Writing Group: The Flesh Horse (PRIVATE)

Hello Devout Worshippers and Horrified Newcomers!

I hope you have your heads bowed and your minds untethered from reality. In light of what happened last Saturday on the stream…

This week’s Writing Group prompt is:

The Flesh Horse

RULES AND GUIDELINES BELOW!
Make sure you scroll down and read them if you haven’t! You may not be eligible if you don’t!

It all began one April afternoon last year, when Arith Winterfell graced us with a story of a dream, a hallway, and a horse made of flesh. Not to be confused with ordinary horses—this was something far more spooky and sinister; dead flesh crawling along the floor, coalescing into the form of a horse. A dream. A vision. An eldritch revelation. (Here is the link to that story: “At the Nexus,” written for the End of the Hallway—the first Flesh Horse story. And the second canon story Arith wrote about The Flesh Horse for Hour of the Wolf “Things Unseen“).

I don’t remember what got us all attached to the idea of the Flesh Horse, but we certainly did, proceeding to mention it in subsequent streams, and the streams after that, until we mentioned it almost every stream. All the while adding to its lore, creating stories about The Flesh Horse, and terrifying the new arrivals with our devotion. 

I’ve been talking about making it a prompt, and better yet an April Fools prompt, for a while now, and it’s finally here! It’s time to pour all your admiration and horror into your stories this week. 

Now’s the time to write those stories you joked about during the stream, about the Flesh Horse fending off lag goblins, of watching our streams, or flitting in and out of universes to dine on the best of BBQ, roasts, and human sanity. 

If you are someone who writes all their stories in the same universe, you could have The Flesh Horse grace your universe—whether as something canon to your world, or an AU. I’d love to read about how your personal characters would react to the character we’ve been collectively discussing and joking about all these months. The Flesh Horse is an eldritch being after all; it might not even appear in the fleshy, horsey form we’ve come to know and love. You’ll just have to make it clear it is The Flesh Horse somehow.  

If you find yourself completely at a loss for how to use THE Flesh Horse in your story, you could easily write about a generic horse, or generic horse’s flesh. You could even make the joke we often make on the stream “Aren’t ALL horses’ flesh horses?” in your story. Or you could write about a dead horse, such as one who fell in a battle. Or you could write about a place where horse flesh is considered a delicacy. Perhaps a talking horse gets hurt during a race and tells their jockey “Tis but a flesh wound!” 

You could even write about flesh and a horse as separate things, but together in one story, finding some way to connect them. Such as a horse getting disgusted by seeing the flesh of a dead animal on the side of the road. Or a horse bucking off a rider, and the rider saying something like “You cut my flesh, Horse!” 

Now, do keep in mind that The Flesh Horse was Arith Winterfell’s original idea, and ultimately belongs to him—our stories are more like fanfiction of his character. If you are concerned with making sure the Flesh Horse is accurate to canon, or simply want to make sure you are being respectful of his character, you can feel free to contact Arith himself. 

I do also want to call attention to something The Flesh Horse itself mentioned last Saturday: we do still have guidelines. This prompt very much lends itself to gore, horror, and death, but your stories are still meant to be “safe for work” and will still be disqualified if they break this rule. If you are ever unsure if your story breaks the rules, don’t hesitate to contact me to give it another look. 

Also, if you decide to create art of The Flesh Horse, especially this week, tag me!

No challenge for this week. I think this prompt is challenge enough. 

Now, go forth, my friends. Run to the edge of the known universe, fall into another. Gaze into the abyss. But don’t be surprised when gazes back. Or tries to eat your fingers.

—Kaylie & Paul

Remember, this is part of our weekly Writing Group stream! Submit a little piece following the rules and guidelines below, and there’s a chance your entry will be read live on stream! In addition, we’ll discuss it for a minute and give you some feedback.

Tune into the stream this Saturday at 3:00pm CST to see if you made the cut!

The whole purpose of this is to show off the creativity of the community, while also helping each other to become better writers. Lean into that spirit! Get ready not just to share what you’ve got, but to give back to the other writers here as well.

Rules and Guidelines

We read at least five stories during each stream, two of which come from the public post, and three of which come from the much smaller private post. Submissions are randomly selected by a bot, but likes on your post will improve your chances of selection, so be sure to share your submission on social media!

  1. Text and Formatting

    1. English only.
    2. Prose only, no poetry or lyrics.
    3. Use proper spelling, grammar, and syntax.
    4. Your piece must be between 250-350 words (you can use this website to see your wordcount).
    5. Use two paragraph breaks between each paragraph so that they have a proper space between them (press “enter” or “return” twice).
    6. Include a submission title and an author name (doesn’t have to be your real name). Do not include any additional symbols or flourishes in this part of your submission. Format them exactly as you see in this example, or your submission may not be eligible: Example Submission.
    7. No additional text styling (such as italics or bold text). Do not use asterisks, hyphens, or any other symbol to indicate whether text should be bold, italic, or styled in any other way. CAPS are okay, though.
  2. What to Submit

    1. Keep submissions “safe-for-work”; be sparing with sexuality, violence, and profanity.
    2. Try to focus on making your submission a single meaningful moment rather than an entire story.
    3. Write something brand new; no re-submitting past entries or pieces written for other purposes
    4. No fan fiction whatsoever. Take inspiration from whatever you’d like, but be transformative and creative with it. By submitting, you also agree that your piece does not infringe on any existing copyrights or trademarks, and you have full license to use it.
    5. Submissions must be self-contained (everything essential to understanding the piece is contained within the context of the piece itself—no mandatory reading outside the piece required. e.g., if you want to write two different pieces in the same setting or larger narrative, you cannot rely on information from one piece to fill in for the other—they must both give that context independently).
  3. Submission Rules

    1. One submission per participant.
    2. Submit your entry in a comment on this post.
    3. Submissions close at 12:00pm CST each Friday.
    4. You must like and leave a review on two other submissions to be eligible. Your reviews must be at least 50 words long, and must be left directly on the submission you are reviewing, not on another comment. If you’re submitting to the private post, feel free to leave these reviews on either the private or the public post. The two submissions you like need not be the same as the submissions you review.
    5. Be constructive and uplifting. These submissions are not for a professional market, and shouldn’t be treated as such. We do this, first and foremost, for the joy of the craft. Help other writers to feel like their work is valuable, and be considerate and gentle with critique when you offer it. Authors who leave particularly abrasive or disheartening remarks on this post will be disqualified from selection for readings.
    6. Use the same e-mail for your posts, reviews, and likes, or you may be rendered ineligible (you may change your username or author name between posts without problem, however).
    7. You may submit to either or both the public/private groups if you have access, but if you decide to submit to both, only the private group submission will be eligible.
    8. Understand that by submitting here, you are giving us permission to read your submission aloud live on stream and upload public, archived recordings of said stream to our social media platforms. You will always be credited, but only by the author name you supply as per these rules. No other links or attributions are guaranteed.

Comments on this post that aren’t submissions will be deleted, except for replies/reviews left on existing submissions.


Comments

71 responses to “Writing Group: The Flesh Horse (PRIVATE)”

  1. vellichorian Avatar
    vellichorian

    A Real Horse
    by vellichorian

    Amelia couldn’t sleep. She wasn’t scared of the dark. No. She just had too many thoughts in her head, trying to figure out how to convince her parents to get her a pony for her sixth birthday. She squeezed Astrid, her favorite plush pony, ran her fingers through its yarn mane, and looked out the window.

    “Look, Astrid, there’s the wishing star. Maybe if I wished you were a real horse, the Blue Fairy could help!”

    She hugged Astrid to her chin and closed her eyes. “Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. Please make Astrid a real horse!”

    A breeze blew. A cloud of lime green glitter drifted in, forming the shape of a short, round woman with tiny wings. She lost her balance and fell, landing on her bottom with a soft bump.

    “Oof!” said the fairy.

    “Who are you?” asked Amelia.

    “The Green Fairy.”

    Amelia frowned. “I thought the Blue Fairy granted wishes.”

    “She’s on vacation. I’m filling in.”

    “A substitute fairy? Never heard of one.”

    The fairy snorted. “Right then.” She swirled her wand in the air. “Wishing stars are real of course. Make this toy a full-size horse!”

    Green glitter surrounded Astrid. She grew to the right size but was still fabric and fluff.

    “Not like that!” Amelia protested.

    The fairy tried again, “Now I come to grant your wish. Turn this animal into flesh!”

    The glitter returned. Astrid’s plush exterior morphed into a grotesque, slimy surface that was not quite skin, but not quite meat.

    Amelia screamed. The fairy gasped.

    “Turn her back!” Amelia shouted.

