Writing Group: Can’t Rain All the Time (PRIVATE)

Cheer up, Meteorologists and Storm Chasers!

Quite a downpour we’ve been having lately, huh? Don’t worry; we’ll walk in the sun again soon, because…

This week’s Writing Group prompt is:

Can’t Rain All the Time

RULES AND GUIDELINES BELOW!
Make sure you scroll down and read them if you haven’t! You may not be eligible if you don’t!

This prompt comes from the movie The Crow. “It can’t rain all the time” is from the protagonist, Eric’s, band. He quotes this to Sarah, a street kid he used to look after, to identify himself. This optimistic ideal characterizes Eric’s worldview before he’s brought back as a revenant one year after he and his fiancée were murdered. The two loved each other and had a bright future ahead of them. While his motive throughout the film is revenge, Eric still possesses that idealism deep down that one day the metaphorical rain will stop.

Funnily enough, this saying has made its way into popular culture well enough that knew it, despite not knowing of the movie when it was picked. Many of you might have heard it too. It’s the idea that “things won’t be bad forever” when it seems like they will be. Usually I’ve seen it applied when a character is feeling down for one reason or another, and another is trying to cheer them up, telling them that things will get better. 

It’s a really nice mantra in this way too. So many things one could say in this context are either unhelpful or untrue. “Chin up” or “It’s not the end of the world” often are quite dismissive and unhelpful. And, as for “It’ll be okay” or “Things’ll get better” well…unfortunately, one doesn’t know if that’s true, one can only hope so. But “It can’t rain all the time”? That is true. Even in places where it rains almost year round, it still doesn’t rain forever. Even in the world of the movie, where the world was supernaturally dreary, it still didn’t last forever. The same is true for the bad things in our lives.

In this use of the prompt, it could be interesting to consider which perspective you want to tell the story from. What would bring a character to the point where they feel like nothing will ever get better? And, on the other side, how might another go about cheering them up; what would bring them to the conclusion that it won’t last forever? Do they succeed in cheering them up, or does the first character run off saying ‘You don’t understand!’? 

You could also apply the mantra more like the character in the movie does. He’s maintaining a positive attitude, despite the dreadful situation he’s in. Maybe your character is able to stay optimistic and cheer themselves up. How do they do this? Perhaps you want to delve into their psyche, and/or show the effect they have on the world around them. I’ve been watching Ted Lasso lately, and Ted is a prime example of how someone who (almost) always maintains a positive attitude. This positivity affects everyone around him (usually in good ways). But this isn’t necessarily easy. Watching this show, it highlights to me the fact that I haven’t seen a whole lot of characters who are like this, and how real people like that are even rarer. I would be curious to see how you all might write a character of this sort. 

You could also take the prompt in a much more literal direction. The prompt makes me think of kids inside the house, staring at the rain outside the window, groaning that they’re bored. A parent might walk by saying “It can’t rain all the time. It’ll let up eventually.” Often with these scenes, however, it’s what the kids do inside that becomes far more interesting. Think of the scene in Narnia where they’re bored in the rain and decide to play hide and seek…something that sets their life in a completely new direction. 

Another way you could apply that idea is by having your characters go out and play in the rain. It can’t rain all the time, true, but maybe your characters can learn to enjoy the rain anyways. Maybe there is good to be found in even the darkest situation. 

“Rain” could mean different things. Maybe you want to write about sun showers, where the sun is out while it’s raining. Maybe you want to write about freezing rain, or acid rain—something that could seriously harm you if you went outside. It could be something like the sludge falling from the sky and corrupting the Zoras’ domain in The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. You could go the Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs direction and write about the strange circumstances that could cause things like food to rain down. What about fantasy worlds and alien planets? What sort of rain occurs there is limited only by your imagination. 

However, considering this has become a saying that means “Things won’t be bad forever” you could even play with different kinds of weather than rain. Back where I used to live in Seattle, “It can’t rain all the time” was certainly the apt phrase. But here, in Texas, “It can’t be sun all the time” would be the more fitting idiom. Perhaps you could play with this sort of thing. What other weather could be the “bad” that will eventually end? How could you still make the prompt clear while using a different weather phenomenon? 

Other things could symbolically act as rain. A leaky faucet could feel like a constant rain. A waterfall could be like rain (though waterfalls do generally rain all the time, so I’d be curious to see how you might use this one. Perhaps the troll living beneath it believes the rain will eventually stop, not realizing it’s a waterfall that won’t?). One of my personal favorite images is equating tears to rain—like in Fullmetal Alchemist when Roy Mustang’s friend dies and he says it’s a terrible day for rain, even though it isn’t raining, signifying that he’s crying. 

My first challenge is a simple one. Last week there was a lot of introspection going on, and my challenge related to it. This prompt is one that could easily be introspective too. My challenge is to not use introspection! Last week we explored how to make introspection interesting. This week, why not explore using devices other than introspection to convey the emotion you want?

My other challenge is to use onomatopoeia somewhere in your story! In a story about rain, “plinks” and “plonks” and “dribbles” are all fair game. Help us to feel more grounded in the scene with the onomatopoeia(s) you use! 

Remember, these challenges aren’t mandatory! They are meant to be a fun bonus if you’d like to have a little extra challenge. But, if you don’t want to use them, please don’t feel obligated to!

Look at that. The storm let up! Just like I told you it would. Now we just need to get out of these wet clothes.

