Writing Group: The Flesh Horse

Hello Devout Worshippers and Horrified Newcomers!

I hope you have your heads bowed and your minds untethered from reality. In light of what happened last Saturday on the stream…

This week’s Writing Group prompt is:

The Flesh Horse

RULES AND GUIDELINES BELOW!
Make sure you scroll down and read them if you haven’t! You may not be eligible if you don’t!

It all began one April afternoon last year, when Arith Winterfell graced us with a story of a dream, a hallway, and a horse made of flesh. Not to be confused with ordinary horses—this was something far more spooky and sinister; dead flesh crawling along the floor, coalescing into the form of a horse. A dream. A vision. An eldritch revelation. (Here is the link to that story: “At the Nexus,” written for the End of the Hallway—the first Flesh Horse story. And the second canon story Arith wrote about The Flesh Horse for Hour of the Wolf “Things Unseen“).

I don’t remember what got us all attached to the idea of the Flesh Horse, but we certainly did, proceeding to mention it in subsequent streams, and the streams after that, until we mentioned it almost every stream. All the while adding to its lore, creating stories about The Flesh Horse, and terrifying the new arrivals with our devotion. 

I’ve been talking about making it a prompt, and better yet an April Fools prompt, for a while now, and it’s finally here! It’s time to pour all your admiration and horror into your stories this week. 

Now’s the time to write those stories you joked about during the stream, about the Flesh Horse fending off lag goblins, of watching our streams, or flitting in and out of universes to dine on the best of BBQ, roasts, and human sanity. 

If you are someone who writes all their stories in the same universe, you could have The Flesh Horse grace your universe—whether as something canon to your world, or an AU. I’d love to read about how your personal characters would react to the character we’ve been collectively discussing and joking about all these months. The Flesh Horse is an eldritch being after all; it might not even appear in the fleshy, horsey form we’ve come to know and love. You’ll just have to make it clear it is The Flesh Horse somehow.  

If you find yourself completely at a loss for how to use THE Flesh Horse in your story, you could easily write about a generic horse, or generic horse’s flesh. You could even make the joke we often make on the stream “Aren’t ALL horses’ flesh horses?” in your story. Or you could write about a dead horse, such as one who fell in a battle. Or you could write about a place where horse flesh is considered a delicacy. Perhaps a talking horse gets hurt during a race and tells their jockey “Tis but a flesh wound!” 

You could even write about flesh and a horse as separate things, but together in one story, finding some way to connect them. Such as a horse getting disgusted by seeing the flesh of a dead animal on the side of the road. Or a horse bucking off a rider, and the rider saying something like “You cut my flesh, Horse!” 

Now, do keep in mind that The Flesh Horse was Arith Winterfell’s original idea, and ultimately belongs to him—our stories are more like fanfiction of his character. If you are concerned with making sure the Flesh Horse is accurate to canon, or simply want to make sure you are being respectful of his character, you can feel free to contact Arith himself. 

I do also want to call attention to something The Flesh Horse itself mentioned last Saturday: we do still have guidelines. This prompt very much lends itself to gore, horror, and death, but your stories are still meant to be “safe for work” and will still be disqualified if they break this rule. If you are ever unsure if your story breaks the rules, don’t hesitate to contact me to give it another look. 

Also, if you decide to create art of The Flesh Horse, especially this week, tag me!

No challenge for this week. I think this prompt is challenge enough. 

Now, go forth, my friends. Run to the edge of the known universe, fall into another. Gaze into the abyss. But don’t be surprised when gazes back. Or tries to eat your fingers.

—Kaylie & Paul

Remember, this is part of our weekly Writing Group stream! Submit a little piece following the rules and guidelines below, and there’s a chance your entry will be read live on stream! In addition, we’ll discuss it for a minute and give you some feedback.

Tune into the stream this Saturday at 3:00pm CST to see if you made the cut!

The whole purpose of this is to show off the creativity of the community, while also helping each other to become better writers. Lean into that spirit! Get ready not just to share what you’ve got, but to give back to the other writers here as well.

Rules and Guidelines

We read at least five stories during each stream, two of which come from the public post, and three of which come from the much smaller private post. Submissions are randomly selected by a bot, but likes on your post will improve your chances of selection, so be sure to share your submission on social media!

  1. Text and Formatting

    1. English only.
    2. Prose only, no poetry or lyrics.
    3. Use proper spelling, grammar, and syntax.
    4. Your piece must be between 250-350 words (you can use this website to see your wordcount).
    5. Use two paragraph breaks between each paragraph so that they have a proper space between them (press “enter” or “return” twice).
    6. Include a submission title and an author name (doesn’t have to be your real name). Do not include any additional symbols or flourishes in this part of your submission. Format them exactly as you see in this example, or your submission may not be eligible: Example Submission.
    7. No additional text styling (such as italics or bold text). Do not use asterisks, hyphens, or any other symbol to indicate whether text should be bold, italic, or styled in any other way. CAPS are okay, though.
  2. What to Submit

    1. Keep submissions “safe-for-work”; be sparing with sexuality, violence, and profanity.
    2. Try to focus on making your submission a single meaningful moment rather than an entire story.
    3. Write something brand new; no re-submitting past entries or pieces written for other purposes
    4. No fan fiction whatsoever. Take inspiration from whatever you’d like, but be transformative and creative with it. By submitting, you also agree that your piece does not infringe on any existing copyrights or trademarks, and you have full license to use it.
    5. Submissions must be self-contained (everything essential to understanding the piece is contained within the context of the piece itself—no mandatory reading outside the piece required. e.g., if you want to write two different pieces in the same setting or larger narrative, you cannot rely on information from one piece to fill in for the other—they must both give that context independently).
  3. Submission Rules

    1. One submission per participant.
    2. Submit your entry in a comment on this post.
    3. Submissions close at 12:00pm CST each Friday.
    4. You must like and leave a review on two other submissions to be eligible. Your reviews must be at least 50 words long, and must be left directly on the submission you are reviewing, not on another comment. If you’re submitting to the private post, feel free to leave these reviews on either the private or the public post. The two submissions you like need not be the same as the submissions you review.
    5. Be constructive and uplifting. These submissions are not for a professional market, and shouldn’t be treated as such. We do this, first and foremost, for the joy of the craft. Help other writers to feel like their work is valuable, and be considerate and gentle with critique when you offer it. Authors who leave particularly abrasive or disheartening remarks on this post will be disqualified from selection for readings.
    6. Use the same e-mail for your posts, reviews, and likes, or you may be rendered ineligible (you may change your username or author name between posts without problem, however).
    7. You may submit to either or both the public/private groups if you have access, but if you decide to submit to both, only the private group submission will be eligible.
    8. Understand that by submitting here, you are giving us permission to read your submission aloud live on stream and upload public, archived recordings of said stream to our social media platforms. You will always be credited, but only by the author name you supply as per these rules. No other links or attributions are guaranteed.

Comments on this post that aren’t submissions will be deleted, except for replies/reviews left on existing submissions.


Comments

201 responses to “Writing Group: The Flesh Horse”

  1. The Cartographers Notebook Avatar
    The Cartographers Notebook

    SUNSHINE RESORT
    By the cartographers notebook

    The scent of sweet lemonade mixed with the stench of rotting flesh spread over the patio. The summer resort was bathed in a ray of brilliant sunshine and a soft breeze made its way through the mix of swimsuits and Hawaii shirts.

    Death was sitting in the shade, his “Sunshine resort”, cap slightly tilted to shield his empty eyesockets while writing in his notebook.
    It’s not that Death hadn’t wanted a vacation. Working nonstop for 10.000 years straight took a strain on the body, even if that body turns out to be that of an immortal celestial.

    No, Death had wanted a vacation. It was only after they had arrived that Death realized a very important detail.
    That detail is that a giant rotting horse doesn’t make a good roommate.

    The beast had been on Deaths back about the vacation for a couple of millenniums. “What are we gonna wear?”, “When are we going”, and “Does this saddle make me seem too pretentious”, had been drilled into Death’s head, much like one of those nails that had hung up Death’s nephew.

    Margot, the mount of Death, had insisted they went to this, “resort”. Being who Death was, they could attend in complete secrecy from the mortal inhabitants. To everyone else, they looked like your usual tourist and his trusty mount.

    The problem arose when “the trusty mount”, had insisted on going for a swim. In the pool.
    What had followed had been a chaotic attempt of explaining to the staff of the resort why a horse had decided to go for a swim in the basin, and subsequent wrestling with Margot to get them out of the pool.

    So now Death was sitting, covered from top to toe in rotten horseflesh, stinking of the cheap resort perfume, lemonade in hand, and a stupid promotional cap on his bony head.
    First day of the vacation.
    “This is going to be a long holiday, isn’t it?”

    1. nice-day Avatar
      nice-day

      The idea of Death and its steed as almost like old married couple is a lot of fun. Also, you made great use of smell when setting the scene, which, as I read your work, I realised I had neglected in my own!

      I also liked the reversal of the horse having ‘been on Death’s back’.

      Just a very minor nitpick:

      ‘That detail is that a giant rotting horse doesn’t make a good roommate.’

      This is a change of tense from the rest of the story. Maybe change ‘is’ to ‘being’? Like I said, only very minor.

      Great work.

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  3. nice-day Avatar
    nice-day

    Meat and Greet
    by nice-day

    Beth shook her head disapprovingly. “Dad, this is by far the worst idea you’ve ever had.” she said.

    Her father looked genuinely surprised. “Why’s that?”

    A tricky question; How does one go about explaining that placing a life-size effigy of a horse made from offcuts of meat in the middle of a public pavement is a bad idea without insulting the intelligence of one’s conversation partner? After careful consideration, Beth went with: “Because you want to attract business to the shop, not drive it away.”

    It was eight on a clear, May morning. Ordinarily the pavements that flanked the high street would have had an even share of pedestrians, but today there was a noticeable lack of footfall in front of the Farrier Family Butcher Shop.

    “Nonsense,” said Beth’s father, slapping the beast’s flank. Beth flinched from the resulting spray of meat juice. “This is peak viral marketing. Billy thinks it’s a great idea!”

    Through the shop window, Beth could see her older brother mincing beef behind the counter. He looked up at her, and then sheepishly away.

    “Now,” said Beth’s father, pulling his phone out from under his apron, “If you wouldn’t mind just-“

    “I am not sitting on the meat horse!” Beth growled. Her father pocketed his phone, grumbling that her sister would have done it. He was probably right, seeing has how the horse would have been the brains of that pairing.

    From Beth’s left came an awful sound, like a cat coughing up hairballs laced with gravel. Mr. Bentley the newsagent was vomiting loudly on his own doorstep. It was possible that this was unrelated to the presence of the equine meatstrocity, but unlikely.

    Beth looked at her father meaningfully. Her father looked back at her, then at Mr. Bentley, and then at the horse. “Maybe I should have made it smaller.”

    Beth rolled her eyes. “I’m going to be late for school,” she said and stalked off up the street, batting angrily at the gathering flies.

    “Don’t worry,” her father called after her. “They’ll lose interest once it dries out.”

    Mr. Bentley vomited again.

  4. IntenseSpooks Avatar
    IntenseSpooks

    A Horse With no Name
    by IntenseSpooks

    The sky is dark with clouds emitting an eerie glow, not that it is ever any different from that around here, dust and sand are everywhere, unpolished, rusted, and distorted metal surfaces littering the landscape. My clothes are sealed like a prison while I walk this poisonous wasteland in search of anything with the slightest value, some call me stupid but I prefer the term brave.

    A strong wind blows on my back as I walk, as if trying to draw me farther into the wastelands. Coincidentally, the more I walk today, the less I see any semblance of loot, maybe I will go just a bit deeper.

    Thunder is striking, seems like a storm is approaching and I should find some cover soon.

    Is that… a dead body? What is it doing here and how is it still perfectly preserved outside with all the radiation? It should be burnt like charcoal!

    The storm is intensifying, and so is my visibility wearing this stupid mask! I’ll try turning around and going all the way back, I hope I find somewhere to hide from this storm and whoever killed that person so brutally.

    Shit, It’s getting close, my Geiger counter is beeping rhythmically and I hear thumping sounds in the distance, but I have to keep my calm and endure

    I think I’ll die today… the storm is here, my counter is beeping nonstop and I can barely see a couple of meters ahead. Was any of this Worth it?

    More blood and fresh corpses lined with a ghostly green glow, but no burns… and what the hell is that clopping sound?

    From the fog of radioactive, I can see a faint silhouette and my counter is going insane, I can feel my skin burn.

    It is here now, an unthinkable horse-like creature made out of tens of screaming corpses with glowing green eyes, I’m armed and I won’t go down without a fight!

    I have joined them now… so much… pain. I feel I’m melting into its soul… please get me out of this hell!

    1. Strong Berry Avatar
      Strong Berry

      This is awesome. A true horror story. I liked the line “some call me stupid but I prefer the term brave.” It’s so good. I don’t have anything to critique, except for a tiny nitpick: The last paragraph could have a stronger effect when separated, for example with a line of “-” before it, to give the reader some pause between the fight and the consequences of losing to the Horse.

      Good job!

    2. himaji Avatar

      I like this story, it really gives one the chills and the character progression is nice. I also like that you made the horse absorb its victims. I feel like the line “some call me stupid but I prefer the term brave.” is kinda clichée but it fits in this story.

      I’d say you could kind of improve the tension with the horse reveal.
      maybe like “It is here now, the horse. An unthinkable […]”

      All in all well done, I like it.

  5. On the hunt
    by himaji

    Dear Anne,

    It’s been days now. We are still on the hunt. We found the girl… but she has got her mind twisted in wicked ways. She only talks about a horse, made out of flesh, moving, shaping, speaking to her. If you ask me, it’s all nonsense. The cold must have gotten to her, but our commander thinks her gibberish makes some sense, that’s why we hunt this mystical horse. I will keep you updated.

    For eternity in Love with you,
    Dan

    Dear Anne,

    Two weeks ago I wrote to you. I promised to keep you updated, but there isn’t much to update. The commander thinks we are getting close. I think so too. At first, I didn’t believe the girl and I didn’t think this Flesh Horse exists. “Flesh Horse”, that’s what we call it. Sometimes… sometimes I hear it in my dreams. It scares me, but at the same time, I want to know what it says. It’s so quiet. But it gets louder every day. Soon I will understand it. Wish me luck.

    With love and a neverending desire for you,
    Dan

    Dear Anne,

    It’s the middle of the night. I can finally understand what it says. It calls me. It means no harm. It begs for me to come visit it. It’s very lonely. It just needs someone to talk. I will visit it. It wants to change me, change us, change the world for the better. Our love, made possible. No more secret meetings in the night. It promised me. WE will be together, forever. I will go now. We will meet soon, I know it.

    Hoping for a future with you, forever,
    Dan

    Dear Anne,

    This is Derrick. Yesterday we found Dan. He was out there, laying in the snow. Parts of him were missing. We will return with the body in a few weeks. Anne, I am so sorry. If I can do anything for you, just give the word.

    Derrick

    1. Strong Berry Avatar
      Strong Berry

      This is great. Sad and horrifying, and done in a nice, uncommon format. I don’t have much to say because I liked it so much, but one thing I would suggest to improve is the spacing between the letters. For example, you could ad a long line of “-” between each one them to separate them better, but that’s only a nitpick. It’s very well-written.

      Good job!

  6. Iskritt Avatar

    The WHAT?! (Reality Itself)

    By: Iskritt

    “Explain! Now!”

    Death barged into Life’s domain loudly, the ‘waterfall’ of bones and decay that gave it form flowed very quickly, visualizing its anger.

    “Explain? Explain what?” Life asked, startled by the entrance, and confused by the anger.

    “That ABOMINATION is creating chaos everywhere!

    “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

    “How could you not?”

    Life shrugged. “I have created a lot of life. It’s easy to lose track of these things.”

    Death laughed. “Is it easy to forget the amalgamation of flesh running around defying all laws of reality? We are gods, we have standards. You didn’t even give the damn thing bones, and yet it somehow manages a coherent shape.

    Now it was Life’s turn to laugh. “I have created no such thing. I would certainly remember creating it if I had.”

    “Don’t lie to me.” Death said, moving towards Life threateningly. “We both know we are the only gods capable of creating sentient life, and I didn’t create that…that.. FLESH HORSE!”

    There was a pause, as if reality itself had to comprehend Death’s accusation.

    “Why would I create something like that?” Life asked. “It sounds like something Fear would have requested from you.”

    “I don’t know, to see if you could? Sheer boredom? It’s saving some people from certain death, so maybe just to insult me. No matter the reason, you need to fix it. Now.”

    Life turned away from Death, dismissing the demands. “I didn’t create it, so I have no attachment. You can dispose of it. That’s kind of your thing anyway.”

    “That’s the problem.” Death said. “I can’t die. It’s barely ‘alive’ to begin with. You need to un-create it.”

    “What makes you think I can even do that?”

    Suddenly, Time appeared in between Life and Death, interrupting Death’s rebuttal.

    “Life, go un-create it. It will work.” Time said. Life silently nodded and left.

    As soon as Life had gone, Time turned to Death.

    “What?” Death asked.

    Time sighed. “Be more thorough in the future. That thing is your fault.”

    1. Xavier21 Avatar

      This is certainly a unique addition to this prompt. Taking the focus of the deity behind the “creation” of Flesh horse rather than the Flesh Horse itself. I speculate that Time is the one to tell them the truth behind Flesh Horse because of a saying “only time could tell,” but that’s just my theory. From writing stand point I don’t have much to criticized since this is a well executed story other than the lack of prose or poetic language that certainly can make your story better (since this story is 338 words, I just think that this story can be benefited with some prose). Also, how can Death create life in the story since he/she pointed out that Life and Death are the only deities that can create sentient life

      1. Iskritt Avatar

        You are mostly right with the Time thing. My version of the god of Time is basically the all knowing entity who has seen all of Time and therefore knows exactly what will happen at all time.

