Tale Foundry

Writing Group: The Glass Sword

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by

thetalefoundry
in ,

Hello, Fighters from all walks of life!

Have you ever experienced anything that was really scary? And even though you stayed strong in that moment, once it ended, you realized how terrified you really were? Maybe in a battle or something? If you have the time, I’d like to hear of your experiences, because…

This week’s Writing Group prompt is:

The Glass Sword

RULES AND GUIDELINES BELOW!
Make sure you scroll down and read them if you haven’t! You may not be eligible if you don’t!

This prompt has been in the running for a while, and what a prompt it is! Now, a prompt like this might seem very basic, limited even. But that’s not the case at all.

Of course, you’re welcome to take the literal route. Perhaps you choose a lone adventurer, pressing on through their travels in search of a fabled weapon. Why do they seek it? To overthrow the ruler of their land? To protect their home from an enemy they thought long gone? Or were they just sent to get the sword for a large sum of money in return? Maybe you choose a king’s loyal knight, his most trusted warrior and their sole unique weapon, which has ended many a war. Does the knight learn something terrible and great about the king they fought for without question, and turn their sword on him? Do they finally crumble in a great battle? If so, perhaps their sword finally shatters… or is picked up by a new master, determined to follow in the knight’s footsteps.

There’s plenty of literal ways to write this prompt. But, as is the case with most, if we just tilt our heads and squint a little, there’s something else a prompt like this can mean.

It doesn’t have to be literal at all. You could choose to write about a mage, fighting in an incredible battle against a mighty foe. Seeing that they and their party are losing, they decide to use the one spell they only ever saved for emergencies to even the odds… even if it results in them being unable to fight on any longer. Perhaps you choose someone finally standing up for themselves to a bully, but the conflict leaves them drained and trembling, as they knew they had to finally say something, but feared the response. Maybe you choose someone who is normally very guarded finally managing to visit a therapist, and that strong, prickly facade crumbling as they at last get to pour their heart out. Or perhaps you choose to write about the friend who stays strong for everyone around them, yet at home, by themselves, falls apart from the weight of their own problems. Because while they know how to be open for others, they cannot open up to others about their own issues out of fear or anxiety.

So see, while the literal sense can be fun, there’s an underlying meaning to this prompt.

Strong, but fragile. 

Now, take up your pens, quills, and keyboards. Arm yourselves, and write us a journey unlike any other. Good luck, and Godspeed.

—Shawna

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Remember, this is part of our weekly Writing Group stream! Submit a little piece following the rules and guidelines below, and there’s a chance your entry will be read live on stream! In addition, we’ll discuss it for a minute and give you some feedback.

Tune into the stream this Saturday at 3:00pm CST to see if you made the cut!

The whole purpose of this is to show off the creativity of the community, while also helping each other to become better writers. Lean into that spirit! Get ready not just to share what you’ve got, but to give back to the other writers here as well.

Rules and Guidelines

We read at least four stories during each stream, two of which come from the public post, and two of which come from the much smaller private post. Submissions are randomly selected by a bot, but likes on your post will improve your chances of selection, so be sure to share your submission on social media!

  1. Text and Formatting

    1. English only.
    2. Prose only, no poetry or lyrics.
    3. Use proper spelling, grammar, and syntax.
    4. Your piece must be between 250-350 words (you can use this website to see your wordcount).
    5. Use two paragraph breaks between each paragraph so that they have a proper space between them (press “enter” or “return” twice).
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  2. What to Submit

    1. Keep submissions “safe-for-work”; be sparing with sexuality, violence, and profanity.
    2. Try to focus on making your submission a single meaningful moment rather than an entire story.
    3. Write something brand new; no re-submitting past entries or pieces written for other purposes
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    5. Submissions must be self-contained (everything essential to understanding the piece is contained within the context of the piece itself—no mandatory reading outside the piece required. e.g., if you want to write two different pieces in the same setting or larger narrative, you cannot rely on information from one piece to fill in for the other—they must both give that context independently).

  3. Submission Rules

    1. One submission per participant.
    2. Submit your entry in a comment on this post.
    3. Submissions close at 12:00pm CST each Friday.
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    5. Be constructive and uplifting. These submissions are not for a professional market, and shouldn’t be treated as such. We do this, first and foremost, for the joy of the craft. Help other writers to feel like their work is valuable, and be considerate and gentle with critique when you offer it. Authors who leave particularly abrasive or disheartening remarks on this post will be disqualified from selection for readings.
    6. Use the same e-mail for your posts, reviews, and likes, or you may be rendered ineligible (you may change your username or author name between posts without problem, however).
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Comments on this post that aren’t submissions will be deleted, except for replies/reviews left on existing submissions.

Comments

119 responses to “Writing Group: The Glass Sword”

  1. King_Nix Avatar
    King_Nix

    “Fragile Alliances”
    By King_Nix

    The Sun set once more on the unforgiving Winter of the Ukraine. Beneath a facade of calm, Arthur raged. The plans for his Crusade had been halted when the Russian broke their truce. It had taken the full might of the Holy Roman Empire, in addition to swift negotiations with Bazorig Khan of Mongolia and the raising of a whole three new Legions, to merely halt the Russian advance. That was two years ago, and the Empire’s forces had only this morning taken hold of Crimea.

    “My absence has emboldened these rebels,” said Björn. “What good to you are my oaths if my kingdom is destroyed because of them?” More complications. Swedish and Finnish insurgents had taken advantage of the war to make a bid for independence. Now every day, Scandinavian forces were being bled from the Russian frontier to put them down.

    “I understand, my son,” Arthur took some satisfaction at the face Björn, twenty-odd years his elder, made, “but will it be necessary to deprive the front of the entire Varangian Guard?”

    “I wouldn’t ask if I thought otherwise.”

    Arthur sighed. “Then your new orders are to take the Legion to Scandinavia and deal with the rebels swiftly – mercifully if you can manage it, you represent Rome, after all. God be with you, my son. You are dismissed.” With a nod, Björn left.

    “The men won’t like this,” Arthur’s brother Renault, silent until now, said. “The line’s already stretched too thin, and without your guards you’ll be exposed.”

    “I’ll manage it. The Varangians are indispensable, and cut through the enemy like a blade that never dulls. Yet, our alliance is tenuous – should I push too hard or attempt to bend Björn’s will, the blade will shatter like the finest crystal, and the shards will rip through the alliances of Holy Rome and unmake everything we’ve striven to build.”

    “And if he forgets his oaths regardless, with your armies occupied, and decides to wait out the war?”

    “That’s why I’ve decided to send you as my personal representative. Take a Century of the American Legion as an honor guard. It’ll be a good show of support from the Emperor.” A hesitant nod from Renault was all Arthur needed. He smiled, “And besides, I’m sure you’ll appreciate the opportunity to see Eira again.”

    Scowling, Renault said. “I’ll start making the arrangements then. God be with you.” With that, he was gone, leaving Arthur alone.
    Yes. Tying Björn to him by blood might just rectify this whole mess.

    Reply
  2. EddySc Avatar
    EddySc

    The Lone Tree
    By Alexsander Edwards (EddySc)

    Four men circled the lone elder like hungry wolves. Each wielding their own weapon and grinning menacingly as they looked at their victim-to-be’s long robes and impeccably polished wooden rings and necklace.

    The old man, for his part, held onto a thin walking stick with trembling hands, his long white beard nearly touching the ground, painting an image that fit more a corpse than an actual living being.

    “Give over your stuff, old man!” one of the thieves yelled. “If it’s worth coin, you live. No tricking us, you hear?”

    “Uram.”

    The elder barely opened his mouth, though the voice appeared to come from the entire forest encircling them, as a strong thunderstorm suddenly formed, covering everything in darkness.

    “Gebo.”

    In a flash, the man’s feeble walking stick turned into a tall yew staff adorned with a gem constantly switching between many colors. The elder looked up at the bandits and continued his incantations without blinking.

    “Dagaz.”

    A strong light followed, blinding his assailants. The man pointed his left hand at one of them.

    “Raido Ansuz.”

    The thief suddenly flew backwards, a wisp of light leaving his body towards the skies. Before the other men could understand what happened, the elder continued his barrage.

    “Sowilo.”

    A ball of flame engulfed another bandit, burning him alive.

    “Isaz.”

    The elder pointed his staff at another thief, freezing his attacker in place.

    “Laguz.”

    The final man dropped to his knees in realization. “Oh gods, what have we-”

    The man stopped mid-sentence, grabbing his neck and gasping desperately for air before fully collapsing, as water spurted from his mouth.

    Content that none remained to challenge him, the old man transformed his staff back into a simple walking stick and continued his journey through the world as a feeble hermit. Where he’d stood for the entire encounter, a series of engravings now marked the ground.

    ᚢ ᚷ ᛞ ᚱ ᚨ ᛋ ᛁ ᛚ
    U G D R A S I L

    Reply
    1. Lunabear Avatar
      Lunabear

      Oh this is a really action packed, fun one, Eddy. I absolutely love the “looks feeble but is really an awesome badass” trope. It’s so engaging when it comes to displaying what abilities they have. I believe one of my favorite parts is that he uses a different spell for each bandit. That is a beautiful way of showing off his range of power while also keeping the story flowing.

      I’m intrigued by the language that you use in this piece. Did you make it up, or is it from somewhere else? Also, are the markings near the tree where he stood an indication that he was there? Or do they serve a greater functionality yet to be seen?

      It is very obvious that the old man himself is the glass sword. He appears weak and fragile, but he is quite strong, surprisingly so. I love how he doesn’t waste movement or energy. It shows how trained and dedicated his to his magic and his craft and protecting himself.

      Critiques:

      The final man dropped to his knees in realization. “Oh gods, what have we-,(omit)” (B)efore he could finish his sentence, he grabbed his neck, trying to breathe to no avail, before falling to the ground as water spurted from his mouth. (Also, you write that this particular bandit falls to the ground twice. Omitting either one works fine, depending on what vibe you’re going for.)

      Aside from the above critiques, I’ve got only praise for the story. It is quite fantastical and magical and wondrous with a little bit of danger thrown in for good measure. I’m not sure why, but your story is always take me by surprise and some of the best ways. I definitely look forward to them each week. I cannot wait to see what you post next. Thank you so very much for writing and sharing this one!

      Reply
      1. EddySc Avatar
        EddySc

        Well, thank you!

        And, in fact, yes, there is meaning there!
        So, before I explain *what* I did, let it be known: this is not historically accurate AT ALL and I’m (a) taking a lot of liberties with how magic was seen by these people and (b) doing some anachronistic stuff here that I’ll explain better below.

        The “magic spells” are actually the names of different runes of the Elder Futhark (or the “Elder Runic Alphabet” as people call it casually). Each of those names having its own meaning that relates to the spell – “Uram” is water/rain, “Gebo” is gift, “Dagaz” is day, etc.

        Those runes he chants are the same ones that appear where he stood, and they spell out “UGDRASIL”, which is where we get into the anachronistic stuff:
        My idea is that this man is a personification of the world tree Yggdrasil (with the different types of magic and the different colors of the orb that adorns his staff representing the Nine Realms that are said to surround the world tree in myth) – I did mention on Discord how this was a mix between this prompt and “The Walking Tree,” after all.
        However, Yggdrasil is an Old Norse word with no definitive prior etymology, while the Elder Futhark was used to write Proto-Norse (the script for Old Norse was a more recent script called Younger Futhark), so I had to make some adaptations (and went for “Uram” rather than “Isaz” for the first letter because the Uram rune eventually became the Úr rune in the Younger Futhark, where it does act as a Y).
        I did that solely for artistic reasons, as the Elder Futhark’s runes sound more majestic and have longer names, while the Younger Futhark’s runes’ names are shorter and might not showcase the fact that those are meant to act as spells as well.

        Reply
    2. The Missing Link Avatar
      The Missing Link

      So funny thing, before I read the comments, I was going to ask if it was Elder or Younger Futhark. I don’t know a lot about Norse magic and absorb most of my knowledge of the mythology from some grad students I talk to who specialize in it.

      The thing I was wondering through the whole thing was if the old man was Odin since he’s practiced in runic magic, which if I’m remembering my sources correctly was more generally practiced by women. Odin also has a habit of disguising himself as an unassuming old man.

      Regardless of whether or not it’s Odin, this was a fun short piece, and my critiques on wording are relatively minor to the point they’re not particularly worth mentioning beyond the first paragraph feeling a bit awkward to read. There were also a few mistakes on commas, but that’s not really so important in fiction.

      Reply
      1. EddySc Avatar
        EddySc

        Nice catch with Odin! But no, I intended it to be a personified Yggdrasil (hence the story’s title and the fact that all of his jewelry is made of wood).
        The idea is still tied to Odin, though, since it’s said that Odin learned the art of runic magic by hanging himself on Yggdrasil’s branches and eventually the runes just “fell” on him.

        Thanks for the feedback regarding commas either way, and I’m glad you enjoyed it!

        Reply
    3. Makokam Avatar
      Makokam

      This feels like a story that when the Norse told it around a campfire a thousand years ago…the ending resulted in the “I’m about to end this man’s whole career” meme.