—Pearce & Kaylie 

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Comments

30 responses to “Writing Group: Can’t Rain All the Time (PRIVATE)”

  1. jesse fisher Avatar
    jesse fisher

    Terrible Day for Rain
    By Jesse Fisher

    The background knows of the ambents of the water flowing. A lone figure sat in the damp grass, slick cloth wicked the falling water away. A face obscured by the hood as they looked out to the field. Each plant was drenched in the rain, yet as the water fell there was a beauty to it. Yet the figure is looking to the sky, angled just so no water reached the inside of the cloak.

    “I heard tales of when the sky was clear and light filled it from the horizons.” The sky filled its eyes. “I can’t imagine such a thing. As far as I can remember the clouds have stayed in the sky and water has fallen.”

    The figure heard the sound of another walk up to them.

    “I remember the sun, the warmth of it on my skin and the feeling of the dry ground.”

    This other figure stood next to the sitting one.

    “Really,” A listless voice lowering their head. “I can’t recall.”

    “Or do you choose not to recall?”

    “The sky was always like this. The sun was hidden from me and the warmth that it held.”

    “Warmth that you deny yourself.”

    “Maybe I just don’t want to get burned by that warmth!”

    At this point the sitting figure looked and saw no one was there, and yet it was only now that the weather had changed. While still gray the sky was beginning to clear, as the rain stopped. Almost as if the weight fell from their shoulders.

  2. Together in the Mud
    By Cansas Wanderlust

    “Alright, let me scan your bracelet. Thank you. What’s your name and date of birth?”

    “Harrison Burnan. December 21st, 1997”

    “Alrighty,” the nurse said looking up from her screen. “Round 2. You guys need anything?”

    I looked at Harry and shook my head.

    “I’ll check in again in a bit.”

    “Thank you,” Harry and I said in unison.

    “By the time we’re done I’m gonna know my name and birthday so well,” Harry chuckled.

    I grunted in acknowledgment. My head pounding to the beat of the meds pumping through the tubes.

    Harry looked at me and sighed. “You were up all night again, weren’t you?”

    I grunted again.

    “The doctors here are some of the best in the country. It’s not up to you alone.”

    Another grunt.

    “Chrissy.” He put his hand on my cheek. “I can’t have you killing yourself trying to save me.”

    I jumped up throwing the chair behind me. “Why not?! Why can’t I do everything in my power to save you? These doctors don’t have my abilities so it’s up to me alone to save you. If it ends up killing me, fine. I could use a good nap.” I ran my fingers across my scalp. “I’ll end up dead if I lose you anyway.”

    Harry looked up at me, crystal eyes shining.

    “What?” I snapped.

    “It just hits me sometimes, how lucky I am to have such a strong and passionate witch to call my wife.”

    I sighed and collapsed back into my chair laying my head on his shoulder. “I just don’t know how much more I can take. I couldn’t save Morana, I wasn’t strong enough to stop the battle in Time Square, now I can’t even cure a stupid human disease. Everytime I try to get back on my feet and focus on the good, something else happens to kick me back in the mud.”

    He wrapped his arms around me and said, “I know. But we will get through this together. The rain can’t last forever. But in the meantime, I’ll stay with you in the mud.”

  3. When The Rain Comes Down (Chronicles of The Dragon: Berri)
    By Makokam

    “Uh… Can I hide under here with you?”

    “Hmm? Well, I wouldn’t call it hiding, but sure.”

    “What would you call it?”

    “Waiting.”

    “Waiting?”

    “Yeah. I’m not afraid of the rain. If it goes on too long I’ll go out get to where I need to go. I just don’t want to get wet. So, for now, I’m waiting.”

    “I…think I’m afraid of getting wet.”

    “Haha. Yeah, getting wet is always worse when you don’t have a warm dry place to go, or clothes to change into. I could show you my favorite shelter. Sometimes they even have new clothes to give out.”

    “You have a favorite shelter?”

    “Yeah… I may be biased because there’s a lady there who’s always nice to me. It’s still a nice shelter though. It’s been a lifesaver since I lost my home.”

    “I was thrown out.”

    “Oh… That’s terrible. I can’t quite relate. My wife left me, and I lost the house in the divorce. I was able to rent a nice apartment, but then I lost my job, and between the alimony and rent, my savings disappeared before I could get a new job.”

    “Do you have a job now?”

    “I do! … Kinda. I signed up with a place that provides labor on a day to day basis. It doesn’t pay much, and some days there’s no job. But I’ve been able to take some classes online at the shelter and a library. So hopefully I can get a new job and start supporting myself again.”

    “I’ve… never had a job. I keep getting bounced around. I found a way into a church tower though. I’ve been sleeping there.”

    “Well, it’s good you have a place to go, but the priests would probably let you stay in the church if you really needed it, or at least shown you to a shelter.”

    “I don’t like staying at shelters… I don’t want people to know where I am.”

    “Ah. I’ve met a few people like that. Life can really beat down on you sometimes. But as they say, can’t rain all the time.”

    1. Ooooo all dialogue! Very well done with that! You do get a really good feel for the differences in their personalities.

      I’m assuming one of them is Berri? Just from them being afraid to get wet, possibly being a cat girl thing as much as a not wanting your clothes to get wet thing. I also think I remember something about Berri staying secretly at a church.

      All things considered though, this was a very interesting back and forth. I do love how not-Berri is clearly going through some stuff but they have a plan and that plan gives them hope for the future which is probably a good thing for ‘Berri’ to hear since it sounds like she’s just… existing at this point. It’s frickin adorable how helpful not-Berri is attempting to be and it makes the story so heartwarming as a result.