    With a flick of the wand, Astrid returned to normal.

    “Third time’s a charm,” the fairy mused. She raised her wand again.

    “No!” Amelia interrupted. “I take my wish back. I like Astrid just how she is!”

    The fairy, head hanging low, dematerialized back into glitter and drifted toward the window, leaving a small bit behind. It formed into a small leather saddle and bridle, just the right size for Astrid.

    1. This piece was so fun and wholesome! At first I thought the Green Fairy was going to be malicious or something, but I love that she was just an inept stand-in. I was definitely not expecting the turns this story took, but I loved them. I like that you managed to weave in the terror of the flesh horse without ruining the upbeat atmosphere you had established for the piece. Very well done!

      1. vellichorian Avatar
        vellichorian

        Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it.

    2. MasaCur Avatar

      So, first thought at the Green Fairy showing up is the personification of wormwood intoxication, most commonly attributed (falsely I may add) to the consumption of absinthe. Not that I think that Amelia would have been drinking, but that, “Hey, the Blue Fairy is on holiday, let’s get the fairy of drunken hallucinations to fill in for her. How bad could it be?” And, maybe, given how badly the Green Fairy does at trying to fulfil Amelia’s wish to turn Astrid into a real horse, maybe this theory isn’t so weird after all.
      Anyway, this was a fun, wholesome story to read, Vellichorian. It brought a genuine smile to my face.

      1. vellichorian Avatar
        vellichorian

        Thanks for the kind words! I really wish I’d been clever enough to think of the absinthe angle. 🙂

    3. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
      Arith_Winterfell

      I just had to tell you, I laughed heartily at Amelia screaming in horror at the Flesh Horse her toy horse turned into. It was hilarious! And it had a sweet adorable ending with the saddle. What more could you ask for? Dark humor and sweet adorable ending. I too appreciate plushies! XD

  2. WolfsbaneX Avatar
    WolfsbaneX

    “The Sanguine Peaks Pooka”
    By Hemming Sebastian Bane

    The carriage came to a sudden stop on the perilous mountain road, the torrent casting a mist over the conifers. The dunnie in the driver’s seat pulled the goat fur raincoat to his face and cursed his luck. The driver dismounted and approached the dog team that had frozen in their tracks. Grass knotted around the dogs’ paws, holding them firm. Their hackles raised in alarm as they both stared into the mist. Lightning flashed and the dunnie swore he could see something standing in the road.

    The door to the carriage flew open with a bang that rivaled thunder. The driver whipped around as a squat dwarven man with slick red hair and a braided beard poked his head out the carriage doorway.

    “Fatmir! Why have we stopped?” shouted the passenger, his eyes piercing the driver with an impatient glare.

    “I don’t know, viscount,” Fatmir replied, his equine hoof pawing the muddy ground. “This rain is taking a toll on my dogs unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Perhaps we should—”

    “We should what? Make camp in the pouring rain? Head back the way we came?”

    The dwarf continued to speak, but the roar of the rain against the forest floor boomed in Fatmir’s ears. The driver looked at his passenger with concern, but the viscount seemed ignorant of what was happening.

    “Faaaaaatmiiiiiiiir,” a voice came.

    The dunnie felt a chill crawl down his spine. With a start, he turned to see who was speaking. The thing standing in the road walked closer, still shrouded in mist. The dogs began to howl and growl and bray and whimper.

    “What is it?” Fatmir asked them before turning to the mist. “Show yourself!”

    The dunnie reached for the pepperbox gun on the back of his belt. The figure trotted into view. Four blood-covered hooves and legs of bone strode proudly into the opening. Gore seeped from the road and fell up into the wet sinewy body and pulsating organs. Its equine head cleaved itself in twain in the mockery of a sideways jaw.

    “Faaaaatmiiiiiiiiir, you trespass. Leave me an offering or die.”

    1. Revisis Avatar

      Ayyy a fellow ‘obscured by weather and mist’ enjoyer!

      I like your choice of utilizing the ‘its flesh moves on its own’ aspect of the horse, and the slow, ominous and very cinematic apperance of it.

      Curious if the Horse demands tribute from anyone on this road, for if Fatmir specifically managed to annoy it xD

      I hope the dogs make it out!

      Small crinkle: You maybe overused the word “the” a bit. Otherwise, stellar work!

    2. vellichorian Avatar
      vellichorian

      You used a lot of vivid visual and audio descriptions in this piece. The storm seems very intense, and I believe that the setting hides some danger. I especially enjoyed how the carriage’s passenger is so self important that he is completely oblivious to the menacing supernatural events unfolding.

      I have one question: What physical form does the dunnie have? You mention him sitting in the driver’s seat of a carriage being pulled by a dog team and wearing a coat, so I initially imagined a smallish humanoid creature, but you later mention equine hooves. I’m not sure exactly how to picture him. Is he more like a satyr?

      Regardless, you built tension effectively in the piece, and the flesh horse works even outside the context of the prompt.

    3. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
      Arith_Winterfell

      Nice and dark! Certianly to my taste. Also I mentally started chanting: “Throw him under the bus!” (with regards to the Viscount and Flesh Horse’s demands for offering). A good and dark piece! Well done! 🙂

  3. WriterOfThought Avatar
    WriterOfThought

    Revelation 6:5-6
    WriterOfThought

    Jynn swore that if she had to remain in this land for another minute, she would vomit all over it.

    Nothing made sense here. Nothing had could calm Jynn’s nerves when even the air seemed to wriggle.

    So many things were writhing in Jynn’s vision that she nearly believed herself to be hallucinating. But her other senses backed up what her eyes told her: the land was moving.

    Desperately trying to hold back the motion sickness, Jynn knelt down, doing what she could to attain a point of meditation despite the world undulating around her. The violet firmament she knelt on even seemed to breathe. Jynn had to collect herself.

    Before she could even achieve the meditative headspace, the ground rumbled and bubbled, as if it were boiling. Ahead of her emerged a beast, as if it had been inside the earth the entire time and merely had to shed its disguise. Jynn tried to look at it, but her brain refused to categorize what she was seeing.

    It had the shape of the most slender racehorse, and yet it possessed silky wings as graceful as a butterfly. The face remained hidden behind a veil, and it was the same indigo hue of the land around it.

    All of these were simple enough to comprehend, but no part of the creature was ever still. Every part of it wriggled and writhed in such ways that added to her growing nausea, and yet she could not look away.

    Or she wasn’t allowed to…

    Jynn now comprehended who she stood before, but no legend could accurately capture this monstrosity. What stood before her was both horse and horseman, and yet reflected the likeness of a dragon. With every blink, it seemed to shift and transform between the three, sometimes even appearing to hold swords or scales.

    And for the first time, Jynn’s senses and comprehension had to decide which was lying.

    Though she could not see its mouth move, a voice smooth as silk, but powerful as thunder, rang through her entire body, “I wonder why you aren’t dead.”

    1. Lee Strangely Avatar
      Lee Strangely

      This story strikes me as something meant to be more focused on the feel rather than the events themselves, sort of like a dream or vision up for interpretating. The descriptions are very well done, somehow managing to be both vague and vivid. The creature’s description comes across as very Lovecraftian in that it’s somebody trying to describe something near indescribable, with the result being something that gets the idea across but clearly is a product of limited conceivability (and not in an overt “Oh, it’s indescribable” sort of way). Overall I have no critiques for this piece and I think you did a fantastic job!

    2. vellichorian Avatar
      vellichorian

      This piece does a great job of making a bright, colorful environment feel creepy and menacing. I think you made a good choice to describe everything through the lens of Jynn’s discomfort, and your pacing of gradually increasing the level of intensity was perfect. First, the landscape/air are moving in a way that makes her feel sick. Then she realized that even the ground is moving. Then she witnesses the appearance of the grotesque and fascinating creature. Then the creature threatens her. It works well. I would keep reading to find out how Jynn escapes from the situation.

    3. WolfsbaneX Avatar
      WolfsbaneX

      Nicely done. While I do wonder what this creature has to do with Famine, I also wonder what this place is. You make it distinct from earth, yet vaguely familiar. I can’t help but recall “Dagon” by H.P. Lovecraft, especially when the land seems to boil. I admire the power you give just to the voice of the rider entity. I hope you follow this story up!

  4. A Gift Horse (Chronicles of The Dragon)
    By Makokam

    The universe is unfathomably huge to the minds of mortals, and seemingly always expanding. Yet so few are able to grasp that their own reality is but a small bubble in a far greater ocean. Bumping among other realities, other possibilities budding off. Entities small and large existing in the space between. Some that can barely be said to exist. Others that feed on those budding realities. Growing stronger on the pure possibility.