      I’m sorry, my brain isn’t working too good tonight. I can’t come up with anything else. If there’s anything specific you’d like to know my thoughts on, please ask. Direct questioning is probably the only way I’ll get a coherent thought out.

      Reply
  3. The Missing Link Avatar
    The Missing Link

    The Sword in the…Glass?

    By The Missing Link

    Arthur stared up at the legendary blade. It was a bit different than he was told, well more than a bit. He could see the full blade through the stone. This gave him pause, but every hero needs a sword. All the legends, all the fairy tales, all the heroes had swords. He couldn’t be the only one without. No, Arthur felt he had been chosen by this one in particular. It gleamed in its encasement as he put his hand upon the stone, smooth, almost flawless save a gash off to the side.

    There was something magical about it, this sword Arthur’s dreams had told him must be pulled from the stone. Stories told around bedtime flashed through his head, “Whoever pulls the sword from the stone shall be king. He knew he would be a good king. Of what, where… he had no idea. However, what he was sure of was that as king, he would save the world. As for how… he’d cross that bridge when he got there.

    For now, he had to focus on the task at hand, to free the sword from the stone. He thought on names as he scoped the stone for weaknesses, Durandal? No, too French. Excalibur, too dry. “It needs a name,” he mumbled as he found a hard sphere a few feet from the base of the stone, another bridge to cross later. He had figured out how to free his destiny.

    Arthur lifted the sphere and prepared to throw it when a loud voice broke out across the room, “Hands off the exhibit kid.”

    Reply
    1. EddySc Avatar
      EddySc

      I like the twist a lot. A kid daydreaming about being powerful and strong always strikes a chord with me, personally. The only thing that comes to my mind as criticism of the story itself is that maybe some of the foreshadowing was a bit too obvious, but them’s the breaks with short stories like these, I suppose.

      On another note, though, I noticed a couple moments where I think the grammar could be improved:
      In the first line, maybe “It was a bit different than he was told. Well, more than a bit.” would work better, if I understood what you were going for?
      Also, in the second paragraph, you forgot to close the quote in “Whoever pulls the sword from the stone shall be king.”

      Reply
      1. The Missing Link Avatar
        The Missing Link

        I really should have noticed the quote there, thanks for pointing it out. The foreshadowing was hard to find a balance for with trying to really dive into a kid’s daydreams while not ruining the joke. Thank you for the feedback.

        Reply
    2. Jennifer L Vanderputten Avatar
      Jennifer L Vanderputten

      This was delightful! The title is very well chosen, too. I enjoyed the part where he was thinking of names, his musing that he’d be a great king despite the fact that he didn’t know where or what he would be king of. The ending was so vivid in my mind!

      Reply
      1. The Missing Link Avatar
        The Missing Link

        Thanks. I’m pretty new to this kind of tone, but I’m glad you liked how it turned out.

        Reply
    3. Lunabear Avatar
      Lunabear

      I like this take on Arthur, Missing Link. Him fantasizing about being king-no matter of where or who- and wanting to be a good one so he can save the world is really great. It also may speak to how he feels lacking or simply wanting something more, something greater than he has now. Totally relatable.

      The reveal at the end left me chuckling. I love the subversion, but it by no means diminishes the longing from little Arthur. It’s kind of sweet in a way.

      The glass sword is obvious-the sword in the case. I do also really enjoy how he tries to name to sword. The Excalibur bit made me smile.

      The only critiques I have are the unfinished quote (there are no closing quotation marks), and the last line: “Hands off the exhibit(,) kid.” Honestly, though, I think that’s just me being nitpicky. Overall, this story is thoroughly enjoyable and sweet and wholesome. I can’t wait to see what you post next. Thank you so much for writing and sharing this.

      Reply
  4. Oathgiver Avatar
    Oathgiver

    The Unintended Test
    By Oathgiver

    She carefully heaved against the heavy wooden doors. Once they were open enough for her to slip though, she stopped, and stepped inside the ancient chamber. It looked still, without all the torches lit, all the decorations were gone. A remnant of the heavy smelling incense lingered like a memory of honor and glory. A single shaft of moonlight shone down from the opening in the top of the dome. it shone on the weathered flagstone floor. But not in the place of honor, no. The ceremony was nearly two months ago. And even in this dim moon light she could see the blade. It seemed to have a faint light all its own. she had never noticed it in the past. All the torch light and smoke from the incense masked its gentile radiance. It almost had a twinkle, like starlight. Like silver blue starlight.

    Without realizing it she found herself standing at the altar. She shook her head for a moment to bring her mind back to the present. Looking cautiously over her shoulder. Olney a sliver of torch light far behind her, gave any indication that the rest of the world existed. She turned back to the crystalline blade.

    As she looked on it, memories started to flood her mind. In so many years past, so many warriors have held this blade as their final test. And not all had passed. Nearly all grimaced upon grasping the haft, some broke out in a cold sweat, others cried out, and some faltered. Dropping to their knees, jaw clenched. In the heavy haze of these memories she did not notice that her own hand was now slowly drifting toward the grip of the sacred weapon. As an indifferent, cold wind urged her hand forward.

    Olney half a moment too late did she realize what was happening. Before she could recall her hand it was on the haft of the sacred blade, fixed there as by an unseen force. From somewhere in history thousands of voices spoke as one in her mind. “THE TEST HAS BEGUN”

    Reply
    1. Lunabear Avatar
      Lunabear

      This is a suspenseful tale, Oathgiver. I like that you lay out the origin of this weapon and show the different effects it has when people come into contact with it. It’s also really awesome how you show the main character as curious and adventurous without saying it. She’s aware of the danger of touching the sword, but she can’t resist.

      It seems that anyone who touches the weapon, whether it be during the ceremony or no, is considered a testing participant. That’s interesting. Or perhaps it’s only her because she has something yet to be discovered within her. It’s also quite curious that she doesn’t receive any of the aforementioned effects when touching the sword. Hmmmmmmm.

      I find it fascinating that this particular glass sword isn’t fragile like it would appear. Perhaps the painful touch of the haft is one of its defense mechanisms? Very well done!

      Critiques:

      Olney (Only) a sliver of torch light far behind her,(omit) gave any indication that the rest of the world existed.

      Olney (Only) half a moment too late did she realize what was happening.

      Your story could use some technical refining. There are choppy, incomplete sentences, misplaced commas, and lack of capitalization at the beginning of some sentences. This made it a bit difficult to follow at points. Perhaps a proofreader or other resources could help you strengthen these areas? But please, please keep writing. Practicing is one of the best ways to improve.

      Despite the above critiques, I would definitely love to see more of your storytelling. You build atmosphere so very well, as well as paint quite an enticing picture. Your descriptions are so immersive. I am excited to see what you post next. Thank you so very much for writing and sharing this one!

      Reply
  5. Alan Baker Avatar
    Alan Baker

    Pride
    By Alan Baker

    I will not lower this mask I wear. I will not show the broken life I live. I put on a play for them to see. A perfect life, a perfect lie.

    The Devil laughs.

    Even if I see they too are broken, my guard I do not lower. Is it their judgment I now fear, even when before they did not laugh? What has changed since last we shared our troubles? What stands between us sharing truth? The sin that topples nations.

    The Devil laughs.

    To march in winter in summer clothes. Condemn a man to keep one’s face. Let millions bleed to feed our lies. Poison truth to hide one’s bonds. This is our world. This is my life.

    The Devil laughs.

    Small battles I may have won. In six sins, I am repentant. One hides and grows within my soul, for years unseen or left unchecked.

    The Devil laughs.

    I forge it into every word I speak. I carry it to conquer lands I never wanted, to beat down those who have already lost.

    The Devil laughs.

    This sin, I have not shared. The sin holds me down. Its roots so long, I cannot pull them up alone. Sunk so deep they hold my world.

    The Devil Laughs.

    It is the dagger at my throat. With it, he cuts away my fighting words. Laughing as I walk away from those who might help burn my pride away. To smash the dagger at my throat. To build my house on solid stone.

    And so he laughs forevermore.

    Reply
    1. Lunabear Avatar
      Lunabear

      Alan, I really love the escalation of this piece! At first, the main character is merely an observer to everything that is happening. It’s bad, and he does his best to counter that as well as keep his sinful nature in check. He succeeds in all but one, as the title so plainly expresses.

      But then, as the story progresses, the main character eventually meets the devil, then later BECOMES the devil because he can’t shake that pride. This is an excellent woven story. The glass sword in this case, I believe, is his losing battle with pride. It started out manageable, but it became tenuous the more he indulged in it and the less he tried to dissuade it. In the end, it is his very undoing, and all he can do is laugh.

      ~A perfect life, a perfect lie.~ Right off the bat, this part reminds me of a song by the Christian rock band, Red, called Perfect Life. It is seriously one of my favorite songs by them.

      ~I forge it into every word I speak. I carry it to conquer lands I never wanted, to beat down those who have already lost.~ This one FASCINATES me. Pride is calling the main character to do things he would never do otherwise. Even if he has to subjugate the weak to feel strong and powerful, he does it for the sake of his hubris.

      Your stories always bring a religious element to them, and that’s quite enjoyable with the way that you write them. They aren’t preachy, but they aren’t watered down either. I think it’s a very great balance that you’ve achieved. I am really truly excited to see what you post next time. Thank you so very much for writing and sharing this one.

      Reply
    2. Jennifer L Vanderputten Avatar
      Jennifer L Vanderputten

      Oh, the denial, the arrogance, the fall, the realization, the fear, the desperation. Like the stages of grief, this one grieves the loss of… themself? Their soul? Whatever it is, the loss is profoundly clear, and we feel it with them. I love the structure here, punctuating each stage with the Devil’s heartless and chilling response.

      Reply
  6. Lunabear Avatar
    Lunabear

    Rancor Chips Away
    by Lunabear

    This was Tibbin’s most hated time of year. It only brought cold; it lacked happiness and cheer. No trimmings adorned the empty hearth. There were no gifts nor trees; nothing of mirth.

    He slouched with a sneer. No loved ones, as they didn’t want him near.

    ‘Your fault’, their haunting voices echoed. ‘You were terribly selfish! You hurt us so!’

    Tibbin launched the glass from his hand, amber liquid and shards raining upon the bricks.

    “See if I care, you great sniveling twits!”

    Four successive knocks resounded from the door.

    “Who dares to intrude,” he barked, his bare feet finding the floor.

    An uppercut from the icy wind, but to its will, he did not bend. A lone package lay on his stair. Upon it, he visited his most hateful glare.

    It was addressed to him with no other name. Tibbin’s scowl deepened. “What is this game?!”

    With reluctance, and because of the chilly bite, he brought the package out of the unforgiving night.

    Setting it on a nearby table, he racked his brain. His thoughts collided like speeding trains.

    He pondered aloud, “Is this an illusion?” He stroked his jaw. “No,” he mused. It didn’t explain this festive inclusion.

    “It could be a trick,” he relented. “They never TRULY believed me,” he further consented.

    His emotions stoked higher, Tibbin gathered materials for a fire.

    “This would be just like them!” he bellowed while striking a match. Grabbing the package, his plan he wished to enact.

    One tear along its wrapping gave him pause. “That’s queer,” he whispered, staring in awe.

    Unwrapping it fully and opening the box, Tibbin’s mouth fell open in shock.

    “Is this true,” he exclaimed, his voice holding such denial. It was a kaleidoscope with colors meant to beguile.

    Passed from his mother’s father, Tibbin had cherished it. Until it was stolen by Robbie, the foul little git!

    A note within the box explained how Robbie had felt great shame. He hoped his wrong could be amended, for he longed to see the brother he had offended.

    Tibbin’s bitterness fled; memories of home filled his head.

    Reply
    1. Makokam Avatar
      Makokam

      Oh! I like this. I like this a lot. It feels like Poe meets Suess.

      Not joking about the Poe thing either. Feels kind of like The Raven and The Grinch.

      I can’t really place what the glass sword is though. Could be the kaleidoscope, or the glass he through…of even the wind. The kaleidoscope seems the most probable though.

      Was he going to burn the package?

      There was something else I was going to say but I’ve lost it. I’ll let you know if I ever rethink of it.

      Reply
      1. Lunabear Avatar
        Lunabear

        Thank you! I was not thinking of Poe or Dr. Seuss at all when I wrote this, but those are sincerely two of the most honored and highest compliments I’ve ever gotten on my writing!

        You could take the story at face value, or you could look at it more metaphorically. Say, in his relationship with his family. If it’s more literal that you’re looking for a common then I’m pretty sure the kaleidoscope is the best bet.

        Yes. He most certainly WAS going to burn the package.

        No worries about remembering what you forgot. Whether you remember it or not, I’m very happy and gladdened that you left a review. And I’m so glad you enjoyed the story!

        Reply
    2. EddySc Avatar
      EddySc

      Very, very Christmass-y, this one!
      I had a bit of trouble with the rhyming at first – I’m not sure if it’s my accent or my lack of experience with speaking or hearing certain English words, but it took me a few lines to get that it was all rhyming. After I got past that, however, I really enjoyed this one, despite not really being one for Christmas tales.
      By the end, it felt kinda like “what if Dr. Seuss wrote something closer to A Christmas Carol than How The Grinch Stole Christmas.” Very nicely executed!