      Excellent take on the promp!

  4. MasaCur Avatar
    MasaCur

    Moving On
    By MasaCur

    Nick arrived on the twenty-third floor, and made his way to the Solvent Communications office.

    “Hello, Security.”

    “Ooh, it’s my personal security guard!” Amy called back.

    Nick smiled and shook his head. For some reason, Amy always called for him specifically to escort her to her car when she was working late. His coworkers questioned this, but it was a perfectly innocent arrangement. She must have found him trustworthy

    Truthfully, he didn’t mind. Amy was funny and pretty. Almost as pretty as Molly had been.

    “All finished?”.

    Amy stretched and nodded. “Yeah, the firewall update is compiling. Hopefully nothing goes wrong. I’d hate to have to come back tomorrow to fix it.”

    “You have plans, I take it? Hot date?”

    Amy smirked. “More like D&D with the girls.”

    Nick felt his thought train grind to a halt. Amy didn’t look like the kind of girl that would play Dungeons and Dragons. On the other hand, she didn’t look like the type with an IT job either.

    “What about you?” Amy asked. “Plans for tomorrow night?”

    “Working.”

    Amy’s nose crinkled. “You’re always working. Seriously, I work late two times a month, and not once have you ever been off shift when I called.”

    “It keeps me busy.”

    Amy’s nose crinkled more. “Sounds like you’re avoiding something. What’s wrong?”

    Nick felt a wave of grief flood over him, thinking of Molly losing control of her car. His jaw shuddered.

    “Nick, did I say something wrong?”

    Nick took a deep breath. “Sorry. I’m just…I, uh, I don’t get out much since my…wife…died.”

    “I’m sorry. How long ago was that?”

    Nick blinked away tears. “Um, fourteen months last Friday.”

    Amy shook her head. “That doesn’t sound like you’re just doing this to keep busy. It sounds like you’re trying to avoid dealing with your loss.”

    “I…”

    “No. Nick, you’re going to phone in sick tomorrow, and I’ll skip D&D. And I’m taking you out to dinner.”

    “There are rules against me socializing with an office tenant.”

    Amy got a mischievous grin on her face. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Aww this was a very sweet story!! I am just eating up all the sweetness this week.

      This “personal Security guard” arrangement is really cute, and feels actually quite realistic to something that might actually happen. The whole story feels that way.

      “His coworkers questioned this, but it was a perfectly innocent arrangement.”
      –I’m not sure if this is a critique, or something funny but, the funny thing about using a word like “innocent” in a phrasing like this…actually makes it sound like it’s not innocent at all.
      …I guess the critique aspect comes in that, after this line, when I got to “almost as pretty as Molly had been”…that + “perfectly innocent” + “she must have found him trustworthy”…unfortunately made me wonder if he killed Molly, and was planning to kill Amy too. Having read it completely now, I know that is far from what you intended, and I really hope I’m the only one who read it that way. Nonetheless, I thought I’d mention it in case you found it useful to know.

      “Nick felt his thought train grind to a halt.”
      –Love this phrasing

      “Amy didn’t look like the kind of girl that would play Dungeons and Dragons. On the other hand, she didn’t look like the type with an IT job either.”
      –Looks like we have a few stories this week about not judging a book by its cover!! I like this little detail. Especially because this seems like it will at least blossom into a friendship, if not a romance, it’s neat that he’s able to see her for her, and all her uniqueness.

      Love the nose crinkling image. Very cute and funny.

      I really love the entire ending. Even though I misunderstood at the beginning, I do think you did a great job of helping take us on a journey of understanding what’s going on with Nick, and only revealing later that Molly was his beloved wife I think was quite effective. The idea of keeping yourself busy to avoid something, especially something like loss, is a very relatable and heartfelt message.
      I especially like how it uses the prompt. I don’t know if you intended it, but I see two uses. One being that he is mired in his loss (aka rain) and Amy is showing him sunlight in his life. But there’s also this element that he is constantly working and perhaps it’s own “rain” that Amy is stopping.

      I made this review, and then briefly read the swirling ashes piece (so sad, but very well written), and I definitely think this story stands alone well. I almost think it’s more powerful to be taken along the journey of wondering who Molly is, and learning he’s busier than he should be.

      I’m guessing that Amy is the character you were unsure if you wanted to share this world? I don’t know her well yet, but I think she’s wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing this character who is near and dear to your heart <3

      Wonderful story

    2. That was so sweet! I am such a sucker for wholesome guardian stories when the guarded takes care of their guardian. I love the image of Amy crinkling her nose and how you used it a couple of times each time with a different meaning. I also just love Amy’s character. So few words I’m already in love with the smart and quirky woman she is.

  5. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
    Arith_Winterfell

    “Blossoming Rains” (Alinar Setting)

    By: Arith_Winterfell

    Leana desperately wanted to learn magic, but continued to feel unease about the motives of the traveling mage. Mostly because of his appearance. He wore common gray robes, and the only obvious feature of his heritage was his horns that swept back and seemed to lay in his hair. He was fiend-blooded so of course she was wary about trusting him.

    “Let me show you something.” The fiend-blooded mage whispered in Leana’s ear. “Look!” he said softly as he finished the last gesture of magic.