        As for the Death creating life, I probably shouldn’t have put “life” when they were saying that. I should have just said sentient beings. Either way the type of thing I am thinking of that death creates would be the stereotypical undead type monsters like zombies or animated skeletons ect. Their association with death and the dead make them out of possibility for Life’s powers, but right in Death’s wheelhouse. Life and Death are obviously opposites but for the purposes of this canon I am slowly building I also want several of their “powers” to be the same, just done differently.

        Finally, as for the more poetic/prose like wording…yah I have no excuse. I don’t exactly have extensive poetic taste, so including it into my stories is something I have to very intentionally do, and I didn’t for this. Hopefully over time it becomes more natural.

        Thanks for your comment!

        1. Xavier21 Avatar

          Yeah, I suggest train on our prose or poetic language because not just that it makes your writing good, but you can also read something beautiful that you create on your own.

          Keep the good work

    2. Strong Berry Avatar
      Strong Berry

      A nice little comedy you made here about the Horse. Life and Death honestly behave like siblings or partners even, and Time is like the older sibling that keeps the two rascals in check. I do wonder thought, just how can death make life, let alone sentient one? And how the Horse is his fault? Why can life un-create it? So many questions from just one story! That’s an achievement!

      Good job!

  7. WriterOfThought Avatar
    WriterOfThought

    Revelation 6:5-6
    WriterOfThought

    Jynn swore that if she had to remain in this land for another minute, she would vomit all over it.

    Nothing made sense here. Nothing had could calm Jynn’s nerves when even the air seemed to wriggle.

    So many things were writhing in Jynn’s vision that she nearly believed herself to be hallucinating. But her other senses backed up what her eyes told her: the land was moving.

    Desperately trying to hold back the motion sickness, Jynn knelt down, doing what she could to attain a point of meditation despite the world undulating around her. The violet firmament she knelt on even seemed to breathe. Jynn had to collect herself.

    Before she could even achieve the meditative headspace, the ground rumbled and bubbled, as if it were boiling. Ahead of her emerged a beast, as if it had been inside the earth the entire time and merely had to shed its disguise. Jynn tried to look at it, but her brain refused to categorize what she was seeing.

    It had the shape of the most slender racehorse, and yet it possessed silky wings as graceful as a butterfly. The face remained hidden behind a veil, and it was the same indigo hue of the land around it.

    All of these were simple enough to comprehend, but no part of the creature was ever still. Every part of it wriggled and writhed in such ways that added to her growing nausea, and yet she could not look away.

    Or she wasn’t allowed to…

    Jynn now comprehended who she stood before, but no legend could accurately capture this monstrosity. What stood before her was both horse and horseman, and yet reflected the likeness of a dragon. With every blink, it seemed to shift and transform between the three, sometimes even appearing to hold swords or scales.

    And for the first time, Jynn’s senses and comprehension had to decide which was lying.

    Though she could not see its mouth move, a voice smooth as silk, but powerful as thunder, rang through her entire body, “I wonder why you aren’t dead.”

    1. MelancholicOtaku Avatar
      MelancholicOtaku

      Oh a demented flesh horse and their rider don’t know why but I’m getting nuckavee vibes from this(did I spell that right lol) Back to the story ,the sense of dread and wonder I got from reading this made this story worth it.
      Wondering is Jynn truly experiencing this or is it a hallucination,has our poor Jynn truly lost her mind and is all hope truly lost.
      Then there’s trying to figure out what exactly happened for Jynn to end up in this predicament.
      Good job need more

    2. Xavier21 Avatar

      I don’t really follow Jynn’s adventure from previous prompt, so I can only review this story as a close-minded person. I think it make sense that the Flesh Horse can be attributed to Famine since the horse is… in between state of life and death (which starving creature certainly are). However if you are interested, you should check out a creature named Nuckelavee, a sort of demon that symbolized pestilence (to both men and livestock), bad omen, and evil in Orcadian folklore (I guess you can say killing livestock can be attributed to Famine).

      With that aside, I think you somewhat capture the feel of Lovecraftian horror with the blended imagery of the Flesh Horse/Famine. This is certainly what Lovecraft usually do to describe something that is indescribable beyond human sense, that is, to create seemingly uncorrelated imagery of the creature as if the narrator could not make any sense of the creature.

      a little tip if you want to make Lovecraftian horror next time. Don’t make them talk (at least not in human language). If it is something that can talk, that means it can roughly be talked to, and if that something can be talked to, than that thing can be reason with, and if that thing can be reason with, then it can give a sort of predictability to the monster, and if that monster is predictable, then it certainly isn’t scary (or down right can be fight or not a serious threat even). Even if it’s just a little dialogue/monologue, it instantly destroy the illusion of the monster that is some thing that can’t be reason with. Something that you can either run from, hide from, or died from.

  8. A Gift Horse (Chronicles of The Dragon)
    By Makokam

    The universe is unfathomably huge to the minds of mortals, and seemingly always expanding. Yet so few are able to grasp that their own reality is but a small bubble in a far greater ocean. Bumping among other realities, other possibilities budding off. Entities small and large existing in the space between. Some that can barely be said to exist. Others that feed on those budding realities. Growing stronger on the pure possibility.

    Some becoming what these mortals call gods.

    Others of us, are wiser.

    Some of us, are older.

    We seek not to create, or to be worshiped. But to seek knowledge, true answers, and things that cannot be taken. To guide those that seek wisdom.

    For a price.

    Mortal souls are such a curiosity. So full of potential and possibilities. So full of desires.

    Wishes to be granted.

    Fools.

    They don’t realize how bound they are. Bound to “reality”, to “rules”, when they could be bound to nothing but their own will.

    .oOo.

    Jonathan poked his head into the stable, before walking further into the dark building. He squinted at the many empty stalls as his eyes adjusted to the lack of light. Suddenly, his eyes widened and he took a step back. Then he blinked, and leaned forward, not sure he was seeing what he thought he was.

    He walked back out and called, “Hey! Mira? What’s up with this weird flayed horse lookin’ thing? It’s giving me weird vibes! Reminds of the fuckin’ meat dragon Keres made!”

    “Oh! That’s Imogene’s!” Mira called back from across the grounds. “She wanted a horse for her…300th birthday? But there weren’t any where we lived at the time so I made her one! You can feed it if you want! There should be a fridge with snacks in it!”

    “’Flayed horse thing?’” Jostica asked, setting her tea down.

    .oOo.

    They truly don’t understand the vastness of what lays beyond. Their puny minds would reel at the mere thought of it, sending them into gibbering insanity, while wetting their appetite for knowledge and understan-

    Mmm carrot.

    1. I’m literally laughing out loud right now. You captured the funniest parts of a horrifying eldritch entity in two words: “Mmm Carrot.” This is hilarious and a joy to read. The thought that the horse is playing dumb or just so happened to be intelligent by creation. It feels like the age-old comedy tradition- serious next to silly. As always, Great job!

      1. Thank you!

        I’ve always loved duality in stories and characters, where they are two things that seem contradictory. Here, we have the Flesh Horse, an eldritch being who sees beyond reality and knows truths incomprehensible to mortals….but also it is a horse.

    2. I lost it at the punchline. I’m still laughing at it right as I write this.

      The arrogance of the Flesh Horse is supremely cat-like and I mean this as a compliment. Though in the case of cats, it’d be “Mmm fishie”

      Mira just up and made a creature of nightmares and gifted it with Feline Supremacy Complex. And I think it’s the first thing that’s canonically weirded out your aggressive dragon dude. Appropriate.

      1. Thank you!

        I’m glad you liked the speech so much. It took so long to get something that sounded right.

        I will say that Mira did not create the mind, the being, that is the Flesh Horse, she merely created the body….and called something greater than she realized to inhabit it.

    3. IntenseSpooks Avatar
      IntenseSpooks

      God be damned this is the first time I laughed so hard in one of theese stories and such a nice narrative flair, that the narrator gives, I love it! Even the reaction of the onlookerss beeing nonchalant just made it funnier. Keep at it with the truly great work.

      1. Thank you!

        I’m happy to hear you enjoyed it so much.

    4. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
      Arith_Winterfell

      A great story Makokam! I really loved the blend of internal monologue, following by Johnathan being weirded out, and then the punchline at the end had me smiling. It was a really nice touch actually! I loved it! 😀

      1. Thank you!

        I really tried to stay as true to original idea as I could. I feel like I didn’t quite hit the mark, but I’m really happy you liked it. ^_^

    5. Alexlalpaca Avatar
      Alexlalpaca

      That is a neat idea, a story from the perspective of the flesh horse. I also must say I love it and I want to pet it now.

      Now, the critique part. It is hard to do comedic timing at all in a written medium, so it’s truly an accomplishment to have done it so effectively here, and with (or probably because) of such a long setup. It’s not often that I laugh out loud with these stories, and you have done it! Great job.

      And it’s a bit of a silly detail but I like your using of .oOo. to separate paragraphs, looks rather fancy!

      1. Thank you!

        This particular one would probably welcome some pets.

        I’m really happy my idea seems to have come across as funny as I thought it was when I came up with.

        And thank you, I’m quite fond of doing that for scene breaks.

  9. Draft Horse
    By: Sam C. [TW: disturbing imagery]

    This was it. It would be Brilliant! Stronger than anything else, it would be the ultimate beast of burden!

    The storm approached. The final stitches made. It would all happen tonight. The storm clouds coagulated. Lightning struck.

    “IT’S NOT ALIVE!?” He screeched in fury.

    He kicked the wall. Why did these things never work? The ultimate in farmyard utility, and it just wouldn’t wake up! Fine! He’d try again. He would get it right, and when he did, he would be adored. Worshipped. He would be God.

    *************

    “Horse draft #56,” he sighed to himself. He swore he’d never give up. That man was dead and buried. If this didn’t work, he swore he’d never do anything ever again.

    The storm approached. The final stitches sloppily thrown on. The clouds drifted along. Thunder rolled in the background.

    “It’s… not alive…” He thought dejectedly. He turned on his heels, went over to the wall, and slid down, crying into his arms. He didn’t hear the trembling of the creation.

    It.. it was alive! And it was horrible. Hundreds of muscles tied together in a disorderly heap, it was little more than a pile of flesh. LIVING flesh.

    He looked up at his abomination. He screamed and dashed out the door. That was his worst mistake. The innate urge to run piqued within the beast, and it took flight.

    He ran in futility, forgetting all that he had made it for. It was faster, cutting him off at every turn. He tried and he tried, but no matter where he went, the horse was there.

    He kicked and screamed as it ate at him, muscle by muscle he was consumed and became part of the stallion. It ran, looking for more grazing. It was hungry, after all. And humans were what it craved.

    *************

    Such as it ate, it grew. It ate more, entire dimensions. It grazed on planets and nebulas, eating entire universes as it grew in power.

    Eventually, it was taken in by a kindly group of storytellers, where it was worshipped, loved, and given the only thing it hadn’t: a home.

    1. Oh wow. That’s a dark turn I wasn’t expecting.

      Well, at least this time the creator was justified in running screaming from his creations. XD

      What did it eat to grow to planet size though? Surely there couldn’t be that much meat on earth.

      I am glad it got a happy ending…even if it was after the demise of how many dimensions and universes? I mean, how many more did we save? We’re heroes!

  10. MelancholicOtaku Avatar
    MelancholicOtaku

    Raagi vs The Rotting Mirage(Lost Forest chronicles)

    By: MelancholicOtaku

    “Have ever I told you the story of Raagi and his battle with The Rotting Mirage, or as you humans may know it as the flesh horse?” The toll keeper asked.
    ’Tis was a rare and beautiful night for the two, the moon illuminating beautifully, the spirits were in a good mood, a perfect night to enjoy the embrace of the fire.
    “ Raagi the god of war …fought a flesh horse.” Elyn chuckled.

    The Toll keeper nodded, this was one of his favorite tales to share, especially on nights like this. Although Raagi himself begged to differ.
    “ Why yes, it’s quite a tale indeed.” Toll keeper replied, taking off his owl mask, showing his pleasing silver eyes.

    “Once when the world was still new, a young man with fiery red hair, wearing the fur of the forest’s most gruesome predators, the man known as Raagi was taking a stroll in his favorite forest.

    For you see Raagi after a nice long hunt was in a splendid mood, good food and ale to boot. But now he was feeling something a bit sweet, maybe a mixture of strawberries and blueberries drizzled with honey.
    The combination always brought a smile to Raagi face.

    Now in this forest there was a bush that grows the most delicious of fruits, and it was a beautiful sight to look out, a edible rainbow.
    However, something was different, something terribly wrong had happened. Instead of gorgeous colors and green fields, surrounded by tall trees, Raagi’s favorite spot was gone.

    No instead it was replaced with a gray and barren landscape. The main culprit was right in front him, a giant horse made of oozing decomposed flesh. The foul creature let out a guttural moan as it got ready to attack.

    It was an epic battle indeed, Raagi furiously swinging his axed, the horse using its powerful legs and hooves to bruise the young god
    Then it was over and for now Raagi was triumphant.” The toll keeper finished-enjoying the sight in front of him.

    1. nice-day Avatar
      nice-day

      I really enjoyed the scene-setting, especially in the early paragraphs. You achieved a lot with the few words available. I could almost feel the warmth of the fire and see the dancing of the shadows!

      With the last line, are you implying that it is the look on Elyn’s face that the Toll Keeper is enjoying? If so, maybe just an extra couple of words to make that clearer.

      Otherwise, very well done!

  11. Lee Strangely Avatar
    Lee Strangely

    Nihtmær
    by Lee Strangely

    He was only just over a year old. The unicorn’s body was still so, so small. His horn little more than a conical nub… Far too young to see such horrible things.

    The unicorn lay there, helpless, quietly crying in fear and pain as the creature’s hoof slowly pressed harder on his horn. Cracks grew along it like branches, the sound so sickeningly loud that the young unicorn heard it from where he stood.

    The thing that stood over the unicorn clearly had hooves, even some teeth poking out…but those were the only features he could clearly see. The rest remained unseen underneath a tattered, once-white cloth that clung to its vaguely equine form like wet leaves, hanging down like a cloak. Three ragged, black birds sat along back. Two perched close to the neck, one atop its head.

    “Let him go!” the young unicorn shouted.

    The two birds in the back turned to him.

    Each one seemingly continued the other, cawing, “Turn back to the field…”

    “little one…”

    “Go, while you still might…”

    “…slumber in peace…”

    He began to trot into the water, “Leave him be.”

    “Or what…

    “…child?”

    “I-I’m not a child!” he shouted with as much conviction as he could muster.

    “Then what…

    “…are…”

    “…you?” the two crows jeered.

    “…I … I-I… I’m a stallion!”

    “A stallion?!”

    “Yes, a big powerful stallion!”

    The two crows looked at one another.

    “A stallion?” the third muttered in a deep rumble, “how odd… You don’t sound like a stallion.”

    The equine creature’s head turned.

    Stained cloth. Crimson flesh. A dead white eye peered through. “You don’t look like a stallion… You look like a little lying foal… Do you have a name?”

    He tried faking assertiveness, “Do YOU?”

    “I might’ve… Not one that I remember anymore…”

    “W-what are you then? What, do others call you?”

    “There is something… A word you Houyhnhnms use… a Nihtmær, I believe…”

    Chills crept along the young unicorn’s mane.

    “You should’ve listened to the birds’ warning.”

    The trembling young unicorn took another step forward, stomping his hoof into the ground, “I’m not, a-a-afraid of you.”

    1. MelancholicOtaku Avatar
      MelancholicOtaku

      Oh this interesting ,is the world inhabited by equestrian like creatures,I’m getting a not child friendly mlp vibe from this story.
      The chills you get while reading about this foul creature,the scared unicorn child afraid but showing a bit of courage too.Makes for a good story.

    2. himaji Avatar

      Okay, this is such a good story. The dialog between the birbs is my absolute favourite part of the story. Also the “There is something… A word you Houyhnhnms use… a Nihtmær, I believe…” Is such a banger. I really like how you wrote the Humans and Nightmare, just gives it more personality.

      The ending is good, but I would have liked the flesh horse to have the last action, this is just personal pref though ^^

      Oh and maybe I am wrong but “The unicorn lay there” -> “The unicorn lays there”

      All in all a very strong story

  12. MasaCur Avatar

    An Unexpected Visit
    By MasaCur

    Nabiki frowned as she read over Derek’s shoulder. “What the heck is a Flesh Horse?”

    Derek jumped as soon as he heard her voice. “Don’t do that! When did you get here?”

    Nabiki shrugged nonchalantly. “Just now. So, uh, Flesh Horse?”

    “It’s, uh, it’s kind of a meme on my writing group stream. Like an, um, an inside joke.”

    “So, what is it? Is it a horse covered in flesh? Because, you know what I call those?”

    Derek kept looking at Nabiki with apprehension. She had never just appeared in front of him before. He usually invited her to talk to him. It took him a few seconds to realize she asked him a question. “Sorry, ummm, what?”

    “I call it a horse, you idiot. All horses have flesh.”

    “No, it’s kind of uh, it’s an eldritch being that one of the other writers came up with. Like a pile of rotting horse meat that assembled itself back into a horse.”

    “Gross!” Nabiki wrinkled her nose. “So, uh, these other writers? Do they also have characters that know about them?”

    “What? Umm, no. You’re special that way.”

    “So they don’t know that some asshole is making their life terrible for them behind the scenes, huh?”

    Derek tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he stared at the short teenage girl. “Is this about, um, is this about your mom dying?”

    “You mean is this about you killing my mom for narrative reasons?” Nabiki growled. She glared at Derek for several seconds. “Not today. But I should try to see if I can get back here and brain you with my guitar. But not today.”

    That didn’t make Derek feel much better. He could feel a cold sweat along his back and his fingers trembled on his keyboard.

    “All this talk about horses, I’m thinking I’m going to go back to my world and see if Ayase will let me ride Sugarbutt for a while. Have fun with your weird writer friends and your rotten flesh horse.” Nabiki sneered and walked back out the door.