      Reply
      1. Lunabear Avatar
        Lunabear

        Thank you so very much for your review, Eddy. This one is an experimental piece for me. It was fun and challenging. No worries about not catching on to the rhyming at first; I know a few people had trouble with it, too. Thank you very much for the compliment. I’m honored.

        Reply
    3. The Missing Link Avatar
      The Missing Link

      I really like the feel of couplets in the rhymes here. Even without a specific meter, it gives a pleasant bounce to the prose. The tonal clash between that bounce and the subject matter of this sad, lonely man really draws you in. I really like this for the season. It feels like Scrooge meeting the Ghost of Christmas Past, but in a more personal way since it’s coming from people he’s pushed away and felt wounded by rather than otherworldly spirits trying to scare him straight.

      On minor criticisms which probably don’t matter to anyone else, but the couplets leave me looking for a meter that I’m not finding. That’s not particularly important, just something my brain focuses on.

      Reply
      1. Lunabear Avatar
        Lunabear

        Thank you so very much for your review and feedback. I guess A Christmas Carol was really on my mind when writing this. I also appreciate you saying that the “ghosts” in this case are more personal because of his family.

        As for the meter, I gave it a bit of leniency, I realize now, because this is prose instead of traditional poetry. I’m glad you pointed it out, as I am very sorry about the lack of meter. Should I attempt this particular type of storytelling again, I’ll do my best to make sure there’s a readable pattern. Thank you again, and I’m glad you enjoyed.

        Reply
  7. Makokam Avatar
    Makokam

    Get it? (Chronicles of The Dragon)
    By Makokam

    The fireplace was gas, but that didn’t make it any less nice. It made it feel very…homey. But in a not horrible way.

    The wine helped. As did Charles’s arm around her.

    Well, not like home. Better than home.

    Home.

    Kat looked around the penthouse. Was this her home now? She had certainly spent enough time here. And she didn’t really have a home outside of this place. But was this her home now?

    “What are you thinking about?”

    She considered it for a moment before nestling against him. “Home.”

    “You don’t talk about your home much,” he said, sitting up straighter.

    “And I’m not going to,” she said, and sipped her wine with a smirk.

    He started to move out from under her and she could tell he was going to get serious on her. She stood up and walked across the room and started looking at the art pieces and collectibles.

    One that always caught her attention but she hadn’t asked about was a sword that seemed to be made of glass sitting in a case.

    “You like that one, don’t you?” he asked her.

    “I like weapons,” she said. “And this might be the most beautiful one I’ve ever seen.”

    “Funny thing about that. It’s not a weapon.”

    She paused. “What do you mean?”

    “Well, what do you think would happen if you tried to use it like one?”

    She gave the sword a closer look. It was very sharp, but also very… “It’d probably break as soon as you tried to swing it. Let alone hit anything.”

    “Exactly. So what is it?”

    “It’s just an art piece then.”

    “Wrong.”

    She looked back at him. “What is it then?”

    “It’s a metaphor.”

    She looked even more confused than before.

    “To not destroy yourself trying to get what you want.”

    Reply
    1. C. M. Weller Avatar
      C. M. Weller

      Huzzah! The first piece I’ve seen where there’s a literal glass sword instead of a metaphorical one 😀 I’m so glad I’m not alone any more.

      …even though it is also a metaphor AS WELL as being a physical thing…

      Little additions of Home and Hearth for last time? It works anyway.

      Reply
      1. Makokam Avatar
        Makokam

        Oh I had so many ideas…I had a few. Most involving an actual glass sword. Some were magical. And there was “Operation Glass Sword”. But didn’t really like any of them enough to write it.
        Then this came to me and I didn’t know if it made sense but whatever. I finally had a story to write.

        And is there some home and hearth in here? Hadn’t considered that when writing but yes. Makes me wish I’d thought of that opening for last time.

        Regardless, I’m happy to have provided you with some company in regards to writing about an ACTUAL glass sword. And I’m VERY happy you thought it worked.

        Reply
    2. Josie Avatar
      Josie

      My bf calls me a glass cannon. More often than not he’s gotta search and rescue me because I’m blinded by the goal and go in guns blazing.

      Reply
    3. Marx Avatar
      Marx

      I DO get it lol. This story is pretty fun and as it’s been said before, it was pretty cool to see the glass sword be both literal and metaphorical. The fact that this one isn’t even a glass canon of sorts makes it even more interesting. It can’t even be used as a sword in the first place, so it’s not a one shot and that’s it situation, but that’s not the point. It’s a message. A warning. And the fact that it’s beautiful just goes along with that. Excellent take on the prompt.

      Reply
    4. Lunabear Avatar
      Lunabear

      I like this, Mako. There’s a laid-back nervous energy to it. She can’t settle because she’s probably used to moving around a lot. It’s also obvious that she hasn’t had a real home, which is why her thinking about it goes back and forth so much and she can’t seem to calm herself in that regard.

      Charles seems like one of those artsy types. He philosophizes all day, but he also seems to really care about her. Also, who is she?

      I like that it’s both a glass sword and a metaphor. That’s pretty cool double layering.

      Critiques:

      He started to move out from under her and she could tell her (he) was going to get serious on her.

      She looked back at him. “What is it then. (?)”

      I’m actually intrigued to know more about Charles as well as this woman he’s with. I am very excited to see more. Thank you so very much for writing and sharing this.

      Reply
      1. Makokam Avatar
        Makokam

        Hmm… Maybe I should go and edit in her name. For some reason I didn’t feel like naming her…but this is Kat.

        Charles is…well, you can probably guess now.

        I didn’t realize so many people wouldn’t have a literally glass sword. If I’d known, i might have done the one where Berri gets fed up with her partner and smashes them with the glass sword they’re supposed to be stealing. Or whatever. lol

        Reply
    5. EddySc Avatar
      EddySc

      I have zero idea who these characters are, but I like their dialogue!

      I will say that the ending didn’t quite click with me, but I’m not a big fan of what TV Tropes would call “An Aesop,” so that’s probably just a personal thing.
      Other than that, I really enjoyed the dynamic, the dialogue feels very natural (with maybe an exception to the line of how the female character reacts to Charles asking what would happen if she tried to use the glass sword, but it’s nothing egregious, just a case of “there’s something here that could be improved but I can’t quite put my finger on” which happens when you’re a damned perfectionist like me).

      Really nice story once again!

      Reply
      1. Makokam Avatar
        Makokam

        I didn’t think I needed to name her when I was writing it…but I wasn’t in the best mind set when I was writing it either. I figured people who knew would know, even if the number of people who know is pretty small. But I’ve come to realize it’s important to name her so when you see her later, or if you go back and read other stories, you know it’s the same character.

        So, I’ve edited in her name. This is Kat, Jonathan’s estranged daughter.

        Honestly I struggled with this one more than any prompt that I actually submitted for. So, I’m just kinda happy it works at all. The line about it being a metaphor was the idea that came to me to decide to do it and I didn’t have much else. I…might go back and add more at some point, but I don’t know what else to do with it to be honest. And with a new week comes a new prompt so I probably won’t. :\

        Regardless, thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. I’m glad you liked it. ^_^

        Reply
    6. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      “The fireplace was gas, but that didn’t make it any less nice. It made it feel very…homey. But in a not horrible way.”
      –Right off the bat this is a very intriguing opening line. The fireplace being gas is a very specific detail, and tells us the owner of the house is probably rich. Then the fact that the viewpoint character views “homey” in general as a horrible thing tells us a lot about her.

      “The wine helped. As did Charles’s arm around her.”
      –Precious!!

      “Well, not like home. Better than home.
      Home.
      Kat looked around the penthouse. Was this her home now? She had certainly spent enough time here. And she didn’t really have a home outside of this place. But was this her home now?”
      –Aww!
      I really like this. You pack a lot of depth into a few short lines. Is home just a place you spend a lot of time? Or is it something more? Obviously Charles is the one who’s truly her home, and I like that that’s more hidden.
      It feels like there are two deeper symbols being discussed here, home and the glass sword. It can be difficult to do two in a TF story and I think you did it well!!

      Then I absolutely love the ending. You took the prompt rather literally, yes, but this is probably one of my favorite literal uses of the prompt. I love their back and forth and how it goes from weapon, to art piece, to metaphor. That Kat was thinking too literally–it shows a juxtaposition between their two characters, that she thinks in things she can see and touch (which makes sense, considering her upbringing), and he’s more philosophical. Lovely demonstration of why they’re together.
      I love the idea that the message of “not destroying yourself trying to get what you want” is so important to Charles that he wants it hanging easily visible to him–because presumably, if it’s neither a weapon nor an art piece, that’s what he thinks of whenever he sees it.
      I didn’t think of the final line when I was thinking of interpretations of the prompt and I love it. I feel like you added so much more depth to the idea.
      And then of course I love subtext there that, presumably, Kat is going to do exactly that: destroy herself to get what she wants.

      This was really great. I wasn’t expecting a Kat and Charles (you only recently came up with that name didn’t you?) story, especially because you mentioned not really intending to write about them, so this was a very welcome surprise!!

      Reply
  8. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
    Arith_Winterfell

    “A Little Rain Shall Fall”

    By: Arith_Winterfell

    There’s a flash of pain as I awaken. The warm sticky dampness of blood dribbling down my fingers washed away by the falling rain. I can’t move. Too weak, probably from blood loss. I’m dizzy. Then it dawns on me, I’m going to die here. In the dark and alone.

    A surge of adrenaline rushes through me in response. I try to rise from lying on my side only for my hand to slip in my own blood sending me sprawling on the ground again. My life’s going to end here, like a candle extinguished. My death is meaningless, done in by some nameless thugs for what little money I had. I can’t even scream for help.

    I think about how I never had a wife or children of my own. Is the whole journey of my life for nothing. All I can think about is how small I am to the vast edifices that tower above me in this alley. How small the spark of my life has been in the vastness of space. Do any of us mean anything at all?

    Like a scrambled transmission, is all my life a voice just lost in static? At least, there were the people’s lives that I touched. Those to who I showed kindness. I want to believe something of me lives on there. Even if it’s only tiny parts of me. Maybe the best parts.

    I feel so fragile here in the rain. So brittle. There is nothing but oblivion waiting for me now. I wish I could rise like a sharp-edged light, ending in some meaningful end. But I lie here, cold and broken. It’s in the striving for something more that meant something, not how it ended. Right?

    I can’t see so clearly now. I hope . . .

    Reply
    1. Calliope Rannis Avatar
      Calliope Rannis

      Awwwwww. That was a very sad and lonely story, but one I really felt for too. Sometimes when a situation is really grim, I often mentally distance myself from the character it is happening to, but I really felt for this nameless person’s plight here. How their one brief action was to try to get up again, only to fall over immediately, crushing their hope of survival with it. And all they were left with was their quiet thoughts, and fleeting hopes that maybe something of them will be remembered.

      You wrote a strong and heartfelt story this time Arith. Very well done indeed. <3

      Reply
    2. EddySc Avatar
      EddySc

      I really felt the emotions with this one. Perhaps it resonated because of my depression, who knows.
      While I feel like the inner monologue of the character seems a bit unnaturally verbose at times, overall it works well to paint a clear picture of the situation they found themselves in and the general result really shows a very strong sense of pain. In the end, I suppose, the emotional effect is what matters rather than the “verboseness.”

      Reply
  9. ThatWeirdFish Avatar
    ThatWeirdFish

    A Dance of Ebony and Scarlet (Repost from Private)
    By ThatWeirdFish

    Foils clashed in the light of stars and an orange moon. One of the duelers, Edmund, wore a grin that glinted as brightly as his sequined half mask.

    Prince Melburn had invited him to his Masquerade Tournament, much to his surprise given his uncle’s… reputation. No matter, to refuse a prince’s good graces even if it meant an insufferable night of snide remarks and belittling was not good form. Yet here in this opponent, this “Scarlet Fencer,” he found one more interested in crossing blades and wit than gossip. A refreshing change from the norm.

    “Where did you get such armaments?” Edmund asked as he parried their rapier. Its blade was a strange metal that shimmered like obsidian and paired with a dagger of identical make.

    The stranger chuckled behind the embroidered scarlet sash tied around the lower half of his face. “A secret of House Crofton, I’m afraid,” He feinted and thrust again.

    “I will trim your beard for trimming my cloak’s mantle,” Edmund teased and closed the distance. “House Crofton? As in the merchant lord and his forge bride?” He locked the obsidian sword between his dagger and rapier. “I was not aware they had a son.”

    “Ah…” The Scarlet Fencer’s brown eyes fixed onto Edmund’s blues as his voice faltered. “There’s a long story about that….”

    “Do tell?” Edmund arched an eyebrow, taking a step forward.

    “Y-yes… it’s….” The Scarlet Fencer flinched as the clock struck on the hour. He swore suddenly and dropped his sword before fleeing into the night.

    “Your blade, my good man!” Edmund yelled as the rapier clattered to the ground. He sheathed his dagger and grabbed the pommel of the black sword. “Nay leave such-ah!” He dropped both swords as the stranger’s pommel seared his hand with intense heat through his leather glove.

    “What ails you, Heir of Westfarland?” One of the prince’s attendants asked as they hastily approached.