    The energy weaved itself around her. She turned her eyes to where he pointed, out the door to the falling rain. She watched the wondrous sight as the rain drops slowed down to almost the point of being frozen in place. The droplets fell with gentle beauty beneath the gray skies.

    Leana stepped out in the slowed rain. She reveled in the wonder of it and danced amidst the raindrops. She passed one here. Spun beneath another there. Leaping over a third raindrop as it blossomed on the ground beneath her. Indeed, the water droplets blossomed all around her, on every leaf and blade of grass, into puddles and stones.

    She turned to look back upon the fiend-blooded one and saw he was smiling. Not the sinister smile of someone tricking another, but a genuine smile of someone enjoying something beautiful. She realized he wasn’t smiling at the wonder of the rainfall. Rain flowed normally to him, as she was the only one magically hastened. No, he was smiling because of her.

    To him, she was a blur of steps amidst the rain as she emerged back into the shelter of the barn. Then they sat together in silence, each watching from their different perspectives, the flow of the rain from the heavens till it blossomed on the ground.

    “I want to learn magic,” she said finally.

    “And I will teach it too you,” the fiend-blooded one said with a smile.

    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Aww, this was a really sweet story!! Most of what I’ve read from you lately has been in your sci fi universe, and on the darker side. Those stories are great too, but this was a fun new direction to see you write in!!

      The beginning is very curious because it’s hard to tell if it’s healthy caution, or judging a book by its cover, (…or racism…) or all of the above. Magic is usually very dangerous, and being cautious about jumping into it isn’t a bad thing, but just because he’s a tiefling (?) doesn’t mean he’s evil.

      “and the only obvious feature of his heritage was his horns that swept back and seemed to lay in his hair.”
      –I really like the way you describe this. It’s very easy to imagine

      The description of his magic is beautiful. I can absolutely feel the gentle wonder it would inspire as I read. It reminds me a lot of Katara stopping the rain in the Southern Raiders episode, but here with the exact opposite tone to the scene.

      Though, I will say, “Spun beneath another there. Leaping over a third raindrop as it blossomed on the ground beneath her.” felt like an odd way to describe it? When it’s raining, even if that rain froze in place, the drops are so numerous I don’t feel like you could say you spun beneath one, and leapt over one? You’d be leaping over a ton of them, and hitting a bunch during your jump as well, as I understand it?

      “Not the sinister smile of someone tricking another, but a genuine smile of someone enjoying something beautiful.”
      –This is really cool and sweet

      “she was the only one magically hastened.”
      –This is very interesting. I’m a bit torn on it. On the one hand, I think it’s cool that it initially reads as the rain slowing, only for the reader to realize it’s just her. At the same time, if you meant for it to be clear he was enacting the magic on her from the beginning…I don’t think it was.

      The arc in this story is a simple one, but one that is very touching and easy to follow, and stands alone well–she starts wanting to learn magic, but afraid of her teacher’s appearance, and ends no longer being afraid, and asking for his help.

      Lovely little tale!!

    2. This an interesting story and a beautiful scene.

      I feel like there are some minor issues with it though.

      I do like that he did kind of trick her. Leading her to think he did something to the rain, when the spell was actually cast on her. I suspect she wouldn’t have been okay with him casting magic on her?

  6. All the rain in a day
    By Green
    “is it gonna happen?”

    “Any minute, keep an eye out the window.”

    teaching at this school, you never expected silence on this day. The roar of children when something unique was happening would rival the rush and gush of the water outside. And today, Mrs Margot joined in, multiplying the uproar by ten.

    “Mrs is it true that the sun can make you blind?”

    “Yes Jake, but only if you beat it at a staring contest. It’s very jealous.”

    “Mrs, I’ve heard you’re from Earth, you’ve probably seen the Sun loads, right?”

    “Shut up, Bobby. There’s no way Mrs is from Earth, she’s always lived here. Besides everyone knows the sun doesn’t actually exist.”

    a prevailing theory of every seven-year-old on Venus.

    “Martin! That’s not very nice. Of course, the sun exists. You’ll see it soon!” raising her voice she then called “Then back to class for times tables!”

    The class booed back, but she didn’t listen. remembering instead her first day with Sun on the planet.

    ************************************

    “No! Please!”

    she bashed against the cupboard door at the back of the classroom.

    “Please! William! Please, let me out!” tears pouring down her little face.

    “No! Please, I can’t miss it” she sobbed. “ Please!”

    Falling to her knees, she cursed this horrible soggy planet full of bullies. all of them calling her a liar for believing in the bright yellow penny in the sky.

    For seven years it rained here, showing the sun for only two hours. it was her last chance to feel something of home, of Earth.

    And she was going to miss it.

    Slowly the deluge began again.

    with a kerchunk, the cupboard opened.

    “I’m so sorry, Margot…” her classmates apologised.
    William is out front, tears in his eyes as well.

    “We didn’t know…”

    ************************************

    The constant tatting drum of the school’s tin roof had pattered to a standstill.

    The children escaped into the warming mud, already making castles and memories in the clay.

    Margot, sat watching them. holding hands with a handsome young man, his right shoulder covered in a bright yellow penny tattoo.

    “I love you William” she whispered.

    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Before I begin my actual review…you should know that your story is 4 words over the limit, and also has a formatting issue with some story being included in the title section. Eligibility might not be something you’re worried about this week, since you were read last week, but I wanted to make sure you were aware for future reference!

      Anyways, on to the review!