    Some becoming what these mortals call gods.

    Others of us, are wiser.

    Some of us, are older.

    We seek not to create, or to be worshiped. But to seek knowledge, true answers, and things that cannot be taken. To guide those that seek wisdom.

    For a price.

    Mortal souls are such a curiosity. So full of potential and possibilities. So full of desires.

    Wishes to be granted.

    Fools.

    They don’t realize how bound they are. Bound to “reality”, to “rules”, when they could be bound to nothing but their own will.

    .oOo.

    Jonathan poked his head into the stable, before walking further into the dark building. He squinted at the many empty stalls as his eyes adjusted to the lack of light. Suddenly, his eyes widened and he took a step back. Then he blinked, and leaned forward, not sure he was seeing what he thought he was.

    He walked back out and called, “Hey! Mira? What’s up with this weird flayed horse lookin’ thing? It’s given me weird vibes! Reminds of the fuckin’ meat dragon Keres made!”

    “Oh! That’s Imogene’s!” Mira called back from across the grounds. “She wanted a horse for her…300th birthday? But there weren’t any where we lived at the time so I made her one! You can feed it if you want! There should be a fridge with snacks in it!”

    “’Flayed horse thing?’” Jostica asked, setting her tea down.

    .oOo.

    They truly don’t understand the vastness of what lays beyond. Their puny minds would reel at the mere thought of it, sending them into gibbering insanity, while wetting their appetite for knowledge and understan-

    Mmm carrot.

    1. WriterOfThought Avatar
      WriterOfThought

      The thought of the flesh horse being both this unknowable and infinite being and yet still having the impulses of a regular horse is quite funny to me.

      Also I must mention that your break points, the .oOo. thing, I can only picture a person telling a campfire ghost story waving their arms and going “oOoOoOo”

      But, back to the story, you did an excellent job at setting the tone and leaving just enough mystery. I think I enjoy the portions from the Flesh Horse’s perspective a bit better than the other characters, so I must wonder what it would be like if it were ALL from his perspective.

    2. Lol this one makes me laugh everytime I’ve read it. The ending lands very well and I love the idea of the Flesh Horse being this cosmic being that still acts like a horse when it comes down to it. That just makes it even funnier.

      I also liked that you acknowledged why the Flesh Horse would be so content to be perceived as a “normal” horse. He’s curious about mortal souls. That little nugget in the beginning ends up tying everything together so well.

      And I think this works very well as a standalone as well. You don’t really need to know who the characters are, though knowing them definitely helps to immerse you all the more if you do.

      All in all, a great story. Loved this take on the prompt!

  5. Lee Strangely Avatar
    Lee Strangely

    Nihtmær
    by Lee Strangely

    He was only just over a year old. The unicorn’s body was still so, so small. His horn little more than a conical nub… Far too young to see such horrible things.

    The unicorn lay there, helpless, quietly crying in fear and pain as the creature’s hoof slowly pressed harder on his horn. Cracks grew along it like branches, the sound so sickeningly loud that the young unicorn heard it from where he stood.

    The thing that stood over the unicorn clearly had hooves, even some teeth poking out…but those were the only features he could clearly see. The rest remained unseen underneath a tattered, once-white cloth that clung to its vaguely equine form like wet leaves, hanging down like a cloak. Three ragged, black birds sat along back. Two perched close to the neck, one atop its head.

    “Let him go!” the young unicorn shouted.

    The two birds in the back turned to him.

    Each one seemingly continued the other, cawing, “Turn back to the field…”

    “little one…”

    “Go, while you still might…”

    “…slumber in peace…”

    He began to trot into the water, “Leave him be.”

    “Or what…

    “…child?”

    “I-I’m not a child!” he shouted with as much conviction as he could muster.

    “Then what…

    “…are…”

    “…you?” the two crows jeered.

    “…I … I-I… I’m a stallion!”

    “A stallion?!”

    “Yes, a big powerful stallion!”

    The two crows looked at one another.

    “A stallion?” the third muttered in a deep rumble, “how odd… You don’t sound like a stallion.”

    The equine creature’s head turned.

    Stained cloth. Crimson flesh. A dead white eye peered through. “You don’t look like a stallion… You look like a little lying foal… Do you have a name?”

    He tried faking assertiveness, “Do YOU?”

    “I might’ve… Not one that I remember anymore…”

    “W-what are you then? What, do others call you?”

    “There is something… A word you Houyhnhnms use… a Nihtmær, I believe…”

    Chills crept along the young unicorn’s mane.

    “You should’ve listened to the birds’ warning.”

    The trembling young unicorn took another step forward, stomping his hoof into the ground, “I’m not, a-a-afraid of you.”

    1. WriterOfThought Avatar
      WriterOfThought

      Oh this was delightfully macabre! Excellent work.

      There is a little known piece of DnD lore that says nightmares (the creature) are made when a pegasus is captured and de-winged. But here, you use unicorns. Does separating a unicorn from its horn create a flesh horse?

      I really enjoy the young unicorn’s personality. He’s quite believable and very real-feeling. And his back-and-forth between the crows and the nihtmær is wonderful. I felt for the foal.

      Great job!

    2. Revisis Avatar

      Ohh 11/10 for referencing a german fairytale creature!

      Adding a tattered white cloth to the Flesh horse is actually genius, that really just adds to the whole vibe and aestetic!

      Nachmahre/Nightmares usually crush a sleeping persons chest, so seeing it crush a unicorns horn is a great twist on the stories.
      The ravens are a great addition, even if they are mocking the poor brave foal.

      Id did not expect the horse to speak! I assumed the ravens would be its mouth, damn that must be like body-horror for a unicorn/Horse!

      Amazing Work Lee! I hope the foal escaped D: xD

  6. MasaCur Avatar

    An Unexpected Visit
    By MasaCur

    Nabiki frowned as she read over Derek’s shoulder. “What the heck is a Flesh Horse?”

    Derek jumped as soon as he heard her voice. “Don’t do that! When did you get here?”

    Nabiki shrugged nonchalantly. “Just now. So, uh, Flesh Horse?”

    “It’s, uh, it’s kind of a meme on my writing group stream. Like an, um, an inside joke.”

    “So, what is it? Is it a horse covered in flesh? Because, you know what I call those?”

    Derek kept looking at Nabiki with apprehension. She had never just appeared in front of him before. He usually invited her to talk to him. It took him a few seconds to realize she asked him a question. “Sorry, ummm, what?”

    “I call it a horse, you idiot. All horses have flesh.”

    “No, it’s kind of uh, it’s an eldritch being that one of the other writers came up with. Like a pile of rotting horse meat that assembled itself back into a horse.”

    “Gross!” Nabiki wrinkled her nose. “So, uh, these other writers? Do they also have characters that know about them?”

    “What? Umm, no. You’re special that way.”

    “So they don’t know that some asshole is making their life terrible for them behind the scenes, huh?”

    Derek tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he stared at the short teenage girl. “Is this about, um, is this about your mom dying?”

    “You mean is this about you killing my mom for narrative reasons?” Nabiki growled. She glared at Derek for several seconds. “Not today. But I should try to see if I can get back here and brain you with my guitar. But not today.”

    That didn’t make Derek feel much better. He could feel a cold sweat along his back and his fingers trembled on his keyboard.

    “All this talk about horses, I’m thinking I’m going to go back to my world and see if Ayase will let me ride Sugarbutt for a while. Have fun with your weird writer friends and your rotten flesh horse.” Nabiki sneered and walked back out the door.

    1. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
      Arith_Winterfell

      A humorous glance at the Flesh Horse and at Derek’s experience being tormented by his characters in this meta story! It put a smile on my face! It was funny and a interesting look into your mind space. 🙂 Well done!

    2. WolfsbaneX Avatar
      WolfsbaneX

      I am a sucker for metafiction and this scratches that itch well. While I do wish the Flesh Horse was more incorporated into the world of Genre Break, I also understand how difficult that might be, especially for what might be a one-off. You still did well characterizing yourself and Nabiki, and it’s always fun and interesting to read the two of you interacting. Nicely done.

  7. Your Story Is In Another Bar
    By Taja DaLeen

    “You know, there’s been rumors, almost legends boutta strange horse that’s wandering the plains of Ba’al.

    And I’m not talkin’ bout wind horses, those are common ’nuff. This’s one with four legs, apparently it used to be a completely normal horse of This World, ‘fore it got cursed.

    Or rather, ‘fore that dude got cursed.

    It’s said it all started with some landlord or somethin’. Apparently there was this witch among those workin’ for him, and she liked one of his horses in particular, befriendin’ the beast.