    “A mystery…” Edmund mused, rubbing his hand as he glanced down at the obsidian rapier. He smiled as he looked towards the forest where the scarlet-clad stranger had fled. “A curious mystery indeed.”

    Reply
    1. Alex Avatar
      Alex

      I do love a good fantasy mystery (even though I know what it is about) and the setup here is really good. I love the back and forth between Edmund and the Scarlet Fencer. Their verbal sparring is really fun to watch and their teasing is spot on. I can tell these two are having a blast, duelling each other.

      I also really like the subtle hints at the greater picture and themes here. I won’t say too much, to avoid spoilers, but I really enjoyed this one. It was a really fun read and I can’t wait to see more of these two. Edmund and the Scarlet Fencer really gel with one another.

      Well done!

      Reply
    2. Oathgiver Avatar
      Oathgiver

      Oh now this was fun to read! I have a small amount of fencing experience and I have watched people far better than me spar, and it made this all the more fun to read. It is to me even reminiscent of the duel between the dread pirate Roberts and Inigo Montoya from ” the princes bride”

      I very much enjoyed how you paired the banter with the fencing action. I am also impressed with your ability to include some of the background information with out bogging down the pace of the story. All in all, a fantastic bit of storytelling.

      Reply
  10. Mysten Noire Avatar
    Mysten Noire

    The Sword’s Glass (Broken; A disconnected universe of tragedies)
    by Mysten Noire Silver

    The Sword of the Empire.

    That was how everyone viewed him. Lord Marselli Dreysius was unparalleled on the battlefield and considered the strongest knight of the Alven Empire. He was the most loyal of the Emperor’s warlords and an excellent commander. He himself didn’t acknowledge these claims, but everyone did.

    That fated night twelve years ago, Lord Dreysius stumbled into my isolated alchemy garden, drunken and distraught.

    Since then, he kept visiting, drunkenly spilling his deepest thoughts and worries. I remembered the time when Lord Dreysius came in the evening, finally sober yet flushed in embarrassment as he gave me a basket of alchemic ingredients that I had offhandedly told him about. He began bringing me gifts whenever he could. He was the strongest knight and the kindest man. I smiled as I reminisced the past, thinking all about Marselli.

    We confessed and became lovers four years ago.

    I felt a tear fall to the side of my face as I gazed at the moon above me, ignoring the way that flames framed the beautiful night sky. I coughed and tried to frown at the thick blood in my mouth but failed to tense the necessary muscles. I could feel my body relaxing into the steel swords pinning me to the wall, the pain barely there anymore.

    As I thought of how much hotter it needed to be to burn an alchemist’s body, I saw a panting figure flash into my view. Marselli stood on the door ahead. He rushed to me, yet I could do nothing but fall into his trembling arms.

    I managed a smile as I listened to the familiar sobs.

    “Lord Dreysius… shouldn’t cry so much.”

    “Ansoli! Please stay awake, I- I can get your pills and-”

    “Won’t work… They made sure… of it,” I took in the view of Marselli’s tearful blue eyes and leaned on him, “I’m sorry… for being your only weakness… Mar.”

    As everything faded away, my heart and soul ached.

    “The day he died, the Alven Empire was also wiped from the map.”

    “Then I left to see my Ansoli.”

    Reply
    1. Lunabear Avatar
      Lunabear

      I’m so happy that I read this one, Mysten! The weaving of the story is excellent! I wholeheartedly felt the romantic tragedy of this. I also really love that the glass sword can be any of the swords that hold Ansoli down or his title as an alchemist. They are always until they aren’t anymore. It’s so dark and twisted!

      I also love that Marselli and Ansoli are unashamedly male. The beauty is in the tragedy but also in their love for each other.

      If I’m interpreting the ending correctly, after Ansoli’s death, Marselli burned the empire and then committed suicide. That’s definitely heavy.

      One thing, though: How is Marselli telling this from his perspective? It goes from third person omniscient to first person limited. That’s the only critique I have.

      This is honestly a fun, tragic story. Definitely a blow to the vital organs, dude. I can’t wait to see what you post next. Thank you so much for writing and sharing this!

      Reply
      1. Mysten Noire Avatar
        Mysten Noire

        Thank you! I’m glad you liked this one. And yes, you did interpret the ending correctly! Kind of. As for whether “see my Ansoli” means suicide or something else, I’ll leave that up to the reader’s imagination hehe ^w^

        I can’t say I’m proud of the sudden switch in POV at the last two lines which can make the whole thing a bit confusing. The whole story is based on Ansolli’s POV (with the whole “Third Person Omniscient” part being Ansoli thinking back about his beloved) up until he died. And then, the last two lines are basically Marselli’s own reminiscing of how he resolved his grief.

        I wanted to be a bit more action-filled but I don’t have enough words to do that XD That’s why the whole story is basically told through the words and memories of Ansoli and Marselli instead. Still, I’m glad you like it. I look forward to writing more too! Haha 😀

        Reply
  11. Amber Avatar
    Amber

    The sword of truth
    By Amber

    It was a simple weapon. Its handle is wrapped in dull leather without decorations. It would be completely unfit to lie on such an altar. The two men look at it while the priestess steps beside the altar.

    “This is the last test?” The bright Guile says dumbfounded. “A sword of glass. It would break at the first impact.”

    “The glass sword is your ultimate test. Cut through the pedestal’s shadow and you become king.” Axiom nods to the priestess’s words, his obsidian eyes shining determined.

    “Shadows can’t be cut, foolish woman! They are there forever.”

    “Cut through it, and you become king.” The priestess says, looking at Guile.

    Cursing under his breath, Guile grabs the sword and walks to the shadows behind the altar. He slices at the shadow. With a loud shattering noise, the sword breaks in two. Guile drops the sword, surprised, as it breaks into more shards.

    “Unworthy.” The priestess declares, walking to the sword and putting the pieces back together.

    Guile glares at her furiously. “You must be joking. There was something wrong with the sword. I am the new king, say it!” he says.

    Guile whiles when Axiom grabs his arm, raised and ready to hit the priestess. He grips the wrist; the hand turning white. “Don’t hit a woman who did nothing wrong. You aren’t worthy to be the king. Accept it.”

    Guile looks at him with hate burning in his amber eyes. Axiom lets go of the hand and walks towards the priestess, helping her put the pieces together. “Your turn, Sir Axiom.”

    Axiom grabs the sword and lifts it in the air, as it is whole again. Light glimmers off the weapon and with a swoosh, the sword goes to the shadow. Cutting right through it. The shadow lays split on the ground as the priestess walks towards Axiom and bows in front of him.

    “The glass sword, the sword of honesty, allowed you to cut through the shadow of lies. I declare you, our new king.”

    Reply
    1. Vriesn Silver Avatar
      Vriesn Silver

      Hmmn a very interesting sword! The sword choosing a worthy king trope but a refreshing and new take on it. The concept of a glass sword being a sword of honesty that can allow you to cut the shadows of lies is a very interesting one and something I didn’t think of.

      I will only point out this one part, “Guile whiles when Axiom grabs his arm,” where I think there should be some typo. But other than that, I can’t find anything to critique! Good job ^w^

      Reply
  12. Lantis Armstrong Avatar
    Lantis Armstrong

    Glass Knife
    By Lantis Armstrong

    The night stalking serial killer strikes again – homicide of teenage girl confirmed after autopsy! The headline of the article stood out to Jess as she scrolled down her timeline; she paused here, because this was her home city.

    Jess’s attention was pulled from her phone when she heard the nearby barista audibly sob abruptly, before biting his lip and forcing himself quiet again. He didn’t seem to notice that she’d seen his composure break, what little composure yet remained – he was still shaking, breathing in short, haggard breaths.

    Orange light poured through the windows of the coffee shop, making Jess’s table and the barista’s countertop shine in the dying light of the evening sun. She couldn’t see his face clearly in this light, but could see him holding himself with both arms as his head slouched forward, almost as though he were about to drop his forehead on the counter.

    “Are you okay?” Jess asked.

    He flinched when she spoke, snapping out of his trance. He looked over at her, and she could see that he was several years older than her, perhaps in his early 20s.

    “I just don’t think I can make it through another night of work.”

    Jess smirked, “I didn’t even know this place stayed open all night.”

    “Just tell me I can quit, and I’ll walk out of here right now. You’ll never see me again,” the barista said to her.

    “No way. Everyone has stuff they have to do that they don’t want to. Just suck it up, you’ll be fine.”

    Teeth chattering, he replied, “okay. One more night then.”

    The last embers of daylight sank behind the skyline. Feeling a bit anxious about walking home after dark, Jess left the coffee shop and began to hurry home. The barista, meanwhile, took off his apron and told his boss he was headed out.

    “Sounds good, see you in the morning,” his boss replied.

    The barista walked out to his car to retrieve his mask and knife, and followed after Jess into the dark of night.

    Reply
    1. Vriesn Silver Avatar
      Vriesn Silver

      Wha- That ending was a shock! I was looking for where the glass knife is when the barista suddenly became the murderer. Poor Jess had no idea what she had just encouraged.

      It’s not really a critique since your story looks really good so far, but just a few tips to cut back on words and make more space for the story (since I know I get this problem a lot, but I’m not sure if you need it). Phrases like “…audibly sob abruptly…” can lose one adverb, depending on what you want to emphasize. “Audibly sob” will emphasize the volume while “Sob abruptly” will emphasize the timing. Having both is… kinda redundant and too much, but that’s just my opinion.

      Either way, good job and nice ending! ^w^

      Reply
  13. Hastaw Avatar
    Hastaw

    The Shock

    By: Hastaw

    I was holding the sword. Next thing I knew, I felt a blaze. I don’t know what happened. I just wanted to feel the hilt material, and the weight of the sword.

    I never expected, or really understood, what happened next.

    All of a sudden, my eyes were on fire. It felt like the sun was focusing it’s energy into my brain. I felt things I found unsettling, to say the least. “Aaaaaahhh!” Was all my mind could conjure.

    I couldn’t scream. Couldn’t move. Everything felt overwhelming and huge, in a different way.

    “Is this what it feels like to see?” I thought. Do people understand how amazing it is? The world feels! It’s like listening to a silent symphony!

    The weirdest feeling, though, was when motion hit my eyes. They followed everything, up, down, left, right, like there were strings attached to them.

    “I need to figure out how to stop seeing, just until I can get a handle on this.” I murmur quietly to myself. I figured if my eyes were reacting to the light, then I need something to block it out.

    Cloth seemed to block it adequately.

    I attempted to put the sword back, but it shattered. I thought that “this sword was made of the toughest metals in history, supposedly from the center of the earth itself!”

    Shoot.

    I found a normal sword, and took the crystal sword out of view. I panicked and ran, but it was too late.

    “Oy!” One of the guards shouted. “Whass a runt like ye doin’ ‘ere?” He reeked of beer.

    I was both cringing at the loss of his dignity, and gleefully rejoicing in the fact that I might not have to fight my way out of here.

    But the sword, apparently, had other ideas!

    I heard a clasp, then a loud “clunk!” Whereas I just groaned. I might have thought someone else had found it, if it didn’t force itself into my hand, and try to fight all by itself.

    I’m just glad he was too drunk to remember.

    The weapon dragged my hand along with it, attempting to force me to mimic its movements. I pulled, it pushed. I pried, it pinned itself deeper into my hand.

    I run, concealing the weapon which wouldn’t let go of me. From the distance, I hear,”Arthur has grasped the sword from the stone!” Or something like that.

    I don’t remember.

    All I remember is running for my life.

    My new life.

    With new eyes.

    Reply
    1. Lantis Armstrong Avatar
      Lantis Armstrong

      Well this was a fun jaunt, the theft of the sword whose magic can restore eyesight. Literally letting Arthur see, I suppose? Not figuratively, like, it opened his mind up to all kinds of new possibilities? His fascination with motion tells me he’s really seeing for the first time. And him noticing the drunken guards by scent was a good touch, as someone blind for a lifetime would be more in touch with the world around them through their other senses.

      Reply
    2. Marx Avatar
      Marx

      This was such an interesting take on the prompt! I think my favorite aspect of it all was the description of seeing for the first time. It’s true, it is something that we mostly take for granted and it added a bit of realism in that immediately after regaining his eyesight, Arthur needed to blind himself again momentarily because it was too much at the time.

      Everything else with the magic sword was just icing on the cake after that. I’m genuinely curious about where this story goes and how closely it’ll follow other versions of King Arthur. Great story!

      Reply
  14. Calliope Rannis Avatar
    Calliope Rannis

    A Candle Against The Sky (Corespace Universe)
    By Calliope Rannis

    “Thought I’d find you here.”

    Clev looked away from the wires and mechanics he had been analysing for the last hour. He saw Ember nearby, casually leaning against a railing of Emergence Station’s docking bay.

    “I can’t say I’m surprised,” Ember continued, “but is examining Cindy really the only thing you want to do with your time? We can’t stay long.”

    “Uh- that’s not our ship’s name.”

    “Well I’d like it to be. We don’t need to keep the old name, in fact we really should change it considering its stolen and all-”

    Clev made a worried noise and shushed her, looking worriedly around him.

    “What? Oh come on Clev, it’s not like security can listen to every single conversation.”