      Wow, I am extremely impressed by how much you were able to pack into such a short time frame!! It’s always risky to do multiple scenes in a tale foundry piece, and I think you executed it quite well!! The structure of present – memory – present worked really well, and flowed without me being confused at all. You also were able to make a story equal parts cute and silly, and heartfelt and emotional. I applaud you!!

      “Yes Jake, but only if you beat it at a staring contest. It’s very jealous.”
      –What an adorable way to say this to a kid!!

      “Mrs, I’ve heard you’re from Earth, you’ve probably seen the Sun loads, right?”
      –Immediately this line changes everything, and adds so much intrigue to the story. It does this in a way that feels perfectly fitting to the world, and doesn’t feel like you’re just saying it for the audience’s sake. It’s great.

      I do have a couple minor critiques here. The next line (“Shut up, Bobby.”) doesn’t have a dialogue tag, so it seems like Margot is talking, which is a bit jarring at first. (Though the line is hilarious).

      Also, I think “Missus” is how you use that word as a title by itself? I’ve only ever seen Mrs. come before a name.

      “a prevailing theory of every seven-year-old on Venus.”
      –I love this way of showing the world to us. So cute and creative. You tell us where they are, what age they are, and how most people (at least kids) think here on Venus, all in a single line that fits well.

      “Falling to her knees, she cursed this horrible soggy planet full of bullies. all of them calling her a liar for believing in the bright yellow penny in the sky.
      For seven years it rained here, showing the sun for only two hours. it was her last chance to feel something of home, of Earth.
      And she was going to miss it.”
      –Once again, I love you you show the world to the audience. It just feels so natural and like you’re being pulled along for the ride, given the right information at the right time. “This horrible, soggy planet full of bullies” has a great storybook cadence to it as well.
      At first this story looked like it’d be just cute and silly, the fact that you added some real emotion to it was an unexpected and lovely surprise!! That “And she was going to miss it.” is just a few words, but it packs so much emotion into it. Even though this story is about schoolchildren on Venus, it feels relatable. I feel like most everyone has felt homesick at some point, and I know how that feels to be grasping at one ray of hope that will make life feel more manageable….and how horrible it is to miss it.

      “The constant tatting drum of the school’s tin roof had pattered to a standstill.”
      –I can hear this so well! It’s also really cool the present scene is the exact reverse of the memory, where she heard the rain start up again

      “The children escaped into the warming mud, already making castles and memories in the clay.”
      –The warming mud is another image I can feel well. But, “making castles and memories” oh my gosh I LOVE that phrasing!!

      I do have to confess, I am a little lost when it comes to William. In the memory scene, I’m not sure what information they were missing. Margot didn’t say aloud that she was from Earth, so it doesn’t seem like there’s new information they were given…yet they say they didn’t know something?
      And it seems like they were bullying her, so, even if they just now learned she was from earth…why would that make them stop bullying her?
      And, then, at the end, is William meant to be her husband? That’s super cute, and I love it, if so. But I think it’s a bit confusing because it was not introduced earlier that there was another adult in the room, and she’s at her job teaching…which doesn’t feel like where her husband would normally be? Unless he’s also a teacher of a different class that also went to play outside? It feels like there were a couple steps I missed in understanding the ending.

      Regardless, this story was awesome, and so creative, and I really wish I could read it on stream!!

    2. When I read the prompt I Was hoping to see a story like this! And you did not disappoint! I think my only complaint is I wish there was more! But alas the word count wouldn’t allow. I love the setting I love the quick little flash back. You also incorporated the prompt both literally and figuratively which I love!

  7. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
    i-prefer-the-term-antihero

    [DM me on Discord for details!]

    1. MasaCur Avatar
      MasaCur

      This was pretty interesting. I know Savion never wanted to become a human, so it’s interesting that Savion just can’t deal with it, and breaks down sobbing. Even more so that he doesn’t understand what’s happening, or how to make it stop. There’s some great descriptions in here, not just of how things look, but how Savion himself perceives them. Human hands are white spiders. His limbs are like the legs of an insect. I feel for both him and Lestair trying to comfort him, but not really knowing how. It’s so well done, Kaylie.

    2. Awwww, poor wolf boys! I swear, you see them in a hospital setting and you just know that drama is coming in hard.

      That said, this was an incredibly powerful read! It makes me wonder what Lestair’s transformation was like since he actually wanted it but I’m sure there’s still things he missed. You don’t really think about it but it does have to be a shock to be in a body that you don’t recognize and know that it will be your body whether you like it or not, for the rest of your ‘immortal’ life.

      The fact that Savion is grieving himself in a way is such an interesting concept and it makes all the sense in the world. As does him trying to force wolf reactions on his body and getting frustrated when human reactions come out. Part of the power of this piece is just how relatable it is. We rarely want to cry but we accept that it’s part of the human condition. But if that condition is alien to us, it would be horrible.

      And speaking of horrors, I adore that he sees his hands as pale spiders and his sorrow as scorpions behind his eyes. It makes something so normal to us seem so horrifying when you’re seeing it through Savion’s lenses. You can’t NOT feel for him here and that’s the main strength of this story. It’s written in such a visceral way that you really feel it, so I have to say well done.

      An excellent take on the prompt! Thanks for sharing!

    3. This story reminded me of how interesting it would be to see all the little moments where Savion learns that something he hated about humans was something uncontrollably human. A “don’t attribute malice to what can be attributed to stupidity” sort of moment. Or to, ironically, start seeing all the shades of gray in human actions.