    Maybe ’twas even a pooka, livin’ there in the guise of a horse, who knows.

    Anyway, it’s also said that this landowner was really into that witch, but she ‘dismissed his advances’. Didn’t like him back at all. So to get revenge, he skinned her horse friend.

    Prolly would’ve done more to the corpse, but that’s pretty much when the curse hit. She bound his soul to the beast, so he’d hafta walk the world as some weird skinless horse zombie forever.

    Or ’til the curse is broken, dunno. Don’t even know if the curse can be broken at all, or if the poor fella really has to live like that ’til we all get swallowed by the sun.”

    “This is not what I was inquiring about.”

    “What else could you be talkin’ bout? Other than that there’s no story of a flesh horse. Or at least none I’d know ’bout.”

    “So you were indeed the wrong person to approach. I apologize.”

    “Yeah, yeah… you still gonna pay for my drink?”

    “Certainly; a promise is a promise after all.”

    Leaving more than enough money on the table, the stranger stood and turned to leave the bar. It seemed he needed to look somewhere else to find those who called him here, into this reality.

    He could hear their voices loud and clear. Their belief was strong – strong enough to be magic.

    1. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      That was amazing, DaLeen. Those last two paragraphs are an amazing way to reveal a meta story. It brings the magic of your world closer to this one (and now I’m thinking if I just can find this stranger, I’m in for a free drink! I think I know the story he is interested in hearing about).

      I really like the impression I got that I don’t really know if the guy in the bar is trying to recollect one story that was told lots of times differently or if he is just making up something so that he could get the free drink… and it just feels right that way. Stories tend to have a life of their own, grow variations and sprout doubts.

      That was a great take. I love that this is a search for the Flesh Horse as a story, not just an story of a search for the Flesh Horse.

      And that last line is quite beautiful (and a bit terrifying, considering what the belief is put into)!

    2. Revisis Avatar

      Gasp. Where there is a Flesh horse there must be….a flesh Cowboy!

      Fascinating take on the story!! I love the idea of playing into the mythos, the fact that the horse is sorta extra-dimensional.

      Sure this particular rumor-monger may know of ‘a’ fleshhorse, but that could just be a local legend. A drop in the bucket caused by the actual horses presence. Or maybe just an odd coincidence.

      I love the idea of a Hunter/Tamer/person that is essentially stalking the horse from reality to reality, trying to track it down the good old fashioned way. Greasing jaws with alcohol.

      Ps: Trust the Bavarian to use a weird accent! /J xD

  8. Revisis Avatar

    An Equine Reaper
    by Exce, Edited by Skeleton Prime and Luna

    Mattis felt lost. A thick mist filled the air about him, and a sharp, spiking pain flowered outwards from his abdomen. Had he been stabbed? Punched? His memories were slick with vibrant pain and the details fled his grasp.

    Pushing off a chunk of shattered masonry, Mattis looked around. The city was gone, something had come from the great portal and destroyed it. Had he been injured in a battle, or by the destruction of the city—he couldn’t be sure.

    Staggering through the mist-choked debris, he could feel his thoughts spill away like sand.

    So he didn’t react immediately when the mist parted around a towering creature. Powerful, muscle wrapped legs crushed a wall into dust before a long neck slowly turned around to face him. As its black eyes met his bloodshot ones, thoughts momentarily fell into line. It was an enormous horse, taller than even northern shire breeds; Mattis had to crane his neck slightly to even see the curve of its back.

    Looking along its motionless flank, he was reminded of some taxidermist exhibition. Dead animals, skinned and prepared to show off their musculature. But this being wasn’t some exhibition piece, as its thin mane shifted with a sudden motion that broke their eye contact.

    A tall figure, entirely clad in black cloth and an armor of dark gray steel, broke from the mist towards Mattis. Its arm was raised as if to strike, utterly ignoring the skinned horse.

    The beast’s jaws opened up, wider than should be possible, and with a single sharp snap, it took off the figure’s head. Instead of blood, there was only another burst of mist as the body toppled out of view.

    With its maw trailing wisps, the horse grabbed hold of Mattis’ collar and the man found himself placed atop the blood warm,raw back. Almost immediately his body slumped, strength flowing out as heat flowed in. He didn’t even notice the other motionless figures in front of him, all tattered and blood stained alike.

    Fading from consciousness, each quaking step rocking him into a strange, painless sleep, Mattis smiled.

    1. Lee Strangely Avatar
      Lee Strangely

      “And I looked, and behold, a pale horse. And the rider’s name was Death.”

      Is the creature death, or merely one who feeds on it? the ambiguity works wonderfully for this piece, especially with everything being relayed like a reader watching an event unfold with only their own minds to figure what’s happening. It’s quite imaginative and the vivid descriptions definitely do everything justice.

      My only critique would be the ongoing use of “could it be this, or perhaps that?” sort of thing in the piece. I personally don’t like it in most stories as to me it comes across like the author attempting to railroad the readers thought process instead of letting them speculate naturally on their own.

      Overall, I think your story was good and well written. Thanks for sharing!

      1. Revisis Avatar

        Ah I see what you mean xD

        I wanted those more to be like the chars own confusion and failing attempts at remembering wtf happend to him before waking up/coming to conciousness.

        Thy for ur review!

    2. Skeleton Avatar

      I really enjoyed reading this piece. You spend just enough time on the build up to make it concerning when the flesh horse shows up. When it does, you do an excellent job describing it and making the audience feel the uncomfortable nature of a skinless horse. On top of that, the two consequences of meeting the horse (Eternal Sleep on it’s back or just… being eaten or decapitation [which in it of itself reminds me so much of attack on titan that I now want an edit of the flesh horse peaking above the wall Maria]) are dire and described with such soft hostility that it’s unnerving.

      Great job!

    3. Ich würd ja gern sagen, dass das hier eine schöne Geschichte ist… aber “schön” passt eigentlich nicht wirklich, oder?
      Aber ich mag sie. Es ist eine ruhige Atmosphäre, was zum Thema Tod wirklich gut passt, und ich mag auch die Idee, dass das Flesh Horse im Prinzip die Rolle des Sensenmannes übernimmt; zumindest ist es das, was ich hier reininterpretieren würde.
      Ich finde auch die Sache mit dem Nebel sehr passend. Immerhin ist das, was nach dem Tod passiert, für uns Lebende eine neblige Angelegenheit.

      Ein sehr gelungener Wiedereinstieg! Willkommen zurück, haha. Danke dafür, dass du die Geschichte geschrieben und mit uns geteilt hast.

      (Translation:
      I’d say this is a nice story, but “nice” doesn’t really fit, does it?
      But I like it. The atmosphere is calm, which is really fitting for this theme of death, and I like the idea of having the Flesh Horse take up the mantle of Death; or at least that’s how I’d interpret this.
      I also found the thing with the mist to be quite fitting. [Insert pun that doesn’t really work in English.]

      A very good returning, welcome back! Thank you for writing and sharing this story.)

    4. MasaCur Avatar

      Not going to lie, I’ was almost wondering if this story was bringing back the Headless Horseman that you wrote in the Lohwall Chronicles in one story. I mean, there is a lot of similar imagery. Having said, I love the descriptions in your story, Exce. There is such a nightmarish quality to what Mattis encounters, and I wonder if this actually is happening, of if it is some dying fever dream he has before he passes from the injuries he sustained, whatever they may be.

  9. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
    i-prefer-the-term-antihero

    [DM me on discord for details!]

    1. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      Oh, that was amazing, Anti!

      As soon as I read the title and knew it was a Victor story, I was filled with anticipation. And the whole scene is so engaging, that I wanted to shout out with him. And then, that scream dies in our throats as created life itself fails.

      That is way more emotional than playing god with lots of horse flesh has any right to be!

      But really, I love how it is described. Its flow is very distinct. It starts with very clear explanations and then it starts descending into the kind of overly excited punctuation I’d expect for someone who is completely taken by making SCIENCE!

      And that same cadence isn’t abandoned even when the tone completely shifts from anticipation and euphoria to sadness and the feeling of failure.

      Great story, Anti!

    2. Glaceon373 Avatar
      Glaceon373

      Oooooh, this is a crazy take on the prompt, Kaylie! The paragraphs getting shorter and shorter as the piece goes on emphasizes how important each separate thought is to Victor. It’s almost poetic to me, but that might just be because I’ve been reading a lot of poetry lately. I also love the “(What? You didn’t think I started with a human, did you?)” line, it made me chuckle. Great job, Kaylie!

    3. Skeleton Avatar

      I really enjoy the thought that Frankenstein’s monster is just a horse without skin.