    “Can’t they?” He said in a strained whisper.

    Ember’s face softened in realisation. She went over to Clev, crouching down close beside him. “It’s going to be okay. Really.” She said quietly. “I know everything must be a lot for you. You aren’t used to this kind of stress, I get it. But we already did the hard part, eh?” She smiled reassuringly. “We just have to keep moving, and nobody’s gonna find us. Yeah?”

    Clev’s face was still strained, his hands clenched tightly together. Turning back towards their ship, he said “The Diamondlight is incredible. Just as Astra said. I thought installing a FTL drive into a light spacecraft this small would be impossible.”

    He looked down. “But my examination has exposed many weaknesses. The shielding is much weaker, several standard safety modules are absent…I can’t even find backup systems for power or life support.”

    He turned back to Ember. “This ship is unsafe. Extremely unsafe. If something goes wrong mid-flight, we’ll die.” His lip quivered a little.

    Ember held her smile. “Well, then I guess we’ll have to make sure nothing goes wrong then, won’t we? I’m a good pilot, and you’re a very good engineer. I think we can manage.” She looked back upon the ship that they had invested so much stress and risk into, and sighed. Why were beautiful things always so dangerous to touch?

    Reply
    1. C. M. Weller Avatar
      C. M. Weller

      I see lots of people have gone less than literal for this prompt. This dangerous and beautiful thing isn’t even a weapon.

      This is very well written. I can see how Clev is still entranced by a problem he can’t quite solve, and Ember is egging him on. Are they both falling for the Sunken Cost Fallacy?

      How desperate are they to get where they want to be if this is their only means of transport?

      Fingers crossed for them.

      Reply
    2. MacBoiZen Avatar
      MacBoiZen

      Ah, the Corespace Universe appears once again, this time with a new cast of characters. I like the dialogue between Clev and Ember. Both their personalities are well displayed through their interactions and actions throughout the story. Interesting that the ship they stole is the figurative “glass sword.” I wanna know more about the circumstances that led to this point. Would love to see more of this.

      Reply
      1. Calliope Rannis Avatar
        Calliope Rannis

        Thank you for the review! ^w^

        Reply
    3. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
      Arith_Winterfell

      I like the image of the stolen starship as the glass sword, it really works well in this story. Especially the line at the end about beautiful things being dangerous to touch, it worked really well crystalizing the primary metaphor of the story. I also really like the tension in this piece too as embodied by Clev’s reactions. Both in the form of his anxiety over having the stolen starship in his possession, and his anxiety regarding the lack of basic safety protocol options due to combining a faster than light drive onto a small light starship that wasn’t built for having a faster than light drive built into it. That tension really makes the story work well as it creates the conflict that drives the story. Its not so much that the tension is between the characters as conflict between them, but between them and society/dangerous risks they are taking running a ship like this. All in all an excellent and engaging scene!

      Reply
    4. Marx Avatar
      Marx

      Awwww I really love Ember and Clev’s dynamic in this story. It completely makes sense for the pilot to be the one more willing to take the risks and the engineer being more rooted in the facts of the matter. I also liked the idea of the ship being the glass sword. It can absolutely do the job but it might kill you in the process. I think Ember’s last line encapsulated the whole idea very nicely.

      Great use of the prompt. Great story. And great characters lol. Well done.

      Reply
  15. Tamela Redfin Avatar
    Tamela Redfin

    Embrace the Moment

    By Tamela Redfin

    I hung up the call with Keely. So that’s what I was, a dimension traveler. How would I find my way back to my dimension? But I also needed to check in on Cecilia.

    A few weeks passed and I was informed I had a package. Since it wasn’t Christmas, I knew what it was. But how to fool Feldspar Augen? Well, he was a man of science and if I told him it was to get Radon Cecilia used to “normal nails”, he’d buy it hook, line, and sinker!

    As night came, I walked over to Radon Cecilia’s house. It was the Western Roltian holiday of Westmas, so cyphas would be busy. I knocked on the shack door.

    “Cece, someone’s knocking on the door.”

    “Stand back, Sapphira.” The door was thrust open, revealing the beautiful cypha. “Cameron?”

    “Hello Cecilia.”I smiled, “I… have something for you.”

    “I don’t trust you humans!” Sapphira snapped.

    “Shh, he’s helping me.” Cecilia looked at Sapphira. “He got me a new arm.”

    “Ew!” Sapphira shrieked.

    I chuckled and opened the box. “The model is named Aspasia, so I was told. May I see your arm?”

    She gave me her stump and I read how to attach the arm. Sapphira looked suspicious but it didn’t deter me. At last it was on.

    Cecilia grabbed me and held me into a tight embrace and I felt my cheeks heat up. I could almost kiss her. But I pulled myself away.

    I left with Cecilia and Sapphira to celebrate Westmas, but trouble was afoot.

    “Hey Radon Cecilia,” A guard walked over, smirking. “Where’s that arm from?”

    Fury boiled in my skin.

    “It came from HowaboutIscratchya!” Cecilia snapped.

    “Aw Cecilia, I thought you were nicer.” He cooed, lifting up her chin and smiling seductively.

    “That’s enough Radon Miklos! I was told to give her that arm. Come along, let’s celebrate Westmas.”

    “With them?”

    “Yes, with them.” Had I been too out there?I added, “They should learn about Westmas and the egg hunt.” Then again, Miklos was drunk, likely. Or was he? Maybe he was onto my little lie all along.

    Reply
    1. berserker47 Avatar
      berserker47

      Hmm. I don’t know, I feel like I am missing something here. It doesn’t feel really self-contained. I normally like pieces that leave me thinking about them, but this time its so many questions that it isn’t really enjoyable anymore. I guess it would be nice if I had any clue what was going on?
      Sorry if that came across as rude, but I am just really confused.

      Reply
  16. Lee Strangely Avatar
    Lee Strangely

    The Download (Tomorrow Retaken)
    by Lee Strangely

    The high winds howled and nipped at Victor’s body as he climbed the icy rungs. The only light he had was that of the moon and blinking guide-lights along the com-tower. Occasionally he would stop only to look at a mass or dark clouds that approached. They growled at him, sometimes flashing bolts seemingly to intimidate him.

    “UPDATE: outdoor conditions are deteriorating,” the robotic head tied to his belt stated aloud, “shelter is recommended.”

    “I’m aware,” Victor halfheartedly replied. It took all of his concentration to avoid slipping. The very top pierced the cloud cover. It was cold up there, but the sight it produced was beautiful.

    Victor pulled out the robot and connected it to the tower via a cable, “Alright Wilson, we only got one shot at this.” He then locked the machine onto a port that stuck out from the main structure.

    “Some mechanical fortune-teller isn’t going to tell me my life is doomed, or anyone else for that matter. Let’s see if the prophecy machine predicts this!”

    “UPDATE: download in progress,” Wilson stated.
    The storm grew ever closer as Victor waited for him.

    …

    Lightning could be heard and seen rather close by, and considering where Victor currently stood it was reasonable to say it was about time he left. Looking at Wilson he noticed his green eyes flickering.

    “Wilson, are you okay?” he asked

    “Download, n-n-n-n-n-nearly complete.”

    Victor took notice of the storm, “Wilson?”

    “This un-n-n-nit was not outfitted for colder climates.”

    “Maybe I should take you down.”

    “Not ne-e-e-e-cessary. Download incomplete.”

    Victor tried to pull him anyway, but the head didn’t budge. “Wilson you’re frozen.”

    “C-correct. It is also recommended that you leave immediately.”

    He tried to pull again, “I’m not leaving without you.”

    “UPDATE: fr-fr-fr-frost damage is too extensive. This unit cannot be salvaged.”

    “Don’t say that, we can-”

    “Leave.”

    “Wilson I’m not going to-”

    CRACK!

    A massive bolt of lightning struck nearby.

    “Leave.”

    Victor cried as he began to carefully make his way back down.

    “UPDATE: download comple-e-e-e-ete. STATEMENT: goodbye, Victoooooooooor…” Wilson’s eyes went black as Victor disappeared back below the clouds.

    Reply
    1. SunflowerBoi Avatar
      SunflowerBoi

      Mate, this was a heartbreaking but lovely piece. I like your use of dialog and emotion throughout the piece. You nearly made me cry for poor Wilson, and to see Victor’s pleading then hopelessness was gut wrenching. Also the imagery for the environment was also well done. A wonderful take on the prompt.

      Reply
  17. Wingman Avatar
    Wingman

    The Blade
    By Wingman

    The blade is paper thin and visible only at the right angle. The broad side so transparent it almost isn’t there and the edge so thin it is easy to look past. The case it is in makes it appear to glow through a trick of the light. It has to be feather light but there are stories of all the men it has slain. The original owner had been a magnificent fighter, so good he died of old age, despite fighting his entire life. A single error would have broken it and been his demise. Its presence here now speaks for all those who used it in the last three hundred years.

    My hand twitches toward the handle. The hilt is wrapped in a well maintained leather – not original of course. The handle itself is a continuous piece, one with the blade. If it had been made of wood one would have thought it was a mid-level child’s toy. Sleek but not ornate. Undoubtedly the leather would give it a nicer grip.

    I looked around the room, it’s dark with the rest of the house sleeping. They would never know I was here if I left now. The sword still drew me in. Their family heirloom; sitting here on display. I could feel its thirst for blood as my own. Pulling me away from the door and towards the case. This gorgeous sword deserves to glint in the light of battle. I can picture the deep red blood almost floating on the glass.

    The alarm sounds as I lift it. To battle. To bloodshed.

    Reply
    1. Lee Strangely Avatar
      Lee Strangely

      This is a fantastic inner monologue that would be perfect for the beginning of a good fantasy or swords and sandals kind of movie. There’s a good mix of exposition and personality being communicated here, and in such a way that it doesn’t come off as forced or dumped in. I’m not sure if this was intended or not, but the ending seems somewhat ambiguous, and I like it: “The alarm sounds as I lift it.” could mean that a battle has started and now he has a chance to use it as he goes to help the cause, or it could mean that he was stealing it and was discovered, forcing him to have to fight his way out now.

      Reply
    2. MacBoiZen Avatar
      MacBoiZen

      I like this one. Shorter than a typical story (or maybe it’s the way the paragraphs is structured), but one that doesn’t disappoint. I did quite like the descriptions of the sword and the mixture of the inner talk of the narrator helped display how powerful and prestigious it supposedly is. Intrigued about what is to follow after the last line. Good job.

      Reply
    3. Lantis Armstrong Avatar
      Lantis Armstrong

      “Live by the sword die by the sword” really doesn’t apply to the skilled I suppose; that thought did make me chuckle a bit. I am left wondering what he plans to do with the sword, what battles they intend to fight, why do they intend to fight them. Is the sword really so strong that it’d compel someone to loot a home just to get their hands on it? I suppose so. Where did it originate from, who forged it? Would any of their descendants still be alive today? These are all questions I feel in wake of this story’s conclusion. So, very good at inspiring wonder!

      Reply
  18. MacBoiZen Avatar
    MacBoiZen

    Water Like Glass (Alchemy’s Kin Universe)
    By MacBoiZen

    How did it come to this?

    Eleven-year-old Phoenix didn’t have an answer for that question racing through his mind. This wasn’t supposed to happen, he thought. It was impossible.

    At least, it shouldn’t have. Not to her.

    The memory of playing and messing around with her in her parents’ garden felt all too fresh. The big sakura tree had rained petals down as they showed one another the new tricks they’d learned with their powers. Phoenix remembered being extraordinarily proud of himself for summoning a little spark of flame from his hand, dividing it into three, and making them dance like fireflies around his friend. She’d been a bit frightened at first, but only a moment after, her face broke into the happiest smile he’d seen.

    He couldn’t forget that.

    He recalled that she’d pestered him about wanting to show him something. He’d caved, although somewhat reluctantly. She’d walked over the bridge above the ring-shaped pond to the cherry blossom tree, him following slightly after, sat down on a small cloth, and closed her eyes. He’d wondered if it was some sort of prank, but when the entire pool of water started to rise and flow gently around the enclosure to the sway of her hands, that idea was quickly dispelled.

    Phoenix had stood amazed at his friend’s display of power.

    So how?

    How could it be that that same girl was now in his home, hanging on his shoulder, hands streaked with blood, tears falling unfettered down her face?

    “You doing okay, kid?” one of the policemen asked him, putting a blanket around the girl’s shaking form.

    “I….I don’t know…” he replied.

    “Both of you will be alright. We’re gonna figure out what happened to your parents, Sayaka, I promise you,” the officer tried to reassure them before stepping back to the blinking colored lights outside.

    “I-i-it’s all my f-fault…” came Sayaka’s fragile voice. “I c-couldn’t s-save…”

    Her words evaporated into pained cries again.

    Phoenix held her closer in response. “It’s okay…I…I’m gonna protect you.”

    Reply
    1. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Oooooh this is a great one!! It has a bit less direct action and dialogue than your other ones but it’s still very exciting and intriguing!!

      “Phoenix remembered being extraordinarily proud of himself for summoning a little spark of flame from his hand, dividing it into three, and making them dance like fireflies around his friend. She’d been a bit frightened at first, but only a moment after, her face broke into the happiest smile he’d seen.
      He couldn’t forget that.”
      –I love this!! The fireflies image is so vivid and precious!! I love how it’s the emotion, the smile, he remembers the most. The “he couldn’t forget that” feels like such a beat drop and I love it.