      I like the comparison to spiders for his hands, but I’m not sure about scorpions. It’s certainly visceral, but my mind stepped away from the story to wonder “why scorpions?”

      I loved the idea that Lestair will help him learn how to be human, or least he’s the one he goes to. Who else could he go to? I know Victor will help with these things, but Lestair transformed not that long ago (or very recently) so Lestair would have had to learn these things himself in recent memory, and would best be able to explain how to do, or stop doing, human things.

      I liked the use of the prompt as it felt very literal, but also metaphorical. Interesting how that works sometimes.

  8. Glaceon373 Avatar
    Glaceon373

    The… Least-Concerning Proposal This Year? (Students of the DiamondBridge Academy universe)
    by Carrie (Glaceon373)

    With a thunk of a three-inch stack of paper hitting the table, Acting Principal Nicklescribe cleared his throat. “I’ve had an idea, and I’m sure you’ll all appreciate it!”

    Judging by the amount of empty chairs in the faculty meeting room, much of the staff of the DiamondBridge Academy hadn’t appreciated the measly half-hour warning of the meeting being called. Mrs. Tizip had brought a notebook, Dr. K had his arms folded, and Prof. Paqulamar was the picture-perfect example of an attentive listener.

    “It’s part fundraiser, part school spirit-lifter, and I’m positive the students will just love it!” From the top of the stack, Nicklescribe plucked some papers and passed them around. “I believe it’s time for the school to sponsor some friendly competition, don’t you think? A simple game of defense and offense where our students can test their practical skills in a safe and controlled environment. ‘Capture the Flag’ is the working title, by the way: if any of you have a better idea, please let me know.”

    He smiled a wide, closed-mouth smile.

    “Question,” Mrs. Tizip said, staring at the paper. “How ‘safe and controlled’ is this environment, exactly?”

    “And you’ve scheduled it for next Saturday,” Dr. K stated. “It will rain that day, and there is a full moon that night. Would you like to reschedule?”

    “And will the teachers get to play?” asked Prof. Paqulamar.

    “Relax! Relax,” Nicklescribe laughed. “I’ll handle the fine details, no worries. And we have weather-shielding spells, yes? Also, Paqulamar, while this is really for the students, I was actually hoping you would be willing to have a larger role in this project, if you wish…?”

    Paqulamar smiled. “Yes. I would.”

    “Wonderful! That’s all for today. Meeting adjourned!”

    Nicklescribe took his stack of papers and left the room in a flourish.

    “Out of all the past pitches of his,” Tizip mused, “this seems like it might not be terrible. For once.”

    K nodded. “If he’s being honest with us, this could actually succeed.”

    “And if he isn’t? Well…” Paqulamar cracked a confident smile. “He just let me do something about it.”

    1. MasaCur Avatar
      MasaCur

      Okay, I’m kind of curious as to what Nicklescribe has going here. Maybe it’s just because so many of the previous stories featuring him have led me to believe that he had some scheme going, and this is probably the same. I just can’t trust him. And it sounds like the other members of the DiamondBridge faculty don’t either. Anyway, I rather enjoyed this story, Carrie.

    2. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      “With a thunk of a three-inch stack of paper hitting the table, Acting Principal Nicklescribe cleared his throat. “I’ve had an idea, and I’m sure you’ll all appreciate it!”
      –Why is this already so funny to me?!?!
      This feels like “I have an idea and I’ve decided to make it everyone else’s problem.” and that kinda feels like who Nicklescribe is all the time XD

      “It’s part fundraiser, part school spirit-lifter,”
      –The cadence of this is great
      “and I’m positive the students will just love it!”
      –Spoken like someone who has no idea what students actually like XD

      It is so freaking funny to me that the others are like “Hmm is this safe? It’s suspicious that it seems fine.” And then Paqualamar is like “Question: Do we or do we not get to conquer a bunch of teenagers on the playground?”

      I had to stop jotting down lines I liked because every line was either making me laugh, or making me want to. And I don’t laugh aloud at written comedy a lot, so that’s a big compliment!!
      But every image built hilariously on the next. Nicklescribe overdramatically introducing his idea, only for the room to be mostly empty, the fact that it seemed like Paqualamar was into it, to it being suspiciously innocent was all just fantastic.

      I love that “can’t rain all the time” in this case was “he can’t be evil all the time” or “once in a while he has a good idea” XD

      Always love seeing how your world works. In the first place, it’s curious they know it *will* rain, not that it *might* and then the spells they have to deal with it.
      Also that they don’t have capture the flag yet in your world.

      Though, I don’t know if this is a critique or just personal preference, but I think it would have been funnier if he called it something adjacent/full of synonyms, like “I’m calling it ‘Nab the Banner’ right now but I’m open to suggestions” XD

      Also, the meeting seemed to go by very fast. I was kinda expecting there to be a timeskip at the end as they talked logistics, skipping forward to them exiting the room. Was this a word count thing or would the meeting really go so fast in canon?

      Wonderful story!!

  9. Fog Wall Avatar
    Fog Wall

    In Decision
    ~Fog Wall

    James placed my bowl on a table as he joined me. Using the toe of his boot he pulled a chair half-way out and took a seat at the table I just broke. “Calm down and talk to me. Koelle, what’s bothering you?”

    I met his eyes; they were sleepy pools of gray that stole my anger away. “James, why did you join me that day? Why accept my offer?”