      Regardless, I enjoyed this piece. It’s the classic “It’s alive” scene redone with a fresh coat of meme flavoring. However… that’s really all I can see it as. It would have been nice if there was something more substantial to this scene other than the monster being a horse. Replacing the horse with a person just gives us the classic scene again. It could have been cool if this was just an alpha test of the resurrection machine, and after the horse had failed to come to life, Victor leaves to do something, and the horse gets up to be an eldritch abomination. It would give Victor a chance to know that his machine works without understanding what he’s just unleashed upon the world.

      Those are just my ideas, though. The ending was still really impactful and the writing was well done. Keep it up, Kaylie!

    4. Man this was a fun piece. Don’t get me wrong, there was a definite emotional undertone with the ups and downs of his experiment, but it had a lot of joviality to it too. When you first mentioned horse flesh I was really confused, because, as usual, I didn’t look at whose POV it was. This piece was really good though, well done!

    5. Yeeees! I asked for more and got just that! All Praise his glorious fleshy hoofness!

      All seriousness though, this is amazing! I actually cracked up a bit when Victor breaks the fourth wall as it were asking if we thought he started with humans. And you know what? I did!

      But this does make sense and it fits perfectly. It’s also so cool that you had one story lead into the other. I’m not sure I’ve done that yet on those occasions that I’ve done two stories. It is really fun though. Especially since I read them in the right order.

      As for the story itself, I absolutely love Victor’s logic here. It totally fits. He would see dead bodies as nothing more than broken machines that he could theoretically fix. And going through the whole process from Victor’s point of view was a thrilling ride into the horrific as well.

      I’m also a big fan of the one sentence breaks as Victor is just reacting to his horsey creation. It reads like thought bubbles, which I’m assuming is intentional. It gives each thought it’s own punch which works very well. You’re right there for the success and for the failure.

      Though personally I’d argue that it was a success in general. Victor might not agree in that moment, but raising the dead even temporarily is still one hell of a feat.

      Needless to say I really enjoyed this one. Thanks for sharing!

    6. The thing I love the most about this story is Victor’s pure joy at the horse coming alive. All the bits where he’s testing its vision and hearing, and then encouraging it to stand.

      And then it collapses.

      I don’t know if what he did just didn’t take, or if it ran out of power. Like, the initial jolt got it up and moving, like jumpstarting a car, but it was unable to produce more energy for itself.

      It explains his actual “success” and how it went wrong. It feels like he could have gone down different paths to solve the problem, and he picked the wrong one.

      Or, considering the nature of what he’s doing, there may not have BEEN a right answer.

      Not a fast one at least.

      It’s funny. In the original book, I believe, he said he needed something big so he could make sure everything fit together properly, or something like that. So in that regard working with a horse makes a lot of sense. On the other hand, starting small with fish, or frogs, before moving on to rats, cats, dogs, etc. would be the safer and less uh…risky option. And I love the idea that his lab could be full of weird corpse creatures by the time he attempts this on a human corpse.

      But then, it’s his ego, hubris, pride, etc that caused all his problems in the first place isn’t it?

    7. WolfsbaneX Avatar
      WolfsbaneX

      Victor had a trial run, huh? I do think that his use of a horse might be a bit misguided in a scientific sense, but mad scientist is going to mad scientist. You fragmented the story a lot more than you should have. When I see a new line in text, I think it’s a new idea. So, when you stagger Victor’s inner dialogue it feels awkward. I do think you convey Victor’s emotions well and this is written well. Nice job. I wonder if Victor ever tried other animals…

  10. Aracnarquista Avatar
    Aracnarquista

    Revelations in Visceral Majesty
    by Aracnarquista

    I was lost. I walked those endless tunnels, prompted by calls to write, for what seemed like countless lifetimes, and I don’t remember ever coming to an end or exit from them. Why did I walk? Why did I write? I do not know, but I think I was always searching. Search I did, but it was not my motion that brought me into the cathedral. Suddenly, I was there.

    I didn’t find it.

    It found me.

    All was dark, but in that darkness I could see. My eyes were useless, but I didn’t need them. Four titanic pillars rose from the abyss and met the ceiling, making an irregular vault. From it, two large structures shoot out even higher, and a series of what seemed like marble spikes jutted out and tried to find each other in its center.

    Only it was not marble, but bone. Those spikes were giant ribs, jutting out from exposed flesh. All was bone and flesh, tendons and sinew. It pulsated, and the flow and shedding of its blood sounded like a holy chant.

    The Cathedral was a place, but also a creature. Something so enormous and magnificent I was unable to grasp all its visage. It was impossible (and not only in size), but nonetheless it was true. That flesh was truer than mine, and that unreal place more real than any existent place.

    Another sound joined the chant of flowing blood: a tired, slow breathing. It sounded like a horse of incredible proportions after a gallop. But the cathedral didn’t move (the cathedral was always moving): maybe reality itself ran through it.

    The breathing didn’t form words, but I uncovered a message in it.

    There were still stories to be told, stories about unknown truths and its visceral majesty. I was to compose a prayer, a hymn. The way to the cathedral, in written form. That long, eternal corridor would finally have an end. I needed to find it, so that I could create it. It has always existed, but now it needed a beginning.

    So I wrote it.

    Be not afraid.

    1. Glaceon373 Avatar
      Glaceon373

      Aracnarquista, this is a fascinating take on the prompt. The imagery, combined with the first person perspective, creates quite the vision of the insides of this flesh horse. Also, the line “Why did I walk? Why did I write? I do not know, but I think I was always searching” is a mood. Great job with this piece, Aracnarquista!

      1. Aracnarquista Avatar
        Aracnarquista

        Thanks a lot!

        I was going for a different perspective, so taking the bodily aspect and applying an architectural scale and language to it seemed like it could – if not work – at least make for some creepy and strange vibe. I guess it worked well on that.

        And yeah, I really think that is a mood. Hehehehehe.

        Once again, thanks!

    2. This was amazing. And I think it captures the Eldritch part of eldritch horror quite well, you managed to describe what can’t be described in a way, that it’s still obvious it cannot be described completely. The feeling in this one is amazing.

      Also I liked the fact this is both a story, and a story about how that exact story came to be, which is not only a great feat, but also a kind of looping experience when reading it again, and I love it.

      Thank you so much for writing and sharing this!

      1. Aracnarquista Avatar
        Aracnarquista

        Thanks a lot.

        I had an initial idea of making a story frame of someone investigating the writings of a one suspected cultist among a group of writers who has stopped writing after a cryptic story. It was clear from the beginning that would not fit the word count, so I then tried to just go for the most pressing imagery I had and use some meta elements (such as the thing about endless corridors and writing as a means to reach something) and see where that would take me… and it circled back to the idea of a story that could serve as a door to the same place the writer found themselves in.

        Seems like this particular horse runs in circles as well.

        Thanks a lot for the comment.

  11. The Lady in Red
    by Gerrit (Rattus)

    The Poppy Queen rode through the ruins of the city, the evening sun casting a long shadow before her. All around her was quiet, the air filled with silence not in absence of sound, but in fear of it.

    Her mount snorted beneath her. It was hungry, and grew angrier with each passing minute that it wasn’t fed. Knots of flesh twisted and tensed, bursting through the skin in patches across its body. Its long, whiplike tail flicked in the space behind her.

    A tumbling rock betrayed a survivor, and her horse charged. Before the person could react they were pinned to the ground beneath a hoof, drool dripping down onto their clothes. The horse opened its too-wide mouth, rows of sharp teeth glistening in the half light, and chomped down. In an instant, the cries for mercy were cut off, along with everything above the waist.

    The Poppy Queen stroked her steed’s neck, looking around her as it ate the other half of its dinner. A human stood in an alleyway beside her. Not hiding, as the others tended to. He even had the audacity to lock eyes with her.

    She held the reins tight in her hand, preventing her steed from making another quick meal. There was something different about this one.

    In seconds the distance before them was gone, cleared in several long strides. He only looked up at her, wordless. At first she thought him to be paralyzed, though the fire in his eyes killed that notion. As she towered over him, her approximation of a horse licking its lips, the human surprised her.

    He bowed his head.

    A smile turned up the corner of her mouth. It was about time one of these insects showed her the respect she deserved. She extended a hand, which he took hesitantly. With some assistance she helped him into a seat behind her atop the beast.

    One way or another, she would make use of him. Such reverence deserved reward, after all. If nothing else, she was long overdue to find herself a consort.

    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Ooooh this is so cool!! To be honest, I thought you were gonna write about the time in your novel when they have to eat their horse…but I’m glad you went for this one-shot.

