god? This would explain a lot.
      Amway, like Skeleton, I’m a little curious about the priest’s use of magic. Apparently some magic is okay, but too much will make you no better than the witches you punish? I would have thought the use of any magic would be seen as witchcraft. Unless the magic is of a divine source, at which point, why bother limiting how much you use, unless the deity is restricting it from their clergy. Not quite sure I got that.
      Having said, this was a…fun…story to read. The idea of Sabrina being able to heal herself during the burning and responding with screams while the heat kills her, and then laughing as her magic allows her to regenerate from the burns was very well done. Despite the nitpicks about some plot points regarding the magic, it was well set up Everyone has a good voice here. Good work, Marx.

      1. Lol you are correct! Alex is Sabrina’s god. That is why he shows up at the end. Though technically he’s a demon/incubus but as far as Sabrina is concerned he is her god.

        And I went into more detail with the magical inconsistencies in the reply to Skeleton, but the gist is that it is purposely hypocritical but they try to justify it by limiting the magic they use. Good ol’ case of when I do it its righteous, but don’t you dare do it too.

  11. Skeleton Avatar
    Skeleton

    Soulbound (The Will)
    By Skeleton

    Eymir,

    I know you can read this: you were so excited when you finally understood the letters that had eluded your understanding for so long. You wouldn’t forget them, even after these twenty years.

    You’ve been gone for a long time, and I’m left to wonder if you know what’s happening in the world. Have you seen the turmoil caused by your choice to give in to destruction, or have you been blinded by it? It doesn’t really matter now. Soon, the door will give way and the crowd will get inside. Their chants of “burn the witch” don’t leave much to the imagination. My time left here is short. Perhaps I’ll feel a modicum of your suffering.

    The truth is that I miss you. I want to see you again.

    I’ve been thinking of a moment a few weeks after our wedding; I was reading a dictation on the transmutation of mana into obscure magic in bed by the candlelight, and you sat in the corner of the room just watching me. I had offered you a spot next to me, but you had said “it would ruin the view.”

    I had thought then that you were being corny, since this had taken place after eight days of continual work, sleeping only about six hours a night. I had been less than appealing physically, so the comment caught me off guard since it came from you. But the more I think about it, the more I realize how much I miss your voice. Because it wasn’t my sunken eyes you were appreciating, it was how much I loved reading that stupid book.

    I don’t understand how it’s taken me this long to realize this, but you really only wanted for me to be happy, didn’t you? For everyone that you love to be happy?

    I happily burn for you: the demon I sold my soul to. I would do so one thousand times if it meant that I could feel your eyes on me one more time.

    And I just want you to know:

    I love you.

    -Remianna

    1. This piece is absolutely beautiful. The emotion comes through so clearly, and it really made me feel sad for Remianna. I could really tell that there was a lot of love between her and Eymir. I’m definitely holding out hope that she’ll be spared from the horrible fate that seems to be awaiting her and that they’ll be reunited. Great job!

    2. I’m a romantic at heart so I really enjoyed this. The emotion was really well done. Great piece.

    3. vellichorian Avatar
      vellichorian

      I love that you chose to frame your story in the form of a letter. It makes Remianna’s words feel very personal. You were able to give just enough backstory for things to make sense without going overboard. The idea that love can surpass the pain caused by bad actions is so fitting for the topic. Well done!

    4. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Omg, she’s his wife?!?! :O I mean, if anyone would be, I’d guess it’d be her. But when I asked if Zaila was his and Remianna’s biological kid and you said no, I guess my mind mistakenly drifted away from the idea of Remianna being his wife too XD
      Very neat thing to know. I’m glad that he found love, at least at one point in his life.

      I really like the formatting of the letter. It’s very engaging and heartfelt, and allows you to explore a different perspective, without switching the narration mode for a week (…like I do sometimes XD). It fits well for a tf piece.

      “You’ve been gone for a long time, and I’m left to wonder if you know what’s happening in the world. Have you seen the turmoil caused by your choice to give in to destruction, or have you been blinded by it?”
      –This is really fascinating and sad. Is she saying he’s been gone 20 years? :O That really is a long time…
      It’s sad to hear that he gave in to destruction, even while they were married.
      A lot of the time a character will give into destruction because a loved one was killed (definitely thinking of Dracula and Lisa comparisons) but in this case it’s almost sadder. Because he (presumably) could be living happily with his wife…and instead chose destruction…and she died while he was a away…
      I like the compare/contrast on if he’s seen the consequences of his own actions or blinded by them.

      I was wondering if Remianna was meant to be a main character, or if the reason it’s mainly just Zaila and Eymir is because she’s dead. It seems it’s the latter. Which is very sad.

      The story she tells is very cute. I especially love “Because it wasn’t my sunken eyes you were appreciating, it was how much I loved reading that stupid book.”
      I definitely thought it was going to be that he didn’t care how appealing she looked at the moment, she was always beautiful to him, but I feel like there’s something deeper in the idea that seeing your loved one so passionate makes them more beautiful. She was in love with the book, and he was in love with her being in love.

      “I don’t understand how it’s taken me this long to realize this, but you really only wanted for me to be happy, didn’t you? For everyone that you love to be happy?”
      –It’s really sad she didn’t think he wanted her to be happy in their marriage. But I do love the idea that he is out causing destruction, and in the midst of all that, she realizes that he has a kinder heart than he seems to.

      “I happily burn for you: the demon I sold my soul to.”
      –This is a really interesting idea/phrasing. I don’t think he’s an actual demon, but I’m sure plenty of people call him one, and say she sold her soul. So it’s cool that she is facing death with faith and love, and without fear. That this dark line is made into a romantic one.

      Critiques:

      For me, the word “corny” is such a modern idea that it ends up taking me out of the story to come across it in a generally more fantastical world.

      “I would do so one thousand times if it meant that I could feel your eyes on me one more time.”
      –I know this is meant to be romantic, but…feeling someone’s eyes on you is so heavily associated with negative connotations (stalkers, or more fantastical evil creatures watching you), that for me it ends up reading more creepy than romantic, even with the cute story. I think something like “to feel you look at me like that again” would work, and wouldn’t have the connotation.

      And then lastly…something about the tone of the piece feels off for me. I really like the story being told here, and I get what you’re going for, but her tone reads as sort of…apathetic to me? rather than romantic. Like she’s kind of resigned to her fate. And I think you mean it to be really passionate. I’m not sure why it reads that way. If I read it on the stream I think I might be able to figure it out, but as is, I feel like there’s a lot of emotion and impact that *should* be there, but which I don’t feel…
      Sorry, I know that’s vague and probably not that helpful. But I know you usually find critique helpful so I thought I’d say it.

      Wonderful piece!! Always love reading about these two

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