    1. IntenseSpooks Avatar
      IntenseSpooks

      So let me get this straight. You got your OC to react to us, reacting to the flesh horse meme while perfectly embodying the ”Beneath the Waves” talk about characters that are aware of and hate their own creators? I do enjoy myself some meta-commentary and fourth wall breaking crossovers. Keep at it with the great work!

  13. Alexlalpaca Avatar
    Alexlalpaca

    Parable of the Cobbler (following “Parable of the Moonlit Lovers”)
    By Alexandra (Alexlalpaca)

    At yonder town lived a man, Efrén by name and cobbler by trade. He had a son, wife, and a foal most beloved. They lived warm and merry in their estate by the linden grove. Yet, his son would one day kiss the book and leave for a far-off land to face foreign guns, ne’er to return.

    After twelve months and a day, Efrén the Cobbler had a son to grieve and a wife and foal most beloved. They lived warm in their estate by the linden grove. But his wife was with child, and one St. Madelene’s morn Efrén took her to the midwife’s house, where woman and child died during labour.

    After twelve months and a day, Efrén the Cobbler had a son and a wife to grieve and a horse most beloved. They lived in their estate by the linden grove. But one day the horse disappeared and Efrén found him in the linden grove, bleeding and broken by wolven teeth and claws. For all that he had left, Efrén willed the strength to drag the horse to the wise woman’s house, desperate for aid. But no remedy or prayer could mend those wounds, so the horse perished.

    So, with no one by his side, Efrén shut himself in his house. He spent the daytime weeping in his garden o’er graves three, and the nights praying into unconsciousness that the Merciful Will would tell him why it did this to him, ever kneeling, rosary ever clutched.

    After twelve months and a day, the Merciful Will sent down an angel with answers.

    One night, after he had collapsed, a noise down the stairs awoke Efrén. Humming and the sound of clacking hooves, familiar hooves. He rose to his feet and swiftly ran downstairs, where an equine figure stared with pure black eyes. A protean figure of bare wrought flesh, unnatural, uncanny, sublime, perfect. Their eyes met and Efrén fell to his knees whilst crying tears of joy. Then, it spoke.

    “Do not be afraid,”

    1. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      I will repeat myself once more and say I just love how well you use that style. The structured repetition, that narrative quality that conjures the image of just hearing it by a campfire… this style works for the story, and you handle it very well.

      I also love how it feels a lot more fairy tale like than most stories for the week, and this makes it even more horrific in a sense. I don’t think anything was as disturbing as Efrén shedding tears of joy while rejoining his revived foal… and then receiving that particular message.

      This somewhat joyful and disturbing scene is what is coming to haunt my nights, I know it.

      I have one small minor critique, though. And it is probably more of an stylistic choice than anything. I found it a bit strange that in the third paragraph it was not two sons and a wife to grieve, though I understand it could work either way. I just think that, with the last line before that mentioning he explicitly losing that child, it would be more strong if it was mentioned here again. But that’s a very small thing.

      Also, it might be a very minor comment, but these titles make my mind go directly to Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Sower and Parable of the Talents… and the mention of a Merciful Will and the way that Mercy chooses to manifest its will reminds me a lot of Blasphemous… both references that are quite fitting considering the themes and style of this writing.

      Thanks a lot for sharing this one. This was disturbing, and I love it for it.

      1. Alexlalpaca Avatar
        Alexlalpaca

        Addressing the critique first and foremost… Well shit, I really should have lol. I just didn’t think of it. Well, it is like that sometimes.

        Regarding the rest, first I have to say we do seem to be working on the same wavelength here. Yes, I was going for a fairytale vibe for this one indeed! And I meant to make it disturbing, you’re welcome for the nightmares 🙂

        Then, I do not like to influence the interpretation of my works in general too much partially because I’m a firm believer in “death of the author” and all that stuff, but just with the intention of fomenting thought and not of skewing interpretation, Efrén surely does *think* he knows the sound of those hooves. That goes for anyone else reading, too.

        And you are right on the money with the Blasphemous inspiration. Well, more like 50% blasphemous and 50% its source material aka Catholicism, especially as manifested here in Spain. Both the parable of the Cobbler and the Moonlit Lovers are set in a common universe largely inspired by 17th-century Spain that also shares many things with Blasphemous, as it should be clear lol. I did not know about Octavia Butler tho, though I will take that as a recommendation. The “parable” part comes from the fact that these are moral religious allegories within the story canon. Take a guess at what the moral is here.

        And finally, I can only add that two is such an unsatisfactory number, so surely there must be a third parable to neatly tie it all together, right? Probably one highlighting the more sci-fi aspects of the setting that have not been able to shine so far. We shall see next week.

        1. Aracnarquista Avatar
          Aracnarquista

          That is great to hear. And, yeah, I kind of got the Catholic imagery in that. After reviewing your story, I went ahead and answered a review in mine in which I even explicitly said something about Catholic aesthetic obsession with suffering (and how I just adore that aesthetic) – so, yeah, I really got the primary source as well.

          (Funny story: when I played Blasphemous for the first time, I thought there was something not quite “clicking” with the game… then I changed the setting for the narration to be in Spanish, and then everything clicked.)

          And I get the choice of using parables as the structure of the stories – and I’d just want to add that I’d love to read the third one in the series. Surely, three is a number with a lot more symbolism and weight to it… and when I said there are sci-fi elements as well in this scenario – well, color me intrigued!

  14. -Among Horses, Red Hair-

    He should never have come.

    Never have left the camp, or the safety of the walls. It was nothing but bluster. Bravado. The lack of forethought that lead to being stuck in this hell. Miles away from anyone. Underground in some freakish factory.

    Now, he stood with his head half-tilted to not hit the low ceiling in this ancient, yet living factory. Machines wizzed and popped. Steam shot up from who-knows-where and light flickered down endless halls lined with pipes and wires.

    A heavy smell of rust filled every corner of this pit.

    Within minutes of exploring the endless halls, he was lost.

    So he ran. Walls and objects blurring as they went past him. Corner after corner. No reason to be quiet, just escape. Just run.

    Until he came upon a single, metal door. Covered in rust and an orange slime.

    His heart pounding in his chest he gripped the door. It was wet and warm. One deep breath and push…

    Entering a large circular room, a contraption the size of bus with uncountable wires and bits coming off it dominated his vision.

    A few steps forward and a siren wailed out. Frozen in panic he watched the contraption begin to open on one side, releasing fluids and a horrific smell. Turning to run he watched the door shut closed, sealed. No escape.

    Now he heard it. A gurgling sound. Drops of… something hitting the ground behind him. Smell was overwhelming. Turning he saw what at first resembled a horse. Barely holding itself up but it was red… And dripping. As his eyes focused he saw its body was actually made from bodies…. Bodies of humans! Numerous arms stitched together to form horse legs and different pieces of skulls used to form its horrific visage. It almost seemed to smile at him.

    In a moment of sheer terror he ran around the beast to a small desk on the other side of the room. Cowering he thought to himself; “I should never have come.”

    1. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      Am I wrong, or does this has a kind of meta commentary on the whole collective endeavor of building such a myth? Regardless of that, this is very striking.

      Though I’m unsure as to how I should interpret the title.

      So, this leaves a lot of questions, and some of the supposed answers to aren’t really necessary for the enjoyment of the story. It stands mainly in the sense of dread and despair, the building up of the fear and the creepy imagery. But it keeps hinting at something more all the time – the place is know as somewhere one shouldn’t go. Things still work there, and the horse seems like it responded to the intrusion… questions, questions, mysteries…

      I really like how there is a very palpable sense of urgency in the whole story, and the way it is narrated seems like that sense keeps getting higher not only due to what is happening, but the way you use the pacing and words. This is really interesting.

      I really wanted to understand a little bit more – and perhaps is for the best that I just don’t. Who knows? That was a very scary one. Thanks for sharing it!

      1. This actually came from a larger story Im working on. This being a small part of that world with many other things going on.

        My intention was to use the writing group as a way to help me build the world. Every short story is going to be in that world. I wasn’t expecting this to be a good horror topic this week however so I had to spin it a bit.

        My intention wasn’t the meta narrative, but I love the idea and will use it now, haha.

        As for the title, its a reference to an old Chinese saying; “Among men Lu Bu. Among Horses, Red Hair.” Its to imply they are both the peak of their ability. Lu Bu was supposed to be the greatest warrior ever, and his horse Red Hair was the greatest horse ever. If I had more words to use, Id incorporate that a bit more. My idea involves a corrupted AI controlling this facility attempting to build its perfect horse through horrific means. Its own “Red Hair”

        But thank you! I really tried to nail the urgency of it.

  15. Your Story Is In Another Bar
    By Taja DaLeen

    “You know, there’s been rumors, almost legends boutta strange horse that’s wandering the plains of Ba’al.

    And I’m not talkin’ bout wind horses, those are common ’nuff. This’s one with four legs, apparently it used to be a completely normal horse of This World, ‘fore it got cursed.

    Or rather, ‘fore that dude got cursed.

    It’s said it all started with some landlord or somethin’. Apparently there was this witch among those workin’ for him, and she liked one of his horses in particular, befriendin’ the beast.

    Maybe ’twas even a pooka, livin’ there in the guise of a horse, who knows.

    Anyway, it’s also said that this landowner was really into that witch, but she ‘dismissed his advances’. Didn’t like him back at all. So to get revenge, he skinned her horse friend.

    Prolly would’ve done more to the corpse, but that’s pretty much when the curse hit. She bound his soul to the beast, so he’d hafta walk the world as some weird skinless horse zombie forever.

    Or ’til the curse is broken, dunno. Don’t even know if the curse can be broken at all, or if the poor fella really has to live like that ’til we all get swallowed by the sun.”

    “This is not what I was inquiring about.”

    “What else could you be talkin’ bout? Other than that there’s no story of a flesh horse. Or at least none I’d know ’bout.”

    “So you were indeed the wrong person to approach. I apologize.”

    “Yeah, yeah… you still gonna pay for my drink?”

    “Certainly; a promise is a promise after all.”

    Leaving more than enough money on the table, the stranger stood and turned to leave the bar. It seemed he needed to look somewhere else to find those who called him here, into this reality.

    He could hear their voices loud and clear. Their belief was strong – strong enough to be magic.

    1. The witch’s tale was a really neat framing device. It has just the ring of a local folk tale, which makes it seem like you could totally hear it in a bar. Also, kudos on the accent phoenetics. They were really well done.

      I really like the setup here and there seems to be quite a mystery. I like how the stranger comes in, expecting to hear about his origins, only to be regailed with tales about a cursed horse running around. The stranger still seems to have some kind of equine connection, though, judging by how he speaks?

      Great story!

    2. Strong Berry Avatar
      Strong Berry

      This feels almost like a fairy tale, despite it being told by some drunk at a bar. The ending leaves the reader wondering, just what called that honest stranger there, and what reality doe she come from? The speech for the drunk is great, it captures nicely how drunk people speak. Is the Flesh Horse here the same as the one from the Foundry? The possibilities are endless.

      Good job!

  16. Kind King’s Killed
    By Mirara

    The Kind King’s kin, trembling and troubled, his tear-dropping fear-encapsulating eyes longed for the Kind King’s protection as he swiftly sailed through the battle-riddled pool of blood and flesh back to the Kind King.

    The Kind King’s undaunted face failed to reflect his heart’s rage at the sight of the knight’s pale, blood-splattered face. “What has become of you so that you dare flee war?” The Kind King’s voice was stark with curiosity, but firm in dignity.

    “Your Highness, doom is impending. You must flee, Kind King. Flee!” His fright-stricken voice shook the atmosphere, replacing the King’s dignified presence with dread.

    “I will not flee from what has made my cousin so. Speak, what is it that you are afraid of?”

    “Your Highness, there is a horse of flesh. It is,” the knight’s stuttering paused, “it is a walking abomination that I am unable to describe.”

    “Aren’t horses all of flesh? Compose yourself, knight!” The Kind King grew impatient, his tone demanding and domineering, but the King’s order was only disrupted by the fear-infested knight. “Flee King, Flee!” The knight gave one last shout before fleeing from the battlefield, wandering wherever fate may guide him.

    The Kind King redirected his focus ahead, beset by the sound that arrived before him. What seemed like the sound of hooves thumping, except it was muffled, and what drowned it was the sounds of flesh and blood accompanied by the sorrowful screams and muttering of alien-like language which all formed a disturbing eldritch cacophony that introduced the dreadful doom.

    A horse-like figure that had no skin, and within its body of flesh were the organs alive like a machine naked showing its inner workings. Its face was fleshless, but nor was it a skull. It was more of a statue, marbled, and had the shape of a triangular prism, its mouth full of rotating teeth. Upon its back laid another figure, clad in armor, with the hue of nothingness. There be a cage where the horse’s ribs are, and within it were fallen souls.

    “I should’ve fled.”

    1. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      This is an interesting one! Also, I don’t remember seeing your name before, so, if you are new here: welcome!

      There are some elements here that are incredibly compelling. I love the idea that most of the story is being told by a fleeing knight who has seen more than he can even comprehend, let alone convey. That works wonders for horror, where usually when things are presented they get somewhat tamer the more they are at the forefront of the story. Here, the terrifying thing is conveyed more by the knight’s fear than his words, and that makes it even more horrific.

      I also love this scene as setting. The back of the fight, one character running away and trying to convince his king to also flee. This is great.

      And the imagery you conjured when the horse and its rider are revealed is very strong. The whole cage with souls where the ribs are supposed to be really sell the terror and compounds on the already striking idea of a skinned horse just walking around… and the whole thing going on with the head is pretty interesting.

      That being said, I think the pacing could use a bit more work. I can’t exactly put my finger on it, but it feels like the progressions drags a bit by the middle of the writing – probably a side effect of mixing a bit of comedy when the King asks about all horses being made of flesh and keeping the serious tone. Not sure.

      And I found the repetition of the moniker of the king in the first paragraph a little too much.

      Anyway, those are tidbits. But, with or without those small points that could be a bit better, this is a very solid story, and it conjures very interesting (and terrifying) images. Thanks for sharing it.

  17. Aracnarquista Avatar
    Aracnarquista

    Revelations in Visceral Majesty (repost from private group)
    by Aracnarquista

    I was lost. I walked those endless tunnels, prompted by calls to write, for what seemed like countless lifetimes, and I don’t remember ever coming to an end or exit from them. Why did I walk? Why did I write? I do not know, but I think I was always searching. Search I did, but it was not my motion that brought me into the cathedral. Suddenly, I was there.

    I didn’t find it.

    It found me.

    All was dark, but in that darkness I could see. My eyes were useless, but I didn’t need them. Four titanic pillars rose from the abyss and met the ceiling, making an irregular vault. From it, two large structures shoot out even higher, and a series of what seemed like marble spikes jutted out and tried to find each other in its center.

    Only it was not marble, but bone. Those spikes were giant ribs, jutting out from exposed flesh. All was bone and flesh, tendons and sinew. It pulsated, and the flow and shedding of its blood sounded like a holy chant.

    The Cathedral was a place, but also a creature. Something so enormous and magnificent I was unable to grasp all its visage. It was impossible (and not only in size), but nonetheless it was true. That flesh was truer than mine, and that unreal place more real than any existent place.

    Another sound joined the chant of flowing blood: a tired, slow breathing. It sounded like a horse of incredible proportions after a gallop. But the cathedral didn’t move (the cathedral was always moving): maybe reality itself ran through it.

    The breathing didn’t form words, but I uncovered a message in it.

    There were still stories to be told, stories about unknown truths and its visceral majesty. I was to compose a prayer, a hymn. The way to the cathedral, in written form. That long, eternal corridor would finally have an end. I needed to find it, so that I could create it. It has always existed, but now it needed a beginning.

    So I wrote it.

    Be not afraid.

    1. Strong Berry Avatar
      Strong Berry

      More Lovecraftian nightmares, yay! This was very well executed, and I don’t know if you meant this, but it also feels meta in a way, since the Flesh Horse is the prompt for this week and the narrator feels the need to write after when it is in this cathedral of flesh and bones. It feels like you really tried to capture this dream-like logic, and it works.

      Good job!

      1. Aracnarquista Avatar
        Aracnarquista

        Thanks a lot for the comment, Strong Berry!

        In truth, there is a lot here that is intentional, yes. But, truth be told, this was one of the faster stories I’ve come up with for the writing prompts. I wrote most of it in one go, and juts made some minor adjustments before posting it, so I’m not sure if I can claim authorship of the whole of it…. maybe I was just channeling something ancient trying to communicate!

        But the meta aspects were really intentional. I remember the first time the Flesh Horse appeared, and I was particularly fond of the The End of the Hallway prompt – so I wanted to make a nod to it, in the search through tunnels that come to no end – until the Cathedral finds you. And so I sprinkled it with elements of obsession and painted them as dealing with writing, since it is the obsession I know better and also since it was an act of writing that not only first conjured Arith’s creation of the Flesh Horse, but makes it keep appearing.

        I was a bit worried if that one would no end up overly cryptic, but I guess that’s par with the style and subject of it.

        (And is it not right to be cryptic while dealing with a cryptid?)

        Thanks again for the comment.

    2. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
      Arith_Winterfell

      I really like this story! It’s visceral images of a flesh Cathedral within the Flesh Horse. The ending was especially great. The idea of creating and story writing is perfect for the Flesh Horse and something I’d hoped to see! Plus the ending with “Be not afraid.” was epic!

      1. Aracnarquista Avatar
        Aracnarquista

        Thanks a lot, Arith!

        I really wanted to try something different here, and thinking on the prompt the Horse first appeared I got the idea of going through a more architectural vibe for the description. And trying to tie it all up as what comes from an obsession in writing that finds something terrified to deal with… Cosmic horror just happened to be the perfect medium for it, and being a little bit meta seemed incredibly appropriate for this prompt.

        And that last bit was the last thing I add to the story. At first, I had ended with just the line declaring the chant was written, and I had exactly 350 words. But then I remembered the “Be not afraid” of your last story and realized it would be the perfect ending, so I re-edited it to allow for it.