      I love the next paragraph too. How his character comes through. You don’t just show what happened, you show their reactions to it all. I love how powerful Sayaka is shown to be from just that little scene.

      I just become more and more intrigued by the mystery of what happened to her parents the more I read. I can’t tell if she herself accidentally killed them, or if someone else killed them and she blames herself because, despite her power, she couldn’t save them. If it’s the latter I’m guessing that’s our antagonist.

      From what I knew of the story before, I didn’t realize how close the two of them were!! I love Phoenix’s loyalty and desire to protect her, as well as knowing that she had a friend to help her through this time in her life. It adds a layer of warmth to the other story with them too, that he always protects her, including from creepers hanging out around her apartment XD

      I really like your use of the prompt too. It feels like there’s multiple layers. That Sayaka is the glass sword, the thing that seemed so powerful, but which is fragile (love that). But perhaps the water itself is the sword, if her power did in fact accidentally kill them. Even if she didn’t, the power of water in general I think is a very glass-sword power, one that is both powerful and fragile, one that can be used to hurt and to heal in equal measure.

      I loved this one!!

      Reply
      1. MacBoiZen Avatar
        MacBoiZen

        Wow! That is rather glowing praise. Thanks so much!

        This one was a bit of a gamble. I didn’t know if I’d successfully connected to the prompt. Thought maybe it was maybe a bit too subtle, but I’m glad it came through alright.

        Reply
    2. Hastaw Avatar
      Hastaw

      This piece is incredible. The scenery, the emotional display throughout the entire piece was all so clear. The horror of the incident really shines through while you describe the calm, peaceful, or exciting moments you describe with the menacing, horrible fate that the eleven year old girl faces. I find it surprising when you express the guilt in Sakaya’s voice following her fun-filled voice when she was with Phoenix. Excellent piece.

      Reply
  19. Jennifer L Vanderputten Avatar
    Jennifer L Vanderputten

    The Hand of the Goddess, Broken
    By Jen Vanderputten

    Liath prayed as she climbed obsidian steps dappled with amber reflections of lanterns mounted along the walls. The last of Maeve’s gift flowed into her, and the wyvern’s gash on her shoulder ceased its constant drip of blood, though it still ached. It did not matter. She needed only the strength to kill the mage that dwelt here, to fulfill her oath. Her own ending could come afterward, if that was her fate.

    She reached the apex and strode through the archway that led into a massive chamber, a circular room of the same making as the stairwell. Here, lanterns floated, so numerous they were like stars dotting the domed ceiling. Everything glowed, even her armor, despite the ichor smeared across it.

    She waited.

    Flickers of light formed in front of her, swirling into a column as a figure formed within. A tall, pale man stood before her, hands locked behind him, his visage bearing hazel eyes and cutting features that she knew all too well.

    He spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “It was inevitable. You are my singular match in every way. To hide this from you was to purchase more time with you, and I do not regret it, despite the pain I see on your face. The decision is yours. I will not resist it. Kill me or join me. End me or make me your home, as you’ve done so many times before.”

    The power that gripped her chest did not issue from anything arcane. She struggled for breath as she stared at him. His scent enveloped her. His gaze pierced her as sharply as the first time they’d met.

    She begged for Maeve’s forgiveness as metal clattered to the floor.

    Reply
    1. Vriesn Silver Avatar
      Vriesn Silver

      Hmm I don’t really get what’s happening but this is an interesting take on the prompt. I don’t know why Liath will immediately forget her resolve after meeting and listening to Maeve, but that could be the point? And also, I can’t tell what Maeve’s words are supposed to explain, other than somehow (successfully) persuading Liath to not kill him. Either way, good work on this ^_^

      Reply
      1. Jennifer L Vanderputten Avatar
        Jennifer L Vanderputten

        Oh, she didn’t meet Maeve. Maeve is a goddess that gave her some gifts (like her ability to heal herself) so that she could hunt the mage. Liath is “the hand of the goddess”. When she met the mage, she realized the mage was her lover, a man she’d been having a love affair with for some time already. The mage then told her that he would not stop her if she wanted to kill him, but that she could also choose to join him. The clattering of metal on the floor is her removing her armor and weapons, in other words, choosing to be with her lover rather than ending him.

        Reply
  20. VTRwriter Avatar
    VTRwriter

    Rescuing the Glass Sword
    By VTRwriter

    “That sword belongs in a museum!” Ford Jones yelled.

    “No way, Jones!” Cyber Cyrus said. “Elegant pieces like these belong in the hands of adventurers!”

    “Like yourself?”

    “What can I say? I’m the best adventurer.”

    Cyrus rushed towards Jones, pointing the Glass Sword in his direction.

    In the world of Ituante, magic and technology didn’t go eye to eye, almost being long-time rivals. Cyber Cyrus was dangerous for knowing how to use both at the same time, and use them well. His implants helped him have a supernatural aim, and now, the invisible Glass Sword gave him the advantage of surprise, for it was impossible to see how long the blade was.

    Ford Jones dodged the best he could, his adventurer’s reflexes giving him many close-calls and lots of small cuts. But Cyrus’ barrage of attacks was unrelenting. Many “whooshes” and “swishes” passed too close to Jones’ head for his liking. So much attention he paid to the sword, he didn’t notice Cyrus casting a burning ray spell on his leg until too late. Jones kneeled with pain.

    “Bye-bye!” Cyrus yelled, the blade going full speed towards Jones’ head from above.

    But Ford Jones had his own advantage.

    He raised his hand, and the blade, instead of slicing flesh, collided with a hard substance. The impact was enough to dispel the invisibility spell on Jones’ hand, revealing a strange stone gauntlet, much to Cyrus’s confusion.

    “Meet the Hand of Titans!” Jones smiled. “Not only is it unbreakable, it gives me super-strength!”

    “No, let go!” Cyrus tried to pull the sword from the grip to no avail. With his free hand, Jones knocked Cyrus out with a single powerful punch on his jaw. The battle was over.

    “You’re no adventurer, Cyrus. Only an arrogant thief. And now, you’re…”

    Crack!

    The Hand of Titans indeed gave the user super-strength, but made the user’s hand a bit numb, making it impossible to know how much pressure was used. Now, the invisible Glass Sword was plainly visible on the floor. And in pieces.

    Jones’ spine shivered.

    “Crap.”

    Reply
    1. Lunabear Avatar
      Lunabear

      This is quite a thrilling story, VT! I love that it feels very much like Jones and Cyrus having a friendly rivalry between them. I understand that they’re more than likely going all out, but the way the action is written and the jabs back and forth between them are so well done and incredibly playful and energetic. It’s so dramatic, and I love it!

      I also really enjoyed that the title is rescuing the glass sword, but the rescue appears to have failed. I really like this Duo, and I am incredibly intrigued as to what comes next, should you choose to continue this particular storyline. Thank you so much for writing and sharing this!

      Reply
  21. Ann W. T Avatar
    Ann W. T

    The Last Symphony
    By Ann W. T

    He was, once, the greatest musician of all time. There was something in the notes he played, the way his fingers would move on violins and cellos’ string, the way they would touch the piano- once seen, once heard it would never again be forgotten. His music had its own way to enter people’s soul, reach their heart’s deepest desires and fears and bring them to light, alive. However, what was not known was how that man managed to do such things, how was he able to create such art, such music. The answer was his audience. His music fed on people’s misery, their insecurities, their weaknesses and fragilities and as the man touched their cores with his music the artist himself would grow stronger, a mystical figure that no human could believe it existed, playing with people’s own feelings to create grandness.

    Yet one night, when the wind was colder and the stars darker, another mystical being came to visit the grand musician. It was Death itself, coming to take the artist soul after so many years being tainted and corrupted by his own grandeur, after decades feeding and leeching on other’s depravities and torments. Desperate the man fell on his knees, crying and pleading that Death would spare him.

    “Play with your own tune. Please me and I shall leave you be.” The Death replied.

    The man begun to play yet this time there was no audience. He begun using his own fears and desperation to fill his music, to carry his notes and fed his power. Every touch on the instrument was a like a tear inside his heart, every melody that escaped from the chords were screams directly from his soul. Soon his own music was consuming him, his mind losing itself amidst so much pain, terror and anguish. Suddenly the musician realized he could not stop playing for he was already lost, Death now laughing as his eyes and fingers bled while his music showed nothing but darkness. Madness. Death let the man play until there was no more music to be listened.

    Nor man.

    Reply
    1. Lee Strangely Avatar
      Lee Strangely

      This reminds me of the sort of metaphor or dark fairy tale that a character would mention in a larger story to explain something. It’s a very Gothic and interesting idea, a man who drew from other people now forced to cannibalize himself to fend off death in his final moments. It kind of reminds me of the Grimm Brothers’ tale “Godfather Death.”

      Reply
    2. Ben Connolly Avatar
      Ben Connolly

      That is a most fascinating concept

      Reply
  22. berserker47 Avatar
    berserker47

    A Question of Honor (Neolithas)

    By Sire von Shrubbery (aka berserker47)

    They saw the guard standing in front of the tower. Challa wondered whether they should sneak past her or just get in the building somehow else. The tower did indeed belong to Challa’s buyer, not only was his name written across it in big letters, but also his face was decoratively projected into the sky in front of it.

    Challa slid her little dagger out of her sleeve, and made her way to the far side of the building. To the right, there was a barely traversed alleyway mostly inhabited by city rats and trash left on the sidewalk. Challa was just as good at their job as their brother was, even though he would definitely say otherwise. While their brother relied more on his natural talents, Challa achieved their abilities through hard training and crafting of exquisite items. They knew about the entrance on the back side, the one for the ridiculously underpaid workers. Challa had scouted the surroundings of the tower for some weeks now.

    Challa knew that they could have just gone in frontside, along the other customers of the big man they were selling the jar to. But they would rather die than go by that monkey’s rules.

    The dagger still in their hand, Challa was finally at the kytech doorway. The blade wasn’t made for stabbing anyone, it would very likely break just by touching kyarmor, but it was a very useful tool. Focusing their energy through the little, well-shaped shard of glass, they deactivated the security measures of the door. Voila.

    Reply
    1. Lunabear Avatar
      Lunabear

      This is an interesting take on the prompt idea, Berserker. I think using a glass sword as a key is pretty clever, especially because you mention it’s very fragile and not able to cut anything. I would like to see the dynamic between Challa and their brother.

      The only critique I have is Challa is addressed as “she” and “her”, but then, Challa is addressed as “they/their”. I’m curious as to if that is intentional.

      Other than that, I liked the story. It has some stuff happening in the background, and it feels very technological. I can’t wait to see what you post next. Thank you for writing and sharing this.

      Reply
      1. berserker47 Avatar
        berserker47

        yeah it was intentional! Challa mostly goes by they/them pronouns now but they dont mind others referring to her as she/her even if that happens less often now and i kinda wanted that to be part of the story.

        Also when I created Challa I used she/her and I changed it later on.

        And I am sure we can explore the relationship of the two sometime soon! Hopefully…

        heh…

        Reply
  23. Alex Avatar
    Alex

    The Exiled Squire (Exile Universe)

    By Alex Nightingale (aka Spectre)

    Pressed against a wall, the Duke desperately tried to ignore the screams of mortality, echoing through the halls of the stronghold. His elite corps, masterful warriors responsible for the extermination of entire towns each, were now dying like terrified sheep, massacred by a hungry wolf.

    In his panic, he had ran himself into a dead end. All he could do was stand there and wait; wait in agony, as he pictured his end.

    He didn’t want to die. Not here. Not like this.

    Frantically, he searched for a door or a corridor. There had to be one, there just had to be.

    In front of him, steel shattered and creatures screamed. Some of them begged. Others shouted in desperate attacks. The Duke pressed himself against the stone wall, pulling out a broadsword with his shivering arms.

    Ahead, he saw an armoured soldier fall from a corridor, clutching his face, as metal splinters from his visor dug deep into his eyes. Yellow, puss-like blood oozed to the floor. 

    He saw the shadow first. Slowly it grew larger and larger, until the thing that threw it stepped into view.

    If it hadn’t had a tail, it could have passed as human. It turned its face to him, eyes obscured by a feathered cap, a rapier by its side. A fresh wave of resolve filled the Duke. His sword was broad and powerful. He’d break this needle of a weapon like glass.

    Before he could react, the hunter was upon him. With a terrified scream, the Duke brought his broadsword down on him, hearing the shattering of metal, seeing the hunter’s rapier break. As he opened his eyes, he realized his mistake. It wasn’t the hunter’s sword that had broken. It was his.

    The Duke thrust his pitiful remnant of a blade forward, as his neck was skewered by the thin rapier’s tip.

    The last thing he saw was a black tongue licking fangs and piercing white eyes, burrowing into his.

    Daimyn sheathed his rapier, letting his prey fall to the ground with a sigh. Some hunts just provided some mild entertainment.