    He blinked and glanced down at my still clenched fist before answering. He gave a yawn and lazily scratched his scalp. “Well, I had no direction before. I was studying to be a bioelectrical engineer, but the schooling was too expensive. Something like twenty-five million haal for the ten year program. Working at that media firm was only like five hundred haal a week.”

    This was a frustrating feeling. To be torn between the life I dreamt of and the found family that took me in… I fell back into my seat. “Back when I was a kid living in the alleys, I promised myself that I would never steal from anyone.”

    “And now that’s your job. To steal from the rich and powerful for the benefit of thousands who deserve a better existence.”

    His voice was sharp and his words felt like needles piercing my heart. “That’s right.” I told him with a whispered pause. “I owe this place and these people my life though. They saved me when I had no one to rely on.” I told him, feeling the contempt of my predicament come back in full force.

    He must have seen something change in my expression, because he leaned forward onto the busted table. “Koelle, you’ve done plenty for them and I’m sure, if they’re your family, they’d understand and support your decision to leave.”

    My heart skipped a beat as clarity washed over me, quickly but not completely erasing my contemplation. “You’re right, I guess.”

    “After that close call you had… I think some real change will do you well, Sis. Not every day’s a rainy one.”

    I smiled, “Today’ll be sunny.”

    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      *Reads the first few lines* Oooh a sequel!! *Hunkers down further into my chair*

      I like the image of him pulling up a chair with his toe. Very vivid.

      “sleepy pools of gray”
      –Pretty image!

      “James, why did you join me that day? Why accept my offer?”
      –Now *this*…this is interesting. I was actually wondering when I read the prequel if it was James who made her feel this way. It did seem like he was the major variable.

      “Back when I was a kid living in the alleys, I promised myself that I would never steal from anyone.”
      “And now that’s your job. To steal from the rich and powerful for the benefit of thousands who deserve a better existence.”
      –This is also really interesting. I know what it feels like (to a lesser extent) to promise yourself something…and then break it. It is a gross feeling–it feels like you’re betraying yourself.
      I do wonder how that change occurred, though. If it was just being taken in to a warm bed, or if it was something more.
      I do have the same question that I had for the prequel though: why does she take issue with stealing from the rich to help the people who are in the same position she used to be in?

      “Koelle, you’ve done plenty for them and I’m sure, if they’re your family, they’d understand and support your decision to leave.”
      –This is also a really interesting idea. She’s agonizing over leaving her family but…if they really *are* her family, that’s exactly why they’d understand that she needs to leave. If they try to force her to stay…wouldn’t that mean they’re not the found family she thinks they are?

      The ending was also very cute.

      I have a few critiques, but I think the main one worth mentioning has to do with the continuity of a specific part:
      So, Koelle says:
      “James, why did you join me that day? Why accept my offer?”
      –As stated before, I absolutely love this line, and the emotion packed into it, and I’m so excited to read on…but then James’ response…doesn’t seem to fit the question, and (after her wonderfully exciting emotional question) is (to me) very un-engaging.
      Her question seemed rhetorical; she’s not literally asking why he accepted her offer, she’s expressing frustration that his presence made her aware she doesn’t like her life. His literal response seems extra odd due to how long it goes on for, and how…I can’t think of the right word…technical? analytical? it is. This might be intentional: James might be an obtuse/very logical character who usually answers things literally. But he seems to be more emotionally in-tune as the story goes on.
      Then Koelle’s next bit of narration (“This was a frustrating feeling. To be torn between the life I dreamt of and the found family that took me in…”) doesn’t have anything to do with Jame’s response. So his incongruous response breaks up the flow considerably, and detracts from the emotional heart of the piece, in my opinion.

      Overall, I have much the same feelings towards this story as it’s prequel–that I really like the ideas it brings up, and the questions it puts in my head about Koelle’s character!! Great job!!

      1. Fog Wall Avatar
        Fog Wall

        I sorta felt the same way with the break in emersion and I did try to curb that feeling the best I could. I was primarily using this as a break to explore Koelle’s inner termoil. We won’t be leaving the speakeasy anytime too soon.

    2. Awww this is such a cute story! I do love seeing more of James and Koelle. And I love how you started the story. You let us know immediately that Koelle is furious and James is that calming, albeit sleepy, voice who’s there for her.

      Some of the back and forth is a little clunky but it does get the job done. You get that something clearly happened on a mission that’s making Koelle doubt whether she wants to be involved with it anymore and she’s worried about how her new family will take her leaving.

      I do like that James points out that if they really care for her then they’ll want what’s best for her. It makes the ending that much more sweet. You do feel the bond between them the whole piece and that drives everything forward.

      Great story and looking forward to more! Thanks for sharing!

  10. If You Keep On Believing, A Dream That You Wish Will Come True
    By Marx

    “I’m sick of this!” Ella shouted, petulantly stomping her little feet. “I’m sick of all these stupid demons! I wanna go outsiiiiiiiiiiii-yeeeeeede”

    Cindy sighed. “I know this isn’t fair, child. But it–”

    “–won’t always be this way.” Ella mocked, stomping to her bed, arms crossed and lip poked out. “That’s what you always say…”

    “…Do you remember the man who brought me to you?”

    “…the scary man with the black eyes?”

    “Yes.” Cindy chuckled. “He’s doing everything in his power to fix this world. And the demons think he’s scary too. I promise you child, this won’t last forever.”