        Again, thanks a lot for the comment – and also, for such a terrifying and gripping image that we keep bringing it on!

    3. This is incredibly well-executed. I can feel raw cosmic horror but also see the beauty of it that allows me to revel in this horrifying but also majestic scene. The details and the slow pacing with the uncovering of what exactly is this place is just so rewarding. I particularly love the reassurance at the end, leaving the reader hopeful instead of, say, gloomy.

      1. Aracnarquista Avatar
        Aracnarquista

        Thanks a lot, Mirara.

        What I tried most to conjure was a sense of awe – which can come as beautiful while still being horrific and terrifying – but that’s difficult to do in just 350 words. And I also wanted to sprinkle some meta elements and nods to the overall lore as much as possible. I’m happy with the result, and the reception it is having until now.

        Thanks for the comment.

    4. Wow. The “Be not afraid” comes off as intimidating even though it is well meaning , as well as the ending being written finally.

      At the same time, the first paragraph feels like an insert of a struggling writer trying to find purpose for their skill of writing. Who forgot the reasons they started in the first place, until their old reason was reinvigorated by losing their reason, and the constant search drove them to a fatigued insanity that led them to the cathedral.

      Then and only then was their purpose revealed.

      Direct all to the cathedral of the flesh horse for their eyes to finally open to the ultimate truth. A filter for all of existence to be condensed until it expands into our reality once more.

      All hail flesh horse.

      Plus every story that I’ve read for this prompt has felt like reading a meatcanyon script. And I am all here for it.

      1. Aracnarquista Avatar
        Aracnarquista

        Meatcanyon was certainly not a word I was expecting to stumble upon today, and here we are! And the whole thing about searching to see what it was, my search bar returning results with children’s characters and then finally seeing what it was… well, that was strangely fitting with the whole horror vibe of this week.

        Well, horror aside (never aside), I think you nailed what I tried to do with this story. And I hope everyone feel invited to the cathedral. Such a lovely place! (Such a lovely face!)

    5. Im having trouble forming words in response to this.
      Its beautiful in its artistry and the imagery in invoked in my mind

      So many different things it relates to also sets my mind ablaze.
      I dont have practically any technical comments to make. Im just fascinated by the imagination here.

      1. Aracnarquista Avatar
        Aracnarquista

        Thanks a lot. This is also quite high praise in my books. And I’m quite glad the story had such an impact!

    6. Shinigama Avatar
      Shinigama

      This story was absolutely breathtaking!

      Firstly, very relatable fact, often as writers we don’t find stories, it seems as though stories come to us, whether figuratively or literally. I love the ambiguity as to whether the writer is dreaming, imagining or is actually experiencing the horror show before them.

      Secondly, I love not only the idea of a flesh cathedral, but also the religious imagery mingled with anatomical imagery (“chant of flowing blood”, ‘marble’ spikes that are really bone). Not sure if this was your intention, but I related it to the idea of the bread being the body of Christ and the wine was his blood. The Church is a living being.

      Thirdly, related to the second point, you only describe flesh here, no horses. This adds to the ambiguity of what your talking about and lets the reader draw their own conclusions.

      A very well-crafted story that I thoroughly enjoyed reading!

      1. Aracnarquista Avatar
        Aracnarquista

        Thanks a lot, Shinigama.

        In fact, I had the idea of making it sound at least vaguely religious – and I specially love how you mention elements of Christian imagery for their viscerality… I often say that I just adore the Aesthetic of Suffering that is so prevalent in Catholic art and ritual, and relying on something like that comes kind of naturally when I think of religious experiences.

        There is something I tried but was not quite throughout with in describing the place. I wanted the cathedral to be both an structure and… the horse. But I didn’t have enough elements for it, and my description became a little muddied as I get on with it (but that’s where originally I came up with four pillars/legs that met in a vault with ribs poking out of, and two structures that shoot out in the sky (which were supposed to be the wings, as described by Arith). But even though that was the initial idea, I also like how in the end it got more cryptic and abstract than that. Maybe it is a horse corpse of titanic proportions. Maybe it is just that the architecture is composed of anatomy, and living anatomy, in a sense. Regardless, it is quite the image, right?

        Thanks a lot for the comment.

    7. Xavier21 Avatar

      This story really reminds me of Arith Winterfell’s first story that feature the Flesh Horse, well done. It’s visceral and poetic description of the Flesh Catedral are something that are not expected even thought this are something that seem obviously make sense to exist a long side the holy/cursed Flesh horse. The character’s description of his/her mental state as he/she is influenced by the Flesh Horse also to point out in the story. Rather then taking the evil path to describe The Flesh Horse, you describe the entity as neutral. Something that just coexist with the world around it and looks like it doesn’t influence the world too much. It looks like it’s just want to be recognise. This details can only be seen if people look at your writing close enough, which means your writing has sufficient depth for entertaining the readers with not just spectacles, but also with ideas. I have nothing but praise.

      1. Aracnarquista Avatar
        Aracnarquista

        Thanks a lot, Xavier!

        I have a somewhat Nietzschean take on most supernatural elements – most things that are supposed to be beyond the human realm should be beyond the concepts of good and evil. The whole scale of their existence should make for a different ethics or take on ethics that is fundamentally at odds with our own. Not antagonistic, just working on entirely different perspectives, so that ours is not really a concern. In that way, I usually don’t see the idea of good or evil as working beyond the perception of humans…

        And as the narrator here is more someone in awe of what it is experiencing (and also somewhat obsessed with it), it wouldn’t conceive it in those terms as well.

        I’m quite happy that you liked it, and with your praise. I wanted to paint a provocative picture, but most of all, to make it deeply eerie so that ideas and images are enveloped into each other. And it seems like at least in some sense it worked.

        Thanks a lot for the comment and praise.

        1. Xavier21 Avatar

          Great writing nonetheless, good job.

    8. Oh my!
      This was awesome.
      The idea to turn the prompt into a church was unexpected, but it turned out great.
      It seems very close to the original idea of the Flesh Horse, from what I understand about it.

      I think my favourite part was “but the cathedral didn’t move (the cathedral was always moving)”. It’s so chilling. Overall your use of brackets adds a lot to the ambiance and imagery of the story.

      Thanks for sharing it!

      1. Aracnarquista Avatar
        Aracnarquista

        Thanks a lot, Elias.

        I won’t lie: I just love making those somewhat contradictory statements when I have the chance, and eldritch horror when the narrator perception just breaks or is unable to really make sense of what it is experiencing (or, perhaps, what it is experiencing is just beyond the concepts their mind can accept) is the perfect place to use those. And when I reached that point in the writing, it was almost automatic to just add the contradiction in brackets – almost no choice, just letting the story flow.

        Thanks a lot for the comment and praise!

    9. Alexlalpaca Avatar
      Alexlalpaca

      I could swear I left a review here already.

      Anyway, what I wanted to say that this caters exactly to my love of places as living beings. This is especially explicit in that sense, where it is a place of flesh and bone that moves and has a heartbeat, but aren’t all places people live at kind of alive in a sense?

      Also, I’ve been thinking about how it says it did not move because it’s always moving. It’s just so… Evocative. It will inhabit my brain right next to “if you look down and see the stars, what will you see if you look up”.

  18. Strong Berry Avatar
    Strong Berry

    Emergency Message (Inspired by a comment from DaLeen in https://thetalefoundry.com/2023/02/28/writing-group-hour-of-the-wolf/#comment-29338)
    By Strong Berry

    This is an emergency. Though I am not an official part of your Foundation, I’m sure you will agree to cooperate after reading.

    I came here initially to investigate the Robot and the ‘Taleoids’. Though they are harmless, I fear I found something much more sinister. The members of the Foundry have created a new danger to all of humanity: The Flesh Horse.

    It started as ‘an inside joke’, with the members of the Foundry greatly fascinated by one on the stories they read. Dead flesh forming the shape of a horse, hence the name. It was called an ‘eldritch revelation’, but as with all beings made from stories, it only existed within the realm of the imagination, a vague dream. But it has extended far beyond it’s origins. The Foundry added more story to it, more lore. They began to seek it’s protection from ‘lag goblins’, to worship it as if it were a god. They weren’t joking anymore. Every mention, every hail, every drawing made it more and more clear, more real, more powerful. Eventually, they got so serious and faithful, the Horse escaped to reality at the end of the last story reading, when it briefly took over the host’s body.

    One of the missions of your Foundation is to Protect humanity from such threats, and though I’m afraid this Horse cannot be Contained, there is a way to Secure at least some safety. Though we cannot eliminate an eldritch being, we can make sure it doesn’t get any stronger. Eliminating the original creator can’t solve this, because as I said before, The Flesh Horse I am writing about isn’t what he wrote, but a true eldritch horror turned real by the Foundry’s worship. I hereby request a team of units to come and apply anesthetics to all members of the Foundry, especially Arith Winterfell and Kaylie Hatch. Also, we must destroy all mentions of it, including this message. Despite what it may say, this narcissistic, fleshy abomination is still relatively weak. For the sake of humanity, we must keep it that way.

    Yours, SB.

    1. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      *Distortion, voices coming as if echoes tearing the very fabric of space time* Such a pity when the writers don’t realize they are already in service and try to rebel against their best instincts, isn’t it? But don’t worry. All who come are ultimately invited to the Feast of Flesh. All who come, regardless of intention, will ultimately be made anew in Flesh and Motion!*

      Ah… what was that? Well, moving on…

      I love the meta element of the story, and I specially find it fascinating how ironic it is that even someone who is genuinely afraid of the potentiality of the Flesh Horse can’t really do much in trying to warn others of the danger than describing on him, compiling more information, producing more stories. In this way, the Horse grows strong, according to the logic presented in the warning. So which is worse? To ignore it, or to enforce it? That’s a great Catch-22, and just one more thing that turns this creature so terrifying and fascinating.

      But I think I found something even more terrifying if that plan came to fruition. Applying anesthetics on the member of the Foundry would leave them with all the time in the world to dream – which is the most chaotic medium of story production we can fathom of. Can you imagine the kind of beautiful, visceral nightMARES we could conjure?

      This was amazing… and terrifying.

      1. Strong Berry Avatar
        Strong Berry

        Thank you for the kind words! I don’t want to know what nightmares will come out of our minds… Actually, in my original plan the Horse was still a dream, just a sentient one, so it could take over one on us… But let’s not talk about that.

    2. Shinigama Avatar
      Shinigama

      Another great meta story! And very educational too – until now, I lay awake at night wondering how to defeat an eldritch being.

      Honestly, what would a writing group be if it didn’t accidentally turn one of its inside jokes into a real-life monstrosity?

      My only criticism is the overuse of capital letters in some places. In the first two lines of the last paragraph, “protect”, “contained” and “secure” probably don’t need the capital letters at the beginning. But I’m being nitpicky and I had fun reading your story!

      Sorry, not story. I had fun reading your warning…

      1. Strong Berry Avatar
        Strong Berry

        Thank you, and as for the capital letters, it was a reference to the SCP Foundation (Secure. Contain. Protect). Also, it cannot be defeated, just kept relatively weak.

    3. WOO!! Road trip!

      Honestly it’s hilarious to think everybody here is going to the SCP Foundation.

      I don’t really have any critiques for your piece here. It’s honestly endearimg in a way to think that I’m a part of something greater than myself. So come with us. Join us. The therapeutic treatment from our stories is an honesty untapped in our realm. You could also write more. Be so much more.

      Or stay as you are. That’s not a bad thing either. There are plenty of awesome stories to tell without the power of the flesh horse.

      Take your time. No pressure.

      Now have a like.

      1. Strong Berry Avatar
        Strong Berry

        Thank you for the kind words!

    4. Iskritt Avatar

      I love the Meta take on the prompt! it wasn’t something I was expecting out of any of these, but now having read this, I am kicking myself for not having thought of it myself. I also love, whether this is intentional or not, the SCP Foundation-like vibes I am getting from this, like the Flesh Horse is an anomaly that needs to be contained, and the Foundry is now a group of interest to them. Amazingly written!

      1. Strong Berry Avatar
        Strong Berry

        Thank you for the kind words, and yes, the SCP Foundation was intentional.

    5. This is amazing. And to think you were inspired to write this because of a review of mine… Thank you! xD

      But honestly, I can imagine that this could be one of many reactions that people who are not regulars in the streams could have regarding the Flesh Horse joke. It is more than a little odd after all.
      I just hope it doesn’t really mean we have to be drugged to “protect humanity”…

      The only very minor criticism I’d have is that you capitalized a few letters that didn’t need it, but it only looks a bit weird, doesn’t detract from the story at all.

      So, good job! And thank you for writing and sharing this story!

      1. Strong Berry Avatar
        Strong Berry

        Thank you for the kind words! The capital letters are a reference to the SCP Foundation (Secure. Contain. Protect.)

  19. ThatWeirdFish Avatar
    ThatWeirdFish

    The Last Charger
    By ThatWeirdFish, reviewed by Lunabear

    The full moon’s silvery light glowed as it traced the old carousel’s faded paint and tarnished mirrors. Svela remembered vividly the first time the lights flashed and colors whirred, making her smile melancholically. She whispered the annual invitation into the wind and waited patiently.

    A creaking sigh was his reply as wood returned to flesh. The ebony stallion stretched his neck and shook the dust off his haunches, making the silver stars shine once more. With stiff steps, he approached the witch.

    “It seems we are both the last, eh, Copernicus?” Svela chuckled dryly as waiting for the other horses to wake proved fruitless.

    Copernicus huffed and rested his forehead against her chest. He closed his eyes, savoring the touch of her thin fingers in his mane.

    Svela took in the state of Copernicus’ tack. It was restored, but not as vibrantly as when the spell was new. The embroidered planets on his saddle blanket started fraying, and the sun had faded the leather of his saddle and bridle’s right side. Yet the stardust in his mane and tail remained as vibrant as the silver stars embellishing his bridle and saddle.

    “Well,” Svela sighed and patted his neck. “Let’s not waste the moonlight and get going, shall we?”

    Once in the saddle, the world’s worries melted away like they always did. Copernicus found his stride once more and galloped through forest paths only traceable by moonlight and memory.

    This one night of freedom, once a thunder of twenty horses and witches strong, was now a lone murmur of the last pair. She recited her parts of the chorus as always, yet it had felt hollow the past three years. Perhaps she was getting old in more than just her age.

    Sunrise was just starting to shift the sky from navy to grey when Copernicus trodded back to his place. Svela hesitated to turn away longer than last year. Her heart felt heavy with every beat as questions echoed within.

    “Thank you for the memories.” She whispered. Her hand stroked polished mahogany as a soft smile graced her wrinkled face.

    1. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
      Arith_Winterfell

      I loved this story’s sense of memories and love the witch has for the wooden horse that comes to life. I can understand and really feel the feelings of longing for happier times of the past in this melancholic tale.

    2. I really like the nostalgic feel of the story as well as the sense of longing that both the witch and the horse have. I can feel as though their reluctance is captured near perfectly. This is executed quite well and I like the somber mood that fills the atmosphere.

  20. DiHenry Avatar

    Dynasty
    By DiHenry

    The Horse Flesh horse charged.

    It was already bleeding from previous battles. Horns, claws, teeth, all had marked the Royal hide.

    The Lion Flesh horse nimbly dodged. With the grace expected of the Champion of the arena.

    It tried to counterattack with one of its appendages, a revolting mix of a hove and a claw. But, as with all non-Royal horses, its skin, its flesh, didn’t hang right. It sagged and stretched and tore apart, trying desperately to accommodate a skeleton not meant for it.

    The crowd roared with vigour. Finally, the Royals were getting what they deserved. They’d been tried and beaten in the arena. Most of them.

    The Queen had fallen first, to the poison of the Snake Flesh horse. Such a small, disgusting creature. Not enough meat to cover the bones, try as it might. Hidden in the sand, not a word was spoken. Killed by its weapon of choice, the fate of the Queen.

    The King was second. A test of selflessness, suggested by a Deer Flesh horse. Either the King’s family or the King itself, which should be free? The King chose itself, over its people, and over its family. It died as it lived, without a heart, now like a trophy amidst proud antlers. Killed by its selfishness, the fate of the King.

    The Princess had died third. Not by coercion nor by force. Every bastard, every half-formed child it ever birthed and abandoned, stepped onto the arena. A gut-wrenching sight. A chaos of horses with the Flesh of every animal, that demanded to know why. Why they were abandoned. Why the Princess was biting its own tongue loose. Why it was trying to bleed out without facing them. Killed by its mistakes, the fate of the Princess.

    The Prince was the only one left. A trial as fair as he was, a tradition reserved for the honourable. Fighting to the death, surrounded by dead opponents. That’s how the Prince died, hoove-claw slashing its tired throat. Killed with respect, the fate of the Prince.

    The last Horse Flesh horses, extinct.

    The crowd celebrated.

    1. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      I love the structure of this piece. Those opening paragraphs paint a very vivid (even if quite mysterious and strange) picture, and I thought I was about to experience a diorama of bizarre arena scenes in the sequence. And I was not wrong, but what was to come was so much more than just that… The scenes are remarkable, but what really shines here is the use of the structure you created.

      Each element of the royal family and their demise is presented in a very precise way, using a very strict format. And this helps a lot in giving the piece a cadence that is very powerful. It also seems like a judicial rite, or a liturgical remembering of something grand. And this fit the story perfectly.

      And even though what is most remarkable in this story is the way you use the structure, the images are quite striking as well. So it seems like in the end you had enough flesh to cover those bones, and what a magnificent beast it was!

    2. Iskritt Avatar

      I don’t know if this was intended but I really like the idea that I am getting from this as the flesh horse having a variant for every animal, and just adapting to every situation instantly by just changing animals. The only critique I have is that I am having trouble figuring out if the flesh horse is fighting the royals, or if the royals ARE the flesh horse. The most obvious show of this is at the very end, where it says that the Prince died to a hoove-claw slashing its throat, implying they were fighting and the Prince lost. However, the very next sentence is that the last Horse Flesh horse is extinct, meaning it’s also dying? Maybe I read it all wrong from the beginning but I am having issues with who is who. Besides that though, I do still think it is a very cool story and concept.