      “The Lady in Red” and “The Poppy Queen” are striking, poetic, and intriguing titles from the get-go. As is the image of her riding The/a flesh horse (can’t tell if it’s THE Flesh Horse or just happens to be a fleshly horse) through a ruined, silent city, feasting on survivors is also a vivid image right away.

      “The air filled with silence not in absence of sound, but in fear of it.” is a very cool idea too.

      I really like the image of the flesh horse as this hungry, drooling, un-horse-like thing. Even described as an “approximation of a horse.” “Knots of flesh twisted and tensed, bursting through the skin in patches across its body.” was my favorite image in that paragraph.

      “A tumbling rock betrayed a survivor”
      –Cool phrasing.

      “The horse opened its too-wide mouth, rows of sharp teeth glistening in the half light, and chomped down. In an instant, the cries for mercy were cut off, along with everything above the waist.”
      –I feel like a crazy person for saying that this is my favorite image in the piece XD I just love this idea of a carnivorous horse.
      And, in a way, I’m shocked I haven’t read about this before. Horses always go into battle, but they don’y do damage the way say, riding a leopard into battle would. If feels like something more fantasy worlds should use. It’s delightfully terrifying.

      It’s also cool that, despite the ravenous, violent nature of the horse, the queen appears to be in complete, calm, collected, control.

      I will be honest…the second half isn’t quite as powerful to me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s well written, and a neat idea. I like the contrast between the survivors, and seeing that the queen doesn’t just kill indiscriminately. But the initial image was so striking, the ending seems…a bit anticlimactic to me. But that could easily just be me. I’d be curious to hear other’s thoughts.

      I wonder, is she not human? I thought she was, but she called humans “insects” so…maybe she also is a strange flesh-being? Or they’re both demons or something?

      I know this is probably just a one-off, but I’d love to read more from this universe!

    2. vellichorian Avatar
      vellichorian

      In this piece, I think you did a great job of acclimating the reader to the setting and circumstances of an event already in progress. I see the recent destruction and the Poppy Queen and her mount hunting for survivors. They are an intimidating pair, and the horror of their combined strength and brutality is horrific.

      I am left wondering what kind of person she picks up at the end. He seems unfazed by not only the devastation around him but witnessing the horse eat another person in two bites not far from him. He must be particularly ambitious to willingly join the Queen with respect rather than fear.

  12. Skeleton Avatar

    The Flesh is Weak (The Will)
    By Skeleton

    “Judging by the design, it appears to be a blueprint or construction manual for a Forebearer vehicle.” Eymir watched as the white dragoness paced back and forth in front of the diagram as she studied the newly acquired information with paramount intrigue. “I don’t understand it at all,” she admitted. “All of this tech is way beyond our understanding… and yet it reminds me of…”

    Eymir rolled his eyes, a smile working its way onto his lips as he watched his wife dive through the impossible amount of records she was forced to keep. “Another diagram?” he guessed as Remianna resurfaced from the sea of books and notes.

    “No. A recorded conversation between two Forebearers named Eregrim and Orlunae. Other evidence suggests they were extremely important figures in their society, as well as at the forefront of their culture and technology. They were proclaimed to be the sons of The Creator—whatever that means.”

    “Let’s hear it, then.”

    Remianna cleared her throat and began to read aloud. “Orlunae opens: “Are you insane, or just plain stupid, you smear of failure? The Creator—the one who built the land under our feet, the one who sewed the rules that govern our world, the one who created us and tasked us with the divine duty—asks us for a gift, and you want it made of flesh?””

    “Eregrim responds: “Yes. The steed is elegant, quick, and strong. Its hair and tail flutter on the wind—a symbol of the freedom he values above all else. The material is readily on hand, it can be self-produced like the servers, as well as aid them in their tasks. He will love it.””

    “He will hate it. It requires too much upkeep. Metal is the future, brother, and my two-wheel design will take him much farther, much faster than that… abomination.”

    “You’re just mad that you know I’m right.”

    Eymir began laughing vigorously, though his lips were sealed. Remianna looked to him confused, to which he shared briefly, wondering why the conversation felt familiar. “Some things never change, I guess,” he reasoned with a ghost of a laugh.

    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Ooooh this is fun!! I’m curious if this could be something actually canon in your world, or if it was just a fun AU.

      “a smile working its way onto his lips” is a neat phrasing.

      The story: Eregrim
      Me, pointing: OH, OH I KNOW THAT NAME! *Scoots in closer*

      “Orlunae opens: “Are you insane, or just plain stupid, you smear of failure?”
      –This probably isn’t supposed to be funny, but just
      “Yeah, we have this ancient scroll from people who knew the Creator, seems pretty darn important.”
      The first line of the scroll: “You stupid little bitch”
      is really funny to me XD
      I really like your phrasing though. “smear of failure” is a cool turn of phrase.

      “who sewed the rules that govern our world,”
      –Another cool phrasing

      The section about the flesh horse is both well described–both in word choice and character voice–and also really funny to me. Seeing these connections with our stream-inside-joke to the characters I know is delightful.

      I also feel like we’re getting insight into Eregrim and Orlunae’s relationship, a playful rivalry, and potentially a clash between nature and machinery. It’s also fun that this poetic discussion ends with a childish, casual “You’re just mad that you know I’m right.”
      It’s also interesting they’re called “Forebears” and we’re known as important people in society–not like spirits or anything.

      I feel like I read Orlunae’s name in the story about the woman in white’s “brother” acting very strange? Maybe he was Orlunae?

      The ending is a bit confusing (though I do think simply putting “Some things never change…” on its own line would help) however, what I’m guessing is going on, is that the creature inside Eymir is laughing, not Eymir?
      I remember mentioning that I thought Eregrim could be the creature in Eymir and that he sounded like the creator..and you didn’t confirm that, but said there was a reason I could hear Eymir in the voice of the creator so…this just intrigues me more in that track.

      I’m glad you were able to post this week!!

    2. Revisis Avatar

      Here is a thing I never expected:

      People INVENTING a horse vs a person inventing a Bicycle (funfact those are sometimes called wire-donkeys in german!)

      Interesting take on the prompt! Hiding the Horse in descriptions and plans instead of an obvious report or face-to-face meeting!

      Also turning the expectation of a highly advanced and thus far more civil/formal society on its head by having the acient rext open with an insult. Amazing.

      Id love a sequel were we see the Flesh Horse race a Bicycle! Great job Skele!

  13. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
    Arith_Winterfell

    “The Self Unborn”

    By: Arith_Wintefell

    In my dream visions I reach out beyond my world. I tumble downward into infinity. I feel it reach out to my mind. The angel of flesh, flesh-feather wings unfurled from its inner muscles and organs, and the terrible face of a horse’s skull.

    It reaches out and I see things I do not understand. Shining lights of cities with more people than stars in the sky. Men dueling with swords of light and fire. People decanted from dark waters heralded by men and women in white robes. People with strange faces of flesh and steel. I saw towers and tunnels hidden away on airless worlds older than the sparks that birthed our own sun. Inscriptions in long dead alien tongues.

    It speaks to me, “Our thoughts are as the waters of the sea. Ever changing. Shifting and becoming. To busy changing to lie. I am the truth. I am the darkness. We bear countless faces.”

    Then I looked at myself and I saw what it meant. For I was many faces. Countless possibilities stretching behind me and before me. Born again and again. Like looking into a mirror facing another mirror. I was everyone, learning suffering and compassion. The seed of divinity.

    Then I looked deeper and was afraid, for I also saw nothingness. My faces empty masks barely concealing the dark nothingness between the stars. The shadow of myself and all the things about myself I hated and could not bear. I could feel my body and mind unravelling.

    But it reached out and I could feel it brace me, and I was whole. It was as a woman with polished marble flesh. A body that was a cocoon with a crack down its spine opening before me. The tendrils of flesh wings unfurled against the night. It looked down at me with eyes made of the night sky. Most terrible of all, it smiled with sad compassion silently weeping an ichor made of darkness.

    I could bear no more! It released me with mercy and I awoke to the first rays of the dawn.

    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Whoa! This is cool! And terrifying! I like that you are teaching us of the more eldritch/madness aspects of the Flesh Horse with this one. It’s also cool you used the winged image from your art. (“The angel of flesh, flesh-feather wings unfurled from its inner muscles and organs, and the terrible face of a horse’s skull.” is exactly your art and beautifully described).

      “airless worlds older than the sparks that birthed our own sun. Inscriptions in long dead alien tongues.”
      –was my favorite description in that section. Beautiful.

      Is this character partially seeing the future? Or is it more “we’ll never know what they’re seeing, if it’s other worlds, the future, or what…it was all eldritch truth”?