    Reply
    1. berserker47 Avatar
      berserker47

      Nice one! Really felt the fear over there. Brrr. I don’t come around to read many commissions, so I don’t know your pre-established characters (as Daimyn seems to be), but it’s still rather dope! I am confused by the yellow blood that spilled from that soldier’s eyes? If that is some established fact, nice, but it seems kind of weird just reading about yellow blood without context.

      Reply
    2. Connor A. Avatar
      Connor A.

      Dude, I got chills from reading this. The part where the Duke’s sword shattered and the last line about the whole event being “mild entertainment” for Daimyn really brought the overall vibe of the piece together and paints just how powerful he actually is. I hope you had a blast writing this.

      Reply
    3. Lunabear Avatar
      Lunabear

      Yo! Spec, man! These descriptions are gruesome! The action is very well done. Also, I was NOT expecting Daimyn! I understand the visceral nature of the descriptions, now.

      One thing that I really enjoy about this story is that even though the Duke’s rapier is not made of glass, it still has the qualities of glass when pitted against Daimyn’s weapon. That’s really excellent, dude.

      I can’t remember or not if this is Daimyn’s introduction, but it is wonderfully crafted. Some really good body horror and viscera combined with some great action. I also love how snide he is because he goes through all of this, and it’s only mildly entertaining. I just fear for my sweet baby Max. He’s in for one heck of a time.

      Critiques:

      The last thing he saw was a black tongue(,) licking fangs(,) and piercing white eyes, burrowing into his.

      Needless to say, I would love more from Daimyn. He’s quiet, but also menacing and so for sure and domineering and just downright frightening. Even though we didn’t get this story from his perspective, he still pulsates with a dark aura. It pushes you away but pulls you in at the same time. At least it does for me. I cannot wait to see what you have next. Thank you so much for posting this atmospheric tale.

      Reply
    4. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      Oooh interesting interesting!!
      You’ve been really having fun with your Exile universe lately haven’t you? ;D (It’s funny, for the past few weeks I think we’ve both been writing about stuff that we created much earlier, but we haven’t much shared before now! You’ve been writing about Exiled and I’ve been writing about Savion)

      At first I read the Duke as the Count from the other story and had to rejigger my brain XD I am curious if the two have any relation though…

      “the screams of mortality”
      –This is a very curious phrasing. Because it almost seems to imply a level of weakness, rather than sympathy–they’re not screams of pain, screams of mortality, for they were weak, they were mortal.

      “His elite corps, masterful warriors responsible for the extermination of entire towns each, were now dying like terrified sheep, massacred by a hungry wolf.”
      –I like this image

      “In his panic, he had ran himself into a dead end. All he could do was stand there and wait; wait in agony, as he pictured his end.
      He didn’t want to die. Not here. Not like this.”
      –Another great image, though less the metaphorical kind.
      Other reviewers were saying they could feel the fear in this piece, and I definitely did too. The emotion is well done.

      “In front of him, steel shattered and creatures screamed. Some of them begged. Others shouted in desperate attacks.”
      –I like your syntax here. It’s sort of anaphora-adjacent. And then the different things the victims are doing are very dynamic.

      “Ahead, he saw an armoured soldier fall from a corridor, clutching his face, as metal splinters from his visor dug deep into his eyes. Yellow, puss-like blood oozed to the floor.”
      –Ewww nasty. I wonder if this image might actually warrant a gore content warning, it’s one of the more intense images I’ve read in a TF story XD
      I’m curious though, if the soldiers have yellow, puss-like blood…they’re probably not human…right?

      “If it hadn’t had a tail, it could have passed as human”
      –Well this is terrifying

      “A fresh wave of resolve filled the Duke. His sword was broad and powerful. He’d break this needle of a weapon like glass.
      Before he could react, the hunter was upon him. With a terrified scream, the Duke brought his broadsword down on him, hearing the shattering of metal, seeing the hunter’s rapier break. As he opened his eyes, he realized his mistake. It wasn’t the hunter’s sword that had broken. It was his.”
      –I really like this!! I like that the Duke is cocky and thinks he can break the rapier when actually the opposite occurs. It seems to be a metaphor for these two characters’ personalities too–the one that seems weak is actually strong, and vice versa.

      “The last thing he saw was a black tongue licking fangs and piercing white eyes, burrowing into his.”
      –Also terrifying.

      “Daimyn sheathed his rapier, letting his prey fall to the ground with a sigh. Some hunts just provided some mild entertainment.”
      –…Okay, now this is the most terrifying yet XD
      It’s interesting because with he last line you humanize him by giving him a name, which makes me think you’re intending to make him more sympathetic. But the last sentence is terrifying because, however evil the Duke and his soldiers were…it seems Daimyn might be worse, because he views death as mere entertainment. Unless this is the only the case with bad guys?
      I hope he’s not evil, and I’m definitely curious about him, but still.

      I honestly thought the hunter was…I’m blanking on her name but the girl with the dragon tail from the cave from another Exile story, so I was kind of shocked to see another name XD I’m curious if they’re the same species?

      This was great!! Keep up the good work!!

      Reply
  24. Connor A. Avatar
    Connor A.

    Teens with Swords (Fae Wish)
    By Connor A.

    Stephanie and Akari stared at the sword resting on Akari’s kotatsu. While the blade was almost completely transparent, the handle looked more like frosted glass. Aside from that, there was nothing to separate it from other fae swords they came across.

    “Any idea what this one’s supposed to do?” Akari finally asked as she rested her elbows close to the sword. “Make someone invisible? Maybe curse whoever’s holding it?”

    “Why would anyone want a sword that would curse them?” Stephanie held her chin between her pointer finger and thumb, staring at the sword in hopes of finding some sort of engraving that could explain what it does. “The only thing I can really think of is some sort of glass cannon.”

    “Because it looks like glass?”

    “Let me have this.”

    Akari rolled her eyes and pushed herself up. “Well, I’m gonna steal some snacks before my parents get back. Let me know if you figure something out.”

    When she left, Stephanie began fidgeting with the brass necklace around her neck. Neither of them tried to use it since they found it, so there was a possibility that it could rebound in some way. If it was a glass cannon like she thought, then the blade would probably shatter…

    When Akari came back with food in both arms, she saw Stephanie standing on the balcony, wearing brass-colored armor and weakly swinging the sword as to not hit anything.

    Stephanie looked over at Akari and shot her a nervous grin. “Just to be safe?”

    Akari stared at her for a moment. She snapped back to the food and set everything down, sifting through everything before settling on an unopened bag of chips. “Think fast.”

    She threw them at Stephanie without warning. As expected, Stephanie panicked and swung the sword like a bat.

    But what came to a surprise was how the bag froze upon contact. Stephanie lowered the sword and stared at the bag, but started when it burst into many smaller pieces, taking the blade with it.

    After a beat of silence, the two laughed at what they saw.

    Reply
    1. Alex Avatar
      Alex

      Stephanie, I salute your pun. A literal glass cannon, indeed (well… not a cannon, but you get my point). I can’t help but have a mental image of a Chosen One pulling out the sword from a stone and then the hilt breaks off. I could totally see this happening with this sword.

      Joking aside, what really shines in this piece is the dynamic between Akari and Stephanie. I don’t think I’ve ever met them, but I can already tell they are friends and they work really well together. I kinda see them as a pair of amateur adventurers, who go out traveling together for fun. (Also, sidenote: Bringing crisps to a priceless artefact makes my inner archaeologist cringe, but it’s also so funny.)

      Well written!

      Reply
      1. Connor A. Avatar
        Connor A.

        Thanks! This is the first time I introduced them properly, though they have been characters I’ve been stewing over for awhile now. And while it wasn’t my intention to cause archeological cringe, it does solidify the fact that these two are teenagers that have no idea what they’re actually doing.

        Reply
    2. Marx Avatar
      Marx

      Lol this was a really fun story. Mostly because of how well Akari and Stephanie play off each other. They definitely come across as playing with things they shouldn’t. Just the fact that one was the forethought to armor themselves and the other one just chucked an albeit harmless target, it was all just a hilariously reckless situation.

      I also find it funny because that kind of weapon comes across as some epic, you only get one shot so make it good kind of a deal and they used it on a bag of chips. Lol all in all very fun take on the prompt.

      Reply
      1. Connor A. Avatar
        Connor A.

        Thanks! Rest assured that the sword isn’t gone forever, but they certainly won’t be able to use it for awhile. I do look forward to writing more of these two, and I especially can’t wait to show off Stephanie on a technical level (as she’s a result of me wanting to challenge myself to flesh out a specific character archetype as much as possible without losing its core traits).

        Reply
    3. Lunabear Avatar
      Lunabear

      This is a fun take on the prompt, Connor. I definitely buy that this is how teenagers act when they find something really cool and mysterious to them. I love that their characters bleed through in different ways. It’s also quite intriguing to see how they laugh when the sword does what it does at the end. It’s a release of tension and nerves. I’m definitely intrigued to see more of this storyline and this pair. Thank you for posting.

      Reply
      1. Connor A. Avatar
        Connor A.

        Thanks! Writing teenagers being teenagers in spite of their situation in the world and plot is really therapeutic after seeing a lot of media where they aren’t allowed to be the young goofballs that they can be. And I look forward to showing this more in other submissions set in this world.

        Reply
  25. Marx Avatar
    Marx

    I’m Not Standing Still, I’m Lying in Wait
    By Marx

    “I hate this!” Shayna ranted, pacing back and forth, angrily flipping an ornate butterfly knife open and closed.

    “They didn’t mean to slight you, child.” Teriana stated calmly, watching the weapon with intrigue. “You were left here for your own protection.”

    “Against demons!” Shayna stamped her feet. “I’m a demon hunter! It’s literally what I DO! It’s an insult! Also, I’m not a child!”

    Teriana smiled warmly. “I see all mortals as children.”

    “I’m the same age as Matt.”

    “Matt is not mortal.”

    Shayna scowled. “How are you so okay with being left behind all the time?! You’re a literal goddess! Doesn’t it make you feel-?”

    “Useless?” Teriana nodded. “Of course it does. The difference is that I don’t see that as a bad thing.”

    “…how-?”

    “Because, child… Laila was literally created for combat. Mara was born in Hell and had to fight for everything. They have both the power…” Teriana motioned to herself. “…as well as the inclination to fight.” She motioned to Shayna.

    Shayna rolled her eyes. “I get that it makes logical sense, but I don’t see why I should be happy about it. If you don’t want to fight because you’re a hippie plant lady or whatever, knock yourself out. But I was born for this too. I had to fight all my life too. I have power too!”

    “Of course you do, child.” Teriana smiled. “I fully believe that you wouldn’t be here without a reason. Your time will come. As will mine. For now, we wait. We remain diligent. We look for our moment. And when it comes… we seize it. Be it a moment of triumph or a moment to go out in a blaze of glory.”

    Shayna narrowed her gaze. “I don’t think I like that implication being the mortal of the two of us…”

    “Death comes for us all, child.” Teriana placed a reassuring hand on Shayna’s shoulder. “Even those who claim immortality. Our lives are merely longer. Our end goal is the same. To look for those moments to leave our mark and grab them before she can grab us.”

    Reply
    1. C. M. Weller Avatar
      C. M. Weller

      I have to go on record as being totally weak against the whole {“I am not a child”/Stamping feet} combo in any order. It’s one of my qualifiers for peak comedy. Have them deny the thing whilst also providing evidence that yes, yes they are.

      Does the demon hunter gain some form of power/freedom in the story to come? I don’t think Shayna’s going to put up with being boxed in for very long.

      Reply
      1. Marx Avatar
        Marx

        Lol! I am very much a fan of that particular combo as well. It doesn’t get old. Though to answer your other question, yes actually. Shayna does end up getting a bit of a power boost.

        Reply
    2. Hastaw Avatar
      Hastaw

      I like the logical and philosophical comments that Teriana makes, which do not emotionally relate with Shayna. The main character seems full of fire, whereas the supporting character just goes with the flow. They seem totally incompatible, which makes this exchange enjoyable. Both the characters combine to create a unique insight, which you demonstrate excellently.

      Reply
      1. Marx Avatar
        Marx

        There is a considerable age gap between the two lol. And Teri has just been through enough that she’s learned the value of patience in these situations. But I am really glad they’re opposing dynamic came through so well. Thank you so much for the review.

        Reply
    3. Connor A. Avatar
      Connor A.

      My main assumption is that Shayna is the glass sword in question because of how this story is centered around her own feelings on her situation, though a small part of me wants to say it’s Teriana because of her nature as a goddess who doesn’t fight. Regardless of who it is, the dynamic they share—like the rest of the character dynamics in this world—is really fascinating. It’s mother-child like for two people who don’t seem all that close; I can’t wait to see how this develops.

      Reply
      1. Marx Avatar
        Marx

        One of the parts of this story that just… happened because the characters take a life of their own is that Teri does kind of end up becoming a mother-like figure to the new additions in the group. It wasn’t intentional, but it makes for some very interesting conversations.

        As for the glass sword in question? There are multiple ways it could be taken and that was done on purpose. Shayna is the obvious one, but as you said, Teriana fits the bill just as well. As does mortality itself.

        Reply
    4. Lunabear Avatar
      Lunabear

      First line hook me instantaneously, Marx. Your titles and openers never disappoint, neither do your stories as a whole.