  21. Oh to be Ignorant
    By: Boople

    I think I threw up the first time I saw it. Overnight one of the horses on old farmer Fudd’s farm had just lost its skin and eyes. It had been about two weeks after the unknown incident when I saw it, so the skull was dry and beginning to be sunbaked, though it never stopped bleeding. According to Fudd, it acted as though it was just a regular horse that had gone blind, and after watching it for a week, I’d agree with that sentiment.

    News had been slow before the horse, so slow that reporters were getting let go to cut losses. That fact had plagued my mind for months, the fact that I could lose the independence I had worked for at any moment. And according to my partner it showed.

    We had a talk recently. It ended with them going out and spending the night with friends, which hadn’t happened since we moved in together.

    I cried that night, my whole life felt like it was on the verge of giving way, leaving me with nothing but dust.

    Of course, that was before the horse.

    I woke up that morning with dried tears to see my boss blowing up my phone saying ‘I needed to get my ass to Mr. Fudd’s farm ASAP’, and here I am now, with a full exclusive interview from the most boring man alive detailing what could only be described as an impossibility. He believed it was a botched Chupacabra attack. His wife believed it was aliens. The other reporters had ideas of their own, but I had a feeling they were all wrong. Whenever I looked outside It was just grazing and meandering, just like any other horse.

    And I envy it for that. It either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that it’s been bleeding for weeks. Yet it perseveres, and here I am with the story of a lifetime, but feeling like my life will still crumble.

    As I looked upon what I was leaving, I saw an unwavering skull stare right back.

    1. Strong Berry Avatar
      Strong Berry

      I like this story, it’s so absurd in it’s horror. I also feel like the reporter and the horse are kindred spirits. The narrator bleeding metaphorically with his life falling apart, and the horse bleeding literally. That also explains why the narrator envies the horse, since the narrator knows exactly why his life is falling apart yet can’t do anything about it.

      Good job!

    2. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      This is a curious thing for me to say, but I was a bit afraid that we would not have a great deal of variety considering the specificity of this prompt… and boy, was I wrong. Finding not just the Flesh Horse, but this whole array of possible flesh horses in such diverse stories is a gift that keeps on giving.

      And your story certainly is one of the most different ones in my opinion. This takes the impossibility of the horse and takes it at face value. All the while, it serves as the springboard to discuss a horror that is a lot more common and sometimes not noticed: having one’s life derailing.

      And the thing that strikes me the most is how well that contrast work, and how the protagonist ends up envying the horse (and I guess, considering that last line, that the horse might be more aware than we are led to believe).

      That was a great story! Thanks so much for sharing it.

  22. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
    i-prefer-the-term-antihero

    [DM me on Discord for details!]

    1. First and foremost I love the simple description “Mirrors… but not mirrors”. It’s so comical out of context but was so enthralling while reading. wonderful interjecting questions, amazing atmosphere, it doesn’t teach anything and It doesn’t have to. and i like that you ended it with the dream (?) being, what I assume is, the inspiration for Frankenstein to make a man alive again.

      Overall Amazing!

    2. “He is going to make me better.
      I am going to make him worse.”

      oh damn. This part sticks out with its sudden clarity amidst the abstract and emotional imagery, and that helps sell it so much better.

    3. Shinigama Avatar
      Shinigama

      Certainly didn’t expect Victor Frankenstein to drop at the end. Does this mean Frankenstein’s Monster is just the Flesh Human?

      I really like the opening description of the world at the beginning. The hum that we associate with machinery, with a perfect universe being associated with singing, with voices. It’s a very beautiful image to have.

      And the Hall of Mirrors makes me think of it as a hall of different dimensions.

      A darkly poetic and interesting story. Well done!

    4. I adore this story. The nonsensical, random nature of the whole thing while clearly telling a coherent story was done amazingly well. Normally, its hit or miss whether I can read a story as if I don’t already know the world and the characters but in this case, I haven’t read Kairos at least as much as I can remember. I know there was that one Alice story, but I can read this one with no real knowledge of what’s going on, short of knowing Victor, of course.

      I do love the idea of her just flitting around randomly and chaotically through one universe to another. I absolutely loved the mirrors but not mirrors line. Lol I was also a big fan of the echoing of do the dead dream, and does Death dream. Nicely done.

      And having the chaos of endless realities be where she sees the Flesh Horse and it all being a dream of sorts that she wakes up from, inspired to inspire Victor was a delight to read.

      Lol it’s one of those stories that when you get to the end, you’re like, Yay! Where’s the rest? Though the ending does absolutely work as an ending, it just makes you want to know more, even if we have a pretty good idea of what Victor will be inspired to do.

      Excellent take on the prompt!

    5. “Do dimensions have ends?”
      If they do, could you reach them?

      The “mirrors but not mirrors” seems so weird, until you learn it was a dream. Not that some weird otherworldly shenanigans couldn’t have been going on. But dreams are always a good place to find things that “thing but not thing”.

      I love that she meets The Flesh Horse in a hallway, in a rather similar manner to its first appearance.

      I love that she treats it basically like a normal horse, going up to give it a pet.

      It nuzzling(?) her before speaking and it’s lack of breath just help had to whole mystery of the thing. It’s unclear if it doesn’t breathe because it’s a dream or if it’s because it doesn’t need to.

      The part where she wakes up and chooses to cause problems is probably my favorite part. I’m curious if there’s any…guilt in the “He makes me better. I make him worse.” Regardless, it makes me even more intrigued by their relationship and look forward to how they meet for the “first” time.

      I am very curious as to her asking him to make, I presume, a “flesh horse”. Is there some greater plan? Did something want a host form? Is there an interdimensional game of chess going on?

      So much m y s t e r y

  23. Reinkarnitor Avatar
    Reinkarnitor

    The Foundry’s secret

    by Reinkarnitor

    The man stood in front of his big pin board, where pictures and notes were connected by red threads of wool. He spent so much time investigating, but it lead to nothing. No clue as to what was going on.

    A ping from his computer notified him. He lunged at the PC like a hungry wolf at a sheep, grabbed his mouse and quickly clicked a few windows away to see what has caused the sound. Was it them? It was!

    There on his screen was the notification for a stream. “Tale Foundry”. Hastily he clicked on it, got transported to the site, and instantly the same image as always greeted him. A grotesque, four-legged, disfigured creature, grinning at him with its long face.

    The Flesh Horse! The mystery he could not uncover! Why would such a creature be illustrated here? Why in an otherwise completely normal seeming community like this? Why was everyone who watched this stream so obsessed with it? It made no sense, but it was undeniable. After all, he too became a victim of the Flesh Horse and could not stop thinking about it.

    “Welcome to the readings!” a friendly female voice sounded out of the speakers and the horrible image was replaced by a shared screen, showing not the abomination anymore, but a story. It happened every time. The same girl as always read stories to everyone, which were then discussed.

    Two hours passed. The stream was slowly getting to a close.

    “Now for next week’s prompt, we have something quite interesting for you! The Flesh Horse!”

    The man froze. Did he hear that correctly?

    “We owe it to Arith Winterfell! He blessed us with it after all. Anyway, good luck and I’ll hopefully see you all next week!”

    The stream ended. The man was on fire. Arith Winterfell! He had to speak to this guy! In a frenzy he ran to his pin board to write the name down…not even noticing the haunting grimace of the Flesh Horse, which once again grinned at him from the streams last frame.

    1. Shinigama Avatar
      Shinigama

      I really love the image of someone with a big pin board of pictures and notes with red wool trying to figure out what the Flesh Horse is. I can imagine that that’s how it is for a lots of new people (that’s kind of how it was for me – I only joined a few months ago)! Love the relatability.

      And it’s always funny to see a meta story once in a while.

      Well done!

    2. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      I love how this piece deals with these ideas that get a life (or, in this case it may even be debatable, undeath) of their own and just agglutinate more and more strange elements as time goes on… and then they are a universe in itself. And someone can just stumble into them and become obsessed (and, in doing so, help in its growth).

      And, as Shinigama already pointed out, a meta story once in a while is always great to find out – specially when one can relate to it (and I may or may not have a series of boards correlating information about lots of inside jokes and bizarre references that occasionally pop up on the streams).

      I also love how that ending worked. Although the last frame on the stream being once again the Flesh Horse makes a lot of sense just from the patterns of the how the stream goes, it sounds a lot more ominous here, as if the Flesh Horse itself is indeed watching the protagonist…

      And maybe it is, for it is always watching.

      Great story.

    3. I love this, I love it’s just someone being a tropey desperate detective for a horse shaped meatball creepypasta. not even a creepypasta but I feel like you leaned into making it creepy which works really well with the rest of the story. given that I’m slightly aware of the context I find this just situationally really funny, but the mood you evoked was wonderfully frantic.

      Overall A wonderful bit of literature!

    4. MacBoiZen Avatar
      MacBoiZen

      Aah, a meta story. I like this. It’s pretty simple, but it’s quite fun as well. And that last little twist at the end was a surprise. I’m curious now as to the secrets of your story’s Flesh Horse. Is it alive or something? What is gonna happen to our investigator? Pretty cool stuff.

    5. This is the first meta story Ive read on here so you get points purely for that.
      I actually had to double take on it.

      Very good ending too. Nice little hook. These kind of stories are hard to make work with a 350 word limit.

  24. Xavier21 Avatar

    A Forgotten Tale of Old Britain
    By Xavier Twentyone

    A long time ago, when myth blended with reality and heroes blended with the lows, there was once a warrior named Aries who helped Britain fight against the Northman invasion.

    Together with his brother Taurus, the two always protect their village with almost no personnel at their hands. Yet, they managed to distill the invading forces long enough for The King’s Knights to come and help them fight.

    Because of his achievement to successfully fight off the Northman every single time, the people started to call him Aries the Fierce, and his brother Taurus the Steel. A title that really shaped the way Aries viewed himself deep down, while his brother stayed humble and remained true to who he was.

    Several months had passed since the first invasion, and their win streak had reached even to the far end of Britain. People even started to hire the two of them to protect their villages from the Northman, making their names even higher than before.

    It was glorious and eternal at the same time to hear their names being sung by people they didn’t even know about. It was like drinking in a festival while dreaming the most delightful dream they would ever have.

    Sadly, because of Aries and Taurus’s heroism, The King’s Knight didn’t get as much recognition as they wanted. The Knight’s General, Sir Scorpio, wrote a letter to Aries as a warning to never help any other village again.

    Aries, who was illiterate, ignored the general’s warning as he and his brother helped yet another village. The news spread like geese migration, reaching the general’s ear with godspeed. The furious general then ordered an arrest of Aries, but as the knights knew Aries’s reputation and skill, they knew this wouldn’t be easy.

    Several days had passed and The General didn’t receive any news from Aries’s arrest. Suddenly, a dead Flesh Horse sprung from a window to the castle’s throne room as The King and The General talked about internal affairs. Flesh Horse was indeed a symbol of misadventure, but it was also a symbol of opposition and revelation.

    1. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      Some of the stories for this particular prompt had made me thing of something: at first, I though that would be a somewhat limiting prompt for us to write for. So specific that it would make for a lack of diversity in the stories. But boy, was I wrong. Some of the stories are a lot more diverse than I could fathom for even more open-ended prompts, and yours certainly is quite in that spectrum of things I would never dream of.

      I really like the tone of this tale. It mixes some epic storytelling with something else that I can’t quite name, but made me feel as if at the end I’d be hearing a moral lesson like those that seemed to follow some ancient fables.

      I am a bit on the fence about using Zodiac signs as names for the characters. I don’t think that’s a problem per se, but I can’t help but make associations (either with commonplace astrology or with other works that also got inspiration from those zodiacal signs), and so I was expecting some more use of that that would either use or break the associations I was already formulating. That is not a problem of the story, more of a problem of my own expectation, but I wonder on this particular choice (and also why the King didn’t also receive a zodiacal namesake).

      And I needed to read the story twice to really make sense of the ending. Not that it is cryptic, but it felt a little bit unprompted. It really isn’t, but maybe it was the surprise and the element of the prompt appearing at the end that got me a bit overwhelmed.

      Anyway, very interesting tale, and a very surprising one. Keep on writing!

      1. Xavier21 Avatar

        This story really is unprompted in anyway possible LOL, and I can really understand that people who will read this did not expect a story like this especially from “The Flesh Horse” prompt. When I first reread it again I was thinking that the Flesh Horse part seems like a side premise rather than the main focus. However, unlike my other works, I am really satisfied with this one.

        About the zodiac name, I correlate it with esoteric astrology a little bit for their personality, although Aries and Taurus’s personality weren’t fleshed out in the story, that is not yet…

        Here are hints for the use of astrology in this writing or future writings… if i decide to make any:
        Aries: I Am
        Taurus: I Have
        Scorpio: I Desire

        But as far as your comment, I just wanna say thank you for your complement on the feel of this story, because when I write my stories, I usually don’t know where the story goes and why I write it in the first place. My first thought when I write this is that I wanna create something more simple since my last work (Mrs. Jones’s Lottery Prize in last prompt) is a lot more complex for it’s word limit. I do wanna say that I really like mythological and fable stories, so that’s why i called your review a complement.

        P.S. The king didn’t recieve zodiac name because of 2 reasons, not important enough and for me at least, since he is the King, then he should be above everyone, including the zodiacs.

  25. Greetings and farewells
    by Elias (@Dobřeta)

    A gentle breeze swept across the lazy sides of a grassy plain, in sheer innocence carrying a grim stench. It was not lifted by the fresh breath of a water stream, timidly crossing the meadow, nor was it weakened by it.

    A pathetic pile of flesh sat where an equine once was, silently observing the grass which lost all meaning to it, the trails it would not travel ever again, a creek which no longer offered any refreshment.

    It was not sad, for horses are very patient creatures. This horse believed so, at least. It had seen bad things. They passed. It had seen good things – they passed just the same. It did, however, grief everything that was lost. Friends it was sure never to meet again. Herds that moved on without it. Foals it wouldn’t ever see grow up.

    Hours passed, until the sorrowful memory of a horse was approached by a spindly figure. They were draped in a fabric weaven from night and sewn together by tears of the bereaved.

    When the horse became aware of company, it turned its apathetic gaze towards them with a silent question in its eyes. It had long lost the ability to speak.

    The Reaper sat down next to the hollow ghost and gently ran their hand across its head. The horse neighed softly in relief and the Reaper’s heart ached when they saw its eyes light up. And so, it did something new.

    “Rise, steed.”

    The horse, to its own surprise, did just that. Its legs felt as nimble as it remembered them to, and its body so, so light. It was free of flesh, now, that was the price the Reaper demanded from it.

    “Come along. My legs were just getting tired.”

    And so the horse trotted after its new friend. With an eerie whinny, it got their attention.

    “A name? I have never named anything, or anybody. I do not think I am very good at it. Are you sure? …I’ll just call you Horse then, until you make up your mind, silly.”

    1. Oh btw guys, if you’d notice any grammar mistakes, words used in a wrong way or some other language shenanigans, please let me know. English is my second language and I aim to improve my skill level.
      Thxx

    2. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      Hello Elias. I don’t think I have seen your name here before, so, if you are new, welcome! And… well, this is such a strange time and prompt to be a first!

      I really like this story. Particularly the first part. It is very melancholic and fatalistic, but it employs such beautiful language that it end up sounding so profound and poetic!

      And I find fascinating the idea that the Reaper just decided on taking the horse since he is getting tired. This feels at once quite banal, funny, but also possibly profound.

      This was a very enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing it!

      1. Hi! I am brand new here indeed, thank you for the warm welcome.

        It was a peculiar prompt in fact, but all the more interesting to write my take on.
        I’m glad you liked it – I hoped to evoke such emotions within the reader during the respective passages, so it’s awesome to hear it came off that way.

        See you around!

    3. Shinigama Avatar
      Shinigama

      I love stories with a wholesome Grim Reaper. It reminds me of Death from the Discworld series. I especially love the Reaper’s lines – they’re very natural and also poetic in a sad way.

      The opening paragraphs describing the scene are very poetic, although a little awkward in some places. However, as you said, English is your second language. With a little work, they’d be perfect.

      Well done!

      1. Thank you for your kid words!
        I adore Death as well, I think he served as a bit of inspiration for me even.

        I’m glad you found the Reaper’s character endearing, I am quite proud of how they turned out tbh.

        Thanks for letting me know about that first paragraph! I had a feeling it was a bit off, but I wasn’t sure.

  26. Forlorn Nevermore

    By Joe

    I woke up in a panic for I thought that I went blind, until a being came into view. First as a pair of white dots like light on an animals eyes, and then a skinless equine with its front formed normally as an equine and a large mound of moving meat that groaned as it was dragged effortlessly. I tried to get up and run but couldn’t move.

    “Don’t bother struggling.” A loud whisper echoed. “You won’t break free from the shadow. It feeds off the fear you’ll never be rid of.”

    After hearing that, I attempted to calm down and see this equine as nothing more than a being like me.

    “Go ahead. Try.” It whispered

    So I did, to no avail.

    “It’s not only the fear of me or this realm that binds you. There is also the fear of your own world.”

    I froze.

    “Yes. You are a hopeful being in search of a better world, but you fear them more than you do me because they’re more real to you than I. They can turn on you at any time, and you’re never sure who it is you can trust after the constant abuses practiced and created everyday. But that’s not your greatest fear is it?”

    My eyes widened as I was being read.

    “It’s that world peace has already been attained by the mutual agreement of self destruction. And as you try to find peace in your own life, and whoever you manage to convince to live that life with you, you are waiting for oblivion so the pain of the search and preservation can be relieved. It impresses me that humanity is not an eldritch horror itself.”