      “To busy changing to lie.”
      –This line was the most fascinating in the Flesh Horse’s monologue to me. being too busy to lie is a really interesting idea.

      My favorite part the section about the main character seeing that they have many faces, and then next seeing nothingness in the faces. It’s hard to pick a favorite line from either paragraph because both are fascinating and terrifying and beautifully described.

      “But it reached out and I could feel it brace me, and I was whole. It was as a woman with polished marble flesh.”
      –Okay but this is honestly the most terrifying line to me

      “A body that was a cocoon with a crack down its spine opening before me”
      –I adore this description

      “silently weeping an ichor made of darkness”
      –Neat image that beautifully contrasts tenderness and terrifying-ness

      I wonder what will happen/is happening to this character as they wake up. Usually when a character wakes up they realize it wasn’t real and everything is fine…but I feel like this character’s mind may be forever broken…

      Great job!! Thank you for gracing us with the cosmic knowledge of the Flesh Horse in the first place!

      1. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
        Arith_Winterfell

        Thanks Kaylie. A really good exploration and breakdown of a dream-vision. Those are indeed visions of the future/alien worlds. So they are partially comprehensible to us, but totally incompressible to the narrator.

        I’m glad you enjoyed all the imagery. I really was inspired when I wrote this, and I’m glad I’m captured that sense of wonder and fear together. Thank you for the review!

    2. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      This was amazing, Arith. I love how ominous and bizarre this feels, and how like a revelatory dream vision it really is. Strange, somewhat incomprehensible… but it clings to us, comes back into the waking life and we just can’t escape it anymore. It lingers, it start not just making sense, but building sense around it.

      And the imagery is just so beautiful here. The description on this other worlds, the monologue of the Flesh Horse, the way the narrator describes being pure potential and also nothing at all… This is quality craft here. Really powerful storytelling.

      Well, I wouldn’t expect less from the prophet who first brought us the revelation, right?

      Thanks a lot for sharing this one. This is beautiful.

  14. Glaceon373 Avatar
    Glaceon373

    Carl’s Story (Students of the DiamondBridge Academy universe)
    by Carrie (Glaceon373)

    Carl lived in the care of the Vladirin family household, except it wasn’t so much “living” as it was existing in a state that wasn’t life, but wasn’t lifeless either.

    Once upon a time, he had lived. Probably, anyway. All signs pointed to that being the case, but Carl couldn’t quite remember it. His brain had been lost somewhere along the way, you see. Same with the rest of his organs.

    Carl was a skeleton horse, the best low maintenance family pet in all of Edalynthia. He didn’t need to eat, he didn’t need regular walks, and he didn’t need to go to the groomers every six months. And no one had to worry about what he felt because he couldn’t feel anything at all.

    At least, that was how it was supposed to work.

    Carl, in his undead existence, could still understand one sensory experience. And that was temperature. He slowed down in the warm summer afternoons, and on winter days he would shiver, his bones rattling so much the Vladirins would bring him in to rest by the fireplace in the living room.

    And alongside this feeling of temperatures, there was one almost-thought that accompanied it in Carl’s nonexistent brain.

    It was that Carl missed his flesh.

    He did. He truly did. He had no memories at all, but he knew he missed his flesh. He missed its ability to sweat in the heat and its insulating qualities in the cold. He didn’t miss his stomach—he didn’t ever feel hungry—but his flesh? Oh, how he missed it.

    Is it wrong for an undead horse to miss the flesh of the living? Should the horse come to terms with the truth that it will forever be without what it once held so dear? Or should it fight, tooth and hoof, to get it back?

    Carl didn’t know the answers to this. Because, of course, Carl was still without a brain.

    1. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
      Arith_Winterfell

      This is an interesting take on the Flesh Horse, exploring an undead creatures longing for well, creature comforts. It misses its flesh because it longs to experience the comfort of flesh. In a way it echoes our own longings and experience as beings of the flesh if you well. When we lose something as intimate as our own flesh, we would feel deep and abiding loss. I really like this exploration of something both as simple as longing, yet also as deep as longing too. Good work Carrie!

    2. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Oh my gosh, Carrie!! This is so delightful!! I’m gonna have such a tough time picking out my favorite lines because this is one of those stories where pretty much every line is my favorite line.

      First of all, I love that his name is Carl. I’m not sure if this was intended or not, but that was definitely part of what made me think he was a human at first. But knowing he’s a skeleton horse makes the name so funny and awesome.

      Also “Vladirin” makes me think of Vlad Dracula…are they meant to be vampires?

      “except it wasn’t so much “living” as it was existing in a state that wasn’t life, but wasn’t lifeless either.”
      –Me first reading it: I know this is probably gonna be something fantastical, but that’s a mood

      “Once upon a time, he had lived. Probably, anyway. All signs pointed to that being the case, but Carl couldn’t quite remember it. His brain had been lost somewhere along the way, you see. Same with the rest of his organs.”
      –Love the way you phrased this, both poetic and playful

      “Carl was a skeleton horse,”
      –This line caught me so off guard that I nearly burst out laughing

      “the best low maintenance family pet in all of Edalynthia. He didn’t need to eat, he didn’t need regular walks, and he didn’t need to go to the groomers how six months. And no one had to worry about what he felt because he couldn’t feel anything at all.”
      –Ya know…that’s a good point. Also really creative, and adorable…if you don’t think about how sad it is.
      It also makes me think of a how bad I wanted to actually keep a stalhorse when I played Breath of the Wild.

      It’s fascinating that he can still feel temperature, and the images you use are very evocative for it.

      A skeleton horse missing his flesh is such a clever, delightful, adorable, (and a bit sad), take on the prompt, I love it so much.

      Does him missing his flesh specifically relate to temperature?

      “Carl didn’t know the answers to this. Because, of course, Carl was still without a brain.”
      –A++ ending, perfect way to bring the story full circle, and so funny and tragic.

      Absolutely adored this one, thank you so much for sharing!!

    3. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      Very unexpected! I love how we get the inner perception of an undead horse, and its longing for its missing flesh. And focusing on temperature of all things is something that is so seldom used – and it got even more striking considering the whole theme and subject of this story.

      There was just of sentence I stumbled a bit around: “He didn’t need to eat, he didn’t need regular walks, and he didn’t need to go to the groomers how six months.” That last part seems to have either something missing or something was swapped in writing/editing. Very minor tidbit, but there it is.

      This was a delightful read.

  15. Horse Around and Find Out
    By Marx

    “And then it approached. The very Earth quaked with each hellish step. Those who didn’t know what it was, fled. Those who remained only did so because they knew there was no escape.

    “They could only pray, forsaking whatever deity they worshipped for their new overlord. They had to push down the fear and disgust as they took in all the muscles and the sinew and the horror of what was before them. It was their only path to survival. For no one outruns… the Flesh Horse…”

    Daisy let out a snort, pausing her intense focus on the tiny jewels she was methodically adding to her nails.

    Jasmine sighed, looking at her friend over the book she was reading. “I’m sorry. Is this funny to you?”

    Daisy rolled her eyes. “It’s a horse. You’re trying to scare me with a horse.”

    “The Flesh Horse is the personification of terror!”

    “If you say so.” Daisy focused on her nails again. “How does that even work, anyway? A horse with flesh is just a normal horse, right?”

    Jasmine grit her teeth. “It’s a horse without flesh! That’s the point!”

    “Why is a horse without flesh called a flesh horse? It should be called a… muscle horse. Or a bone horse. Well… maybe not a bone horse…”

    “It eats flesh!”

    “Does it whinny?” Daisy asked, looking up with a smirk.

    “…no. It talks.”

    “So, it’s Mr. Ed without skin. Got it. You may resume.”

    “It doesn’t talk with its lips! It talks directly into your mind! Prolonged exposure to its voice drives you mad!”

    “Uh huh.” Daisy took a moment to admire the work she’d done on her left hand. “If it drives you mad, how would that part of the story get passed along?”

    “…fine. How’s this for a scary story? There’s a breed of spider in Australia that will crawl into your ear and lay eggs,” Jasmine lied as she slammed her book shut. “It’s called the-”

    “Flesh Horse!” Daisy cried out, momentarily petrified. “More about the Flesh Horse, please!”

    “Psh!” Jasmine slowly opened her book again. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

    1. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
      Arith_Winterfell

      A funny exploration of the Flesh Horse as a story book creature and a conflict between Daisy and Jasmine, with Jasmine clearly knowing how to get under Daisy’s skin. Daisy’s dismissal of the Flesh Horse adds a real element of light heartedness and whimsy to the story, such as when she compared the Flesh Horse to Mr. Ed. Its an interesting exploration of the conflict between two characters using the Flesh Horse as a catalyst. Good work!