      Honestly, this very much feels like a mother daughter situation. Shayna is hot headed and impatient and antsy, which is understandable, while Teriana is patient and understanding and calm. I also really love the little detail of Shayna flipping the butterfly knife open and closed. It shows that she’s very skilled and using it, and it displays her affection for the weapon.

      If I have to hazard a guess, I would say that the glass sword in this situation is mortality. Either that, or the waiting. Mortals are quite fragile, even if many of us are convinced otherwise. We all live perilously close to death each and every day without even understanding that we do, and in the end, we all lose out to death. How philosophical.

      On the other hand, waiting for something really boils down to how it’s done. Time passes no matter what we do, but it’s how we spend it that counts mostly. If it is something that we are eager for, time usually feels as though it passes quickly, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. If it’s something that was dreading or reluctant to do, then time has the illusion of dragging on, prolonging the inevitable. But time moves as time does, regardless of who, or what, is experiencing it.

      Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed myself with this story. This world never ceases to amaze me, and you navigate it so splendidly with your writing and your characters and your atmosphere and your building of it. I am incredibly excited to see what comes next. Thank you so very much for posting.

      Reply
      1. Marx Avatar
        Marx

        Lol I work so hard on the titles and openers so I really appreciate that. And yes! I did put the butterfly knife bit in just to show that Shayna was talented with weapons to the extent that using one even casually helps when she’s irritated.

        And I’ll be honest, I actually had everything but the last paragraph written and then I had personal loss, which did end up making it’s way into that last bit at the end, so the philosophical bits were definitely me just… pondering things that happened to work really well for the story I was writing.

        On a less heavy note though, it’s also the difference between someone who has a mortal lifetime and someone who’s lived for multiple mortal lifetimes. One would just naturally be more attuned to waiting.

        Thank you very much for your review! As much as you enjoy reading the stories, I enjoy your takes.

        Reply
    5. Makokam Avatar
      Makokam

      Quick! Somebody call Goku to teach these ladies the Fusion dance! They’ll wreck everybody’s face!

      I guess Shayna is the glass sword here. In that if she tried to go into combat against these demons she’d die immediately. Alternately, it could be Teriana in that’s not meant for combat at ALL.

      I can’t help but imagine Shayna running in to fight like it’s Blade or something, only for it to be DBZ.

      Reply
      1. Marx Avatar
        Marx

        Ha! A fusion dance would absolutely work in this case. Though! Funnily enough, and I’ll think you’ll appreciate this, one of the main inspirations for this story was a bit in TMNT Secret of the Ooze. That bit where Splinter basically tells Kino that Splinter has the skills and Kino has the youth but only the turtles have both and that’s why the turtles are fighting and those two are left behind. I’ve just always liked that scene lol.

        And yeah, even if Shayna was fine to fight the demons, with the power levels Matt, Layla and Mara are throwing around, you could see why they wouldn’t want to take any unnecessary chances.

        Reply
  26. VeryBoringName Avatar
    VeryBoringName

    Touch of time
    By: VeryBoringName

    She picked up the sword and placed it on a nearby table, it was truly a mighty sword. She remembered everything the weapon went through, and she was sad that its King has stopped using it for such a long time. But at the same time, she remembered a new place and glory of a different kind awaits it.

    She placed her hand gently on the blade, and ran her finger on the edge, dulling it, the compacted steel at last relaxed, letting itself breath. And with that she took a bit of ochre powder, and mixed it with water. She took a small brush and painted lines with the paint.

    To anyone that would not be able to look within the blade, it would seem normal, but a network, a webbing of thin, interconnected lines now chewed at the core of it, perhaps one could spot just at the surface, the faintest hint of it.

    Then she looked at the handle, and sensed the wood and animal skin in it wanting to finally go to rest, and while many of them could not yet let their bonds go and become something new. But every cell that could be freed was by her hand.

    And then she finally let the sword rest on the table, it was not as it once was, it was no longer a mighty blade, touched by time indeed it was through and through, not much better in its ability than a sword of glass now. The King of the land entered screaming to his chamber. He leapt to his trusty mighty sword, his hand passing through her neck, before going back the way it entered with the sword.

    She, unfazed, stood up, and passed through the King, and the soldiers chasing after him, she remembered she would no longer need to concern herself with him. The heir to the kingdom meanwhile, she remembered, now needed urgent attention, after all, the young man will soon be crowned, and hairs would not grow grey, and the skin would not wrinkle by itselfl.

    Reply
    1. C. M. Weller Avatar
      C. M. Weller

      Mandatory spelling nit: breath is the noun. Breathe is the verb.

      I can see how Time has made the sword friable as the glass sword of the prompt, and similarly how all things come to an end. So yay you did a thing where a dummins like me can actually see the parallels.

      I like the idea of Time painting blades with Rust, or hair with Grey. That’s a good one.

      Reply
    2. Ann W. T Avatar
      Ann W. T

      It did not occurred to me that the narrator was Time itself o.o

      I thought she was maybe some powerful mage and was actually quite impressed she dulled the sword with her own fingers. Still, that was quite interesting! It is so very fun to use these ‘odd narrators’ from time to time (in my opinion at least), it was a very interesting read! Very nicely done~

      Reply
    3. SunflowerBoi Avatar
      SunflowerBoi

      I adored this. This a wonderful take on the prompt, however; there is a spelling error at the end being “itself.” Now, your use of imagery was amazing for the piece as well as using slight movements to characterize Time. In the descriptions, you painted alot to be seen in the reader’s mind. Well done.

      Reply
  27. C. M. Weller Avatar
    C. M. Weller

    I Want to Speak to my Rules Lawyer
    C. M. Weller

    The heart of evil shall not be stopped by a weapon made of metal or stone or wood, the seers said. Not by a weapon made by the hand of man, not by a weapon made in the night or the day, and not by a weapon wielded by a man or a woman.

    Thus the corrupting heart of Henkoryx beat secure in his rotten chest, as he believed that only time would stop him. Even then, there was magic to draw life out for even longer. Well. What passes for life.

    He had no fear of any team of heroes coming to end his reign of terror. He used them to extend his existence, devouring their power and making decorations out of the weapons they tried to end him with.

    This hero seemed no different. Their sword was black, and allowed light to show through it in an oddly red-brown hue. What it was amused him.

    “Let me guess,” scoffed Henkoryx. “An obsidian blade forged during a solar eclipse? I have a dozen. Have you seen my chandeliers?” He gestured up towards some seemingly black shards, arranged around the glowing soul-light that lit this arena. “I cannot be defeated by a weapon wielded by a man or a woman. And yes, underaged ones count.”

    He didn’t put up a fight, just spread his arms in welcome. “Nobody can meet ALL the expectations, don’t feel bad,” he said. “That’s for later.”

    The hero charged. They always did. Henkoryx enjoyed the looks on their faces when they realised it wasn’t going to work. It was almost as good as the shocked horror as he sucked out their souls to further fuel his existence.

    The soul-light had been growing a little dim. Too long between heroes.

    The obsidian blade pierced his heart, but this one didn’t shatter when the hilt hit his breastbone.

    The hero sneered. “I was born intersex,” they said. “And I’m agender.”

    This time, the sword foretold stopped his rotten and blackened heart, and all was still.

    Reply
    1. Alex Avatar
      Alex

      Gotta love a group of plucky adventurers sticking it to a smug villain with a superiority complex. It was a really satisfying end. I really am a sucker for killing the bad guy, right when they are gloating about their supposed invincibility. The fact that he has obsidian blades on his chandelier is a really nice detail.

      Also, I do love loopholes to divine rules. The heroes stuck to the stipulations of the task and still came out ahead. It was a fun story, which I really enjoyed reading.

      Well done!

      Reply
      1. C. M. Weller Avatar
        C. M. Weller

        Rules-lawyering invulnerability clauses is fun 😀

        Reply
    2. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
      Arith_Winterfell

      Another interesting piece from you, Weller. It was interesting in how you took the typical tropes of fantasy, such as the villain with a a blackened heart who appears to be evil for the sake of evil, and who sucks out souls for fun and profit. From there you took the traditions of super hard to fulfill prophecy and made it into an entertaining exploration of how other heroes have failed (e.g. the chandeliers and trophies the villain keeps) and how an intersex and agender hero overcomes the villain. My only suggestions come from the thought that the story could be expanded upon more in the future, perhaps with having a more nuanced villain combined with expanded exploration of the heroes struggle with their agender identity before it proves to be key in overcoming the villain. Still all in all a good short story exploring the problems of prophecy in fantasy.

      Reply
      1. C. M. Weller Avatar
        C. M. Weller

        I don’t have any immediate plans to expand this one, but I shall keep it in mind in case it waves its feelers at me.

        Reply
    3. Marx Avatar
      Marx

      Lol can I just say how much I love that title. The story itself was equally glorious. You gotta love prophecies that are THAT specific. I can easily see why Henkoryx was so cocky. Especially when he can extend his life from the failures of other heroes.

      But I think my favorite bit is that people were able to figure out the weapon problem. It was just the gender that was the last sticking point. Having all of that culminate in the end was extremely satisfying. Great take on the prompt!

      Reply
      1. C. M. Weller Avatar
        C. M. Weller

        I was honestly stuck on the glass sword until I tried to figure out WHY the glass sword. And then it was on.

        Reply
    4. Makokam Avatar
      Makokam

      I LOVE the title.

      …
      DOES obsidian count as glass? Or is it rather that previous blades shattered LIKE glass?
      [checks]
      Well, one source calls it volcanic glass, another other says “glass like”. So I guess that’s another one for the rules lawyers.

      Honestly, I was expecting it to be more of an obscure prophecy. Like he’d be killed by a shard of falling glass from a broken window or something.

      Every part of this was great though. Especially love the chandelier of obsidian blades.

      Reply
      1. C. M. Weller Avatar
        C. M. Weller

        Obsidian is volcanic glass and I, personally, find it to be awesome.

        Rules-lawyering prophecies is a grand tradition in some of the more Celtic-oriented lore. Including the use of one weapon that was forged during twilight on a sabbath by a woman.

        Though your idea of the falling _piece_ of glass is awesome because it isn’t even a _weapon_. Love it.

        Reply
  28. SunflowerBoi Avatar
    SunflowerBoi

    Through Grit Teeth
    By SunflowerBoi

    Percy’s heart broke at the sight and about a million different emotions came flooding in his mind at once. He caught a worried eye at the battered and bruised boy who was leaning against the doorway. Upon his reaction, Elliot turned his head to the floor as if that would be good cover to hide that blackened eye.

    “They had it coming.” The boy mumbled out.

    “I bet they did.” Percy sighed as he began to rummage around the flat for a first aid kit. “Come in and sit yourself on the couch, will you?”

    After a few minutes, Percy returned to the boy sitting stiff on the couch with a teal box in hand. Slumping the weight of his body onto the opposite side of the couch, he tore the lid of the kit and started scanning for anything useful.

    “Anything broken?”

    “No, nothing is broken.”

    “Good. Now, you mind telling me what happened?”

    “I got into a fight.”

    “No. Really? I thought that black eye was just for show. How did you get into a fight, Elliot?”

    Elliot fell silent with his head still hung low.

    “Well?” Percy’s words grew as thin as his patience.

    “The usual suspects, Liam and Alya, were talking smack about Caleb.” Elliot caved at his uncle’s gaze. “He’s gone through enough already, and he’s my friend. I told them to keep their mouths shut if they didn’t want to get punched in the throat, but no. No, they just kept raving on like hounds. So I went over to Liam, I gave a good swing to him first. Then, they both swung at me and the rest is history.”

    “I see.” Snapping the lid shut, Percy heaved out another sigh as he held a few wraps of bandages and an ice pack in his hands. “You sure nothing is broken?”

    “Nothing is broken, old man.”

    “Aye! First off, do not call me old, you scamp. Second, come here so I can see that black eye.”

    Reply
    1. Lunabear Avatar
      Lunabear

      I really like this take on the prompt, Sunflower. The relationship between Elliot and Percy is quite sweet. , The glass sword in this instance can be the longstanding rivalry between Elliot and Caleb, and Alya and Liam. It doesn’t take much to ignite violence between them, and their hits are very sharp.

      I remember Caleb from previous stories. His and Elliot’s friendship is so sweet and honest and tender. It makes sense that he would protect his beloved friend.

      Critiques:

      Elliot turned his head to the floor as if that would be good cover to hide that blacken(ed) eye.

      Elliot caved at his uncle’s gazed (gaze).

      Please, take these critiques with a grain of salt. This is still a sweet story overall. I can’t wait to see what you post next. Thank you for writing and sharing this.

      Reply
    2. Oathgiver Avatar
      Oathgiver

      I really like the dynamic between Elliot and Percy. It feels familial. Like Percy is more than an uncle to Elliot. More like a mentor, someone Elliot can go to when he is afraid of his fathers reaction. And the way you handled Percy grabbing a first aid kit tells me this is not the first time this has been done. Or even the 5th. Like “ Well, I guess were doin’ this again…”

      The only thing I found distracting from the story was use of the word “ slamming”. It seemed overly violent for the scene. Perhaps “dropping” or “slumping” … Im not sure.

      I did enjoy the read though. Keep at it.

      Reply

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