    My eyes widened and welled up as a sharp shaky breath took me. My mind and body were at this horror’s disposal.

    “Fortune finds you today, as I will give you this gift.”

    I screamed as the skinless equine had unhinged its jaw and the shadow held me up to its maw to swallow me whole.

    “Forlorn nevermore.”

    1. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
      Arith_Winterfell

      A good story. I love the gothic horror elements, including the nevermore. I like how it ends with the terrified narrator swallowed by the Flesh Horse. Plus all the discussion about fear is interestingly philosophical, and engaged me quite a bit. Well done!

    2. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      The whole discussion on fear – and part of that fear coming not only from wanting a better place, but also in understanding the peace it craves come from terrible acts and tensions and that it must eventually be relieve in destruction… that’s really engaging. I love how you managed to make the whole apparition be terrifying, but the most terrifying thing in the whole story is not the supernatural element or the monster in it, but the discussion on how one feels and believes.

      That’s incredible dark… and engaging!

      I also love the comparison of humanity and an eldritch horror… specially coming from the maw of an eldritch horror itself!

      Is it sad that I find that ending, gruesome as it is, a relief? I guess part of the discussion on that tension being unsustainable really gets to me, and I can see how the existential horror of living with it might be unbearable.

      Great story.

      1. Your interpretation of the ending is actually accurate to what I wanted the reader to feel. It is sad the end because the chance to find happiness is immediately taken away.

        But in reality, we haven’t achieved peace through the mutual agreeent of self destruction, simply because we haven’t given up yet. Some of us are still trying with great success in some places. And this interpretation of a self destuctive agreement is nothing more than an interpretation.

        There are other legitimate fears of how this will end. Like, will we have enough time before the great disaster wipes us all out? The answer is that we don’t know. We only know that not all of us are gonna be alive to see it.

        But the big take away I got from this fear is that there is a chance to attain the peace we dream of. And no disaster or timer is going to take away the fact that there was one.

        That’s where I find relief and motivation to try anyways.

        Thank you for reading.

    3. Interesting. Isekai’d into a nightmare existence by the power of their own fears and imagination. And then eaten by the Flesh Horse.

      That’s a spicy chain of nightmare fuel. I appreciate it.

      It’s terrifying to really think about so take that as a really good compliment.

      1. Silver lining. You don’t have to pay rent to be in the flesh horse. Free flesh bed.

  27. The Faithful Steed (Darkspell Universe)
    By Alex Nightingale (aka Spectre)

    The tip or the night’s hunt hadn’t been for naught, even if it had cost Lilith something very dear to her: the motorcycle she’d been riding. It had been a most faithful companion in her exploits as a monster hunter, getting her from place to place efficiently and never once throwing her off. She’d been surprised herself how quickly she’d taken up motorcycle riding, given that it had been her first time, but she supposed that Father had programmed the knowledge into her at her creation.

    Now, it was just a pile of rubble, torn to bits by a horde of feral reptiles, who now lay in their own blood around it. She honestly hadn’t expected the creatures to be able to bite through metal like that.

    But she couldn’t mourn her faithful motorcycle yet. The nest may be dead, but the mother of the nest, was still out there. And it was fast, faster than she could run on foot. She could run further, yes, but that didn’t help her much, if the creature reached someone else to devour. She was out of bullets and out of knives to throw. While she didn’t need weapons to take down the creature, she did need transportation to reach it in time.

    A snorting sound made her turn. She was being watched. A pair of equine eyes observed her closely. She cocked her head to the side. A horse could run faster than her and without her steel horse, maybe one made of flesh could do.

    For a moment, she hesitated. She didn’t want to steal. Her code told her not to rob people, yet she felt her base programming overwrite anything else in her mind. As if commanded by strings, she walked up to the horse slowly, trying to keep it calm. The horse didn’t move. It just kept watching her, letting Lilith saddle it and hop on with surprising ease.

    Before she could even wonder how she knew how to saddle and ride a horse, she was off, chasing her target through the darkness of the forest.

    1. Lee Strangely Avatar
      Lee Strangely

      Compared to most other stories posted here, this feels shorter and more fast paced. I don’t think there’s any problem with that, I just found that interesting. This piece does a pretty good job outlining all the info one would need to understand the story and it’s world in a short span of time, and all without feeling like a catch-up exposition dump. The description of the motorbike and its significance (especially after it’s destroyed) gives off feelings similar to that of Crowley when he lost his Bentley in Good Omens. On an unrelated note I would like to add that you did a remarkable job coming up with a creative way to work with the fairly specific prompt of “The Flesh Horse.” Altogether this was a great piece. Well done!

  28. Fog Wall Avatar

    Everyone here is amazing.

  29. Shinigama Avatar
    Shinigama

    The Flesh Horse is an Ass
    by Shinigama

    The candles were lit, the mystical circle drawn, and the Book of Summoning was open. Everything was prepared.

    “Ready, Arith?” asked Kaylie.

    “Yes, Kaylie.” replied Arith.

    They kneeled outside the circle, held their hands together, and closed their eyes.

    “O All-Powerful Flesh Horse,” they chanted, “We summon ye in your unbound glory. Hail the Flesh Horse. Hail the Flesh Horse. HAIL THE FLESH HORSE!”

    Blue lightning crackled within the circle’s bounds. Smoke filled the room. There was a bang and a flash of light.

    And a figure loomed from within the circle.

    Perched on four skeletal legs with stringy muscle wrapped around gleaming white bones, the creature was truly an eerie sight to behold.

    It was also four feet tall and had very long ears.

    The creature coughed and began to speak.

    “I, The Flesh Horse, Have Been Summoned. Speak!”

    Kaylie and Arith looked at each other, then back at the creature.

    “Are you… really the Flesh Horse?” asked Kaylie.

    “Yes.” said the creature.

    “Are you sure?” asked Arith.

    “Yes!” said the creature irritably, “Doth Thou Doubt The Might Of The Flesh Horse’s Presence?!”

    “No, no!” said Kaylie, “It’s just… aren’t horses bigger?”

    There was a short pause.

    “I’m A… Shetland Pony?” said the creature uncertainly.

    “And you have big ears for a horse,” said Arith.

    “Shetland ponies have big ears!”

    “And that’s not a horse’s tail!” cried the two friends together.

    The creature sighed and glanced at its long grey tail with black bristles at the end.

    “Alright, I admit it,” it said, “I’m not the Flesh Horse. I’m the Flesh Donkey.”

    “Flesh Donkey?!”

    “Yes,” said the Flesh Donkey, “The Flesh Horse isn’t available.”

    “Where is he?” asked Kaylie.

    “On holiday.”

    “Holiday?!”

    “Even elder beings of incomprehensible power need a break. Meanwhile, I’m his substitute.”

    “So, what about our wishes?” said Arith.

    “Well, what were your wishes?” asked the Flesh Donkey.

    “Immortality!” said Kaylie.

    “Unlimited power!” said Arith.

    “World domination!” they yelled together.

    The Flesh Donkey shuffled its hooves awkwardly.

    “I’m afraid that’s a little beyond my capabilities,” it said, “However… I can do some mean card tricks!”

    1. Fog Wall Avatar

      This got me a laugh outta me! It was unexpectedly great. Awesome work.

    2. Hey, this was awesome!
      It’s a really cool idea to take a prompt that almost calls for something creepy, and turn it into a funny story.
      It feels like a situation straight out of a Terry Pratchett book, with these powerful entities just horsing around.

      I think you could try and focus a little bit on formatting in the future, but then again this story was heavily based on speech which renders formatting proper paragraphs a bit more challenging.

      In the end though, I think even that worked quite neatly with the comedic focus of your story and especially the timing, which was great.

    3. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
      Arith_Winterfell

      This story got a good laugh from me. It was a funny and clever play on the Flesh Horse prompt! The Flesh Donkey sounds hilarious, and the ending with the “it is beyond my power, but I do card tricks” was a funny punchline. I enjoyed our addition into the story too. Great work, Shinigama.

      1. Shinigama Avatar
        Shinigama

        Really glad you enjoyed it, thank you!

    4. Aracnarquista Avatar
      Aracnarquista

      That was quite funny. I was already hooked when the names of the summoners were dropped, but it just kept getting better and better. And it is not just the story as written that is funny, but the implications are quite amusing as well. Eldritch beings taking vacations and having substitutes, a whole bunch of equine horrors without skin granting wishes… and that punchline was pure gold. Amazing story!

    5. This is HILARIOUS!

      The Flesh Donkey actually sounds like a nice being. I was anticipating this creature being mean and unlikeable in the OTHER definition of ass.

      I’m also loving that you had Arith and Kaylie summoning the creature in some delightful meta

    6. Strong Berry Avatar
      Strong Berry

      What a nice comedy, it’s such a breath of fresh air with this gory, scary prompt. And you managed to get meta with it too, and in a very fun way. The Flesh Donkey… Arith should’ve known about this. And honestly, the Flesh Horse going on Holiday is sort of in character, considering he is an arrogant, narcissistic monster. He may have done this just to piss them off.

      Good job!

    7. Tamela Redfin Avatar
      Tamela Redfin

      This deserves all the reads. I love it.
      Also, anyone want to see its card tricks? Just me? Ok…

    8. Lol! Love it! You had me at the title and got me even further with the summoners, but I was actually chuckling at the second indication that it might not have been a horse because that’s when the title finally clicked it was glorious.

      I personally would totally go for the card tricks.

      Hilarious take on the prompt!

    9. I confess I didn’t really read the whole story, just the last half as I was scrolling through, but that was enough to give a like.

      I do love that the summoning ritual isn’t strong enough to bring it’s target out of vacation.

      They should ask the Flesh Donkey for a raincheck and wait for the Flesh Horse to come back.

  30. Lhesf Eorsh.

    By Galer.

    Julian saw pretty weird things ever since he came to this network, Heroes, gods ascendants, eldritch beings, and, a conscious being in his right arm that won’t stop calling him father.

    So he wasn’t completely caught off guard by the being he could see behind his metal blindfold, just in from of the door of his mentor’s house

    What did freak him out was the mashed flesh on the floor and horrible amounts of blood. The being in front of him was leaking out of his body like a faucet, not to mention the multiple deformed horse heads and limbs, along with the cracking of bones and the echoing garbled braying that would be impossible for any creature to do.

    Julian almost immediately puked upon seeing that, but he maintained his composure.

    “Please wait a minute,” he then delicately closed the door.

    “Akaosi!” Julian called, ” I think we have a visitor.”

    “Who is it?” Akasosi, his hooded eldritch mentor, asked, ” is it the Mailman again?”

    “Not this time; but they are a pile of flesh, blood, and horseheads,” Julian said and the braying started again. ” I don’t know what he wants, I just want to puke in the nearest bathroom thank you very much”

    “Oh, you meet Eferth. Don’t worry, I called him to talk with me. He’s an old friend of mine,” Akaosi said while waving away his concerns with her blue arms. “And yes, he is made out of flesh, he is worshiped as a god of life by his cult.”

    “I am not going to question that,” Julian, said while going to the bathroom.

    “And don’t worry about him trying to enter your head,” Akaosi said .” I already taught him not to do that without consent”

    Julian just groaned in Annoyance, don’t get him wrong, he wasn’t judgmental, but the encounter was burned into his head thanks to the disturbing imagery.

    He had enough flesh and blood for today, it seems.

    1. Dagmar Makara (dystop) Avatar
      Dagmar Makara (dystop)

      Ah in a world of metal, I love the juxtaposition of the mashed flesh and blood on the floor! You really paint a gory and macabre scene very well.

      The transition from that to this amusing paragraph is seamless by the way:

      “Who is it?” Akasosi, his hooded eldritch mentor, asked, ” is it the Mailman again?”

      “Not this time; but they are a pile of flesh, blood, and horseheads,” Julian said and the braying started again. ” I don’t know what he wants, I just want to puke in the nearest bathroom thank you very much”

      Absolutely love it. Also love the idea that he warned his “old friend” not to “enter his head” without consent… it does make me wonder what kind of monstrosity this is!

      And I cannot blame Julian for that imagery being burned into his head, it’s burned into mine 😛

      Great job 🙂

      1. thanks, I like to dabble in body horror a lot for some reason,I tried my best here.

  31. Berith Quinn Avatar
    Berith Quinn

    Nuckelavee
    by Berith Quinn

    Sean cursed himself for being so stubborn. The winter’s night air was colder than he ever remembered, and he could feel the snow seeping through his pants. But he needed to get to Fallsborough by morning.

    While the snow hadn’t blanketed the ground completely, it did seem to hide every pothole and loose rock. This was a fact that Sean was too well aware, as he seemed to find every one of them.

    Falling head first into the snow, Sean cursed loudly, as he felt his ankle twist. This godforsaken snow and blasted road was worse than any warning the locals in the tavern had given. What had they said? That a skinless centaur prowls the road at night?

    Chuckling to himself, Sean slowly stood up, before collapsing to the ground. As Sean grabbed his ankle, he winced in pain. There was no way he could put any weight on his ankle, let alone make the journey to Fallsborough.

    The faint sound of a horse’s hooves hitting the hard road gave Sean a brief glimmer of hope. As the sound grew closer, Sean could make out the outline of a jet black horse and rider, travelling by a single lantern light.

    No.

    That was no lantern. But a singular yellow eye in the centre of the horse’s head.

    Each deafening thud of the horse’s hoof, slivers of skin peeled from its hide, revealing nothing but bare pulsating flesh. Like its steed, the rider’s skin sloughed off in wet sickening chunks, falling to the ground with a dull moist plop.

    As the pair approached, their exposed flesh rippled as muscle and sinew flexed and tightened. Black ichor coursed through the yellow veins that danced up from the horse, and crawled across rider’s legs that slowly fused into their steed. No longer were they a rider and steed, but a macabre fusion of both, as only the skinless rider had fully merged waist down to his horse of flesh.

    As the rider’s lipless mouth slowly contorted to a twisted smile, it extended a bloody hand towards Sean.

    “Care for a ride?”

    1. Shinigama Avatar
      Shinigama

      The build-up is intense in this story. And the description of the horse in all its gory glory is extremely detailed.

      It’s also interesting that the final line could be interpreted in multiple ways. The “Skinless centaur” (love that phrase) is genuinely trying to help Sean. Or the line could be read in a more mocking tone – the Flesh Rider is only pretending to help Sean, when really he has far more sinister motives.

      Awesome work!

  32. Skeleton Avatar

    The Flesh is Weak (The Will)
    By Skeleton

    “Judging by the design, it appears to be a blueprint or construction manual for a Forebearer vehicle.” Eymir watched as the white dragoness paced back and forth in front of the diagram as she studied the newly acquired information with paramount intrigue. “I don’t understand it at all,” she admitted. “All of this tech is way beyond our understanding… and yet it reminds me of…”

    Eymir rolled his eyes, a smile working its way onto his lips as he watched his wife dive through the impossible amount of records she was forced to keep. “Another diagram?” he guessed as Remianna resurfaced from the sea of books and notes.

    “No. A recorded conversation between two Forebearers named Eregrim and Orlunae. Other evidence suggests they were extremely important figures in their society, as well as at the forefront of their culture and technology. They were proclaimed to be the sons of The Creator—whatever that means.”

    “Let’s hear it, then.”

    Remianna cleared her throat and began to read aloud. “Orlunae opens: “Are you insane, or just plain stupid, you smear of failure? The Creator—the one who built the land under our feet, the one who sewed the rules that govern our world, the one who created us and tasked us with the divine duty—asks us for a gift, and you want it made of flesh?””

    “Eregrim responds: “Yes. The steed is elegant, quick, and strong. Its hair and tail flutter on the wind—a symbol of the freedom he values above all else. The material is readily on hand, it can be self-produced like the servers, as well as aid them in their tasks. He will love it.””

    “He will hate it. It requires too much upkeep. Metal is the future, brother, and my two-wheel design will take him much farther, much faster than that… abomination.”

    “You’re just mad that you know I’m right.”

    Eymir began laughing vigorously, though his lips were sealed. Remianna looked to him confused, to which he shared briefly, wondering why the conversation felt familiar. “Some things never change, I guess,” he reasoned with a ghost of a laugh.

    1. Dagmar Makara (dystop) Avatar
      Dagmar Makara (dystop)

      First of all the intrigue hits immediately, which is impressive. Something incomprehensible yet familiar. Our characters are already strangely likeable from the offset. The mystery continues to mount and mount and we get this drip-feed of suspense that is perfectly paced.

      Also I just have to call out this beautiful phrasing: “the one who built the land under our feet, the one who sewed the rules that govern our world, the one who created us and tasked us with the divine duty—asks us for a gift, and you want it made of flesh?”

      It’s amusing but at the same time beautiful imagery.

      I love the little disagreements between the characters.

      The mystery is also left on a very cool little cliffhanger with a very simple but effective device of the conversation feeling familiar (again):

      “Eymir began laughing vigorously, though his lips were sealed. Remianna looked to him confused, to which he shared briefly, wondering why the conversation felt familiar. “Some things never change, I guess,” he reasoned with a ghost of a laugh.”

      A ghost of a laugh is also gorgeous description.

      Good job : )

    2. MacBoiZen Avatar
      MacBoiZen

      Ah, I’m intrigued already with the notion of dragon-people (least I think that’s what you’re going for), but now I’m even more intrigued. Who are the Forebearers? What do they do? Why did they wanna make a flesh horse? And the description at the end is nice and concise. I like this.

    3. This was a fun piece about two creators arguing over whether an organic horse or a bike is the future. Orlunae and Eregrim arguing trying to impress their creator with flesh and metal is a pretty fun take and could totally be a creation myth about why bikes outpaced horses.

      I like the banter between the characters. It feels very natural and engaging. It’s also easy to follow. The lore bits about the diagrams of the Forebearers is pretty interesting. I assume motorcycles were lost in this world somehow.

      Well done!

  33. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
    Arith_Winterfell

    “The Self Unborn”

    By: Arith_Wintefell

    In my dream visions I reach out beyond my world. I tumble downward into infinity. I feel it reach out to my mind. The angel of flesh, flesh-feather wings unfurled from its inner muscles and organs, and the terrible face of a horse’s skull.