    There was silence as Ella stopped actively complaining, but Cindy frowned as the little girl kept sulking. That was when inspiration hit Cindy and she began casting a spell in her mind. “You know… he stopped by earlier today with a gift.”

    Ella’s attention immediately snapped to Cindy. “…gift?”

    Cindy reached behind her, finishing the spell and brought forth the conjured pair of transparent slippers.

    Ella’s eyes bulged as she let out a tiny squeal. “Are those–?”

    “He found them for me. Would you like to try them on?”

    Cindy had never seen the little girl move so quickly in her life. In a flash, Ella was on the floor and slipping her feet into the slippers, which shrank to fit. With more subtle spellcasting, Cindy conjured the illusion of an elegant blue ball dress and the tiara to match.

    “Eeeeeeeeeee!” Ella screamed as she twirled and then ran for her mother at the door. “Mommy! Mommy! I’m a princess!”

    Her mother chuckled with a wide grin. “You look beautiful, sweetheart. Why don’t you show your father?”

    “Daddy! DADDYYYYYYY!”

    The two women watched Ella run down the hall before the mother gave Cindy a look. “They aren’t actually made of glass, are they?”

    “Of course not.”

    “Didn’t you say your slippers were gold?”

    Cindy nodded. “She prefers the glass slipper version.”

    “She does.” Ella’s mother chuckled, before her amusement fell. “Can your friend really stop all this madness?”

    “He can.” Cindy replied, looking out the window. “He will.”

    1. Fog Wall Avatar
      Fog Wall

      This is down right adorable! In a world of magic and demons and grandios battles of good verses evil, To have a scene so wholesomely small in scope… It’s a welcomed sight to see.

      I didn’t have any hangups or issues while reading this either, so I’d say it looks and reads very well. Excellent story, Marx.

      1. Thank you so much! I wanted to try to do something small and adorable since the prompt was likely to lend itself to more moody pieces. I’m really glad you liked it!

    2. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Another cute and fun and sightly ominous Cinderella story from you!! XD

      “I’m sick of all these stupid demons! I wanna go outsiiiiiiiiiiii-yeeeeeede”
      –First of all, the spelling of the last word is top notch
      Secondly, there’s something hilarious about a kid being like “ugh I’m sick of all these demons!”
      It makes me think of an ad being like “Are YOU sick of demons at your door? Have no fear of Shub-Niggurath, call your friendly neighborhood horseman of death!” XD

      “…the scary man with the black eyes?”
      –0_0 From what I’ve seen, Matt doesn’t look scary (to the average person) unless something has gone very wrong.
      …Did his eyes get stuck black one day or something?

      “And the demons think he’s scary too”
      –Love this. Have you ever watched the Girl in the Fireplace episode of Doctor Who? Because it makes me think of some of my favorite lines from it.

      “There was silence as Ella stopped actively complaining,”
      –There’s something hilarious about the emphasis on *actively* complaining, showing that she for sure is passively complaining before you say it directly XD

      “There was silence as Ella stopped actively complaining, but Cindy frowned as the little girl kept sulking. That was when inspiration hit Cindy and she began casting a spell in her mind.”
      –It didn’t hit me as much the second time, but I do have to critique this part a bit. There is a lot happening in one sentence, from different subjects (silence from the room, complaining stopping from Ella, frowning from Cindy, sulking from Ella), and the “there was silence” + “that was when” + “began casting” (while not necessarily bad on their own) don’t help with that. I think something like “Ella stopped actively complaining, but continued sulking. Cindy frowned, but, after a moment” (or “while watching her sulk”) “inspiration hit her. She began casting a spell in her mind.” might be better? …I’m not sure, the more I type this out, the more I’m second guessing myself XD

      What does it mean that she cast a spell in her mind? How does that work?

      “You know… he stopped by earlier today with a gift.”
      –Is she only saying this because she knows Ella will receive it better from Matt? Why would she if she finds him scary?

      “Daddy! DADDYYYYYYY!”
      –So freaking cute and accurate

      “They aren’t actually made of glass, are they?”
      “Of course not.”
      –Of course mom’s worried about safety XD What are they made of?

      “Didn’t you say your slippers were gold?”
      Cindy nodded. “She prefers the glass slipper version.”
      –Very cute

      “Can your friend really stop all this madness?”
      “He can.” Cindy replied, looking out the window. “He will.”
      –Me: *pained laughter* “Yeah, he will stop the madness alright…*because everyone will be dead*”

      Very cute story!!

    3. “He can and he will” is absolutely a true statement. However, whether there will be anything left for Cindy and Ella to stand on after the fact remains to be seen.

      It just occurred to me that it’d be interesting to see Matt do something like MK1, where things are similar, but different. Raiden is the shaolin monk now, Scorpion and Sub-Zero are brothers, and Mileena is the princess, for example. Perhaps he could remake the world and Cindy and Ella are siblings, his own parents live, and Terriana is widely known and beloved.

      I do love Cindy making the shoes and dress for Ella to distract/cheer her. And the conversation at the end.

      1. It all depends on which apocalypse ends up happening. Though it is funny how you said the MK1 ending because YES! That is 100% how one of the apocalypses end. Matt destroys everything and rewrites it better for those he’s interacted with. Well… except, Alex and even then, it isn’t as bad as he probably deserves. He’s just trapped in Hell as a torturer, but he doesn’t get to pick his targets. So he’s very good at the job but he’s miserable doing it because there’s no “fun”.

        I’m very glad you liked the story! Thanks for the review!

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