      1. Thank you so much! I’m really glad you enjoyed it so much. This one was pretty fun to write.

    2. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Okay…this one got me to genuinely laugh out loud.

      “They had to push down the fear and disgust as they took in all the muscles and the sinew and the horror of what was before them. It was their only path to survival. For no one outruns… the Flesh Horse…”
      –This was the first line that made me laugh.

      I love the juxtaposition between the terrifying (and well) described book with Daisy saying it’s not scary. I think it’s made extra funny because the story captures both our reverent and our joking attitudes from the stream

      “It’s a horse. You’re trying to scare me with a horse.”
      “The Flesh Horse is the personification of terror!”
      “If you say so.”
      –Amazing XD

      “A horse with flesh is just a normal horse, right?”
      Jasmine grit her teeth. “It’s a horse without flesh! That’s the point!”
      “Why is a horse without flesh called a flesh horse? It should be called a… muscle horse. Or a bone horse. Well… maybe not a bone horse…”
      –Hahahaha I love it!!
      It’s more like it’s without skin…but saying “the flesh horse is without flesh” is way funnier.

      “It doesn’t talk with its lips! It talks directly into your mind! Prolonged exposure to its voice drives you mad!”
      –Okay…I wouldn’t be surprised if this was actually canon in Arith’s universe

      I gotta hand it to Jasmine, that spider story is genuinely scary…

      It’s nice to see the two of them having an actually cute interaction. This is a rarity–or even a first–for a Daisy story.

      Love it!!

    3. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      I love how this deals with how over-examination of an idea can make it not function anymore. Yeah, most horror elements, when we really get to them, are kind of ridiculous. There is a very precise dosage on how to expose an idea for it to work on a (pardon my pun) visceral level.

      What strikes me the most in this story is how fluid is the dialogue. I can just envision it happening.

      Though I’d be wary in dismissing such a thing as the Flesh Horse. This can end badly…

      1. Thank you! I’m so glad the dialogue came off so strongly. As you said, that’s a big part of the story and I tried to make it sound very natural.

        As for dismissing the Flesh Horse not ending well for Daisy? Well… there is a reason I chose this character. I might have arguably one other character who has worst luck ahead of them but let’s just say if you were to say the Flesh Horse was unamused and cursed her, it would definitely fit with her story from here on out.

    4. Oh my. Pre-Alex Daisy and Jasmine being…almost wholesome? What a treat!

      It’s kind of sad that Daisy is more afraid of some arachnid from Austrailia, than The Flesh Horse. She truly most not understand the true magnificence of its glory and horror.

      I’m curious which is “more canon” to your universe. This story about a book of scary stories… Or an eldritch demon and broken angel witnessing the not yet fully formed horse of Death.

      I do love the exasperation of Jasmine trying to explain it.
      In a pinch, you could say, “there is no bone. Only flesh.” But I like how there seems to be a few stories where Flesh Horse is carnivorous.
      “It will devoured not only your mind but your soul as well! You cannot escape it, for it is always with us. Only pray it does not choose you.”

  16. Dagmar Makara (dystop) Avatar
    Dagmar Makara (dystop)

    The Appearance of a Flesh Horse – Year 1672
    by Dystop

    Muscle connected to brawn, tissue, tendons and visceral marrow. Ligaments stretched the viscera of the magnificent creature. It was all at once grisly, and all at once a spectacle.

    The Flesh Horse had appeared in town.

    There weren’t many witnesses to its ethereal beauty. But those that saw it could not shake the daymares. The sleep paralysis of the equine visitor. Arising from the floor could be classified as night-terrors. If– they actually inspired terror. This was something else. The bowstrings of the local archers nervously twitched against a hidden figure. Something seen only clandestine in the shade.

    The village was uneasy. The few who had seen the vision of the horse, beseeched the nervous townsfolk to lower their crossbows.

    This was some kind of spiritual visitation. An unworldly apparition all at once intimidating but sacred and divine. The temples in the hills supported their wariness.

    Amongst the etchings of things which had passed, passing, and things yet to pass– the so-called Flesh Horse belonged in the latter category. Engravings like a wanted poster. Dead-accurate. The denizens didn’t dare challenge an omen. They knew better than to challenge fate itself.

    But many wondered, what did this brawny, taut spirit of cavalry want with them? And why now? Easterfest had ended. There were no significant dates upcoming. And yet, at the stroke of midnight, the “Flesh Horse”, or its true name as it spoke– “flǣsc equinus” reared its head in the market square – bedazzling onlookers who gazed with might and fright.

    For the first time it spoke. Not via mouth, as many had expected – but via the collective minds of everyone present. A scholar recognised it as French.

    « Salutations, habitants de Kindkerg – tu as ma protection en tant qu’esprit gardien de cette forêt »

    The Scholar hurriedly translated. “People of Kinderg, as the guardian spirit of this forest, I am your protector”.

    Before he could finish– a blinding light as the Flesh Horse seemed to rend, tear asunder, cleave and reweave. The forest lit up with a thousand fireflies. And the village knew peace.

    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      This is so cool, Dystop!! I absolutely adore the way you described the Flesh Horse and its walk through town.

      I also love the fact that you went with the more positive and spiritual aspects of The Flesh Horse. Seems like a lot of folks (understandably) are going after the more physical and horrifying aspects of it, but I love that you came from the angle of its presence being a blessing rather than a curse.

      “The Flesh Horse had appeared in town”
      –This line made me smile

      “There weren’t many witnesses to its ethereal beauty.”
      –I love how you call it something beautiful, when the first paragraph probably would not seem beautiful to most. It’s a neat juxtaposition

      “But those that saw it could not shake the daymares. The sleep paralysis of the equine visitor.”
      –This phrasing is so melodic and poetic, while also retaining a scariness, I love it so much

      “If– they actually inspired terror. This was something else.”
      –Again, I love this clarification

      “The bowstrings of the local archers nervously twitched against a hidden figure.”
      –This is really vivid, I can easily imagine it

      “This was some kind of spiritual visitation. An unworldly apparition all at once intimidating but sacred and divine.”
      –Again, love that you capitalized on this aspect of the Flesh Horse

      “Amongst the etchings of things which had passed, passing, and things yet to pass– the so-called Flesh Horse belonged in the latter category.”
      –And I also love that you called attention to time, and made The Flesh Horse seem even more ethereal because it fits into the *future*–something inherently unknown.

      “For the first time it spoke. Not via mouth, as many had expected – but via the collective minds of everyone present.”
      –Love this idea. I could potentially even see this being true in Arith’s canon

      “a blinding light as the Flesh Horse seemed to rend, tear asunder, cleave and reweave. The forest lit up with a thousand fireflies. And the village knew peace.”
      –I can feel the beauty and peace in this image. This is a great example of how to use telling well. Your last line is a telling “And the village knew peace” but it works really well after you described evocatively the action in the previous two sentences, and it makes for a great last line.

      I have some smaller, more technical critiques, but I honestly don’t think they’re that important to say. The biggest question/critique I had was…why French? It kinda made the Flesh Horse feel less like a transcendent, otherworldly being to have it speak in French, especially since the village didn’t seem to know French, and it was speaking inside their minds. If it was speaking in an alien, eldritch tongue, or if everyone heard it speak in their native language in their minds, or if it simply spoke in the same language the tale overall was written in…I feel like any of those would retain the idea of this being an awesome otherworldly being more. So I’m curious what made you decide to go for French instead.

      Wonderful job!!

      1. Dagmar Makara (dystop) Avatar
        Dagmar Makara (dystop)

        Thanks for the response!

        As for the French I just happen to know it, but now I’m looking at it – Flesh Horse is speaking modern French in 1672, despite saying the town’s name in Middle-German (Kinderg) and referring to his own name (well, we the audience get this, at least – flǣsc equinus, which was more Gaellic/Latin mix). Perhaps he stretches across time and picks what languages he fancies?

    2. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      This certainly went into directions quite different than anything I’d expect it to. I particularly love how unsure everything seems at the beginning, that apparition being something that makes everyone stop and wonder what they should be doing… and from there, it gets even more strange. And strangely beautiful.

      But the thing to me, really, was that when I read daymares and the connection mare/horse became clear… I just laughed out loud, and that’s not something that usually happen.

      This is a delightful tale, Dystop. It paints a very striking picture, and the wording and tone are very fitting to a kind of holy record of a mystery.

      1. Dagmar Makara (dystop) Avatar
        Dagmar Makara (dystop)

        I’m glad someone caught the mare reference! I thought everyone else had missed it.

        Thankyou for the kind words 🙂

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