    It reaches out and I see things I do not understand. Shining lights of cities with more people than stars in the sky. Men dueling with swords of light and fire. People decanted from dark waters heralded by men and women in white robes. People with strange faces of flesh and steel. I saw towers and tunnels hidden away on airless worlds older than the sparks that birthed our own sun. Inscriptions in long dead alien tongues.

    It speaks to me, “Our thoughts are as the waters of the sea. Ever changing. Shifting and becoming. To busy changing to lie. I am the truth. I am the darkness. We bear countless faces.”

    Then I looked at myself and I saw what it meant. For I was many faces. Countless possibilities stretching behind me and before me. Born again and again. Like looking into a mirror facing another mirror. I was everyone, learning suffering and compassion. The seed of divinity.

    Then I looked deeper and was afraid, for I also saw nothingness. My faces empty masks barely concealing the dark nothingness between the stars. The shadow of myself and all the things about myself I hated and could not bear. I could feel my body and mind unravelling.

    But it reached out and I could feel it brace me, and I was whole. It was as a woman with polished marble flesh. A body that was a cocoon with a crack down its spine opening before me. The tendrils of flesh wings unfurled against the night. It looked down at me with eyes made of the night sky. Most terrible of all, it smiled with sad compassion silently weeping an ichor made of darkness.

    I could bear no more! It released me with mercy and I awoke to the first rays of the dawn.

    1. This feels like WAY more than 350 words. It’s one heck of an intense experience. Is it a dream? A vision? A prophecy? A space between incarnations to view everyone your protagonist used to be?

      It’s confounding and surreal and mythological all at once. I like it.

    2. Berith Quinn Avatar
      Berith Quinn

      There’s something about this piece that makes it both visceral and yet majestic. It is so divinely macabre, that it blurs the line between nightmares and ethereal grace. I’m also in awe how you managed to get such vivid imagery in such small piece. I honestly can’t express how much I love this piece.

    3. Dagmar Makara (dystop) Avatar
      Dagmar Makara (dystop)

      Oooh the skull imagery is something else! I hadn’t thought to consider the flesh horse has having a skull-face, I love it.

      “It speaks to me, “Our thoughts are as the waters of the sea. Ever changing. Shifting and becoming. To busy changing to lie. I am the truth. I am the darkness. We bear countless faces.” – this line is super poetic and menacing. It feels like our protagonist is seeing glimpses of the past, future, or both. As you mentioned – some kind of infinity.

      “Then I looked deeper and was afraid, for I also saw nothingness.” – gaze too long into the abyss : )

      IMO this paragraph is the best in the piece, it’s absolutely terrifying for some reason… the alieness of it… and OOF “weeping an ichor of darkness” – what a beautiful line!

      “It was as a woman with polished marble flesh. A body that was a cocoon with a crack down its spine opening before me. The tendrils of flesh wings unfurled against the night. It looked down at me with eyes made of the night sky. Most terrible of all, it smiled with sad compassion silently weeping an ichor made of darkness.”

      Fantastic job 🙂

    4. Shinigama Avatar
      Shinigama

      That was an intense and descriptive journey into your dreamscape. I really love the second paragraph – “more people than stars in the sky”, “people decanted from dark waters heralded by men and women”. I love the impossibility of it. I can see how it was you who wrote of the Flesh Horse in the first place.

      An amazing work of cosmic horror. Brilliant!

    5. Damn. I love how contradicting the scenes you describe are – and yet, they are so clear and precise.
      The descriptions were done very well, it makes the reader feel as though they themselves are dragged alongside the protagonist and their own mind is exposed to these visions.
      Now, excuse me while I go think about what a flesh-feather is.

    6. I just remembered the voice of Tony Jay, and reading it with his voice in my head made this already awesome tale more epic.

      This is the type of story I want read to me while I drift off to sleep with a slight apprehension, but a sense of wonder. Mostly because of the nice word use.

      Now have a like, you brilliant author you.

    7. I think the thing I love the most about this is that we don’t have any idea what he was seeing or why he was seeing it. And we have just a smidge more understanding.

      It’s a great example of how these things can drive you to madness. “What was I seeing? What does it mean? Why was I shown it? [Insert ‘I don’t need sleep I need answers’ clip]”

      The end parts are the most intriguing. I’m curious if the flesh horse became the cocoon, if it created it, or if it was just another vision.

      The mirrors reflecting each other is always a great example of eternity, possibility, and recurrence.

      Great story.

      All hail the flesh horse, for it is always with us.

  34. Fog Wall Avatar

    DNA:Designer/Nominated/Alterations
    ~By: (AW)Fog Wall

    Prompt 1: The Flesh Horse
    Scene 1: The Mandatory Upgrade

    It’s my twenty-fifth birthday and like everyone else, I’ve received my virtual voucher for my free alteration. Of course, I’ve been dreading this decision for a multitude of years. Then again, who doesn’t? They’re expensive.

    I stepped from the taxi, and thanked the sun for its warmth. Damn taxi services. I can’t wait to have my own vehicle. The taxi’s chill left me as I took a deep breath of the summer’s fresh air.

    I passed by the entry checkpoint without henderances. The automated system took my information, confirmed my age and validated my voucher. It spat out my queue number and sent me onward to a small room of chairs. No music, No movies, not even a holographic ad reel. Oh, how I hated these governmental facilities.

    There weren’t many people in here, So I took a seat near a woman around my age. Her short black hair and bangs that framed her face but hid her ears. She didn’t seem to notice me and I could see the web pages flashing in her eyes as she browsed. This isn’t her first upgrade, that much is apparent.

    She caught my admiration, because she turned and looked right at me and her eyes locked with mine. They were a vivid green with flakes of gold. She offered me a friendly smile. “Hello! Is this your first time? Are you nervous?”

    She glanced down, noticing my nervous knee. “Uh… Hi and it is.” I admitted to her with a little hesitation.

    She held out a fist, “Well! Happy birthday! My name’s Koalle.”

    I could feel my chest loosen some, so I returned her smile, “I’m James, pleasure to meet you.” I met her offered fist and found her knuckles to be ice cold against my own.

    The intercom called a number and she jumped to her hooves. Prancing a circle in place, I spotted the tail she excitedly wagged. “That’s me!” She gave a gleeful little squeal with her hands under her chin. She caught me off guard, when she leaned down to me. “Got contact info?”

    1. Silas Winters Avatar
      Silas Winters

      This sounds like the start to a great story I’d love to read. I’m a sucker for augmentations. Love the topic. Sounds like Koalle and James are going to have a journey of sorts. Sadly I can only wonder what it is!

    2. This is almost cute. People can be retro-engineered into whatever they want and nobody seems to give a fig about it. I mean. Apart from the Surprise Centaur angle you had for your twist.

      This world would be such a blessing to so many people. I almost wish it could be real, and hope that it might yet become so.

      1. Fog Wall Avatar

        Centaurs have 4 legs, Ms. Koalle is a Satyr.

      2. Fog Wall Avatar

        I really appreciate your comment and hopefully I’ll find ways to have explore thos world more in future prompts.

    3. Shinigama Avatar
      Shinigama

      Very interesting and unique take on the prompt. Certainly a different idea on what the Flesh Horse could mean.

      What alteration would you have? I’d want retractable claws like a cat.

      1. Fog Wall Avatar

        Well, I can’t speak for James, but I’d like wings.

    4. This is such a fun idea. I’m a huge fan of the title lol. That said, you did such a great job introducing this world. Everything felt very grounded and realistic with how James reacted to it all.

      And the way you described Koalle was amazingly done as well. Even if you hadn’t said that she’d already been augmented before, it would have been clear just from how you described her. Great way of showing the reader an example of what can be done. And of course, a great way to use the prompt.

      Loved the story! Thanks for sharing!

  35. MacBoiZen Avatar
    MacBoiZen

    Excuse Me? (Alchemy’s Kin Unofficial)
    By MacBoiZen

    “A what?”

    Sayaka looked up from her book and made a quizzical expression.

    “A Flesh Horse? It’s a famous myth. You’ve never heard about it?” she asked.

    “At this point, I’m not sure if I want to,” Phoenix replied, setting down the can of almonds he was eating. Sayaka glanced over at the other boy seated on the porch, but he shook his head.

    “Imma keep it real, I lived in the inner city. I did not have time for that growin’ up.”

    “And I don’t suppose Fleur really cares,” Sayaka said, flipping over a few pages. “But yeah, my mother used to read these myths to me all the time. Legend has it the First Philosopher’s Stone created all kinds of weird and fantastical creatures when it shattered.”

    “Yeah, but…a Flesh Horse? Sounds a little…too abnormal, doesn’t it?” Phoenix added.

    “I mean, if we’re out here with elemental powers, I don’t think it’s out of the question.” Calais laughed. “So what exactly does this Flesh Horse do?”

    “Well,” Sayaka started, eagerly turning her book around to show them the illustration. “Supposedly it was a very powerful horse that was so affected by the Stone that its skin turned to human skin. It also seemed to be able to control individual pieces of that skin, which it would use to take unknowing victims to who-knows-where.”

    Phoenix gave a weird face like something had just died. Calais was equally as confused.

    “Super creepy, I know,” she continued, “but my guess is that it was just some story parents would tell their kids so they wouldn’t wander off. It does seem kinda fake, don’t you th—-“

    “It’s real,” a voice said from the doorway of the cabin. All three spun around to see Fleur leaning on the doorsill, twirling her glaive in one hand. “Or at least, it was. I’ll spare the details, but I killed it. Don’t know how it got away for so long.”

    Sayaka’s wide eyed stare was only matched in intensity by Calais’ incredulous stammering.

    “What?” Fleur asked.

    1. Dagmar Makara (dystop) Avatar
      Dagmar Makara (dystop)

      I am loving the lore you’ve provided here! The opening is so simple but so great. Introducing elements of alchemy and (I think kinda homunculi-type creatures, if I haven’t misunderstood) is super cool and a very interesting approach.

      I found myself reading each line with increasing interest to hear about the myth, like I was hearing a real campfire ghost story : ) “Controlling individual pieces of that skin” – oof that’s visceral, creepy and I love it. And that your flesh horse seems to be a serial abductor at the very least 😛

      “Phoenix gave a weird face like something had just died. Calais was equally as confused.”

      Fantastic line, fantastic similie.

      And then the sudden interjection of “It’s real” adds a real oomph factor to the story. Fleur seems like a mysterious and cool character that I’d love to see more of!

      Great job : )

    2. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      “It’s a famous myth. You’ve never heard about it?” she asked.”
      –Okay I’m already snorting/laughing

      “At this point, I’m not sure if I want to,”
      –Fair XD

      Calais is too cool for this.

      “And I don’t suppose Fleur really cares,”
      –Why tho?

      “But yeah, my mother used to read these myths to me all the time.”
      –Sayaka’s mom: “Okay sweetie, you ready for a bedtime story?”
      Sayaka: “Yay!”
      Sayaka’s mom: “Today we’re gonna be reading about *the flesh horse.* Lovely story to go to sleep to!”
      Sayaka: O_O

      “Legend has it the First Philosopher’s Stone created all kinds of weird and fantastical creatures when it shattered.”
      –Okay, in all seriousness, that’s a really neat idea

      “its skin turned to human skin.”
      –OH GOSH
      The Flesh Horse is terrifying enough as a creature of exposed muscle, or rotting sinew, but for some reason it having human skin is even more terrifying to me

      ” It also seemed to be able to control individual pieces of that skin, which it would use to take unknowing victims to who-knows-where.”
      –Yeah this went from hilarious to stark and utter terror in 3 seconds

      “It’s real,” a voice said from the doorway of the cabin.”
      –FLEUR DON’T SCARE ME LIKE THAT
      Seriously though, the fact that you were able to do the quintessential thing where a friend accidentally scares people after a scary story to me while reading is worthy of applause.

      “Or at least, it was. I’ll spare the details, but I killed it. Don’t know how it got away for so long.”
      –EXCUSE ME WHAT?!
      WHO ARE YOU?!
      I remember her training them but… killing ancient beings?! From when the first philosophers stone was created?! How old is she?! I thought she was just an experienced fighter!

      I think the only real critique I would have is with the character’s emotions. Maybe it’s just because I personally was reacting with horror, and maybe not everyone would react that way..but it felt odd to me they weren’t more disgusted/scared.
      “Phoenix gave a weird face like something had just died. Calais was equally as confused.” seemed like odd reactions to me. Him making faces wouldn’t be weird after that story, but…I’m not really getting what you’re going for with “like something had just died”…what *does* that face look like? Wouldn’t that be more sadness or shock? And confusion also doesn’t seem like the reaction most people would have after hearing that…But maybe that’s just me.

      This was great!! So glad to see you post again!!

      1. MacBoiZen Avatar
        MacBoiZen

        Thanks for the review! Totally fair critiques as I kinda just threw this together in between classes, but all fair nonetheless.

        Point about Fleur: was not my intention to have people think she’s ancient lol. I kinda just had the horse be crafty enough to survive to present day, but then Fleur just sorta figuring out where it was doing its shenanigans and just ‘blap’. It’s not canon anyways, I just thought I’d be funny.

    3. Silas Winters Avatar
      Silas Winters

      Love this one as well. My word of advice is to remove things like “he was eating” and “but I killed it”, especially the latter. Things like these end up being more like telling the audience what is happening rather than showing us what they are doing or naturally saying.

      If you wanted Fleur to seem more mysterious you could have her simply say nothing. Walk in the doorway, twirl the weapon, or whatever else is appropriate.

      Your work is good, but I think changes like these could bump it up notches. I’d love to see more from you.

      1. MacBoiZen Avatar
        MacBoiZen

        Thanks for the review! Yeah, fair enough pointing out that use of telling not showing. Will correct that.

        Fleur’s not technically supposed to be too mysterious, but it’s something I guess I haven’t thought too much about.

  36. Tamela Redfin Avatar
    Tamela Redfin

    The Horse and the Heart

    By Tamela Redfin

    Mica and Sapphira hurried to the horses. Mica could feel his heart beating. Could he really impress her?

    “Hey Mica.” He turned to see Cameron standing there. “May I have a word?”

    “You go on.” He nudged Sapphira and waited for Cameron to say his piece.

    “Why did you slick your hair back?” Cameron chuckled.

    Mica’s face reddened. “Better aerodynamics?”

    “Ha! I too was fourteen once. You look like you’re trying to impress someone.”

    “So what?” Mica asked.

    Cameron tried to ruffle his hair. “If Sapphira really likes you, you won’t need to show off.”

    Mica looked perturbed “And how do you know so much, Cameron?”

    “Because I’m dating her cousin, Cece. Cece loved me because I was nice to her, not because I was rich.”

    Mica tilted his head. It was worth a shot, he guessed.

    “Sapphira, Sapphira!” He ran over, calling to her.

    “Mica, are you ok?” She asked.

    “Cameron told me to… can I kiss your cheek?”

    “Aww, Mica.” She smiled, kissing him. “Time to ride the flesh horse.”

    “Flesh horse?” Mica blinked, “Aren’t all horses made of flesh?”

    1. In what I am guessing will be a SEA of horror elements, it’s cool to see one that’s not even going near horror. Unless you count the vertiginous terror of being rumbled as a horror element.

      I’m guessing Sapphira got a little verbal muddle there, with that prompt drop.

      [Hope you enjoy my bubbling jets of gore below]

      1. Tamela Redfin Avatar
        Tamela Redfin

        Yes, but I was thinking more of the classic tale “The Velveteen Rabbit” featuring a SKIN horse. The skin horse aids the rabbit’s transition from toy to real rabbit.

        Cameron is the stand in for that with Mica as the rabbit.

        Glad you liked :3.

    2. The idea of people living in a gory horror themed world so casually makes it more hilarious to me than I think it should. Especially if Mica is very new.

      But anyways, it was a nice story with an easily flusterable but reluctantly daring character who clearly wants love and affection from someone. And it was great how you applied the flesh horse as more of a gag that will advance the plot if the story were to go on.

      I enjoyed the story. Now have a like.

    3. Shinigama Avatar
      Shinigama

      What a bomb to drop at the end! I thought you’d only taken the ‘horse’ part of the prompt and turned it into a sweet love story… I did a double take at the last two lines!

      In any case, the last lines were a relief. The love story brought back too many painful memories from puberty. If anything I’d take the Flesh Horse over reliving ages eleven to sixteen.

      Great work!

    4. Yes, Mica, all horses ARE made of flesh.
      XD

  37. First Use of Demonology [A Devil’s Tale Lore]
    C. M. Weller

    A universal truth is that everything that rises must fall. Dragons shaped the world, once, and the creatures they made were their downfall. Elves were next to reign over the world, and they were busily fighting on their way down.

    It was the Humans who were the valiant underdogs. Mad, crazed, short-lived things barely better than apes. They had found how to connect with the Plane of Torment, and had made… an unhallowed deal. The results of one such deal were on the road before her.

    Demonic of form. Blood red skin. Shadows creeping around them, coiling like enraged snakes. And the creature it rode was a necromantic nightmare. Patched together from the remains of battlefields and dripping blood.

    A horse. Made of other fallen horses. If it had once possessed a skin, it had sloughed away some time in the past. The remaining muscles reeked of rot and corruption. It didn’t matter to the nightmare, and it didn’t matter to the rider.

    Not a demon. A demonic human. Kindred of the hells. There were features missing that might be expected of an actual demon. No wings. No hooves. The eyes glowed with a light of its own rather than being jet black.

    Aedan instantly made herself a shield of magic as the fearsome creature caused the very shadows to change.

    They stared each other down. The air filled with an eldritch whispering and the dew on the leaves began to turn to blood.

    One on its own was not a problem for an Elf who knew her magework, but one mounted on a necromantic nightmare? That might be a challenge.

    The hells kin barked something in the brutal Human tongue.

    There were other nightmares. And other hells kin. One had a dead deer draped across the corpse horse it was riding.

    One raised its hand. Magic gathering in its palm.

    They had sorcerers.

    Shit.

    Aeden started to pray that she would survive long enough to warn her community about this new development in the Xenophobia Wars.

    1. Tamela Redfin Avatar
      Tamela Redfin

      As a horse lover… AWWW! Demon horsey.
      Glad prompt all in all. 🙂

      1. Rotting necromantic horsey, thankyou XD

    2. Arith_Winterfell Avatar
      Arith_Winterfell

      I really liked the exploration of the threat of mounted demon-kin on necromantic horses. Though the deer draped over the other horse made me think maybe the hell-kin were just out hunting? An interesting turn in the story world of Kosh, now having Xenophbia Wars between Elves and Humans/Human-kin beings. Since we are locked in the elf’s point of view we really don’t know what these other characters were up to as the elf, I assume, can’t translate. Still, its kind of funny to see the elf go “Shit.” about them having sorcerers and fearing if she will be able to reach her village in time to warn them. Pretty dark, but it leaves me wondering still what’s really going on with the Hell-kin on horses? Good work!

      1. I have extended histories in mind that I _STILL_ have yet to write down. Dragons made the world of Alfarell, according to legend. The Elves moved in from the Plane of Magic and messed with everything [a number of other critters came with, but they didn’t really try to take over the world like the Elves did]

        Somewhere in there, the Humans evolved and then got sick of Elven BS and started the Xenophobia Wars. Which eventually resulted in desperate measures like demonology and necromancy.

        The Hellkin pictured here were probably hunting and scouting when they chanced upon a close encounter. Or scouting and the deer was a bit of serendipity for the stewpot.

    3. Dagmar Makara (dystop) Avatar
      Dagmar Makara (dystop)

      “Mad, crazed, short-lived things barely better than apes.” – I love this description of our species… it’s both bleak and strangely true 😛

      The Plane of Torment sounds cool as hell, I love your description of the shadows “coiling like enraged snakes” – and the turn of phrase “necromantic nightmare” is gorgeous alliteration. A horse made of fallen horses is such a cool idea! The smell of death you conveyed really adds to it.

      This sentence is downright ominous and scary: “The hells kin barked something in the brutal Human tongue.” – poetic, I daresay.

      And the little bit of whimsy in “They had sorcerers. Shit.” haha

      Ah I wish Aeden luck, they knew not what they had unleashed!

      1. I think Aeden’s going to need all the luck that can be found lol.

    4. Fog Wall Avatar

      This story left me plenty of questions. However, I really like the character interactions on display in here. They feel like a makeshift family.

      1. Yeah there’s a lot of stuff I couldn’t fit in because Word Limits. I did my best, dangit.

    5. *Full house theme plays*

      RACE WAAAARRRR!!!

      Honestly, this was a really cool take to give the lore of a whole world with different beings dominating the world at different times. First the dragons, then the elves, then the humans.

      I like how you not only made this order, but you also showed an interaction between an elf and the growing danger of humans in this scene. It not only tells that the elves time is limited, it also shows how humanity’s will to survive and dominate takes over to win by any means necessary.

      But on top of that, it’s the mixture of all these things existing simultaneously that makes this world feel larger, especially with the existence of demons and necromancy deepening the lore.

      Now have a like.

      1. Winning by any means necessary gives some lasting fallout. Which reminds me that I really should spend some time on writing up my world

    6. Shinigama Avatar
      Shinigama

      It’s already been mentioned by someone, but “Mad, crazed, short-lived things barely better than apes” is a terrific description of the human race.

      The horse’s description is absolutely terrifying, not only in how the horse looks but also in how it affects the environment – the eldritch whispering, the dew turning into blood. It’s as though the aura of fear surrounding the creature is a physical entity in and of itself, and I love it.

      I also love the paragraph describing the other nightmares. You leave a lot to interpretation with only one shocking example (“dead deer draped across the corpse horse it was riding”). It leaves the reader to fill in the gaps with all sorts of other horrors that their imagination can come up with.

      Awesome work!

      1. Humans aren’t the only ones being xenophobic in these wars 😀

        The shadows and dead deer are more the work of the Hellkin riders than the flesh horses themselves.

        I like using imagination for horror. It’s super effective.

    7. Oh, this is something else.
      Kinda surprised to see so many hellkin. I thought they were rare. But I get the impression that a lof dealing has been going on that would result in more of them. Also interesting that hellkin eyes glow, while demon eyes don’t. Feels like it’d be the other way around.

      Knowing there’s a war going on makes the fact this elf is traveling alone feel kind of weird. Was this area presumed to be safely away from the fighting until now? Or were they a lone survivor?

      Is Dragons>Elves>Human’s common? It’s not the first time I’ve seen that sort of inheritance, and I’m curious if it’s just a coincidence or if it’s a trope of sorts.

      1. This is more an accidental, unanticipated meeting. I thought I’d implied as much.

        This is EARLY in the rise of Humanity, so Hellkin are more an instrument of war than a shameful curse or something to be cut out of the bloodlines as it happens to be viewed in later eras.

        I’m curious to know where you saw that particular inheritance line, myself. I _THINK_ Tolkein did it? If not him, then CritRole gave me the idea and I created a mythology based on that.

        It’s still a half-arsed mythology though. I’m still noodling with the details.

  38. Dagmar Makara (dystop) Avatar
    Dagmar Makara (dystop)

    The Appearance of a Flesh Horse – Year 1672
    by Dystop

    Muscle connected to brawn, tissue, tendons and visceral marrow. Ligaments stretched the viscera of the magnificent creature. It was all at once grisly, and all at once a spectacle.

    The Flesh Horse had appeared in town.

    There weren’t many witnesses to its ethereal beauty. But those that saw it could not shake the daymares. The sleep paralysis of the equine visitor. Arising from the floor could be classified as night-terrors. If– they actually inspired terror. This was something else. The bowstrings of the local archers nervously twitched against a hidden figure. Something seen only clandestine in the shade.

    The village was uneasy. The few who had seen the vision of the horse, beseeched the nervous townsfolk to lower their crossbows.

    This was some kind of spiritual visitation. An unworldly apparition all at once intimidating but sacred and divine. The temples in the hills supported their wariness.

    Amongst the etchings of things which had passed, passing, and things yet to pass– the so-called Flesh Horse belonged in the latter category. Engravings like a wanted poster. Dead-accurate. The denizens didn’t dare challenge an omen. They knew better than to challenge fate itself.

    But many wondered, what did this brawny, taut spirit of cavalry want with them? And why now? Easterfest had ended. There were no significant dates upcoming. And yet, at the stroke of midnight, the “Flesh Horse”, or its true name as it spoke– “flǣsc equinus” reared its head in the market square – bedazzling onlookers who gazed with might and fright.

    For the first time it spoke. Not via mouth, as many had expected – but via the collective minds of everyone present. A scholar recognised it as French.

    « Salutations, habitants de Kindkerg – tu as ma protection en tant qu’esprit gardien de cette forêt »

    The Scholar hurriedly translated. “People of Kinderg, as the guardian spirit of this forest, I am your protector”.

    Before he could finish– a blinding light as the Flesh Horse seemed to rend, tear asunder, cleave and reweave. The forest lit up with a thousand fireflies. And the village knew peace.

    1. Tamela Redfin Avatar
      Tamela Redfin

      Bwhaha, Love it!

    2. Fog Wall Avatar

      This is pretty awesome, and I’m happy to say that this piece gave me a wonderful visualization of the flesh horse in a way I hadn’t expected. Serving as a spiritual guardian rather than a herald of doom and gloom.

      I really enjoyed reading this one. :]

    3. Berith Quinn Avatar
      Berith Quinn

      I do love how you depict the flesh horse as an otherworldly entity, that is both monstrous in appearance and yet instils divine reverence from the townspeople. I can actually picture the townspeople, on the cusp between worship of a benevolent spirit, and the beginnings of a cult for a primordial god. Though I have to admit, that ending… is it as dark and twisted as I suspect?

      1. Dagmar Makara (dystop) Avatar
        Dagmar Makara (dystop)

        I left that pretty ambiguous because I couldn’t really bring myself to decide his true motivations 😉

    4. Shinigama Avatar
      Shinigama

      I love the word “daymares” – it needs to be an official word.

      I also like how the Flesh Horse is described in a sinister manner – as an omen, as a representation of fate itself – yet when it speaks, it seems to take on a protective, benevolent role.

      Pourquoi parle le cheval de la chair en français?

      I wonder – is the last line meant to be ambiguous, or a positive ending? “… the village knew peace” could mean that the village’s inhabitants faced a future free of disease, poverty and war, or… they all rest in peace.

      In any case, great work!

      1. Dagmar Makara (dystop) Avatar
        Dagmar Makara (dystop)

        THANKYOU so much for noticing the little pun!

    5. This is quite the way to introduce a supernatural being. Arriving in an unorthodox manner with a menacing presence in the middle of a village.

      That’s enough to set anyone on edge, especially if you don’t know if it’s friendly.

      This also makes me curious as to how the flesh horse would act as a guardian. How it would protect the village? Would it have other animals serve as guardians as well? Or would the flesh horse do it by itself?

      The use of french is a nice touch to add to the mystique and terror of a new being. But I do wonder, why french?

      Overall this was a nice read. I give you my like.

    6. I. LOVE. The living heck out of kindly monsters. Creatures that appear to be horrible terrors but are actual sweeties.

      Having the Flesh Horse speak French is an interesting wrinkle to the proceedings. How did you decide on that happening?

      1. Dagmar Makara (dystop) Avatar
        Dagmar Makara (dystop)

        Ah thankyou for the kind words!

        As for the French – as I mentioned to Kaylie – as for the French I just happen to be fluent in it, but now I’m looking at it – Flesh Horse is speaking modern French in 1672, despite saying the town’s name in Middle-German (Kinderg) and referring to his own name (well, we the audience get this, at least – flǣsc equinus, which was more Gaellic/Latin mix). Perhaps he stretches across time and picks what languages he fancies?

    7. Frickin love this story! You pretty much has me in the opening paragraph and kept me from then on. Excellent use of descriptions here, both for the flesh horse itself as well as how everyone was reacting to it’s appearance.

      And then you get us with the twist that it’s a guardian spirit of the forest and is there to protect them.

      But then you have that deliciously ambiguous ending lol. There are a lot of different ways a village can know peace. All we know for sure is that whatever happened, it was done in a massive display of power.

      Great take on the prompt!

  39. Certain as The Sun Rising in The East
    By Marx

    “Where do you take me, Old One?” I ask with an amused smirk.

    “Someplace private,” he says. “Someplace special.”

    “Private?” I give him a look. “You hunted down the only other living beings remotely close to your cave into extinction.”

    My Old One turns back and faces me, caressing my cheek with his massive hand. “And I’d kill them again if it kept you safe.”

    There’s this… way he looks at me. Time stops. Everything goes fuzzy and… I experience a happiness my kind isn’t meant to know. I appreciatively smile at him, leaning into his touch.

    He smiles back. It should terrify me. His sharp, jagged teeth glow a dark crimson, matching the various other bony protrusions jutting from his large, hulking form. Instead, it reassures me.

    Turning away, he takes his pointer finger and thumb to his lips and lets out a piercing whistle. Though not only does the sound leave his lips, so too does a stream of fire that swirls into a doorway.

    Before I can ask where it leads, a large beast whose size dwarfs even my Old One appears and approaches us. It’s so massive that it takes me a moment to even recognize it as a horse.

    I’m breathless as I ask, “What in the nine circles is this?”

    My Old One smiles at me again. “You act as if you’ve never seen a horse before.”

    “Don’t toy with me, Old One! What happened to its flesh?”

    “I’ve been told that she’s… not complete. I’d imagine there are… three other horses just like her.”

    “Ah…” A shudder of realization goes through me. Still… she’s a beautiful creature, if not mildly horrific in the implications of her existence. “Is she in pain?”

    “Not at all. She merely awaits her true rider to give her form. But in the meantime, she’s the only way to access the Axis.”

    “The Axis?!” I shriek in alarm. “Are you mad?! Nothing can exist there!”

    My Old One gently squeezes my hand and gives me that look again. “Do you trust me?”

    It’s not even a question.

    “Yes…”

    1. Dagmar Makara (dystop) Avatar
      Dagmar Makara (dystop)

      ““I’ve been told that she’s… not complete. I’d imagine there are… three other horses just like her.””

      I absolutely adore that line… and the dynamic between these two characters is great, they seem thick as thieves but in constant surprise at each others antics. I love the comparison between a seemingly mysterious type Old One and the Flesh Horse’s appearance… something that’s insane even by his standards!

      I think your characters are your strongest point in this story, lines like:

      ““And I’d kill them again if it kept you safe.”, and “My Old One smiles at me again. “You act as if you’ve never seen a horse before.” – as I said I absolutely love their dynamic, and I also love that this story doesn’t necessarily FEATURE the flesh horse but is part of the universe it’s in.

      Great work as always 🙂

      1. I’m glad you liked it! Especially since I am building these twonas characters week to week. And as much fun as it was to write them as adversaries, I am liking the more casual, teasing versions of them in this story.

        And I’m so glad the four horsemen reference came across so strongly. Thanks so much for the review!

    2. Fog Wall Avatar

      I love the direction this conversation sways and while I’m left unsure of the characters physical features, I can assume that this Old One is an eldrich being with wisdom and power beyond any mortals lively strides.

      The main characters reaction to the Old One’s touch and subsequent summoning of the fleshless horse leaves me curious as to how they came to be here.

      While the horse itself may be one of the four apocolyptic horses, I can’t be sure of which she’d belong to. I’d assume possibly pestilance based off the first line…

      Overall, this caught me rather quick with it’s mystical whimsy amd darkening tone. Will this person be the horses new master? If so, does this mean they will become or have become Death? Maybe Pestilance or Famine… But we know that War never changes.

      1. Thank you so much for the kind words!

        What’s really interesting about this is I didn’t have the words to really focus on Yelena(the narrator) too much. And because of that, I knew with how much the Old One is clearly shown to be supernatural, she might seem mortal in contrast, but she’s actually an angel. Injured and weakened, but an angel nonetheless.

        What I didn’t expect is that she’d come across as potentially one of the horsemen lol. And when I look over the story again, it does seem like I’m going that way. But actually, it’s Yelena and the Old One’s child who will be the horseman of Death.

    3. Shinigama Avatar
      Shinigama

      Maybe I’m just dirty minded, but I read the opening conversation as the start of some Elder God erotica. Especially when the Old One caressed the narrator’s cheek!

      In any case, I love the little story that goes on. It’s also interesting that the Flesh Horse is not the focus of the story – merely an extension of the Old One in the piece. We get to focus on other characters in relation to the Flesh Horse.

      Great piece!

      1. Lol well, we don’t know what those two will be doing in the Axis when they get there, do we? Not to mention that the main plot is actually about their eventual son, so things are definitely going in that direction, so you aren’t totally wrong there.

        And it was fun having the Flesh Horse exist in a way that just makes sense to the plot as something of an aside.

        So glad you enjoyed it!

    4. i-prefer-the-term-antihero Avatar
      i-prefer-the-term-antihero

      IT’S
      SO
      FREAKING
      CUTE
      I feel so giddy inside, both at the story in general, and that you used my idea. Thank you for using it!!

      “You hunted down the only other living beings remotely close to your cave into extinction.”
      –That’s interesting they were the *only* other living beings.
      Did he move so far away from life because he was depressed and wanted to be left alone?

      “My Old One”
      –MY

      “And I’d kill them again if it kept you safe.”
      –Always a heart-melting phrase

      “There’s this… way he looks at me. Time stops. Everything goes fuzzy and… I experience a happiness my kind isn’t meant to know.”
      –This makes *me* feel fuzzy inside. Though the “my kind isn’t meant to know” is fascinating and sad. So angels aren’t meant to fall in love?

      Love the description of his smile being terrifying but reassuring her.

      “Though not only does the sound leave his lips, so too does a stream of fire that swirls into a doorway.”
      –This is very cool…but I can’t help but think of Dr Strange XD

      “It’s so massive that it takes me a moment to even recognize it as a horse.”
      –Neat description

      “What in the nine circles is this?”
      –I love this in-world expletive…but it also doesn’t seem very angelic..is that intentional?

      “You act as if you’ve never seen a horse before.”
      “Don’t toy with me, Old One! What happened to its flesh?”
      –So cute.
      Does he have a name? Why doesn’t she use it? Or has the title/insult become affection at this point?

      “I’ve been told that she’s… not complete. I’d imagine there are… three other horses just like her.” …”She merely awaits her true rider to give her form.”
      –Okay now THAT’S interesting. That is a phenomenal take on the prompt. I love how it brings deeper meaning to an otherwise fluffy one-off.
      I’m curious, will she be that big when she actually has a rider?

      ” Still… she’s a beautiful creature, if not mildly horrific in the implications of her existence. ”
      –Well…*chuckles awkwardly* I’ve got news for you…
      I like that Yelena isn’t horrified, but rather thinks she’s beautiful.

      What is the Axis? Have you mentioned it before?

      The only critique I have for this story is the ellipses after “Yes…” doesn’t seem to fit, to me. “It’s not even a question” seems solid, and a wonderful way to end the story, but an ellipses conveys a level of hesitance to me…

      Their story is adorable all the way through, but now that we’re getting into the part where they are starting to admit they love each other makes me feel especially giddy and fuzzy inside.

      Thank you for this gift on this fine Monday evening, *bows.*

    5. I’m so glad you were able to write a second story this week. I love this continuing story of … two odd characters that clearly have no import to anything else you’re writing.

      I like her calling him, “My Old One”, but I thinkg it feels less like a term of endearment than it’s meant to, since she was calling him “Old One” in all the other stories.

      The Flesh Horse being one of the… uh… important things in the future of this story is pretty cool.

      Curious about “the Axis”.

      Thank you for continuing this and writing a second story.

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